Realistic or Modern → 𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙖𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨

[weldherwings]

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suicide | drug and alcohol use | graphic medical conditions | swearing
self harm | anxiety | depression | 18+ themes

This fictional story covers several difficult issues, including depression and suicide. If you or anyone you know need help finding support and crisis resources in your area, click here to a list of suicide crisis hotlines for more information

In South Korea, suicide is the number one cause of death among Koreans aged 10 to 39. Despite the prevalence of mental illness, social stigma remains prevalent throughout the population which discourages sufferers from seeking treatment. A group of misfits are forced to attend in-patient group therapy as a part of a new state-funded mental health services support, all whom have either tried to commit suicide recently, have been admitted into hospitals for suicidal and depressive tendencies or have been referred by doctors. After a couple of weeks, the group begins to form a bond outside of their sessions. They meet up for dinner afterwards and one of the misfits proposes a pact – that in 100 days from now, they will all commit suicide together.

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[/DIV]
[div class=tag]NAME[/div] Hwang Jae-Beom
[div class=tag]ALSO KNOWN AS[/div] JB
[div class=tag]AGE[/div] 29
[div class=tag]AILMENTS[/div] Necrosis and arthritis in left hand/wrist due to a car crash, clinical depression and pain medication addiction

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[/DIV]
[div class=tag]NAME[/div] Astrid Rose Dunmore
[div class=tag]ALSO KNOWN AS[/div] As
[div class=tag]AGE[/div] 23
[div class=tag]AILMENTS[/div] Major depressive disorder, generalised anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder.

[div class=imageoverlay]

[/DIV]
[div class=tag]NAME[/div] Kim Yuto
[div class=tag]ALSO KNOWN AS[/div] Yuto / Yu-ie
[div class=tag]AGE[/div] 25
[div class=tag]AILMENTS[/div] Bipolar Disorder and substance abuse (Alcohol and drugs)

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[/DIV]
[div class=tag]NAME[/div] Kang Aera
[div class=tag]ALSO KNOWN AS[/div] Aera
[div class=tag]AGE[/div] 24
[div class=tag]AILMENTS[/div] She has no diagnosed ailments, but has a tendency to be compulsive and careless.

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[/DIV]
[div class=tag]NAME[/div] Hwang Ki-Tae
[div class=tag]ALSO KNOWN AS[/div] Gae (Dog)
[div class=tag]AGE[/div] 34
[div class=tag]AILMENTS[/div] Has been in a coma for two years due to the car crash which caused JB's hand ailments







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If you have questions for us or about our iconic duo, feel free to ask us via pm or discord!

[div class=tag]WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION FOR THIS STORY?[/div] Honestly, James Lee (JB’s face claim). If you haven’t heard of him, give him a google. He used to be in a Kpop band named Royal Pirates as the bassist but after a freak accident, he lost the ability to play bass. He struggled so much and spiralled into deep depression. Every day is an ongoing battle but he’s still getting out there, releasing solo projects and being completely transparent about his journey.

[div class=tag]WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT JB AND AS?[/div] I looooove the fact they’re of different ethnicities, have a huuuuge height difference and they’re six years apart. They’re completely opposite appearance-wise, but share the same connections on the inside.

[div class=tag]WHEN YOU’RE WRITING AN EMOTIONALLY DRAINING (OR SEXY, OR SAD, ETC) SCENE, HOW DO YOU GET INTO THE MOOD?[/div] For JB, I watch interviews with James Lee or listen to James Lee’s songs. The title of this roleplay is actually from one of his songs called “Let’s Get Away”. If that doesn’t get me into a mood, generally researching mental health in Korean culture helps. .

[div class=tag]HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER IN THREE WORDS?[/div] Considerate, emotional, giant.

[div class=tag]WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION FOR THIS STORY?[/div] I'd have to say a mixture of things. Definitely the biggest inspiration is James Lee and his story! We've incorporated a huge amount of his true story into this one, which I honestly love. Another inspiration for me is honestly nursing school and the things I've seen in the hospital. A lot of mental health stuff, for sure. I think learning about all of that has helped me write a lot of who Astrid is and what she goes through.

[div class=tag]WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT JB AND AS?[/div] They're hilarious drunks together. And I adore how different they are! Both physically (um, hello 25cm height difference) and character-wise. It's really cool to see how they mesh and I'm stoked to see their relationship develop throughout the story.

[div class=tag]WHEN YOU’RE WRITING AN EMOTIONALLY DRAINING (OR SEXY, OR SAD, ETC) SCENE, HOW DO YOU GET INTO THE MOOD?[/div] Deeeeefinitely through music. If it's sad, I put on my super mellow, super depressing playlist and off I write! If it's a funny or even sexy scene, a good, upbeat playlist is my go-to.

[div class=tag]HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER IN THREE WORDS?[/div] Affectionate, rebellious, sarcastic.



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[weldherwings]

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14th june 2018
100 days left
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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]interacts[/div] n/a.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] It had been 110 days since he died. And 110 days of wanting to die once again.

So many people claim that they see a light when they die. That they see God or they see visions of hell. For Jae-Beom, he didn’t see heaven or hell. There was no light at the end of some tunnel. Instead… he felt nothing. It was just… a void of… nothingness. No smells. No sounds. No thoughts. No feelings. You just simply exist in this peaceful bubble. Completely weightless. In this… perfect nothingness. All stress. All worries. All nightmares. All troubles. Just slip past your fingertips and you’re left with a sense of peace and belonging. He had never felt such peace before in his life. He wanted to stay there for the rest of his life.

But within seconds, he had been ripped away from that perfect little bubble. The void of nothing was gone and instead the sounds of doctors barking instructions to the nurses and beeping machines pierced his ears. The sound of his mother crying in the background and the feeling of someone pressing against his chest, putting pressure down as they performed compressions. And then that first breath. That gasp. He hated the sound of that gasp. It meant that he was back on this Earth and not in that bubble. And in full honesty, it hurt much more to come back to Earth than it was to just let everything go. Pain surged through his body as he was thrown back into this world and anger soon followed through. How dare they bring him back. He wanted to go. He had decided to take that bottle of pills for a reason.

That was the beginning of his recovery period. After being brought back from death and having his stomach pumped, his parents made the decision to admit him into a mental hospital under the watchful eyes of some very important doctors. He spent three months there. Three months of not being able to take his pain medication to help with the soul-crushing pain in his damaged wrist. Three months of staying in the same room and just staring at the blank, empty white walls. Three months of having no contact from the outside world. And each day, it drew him into a deeper depression. Being in the hospital just made him crave for the sweet release of death.

He somehow managed to convince the doctors and nurses that he was getting better. And after three months, he was placed onto a probation period. JB was given the chance to go back to his normal life under the conditions that he attended group therapy sessions four times a week and he had a probation officer come to his apartment three times a week to ensure that he didn’t have any items in the house that would allow him to cause any bodily harm to himself. This included all his knives, razors, pain killers, or anything you could off yourself with. They even told the landlord to cut him off from his gas supply which meant he had to eat out a lot of the time.

Which was why when Yuto from his support group asked if he wanted to join the group for dinner today, he saw it as a blessing. He had been spending way too much time eating out by himself. Now he finally had the chance to have some dinner with actual people. Not just any people – people who actually got him and understood how he felt and where he came from. People who wouldn’t judge him for his actions he took 110 days ago. So, he followed the group as they entered into the large outdoor Korean BBQ restaurant and took the first seat that he was offered. Letting out a heavy sigh, he placed his hands into his lap and gazed down to look as his right hand began to fidget with the black kinesiology tape he had applied this morning on his left wrist. The pain was back again this morning, He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to cope with the pain any longer.

Another heavy sigh fell from his lips before he gazed up to see a glass before him. Taking hold of the jug of water with his right hand, he poured it out into the glass before taking a sip of the refreshingly cold water. His dark eyes gazed around, watching as those who were apart of their group session began to file in and take their spots. Well, tonight was sure going to be interesting. [/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

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[div class=tag]mood

"do i really have to do this?"
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
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astrid dunmore

Astrid was tired. Of everything, it seemed. The hospital, the nurses, the patients, the doctors. The endless routines. The medication. The never ending concern and suspicious glances. They all thought she was going to try to kill herself if they so much as looked away for a split second. It was insufferable and As hated it more than anything. All she wanted was the freedom of being discharged from the hospital, where she could finally try to go about her life like a normal person. But who was she kidding? She wasn't normal. She was depressed as fuck. There was nothing left out there for her, not that she would ever tell the nurses or doctors that. It hadn't taken her long to figure out that if everyone believed she was fine, she would be able to get the hell out. Now that was all she strived for.

Though there wasn't much good when it came to being stuck in a hospital, the rehab group Astrid had been stuck in was surprisingly decent. The people in it made her feel a little more understood and a little less judged. No one looked at her like she was going to commit suicide any second. It was refreshing, even if everything that had happened to put her here in the first place remained a fresh wound.

The group of them had decided to go out for dinner this evening, meaning Astrid had an excuse to get out of her boring ass hospital room. Those passes she got from the psych unit were her lifelines and the only things keeping her from going truly insane. Though she knew she didn't get many because she was a relatively newer psychiatric patient, the few she did get were opportunities she wouldn't throw away. Now, as she and the other patients entered the Korean restaurant to enjoy a nice meal out with each other, As couldn't help but suddenly feel shy about where she should sit. She might have been decent friends with all of the people here, but she wasn't comfortable enough around any of them to truly call them friends.

Astrid bit down on her bottom lip as she glanced around the table, the others filing into their seats around her as she stood still for a moment, simply trying to figure out where she should sit. It wasn't long before most of her group had sat down, so she shyly rushed to slide into a seat next to one of the guys. As was fairly certain his name was something along the lines of JB, but she never paid much attention during their sessions, so couldn't be completely certain.

Sinking into her seat, the dark haired girl let out a soft sigh, setting her purse down on the back of the chair before straightening once more and reaching out to pour herself a glass of water. She took a sip, then placed her glass down and sat back in her seat. She was unsure of what to say to anyone, so remained quiet for the time being, hoping someone else would begin conversation amongst the group.

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coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] this is why you're not allowed out of the house
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] JB’s dark eyes gazed around the table, watching as the others began to talk to each other. A small sigh of relief fell from his lips as he raised his glass to take another sip. Sure, he had been glad that he was finally eating out with people for dinner for the first time in… well, years. But he was an introvert. He knew that as soon as this little get together was over, that his energy would be zapped, and he’d want to try and sleep it off for the next three or so months. There was only so much socialising he could do and with the combination of the support group and this little outing, he was probably good for the rest of the year. I mean, hanging out with people one on one was great. But the thought of constantly hanging out in a big group. Ugh. It made him so unsettled.

Even during the support groups, he tried to keep to the bare minimum. As far as these people knew, his name was Hwang JB and he had been admitted into the psych ward for three months and was on his way as an outpatient. He had been there for two weeks and they were yet to really ask him any serious questions about his mental health. But did it need to be spoken out loud? All of them were there for the same reason; they didn’t want to be on this Earth anymore. I mean, there were those who had such self-destructive lives; like Yuto, for example. He had been arrested multiple times for drink driving and very openly spoke about doing drugs and how he wanted to get more tattoos. But then you also had those characters like Charlie who was a recovering anorexic model and had thought about jumping in front of cars. One way or another, each one of them had thought that their lives were no longer worth living and the best thing to do was to just end it all. And no one had to verbalise it. Their presence in the group screamed that fact.

JB had been so deep in his thoughts that he barely realised the girl who came to sit next to him. It was only when he saw her arm reach over for the jug that his brain actually connected the dots. Trying not to seem so obvious, his dark eyes gazed over at the girl’s face to figure out who it was. Well shit. It was that white girl. The one whose name he always struggled to pronounce. She really needed a nick name or a Korean name. Awkwardly, he brought his gaze back to in front of himself, taking another sip of water from his cup only to realise that it was now completely empty. Pressing his lips together, he placed the glass back down onto the table before reaching for the jug once more with the same hand. Oh, how he wished he could’ve used his left one for the simplest of chores like this. Alas, his thumb and pinky finger were no longer able to move and therefore, were made useless in these types of situations.

He steadied the balance of the jug in his hands, focusing on the weight in it as he began to pour into his cup with the one hand. And well, crap. The water came forward quicker than expected and began to pour all over the table. “Shit,” he cursed, quickly lifting it upright once more as his eyes began to drift around to see if there were any napkins nearby. Once he locked in the target of the napkins, he turned to the female next to him. “Could you pass me some napkins, please?” he asked her politely, nodding his head in the direction of the mess he had just created. Great.

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

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[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"there's another clumsy fuck at this table besides me"
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

These kinds of events never failed to make Astrid feel horribly out of place. And it wasn't just the fact that she wasn't a born South Korean either. It was mostly that, even in a group of people who were fucked up in all kinds of ways, almost everyone seemed to be holding decent conversation. Except for her. And the guy beside her, she soon realized. But she wasn't sure what to say to him, so she simply sat quiet, sipping the cool water from her glass. As' eyes flickered around the group, glancing from face to face as she tried to remember each of their names. It was difficult to do, considering she had been so anxious the first few times she'd heard their names that she couldn't remember any of them. Besides that, she really only shared just enough in their therapy sessions to pass the counsellors' expectations. Doing anything more was simply not something she was interested in doing.

Before those thoughts could venture any further, the sound of water spilling over the table and a muttered curse met Astrid's ears. Widening her eyes, she realized that the boy beside her, JB, had spilled water everywhere while trying to pour some in his glass. Then he turned to her, politely asking for several napkins to clean up the mess he had accidentally made. Pressing her lips into a thin line, As quickly nodded, reaching across for some napkins before handing him the majority of the stack. She kept some for herself, however, so she could help him dab up the liquid.

Normal people would have chosen this opportunity to start conversation with the man, but Astrid couldn't think of anything to say for the life of her. So she awkwardly helped JB clean up the water without muttering a single word, anxious thoughts riddling her mind. What if he thought she was weird for not saying anything? What if someone else was watching and wound up thinking the same thing?

Thought after thought raced through Astrid's mind as she cleaned, but she merely bit down on her bottom lip hard in an attempt to get the ridiculous anxiety under control. Now was not the time to have an anxiety attack because she was a little socially awkward.

Once the mess before them was cleaned up, the girl bunched the dirty napkins into a pile and let them sit on the table, figuring a waiter would come by and grab them shortly. Swallowing thickly, she snuck a small glance at JB, then quickly looked away again and took a sip of water to distract herself. Should she say something to him? Probably. But what would she say? Absolutely nothing came to mind, leaving the dark haired girl sitting in awkward silence as everyone around them conversed with an ease Astrid wished she could have.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] yeah just kill me now
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] As Astrid handed over the napkins, JB bowed his head while muttering a thank you to her. Damn, why the hell did he have to be so damn awkward? Spilling the water everywhere and now feeling like his face was on complete fire just for thanking the female for the napkins. He noted that she had a handful still in her own hands and before he could ask her any questions about it, she was starting to dab the water off the table also. A small smile formed on his face, quickly glancing at her as if the smile was a way of thanking her before focusing back at the task at hand. He continued to dab the water with the napkin, hoping it would soak it all up. Finally, as they used up all the napkins, it seemed as if they managed to get most of the water. Seeing the pile of used napkins, JB reached over and placed his own used ones on top.

And with that, let out a content sigh and leant back in his chair. His eyes flickered around the table to glance at everyone who seemed to be deep in conversation. Of course, the ones who shared the most were the ones that were talking the most with the people around them. JB glanced at the girl next to him from the corner of his eye. He knew that she wasn’t one of those people. Sometimes during session, you prayed that the therapist would ask Yuto or Chen a question because they would go off on tangents for hours if they could. And it meant that you could just sit back, relax, and allow them to eat the time away and not have to share anything yourself. It was the perfect disguise.

But something that was sticking in the back of his mind that was really annoying him was… well, the female’s name. He knew that it was Astrid. He had heard it a thousand times when they had to go around and introduce themselves. He had also seen it a thousand times on her name badge during the sessions. His main issue was, though… was pronouncing it. Astrid. It had a shh sound which, well, wasn’t the greatest sound for a Korean to try and make. If anything, it generally came out like a ‘d’ sound for JB. And he couldn’t be calling her that. Adrid. That would be rude and weird. And well, wouldn’t this be a perfect excuse to start a conversation? Actually act like a normal human being for once.

Slowly, JB turned to the female and began to speak to grab her attention. “Excuse me…” he said cautiously to her in a rather small, unconfident voice. “I uh… I was just wondering… I know that, you know, you’ve shared your name every time during the sessions but… I’m sorry if this is rude but… How uh… How do you actually say it?” He scrunched his face slightly, hoping that he hadn’t of offended her. I mean, she wasn’t Korean and maybe asking someone from their culture how to say their name properly was considered rude? You never know these days.

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

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[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"wait... he actually wants to talk to me?"
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

Astrid had been positive JB would simply give her a quiet 'thanks' and then move on to converse with someone else. Everyone in this group knew she wasn't very talkative. Sure, she wasn't mute, but she never said much more than she had to when it came to therapy sessions or group outings. Tonight was absolutely no different. Part of it was because she merely felt that she didn't have anything to contribute (she could thank her social anxiety for that one), but another larger part of her just didn't care enough. Why should she bother trying to make an effort with people when it wasn't going to matter anyways? One way or another, she was going to remain alone and that was that. Talking to people wouldn't change that. At least, that was what her mind had convinced her of.

But JB seemed to have other plans and Astrid was admittedly taken aback when he turned to face her a little better and spoke up. She glanced up at him with a rather surprised expression on her features, though it soon faded into a small, shy smile. It seemed he was just as unconfident in this conversation as she was, which somehow made As feel better about the whole thing.

"It's okay," the girl spoke softly, doing her best to keep eye contact despite her anxiety crawling back to make her desperate to look away. "You pronounce it like Astrid." Oh she knew it wasn't a Korean name in the slightest. In fact, JB wasn't the first person who had genuinely struggled to pronounce it.

Growing up in San Diego had been so much different than living her teenage and early adult years in Seoul. Although it had become her home and she was fluent in the language and traditions that surrounded her, Astrid knew she stood out. She was the white girl, the foreigner. Of course there were plenty of them around, but she couldn't help feeling... awkward about it. Maybe it was her anxiety or maybe it was a genuine worry, but As didn't like standing out so much. At least she knew Korean, which often took many by surprise when she spoke it. It was funny seeing how many people couldn't believe she could be so fluent. But what did they expect? She had lived here for ten years now. Learning the language had been a requirement. And, well, an expected outcome.

Astrid forced the thoughts from her mind when she realized how far they had gone, her gaze having fallen to the table top before her. It suddenly hit her that she must have let an awkward silence settle between the two of them, so she quickly glanced upwards at JB once more, her cheeks flushed pink. "Uh, you're JB, right?

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] yeah wow. i love human brain glitches.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] JB let out a slight sigh of relief as the female next to him informed him that it was okay that he couldn’t pronounce her name. Well, thank God for that. As she did begin to teach him how to pronounce it, he slowly nodded, trying to process what she had just said. “Aseuteulideu…” he repeated softly under his breath before frowning at himself. Oh hell no. He was still struggling with it. Why the heck did she have to have such a freaking hard name. She could’ve at least make up a new name for the sake of those living in Korea. Instead, she decided to keep the name that make him sound like some uncultured swine whenever he had to even mutter it out loud. Dammit.

The boy had been so busy in his own head that he barely even realise that Astrid was trailing away in her own thoughts. I suppose that was something that they could both share. Drifting into their thoughts. His therapist had informed him that one of the depressive traits he harboured was the inability to concentrate and to just… drift off with the fairies as he put it. Well, it was the truth. He’d rather daydream of a place or about a time where he was truly happy than stay in a moment where he was upset or feeling insecure. So, the silence between the pair was welcomed as it gave him time to reflect on Astrid’s name and try and figure out ways he could say it without sounding like some racist Asian character from a famous American comedy skit show.

Hearing her voice once again, the boy was dragged from his thoughts. He brought his attention back to her, his eyes wide with a slightly shocked complexion on his face. What did she say? Oh man, he wanted to knock himself out for being so stupid to not listening and to drift away. What was it? What was it? Oh! Name! She was asking if his name was JB “Oh… yeah.” He nodded, nervously grasping the glass of water in his hands. “I uh… we haven’t really… been introduced from you know… outside of the circle, have we?” JB chuckled under his breath, feeling his cheeks warm up. Was it the weather or the fact that he felt embarrassed while talking to this girl? He really didn’t want his mind drifting off and thinking about it if we were being completely honest.

“Good evening,” JB politely said to Astrid, bowing his head as he begun his formal introduction to her. “My name is Hwang Jae-Beom but feel free to call me JB.” The boy lightly bit down on his lower lip as his dark eyes gazed back up at the female’s face. “I’m… still new to the group. Been going for two weeks but uhh… I think… some of these guys have been going for a while…” his voice trailed off, gazing over to Yuto who was getting chummy and laughing until his face turned red. JB silently began to wonder just how long Yuto had been attending these group sessions. He seemed to get along with everyone and knew everyone’s business. Okay, no, he couldn’t daydream again. That was just plain rude. Instead, he brought his gaze back to the female next to him, giving her a soft small smile of reassurance.

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

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[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"already on a nickname basis now, are we?"
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

The smallest of smiles touched Astrid's lips as JB quietly tried to pronounce her name under his breath. Though she could barely hear it, the girl knew he was struggling. It wasn't exactly something new for her, so she was hardly surprised. But when the guy frowned, as if he were pissed off that he couldn't say it still, she began to feel bad. Maybe she should offer her nickname as a means of making it easier on him? What if that made things awkward, though?

Conflicted on the matter, Astrid decided to leave it for now, instead questioning him about his own name. When he confirmed that it was, in fact, JB, she nodded and smiled at him a little, though he continued before she could say anything else. What he said had her smirking slightly, a hint of amusement sparkling in her eyes. He was right, though. They hadn't been introduced outside of the circle. That was about to change when JB turned towards her more and introduced himself properly, telling her a little bit about himself as he did so. It was enough to have a tiny smile tugging up the corners of As' lips as she gazed up at him.

"It's nice to meet you properly," Astrid murmured softly, a shy blush covering her cheeks as she realized it was her turn to introduce herself now. "Um, I'm Astrid. But, you know, you could call me Ash or something if that's easier," she suggested, her cheeks warming up further as she spoke. "I'm new, too. I mean, obviously you know that, I guess. I started a week ago." God she was so bad at this.

After that, the girl fell silent for a moment or two, but the silence was soon interrupted when a waitress approached their table. Just water. I'm okay with water. As repeated the statement over and over in her head, anxiously making sure her words sounded okay. She always did this whenever being put on the spot, like in a restaurant or in line to buy something. Her anxiety never failed to make her incredibly self-conscious of how she spoke, especially considering she looked like a foreigner, even if she'd lived in Seoul for ten years of her life.

The young woman went around the table collecting drink orders and then it was Astrid's turn. The brunette met the waitress' eyes shyly, hoping her voice came out loud enough for her to hear. "Just water. I'm okay with water," she murmured, her cheeks hot as the waitress nodded and turned her attention to JB next. Breathing the tiniest sighs of relief, As sat back in her seat, allowing herself to relax a little now that the attention was off of her.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] nerd alert
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] JB was prepared to ask the girl next to him questions about her thoughts on the group. Personally, he felt like it was a good circle of people. A nice tight community. But the thing he loved the most was as soon as the doctors and therapists left the room, everyone just talked about how shit this all was. There was a united front together about how it was absolute bull crap that they had to attend these sessions. Once those doctors were back, however, everyone was pretending like they were happy to change their ways and to focus on to a happy and bright future. As a newcomer, he didn’t feel pressured to talk within the group yet. And he was sure Astrid probably felt the same also. But he was curious to see if another newcomer saw the group the way that he also saw them; fake with the doctors but real in the outside world.

However, he didn’t have the chance to ask as a waitress approached the table, taking the drink order. JB silently sat there, wondering what he should do. Sure, he probably should just have some water. Be responsible and find his way home. However, there was a part of him that was screaming for alcohol. His veins were yearning for that bitterness to run through his body. The thought of waking up with a hangover was a somewhat pleasant one, oddly enough. So, as the waitress asked him what he’d like, he asked for a Hite beer and a bottle of normal Soju so he could make some Someck to drink. His attention was brought back to Astrid as he heard her voice comment on how she just wanted water. And instantly, he felt regret. Maybe he should’ve just stuck with the water too?

Ah, screw it, he thought to himself. Live life to the fullest before you off yourself, right?

The waitress nodded her head, reading the list out loud to make sure she got the order right. Once everyone was in agreeance, she said she would head off to get the said drink items. JB allowed a shaky sigh to slip past his lips as he placed his glass of water back down on the table and also relaxed into his seat. He pursed his lips slightly, blowing light raspberries into the air as he gazed around the group once again. It sure was a mess of people. He wondered if there was a name for a group of depressed people who seemed happy and chummy enough to get together for a meal after a group therapy session. The boy brought his attention back to his hands, lightly rubbing them against his shorts as he could feel the sweat forming on them. Damn this hot, humid weather. And damn the thought of social interaction just so he didn’t seem or feel too lonely.

He raised his head once more, gazing at Astrid with a slightly raised brow. Everyone else was talking to each other. Why not try and make the most out of this situation. What was the worst that could happen? He could be killed? Well, that would’ve been a blessing in disguise if we were being completely honest. “I uh… noticed you were an inpatient…” he said slowly to the female, hoping that it wouldn’t offend her in any way, shape or form. “Which wing are you staying in? The uh… the Kang Wing has a really nice view of Namsam Tower at night time near the vending machines.”

Geez, could you be any more awkward, you nerd?

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

[class=tag] display: inline; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px 4px 2px 4px; background: #008080; color: #fff; [/class] [class name=tab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #008080; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: .4; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=selectedtab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; background: #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #fff; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabcontents hide titleslide removeClass selectedtab tab set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (addClass selectedtab tab) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (show tabcontents) [/script]

[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"maybe this isn't so bad after all."
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

Astrid was silent as she waited for the waitress to collect all of their orders before repeating it back to ensure she had it right. For a moment, As wished she had ordered something aside from water. An alcoholic drink sure would have done her well right now, considering she tended to loosen up once she had a little liquor in her system. But that was the thing. The girl didn't want to embarrass herself in front of a group of people who were relatively new to her. Not only that, but what if one of them snitched to the therapy counsellors? There was no way she was delaying her discharge if she could help it.

Now that the waitress was gone, everyone seemed to be resuming their previous conversations, as if they hadn't just been interrupted. JB seemed to be on the same track, too, for he turned back to As and picked up more or less where they had left off. What he asked had the girl smiling shyly, her cheeks flushing pink as he brought up her being an inpatient. It wasn't that she minded talking about it or anything, but it was a reminder of the fact that she was still stuck in that hospital, meanwhile everyone else here was an outpatient. At least as far as she knew.

"Yeah, it's that one. I just haven't really explored it much," Astrid murmured quietly, biting down on her bottom lip. "I guess I'll have to go check out the view tonight when I go back." Her small smile remained intact as she lifted her head to meet JB's gaze, her dark eyes finding his own shyly. As could only hold the eye contact fora moment before feeling awkward about it and having to look away.

"Um, did you stay there when you were in hospital?" The young woman questioned after a moment, figuring the man must've if he knew her wing had such a good night view. Though she was curious about what he had gone through, As knew better than to outright ask. If anyone did the same to her, she was sure she would feel horribly embarrassed talking about it. So the last thing she wanted to do was make JB feel that way. But if he wanted to share more with her, she was perfectly happy to listen and contribute where she could, so long as her ridiculous social anxiety didn't get the best of her.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

[class=variables] --color: #b7cfda; cursor: url('http://i.imgur.com/ZOrzC.png'), auto !important [/class] [class=tag1] font-size: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; display: inline-block; padding: 0px; color: #fff; background: #1D6C7D; margin-top: 10px; height: 30px; [/class] [class=container] width: 630px; height: 500px; display: flex; margin: auto; [/class] [class=left] height: 500px; width: 220px; padding: 15px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 13px; overflow: hidden; [/class] [class=name] font-weight: 900; text-align: center; border-bottom: 4px solid #15444E; width: 120px; display: block; margin: 10% auto; font-size: 18px; position: relative; [/class] [class=imgContainer] width: 100%; height: 150px; display: flex; justify-content: space-between; margin: 10px auto; [/class] [class=img] width: 90px; height: 90px; background-size: cover; background-position: 50% 50%; filter: saturate(70%); [/class] [class=tag] display: inline-block; border-bottom: 1px solid #15444E; height: 15px; font-size: 10px; text-transform: uppercase; [/class] [class=right] width: 480px; height: 400px; display: flex; flex-direction: column; overflow: hidden; font-size: 12px; text-align: justify; padding: 10px; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class=leftTagContainer] width: 100%; height: 100px; [/class] [class=scroll] width: 100%; padding-right: 50px; height: 100%; overflow-y: scroll; [/class] [div class=variables] [div class=container] [div class=left] [div class=imgContainer]

[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] damn i want chocopies now.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] As her eyes slowly met with his own, JB offered the female a warm smile. It seemed as if she was like a little baby Kangaroo tucked in its mother’s pouch, all curled up and weary of the world around her. However, with their gaze connecting, JB hoped that his smile was enough to give her the courage to start leaving the little pouch of warmth and expose herself to the warmth of the world. He nodded slowly, listening as she explained that she hadn’t explored the said wing much. Well, maybe she was a new patient? There was a part of him – a curious, devilish, selfish part of him – that wanted to just openly ask her what she managed to do to get herself into the hospital and into these group sessions. From what he could see, she didn’t have any scars on her wrists or legs. And she didn’t seem like some manic-depressive person. Then again, he also didn’t have any self-harm scars, but still managed to find a way to try and take his own life.

Hearing her question, the boy raised his brows as he had been surprised that she had asked that question. There was courage building up inside of Astrid and he could tell from the way she questioned him. Once again, he nodded slowly, his mind flickering back to his time in the hospital. Sure, he had been out for a couple of weeks, but his time in the hospital was still fresh in his mind. It was a wound on the roof of his mouth that would scab if he could only stop picking at it. “I was there for… three months… close to four, actually,” he revealed to her, trying to figure out the exact dates he had been admitted and discharged. To be honest, it was a complete mess in his mind. He couldn’t even tell you what date it was today. All the days were starting to mesh into one. “I uh… I only recently was transferred to an outpatient. About like… two or three weeks ago. One of my conditions of being an outpatient was group therapy four times a week, one on one therapy twice a week and a weekly inspection of my apartment” he said in a soft tone, raising his right hand to lightly scratch his neck with a grimace complexion upon his face. Sometimes he wondered if it was just easier to stay in the hospital rather than racing around to all these appointments and making sure his apartment was up to code.

But that was enough about him. There was nothing more depressing than him in his eyes. He dropped his hand from his neck and placed it upon his left wrist, his fingers beginning to lightly play and fidget with the therapy tape which wrapped around it. “You’re really lucky, you know? ” he mentioned. Of course, she was in the hospital. How much luckier could the female feel? “I mean… When I was a patient, I wasn’t allowed to leave my room without any supervision. I had to have a nurse or doctor with me no matter where I went. I uh… I only discovered the Namsam Tower view because I snuck out of my room one night to get some chocolate from the vending machines… Gave the nurses a bit of a heart attack but… it was really good chocolate… Choco-pies are the best.”

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

[class=tag] display: inline; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px 4px 2px 4px; background: #008080; color: #fff; [/class] [class name=tab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #008080; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: .4; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=selectedtab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; background: #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #fff; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabcontents hide titleslide removeClass selectedtab tab set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (addClass selectedtab tab) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (show tabcontents) [/script]

[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"i'm gonna have to try these choco-pies now."
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

Seeing JB smile at her like that had Astrid feeling marginally better about not only the conversation they were having, but herself as well. Maybe he didn't mind talking to her as much as she had convinced herself he did. Either way, that one little smile was enough to help boost her confidence a little. And it showed as she began to question him as well, contributing to their conversation a little more as she did so. Though Astrid wouldn't show it, she was admittedly curious to know more about JB. She wanted to ask him what he had done to wind up in the hospital like he did, what he thought of the group, how he found the sessions they were required to do. The girl hadn't really talked to any of the other group members aside from a few quiet 'heys' here and there. And, of course, when she was expected to talk during therapy sessions. But other than that, Astrid had mostly kept to herself.

As Jb began to speak, answering her question, Astrid couldn't help but widen her eyes a little. Almost four months in hospital? God, she couldn't imagine going through that. Having to spend her five weeks there was bad enough. And it was closer to seven now, too, considering she was still in the psych unit and required to attend therapy. The slightest of frowns graced her pale features as the man revealed what was expected of him as an outpatient. Would that be required of her, too, once she was discharged?

"That's... That's a lot," As murmured quietly, biting down on her bottom lip a little before glancing back up at JB. "I kind of thought maybe getting discharged and becoming an outpatient would make things easier, but maybe not." Her eyes found his as she spoke, her brows still pinched together slightly. "Do you like being an outpatient more, though?" The words seemed to keep flowing from her mouth before Astrid could even think twice about how much she was talking. Her curiosity seemed to be growing the more she learned about JB and she was starting to kick herself for not paying more attention during their therapy sessions. What if she was missing out on more than she thought she was? Maybe if she'd paid more attention, she would know these people better than she did right now. As it was, she could barely remembered their names, let alone anything about them.

The conversation continued, causing a bemused look to cross the girl's features as JB told her of the night he had snuck away from the nurses to get a choco-pie from the vending machine. "I'm sure the chocolate was worth it," she mused, the smallest of smiles playing upon her lips. "The nurses follow me pretty closely, too. It's annoying as fuck, honestly," Astrid confessed, shaking her head a little as the curse fell from her mouth. She was notoriously bad for swearing, much to many people's disgrace. Not that she cared.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

[class=variables] --color: #b7cfda; cursor: url('http://i.imgur.com/ZOrzC.png'), auto !important [/class] [class=tag1] font-size: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; display: inline-block; padding: 0px; color: #fff; background: #1D6C7D; margin-top: 10px; height: 30px; [/class] [class=container] width: 630px; height: 500px; display: flex; margin: auto; [/class] [class=left] height: 500px; width: 220px; padding: 15px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 13px; overflow: hidden; [/class] [class=name] font-weight: 900; text-align: center; border-bottom: 4px solid #15444E; width: 120px; display: block; margin: 10% auto; font-size: 18px; position: relative; [/class] [class=imgContainer] width: 100%; height: 150px; display: flex; justify-content: space-between; margin: 10px auto; [/class] [class=img] width: 90px; height: 90px; background-size: cover; background-position: 50% 50%; filter: saturate(70%); [/class] [class=tag] display: inline-block; border-bottom: 1px solid #15444E; height: 15px; font-size: 10px; text-transform: uppercase; [/class] [class=right] width: 480px; height: 400px; display: flex; flex-direction: column; overflow: hidden; font-size: 12px; text-align: justify; padding: 10px; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class=leftTagContainer] width: 100%; height: 100px; [/class] [class=scroll] width: 100%; padding-right: 50px; height: 100%; overflow-y: scroll; [/class] [div class=variables] [div class=container] [div class=left] [div class=imgContainer]

[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] lets get shitfaced
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] JB could see that the wheels in Astrid’s head were turning, thinking about what life as an outpatient was like. His brow furrowed slightly, feeling like maybe he had said too much about his personal experience as an outpatient and it might have freaked her out a bit. “Not everyone has the same outpatient schedule, just so you know, ” he reassured her “But uh… I’d rather be out and about in the world than stuck in a small, crappy white room for the rest of my life. My room didn’t even have a television because they thought I’d try to electrocute myself… And the windows were sealed so you could only open them up like… a centimetre… I just really missed the feeling of a nice cold breeze, you know? But they must’ve thought that so many people attempt to jump out of the window while in the psych ward that they have to lock them to a certain degree…”

The boy allowed a heavy sigh to fall from his lips as he brought his hand up to comb through his dark locks. And then automatically, his hand found it’s place back on his black tape on his wrist, lightly playing with the edge of the tape with his thumb. He really needed to stop doing that. It was becoming a rather ugly habit of his. Hearing Astrid speak once more, JB made sure his full attention was on the female. A smirk formed on his face and his eyes smiled as she mentioned how annoying the nurses were. “Right? ” he agreed with a chuckle “I’ve lost count on how many people have seen my dick because I wasn’t even allowed to shower or go to the toilet by myself. I should’ve just become a porn star and get some money out of it at least. ”

The waitress approached back to the table, announcing that she had different drinks for everyone. One by one, she went ahead and began to sort and allocate the drinks to their owners. She then made her way over to Astrid and JB, bringing a fresh jug of water for Astrid to pour from and bringing JB his beer and Soju so he could make his Somaek creation. The boy thanked the waitress, giving her a small bow of the head before reaching over to take hold of some spare glasses. “Have a drink with me, ” he said to Astrid. “And even if you say no, I’ll still make you a glass because I don’t want to look lonely while I’m drinking alcohol. ” He added on, chuckling as he placed two glasses before them. He took hold of the beer, pouring into the glass until it reached the half waypoint. He then placed the bottle down and took hold of the shot glass, placing it on the table. Finally, he poured the Soju into the shot glass, placed that down and poured into each glass. Oh man, it was a tiring job to prepare drinks for two people with only one hand. He had forgotten how much more useful life was with his second hand.

Once he had finished preparing the drinks, he placed one of the glasses in front of Astrid before taking hold of his own. “Another thing about being an outpatient. I’m not meant to be drinking alcohol but… no nurses or doctors stalking me to tell me off, ” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. Well, he really shouldn’t be drinking because it messed up with his depression medication… his medication which he had been throwing out every time he received them because he didn’t like the way they made him feel so… not human. He turned back to Astrid with a grin on his face and holding up his glass. “Cheers to getting out from under the nurses and doctor’s noses, right?”

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

[class=tag] display: inline; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px 4px 2px 4px; background: #008080; color: #fff; [/class] [class name=tab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #008080; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: .4; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=selectedtab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; background: #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #fff; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabcontents hide titleslide removeClass selectedtab tab set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (addClass selectedtab tab) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (show tabcontents) [/script]

[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"fuck it, let's drink."
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

Astrid was, admittedly, relieved to hear that not every outpatient was treated with such high surveillance the way JB seemed to be. Though from what she could tell, he absolutely hated being kept on such a tight leash, even if it was better than being stuck as an inpatient. His stories, however, only served to make her even more curious about what he had gone through to get himself stuck in the hospital for four months and then monitored so closely as an outpatient. She wouldn't ask, though, knowing it was a little too personal for only having just officially met him.

The man continued on, though, instead telling her about his time as an inpatient. The softest of frowns graced As' features when he explained just how strict the nurses and doctors had been with him. Of course, she understood to an extent. Her own room was similar, although she was lucky enough to have a television because her suicide risk wasn't quite as high as it was for those who had attempted once before. Astrid noticed, then, that as JB spoke, his hand dropped to fiddle with the black tape around his wrist, causing her to drop her gaze and stare at it curiously. Why did he wear that? Was it to hide self-harm cuts? She wasn't sure, but of course, she wasn't going to outright question him about it. That would be a little too much.

It wasn't long before the conversation became a little more playful, and when JB mentioned how many people had seen his dick, she couldn't stop the shocked laugh that escaped her lips. "Dude, same," the girl exclaimed, laughing. "I mean, not my dick, but everything else." Rolling her eyes, As shook her head a little, surprised to find herself becoming so open already. What had happened in the span of five or ten minutes to have her feeling comfortable enough around JB to laugh with him?

Then the waitress arrived with their drinks, going around the table and handing out the right glasses to the right people. When she stopped by Astrid and JB, the young woman flashed the waitress a small, grateful smile in thanks, then turned to JB when he spoke to her. A little smirk appeared on her features at that, though she nodded. "Screw it, might as well have a drink," she gave in easily, smiling as she watched him pour the drinks for the both of them. It didn't escape her attention, however, that JB wasn't using the hand that had the black tape wrapped around it. Biting her lip, she wondered if she should ask after all, but before she could decide, a glass was being pushed towards her. Chuckling quietly, the girl grabbed it and lifted it to clink against JB's as he offered it to her. "To getting out from under their noses," Astrid toasted in return, smiling at him before lifting the glass to her lips and taking a sip.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

[class=variables] --color: #b7cfda; cursor: url('http://i.imgur.com/ZOrzC.png'), auto !important [/class] [class=tag1] font-size: 20px; text-transform: uppercase; display: inline-block; padding: 0px; color: #fff; background: #1D6C7D; margin-top: 10px; height: 30px; [/class] [class=container] width: 630px; height: 500px; display: flex; margin: auto; [/class] [class=left] height: 500px; width: 220px; padding: 15px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 13px; overflow: hidden; [/class] [class=name] font-weight: 900; text-align: center; border-bottom: 4px solid #658c94; width: 120px; display: block; margin: 10% auto; font-size: 18px; position: relative; [/class] [class=imgContainer] width: 100%; height: 150px; display: flex; justify-content: space-between; margin: 10px auto; [/class] [class=img] width: 90px; height: 90px; background-size: cover; background-position: 50% 50%; filter: saturate(70%); [/class] [class=tag] display: inline-block; border-bottom: 1px solid #658c94; height: 15px; font-size: 10px; text-transform: uppercase; [/class] [class=right] width: 480px; height: 400px; display: flex; flex-direction: column; overflow: hidden; font-size: 12px; text-align: justify; padding: 10px; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class=leftTagContainer] width: 100%; height: 100px; [/class] [class=scroll] width: 100%; padding-right: 50px; height: 100%; overflow-y: scroll; [/class] [div class=variables] [div class=container] [div class=left] [div class=imgContainer]

[/div] [div class=name]Kim Yuto.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] drinking the night away
[div class=tag]mood[/div] look at me being like jesus
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] Yuto gazed around him to see their small group talking together. There were eleven other patients here alongside with him, and he felt like a proud father staring at all of them. Being the ‘self-proclaimed’ leader of the pack, with Charlie helping him by his side to distract the nurses and doctors, he thought that tonight would be the perfect opportunity to explain his next move of attack to the group. I mean, they were all here for the same reason: death. They all craved for the sweet release of death. Yuto, himself, had never actually died. I mean, he came close to it a couple of times. Car accidents, accidental drug and alcohol overdoses and the occasional hanging or choking with a belt. But he had never actually fully succeeded. Well, that’s why he was on a mission.

“Hey guys,” he called out, standing to his full height to get everyone’s attention at the table. Yuto took his beer in his hand, holding onto it to supply some dutch courage. “So… I’ve been thinking. And I know that a lot of you guys would be on the same page as me but… I don’t want to pussy out this year. And I was to be successful. So… in 100 days from today… I plan on taking my life. And I want you guys to be by my side. ” He said, lifting up his beer to cheers to that. “Think about it. If all of us kill ourselves at the same time, they won’t have enough staff on to rescue us all. So many times my attempts have been tarnished because there was always some sort of nurse or doctor there to help me. Well, I say there’s power in numbers. Let’s shove it in their faces. I say… 100 days from now. Chuseok. I’ll plan the event. All you have to do is rock up”

Now, if someone was to stand up and declare this at some dinner party, you’d want to call the hospital to come and get him thrown away as soon as possible. But this wasn’t some normal dinner party. In fact, Yuto could see the glee in some of the faces of the people who sat around him. They were looking at him like he was some sort of God. That this was the most amazing plan they had ever seen in their whole life. Yuto smirked at the thought of it all. Fuck, he was brilliant. “I’m going to send around a pen and notebook. If you’re interested, write your number and phone number down. Oh, and your favourite method. And I’ll keep you accountable, don’t worry. ” He gazed around the table once more and gave a soft wink “I’ll make sure to pick something that everyone will enjoy” He chuckled.

Yuto sat back down once again, reaching into his backpack to take hold of a notebook. He filled through the pages and landed onto a clean page. Taking a pen out of his bag also, he handed the notebook and pen to the person on his left. Slowly, one by one, the others were beginning to fill it out. A proud, wide smile came to his face. Oh yeah, this was going to be sweet as hell.

[/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] killing myself? hell yeah - sign me up for that!
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] He could tell that Astrid was starting to come out of her shell just that little bit more. And for that, he was truly thankful. She seemed like quite the woman and seemed very intriguing; therefore, he was glad that she was starting to become comfortable enough to speak with him. Heck, he had half the mind to tell her to drop any honorifics and to use informal speech around him. A wide smile formed upon his face as she lifted her glass to clink against his own. He nodded his head in agreeance to her toast before lifting the glass to his own lips and taking a large sip. The alcohol felt warm as it slid down his throat and made its way into his stomach, leaving a burning sensation along its way. JB brought his glass back down, placing it firmly on the table as he gasped. Oh man. He loved that burning feeling.

The boy was about to ask Astrid another question when he heard the familiar voice of Yuto addressing the table. Curiously, he gazed over at the male, and began to listen intensely to what he had to say. And well, he glad that he did. Because every word that fell from his lips… JB agreed with. Because it was the same for him. He would’ve successfully killed himself those four months ago had it not been for the doctors and nurses who saved him. He had been clinically dead for four minutes and yet they decided to drag him from this state of euphoric peacefulness. What asses. And so, as the male before him spoke, JB nodded his head slowly to show the male non-verbally that he agreed to everything he was saying.

His eyes darted towards the notebook and pen that Yuto gave to the person who sat next to him. For some reason, JB could feel the anxiety build up in his chest. Wait, was it anxiety? Or was it… excitement? Oh wow, it had been a while since he felt that. It was a nice feeling too. JB took hold of his glass, taking another long sip, before realising that the book was in front of him and the pen was also being handed over. His dark eyes darted down to see the four other people had put their name down along with their number and variety of different ways they’d like to die. One said by an overdose, another said jumping off a bridge. He quickly looked up to see how far the book that travelled to find that it had only been to four people so far – and all those people had pledged their lives.

Okay, he wanted to do this.

JB picked up the pen, feeling that excitement rush over his body like warmth as he began to write down his name and details. Finally, next to his details, he paused for a moment to think of the way he wanted to die. To be honest, he didn’t care how it happened. He just wanted it to happen. And so, he simply wrote anyway, anything, anywhere. Letting out a deep sigh, as if he had just signed his life away (well, he literally did), he placed the pen on top of the book before pushing the book over to in front of Astrid – and then he froze. For some reason, the excitement was gone and now dread took over. What if Astrid wasn’t in their group because she wanted to take her life? What if… She thought that everyone here was crazy. What if she thought he was crazy? Oh no, he had to get rid of these negative thoughts. So, instead, he cleared his throat slightly to indicate to Astrid that it was there before reaching his glass and taking another sip. [/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

[class=tag] display: inline; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px 4px 2px 4px; background: #008080; color: #fff; [/class] [class name=tab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #008080; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: .4; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=selectedtab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; background: #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #fff; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabcontents hide titleslide removeClass selectedtab tab set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (addClass selectedtab tab) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (show tabcontents) [/script]

[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"i guess it's official now; we're all going to die together."
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

The warmth of the alcohol as she sipped it was unsurprisingly comforting to Astrid. It made her feel somewhat okay inside, as if the coldness of her depression and anxiety had faded just a little bit. Of course, that wasn't true by any means, but she liked the way drinking made her feel. It had helped her cope with her abusive relationship, at least. Besides, the little mixture JB had made was good and something she'd have to remember for the future.

Just as their conversation was about to continue, however, another voice filled the air around them, this time loud enough to draw all of their attention. When As glanced over, she noticed it was the blonde haired kid, who had stood with a beer in his hand. If she recalled correctly, his name was Yuto. Remaining silent, the girl sipped her drink and listened to what he had to say, intrigued. But where his statements led to took Astrid completely by surprise. Despite not being surprised by the fact that he wanted to take his own life, she was somewhat shocked to hear he wanted them to do it altogether. But his words made sense in her mind, as twisted as it was. Doing it together would not only guarantee a higher chance of success, but also ensure none of them died alone. That last fact was enough to catch As' lasting attention.

Her depression had crept up on her over the months once her ex began to grow violent with her. At first, it was only a little bit of sadness here and there, perpetuated by late nights or particularly painful beatings. But as things progressed, her mental health declined. She began to genuinely think about hurting herself simply to feel anything but the numbness that had enveloped her. A few times she had tried, but she had chickened out before she could physically mark herself. Astrid was too scared to do anything. Despite that, however, thoughts of self-harm and suicide lingered.

As the notebook made its way around the table, the girl sat in her seat, dead silent. Should she put her name down? Or should she pass? It would be so easy to finally end it all with these people. The people who knew what she felt and understood how she thought. Astrid Dunmore wouldn't have to die alone if she wrote her name down on that notebook and that was the thing that terrified her the most. Dying alone.

When the pad of paper and pen slid in front of her, the dark haired girl couldn't help staring at it for a long moment, her breaths short and shallow as the thoughts consumed her. But she already knew her answer. She wanted to die. And this would be how she'd do it. Hearing JB clear his throat from next to her, Astrid briefly glanced up at him, lips parted slightly as she did so. Then she exhaled and reached for the pen, quickly scribbling down her name, number, and how she wanted to die. Whatever takes me out the fastest.

Without hesitating, As dropped the pen back onto the notebook and practically shoved it at the next person beside her. It was done. Her name was down. She had 100 days left to live. Swallowing thickly, she grabbed her drink and took a big sip, then glanced sideways at JB. "You wanna order more drinks?" The question spilled from her lips almost instantly, the consequences of drinking on her hospital pass flying over her head. Right now, Astrid didn't care about that.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] drink drink drink
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] As he heard the pen meeting the paper, JB couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the words that were being written down in the notebook. Seeing her choice method of suicide, he had to bite down on his lower lip from commenting on the said matter. Whatever takes you our the fastest? He had never thought about that. But the thought of being brought back to that peaceful, euphoric state… Oh, it seemed so amazing. Maybe he should’ve written down he didn’t care how they did it or where, as long as it was quick. And that way, the nurses and doctors would struggle to try and revive them all. Yeah, that seemed like the best plan.

Hearing Astrid’s voice, JB moved his gaze to meet her eyes with a smile upon his face. For some reason, that warmth that he had been experiencing before was still bubbling in him. That excitement. Maybe it was because he was finally having a good time, surrounded by people? Oh, no. It was because he knew that in 100 days, he would be taking his own life – to end all this pain and horror – and he would have people around him that would keep him accountable. There was nothing worse than chickening out of a situation like this. And he didn’t want to seem like a coward. The thought of dying in 100 days was like welcoming an old friend. He couldn’t wait to embrace death as if it was a childhood friend had hadn’t seen in many years.

The boy nodded in agreeance as Astrid suggested in getting more drinks. He looked at the beer and soju which he had been combining to see that they were coming to the end of both bottles. So, as they waited for the waitress to come back over, he poured the remaining liquids evenly into their glasses. The waitress finally came over once again, but this time she had the meat for the barbeque grill in front of them. Everyone thanked the staff who were placing the coals into the barbeques and handing out the food. As one of the waitresses took hold of the empty bottles, JB asked her for another two Sojus and beers. She nodded before quickly returning with the said bottles.

JB bowed his head to thank her before turning to face the bottles and began to create his masterpieces once more. ““So,” he began, briefly glancing over to Astrid as he poured some of the beer into her glass. “Who’s your doctor? I had Dr. Bang for while I was admitted into hospital, but now I have Dr. Kang. He’s okay, but I prefer Dr. Bang. She used to let me walk around the room while we were talking. Dr. Kang doesn’t though. I think he has some sort of weird anxiety problem because he’s always fidgeting and blinking a shit ton.” He placed down the beer bottle and took hold of the Soju, pouring into his and Astrid’s glass to combine the two. He realised a soft sigh before placing the bottle back down on the table. ““Actually… how much longer do you have left? They generally don’t get you to start doing group therapy until you’re close to leaving the ward. Is your time almost finished?” JB asked curiously before taking hold of his glass to have a sip. [/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

[class=tag] display: inline; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px 4px 2px 4px; background: #008080; color: #fff; [/class] [class name=tab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #008080; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: .4; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=selectedtab] box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #008080; background: #008080; text-align: center; font-family: Montserrat; font-size: 10px; color: #fff; padding: 4px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; transition: all .5s ease-in-out; opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] opacity: 1; cursor: url(https://66.media.tumblr.com/6fb38fc5e97353c67e3fc3a2e2b29bf9/tumblr_inline_ol4nwisGdu1uxxza6_75sq.png), auto!important; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabcontents hide titleslide removeClass selectedtab tab set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (addClass selectedtab tab) if (eq ${currentTab} tags) (show tabcontents) [/script]

[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"i forgot how much i liked alcohol."
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

Astrid had admittedly glanced at the words scribbled above her name. JB's own handwriting outlining his name, number, and how he wanted to die lay on the line above hers. Even after she had shoved the notebook away, though, she couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyway, anything, anywhere. So he didn't care how he died? He just wanted to... die? In a way, she quickly realized, she felt much the same way. Whatever would take her life the fastest was the way she wanted to go. As just wanted it to be over.

Had JB noticed what she'd written? Astrid wasn't sure, but she didn't ask. Instead, she brought up getting more alcohol instead, to which the young man beside her seemed more than happy to agree to. Soon enough, the two of them had fresh glasses filled with the mix of Soju and beer thanks to JB. With a small, warm smile upon her face, As murmured a quiet 'thank you' before lifting her glass to her lips and taking a much needed sip, listening to him speak again.

"I know Dr. Bang, but I actually have Dr. Kim. He's okay, I guess. Doesn't have that weird anxiety problem, so I'd say he's alright," she responded playfully, a low chuckle escaping her lips. It was nice to have a somewhat normal conversation with someone again. Astrid rarely did with any of the hospital staff and for the most part, the patients on her unit didn't talk to her. Except for her roommate, Hyuna, of course. She liked her. But for some reason, talking to JB was better, as if the young man simply understood her more than any of these other people did.

Soon JB was asking how long it would be until her discharge from the hospital. A sigh left the girl's lips at that, though she nodded when he said she must not have much time left. "Only a week until discharge, if everything goes well. Though I guess... if they catch me drinking tonight, that might not happen," As explained, her brows pinching together slightly at the thought. Whatever. She was already drinking; may as well make the most of it, right?

"I can't wait to get out of the unit, honestly. It's driving me insane. Like I get that I have depression and anxiety and shit, but I don't think it's bad enough to be locked up in a psych ward," Astrid grumbled after a minute before reaching for her glass and taking a big sip. After swallowing, she glanced back up at JB. "Do you guys go out much like this?" She questioned after a moment, hoping to change the subject before she could really regret the decisions she had made tonight. She'd come to the dinner knowing she couldn't drink, but here she was doing it anyways. Whatever, she could fake being sober later. All she'd need was some mint-flavoured gum and she would be good to go. The nurses wouldn't suspect a thing.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] i'm not a serial killer, i swear
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] As Astrid revealed to him that she only had a week left until her discharge day, a wide smile formed on his face. “That’s great!” he said with a toothy grin. “Well, I’d drink to that. I mean… we’re technically not meant to be drinking... But hey… you got to drink when you’ve only got a hundred days left, am I right?” he added in, giving her a wink before sipping his drink. Look at him go. Making references to the group’s pact already. Not only that, but talking about death so lightly. As if it was some sort of joke to be discussed and laughed about. Well, in JB’s mind, death wasn’t a bad thing and it shouldn’t hold onto any negativity. It was a light, happy topic to him. Therefore, why not bring positivity to it also?

Hearing her comments about the psych ward, he couldn’t help but chuckle in the back of this throat as his eyes smiled. Oh, he knew how she felt. During this stay there, he was known as one of those ‘high risk’ patients. This meant his visitation times were shorter, he stayed in his own room in fear that he might convince a roommate to assist him with some sort of suicidal tendencies, and his outdoor time was always closely monitored. It was like he lived with the feeling of someone always behind him, watching over his shoulder. Even now, being out in the real world, there was a slight past traumatic stress from it all. Maybe it was why he liked to drink and get high. To get rid of those sensations.

“Uh… to be honest…” JB began as Astrid asked if the group got out much like this “Well… I wasn’t allowed to have any passes while I was in the psych ward and… I wasn’t allowed to talk to any of the other patients. So… I’ve only been with these guys for two weeks. They’ve invited me out before but I’m uh… I’m a bit of an introvert. And I’ve been a bit stressed lately so… I really need to make sure that I’m mentally prepared to go out in big groups, you know? But… Yuto – he’s been great. After group sessions, we usually talk with each other before he gathers people to go out. He’s… he’s a big old extrovert. The complete opposite of me.”

JB paused for a moment, thinking about the words he had just spoken to the female. He had told her that he wasn’t allowed to go and talk to the other patients… Wouldn’t that seem… well, creepy to her? Like he was a mass murderer who was planning on going around to stab people. The anxiety began to rise in his chest as he sucked in a breath of air. “Uh – What I mean to say before, by the way,” he started, his brain ticking overtime “About the whole… not being allowed to talk to other patient’s thing? I’m not like… some murderer or anything. Please don’t take that the wrong way, please.” He released the air he had sucked in, feeling that anxiety starting to leave his body as he felt at east being able to add that in. “I was just… classified as high risk which… it absolute bull shit. So… I had my own room. And I wasn’t allowed to use the patient lounge room. They thought that I'd go around telling all the suicidal people what death felt like and try to promote it which is probably true but... I still think it's fucking bullshit. So… you know… three to four months of just me and my brain. It’s…. it’s been just fabulous.” [/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

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[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"i actually... kind of like this guy."
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
[/div] [/div] [/div]

astrid dunmore

JB's little wink and wide grin had a smile of her own spreading across Astrid's face. JB just understood her in a way others didn't seem to and it was beyond refreshing. Admittedly, it had As wanting to spend more time with him, if only to feel like there was someone out there after all who just got her. With a satisfied nod, the girl lifted her glass and took a sip as well, sighing as the alcohol rushed down her throat, warming her from the inside out. She couldn't wait until her blood alcohol level reached a point where she didn't feel anything but bliss. Just the way she liked it.

For Astrid, death was a very conflicting topic. A large part of her yearned for it, but somewhere deep inside, it scared her. Maybe it was the idea of being forced to undergo a long, painful death. Or maybe it was being brought back from the dead and forced to live again. Or maybe it was really only the thought of dying alone. She already felt so alone that dying alone had easily become her biggest fear. But now... Well, she was fairly certain she wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. After all, she had just signed her life away with these people. They would all go together, in one big depressed attempt at ending everything. Although marginally daunting, Astrid felt relieved. At least one of her fears was taken care of this way.

It was only when JB's voice met her ears again that the girl realized she had zoned out completely, her thoughts taking over as she subconsciously sipped her drink. Blinking, As forced herself to refocus, her dark eyes flickering up to meet JB's as he talked about the group, Yuto, and himself. She nodded along as she listened, a chuckle escaping her when he explained that Yuto was very extroverted. She could definitely see that, with the way he was like the group's self-proclaimed leader. It was kind of nice, in a way. As wished she could be as extroverted.

What the boy beside her said next, however, had Astrid returning her gaze to him, about to giggle before noticing the traces of anxiety on his features. Shit, he'd really been convinced she would think he was some kind of murderer. The smallest of smiles graced the girl's lips as she shook her head, hoping to reassure him that she thought nothing of the sort. "Hey, I get it, don't worry. That is bullshit, though. But yeah, god, I couldn't imagine being alone with my thoughts for that long," Astrid exclaimed, shaking her head as a small laugh escaped her. "Shit would get real depressing real fast." Flashing JB a playful look, she reached out and grabbed her drink again, taking another few sips before noticing the waitress returning.

"Oh fuck, I forgot about food. Um, shit..." Trailing off, the brunette felt her anxiety beginning to build as she realized she had no idea what she wanted. How in the world would she be able to order smoothly if she didn't even know what to order? Cursing again under her breath, she set her glass down and grabbed a menu from the centre of the table, then opened it before her. Her eyes scoured the lists of food options before she finally settled on a tuna poke bowl, something that she figured was both healthy and delicious. Only moments after deciding and quickly thinking over how she would voice it to the waitress, the woman was there with her notepad, ready to take her order. "Can I, um, can I please get the tuna poke bowl?" Well, she hadn't stuttered too badly. She just hoped no one else had noticed her slight stumbling over the words.

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coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] waiting for nom noms
[div class=tag]mood[/div] lets get deep sis
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] Oh, shit did get depressing real fast.

When JB first came to the ward, he was told he would only be there for a month. And then after a couple of sessions, he was told two months. Eventually, it progressed to three months. He had always wondered why they had decided to do that to him. But had he opened his ears and listened, he would’ve heard the nurses and doctors tell him why. Because he wasn’t progressing. Because every time they asked him a question about his overdose, he would make some sly remark or say something to try and stray the conversation away from him. He didn’t want to deal with his demons. It was only when he began to realise that was the reason why he wasn’t being let go that he decided to give the people what they wanted.

He started to tell them that he had tried to overdose because his hand was sore. It always felt like a constant aching feeling – almost like he repeatedly sprained it through out the day. Even with the pain medication, the aching was still lingering. He had asked for more stronger pain killers at the beginning of the year, but the doctors refused to give them to him. That the aching feeling he felt was just muscle memory and it was all in his head. Funny how they called it muscle memory because the source of the pain was the fact that his muscles were slowly rotting away. So, with this statement, the doctors and nurses were happy that he was opening up even though it wasn’t the truth.

The truth was that he was sad.

Behind the confidence and behind the smile, he just… felt sad. There was just this worry that was buried deep inside of him and he didn’t want it there anymore. He felt like he was broken and that the only way to fix him was to literally do an emergency reboot as you do with your computers. Shut him down and then he’d be back better than ever. Maybe in his next life he’d come back as a sloth, his favourite animal? Or maybe even a bird so he could finally travel around the world. Any animal of sorts or even a female – as long as he didn’t have to do his mandatory military service again, he was happy.

Seeing as the waitress made her way over to the table, JB gazed down at the menu. He knew what he wanted. He always had the same fricking thing. However, he waited patiently for As to make her order before jumping in with his own. Hearing her stutter, JB couldn’t help but allow a small smile to form on his face. She sounded so cute when she stuttered. Now, when he stuttered, he sounded like an absolute maniac. When As stuttered, it sounded like innocence. Once she made her order, he gazed at the waitress. “Can I get some Japchae with a kimchi pancake?” he asked her, offering the waitress a fake, warm smile. The female wrote down the order, nodding and smiling at him before making her way to ask everyone else what their order was.

Picking up his glass, JB took another sip as he lazily looked around the table to see people talking. “So…” he began, looking over at Astrid once more “Would it be rude of me to ask how you ended up in the ward? I mean… you couldn’t have done something too bad if you’ve got a roomie in the ward and passes to explore the town.”

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coded by shady.

 

[sereiin]

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[div class=tab]tags

[div class="tabcontents" style="display: none;"]

[div class=tag]mood

"white lies aren't really lies, right?"
[div class=tag]outfit

here.
[div class=tag]location

le restaurant.
[div class=tag]tags[/div] weldherwings
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astrid dunmore

Of course everyone else managed to order smoothly, without stuttering over their words or making a fool of themselves. Astrid was sure no one had really even noticed her mistake, but the irrational, anxious side of her was horribly embarrassed. Her cheeks had flushed pink at her poor attempt at speaking normally to a stranger, but she ducked her head so her dark hair would hide the redness of her skin. God, she blushed so easily. It was the worst thing, especially because she was rather pale, too. But at least the restaurant lighting was somewhat dim, leaving her with some hope that no one would notice.

But then JB was talking again and this time he was bringing up the reason behind her hospital stay. For a long moment, Astrid was silent, wondering what in the world she should say to that. There was no way she was going to tell him about her crazy ex boyfriend and how he'd nearly killed her. No way in hell. The only people who knew that were her parents and even then, it was only because they'd been the ones to find her that night, laying on her bedroom floor in a puddle of her own blood. Yeah, her ex had been stupid enough to lose his shit on her in her own damn house while her parents had been out that night. Thank god for her, even if she did still kind of wish she'd died from her injuries first.

Releasing a sigh, the girl finally broke herself from her depressing thoughts, running a hand through her hair as she glanced back up at JB. "Uh, well, I was on a medical ward first for some injuries after a little... accident. But I guess I was displaying some depressive and suicidal tendencies, so once I was medically stable they moved me to the psych ward. Unfortunately," As exclaimed, flashing him a smile in the hopes of making him chuckle.

"The roomie is nice, though, so she makes being locked up in a hospital a little less depressing. And the passes help, too. I don't know why I get them, really, but I guess they said it's because I never actually attempted suicide or anything. Yet, anyways." Shrugging, Astrid let out a laugh, a brief flash of amusement sparkling in her dark eyes. Then she reached for her glass of alcohol and took a big sip, a sigh escaping her lips soon after. Once she'd set her glass back down, As tilted her head up to meet JB's gaze, a slightly curious look on her face.

"So, uh, how did you get yourself stuck in there for that long? If you don't mind me asking you, of course," the girl questioned after a moment or two of silence, hoping she wasn't stepping on his toes by asking. He'd inquired about the same thing with her only moments ago, though, so she hoped he was okay with answering the same question. After all, nearly four months in a hospital was a long ass time. She couldn't help wanting to know why he'd been stuck there that long.

[/div] [/div]

coded by luna.

 

[weldherwings]

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[/div] [div class=name]Hwang JB.[/div] [div class=leftTagContainer] [div class=scroll] [div class=tag]location[/div] eating with the gang
[div class=tag]mood[/div] noms noms is here!
[div class=tag]tags[/div] sereiin
[div class=tag]outfit[/div] here. [/div] [/div] [/div] [div class=right] [div class=scroll] As Astrid began to explain her situation, JB slowly nodded as if to non-verbally show her that he was listening to her every word. So… She had an accident and then winded up in the psych ward. Sounds about right. As amazing doctors and nurses in hospitals could be (I mean, they had managed to reattach his whole hand after it was hanging by strands of skin), they really didn’t know how to care for those with mental issues in Korea. Mental health was just one of those things that people pushed under the rug. You’re not depressed, you’re just a bit sad. You’re not suicidal, you’re just going through a rough patch. You’re not anxious, you’re just a little bit worried. He had heard people say that to him so many times – and not just the doctors and nurses. But his own parents too. There was just this unspoken hatred towards mental health that no one seemed to care or bother. No wonder there were so many people out there trying to commit suicide.

Hearing her lightly mention about how she had never attempted suicide – or actually, she hadn’t tried it yet – JB couldn’t help but smile widely at the female as she allowed a laugh slip past her lips. There was a gleam in her eyes that sparkled as she had smiled. And it was contagious. There was a part of JB that was screaming at him to keep talking to her. To keep telling her jokes. To keep making her smile because it made her face smile and she was absolutely beautiful when she did so. Wait. What the hell was he thinking about? He had just met the damn girl and it was like he was planning on proposing to her. There was no point in that. 100 days from now, there’d be no point to anything anymore. Because he’d be dead.

Even as she tilted her head and met his gaze, JB all the sudden felt a wave of nausea flow through his stomach. Well, what the heck was that? He tried to push it aside as he listened to her question. She wanted to know how he had ended up in the psych ward. Well… That was a bit of a pickle. The boy went to open his mouth to speak, but before any words could come out the waitress returned with the kimchi pancake he had ordered. He quickly thanked her (and mentally thanked her also for giving him more time to think of a proper reply) and took hold of the pair of chopsticks next to him. Okay. He had this. He knew what he was going to say. And for some stupid reason, his mind was telling him not to tell her that he tried to commit suicide. That he overdosed. I suppose it was because he wanted to be on the same page as her. And because he didn’t want her to think that he was weak. That he had been unable to go through with his purposed plans.

“I suppose… for the same sort of reason…” he said softly, gazing down at the kimchi pancake and beginning to tear it with his chopsticks “I uh… went to the Emergency Department with a life threatening condition and they deemed me as mentally unfit. So, the transferred me to the psych ward. I uh… I was clinically dead for four minutes. They must assume that experiencing death must make someone mentally incapable to go back to their everyday life and instead think it’s a great idea to shove them into a single room by themselves for four months with no access to the outside world. I really do not recommend the experience. If I could leave a Yelp review, I’d barely give them half a star.” He picked up some of the pancake with his chopsticks and placed it into his mouth. His eyes widened slightly before looking over at Astrid. “You should try some. Please, help yourself. It’s to die for.”

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coded by shady.