Fantasy Mary Sue's Empire [Closed]

[Caffeine Freak]

Dark Blade woke the fuck up fresh and looked around. Somehow they were in a city and he was in ?-sensei's arms (no homo tho bro fo sho). Rising up, Derp Blade observed his surroundings masterfully. Citizens walked around on their daily commute and generally tried to ignore the weird dudes who had popped up out of nowhere. "Ah, [Insert City Name Here], a generic urban environment I know well from my pilgrimage." He said sagely BUT THEN the Grim reaper hopped in on the scene and just generally looked pissed off.

"You guys took my hell hounds and now Peta's threatening to sue. Y'all suck." Grim folded his arms. "Thankfully for me, however, being in charge of the death department has also given me control of the dead memes sub-storage, so you guys are basically fucked right now." Death himself clapped his hands, summoning none other than Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way out of a smoke cloud. "Have fun. And if you aint dead by the time I get off my shift then I'm taking ten years off all ya author's lives for puttin me through this." The Grim Reaper skidaddled, leaving the god of all Mary Sues in his wake.

 

[capMARVELOUS]

"Yare yare daze..." Bokuwa-sensei sighed. "This will be a chore." Despite his obvious displeasure with the situation, he stood, gladdened to see that Dark Blade-kun was healed, and faced the horrible threat of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. He clapped his massive hands together, forming a shockwave that knocked the annoying goff backward. When his hands separated, they had turned into iron. That was on fire.

With a mighty cry of "ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!" Bokuwa-sensei punched the Grim Reaper's minion, faster than the eye could see.

 

[QizPizza]

Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito
Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito stopped posing to see that there were somehow more enemies to face. There were now guards with really boring superpowers like super strength, super speed and shooting lasers, just like Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito, though he did not know that his powers were so painfully generic that he was a copy himself. Needless to say, Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito was not amused that the "super" guards shared abilities with himself. "You copycats! I won't let you get away with copying my powers!"

The numerous empowered guards were noticeably confused with Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito's anger, but they still attacked. Idiots. They had no idea what was coming to them. Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito transformed into his second Superform and released numerous seeking beams that obliterated the soldiers before turning towards the hellhounds that melded a giant monster, with some dude standing in front a silver haired girl and a dragon girl (Read: potential Harem members). That dude must have obviously betrayed them! "Anata wa uragirimonoda!!!!" (You are a
traitor!!!!).

Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito had no choice, he turned into Superform III - Demonslayer Variant and fired a black fire beam towards the traitor and the monster behind him, tearing up at the betrayal of his new found ally, now turned enemy. "SEIGI O SASAGERU!!!!!!!!!" (BOW TO JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!)

 

[Reis]

Reberta's hair flew wildly in the non-existant wind. Her armor, rather than turning yellow like one might logically expect, had actually become a deeper shade of red. Her scaly tale swiped the air, wriggling in the powerful breeze that actually wasn't there. That's right--she just skipped ssj's 1 through 3, all the way to number 4!

After Reberta stopped yelling for the past 20 minutes as if she were constipated but she was obviously just powering up, she turned her head to address her friends. "Darku Chocolate-kun was just taken to a city!!" She saw him from 1000000000 million miles away because she can. "We have to go help him, desu."

She then started yelling. One minute passed. Then 30. As time went on, her yelling grew louder and loueder. And finally, at the peak of her shouting, she teleported all of the sues to the city.

"Help...Darku Choculetu...desu...." And she fell to the ground, her dragon saiyan form gone. She was perfectly fine, of course, just needed a quick nap.

I got you fam, desu Caffeine Freak

 

[SolemnSongbird]

????? ?????

"... This is never a good thing." Solae mumbled, staring at... a much more beaten up and battered version of himself. "Three things, one, stop being an asshole and slaughtering people, you're going way overboard and you're just getting Death wayyyy more pissed off at you, not the best idea. Just torture them or put them in time stasis or whatever, I don't care. Second, that group of weirdos from before? Yeah stick with them, otherwise shit hits the fan pretty badly. And third, there's a union meeting next week, don't be late. If you're wondering I'm from the timeline that results from the shit you've been doing just now. Thanks for screwing things up." The other Solae flipped off the original and disappeared back to their own timeline. "...Well ok then." Solae sighed, wandering around and looking for the weirdos from earlier. "Coulda at least told me where the hell they were... That would've been nice since, you know, I'm lost. But no, just be a complete prick and then hop back off to your timeline again. Why is it I can never get along with myself?"​

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Derku Bledu charged at Ebony-san Dark'ness-san Dementia-san Raven-san Way-san, katana on fire. "Omai wa mou-"

But before he could finish his killing blow, he was interrupted.

"2 slow ye fukn prep" Ebony dodged Dark Blade's undodgeable attack and sank her teeth into his neck, drawing from his infinite power. DB screamed: "aaahhhhhhh" then stepped away(?)

He looked back at Ebony and noticed she was a vampire, though he knew that already because DB sees everything. From Dark Blade's power, Ebony had summoned her own demonic katana that said '666' on the handle and was a dark purple that matched her corset and ripped fishnets and earings that were upside down crosses. "deth said that if i kill u i get my nakama back even tho we're pretty tight cuz me and deth are both goffs." She said determinendly.

Dark Blade balked but remained stone faced and raised his own katana. On the blood of his family he would see her destroyed.

(yo so the sues have all ended up in a city now thanks to some convenient plot device so it might be less awkward if the rest of ya are there too)

 

[capMARVELOUS]

Bokuwa-sensei balked even worse than Dark Blade-kun. The horrible goff was not only still intact after the vicious beating he had given her, but had somehow managed to power up. The aged monk clapped his hands to his face and shouted, "OH MY GOD!"

It was time to power up again. Bokuwa-sensei pointed dramatically at Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and said, "Behold, the powers of my stando!" He brought his ignited iron fists together, creating another shockwave. Raw energy began to evaporate off of his body, forming a shape above him... the shape of a humanoid creature! This was Bokuwa-sensei's Stando, able to punch a hole in reality itself, and as the energy flowing off of his body continued to flow, the shape it took became more and more clear...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKER!" Bokuwa-sensei's Stando cried. It was... DUMBLYDORE!

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Ebony's eyes widened as Dumblydore popped in on it. "ah fuk its dumbledork" Enonby raised her satantic katana. "Come @ me u prep." She stared him down as MCR music started playing outta nowhere. [AN: if you don't know who mcr are then get tha fuk outta here!] Enopby fired a bolt of demon flames that took out a nearby hollister (a preppy store) just to demonstrate her immense power.

 

[SolemnSongbird]

????? ?????

"How did I forget that I could just do this?" Solae mumbled to themself, suddenly appearing within the general vicinity of... Some weird goth and a really buff as hell dude who seemed to, from what Solae could tell, be fighting each-other. Oh and there was some weird ninja too. "Ooh! A fight!" Solae suddenly disappeared, ending up a few meters away with a bucket of popcorn. Solae sat down and made themself comfortable, hoping that this fight would at least be mildly entertaining to watch. Other Solae's from different timelines all began to appear around the Solae from this timeline, betting various things of various value on the outcome of this fight, ranging from knowledge of other timelines to a doomsday weapon to an infinite supply of liquor.​

 

[QizPizza]

Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito
Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito was suddenly teleported into the city where he saw all of his potential allies (and harem members) gathered. He obliviously looked around at the city as the battle between Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-Way and Dark-dono Blade-dono. That is until he saw a person slightly resembling Harem Member #27 was killed by Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-Way's reckless blast that took out the Holister store for scrubs. Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito broke down into tears for two episodes, before taking two more episodes having a dramatic flashback of the practically nonexistant time he spent with Harem Member #27... or was it #26? When he was done, he took another 3 episodes internally monologuing about how he will never let his friends get hurt, even though the girl killed wasn't even one of his Harem Members, which was also besides the fact that this was the 12th time he made this exact same monologue.

Spurred by completely unjustified rage for the death of Not-Harem Member #27/#28, Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito screamed for a whole episode, gaining the power needed to achieve Superform IV - Unjustified Revenge Variant Type-4 Model F (AKA Edgelord Variant Number 1). Now, Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito's armor was darker, spikier, and edgier than even Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-Way's demon sword. At this moment, Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito had irreversibly turned into a generic edgelord with black clothes (At least, until the end of the Arc). Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito's voice also dropped 4 octaves, and sounded like a person who smoked cigarettes for 100 years straight.

With his new found edgelordness, he rushed at Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-Way, not screaming, but with a permanent scowl on his face. He punched the goph so hard, that the entire city block behind her instantly crumbled, and that was without lasers. To make sure the Harem Member murderer would truly die, Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito released a blast of dark energy of pure edgyness at her. However, the goph was completely unharmed, given that she was too edgy for even Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito's Edgelord Form.

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Ebony was thrown back by Shirohito Hirozukunoritodorito's Superform IV - Unjustified Revenge Variant Type-4 Model F edge blast, but was ultimately unharmed as satan himself (who she was homies with - perks of being a goff) protected her by infusing his power.

Ebony: U fink that would hurt me? i will nevar b defeeted by a fokn prep

W/ the power of satan AND the devil, Ebony summoned two goffick bois from the underworld: Draco Malfoy in a simple plan t-shirt and Vampire Potter with his scar that he had changed into a upside down pentagram. Shit got real.

Dark Blade, unfazed, lashed out his final attack.

Dark Blade: *teleports behind you* "Nothin personal kid"

He drove his flaming diamond sword into Ebony's back, its magical blade returning his power. Ebony screamed in demon language as her stolen power vanished.

 

[SolemnSongbird]

????? ?????

"AWW COME ON!" Nearly all of the Solae's yelled, grumbling angrily over losing their bets. "I told you idiots that she'd get beaten, but noooo nobody listened." The Solae from this timeline said smugly, glad that they didn't have to rig the fight in order to win the bet. "You guys better pay up at the union meeting, you hear?" "Fiiiiine." "Damn bastard, this had to be rigged!" "Rigged? Hey dumbass, we're all the same person with the same powers. If they tried to pull something we would have noticed." "S-Shut up!" Over a matter of seconds all of the other Solae's had disappeared back to their original timelines. "Heheheh, suckers." Solae mumbled, finishing the last of their popcorn and tossing the bucket away. "Still, that was a bit anti-climatic. It's almost tempting to... nah, that wouldn't be much fun." Solae muttered, standing up. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, a bright idea popped into Solae's head that could easily get Death off his back. "Ooh! That's absolutely perfect! Heheheh... Just wait till that bonehead shows his ugly mug, he's going to get one hell of a surprise." Now would be the perfect time for maniacal laughter, but Solae wanted to save that for his little plan. Meanwhile there was really just waiting to do, waiting for Death to show up and try something. Oh sure they could try and aggravate him and lure him out, but that would be boooooring. Maybe they could screw with these other people here who just won the fight? That could prove... mildly amusing, but they weren't entirely sure it was the best idea. Then again, they really didn't have much else to do, and being concerned about something being a good idea or not wasn't generally their thing. Solae sat back down, making his best attempt to look completely innocent as an enormous skyscraper appeared out of nowhere right above Dark Blade's head.​

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Dark Blade bowed at his ally's appearance. "Marty-san." He decided to refer to Martha with a more masculine name because of his Japanese respect that he had learned in Japan. "Ebony-sama stands in our path, and things are not looking daijabou."

Indeed, Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way stood facing the group in her ripped miniskirt with a belt that had a skull on the front and her Good Charlotte t-shirt that had a blood red pentagram on the back and a picture of Joel's hawt face on the front and her knee high ugg boots that were jet black.

"Lawl, Deth sed dat u guys were dgnerous but turnz out y'all just a buncha prepppsssss." Ebony bawlthed.

 

[Cocolamoco]

Ebany Dorkness Demensha Ravon Wei was indeed a powerful foe. She stomped her foot on the ground, which was covered in black fishnets that went up to her knee and uggs which were also black "We wer on are wai 2 a fucking MCR concert, not that yu preppz wood no wut that is, an then Deth teletransported me her saing i gota destroi you preps be4 i can get back to my MCR concert wiv Draco" Enoby yelled.

The goff boi with black foundation and white hair with black streaks stepped forward "yeah"

Peri turned to Mart. She sensed great power from him and knew that he too was a reliable ally. "Marth, we cannot destroy this creature through normal means. Although my guns can shoot through any and everything all at once with perfect accuracy, it seems her power, known as 'goff' makes her immune to all of our attacks!"

The guy with a really long name-dorito-kun lowered his head in agreement, "It's not that we are weak, but..." He clenched his teeth "her goff ability makes her more edgy than all of us combined...!"
"Nani?!" D-Blade yelled, his eyes were filled with surprise and also sadness.
Peri shook her head "we cannot win with strength alone" she paused for dramatic effect. "we will have to use our brains!"
A varying degree of gasps rang out among the group of OP dudes and gurls (except Reberta-nim becoz she's taking a quick meditation-nap)

Enoby raised her middle-finger "can you prepppz fuking die alredayd so we can leave???"

Just then! Marty walked up to Enoby and smirked. Peri and the rest got their weapons ready, what was Martha going to do?! "Enoby-sama. Were you and Draco... on a date?"

Enoby got really pissed just then, she grabbed her simple plan black shirt "Are you foking serious yuo fuking prepp you think it was a foking date?!?!"

Marty chimed in with an even bigger smirk that rivalled even Dante-dono "then it wasn't a date?" he said to Draco this time (this is getting intense )

Draco looked at Enoby shyly "um i meen... Enonby I.. nevr mind.." he said sadly (hes aktooly rlly in love wid Enoby but he doesn't want 2 admit it becoz he dosant want 2 be rejekted )
Enoby tossed her black hair with streaks to the side and faced Draco who had a really sad look on his face, "wate Draco I only sed that becoz of the preps!!"
Just then!! The other goff vampire boy with the scar on his forehead that looked like a red upside down pentagram stood in between Enoby and Draco with an angry look on his face "Enoby U wer on a dait with Draco?!?! Dos that meen ur daiting Draco????" (Hairy aslo loves Enoby and he dosant liek Draco becoz Drco lieks Enoboy)

Marty's smirk was smirking. "Nani!? How did you turn them against each other like that?!" Peri said while also meditating with her eyes open.

Merty responded "I exploited the mary-sue love-triangle strategy" his smirk's smirk developed sentience and left Marty's body in search of it's own identity.

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Dark Blade nodded in appreciation of his ally's tactic. Being a smooth pimp himself, he understood the physics of the love triangle. "Very good, Marth-sama. It appears their infighting has left them vulnerable to attack."

Indeed, Dark Blade saw to exploit this weakness, and thus began charging his power and end the fight once and for all. He yelled KaMeHaMeHAAAAAAA as he charged up his attack.

It'd only take about three hours to get ready. As long as Ebony and the goth bois didn't movie, it'd be gucci.

Aight so if you guys haven't caught up yet, the Sue gang is battling Ebony - the most infamous Mary Sue out there - in the middle of some non-descript city so just hop right in.

 

[Generic Brooding Antihero]

Ah, but to Dark Blade-dono's great dismay, the unholy love triangle moved. Not out of their own volition, but because the ground started shaking.

It had started as a low rumbling -- like the buzzing of a bee, it was easy to ignore, until it refused to die, until it kept growing and growing, festering, and next thing you knew, you were Mr. Bean in that one picnic episode. The sound of footsteps stomping on concrete echoed everywhere.

Dante had disappeared for awhile, presumably to play catch with his new devil dogs, and film his own spin-off where he spent ten episodes moaning about daddy issues and teaching the audience how to put on eyeliner. But finally, he was back, and stronger than ever.

The sun blared behind him, tracing the outline of his silhouette. The Time Skip had done him good. He looked older now, even if his hairstyle was the same. A single strand of facial hair stood on his chin.

Most importantly, the Time Skip had given him Time Skip powers, for behind him stood an army. They all wore black, all wore eyeliner applied using the technique Dante-kun taught them in Episode 8.

'Surrender now, Enoby-san!' Dante's voice -- now seven octaves lower and positively demonic, thanks to The Time Skip -- roared across the city. 'Or face the wrath of The Black Parade!'

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Ebony Sue Way GASPED.

The Black Parade had shown up [AN: if you don't get that reference then get da fuq outta here!] and even with her infinite abilities, she felt powerless to defeat them. "ok fine ill surrender but only if the black parade becomes my harem."

Draco and Vampire GASPED, heartbroken that their hawt mistress was even considering other men.

"but enoby," Draco sed "what about me?"

Vampire Potter also piped up even though nobody fuckin asked "and-and me?"

Ebonony turned around, thinking cunningly. She new that the two bois were bicyclesexual so they could join in the harem as well. "wat if u guyz join. then wat?"

Since both of them were GAY AF of the homosexual persuasion, they gladly agreed to the terms.

 

[SecretRock]

Of course, Oni had broken out the facility in record time once she'd decided to leave. There was nothing the bullets could do to stop her and her angelic sword, though she purposefully avoided killing the guards b/c tho they were evil scientists who experimented on her, they were people and she'd sworn never to kill a person again. She soared through the halls, cutting bullets out of the air and flew out of the building, happy to stretch her wings. She flew around for a little while until her glwoing golden eyes landed on approaching army.

She swooped down, hovering over the group witht eh army she knew ere the good guys because they were handsome and beautiful and not from Harry Potter. She didn't touch the ground because walking is for people who can't fly. She watched the girl facing them surrender and talk her two boyfriends into doing the same. What a good idea by the people who defeated them. Looking around, she could tell these people were like her. She could even feel the energy of demons or angels coming from some of them.

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Dark Blade sensed Onii-chan's arrival before she even appeared because he was just that intelligent. "Konichiwa, Onii-chan." He greeted, also knowing of Oni's name because he was just that much of a smart kiddo. His years at both Cambridge and Oxford had served him well.

Just then, the Grim Reaper hopped in on it.
"It seems you've foiled this plan, ya edgy fooks." He merely swiped his scythe, banishing Ebony and her bois back to the underworld with cries of protest in goffick, and dooming the Black Parade to an eternity of community service in the afterlife.

"But you've only brought yourself even more pain." With a whirl of his scythe, a festering black cloud revolved around the group, teleporting them to a new, strange location.

Dark Blade balked - it was his homeworld. He had sworn never to return.

The Grim Reaper laughed, swirling himself out of the scene. "Welcome to hell, boys and girls! Enjoy your stay!." He faded into the mist.

 

[SolemnSongbird]

????? ?????

Solae rubbed their eyes, blinking a few times. They'd completely blanked out for a little while and now they were... they didn't even know. Where was that person that those weirdos that talked like bad fourth grade writing were fighting? Where was Solae even right now? Why did everything look so weird? Why did this place make him want to rip someone's spine out and shove it down their throat? These were only a few of the questions running through Solae's head at the moment. "Ok what the absolute fuck is going on right now." Solae muttered to himself, glancing around at the other weirdos. Solae took a moment to hop ahead in time to a different timeline and ask a version of them that knew what these weirdos names were what their names were before hopping back to their original timeline and just sort of standing there in a confused, somewhat angry stupor. They were the only relatively sane person here, weren't they?...​

 

[SecretRock]

Oni gasped as they were transported to a high school. She'd been there since she got amnesia, and it hasn't worked out the first time. Holding back tears at the atrocities she had committed (though they really weren't her fault at all. She couldn't control her demon half and the bullies really should have just liked her like everyone else did.). She repressed the memories so she could function like she normally did.

With another gasp, Oni saw it wasn't just a high school! It was full of demons too. She could sense their intense power and knew her new allies wouldn't stand a chance against them, because she knew their abilities as if she had known them for years. She raised her hand and summoned her sword, Solar Wing, and it's holy light shone over the demons, rendering them killable for her allies. All the normal, blocky students were amazed at Ono's powers.

"We must fight," she announced, as if that wasn't what they were already doing.