Advice/Help Seeking critique for a new “Dons Pan-Dimensional Diner” recruitment.

[MrMopp]

Hello world!

So, I’m re-starting an old game of mine called “Dons Pan-Dimensional Diner”, which is a resteraunt themed, multi-genre hub where people can put their characters to hang out and interact with each other. I haven’t put it up yet, but I think it’s ready to set sail whenever. Any critiques or comments before I do?

The thing’s been put on the games main thread for now. (In the works, don’t click) Dons Pan-Dimensional Diner v 3.0 I’ll be moving it later.

 

[Idea]

For starters, if your interest check is in the works, you should probably be working on it in the private workshop rather than on the interest check subforums. Otherwise you're making your thread look older than it is meant to be, you're blocking the path of currently looking roleplays and you're potentially confusing people. I realized after checking out the link that you didn't actually put anything in any recruitment area, which confuses me a little regarding why you'd call this thread "critique for a new (..) recruitment", but regardless.

Now, onto the actual critique.

The rest of the content seems to be pretty nice. I quite like degree of personality put into it, and the degree of detail as well. That said, if there is one qualm I have with it (aside from my problem with crossover roleplays in general) is that it leaves too little separation between OOC and IC, or better put, if I was a player in that game I would see you just made the first post of the OOC entirely from a character's perspective, so there's little room to actually try to make a serious OOC post. There's also the trouble of the rules being possibly taken less seriously or heavily misunderstood due to the filtered lens they are put through.

With all that said, while this isn't quite my cup of tea, great job in preparing it!

 

[MrMopp]

For starters, if your interest check is in the works, you should probably be working on it in the private workshop rather than on the interest check subforums. Otherwise you're making your thread look older than it is meant to be, you're blocking the path of currently looking roleplays and you're potentially confusing people. I realized after checking out the link that you didn't actually put anything in any recruitment area, which confuses me a little regarding why you'd call this thread "critique for a new (..) recruitment", but regardless.

Oh. Damn. Forgot about the private workshop. Thanks.

The rest of the content seems to be pretty nice. I quite like degree of personality put into it, and the degree of detail as well. That said, if there is one qualm I have with it (aside from my problem with crossover roleplays in general) is that it leaves too little separation between OOC and IC, or better put, if I was a player in that game I would see you just made the first post of the OOC entirely from a character's perspective, so there's little room to actually try to make a serious OOC post.

To be clear, when you say “OOC” and “IC”, are you talking about the designated threads of those titles or the general state of “out-of-characterness” and “in-characterness” that you’ve observed in my writing?

With all that said, while this isn't quite my cup of tea, great job in preparing it!

Thank you! I appreciate that.

 

[Idea]

To be clear, when you say “OOC” and “IC”, are you talking about the designated threads of those titles or the general state of “out-of-characterness” and “in-characterness” that you’ve observed in my writing?

In this particular case, more along the lines of the second option. I was referring to how in the OOC thread you still wrote the contents in an IC format (aka, through the character's perspective/words), which could lead to the aforementioned issues.

 

[MrMopp]

Hm... well I haven’t actually set up a official OOC thread yet, but I should probably fix that right away. Once I get it rearranged, the structure of the whole thing should look like this:

The Recruitment thread: the long intro to the game in question.

And then for the actual game...

IC: My open post for the game (“it was a typical Tuesday afternoon in the diner...etc, etc. ” or some such).
OOC: a brief salutation and clarification of the change in persona addressing the crowd (“Hey Guys! MrMopp here!...”). Followed by a quick explanation of that threads function.
CS: oh right! That’s actually complete. Fantasy - Diner CS
Lore: Here, I’ll copy/paste the setting info from the “recrutement thread” and store it there.

 

[MrMopp]

Fixed! Fantasy - Dons Diner OOC

 

[MrMopp]

I do have this frustrating little problem though. I can’t seem to copy and paste things on this site and still be able to keep all the boldprints, underlines and italicizes. Is that just with me or is there a way around that?

 

[Spoiled Bread]

I made something like this a long time ago too, but this one seems more crazy than mine XD
I might visit if you proceed to make this one.

Yes, like Idea said the IC and OOC is a bit mixed. Like this.

Now, if you're dumb enough to irk ME personally, but ain't actually souring the RP, I'll just mess with ya. Maybe give ya bunny ears or sumthin.

Now I don't know if the 'ME' in this sentence is you as a GM or the character because he mentioned that this is an RP while keeping that accent which means its also an IC.

You should also consider the border of GMing and godmodding if you want to use your character's power to control the situation. I think as long as you don't abuse this then its okay though.

 

[MrMopp]

Now I don't know if the 'ME' in this sentence is you as a GM or the character because he mentioned that this is an RP while keeping that accent which means its also an IC.

Ohhhh! Now I understand what Idea has been telling me. I’ll ahead I’ll fix that to keep it in character.

You should also consider the border of GMing and godmodding if you want to use your character's power to control the situation. I think as long as you don't abuse this then its okay though.

Yeah, I often been worried about abusing that power. The way I see it, what’s bad for Dons business is what’s bad for my game (by design), so we’re both better off leaving the customers/players to their own devices if we can help it. Though for this incarnation, I’m going to try and have Don be more actively involved in friendly conversation with other characters.

As far as when I need to use Dons powers, I figure I should avoid completely humiliating and/or incapacitating a character beyond recovery, unless the player obviously wants it. For instance, teleporting would be used to diffuse violent or overly chaotic situations into a dark but unlocked room full of balloons (which I’ve done once. Works like a charm). If the turning-people-into-animals thing actually comes to pass- and we can assume the victim player WANTED their character to get humiliated if said character was stupid enough to piss off Don- then I’ll keep the transformation temporary and let them to keep their ability to speak. Otherwise Don might employ partial transformations as an innocent prank.

Still, I have considered doing partial transformations on troublesome characters with fangs and claws. Kinda hard to bite people with a duck bill, after all.

 

[MrMopp]

Oh yes, Spoiled Bread , Would you be able to post a link for your game?

 

[Spoiled Bread]

Oh yes, Spoiled Bread , Would you be able to post a link for your game?

Unfortunately I can't. I did that in another site and that site has a shitty rule of deleting all non-paying accounts that has been inactive for six months. I've been inactive for two years. It's a short-lived game though since I make it a low-commitment overly casual RP.

 

[MrMopp]

Ooooooh darn.