Fantasy Mononoke&Makina「 Out-of-Character 」

[Blu]

I’ll be starting the IC in a day or two ^^

 

[Pepsionne]

Will you have a discord for ooc planning or just keep everything on here? Blu

 

[Blu]

Will you have a discord for ooc planning or just keep everything on here? Blu

I think a discord would be nice. I'll have it up later.

 

[Blu]

Alright everyone, our discord is open for business: Join the Mononoke&Makina Discord Server!

 

[Blu]

Gaius Danius Griinia Here are the problems that needs addressing with your sheets:

1. Hide seems kind of Mary Sue-y imo. He's both an amazing swordsman and shinobi (he's even known for it), his physical senses are top notch, knowledgeable about the wilds, has a special material sword "blessed by a goddess" and can't use regular swords cause he'll break them in a single swing. It just seems too power chasey for me. So a lot of that needs to change.

2. Epithets like "Deathbringer" need to go. Again, more power chasing but it also sounds a bit ridiculous. And then his last name is Shinigami, literally "death god", and the way you wrote it "Hide-no-Shinigami", Shinigami would actually be his first name. Nothing wrong with a bit of edginess but I can't take that seriously.

3. A minor issue but you mention Hide has ties to both the shogunate and the Yatagarasu but his 'Affiliations' say none.

4. For Towa, manipulating 100x gravity is absolutely bonkers. 10x would be the max I'd allow for now.

5. Towa's last weakness is an explanation of her fighting style more than an actual weakness. The very last part mentions a weakness to close combat (which can be mitigated by her skills), but it seems like a throwaway line. Even the first weakness you took the time out to explain that she's incredibly powerful. You need to explain that last weakness better and add at least one more.

6. Minor: you switched to Yomi in Towa's sheet to refer to enemies, but Yomi is a location. Demons is the enemy type.

7. You need to fix the parameters to show the green progress bars. Where there's a '0' in the code, replace that with an increment of 20 that matches up with your stat value.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Gaius Danius Griinia Here are the problems that needs addressing with your sheets:

1. Hide seems kind of Mary Sue-y imo. He's both an amazing swordsman and shinobi (he's even known for it), his physical senses are top notch, knowledgeable about the wilds, has a special material sword "blessed by a goddess" and can't use regular swords cause he'll break them in a single swing. It just seems too power chasey for me. So a lot of that needs to change.

2. Epithets like "Deathbringer" need to go. Again, more power chasing but it also sounds a bit ridiculous. And then his last name is Shinigami, literally "death god", and the way you wrote it "Hide-no-Shinigami", Shinigami would actually be his first name. Nothing wrong with a bit of edginess but I can't take that seriously.

3. A minor issue but you mention Hide has ties to both the shogunate and the Yatagarasu but his 'Affiliations' say none.

4. For Towa, manipulating 100x gravity is absolutely bonkers. 10x would be the max I'd allow for now.

5. Towa's last weakness is an explanation of her fighting style more than an actual weakness. The very last part mentions a weakness to close combat (which can be mitigated by her skills), but it seems like a throwaway line. Even the first weakness you took the time out to explain that she's incredibly powerful. You need to explain that last weakness better and add at least one more.

6. Minor: you switched to Yomi in Towa's sheet to refer to enemies, but Yomi is a location. Demons is the enemy type.

7. You need to fix the parameters to show the green progress bars. Where there's a '0' in the code, replace that with an increment of 20 that matches up with your stat value.

Me be anime now?

 

[Blu]

Me be anime now?

Okay looking much better. I still need you to add one more weakness for Towa.

Also, I mentioned it in the discord, but your samurai's main weapon should really come from their makina, otherwise it'll be really ineffective against machines. Their bodies are way too advance for conventional weapons during this time. Extreme heat or weapons made from machine material (I'm locking this option) are the only other alternatives.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Okay looking much better. I still need you to add one more weakness for Towa.

Also, I mentioned it in the discord, but your samurai's main weapon should really come from their makina, otherwise it'll be really ineffective against machines. Their bodies are way too advance for conventional weapons during this time. Extreme heat or weapons made from machine material (I'm locking this option) are the only other alternatives.

Are....
Are Makina just Blades?

 

[Blu]

Are....
Are Makina just Blades?

Essentially

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Essentially

 

[Blu]

Xenoblade 3 hype!

Let me know when you're finish with the last changes and give me a hex color code if you want to use the ic format.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Xenoblade 3 hype!

Let me know when you're finish with the last changes and give me a hex color code if you want to use the ic format.

Done
No hex code for me

 

[Blu]

Done
No hex code for me

Alrighty, you're good to go. Accepted~