Realistic or Modern Life Beneath Dreams

[Jupiter]

"Yeah. Beautiful." Elmore laughed. "Sure."

Anyway, anyway, the plan for the day, and night, of course, which was already planned. It was likely they'd end up ordering pizza, or maybe making something cool like nachos or grilled cheese. Chef Elmore would kick up a mean grilled cheese. But of course, Jason asked a very important question.

"Food. Ah, well, I really can't be arsed to leave this place. Well, leave this place and go to an actual shop and spend like more than five minutes there. So I'm going to order some groceries to come. We don't get signal out here, of course, though, so what I'm planning is just a quick trip to the nearest gas station, pick up some greasy beef jerky and leech off the signal there so I can order some groceries to here. It's what my dad and I used to do." Elmore shrugged.

"So, I'm gonna do that in a bit, after everyones woken up, so that's just leaving Yab at the minute. I might just order without him to be honest. But I need you all to add to a shopping list, the things you want."

 

[DrTrollinski]

After getting a rather dirty (but not spiteful) look over his Britishcism from Jason, he actually got a response to what he was talking about. Meanwhile Jason had meandered around everyone and started making himself something to eat. Sausages, eggs, and bacon. Nice. He also poured himself a cup of coffee - one thing no one could argue was that Jason could at least cook, if he was good for nothing else. I mean, his dad was French and his mom lived there for years, too, so they taught him basic shit from the ground up. He could hold his own - just don't go asking him to make a lobster thermidor, or some ridiculous shit like that. He'd happily bake a pie or a cake or something, though. If there was one thing that he and his dad bonded over other than his forced instrument lessons and sudden pop-quiz 'I'm going to speak French to you for no reason and expect you to reply fluently' moments, baking shit around Christmas, birthdays, easter, thanksgiving... It was one of the nice moments they got. Not the most conventional, but hey. His dad wasn't the 'go hiking in the woods' type.

"I say fuck 'em." Jason said, "Yab can sleep until the late afternoon if he really wants - after sleeping all of yesterday afternoon and evening, it's safe to say it's a pretty gross habit that's clearly not gonna' shift any time soon - his loss. Plus, we know what shit he eats. Anything with a high fat and sugar content. And anything that has protein. You saw what he did at Joe's, for god's sake." He laughed a little. "We can just order without him and get the usual shit he'd like. Twinkies, candy bars, a lot of meat, and... Yeah. Snacks. Chips, fries... He can put in a bit of money for it and it should be all good. I hope." He shrugged.

Did he secretly judge Yab and make bogus assumptions? Sometimes, yes - But he wasn't harsh enough to bring up said assumptions. He may have had his ups and downs with Yab, but, he wasn't the sort who would go out of his way to cause trouble for him.

Not yet, anyway.

"As for me... Eh... I don't mind. Make sure you order a bag of ice, though." He shrugged.

"I know what I want. Johnnies and some lubricant and we're good to go, am I right?" Nolan clicked his fingers and pointed off at no one in particular.

"Expensive night with your right hand, bud." Jason muttered.

"It's all for you, babe." He winked.

"Uh-huh, right." He brushed that off. "Anyway, yup, I say go order. I'm pretty sure we've got enough money on us to cover it all - if we don't it's safe to say we're in trouble." He smirked. "And while you're off trying to deal with a grocery order, the rest of us can chill and hang out in the lake. We'll think of you." He smiled.

 

[Jupiter]

Elmore had picked up his phone and was currently writing items down that were pointed out by Jason. He had a rough idea of everything he was going to get anyway - he knew people's favourite foods, even Tate's old favourite, so he was pretty happy to make some meals out of those as well as, obviously, relying heavily on takeaways over these two weeks.

"I can't think of anything I want that's specific other than some Ben and Jerry's. Chocolate fudge brownie." Stella grinned. "And some Doritos. Lightly salted though."

"So nothing specific other than the specific items?" Elmore laughed, but wrote them down anyway. "Anything for you, Tate?"

"Uh... Nah. No preferences. Maybe something like a Nakd bar pack or some fruit." He shrugged.

"Fruit. Boring. We are here to become greased out of our eyes." Elmore rolled his eyes and then shut his phone off. "But. If that is what sir asks for, it's what sir gets."

"Oh, I like that."

"What, getting what you want?"

"No, being called sir." Tate wiggled his eyebrows and then let out a big laugh. "I'm kidding."

"Tate has a sir fetish!" Elmore grinned. "Oh, I know what I'm getting you, sir. I know. Right. I'm gonna go and order this stuff for us. I'll be like half an hour. Sitting in a gas station nearby if anyone needs me." He laughed, and picked up his car keys from the side before walking outside and to the car.

Well, at least that was sorted, and only Elmore had to leave. Tate was glad, because he was still struggling from last nights trip, in more ways than one.

 

[DrTrollinski]

"If the man wants some fruit, he gets some damn fruit." He pointed a spatula at Elmore, just as he was serving the bacon up onto his plate. The eggs followed shortly after and he carried his plate over to the island, sitting down nearby Tate and tucking in right away. He was surprisingly hungry after last night - he didn't quite understand why. He'd eaten a lot when he looked back on it. Maybe it was the journey that made him feel such a way.

"A sir fetish, though. That's interesting. Being in class must suck for you, huh?" He gently nudged his buddy and resumed eating shortly after. "We'll be seeing you, Elmore. Don't rush." He winked at him as he left, then he looked over everyone else that was around the island with him. "Now, this is nice. When was the last time we sat and had breakfast together, eh?" He asked. "If it wasn't at the store on the way to school, then it wasn't at all. Now here we are, and I'm still buzzing, you know that?" He grinned.

"I say now until lunch, we swim, we have some fun, blow up the old beachball and see how creative we can get with that, then start early with lunch. Y'know, have a shot of vodka to seal the two weeks in, just as long as Elmore's actually here with us by then. If not, I guess it'll have to wait." He said, simply. "But come on, who's down for that? You guys all have a bit of a backbone for daytime drinking, right?"

Jenna chuckled, "Count me in, I guess."

"Legend." Jason got a high five out of her.

 

[Jupiter]

Stella smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm in, obviously. I'm going to leave a note for Yab, though, because obviously he-"

"What note?" Yab suddenly appeared at the doorway, fully dressed and showered. Oh. Oh so here he was. "Good morning boys and girls."

Tate's heart sank. Great. He couldn't even enjoy half of his morning without Yab being there to ruin it. Tate forced a smile onto his face, however, and mumbled a good morning. Stella smiled also. "Good morning sleepy Yabetz. We were just talking about going to the lake and were going to leave you sleeping."

"Right." Yab nodded, glancing at the food. "Breakfast?"

He slapped his hands down on Tate's shoulders and gave him a shake before going over to what remained of the uncooked bacon and sausages, turning on the stove and beginning his own breakfast.

"We need to leave an hour after eating before we go to the lake." Stella smiled, finishing up her breakfast. "And we have to wait for Elmore anyway. What shall we do, meantime?"

"Mess about. There's a lot that can be done in an hour." Yab smirked.

 

[DrTrollinski]

"An hour? The rule's twenty minutes, isn't it?" Jason asked, "Eh, I don't know."

When Yab walked in and shook Tate around, though, Jason had that 'look' on his face. You know the one - The 'what the fuck' look. If there was a sound effect, it would probably be the growl of a lion. He was sure it was only out of friendliness, but, at the same time, was the shaking really necessary? The guy had been in hospital most the year, and you're gonna' take chances and be rough with him? Great idea. Maybe Jason was biased, though - he knew what had happened, and the others didn't. It wasn't exactly 'fair' of him to take it out on them if they knew no better, but at the same time...

Fucking dammit.

"Yab's right." Nolan nodded, "We can do a lot in an hour - otr twenty minutes - or the inbetween. Whatever you want." He shrugged.

"Go on..." Jason looked at him.

"Um, well..." Nolan went quiet. "Climb a tree or something." He chuckled.

"Did you bring a guitar?" Jenna asked.

"Yes..."

"Play us a song."

"Hah, no, I need a drink before I play anything to any of you. Sorry. I hate playing in front of people."

"You're telling me a guy as cocky as you doesn't like showing off?" Nolan asked.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you." He gave a half smile as he had a bite of toast.

And not long after, Will walked in. He was also showered and ready to go. Much to his displeasure he saw Nolan there. He knew Nolan for what he really was - Will was convinced about that much - so he sat down on the opposite side of Tate. That was him between himself and Jason now - did he believe Nolan would do anything to Jason or Tate? Not really. He wouldn't have the nerve to try and attack the two people that everyone liked. No one would turn a blind eye to that shit. If it was just him, though? Yup, people would turn a blind eye, and he knew it. Not Elmore, and Jason and Tate would probably have his back, but he doubted the girls would 100% do anything about it.

"Yup, I'm here." Will said, breaking the silence.

"We noticed." Nolan said, sipping his coffee.

 

[Jupiter]

"I can think of many things that can be done in twenty minutes, and climbing a tree isn't one of them." Yab smirked, and he shoved his sausages around to cook them.

"Oh, Jason. Play something for us later? I love hearing people play music. I'm hopeless myself." Stella grinned.

"Do you take requests, loverboy?" Yab grinned and leaned against a counter rather than be stood at the stove for every second of his cooking.

And then Will walked in.

"Another breakfast, coming right up." Yab threw in some more sausages and bacon, and brought some more eggs closer. They had finally reached the end of the breakfast items that they had bought last night. God, can you imagine how much money Elmore was going to be spending, knowing these eight teenagers appetites? Anyway.

"Morning." Tate mumbled, quietly, looking at Will with a small smile on his face.

"But anyway, anyway." Stella grinned. "After you two have had breakfast, while we wait for Elmore to get back - and yes, it is an hour."

"It's half an hour." Tate interjected. "You were both wrong. But it's not real. Blood going to the stomach and a lot of movement and things is said to cause cramps - it's unlikely. You don't have to wait."

"Alright, Einstein, slow down." Yab laughed.

"Just saying." Tate mumbled again, looking down at the counter.

"Okay, half an hour then. Well, we could just watch TV. Or unpack."

"Unpacking is probably a good idea. Have you brought all the bags in yet?" Yab grinned. "Losers."

"As if you have the energy to unpack. But no, we didn't have the keys for your car." She nodded to Jason.

 

[DrTrollinski]

"Loverboy? Eat my ass." He waved a hand. "If the ladies want a song, I guess I'm gonna' have to oblige at some point tonight. No singing, though - I don't sing. You could grab me by the balls and you still wouldn't have me mutter a single word in song." He said.

"I'll keep that in mind." Nolan said. "I'll have you singing like a Soprano if I know your weakness. You're done, kiddo."

"I don't have weaknesses, Nolan. Let's just clarify that."

"Sure you don't."

"Anyway, yes." Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out his keyring. It only had his house key and his car key on it, so, it wasn't hard to differentiate. He slid it across the island to Stella and smiled. "Shoulda' given me a knock and got me out of bed. I would have given you a key."

"Didn't really seem fair after you went out to the store after already driving for so long." Jenna said.

"Hm, I don't mind." He shrugged. "I do like driving, though I have to admit... I'm about ready to take a long break from it for a while." He chuckled. "Unpacking is a good plan, though. Probably best to get it out of the way, because I know if we don't do it this morning, I'm just gonna' be fishing through my suitcase for the next two weeks." He smirked. "Then after that, seeing as Tate has 'science, bitch'd' us out of the cramp business, we can all go for a swim and hope the more annoying of this group don't end up drowned. Actually, Nolan, did you ever actually learn to swim?" He grinned.

"I've been swimming since I was three, motherfucker. I'll swim circles around you."

There was one person who wasn't that strong of a swimmer - that was Will. He could swim just fine, but, he couldn't stay above water for more than a few minutes if he was out of his depth. He was a late learner when it came to all of that.

"Well, great." Jason nodded.

 

[Jupiter]

Tate could sing, but he wasn't going to just up and say that he would do it for Jason. Only Jason would be the person who knew that he could sing. Obviously he knew. I mean, they're bets friends, after all. But Tate wasn't going to sing. He wasn't ready to put himself out there like that. But, then again... You know. After a few alcoholic beverages, they would be able to maybe get him to do anything.

Anyway.

Stella smiled and took the key. "We'll go get that now. Your personal butlers thanks to Elmore's stupid antics. I'm not involved if he does any more bets with any of you." She laughed. "We'll go get the bags after Will's eaten. He was on the losing team after all, and Elmore isn't here to be the muscle that us girls so desperately lack." She joked. She wasn't serious.

Yab finished cooking the breakfast then, and plated up an equal amount for both him and Will, sliding him a plate and knife and fork.

"Someone should probably do the washing up." Tate mentioned. The amount of empty plates being left around were getting to him slightly. But he didn't want to do it. What sane person wanted to clean-

"Looks like that'll be me, then." Stella stood up and gathered up the empty plates and some of the pans, running the hot tap and grabbing some dish washing soap which seemed to have been left behind, but replaced rather recently. She didn't mention it. "I'll get these done, then we'll do the bags, Yab, when we're getting bags you can clean the dishes you and Will have created. And then... Unpack and swim! Exciting."

Rather exciting indeed.

 

[DrTrollinski]

Whether or not Jason could sing was a mystery. He was the sort of kid as he was growing up that would happily start a conversation with a random person, but in front of friends and family, he put reserves on things. Singing - even singing along to songs in the car - was something he rarely did. At a party after a few drinks he'd slur some words along to a song, or something, but that wasn't the same. He'd sing in his own company, but only along to songs that were playing on his phone or on Spotify. So, in truth? Even if there was a shred of talent in there, he wasn't going to be showing it. He hated performing. He hated playing instruments and practicing them so much, but, it became so much of a habit that he actually enjoyed it in a weird way. It was almost like a drug.

Around Tate he was chill, though, but like many people, the idea of singing was awkward, even around your best friend. I'm guessing Tate is a little more laid back in that respect after a few drinks.

I only ever sing in a nightclub, personally - at least that way no one can hear me.

Jason looked at Stella as she got off to do the dishes and simply shook his head, rising to his feet. He walked over to the sink, "Nah, nah, let me get that." He said, "You're going to be unloading the bags. This is the least I can do. I don't mind." He said. "Nolan, why don't you make yourself useful and go with them? You still need to move your stuff to your room."

"So you mean they ain't gonna' bellboy things for me?"

"No such luck, pal. We don't owe you shit." Jason said, "Go on. Show off those muscles you go on about so much."

He sighed and rose to his feet, finishing off his coffee and stretching his back. "Alright."

 

[Jupiter]

Stella smiled. "Well, if you insist, Jason. I was happy to do it, but honestly, you're right. If I'm getting the bags, it's only fair." She laughed, and stepped back, letting him take her place. She turned and looked at Jenna and at Will, and then at Nolan when it was announced that he was going to be helping them, for some reason. She shrugged her shoulders. "The more the merrier, seeing as we don't have Elmo. To be honest, I'm not even sure why we're sticking to the stupid bet when he isn't around."

"Because, he'll just know." Yab laughed. "He'd be able to smell it on you a mile away."

"True. True. He's like you with food. I'm convinced that's the only reason you're awake so early." Stella laughed.

"Me too, Stell." Yab went back to shovelling food into his mouth.

Stella put a hand on Will's shoulder and smiled. "Join us when you've finished, but don't rush!" She smiled, and then took Jason's keys and led the other two outside, Jenna and Nolan I mean. Once outside, she looked at the car.

But more than anything, the place.

God, she wished she could live out here. Living in an Italian household could be hectic and loud, and she wasn't the kind of person who wanted that. She just... Wanted to be free, to be able to do things without impossible standards, or to get away from the family that she had. Don't get me wrong, she loved her family, but... Ugh. They could be a handful.

"Right, so." She unlocked Jason's car and then nodded. "Here we go, then. All their bags."

In the car of Yab's was those backpacks of alcohol, a huge amount of, as well. He had a fake ID, too, so he could get some alcohol if they ended up running out. And of Tate's, obviously the few bags of alcohol, the clothes bag, and another mysterious bag that would be very, very heavy.

"Let's get started."

-

Inside the house, things were obviously different, and more relaxed. Jason doing the washing up, Yab scarfing down his food, along with Will, and Tate, sat, doing nothing. Was he hungry? Yes. But could he eat? No. Would he? No. Maybe he'd just get a drink. He stood up and went to the cupboard, grabbing a glass, and grabbed himself a glass of orange juice, in silence.

"No breakfast?" Yab raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure you could nab some off Will. Go on. Doubt he'll mind."

"I'm fine, thanks. That's Will's breakfast." Tate mumbled. "Besides, I'm not a breakfast person."

Or a lunch person. Or a dinner person.

 

[DrTrollinski]

One of them had to have a shady fake ID. May as well be Yab - fitting the stereotypes and all, woo!

Anyway, Jenna grabbed what she could. Nolan's bag was the easiest, all things considered. Refer back to the faulty post a few days ago - he has the little football thing hanging from the zip, and the bag's light as fuck. He didn't pack much, just enough for the two weeks they be here. He brought a lot of alcohol with him, too, but that was in a different back. Jenna just about managed that one. She put one on each shoulder and carried it over to the house, setting them both down inside the doorway - where Nolan was waiting, of course.

He smiled and took them from her, "Surprised you could handle those."

"Seeing as one's got a pair of underwear and two t-shirts, Nolan, it wasn't that hard."

"Now you're just being mean."

She winked and went back to help out with more bags. She got Jason's bags. He had fancier bags than what he used for school - Y'know, the proper designer travel bags, and all of that bullshit. Jenna was by no means materialistic, but... She knew her fancy stuff when she saw it. Plus, her family didn't exactly go without, as Stella already knew. But Stella was really the only one who knew that. The others hadn't really met her family - at least not for long enough to know what they were like.

 

[Jupiter]

Stella grabbed Yab's bag first, or several of them (she had to take two trips for the amount of alcohol) and left them by the door - their job was only to bring it inside, not upstairs and unpack it for them. She then went to go and grab Tate's bag, but as she went Tate appeared at the door.

"I'll help you get mine." He walked out and grabbed some of them, to him the ones he didn't want people to see into, and let her grab his clothes and alcohol bag. He walked with her up the steps, but once inside he took his things straight upstairs and to his room, coming back down for his second batch, and then Jason's next.

He just kept running up and down the stairs.

Exercising old behaviours, going back to his restrictions... If people could recognise it, Jason I mean, he would know he was doing something he shouldn't be. He wasn't allowed to use the stairs in the hospital, unless he had to.

Stella took her bags upstairs, but didn't come back down for anyone else's, obviously she let the others know that the bags were inside and gave Jason his key back after locking his car. Instead of coming back, she began to unpack her things into the large wardrobes that she and Jenna could share. She used the side closest to her own bed, unpacking with concentration, organising with extreme finesse.

Yab, however, continued to stuff his face, and once done dropped his plate into the water. "I'll wash it later."

And he went and collected the bags that contained alcohol from the floor that people had left behind for the kitchen, and took them in, putting them on the side ready to unpack the magical contents.

Upstairs, Stella, unpacking, and Tate, making another trip down the steps for good measure, in case anyone else needed help to bring things up, of course.

 

[DrTrollinski]

Jason raised an eyebrow at Yab, "Yeah, right. You sound like my little brother." He said, and immediately he started to wash the plate that Yab dumped in the sink, and simply enough, he wiped that other until it was clean, rinsed it off, and left it on the draining board. By the time he was done with that, he was just about to wash the plate Will brought over, but, Will stopped him.

"Nah, I'll get this one. Go unpack." He said, simply.

"Thanks, bud." He dried his hands off and slapped Will on the back. Gently, of course, and off he went to go upstairs - he obviously found Tate running up and down the stairs.

Up, and down.

Up, and down.

Up, and down.

And back up.

And everyone knows the old saying - stairs are a good workout.

Oh hell no.

Jason went upstairs behind Tate with his bags and followed him into the room, and he simply shut the door over behind him and stood by it. No. Tate wasn't going to go back down the stairs - not unless they were all going down there together to go outside. He didn't need to carry all these bags up that were probably much too heavy for him, anyway. One thing would lead to another, and he'd either pass out at the top of the stairs or he'd pull something out fo place and need a trip to the ER. That was the last thing they needed in a state where they had no proper health insurance.

"Tate." Jason said. He dropped his bags on the floor and quickly rubbed his face with both hands, releasing a long sigh. "Tate, I know what you're trying to do." He said.

 

[Jupiter]

Yab grabbed his bags and took them upstairs to unpack. It seemed everyone would be busy.

Elmore would probably unpack later, considering he'd driven off to go and get the delivery sorted out. He was going to suggest for the people to deliver by tonight, because he didn't want to rush it and have the people not bring something, and they could always go into town for lunch, considering he knew a place - and plus, who didn't love some greasy diner food. Now everyone was awake, at least.

But upstairs, amongst the packing, was a confrontation, in a way, and Tate turned to look at Jason, confused. "I don't know what you're talking about? I wasn't trying to do anything."

Denial, or did he not realise his own disordered behaviours?

He didn't realise the amount of freedom he'd been given, and I don't think anyone else did, either.

Tate was far from being weight restored, and if they'd seen the things he'd done in the hospital, the struggles, or even seen the things at home, like Jason probably had, they'd know it was going to be a while before he was back to himself again. He was still underweight, but he never felt like his body was going to give up, like he was going to collapse, like he did at school that time. He didn't feel like his heart could give up at any second anymore, he didn't need life support or a tube to give him the things he wouldn't have because he wasn't eating - he was eating.

Sometimes.

He needed to, a little more regularly, but he had to push himself to do that if no one else would.

To Tate, however, he thought he was better, because they'd let him go away. He was free. Of the hospital, but not of anorexia, holding onto him with big, black claws. It's personified as a girl that whispers in your ear, because it's a girls illness, and girls monsters aren't as ugly as boys. But Tate knew anorexia had the same face for everyone. The big, black monster that had its fingers dug into your back, cutting into your flesh 24/7, whispering, screaming for you not to eat. And Tate always heard it, and it got hard to not give in, sometimes.

The black monster would tighten its grip around his stomach, he'd throw everything he ate back up to release the pressure, feeling too big for his own skin.

The monster would crawl through his body and his brains, making him ache and give up and not fight, making him tired.

It would seize his mind and it would distort his image - skinny, yes, but not enough, not nearly enough. And why was eating worth it? He wasn't. He was worthless, the monster told him so. And it spread into his relationships with family, with friends, with nurses, made him spit black at them the same way as the monster did - they were the monsters words but they were feeding on the darkest thoughts, the most disordered thoughts tucked away for bed time when you can't sleep until you've weighed yourself, when you can't cope because everyone around you is eating and you can physically see the fat rippling on your own body just because you're near the food. The gorging and the grotesqueness of weight and the word gain itself striking fear into Tate's heart.

"I was just helping with the bags. I want to go to the lake sooner, rather than later."

 

[DrTrollinski]

"Tate." He said again, then looked up and met his eyes. "Look, I'm going to be straight with you - I know that there's the chance that some of the things you're doing... You might not realize you're doing it, and it might just be the... Unspeakable that's pulling your strings a little, I guess you could say." He said. "And the last thing I want is for that unspeakable thing to put you in a spot where... Well, I think you get the idea. Not here. Not now." He said. "And the way I see it, we're going to be doing a lot of drinking, a lot, and I don't want to wake up one morning and found you've died of alcohol poisoning, or some shit, because your body can't handle it or because there's... Nothing to soak the alcohol up, y'know?" He slid down the door and sat on the floor.

"Tate, I don't want to be on the list of people that tell you what to do, okay? Not me. Not like the doctors and nurses, not like your parents might do, not like everyone else who might... Fuss over you more than you need. I want you to have a choice here. But as your best friend, I think I've signed an unwritten contract to look out for you when I think something might be going south." He explained. "We agreed that if there was something wrong we wouldn't hide it - Even if this time you might not realize what might be happening, or... I don't know."

"I remember, okay?" He slapped the sides as he rose back up to his feet. "I remember and I don't want you to go through all of that again. Not so soon. You don't deserve it."

He took his first bag and carried it over to the chest of drawers closest to his bed, setting it down with a sigh.

He sat on his knees next to it and started to unload it all, putting things in their respective places. He'd packed some personal stuff as well, but, that was in another bag. Just little things to keep his heart in the right place, I guess.

"Will's probably going to wait for Elmore, so, we don't really need to rush." He whispered, moving a handful of shirts into one drawer.

 

[Jupiter]

Tate shook his head. There was one thing he said that hit him, and it made him really angry, honestly. But he just bit his tongue, stayed silent, eyes ahead, as he had many times when people had told him what was going on in his own head, or something that they thought they knew about his condition. The unspeakable.

It had a name.

"Yeah, I know we're going to be doing a lot of drinking, and eating, and I know that that is what teenagers do, that's just what happens when kids spend time together." Tate was doing his best to suppress his anger. It was going to come out later. A lot later. As in, tonight, there was going to be a big, unavoidable scene.

The truth comes out, and all that.

"Thanks for letting me know that somethings wrong with my behaviours." Something he said to the nurses on the ward when they scolded him. He never wanted a fight, so he always just... Submitted. "I'll keep an eye on it. I won't be a worry, trust me."

He picked up his own bag and opened his chest of drawers, unpacking his clothes into his bed. "Will can wait for Elmore. I can still go in the lake."

Drown.

You're so heavy you're going to drown.

Oh, you're going to be such a burden.

I hope you can't swim.

Don't listen to them - have fun. Have fun.

Drown.

Sometimes... Sometimes it was fine. But sometimes it was loud. And as always, he gritted his teeth and continued on.

Once he'd unpacked his clothes, he had a spare drawer, thankfully, so he opened his other, heavier bag. Inside were... Things. Fortisip, for one, went in the drawer, and what else? His tube, for emergencies, and his tube feed, with the calorie label ripped off, but he already knew. 2000.

 

[DrTrollinski]

"I'm glad you know." He said. "I'm very glad. You know and I know you know - I'm in your corner, man, no matter how fucking useless it might seem at times, I'm still there." He forcefully shoved some more clothes into the drawer, then opened another one seeing as he'd already put his shirts and whatnot in the one he closed.

There was still a lot for Tate to learn about Jason - and vice versa, I'm sure. The hospital fucks you up, and then for others, the world does the same job. It takes a special kind of love to hate the world as much as some people do, and to realize that not everyone around you is nothing more than a life-sucking monster that's only in it to win it. Jason continued shoving clothes in by the handful, not so much caring for folding them up anymore. He was sure there was an iron downstairs he could use tos straighten them out when it came to it. It's not like it was going to matter too much while they were here, anyway. Not like they'd be going out for elegant nights on the town, or anything like that.

He kept going. Socks, underwear, tank tops, shorts.

He put some swimming trunks aside. He'd get changed in a moment.

He kept going until his jeans and shorts were in the bottom drawer, and you know when something happens to disrupt something you're doing and it just makes you angry? Something like that happened. Some of the jeans were sticking out - only a corner of them, but, it obviously stopped the drawer from closing. He frowned and pulled it open and forcefully shut it again, same result. He closed his eyes and did it several times over, more or less rocking the whole dresser. Until finally he did the sensible thing and shoved the corner of the jeans inside, finally enabling him to get drawer closed. He reached into the bag with a wild intent, but, he stopped, and the slightly infuriated look changed.

It quickly made him go white as a sheet. He clutched the bag in a closed fist and got the swimming trunks in the other.

"I'll see you downstairs." He said, and he pulled a runner. He got out the room as quickly as he could and ran to the nearest bathroom that wasn't inside the bedroom. He locked the door behind him.

He couldn't believe he'd forgotten.

He needed a minute to breathe and forcefully pull at the hair on the top of his head. If things kept up like this, all of his secrets would be unveiled - all the things he didn't want his friend to know, he'd know, and that was the definition of a nightmare.

Play it cool, he thought, but his distaste with the dresser in the room was far from 'playing it cool'.

 

[Jupiter]

Tate just observed him, and was going to excuse himself to go, but Jason pulled a runner before he could leave himself. He didn't want to talk about it right now, anything to do with himself, and he didn't want to deal with Jason when he was like this. I know they're best friends and all, but not everyone wants to deal with things all the time, especially not seeing as Jason had pissed Tate off, not that he'd said anything.

He just finished unpacking, extremely neat, and then pulled out a pair of swimming trunks from his drawer that he'd put it in. He put them on the bed, shut the door again, and locked it. He looked over at the mirror in the room. Every room has a mirror, so we'll say this one does too.

And, looking in the mirror, he pulled his shirt over his head, and threw it down onto the floor, then pulled off his jeans. God.

He was disgusting.

He knew how skinny he was, but he'd put so much weight on, in his mind, that he was bigger than everyone else there. But in reality, his bones were still showing. He wasn't on the verge of death, but he was still so tiny, it was horrible to look at, in some ways. He knew it.

So he grabbed a different long sleeved shirt, a black one, from his drawer, and put that on instead, pulling on his swimming trunks. No one would be able to get him to take off his shirt in the lake, not a chance. And god, his legs... To him, he still felt like they were the largest things in the world, that he was a juggernaut, but... To everyone else, his knees and his legs... They looked like they'd snap if you blew on them.

But there was nothing he could do about that, and still go swimming. So he gulped down the fear and turned around. Breakfast. He still needed it. He couldn't let himself go out without it. So he opened his drawer, grabbed a fortisip, popped the lid and pulled out the straw.

He was going to be a good twenty minutes, struggling to get that down, this morning, door locked and all.

-

Elmore looked out of the window, after pressing send on the list of groceries. The woman in the gas station was staring at him, obviously waiting for him to come in and buy something, or pay, or get gas. He did look a bit shady having sat there on his phone for the last half an hour, but he didn't really... Well. He cared, so, he put his foot on the gas and drove away. He'd selected delivery between 4pm to 5pm, so someone would have to be in the house for that to happen.

Ah, well. Someone would be in.

On the drive back, driving the way he came, he passed a group of boys, and two girls. His age, sat by the side of the road, smoking and leaning back, taking in the sun of the day. Summer vacation just starting for them too. They were laughing. Elmore smiled. He'd probably be doing just the same thing in about an hour, at the lake. On the way back he came.

 

[DrTrollinski]

Jenna had gotten changed into a bikini - it was a sunny day out, and a chance to get a tan wasn't going to be passed up. It looked freshing out there, that was for sure, but she wasn't just going to casually walk about in her bikini. Not today, anyway - her modesty was still pretty high, so she went out in a bathrobe and sat down on one of the recliners. She figured she could give it a while before she actually went in. It'd be nice to have a swim with someone else there, too. She wasn't going to be the first one in, that much she knew. She was just going to chill outside for a while. Soak up the sun. Obviously she took the bath robe off now that she was out there.

Honestly, if it was just the trusted circle of guys and girls - Stella, Elmore, Tate, and Jason... She wouldn't bother with the robe. But she knew what Nolan could be like, and it wasn't that she found Will creepy in any way, it was just one of those things. It was mainly Nolan, though - he was the one most likely to make a comment or be caught staring at her from across the yard. Or discreetly taking pictures.

Okay, that's a bit of a push, but still.

Meanwhile, Jason finally emerged from the bathroom - he poked his head out first, then had a look around, then wiped his mouth down and snuck out of there with the bag in tow.

He couldn't take it back to the room. No. It had to be somewhere only he knew, and... The car, of course.

He quickly made his way out the front door (he got changed while he was in the bathroom, at least) and unlocked it. He shoved the bag under the driver's seat. Each morning he'd just come out here alone and get what he needed, simple as that. As long as no one found it here, he didn't care. How exactly would they find it, anyway? Unless they went into the car literally knowing something was hidden there, who would think to check under the seat?

Even more so, who would actually have the nerve to look in the bag, even if they did find it?

It was the perfect spot.

 

[Jupiter]

Tate sat with his hands shaking.

There was usually someone watching him do this. Making him do it. Making him eat, or drink. And he thought he was strong enough to do it, but right now he couldn't be. And his hands kept shaking, and his grip tightened, and finally he stood up and walked to the door, listening for footsteps. No one, until someone he recognised as Jason (you can tell based on footstep weight, and it was a fact that Tate knew everyone's weights and the footsteps that should come of it, especially Jason's). So he turned and went into the bathroom of theirs. The door was locked anyway.

The fortisip was emptied down the sink.

He looked up into the mirror, and saw him again. The monster, in the back. He was holding onto Tate's bag, a proud grin on it's gaunt face. It was Tate, but from the inside... It was anorexia.

He ran the tap and washed away the fortisip, telling himself he'd just get something to eat later, and he pushed the fortisip to the side, not putting it in the bin, as directed, by the black creature. Why? Because Jason wouldn't ask questions about an empty fortisip at breakfast time, even if Tate had emptied it down the drain. How would he know?

Tate stepped back and ran a hand through his hair, then over his eyes, rubbing them. His entire body ached, the monster was holding on tightly. Telling him that the cake he had...

It was poisoning him. It had to be.

-

Stella exited the room soon after Jenna did, bikini on, bathrobe over it, the same as her best friend. She went down to join Jenna, outside, and Yab followed suit, but didn't sit on a recliner, instead sat down on the floor looking out over the view. They were probably a five minute walk away from the lake, but they could still catch rays on the back of the house, and the view... Well, it was spectacular, Yab couldn't help himself.

Stella stayed in her bathroom as she sat down. "So, are we excited?" She grinned.

"For what?"

"The day, dumbass."

"I'm excited to get drunk." Yab turned around and looked at them both. "And to eat until I am physically sick."

He was the exact opposite of Tate. Everything Tate despised. No wonder Tate hated him.

-

Elmore pulled up just after Jason got in the car, and was quick to hop out, a grin on his face. He was happy. Most people were, I think, aside from the doomed few.

Anyway, he, happy and unaffected by anything malicious, or so it may seem to the outside eye, and even to him, unless you go deep enough (as can be said with anyone), walked over to Jason's car, and knocked on the window, a grin on his face.

If you want Elmore to know his secrets, that's also up to you.

But remember this: Elmore was a secret holder. He was everyone's best friend, and for good reason.

"Hey bud!" He grinned, and looked at the panicked expression on his face, that must be there, for sure, and then looked at the bag he was stuffing under the seat. "Woah, hiding contraband, but from who? We all have contraband, buddy ole' pal? Whatcha got, or should I keep my nose out?" He smiled, but a genuine one. One that said - trust me.

 

[DrTrollinski]

"Very excited." Jenna smiled, "Are we waiting for everyone or are we walking ahead and getting started?" She asked.

--

Oh, shit. Busted.

He pulled out of the car immediately and slammed the door shut - he pressed the button on his keys and locked it.

"Nothing." He said, quickly. His hair that was once in its natural position and nice and tidy now looked as though someone had tried to rip it out with their bare hands. It was all over the place. There was the immediate look of panic and stress in his face when Elmore started talking, and he just shook his head.

"Look, Elmore..." He held up both his hands and looked at the floor. "I have worked very, very hard to be able to come here." He said. "And I'm going to be completely honest... I don't want us to talk about this. I don't want either of us to even know that this interaction happened. As far as we're concerned, we didn't bump into each other. I wasn't even out here when you got back, alright?" He asked, looking back up at him.

"In other words, we can keep this between you and me. Right?" He asked. "I don't want to talk about it, there's... There's not anything to talk about, honestly."

He wasn't saying it in a spiteful manner - but this was still very out of character for Jason. He was suddenly being so secretive and jumpy. Worked very hard to come here? What would have been stopping him? All big questions that Elmore could ponder on, I'm sure.

 

[Jupiter]

"I think... We should wait. God knows if Elmore wants us to go to this lake or he's got some planned half way over town. I doubt it, but to be sure. Stay put. I can't imagine people will be very long, anyway." Stella smiled. "And besides... we should all experience it together."

"That's so lame." Yab mumbled.

"Like you, then."

"That's like a fifth grade insult."

"You're a fifth grade insult."

"Christ."

-

Elmore jumped back slightly. "Uh..." He thought it over. Jason looked panicked, and everyone saw what had happened to him when Tate went into hospital - now he was out it seemed like it could be different, but, was it? How much different could things get?

I mean, almost everyone knew that Tate probably wasn't ready to come out of hospital yet. You only had to look at him.

"Nothing to talk about?" Elmore raised his eyebrows. He could press... But... It was none of his business. "I don't even know what you're talking about. Psh." He put his hand on his shoulder. "Groceries are ordered. Time to party." He grinned. "Gonna go get changed into my suit, meet me out back, on the deck!"

He jogged off, but as he got to the door, he turned back. "If it's dangerous, or illegal... Tell me. Better me knowing than Yab. Or tell Tate. You're best friends."

He turned back again and walked inside, going to go and get changed.

-

Tate was hyperventilating in the bathroom. The cake was poisoning him. He'd die. He was going to get fat and die, in minutes.

That's how irrational these things could be.

He gripped the sink and squeezed his eyes shut, the black monster tightening his grip.

In, out, breathe in, out...

He adjusted his shirt and walked out of the room, running, or attempting to, away from the monster, still hyperventilating. Okay. Okay. Find Jason. Find someone. Find someone. Find someone who knows.

He ran straight down the stairs, still hyperventilating, and came to a stop at the bottom, just frozen, completely, before running into the bathroom. Wash out his system. That would help. Wash it out. He ran to the tap and turned it on, tilting his head so his mouth was under it - gulping the water down. He was sweating from the pressure, the monster squeezing. Or was that just the pain of hunger?

God, he needed to eat something.

No he didn't, he had cake last night.

"Jason. Jason." He called out.

He just needed a tiny bit of motivation, and, well, it's up to you if Jason, or someone else, heard him.

 

[DrTrollinski]

Jason looked at Elmore. No bad thoughts. No bad thoughts. No bad thoughts.

"Yeah." He nodded at what he said, sighing. That could have meant many different things - he avoided it. He didn't want to tell anyone about anything. He just watched Elmore walk back in and took a minute to have a breather himself. Things were okay. Things would be fine. He looked at the window of his car and straightened his hair out - he was okay. This two weeks was going to be perfect and everything was going to be okay. Everything would be just fine.

Okay.

He rose up from where he was and simply went back inside, right in time to hear Tate holler out for him. What was going on? All he knew was that he didn't like the sound of it, so, he immediately went back inside.

He went straight to the bathroom door he heard Tate calling out from behind.

Oh, no...

Not now. Not like this.

He reached out and knocked on the door, "Tate?" He called out. "Buddy, you okay?" He asked.

Play it cool. It's all fine. It's all okay.

 

[Jupiter]

Tate, inside the bathroom, heard Jason outside, and he opened the door and pulled Jason in, shutting and locking it for some privacy. The tap was still running, but there wasn't chunks of vomit in the sink being washed down, there was no strain to his voice, no red fingers, but there were tears in his eyes.

Point was, he hadn't thrown up.

And the first thing he did when Jason was in there was just go in for a hug, straight away, clinging to him.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, sniffling. He was like a child. He weighed the same as one.

There was no vomit smell, what was Tate apologising for?

"I poured away my fortisip because I didn't want to eat breakfast - and I want to eat breakfast now because I don't want to let myself not and- and - I don't want to let you down and I want to have a good time but I've never had to tell myself to eat before because - because they always make me so I know when to do it but I've never not been told and it wants me not to." It being the black monster.

"It's telling me not to eat and I want to listen but I also don't want to listen because I want to be stronger than that and - and it's all just new and I'm not used to freedom can - can- can..." He took a deep breath and pulled away from him finally. "It's so stupid but I need you to tell me to eat something to- to make me feel like- like it's okay to. He's loud. He doesn't want me to."

Who's loud?

Jason will have heard Tate refer to 'he' and 'it' before, anorexia, the black monster, in texts and in late night phone calls, or visits.

"I just need- Need some validation from... Make it okay... To eat... And, be normal..." He mumbled. "I want to listen to you, not it."