Experiences No one wants to RP with me...

[AlexneushoornTheGreat]

Ever since joining this site, I haven't done much roleplaying. Every time I try to start a roleplay or once I've started a roleplay, the other person ends up ghosting me and never responds back. Other times when I try to start a roleplay, no one shows any interest in my roleplay pitches. I only really have one roleplaying partner who actually responds back to my roleplaying posts, but even they are starting to distance from me due to the struggles of real life.

The only thing I do on this forum that people seem to respond to is my Random question of the day thread. And that leaves me to think: What's the point of being on a roleplaying forum if no one wants to roleplay with me? That's like coming to a place for studying martial arts and not studying martial arts. So I'm considering leaving this place, which would be a shame, as this is a cool site, but I just feel like there's no point in being here since no one's interested in roleplaying with me.

If anyone's interested in roleplaying with me, feel free to hit me up, but please, for the love of God, don't ghost me like the rest of them. Because I hate it when people turn their back on me.

 

[Murdergurl]

So let me begin by saying: Ghosting is an intrinsic part of online roleplay. It happens to everyone, and it happens often. Don't get down about it, as it is a problem literally everyone faces.

That being said, I often find myself on the meager end of the RP spectrum myself. But I know that I'm inherently less-than optimal for the general RP smorgasbord that is out there. Usually, an idea gets at least some kind of response. I'm new here, but more than 2 decades into the RP scene. So I can tell you that unless your advert is utterly bereft of detail, you are bound to get someone to at least inquire about it. What are your general interests for RP? Like, what genres do you prefer? What is you post style and frequency? What is your availability? These are all important things to state in your adverts so that you glean partners that are more your speed.

If you are having particular trouble meeting people's interests, take a look at what they are advertising in the forums and see if that is something you can do in your own flavor for your own pitches. When it comes to answering other's requests, keep in mind if you are meeting THEIR requirements. It's a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes you might have to consider that you are approaching people who are looking for something you aren't providing. So you need to find where you fit in. And sometimes that niche spot is scarce. I personally have found that me not being into anime, not being into furries, not liking slice-of-life or Academy/school settings, not liking superhero themes, etc. etc. has put me at odds with the trend of stuff that is out there. Couple that with my disinclination to 1x1 RP, and this becomes even more of a conundrum. But I KNOW that something will eventually come around that I will totally be able to get into. The issue is being patient enough to wait it out. Quitting reduces your chances to a hard zero.

My suggestion: Chat in the general threads. Find people that might have similar interests. see if you click with them as a site member and not just another PR partner, and you will find that the ensuing roleplays tend to stick around longer and more frequently.

 

[Crayons]

Having looked at your two current/latest interest checks, I think you might benefit from reading some of the threads in this section about how to make a good interest check.

One of them lacks any kind of detail at all, and you could do with putting a bit more effort into describing what you offer and what you want as an RP partner. The other is extremely specific, where you have described in exact detail what character you want the other person to play, including names, personality, etc. - most people prefer to be able to make up their own character, even if you provide a setting, theme, or RP starting point. So I would try to find a happy medium between those two, while doing some research into what makes interest checks work in general.

There's nothing you can do about ghosting though. That's just part of the RP experience, unfortunately.

 

[Murdergurl]

...The other is extremely specific, where you have described in exact detail what character you want the other person to play, including names, personality, etc. - most people prefer to be able to make up their own character, even if you provide a setting, theme, or RP starting point.

Yeah, I think that very, VERY few people are going to want to jump into an RP where you took away their creative freedom to make their own character.

 

[oldbadname]

This entire post is a mood. As someone who ghosts occasionally, it's never really the other person's fault, it's usually our own. At least in my experience. If you love rp'ing, keep working for it. Find people who love it too.

 

[Emotional Enigma]

Try branching out into other genres and styles if you aren't getting partners with what you currently are seeking. You might discover a new style or genre you prefer!

 

[CeriseFern]

I've been having problems with ghosting... I get that it's 'part of the experience' and I know people have lives and sometimes things just don't work out. Yet I still feel like I'm being ghosted far more often now than I used to. No statistics to back up the idea, just a feeling.

Though I am wondering very much as if it's me, as I recently had someone block me on discord out of the blue. I can't for the life of me figure out what I could have done wrong, but that seems pretty extreme compared to standard ghosting.
Just... Do your best to not get down about it and keep putting yourself out there. That's all you can do. It applies to RPes, and just about everything else in life too. TBH.

 

[Murdergurl]

I've been having problems with ghosting... I get that it's 'part of the experience' and I know people have lives and sometimes things just don't work out. Yet I still feel like I'm being ghosted far more often now than I used to. No statistics to back up the idea, just a feeling.

Though I am wondering very much as if it's me, as I recently had someone block me on discord out of the blue. I can't for the life of me figure out what I could have done wrong, but that seems pretty extreme compared to standard ghosting.
Just... Do your best to not get down about it and keep putting yourself out there. That's all you can do. It applies to RPes, and just about everything else in life too. TBH.

I myself am part of an older crowd when it comes to the RP community. So I know that it's become progressively harder to match up. I actually stopped doing 1x1 RP because of the incompatibility I find now. Dunno if this might be your problem too. But in years past, i melded pretty well with the status quo. Nowadays, I find myself met with contention more often than not. So I get where you're coming from with the blocks and such. I've left entire RP sites because of how out of the circle I felt, and even would get badgered for my views.

 

[CeriseFern]

I myself am part of an older crowd when it comes to the RP community. So I know that it's become progressively harder to match up. I actually stopped doing 1x1 RP because of the incompatibility I find now. Dunno if this might be your problem too. But in years past, i melded pretty well with the status quo. Nowadays, I find myself met with contention more often than not. So I get where you're coming from with the blocks and such. I've left entire RP sites because of how out of the circle I felt, and even would get badgered for my views.

I almost exclusively do 1v1s for that same reason funny enough. I often ran group RPes, but would attract drama seekers that ruined the experience for others. If I just do 1v1s it means I can focus on just I's and the other person's entertainment.
Although that does mean if one person backs out, then the whole RP is dead. That's not always the case for group RPes, which can often keep going.

 

[Murdergurl]

I almost exclusively do 1v1s for that same reason funny enough. I often ran group RPes, but would attract drama seekers that ruined the experience for others. If I just do 1v1s it means I can focus on just I's and the other person's entertainment.
Although that does mean if one person backs out, then the whole RP is dead. That's not always the case for group RPes, which can often keep going.

I like group RP because I can keep to the sidelines if need be and not take the lime light. It lets me RP with others as I see fit, and I can duck out of the action (so to speak) if I need to. And yeah, it doesn't hinge on just one other player participating.