Allcure
Just some feedback from someone who has absolutely no control over character review/acceptance whatsoever:
- Generally, the only thing this RP likes less than having OOC political discussions is bringing religion into the mix. I understand where your inspiration comes from (I am very familiar with Lovecraft), but the concept as is requires the lore to confront the concept of whether or not old gods exist. If there are old gods, are there gods like the Olympians? What about Christian mythos? I think it would probably better suit the RP if she were someone who had the ability to make a specific nightmare manifest. Perhaps she truly believes it is a separate entity, when it is really a projection of herself, one that has been given life by her superpowers and her psyche. That wouldn't break the lore (because we are not required to accept the other entity actually exists) and could keep the rest of her abilities intact.
- I agree with Gus that this reads like an S-rank superpower. It's not whether or not she uses it often, it's about how potent she is when she doesuse it. The Commonwealth, its my understanding, assesses supers on their potential when the super's powers are at their height. In her eldritch form, the capabilities make it an S-rank. It used to be a rule a first character couldn't be an S-rank and while that isn't the case now, I do have some suggestions on the power usage:
- I know you envision her not wanting to use her powers. Makes sense! But this is a super RP and we'll need a narrative reason she'll be doing things with other supers. Sure, they aren't always using their powers, but it would be difficult to see why she would be brought along through major plot events if she doesn't use her powers by her own choice. If she completely loses control, and could only uses them once a month, that would make them even more wary! Perhaps they could be tempered so they are more palatable for her to use in a limited capacity?
- The eldritch form itself is extremely powerful. It has superhuman strength and endurance, as well as mental/psychological effects (fear and memory manipulation). This means when it's toe-to-toe even with many supers, it would be extremely tough for them to match, unless they have fire ready (which is a GREAT limitation), and it uh... eats its enemies? I'd create some limitations to the form itself. Is it slow moving? Does it have bad eyesight/hearing? Are the mental effects only on ordinary people perhaps, and supers don't suffer from these same effects?
- On a much smaller note, I see she is a world class martial artist for several disciplines. I can see her being an expert, and again, I like the idea, but maybe not world class for multiple types of martial arts? My son is a black belt at a dojang and his teachers, and the owners of the dojang, and I'm not sure after 20 years and multiple degrees of black belt that either is 'world class.' The phrasing suggests she is one of the best in the world at two, which I feel would be hard to do at her age.
I'm going to put you in the same bucket as Nifty - I like Ariel, especially with these revisions. I've got ideas on what her eldritch patron actually is, without breaking the "gods are just supers of past civilizations" vibe of the setting. But because I also don't know you as a player, I would prefer if you submitted a different hero for your first character in this RP.
For a patient player who accepts criticism gracefully, I would move the world.
I am going with this. Verbage switch arounda on personality. A couple of things added to their skills and what she is carrying.
Nawww, it's always good to explore other character ideas, but Audio sounds so frickin amazing. And the codename as well!I had a character in the previous RP, Audio. How's powers were similar but dialed up. He was able to output notes so low that the vibrations could shake apart buildings, and tones high enough to boil water. He could also output up to 190dB.
His limitations were that he couldn't fully control the direction of soundwaves, only project in cone-like patterns at best, so collateral was potentially high. He was also not fully immune to his own powers and had to focus on protecting himself if he was in combat too, and that any particulate (dust, rain) or high winds would adversely effect his powers.
I love Audio, but I've played him a bit too much and I wanna explore other ideas in the setting
Frickin cool! The character you've created for this Rp sounds awesome too. I can't wait to meet em. What a sassy lad!
welian
Excellent! I approve of Lyrebird for your first character, welcome to the world of Aegis!Here's a finished version of Lyrebird. I added the said suggestions from Syrenrei about my character's rank as well as an addition of a limitation. I also polished and added furthermore explanations to some of the limitations. I also finished writing her personality bit and so yep! Those are all the changes and additions I could think of
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Lyrebird
Name: Apple RosewoodGender: FemaleAge: 25Power: Vocal ReplicationRank: C1 RankLimiter: (In)ActiveAppearance
Race
Slavic
Hair
Brown
Eyes
Light brown
Height
4'11
Figure
Short and petite
Notes
She has a wing tattoo on the back of her neck.
Personality
Clean
Apple would always be seen with tidy attire, and she loves to represent herself in a clean and tidy manner. She loves having a clean environment; she believes it boosts her efficiency when getting some paperwork done. She's a neat freak and loves seeing the before and after of all the environment she cleans.
Introvert
She loves her own space. She only finds it annoying when people tend to step into her personal space and ask her countless unnecessary questions. She loathes small talk, and she's very fond of deep and meaningful conversations. If you can provide her with just that, she may consider you a friend.
Perfectionist
To Apple, perfection is everything. A single flaw in a task can spend her to spiral into madness. I guess you could say that she's somewhat iffy about imperfections. If a mission fails or doesn't go as she hoped, it will most definitely bother her for months. Thinking analytically about how she can minimize any more errors.
Apathetic
Apple is a rather unapologetic person. She doesn't feel empathy towards her companions. If they were on a mission and one of them was injured, she would feel like it's her duty to help and not out of empathy.
Biography
History
Warning: A traumatised child
The Bird’s Cage
Apple’s earliest memories were of her in a cage, with squawking birds behind her. She doesn’t understand why her guardians put her in that situation. Were they sick of her? Or perhaps they were trying to keep her safe from something. She remained clueless about their intention but was sure about that.
During her time in that tiny cage of hers, she was scared. And when she gets worried, she sings her mother’s lullaby. As she hugged her knees together, her song soon merged with the noises behind her. And little did she know, she mimicked the caged birds' music.
Sunlight finally filtered through the door, and a woman greeted her with a confused look. Apple would then, later on, meet her as Mistress Blight. The mistress clothed her, named her and introduced her to America.
Unfortunately, Apple was quickly thrown into the local orphanage after her mistress' arrest. The orphanage nuns tested her for any sign of the “super gene,” When it came back positive, they rushed her to the nearest Commonwealth office and found her to be a D Rank.
TheOrphanageOpportunity
Apple was a rather… difficult child to raise. Every time she would get the opportunity to live with a new family, she would always be the type to wreak havoc. The orphanage nuns were tempted to send her towards the Commonwealth and the training programs they could offer the child. However, after the news of the Mistress’ death, Apple became low and depressed afterwards. She toned down the chaos she was making to near zero. She became silent and compliant afterwards. No one knew what she was thinking, and the nuns finally knew peace.
After a few more years in the orphanage, she was adopted by a lovely couple looking to raise an academic. Apple was very compliant, despite the strict and extreme schedule her new adopted parents expected of her. After years of finishing up high school with a high GPA, her interests turned to the Commonwealth.
Her interest towards the Commonwealth increased when the news of The Knights of The Raguel caught her attention. It was one lonely afternoon when Apple decided for herself and herself alone.
She didn’t want to live a boring life somebody else dictated for her. She wants to live freely without the constraints of her parents and anybody who tells her otherwise.
Current
And so, after saying goodbye to her angry yet heartbroken parents, she sets off on her own to attain her ‘Blue Card.’ After a few years of honing her body to handle her powers, she becomes an agent of the Commonwealth. Ready to serve in whatever way she can. Apple has been in the Commonwealth’s service for a year and prefers the thrill of missions rather than a sleepless night of studying.
Relationships
- Mistress Blight is an exotic bird smuggler who raised Apple for some time before getting arrested and serving some time in prison. The Mistress is also a known criminal in Queens; she runs an underground operation that extracts exotic and endangered birds for the wealthy to eat. She’s currently deceased… unless... Jk jk XD
- Wealthy Adopted Parents, there was a Mr. and a Mrs Bucksley. Apple never addressed them as mom or dad, even though they were Apple's most prolonged parental figures.
Superpowers
Vocal Replication
The user can mimic the voices of others or imitate sounds such as animal noises and explosions. The user can replicate any sound they hear with perfect clarity and in any manner, the sound was made.
Enhanced Roar
Users can emit a deafening shriek for offensive purposes. If this power is used continuously without a break, the user may lose their voice, so some throat spray would be very beneficial if the user ever plans on using it. They may also be able to emit a roar strong enough to damage hearing and cause fear or paralyzation.
Limitations
Sound Frequency Complications: The user of this power wouldn’t be able to replicate a sound frequency that would be too low or too high. Furthermore, if her human ears can hear it, then she'll be able to replicate it.
Sore Throat: If the throat is sore or damaged, this power would be completely unusable.
Copy and Talk: The user must be able to hear the voice they intend to mimic at least once. A complete sentence will do. And this requires excellent hearing as well, so if the user’s ears are damaged or blocked, they wouldn’t be able to mimic a new voice. And when they use their roar, they must also be wearing some sort of ear protection to not damage their own ears.
Vocal Overuse: The user would need to rest their voice when they use their roar. The user is very much prone to being exhausted if their power has been overused to an extent. The user could also suffer from a bleeding throat if she uses her enhanced roar a bit too much.
Other Abilities
Skills
Singing - Even though she is known to mimic some celebrity’s voices, she’s also known for her singing voice.
Medical Knowledge - Apple dropped out of medical school after enduring two years of it; she has still retained some knowledge of it. She continues to study complicated injuries so that she can be of use to her allies.
Flaws
Asthmatic - Apple is an asthmatic and must always have her inhaler on standby if any combat or dexterous movement is necessary from her.
Less Useful in Combat - She's heavily dependent on her powers; without them, she would be completely vulnerable.
Loadout
A throat spray, an inhaler, a combat knife, a phone, and some AirPods. On a much bigger pouch of her bag is a medical kit.
Augmentations
-None-
There's a few typos, but nothing that can't be fixed tomorrow morning after some strong coffee. Manic, post her up and get in here, I miss you!I am going with this. Verbage switch arounda on personality. A couple of things added to their skills and what she is carrying.
Paddestoel
Name: Sofie Corbach
Gender: Female-ish
Age: 30
Power: Fungi
Rank: A3 Rank
Limiter: Active, Level 3 (Duals sense when in urban environments.)
Appearance
Race
Dutch (Born in the Netherlands)
Hair
N/A
Eyes
N/A
Height
7'0"
Figure
120 Pounds amass of fungal growth. Starting at the base, where what were once toes have elongated into phalanges with the hallux now at the heel, all of which support the full weight and are coated in a metacarpal pad. Moving to the hock, long spinally stems sprawl out like tufts of hair with visible moisture accumulating. Small pustules coat the surface between the hock and knee, with visible veins woven between the pulsating sacks.
The form is primarily humanoid in shape from the thigh up to the shoulders. However, all flesh is a spongy gray hue. More spinally stems tuft out from each wrist. Fingers are elonged on each hand with nail beds coated in soil. On both shoulder and neck, the Gills of different colonies of mushrooms spread across the space. Large stems topped with flaring caps covered in purple specks protrude from her head. Facial features have been severely warped. A bulbous forehead gives way to enlarged cheeks with only slits for what once were eyes. The slits appear more as a wrinkle than what was ever home for human eyes. A small nose tip is still visible on an otherwise alien-like face. Though her mouth remains, with lips now black as dark green thick salvia drips from the corners of her mouth, and flecks of grey matter expel with every breath.
Notes
A walking mushroom monster.
Personality
Resilient
After such a difficult upbringing is has learned to bounce back and grow from negative experiences. Being a giant fungus comes with its own challenges. Luckily, Sofie has had extensive therapy over the years. This has assisted her in having both a good outlook on life and being able to bounce back from challenges. Traumatic experiences and stressful moments in life can leave scars and wounds on people's souls. Sofie has come to believe there are seasons of life and some are not as easy as others but much like the seasons of the year, nothing lasts forever. It is best to dust yourself off and enjoy the good things in life and not focus on the bad.
Enthusiastic
Do you know those people with a near-death experience and who seem to be high on life? Sofie is a more mellow form of this. After being locked away for so many years with no prospect of independence, life is her oyster. Mmmmm, oyster mushrooms, I mean, yes, excitement. Not over the top, mind you, but she is eager to get out into the world.
Simple Innocence
Sofie has not had many, if any, peer interactions. Yet, with all those she has interacted with being in an authoritative or instructor position for most of her life, she struggles with social interactions and basic nuances. Social cues are often overlooked by Sofie, as are personal bubbles. Keep in mind her sight is based on where her breath can spread spores. Can' t see a face across the room if there are no spores.
Anger Issues
Sofie struggles with anger management issues. Her therapist says she needs to work on using healthy coping mechanisms instead of resorting to rage. However, Sofie quickly switches to anger when in a frustrating situation. This starkly contrasts her resilience, but one can bounce back after a good chair smashing, right? Sofie is known for getting mad and getting even.
"I don't like to call it getting revenge, I like to call it returning the favor, it sounds better." - Sofie
Biography
History
Sofie was born to a sweet couple in the Netherlands. They were delighted to have their first child. Sadly, the celebration was short-lived when Sofie started to show strange deformations. First, her toes began to grow long. Second, Sofie's bald head grew lumps instead of hair. The baby's drool started to hold specks of green. After a large batch of tests, the doctors concluded that she carried the 'super gene' and this was her powers.
Sofie's facial and lower leg bone structure began to warp by one-year-old. By age two, Sofie's flesh had grown dull and gill-like growths had started on her neck. With the state of the Netherlands, her parents knew she stood no chance there. She needed specialized help to cope with whatever she was mutating into. Reaching out to the Commonwealth, they pleaded for help. Luckily, their cries were answered. The only problem was it was only for her. Sofie's parents coordinated with the American agencies to meet in a boat off Zandvoort Beach.
At first, her parents worked to keep in touch. With video calls, they would try to encourage their little one. But by age five, Sofie no longer resembled their daughter. With her sight nearly lost to the new shape of her face, gray skin, green drool, and black lips, they could not even bring themselves to speak to her. It was decided it was better that her parents faded into a distant memory. Interestingly as Sofie lost her sight, the progression of her condition increased.
With sight lost, the doctors worked on various ways for Sofie to interact with the world around her. She was learning brail, listening to books, and walking with a cane. Her education and medical care continued in one of the Commonwealth's many facilities. Luckily, given most of the staff was in the scientific medical research field, the facility was less affected by the 2018 staffing purge.
When puberty struck, Sofie's body evolved. First came heightened hearing, smell, and taste. Then, with her body now maturing, she was able to see. Well, not in the traditional way. Spores spread with each breath. An almost inaudible rattle would pulse from her forehead. It rippled out and back, bringing details of her surroundings wherever the spores had spread. Now with a sonar-like vision, the Commonwealth saw potential. Where before, they planned to give Sofie a confined but comfortable life, she was no longer helpless.
Sofie was taught how to hunt, survive in the wilds and blend in with her surroundings. During her early twenties, Sofie trained daily to hone her senses and abilities. It is only in the last few years that Sofie has been let out. Often working on intel missions and covert projects. She is never in the know enough to feel she is of any true importance but going outside is nice, not to mention the other mushrooms in the wilds sing the most beautiful songs.
Relationships
- Other person's name: Description of your character's relationship to this person.
- You can consolidate this list if your character knows a lot of people or has a big family or if you're lazy like me.
Superpowers
Main Power
A walking spore-producing fungus able to switch between various types of spores, creating different interactions with the world around her.
Fungal Breath
Paddestoel can excrete varying types of spores. She can draw in additional air into her lungs, causing them to draw in triple their capacity before blowing the air out at the speed of a sneeze through the gills of the mushrooms adored around her neck.
Spores:
Standard haloid multicellular organisms develop into varying mushroom species if left in the right conditions. This is what she usually excretes to provide sonar sight.
Plague Fungi is best compared to the Amanita phalloides, aka death cap mushroom. Unlike the death cap, which is only dangerous if ingested, inhalation of these spores can cause abdominal cramping, severe digestive tract upset, and dizziness as the kidneys, liver, and other organs fail, resulting in death for some unlucky individuals.
Spite is hay fever or allergic reaction spores. Have you ever been around something you are highly allergic to? Swollen, watery, itchy eyes, runny yet stuffed nose, facial swelling, and even a rash. Everyone reacts to this one differently, but it is a great way to clear out space quickly.
Heightened Senses
- Hypersalivation is a side effect of the spores she creates from her throat and lungs.
- Hyperacusis, has extremely good hearing, with the ability to hear 65,000 Hz.
- Hyperosmia, where instead of having 9 million sensory receptors like the average human, Sofie has roughly 100 million along the nasal cavity. This also dramatically increases her taste.
- Sonar Sight The cavity within her forehead resonates at a shallow frequency. Subsequently, she can 'see' with a sonar, picking up on the spores she exhales. Sofie can use her sonar to see her own spores and those of the fungi family. This means she can see the vibration from molds, yeast, mushrooms, and toadstools. Given the vibrations of the varying fungi change based on their state of well-being, Sofie can understand fungi on an extremely primitive level. They also provide more visual range than simply her own spores provide. When Sofie stays in one place or resides in a space for a good period of time, her spores can spread, creating a clear outline of the surrounding space. They also grow into little snacks if left in the right conditions long enough, which is always a pleasant surprise.
Limitations
Limited sonar sight: Sofie's sonar only picks up on fungi. With her own spores spread through her own breath, it takes time for them to accumulate enough for her to have any sort of visual range. Just whatever you do, don't ask her to wear a mask...
Slow going: With such a limited visual field with her own spores and, in general, with fungi not blanketing the world, Sofie must move slowly. It takes time for her to see the world around her.
Monsterous form: Sofie is not blending into any crowd. Her freakish fungi form is only good at hiding when out in nature. No urban dinner parties for her.
Other Abilities
Skills
Great cook
Awesome listener
Can read brail
Outdoor survival skills
Tracking skills
Camouflaging skill - limited to forest or outdoor environments.
Loadout
Jug of water
Pancho
Fire starter set
Large hunting knife
Augmentations
None.
Hop on it, B Bag o Fruit ! It's the weekend!
welian
Awesome. No shocker on those typos. My week was hilariously bad. My brain is fried. Coffee, breakfast and grammarly tomorrow. 
I am officially up to 4 planners to juggle.
Follow-up: has he seen a casket before?
Yup! He came to several Rapture aftermath funerals
No sweat! I'm using today to relax and think about where to take the RP next.
