Fandom Into the fire (1x1 MzHyde/Gallifrog)

[MzHyde]

Kay could see why Jay would be grossed out mentally about how the lab grown meat was grown/what it was from. It didn't sound all that appealing just being told about it and she didn't have anything against other sourced meats in the slightest, but that was the most unappealing way in her mind. Yet at the same time it was utterly fascinating that it could be made in such a way at the same time. She smirked at the comment about whoever brought bacon on board was the most popular, nodding as she gave a snigger. "I can imagine!" she smiled, before chuckling at Jay's reaction to the idea of a crisp sandwich having barbwque sauce in it. "oh trust me, adult me is wondering what the hell teenage me was thinking" she said. "thinking back on it I couldn't imagine much worse for such a food. I guess we all have moments of 'what was I thinking?' at one stage or another" she added, between mouthfuls of food, and sips of drink. She really was glad that she outgrew that particular acquired taste and was a lot more normal with what she added said sauce to.

With her order said, Fia kept out of the way as Cal wrote down everyone's orders and decide where to go to eat said lunch. Waiting, like the walk to the sub place felt like forever because of the size of their group and thus, the size of their order. Eventually she got to get her food which made her incredibly happy and once at the relatively secluded area, she plonked herself down on the ground, and wasted no time whatsoever to unwrap her choice of sub and take a big bite. A bite that barely could fit in her mouth to begin with but she refused to take a smaller bite. She couldn't stop the hum of happiness from escaping her as she chewed, her eyes briefly closing as she took in the taste before reopening again. "this makes me so happy" she remarked after her mouthful was done, practically looking at the sub like it was a lover. She didn't even care how she must be coming across as right now in front of everyone as she was too involved in stopping her stomach from growling. She was too used to being the laughing stock to her family so it didn't always bother her.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay focused mainly on eating than she did on drinking, she was far more ravenous than she'd realised, borderline inhaling the first sandwich. She took the second one at a more normal pace, last thing she needed was to give herself indigestion and be forced to miss out on another day's worth of trial proceedings. She doubted that anything of great interest would happen in today's sessions, just more of the same, but it would be utterly typical for the case to be cracked wide open when she wasn't there to witness it. She nodded in agreement with Kay's words, there were a number of things her younger self had done that she looked back on and cringed at and questioned why she'd ever thought it was a good idea. "Yeah, we all do, though mine are related to people as opposed to crazy food combinations." Jay had tried all kinds of weird food experiments, but none of them she really regretted. Food got very samey very quickly on long haul space flights so even if her concoction was an utter failure, it was a break from the norm.

The way Fia was looking at the sandwich with such wide, adoring eyes made Cliff smirk mischievously and lean over to her wife, saying something in her native tongue. What she said was so dirty minded that Cal nearly spat her mouthful of sub across to the square in shock before bursting into peals of laughter. Having grown up with (and keeping in contact with) so many siblings had meant that Cliff had a very dirty mind. The doctor rarely showed it however, preferring to make one incredibly dirty remark completely out of the blue and catching everybody off guard than producing a stream of low grade, slightly dirty quips. When the others looked over at Cal for explanation the woman just shook her head and continued chuckling, Cliff wrapping an arm around her with a smile. Elliott rolled his eyes fondly before taking another bite of his sub and taking in the scenery. This was the first time he'd been in this particular section of the city since coming back and like with all places he couldn't help but compare it with his childhood memories. A couple of buildings had been repainted and the tress and other plants were more mature, but apart from that it was the same as he remembered.

 

[MzHyde]

Seeing how Jay was truly hungry, Kay was glad that she made two sandwiches each so they could actually feel like they ate enough. She didn't wolf down the first sandwich quite like Jay did. But she didn't particularly take her time with it either, not wanting her second sandwich to get cold before she got to it. She couldn't help but smirk at Jay's reply as she agreed they all had moments in their life that she cringe at, even if Jay's wasn't food related. "I'm sure if you ever met anyone from my past they'd have various stories of my less than appealing moments with people when I was younger too." she replied, sure that if Sam or her adoptive parents were around a lot she did as a kid would have come out that would have made her went to sink down in her chair and go bright red in her cheeks. She had previously hinted at the kinds of things she got up to to John, but not to anyone else and was sure that if anyone who only knew her as she was now would be slightly surprised at her past antics, considering how introverted she always has been.

Fia was in her own little world with her sub, feeling in utter bliss that she was finally eating. That was until Cal nearly spat her food out and burst into loud laughter at something Cliff said to her. She looked up after being jolted out of her mind, wondering what had made Cal laugh so much, only to find that Cal wasn't giving anything away but she could tell it was something Cliff said from the way Cliff was smiling as she wrapped an arm round Cal. Shhe then simply went back to eating her sub happily, her feet tapping happily on the ground, making her almost gently rock to her own little tune in her head from happiness. She rarely did it, but it was known to happen in her time as well when she got extremely happy and content about something. Mostly if she got to eat her body weight in her mother's brownies or hot desserts, or if she was incredibly hungry like she was today. It was times like this that really showed that she was just still a teenager, who found joy in the simplest of things.

 

[_gallifrog_]

After wolfing down the initial sandwich and this getting her stomach to stop it's rumbling Jay moved herself into a more comfortable position, kicking her feet up on to the coffee table, crossing one ankle over the other. Out of all the people currently living in the apartment she couldn't say that Kay was particularly high up her list on somebody she wanted to spend time with. It wasn't because she had anything against the woman personally, it was simply that she was much, much closer emotionally to a number of the others. She'd never really spent much time alone with either Kay or Fia, which had most definitely been a good thing when they'd found out the extent to which their alternate selves had ruined Rinaa's life. But so far the other woman was proving decent enough company, enough so that Jay felt okay with mentioning her past family in passing. "The same would apply to my adoptive father." Jay replied with a nod of understanding. "The stories he could tell of my younger years.... they're quite something." There was a pause as she considered something. "If he's still around that is."

The group was nearly finished by the time Dan joined them, sitting next to Cal and Cliff. Firmly etched on his face was the look of a man who'd been doing a lot of thinking on the walk over. All eyes turned towards him as Cal passed over his sub (which she'd been keeping warm using a very small floating flame. When it became clear that the blacksmith wasn't going to say anything without some initial prompting Cal spoke up, a slight edge of impatience leaking into her tone. It was very important for her to hear the opinion of her adoptive father with regards to Zan and all things Zan related. In a way it was if there was a part of her that was still that sixteen year old looking for his approval in everything she did. "Well, how'd it go?" She asked bluntly. The blacksmith took a long moment to consider his answer, tipping his head to one side. "Not how I thought it would. He's different..... very different to what I remembered. Obviously I didn't know him that well before" the blacksmith gestured a hand in Elliott's direction "everything, but still. I took a bit of a risk and had a feel of him." Cal's eyebrows raised in interest and she leaned further forwards to hear what he had to say. "Dan's a low level empath, low level enough that he can turn the ability on and off." Cliff said by means of explanation. Dan nodded a confirmation before explaining what he'd learned using his. "I only got the shapes of emotions, as per usual, so there's no nuances to any of this, but it's enough to say for certainty that he's a mess. He's far from happy with anything in his life and he's definitely being eaten alive by guilt. There's definitely a struggle with some form of depression going on as well. He's also incredibly determined to get revenge on those who ruined his life and it's that determination that's keeping the majority of the suicidal urges at bay."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay knew just as well as everyone else that neither her or Jay were that connected in comparison to the others. It was no secret that both of them had spent the least amount of with each other when the others weren't around, but Kay would always be highly grateful to Jay for being the catalyst to get the others to her when she needed saving. If it wasn't for Jay being able to get into her head, she was sure that shhe wouldn't have got out of that situation so easily, if at all. So for that reason it made Kay always the tiniest bit baffled that they hadn't gotten to know each other better. She always respected the woman, that much was evident and hoped that if things didn't turn into Rinaa's timeline that they could get better at knowing each other. She noticed as Jay got comfortable, noting that Jay clearly felt comfortable enough to be relaxed around her even a little bit and let her know even a little bit of her family in a passing comment. "well I hope he is, we deserve as many positive family members in our lives as possible. I can also understand the not knowing if they're still around or not thing. I'm just assuming mine are, even though I couldn't say 100% one way or the other" she replied.

Eventually Fia did finish her sub, and was one of the first to actually finish it which considering how hungry she was, wasn't too much of a surprise. When she finished she laid back and stared up at the sky, feeling well and truly stuffed at this stage. It was only when Dan arrived and sat down beside Cal and Cliff that she sat upright once again, pulling her knees into her arms as she did so. With Cal's question of how it went, she looked toward Dan to get the answer, his initial remark making her curious which only got answered as Cliff explained what Dan meant. She gave a single slow nod of understanding before listening to what else Dan had to say, not expecting the answer to be what it was at all. Sure, she Figured Zan was always telling the truth to a certain extent that he felt guilty for what went down, but she never once thought it was to that extent that suicide was even on Zan's mind. "Bloody hell" she gasped, letting Dan's words sink in. "I got the feeling the guilt was somewhat true, but I didn't think it was that bad" she added. Part of her felt slightly bad for ever thinking it was a good thing Zan was riddled with guilt, yet part of her still felt like it was. She felt conflicted because she was so unbelievably loyal and close to Elliott.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay nodded in response, taking another bite of her sandwich. It was clear that Kay really did know what she was talking about, not just spitting out platitudes because it was the socially acceptable thing to do. She could hear in the other woman's tone that Kay genuinely did miss her own adoptive family and suspected it was partially to do with a) being pregnant and hormonal and b) all the stuff recently about Kay's (and other peoples') pasts and futures that had been dredged up in recent days. "Yours would be easy enough to find out about, if you know the right people and where to look" the assassin mused, part of her mind suspecting that Kane would given that he was American born and his father's business empire was based in the States. "Mine, less so. Isogrii aren't exactly common, they're an urban legend in a whole heap of places. I'd have to find another one and ask them to even begin to get information and the only one I can think of sure as heck won't tell me where her father is."

Cal wasn't the only one interested in Dan's opinion, Elliott was as interested as Cal was, like his sister he wanted to see what somebody who'd been both an adult and an outsider of the family twelve years ago would have to say on the matter. The phrase 'not how I thought it would' had a foreboding edge to it that made John lean in closer with interest. Both John and Chas raised eyebrows in surprise when it emerged that Dan did indeed possess some form of power, even though it was an extremely weak one in comparison to that of Cal, Cliff and Elliott (all of whom had powers that were unusually strong). Chas couldn't help but wonder if the fact that he was an empath was related in some way to Dan's custom of taking in and helping kids who'd been kicked out by their real families. When the full extent of what Dan had gleaned came out Cal and Elliott just stared wide-eyed, both letting out low swears. "Well shit." "Fucking Hells." They'd both seen that Zan wasn't happy both remembering from their childhood what their father had been like when happy) and his desire for revenge had also been something they'd picked up on. The fact that he was suicidal had completely passed them by, as had the depth of his guilt over everything that had transpired since. Cal knew that Dan didn't use phrases like 'eaten alive' in terms of guilt lightly. Neither really knew what to make of this revelation. Neither Cal nor Elliott were anywhere remotely close to being his biggest fans (his fan club seemed to only have two members- the cat and Bec) but at the same time neither of them wanted to wake up one day and hear that Zan had killed himself.

John's reaction was a typical "bollocks!" while Chas was stunned into silence, something that seemed to be happening to him more and more often these days. Like Fia, the vindictive part of John was delighted that Zan was so ridden with guilt (as was the part of him that was incredibly protective over Elliott), but the other part of him, (the part he was suppressing) was feeling sort of sorry for the man. John did after all know exactly what it was like to be driven to suicide by the guilt of having a kid die due to his actions (Elliott had been considered dead by all these past twelve years). "How sure are you on that?" Cliff asked, like the others she was completely taken aback by what Dan had managed to pick up. She knew that his empathic powers were on the very low end of the spectrum and only gave him the main emotions (and were far from reliable when it came to the nuances of emotion), but she hadn't been expecting this bombshell and wanted to be certain that it was true. Dan gave her a sharp look in response, her remark had clearly touched a nerve in the blacksmith. "A hundred percent. I know exactly what the empathic signature of a suicidal person is." Cliff gave an apologetic nod in response. "Well it does explain why he was so weirdly calm when Jay rammed a gun in his face."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay knew better than to just spout empty platitudes to Jay. To people she didn't know or care about, she would have no qualms in spouting such words but to Jay she had no reason to do it. She also knew if there was an ounce of a moment where Jay thought someone was lying to her or just saying empty words for the sake of it, it would make her lose any level of respect she had for that person. She wanted Jay to know she was trustworthy, just like she did way back at first meeting with Elliott, so due to that she didn't have any motive to lie to her or talk crap. She would also be lying if she denied that her hormones/emotions of pregnancy had anything to do with her replies. She nodded at Jay's comment in saying there would be a way to find out if they were still around, knowing all too well if she truly wanted to, she could find ways. Not only with certain contacts that Jay and Elliott had, but if it really came to it, she knew deep down that with the aid of The House, if she truly wanted to find them, she could probably just ask John to let her ask The House to take them back to Seattle and find them. She knew she would never risk going and being seen by her adoptive parents, but she could probably return the old family home if she was careful and just see if they still resided. Or failing that, writing down the address and asking John to go in her place. Hearing rust it wouldn't be so easy for Jay, she truly did feel sorry for the woman, she couldn't imagine not having any ways of finding such a thing out. "I'm so sorry about that Jay. Truly. It must be hard at times to have no way of getting those answers" she replied.

The fact Fia's reaction was what it was, it was of no surprise that Cal and Elliott reacted the same way, being that it was about their birth father after all. She knew in her heart no matter how much they disliked their father, neither would want Zan to kill himself because of his guilt of what happened to Elliott twelve years ago and what that caused to happen these twelve years. John expressing his surprise with his usual go to word wasn't a surprise either, as it was a word she was all too used to hearing him use when something surprised him. She was however slightly surprised that that's all he reacted with, but it was a surprise in a way that she was proud of him for putting his grievance toward Zan to one side and see the seriousness of what they just found out. She also noted how Dan reacted to Cliff's question, wondering how strong Dan's power must be if Cliff was questioning it to this extent. She nodded when John said eventually that it explained how Zan was so calm with Jay's gun barrel in his face, thinking the same thing. "as saddening as that realisation is, you're probably right." she replied to him.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay gave a shrug when Kay expressed that she was genuinely sorry about the fact that Jay wasn't able to trace her adoptive father with any ease. Jay knew she could trace him if she wanted to, especially if she asked Dakkon to put her in contract with an Isogrii that wasn't Quin, but she'd rather not use the favours the lizardkin owed her for something like that. There was also a part of her that didn't want to find him, as she didn't expect his reaction finding out she was still alive and kicking would be a good one. Not only had Jay turned Quin into her enemy Jay had left the cowards way, in the middle of the night leaving a note of sort of explanation behind, dumping anything that could be used to trace her. She'd went and worked as a freelance spook for a couple of months to take her mind of the mess that had been her life and would have continued doing that had it not been for Jack managing to find her and repairing some of the bridges and bonds between them. They were twins after all and the bond between them was one you couldn't break easily. "It sucks, no point in sugar coating it, but you learn to live with it. I've still got the memories and the photos, so that helps somewhat."

The way Dan reacted to Cliff's question, he almost seemed offended by the fact that the doctor would question him Chas thought. In Chas' experiences it was highly unusual for the man to react like this. Cliff's apologetic look afterwards made him suspect that there was something else being alluded to, something that wasn't just Zan, some kind of raw nerve in the blacksmith had been hit. When John said what he did both Elliott and Cal nodded slowly, able to see completely where he was coming from. "You could be really on to something there." Elliott told John solemnly, before turning to the blacksmith. "Anything else?" The blacksmith shook his head "not really, everything talked about was stuff you all already knew, stuff Cal's been filling me in on these past few days." There were some thing to men had discussed that Dan had no intention of talking about as it was mainly him making sure the other man understood that Cal was his kid now- the 'if you hurt her, I hurt you' speech. "The only thing I wanted to ask was if he smoked when you two were younger, because if not, he does now."

Cal shook her head firmly "no he didn't" at the same time as her brother nodded "yeah, he did." Both siblings looked at each other with surprise. "What? You sure on that?" Cal raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah" Elliott nodded "you didn't know?" Cal's response was a shake of her head, her expression filled with curiosity as to how her brother knew this fact and she didn't. "I don't think we were supposed to know about it, given that he never smoked when either of us were around" Elliott replied, eyes unfocused as he slid into the memory "I caught him smoking on the roof once, he put it out the second he saw me- his explanation and stance on it is basically identical to John's." John's response was to splutter in surprise and indignation, not at all liking being so blatantly compared with Zan. "The kind of 'I smoke, but wish I didn't, it's too late for me to give it up, but I can sure as Hells make sure you never to touch the stuff. Don't you dare even consider smoking, and if I ever catch you doing it I'll be more pissed off than I've ever been in my life' sorta approach."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay nodded at Jay's words, understanding where she was coming from. It was similar to how Kay felt about her own adoptive parents and lack of wanting for a better word, to find them. She had one photo of her with her parents that was always kept in her bag in the mesh inside pocket, it was battered and ripped that was taped back together on the edges. It had faded a little bit but was still viewable without too much trouble and was of herself with her parents and Sam on the day they left for the UK to attend university and at age 27. It was one of those photos that she would never take out her bag, unless she was alone and really needed to look at it for memory sake, but otherwise she always tried to keep it from anyone and everyone. It laid in there beside an old Polaroid photo of her with her birth mother, of them both on the couch smiling and laughing and her just simply aged 6. The only way anyone would be able to see it was if someone went down her bag. "yeah I can get that. Some photos are worth just as much sometimes as the real person" she commented, soon getting round to finishing her second sandwich and getting up to put her plate in the bowl to do the washing up.

Chas wasn't the only one who thought that Cliff's words seemed to offend Dan, as Fia got that impression also, but just let it all play out in front of her as it was clear from Cliff's look back that she truly felt bad about it, and didn't intend to offend the man. She listened as everyone spoke back and forth, not entirely fully surprised that not much new information was discussed between Dan and Zan, that they didn't already know. However, the moment the topic continued and it was revealed that Zan was a smoker, Fia's mind refocused a bit more finding it curious that they never got that feeling from Zan before, but Elliott confirmed he did in fact smoke. The moment Elliott said Zan was like John on the smoking side of morals and John reacted the way he did, Fia couldn't help but smirk and quietly snort at her father's reaction. She listened to Elliott clarify what he meant by it all, finding it made perfect sense, getting why Elliott would say Zan and John were the same on something. "he's got a point, if that's Zan's stance on it then yeah, it is identical to your stance on it." she remarked to John. Having been given that very lecture herself in her timeline, she knew it all well. She remembered being told it when she caught him smoking when she was much younger, but put his mind at ease when she bluntly told him 'it stinks bad daddy and I don't want gross things'. She remembered hearing future Kay burst into laughter from behind them when her ten year old self just came out with what she did.

 

[_gallifrog_]

"Yeah...." Jay replied, her words tailing off as a look of surprised inspiration came over her face. As Jay tipped her head sideways in thought it would be clear to Kay that the other woman had just had a flash of inspiration, some long buried memory had been dredged up to the surface. Jay sat down the remaining bit of her sandwich (there was maybe two bites left of it) and wiped her hands against her jeans (which still contained dirt and flecks of blood from last night's roof ball game) to remove the remains of the mustard from her fingers. She leaned over the side of the couch to where she was keeping her stuff and grabbed her brother guitar. "If I know him as well as I think I do....." she muttered to herself unzipping the soft outer travel. She flipped the latches on the hard case, removed the guitar and set onto the space on the couch next to her. She then took a old guitar pick and carefully ran it along the seam between the hard case and the moulded foam/felt inserts, easing it out. A look of triumph came over her face as the insert popped out revealing that a secret compartment had been created behind the foam insert. Taped to the inside of the guitar case were two envelopes and a phone (which Jay knew to be a burner phone). One envelope contained cash, the other a series of photos.

The snort of indignation from John would have had Chas smirking like crazy had it been under any other circumstances. John looked so offended to be not only that he was of the same opinion of Zan on something, but also annoyed that he hadn't been the first person to give Elliott the 'don't smoke' speech. As Elliott explained his birth father's stance on smoking John was forced to accept that it was identical to his own one. There was a part of him that regretted the fact he was so dependent on cigarettes and wished he'd never started (especially when he'd been giving lung cancer by his twin brother from an alternate dimension), but another part of him knew that if it hadn't been smoking he would have found some other vice, one more destructive and harmful than smoking. So it really was the lesser of the two evils. There was a part of him now grudgingly willing to admit that Zan had his head screwed on the right way when it came to his kids and his smoking habit. The fact that Cal hadn't known and was genuinely shocked that Elliott knew was a testament to just how good Zan had been at not smoking around his kids. He gave a nod in response to Fia's words, knowing they were completely true. "Fair enough, it is the same I'll admit that much..... Still doesn't mean I like him or I trust him." John added with a slight glare and a sharp edge to his voice. "Well that answers my question." Dan replied, taking the fist bite from his sub.

 

[MzHyde]

Kay washed up her plate and the equipment she used that she hadn't washed up as she cooked everything bit by bit. As Jay's voice trailed off as she spoke, she looked over at the other woman on the couch, seeing that something had come to her mind as they spoke. She would have been lying if she said she wasn't curious to what Jay had suddenly thought of, but kept her distance so not to come across as invading her space. She watched on as Jay grabbed her brother's guitar case and opened it up, before opening a secret compartment inside, which at that point she walked over and sat on the other couch. "what you thinking Jay?" she asked, deciding to word it in a slightly less invasive manner than 'what are you doing and what I'd that you've found?'. She also had that look that said 'if it's none of my business then don't feel pressured into telling me', feeling at this point in their acquaintance that it didn't need to be said every single time. She knew how precious and how off limits her brother's guitar and case was to nearly everyone in their group, so the last thing she wanted was to set back any kind of small trust or respect they had between each other by being too nosey.

Fia knew John wouldn't like the fact that there was one thing that he had in common with Zan, so much so it was like a mirror image of opinions on such a topic. To her it wasn't an awful stance to have in common, and considering how much she detested smoking, she had to give both fathers credit where it was due for having such a stance of 'no way in any hell are my kids going down this rabbit hole that I myself went down'. She knew it wouldn't change anyone's opinions of Zan either, especially John's so when he accepted the common stance and declared how he still didn't like or trust the man, she just nodded. "I don't think any of us will change that drastically when it comes to Zan. Common opinion on one thing or not" she replied, still very much on her dad's side of things. She then unvent her legs and stretched them out flat on the ground once more, leaning back on her hands even though it was almost always hurt her after a while because like her mother, she had rather thin wrists.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay didn't look up wen answering Kay's questioning, keeping her eyes firmly rooted on the inside of the guitar case. She was using her fingernails to carefully pick and peel away the sellotape not wanting to leave glue marks on the inside of the case. "I always knew he had a hiding place in this case where he kept emergency cash, a burner phone and the odd packet of sweets he didn't want anybody to eat on him. I wasn't supposed to know about it, he'd have flipped if he knew I'd been snooping around his precious guitar case. So, for that reason and the usual obvious reasons I didn't let on that I knew about it." What Jay was alluding to when she said 'the obvious usual reasons' was the fact that nobody ever wants their sibling to know their hiding place and Jack would have without a doubt changed it if he knew that his sister knew. "Figured he'd also keep some physical copies of old sentimental and/or blackmail photos in there too." There was something in her tone which could have been 'he was like that' or it could have been 'but I never actually got around to checking that theory out'.

She detached the first envelope and flicked through the money (various currencies in low denomination, old notes as she suspected it would be) before setting it to one side and reaching for the second, slightly slimmer envelope and pulling out a sheaf of photographs. The right hand sides of them were worn slightly with thumb marks. Jay flipped through them, smirking, smiling, wincing or rolling her eyes ever so slightly depending on the image. After flicking through them all she pulled out one photo and passed it over to the other woman. The photo showed four people- three kids about twelve or thirteen years old standing in a row beside each other and one adult man standing behind the three, resting a hand on the shoulder of the teenager at either end of the row. It would be a classic family photo were it not for the fact that all four were clad in black training gear (t-shirt and shorts for the teenagers, t-shirt and trousers for the adult) and that each person had a sword sheathed across their back and a gun holstered to their leg. Young Jay was the shortest of the three, not quite having hit her growth spurt yet, Jack was the tallest and grinning straight at the camera. The third teenager would be just about recognisable as Quin, her hair was shoulder length and tied into a ponytail as opposed to a buzzcut, but the indigo eyes were unmistakable. The man standing behind them could only be Quin's father, having the same red hair and indigo eyes as his daughter and looking every inch the proud parent.

Elliott couldn't help but roll his eyes ever so slightly when John made a point of emphasising that he was in no way on Zan's side or in favour of the man. He knew John was far too stubborn to change his views on Zan that easily. For John's opinion to go through a complete three-sixty Zan would have to do something pretty fucking spectacular, something that would blow all doubts as to whether he could be trusted right out of the water. Elliott had no idea what kind of action could instil that kind of change in John, and he doubted John did either. "Don't worry, we all know your opinion hasn't changed on him" Elliott then gave a crafty smirk "you two aren't suddenly going to become smoking buddies and bond over bitching about the shittiness of your lives past present and future." John shook his head vigorously, appalled at the mere notion of such a thought. The idea of smoking with Zan was all kinds of repulsive and his abhorrence of that idea was clearly visible on his face. "Pretty sure that would end with me shovin' a cig in his face."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay listened as Jay spoke to her without so much looking at her, instead carefully focusing on doing what she was wanting to with the guitar case. She could tell by this point that it must be a secret compartment that Jay was accessing, especially after she said about if Jack knew Jay knew about it, he'd have changed it if he was still around. She had to smirk slightly at that as it really did sound so typical of sibling behaviour. At Jay's second remark, Kay just smiled unsure which of the two ways Jay was alluding to, but definitely got the woman was alluding to either case. She let Jay do what she was doing, noticing what she was flicking through before taking the photo that Jay was looking at and handed over. It was a level of trust that she didn't think Jay would ever show her, despite Fia's timeline and remarks proving that there was that level of trust at some point. She looked at the photo, just able to to make out who was who and how proud the adult male that was clearly related to the young Quin. She had to smile at various expressions on everyone's faces, seeing how much of a family they looked, which then made her think, was Quin's father Jay's adoptive father? "I'm guessing that's Quin in the photo and her father, was that who adopted you and Jack? You all look rather proud and happy" she remarked whilst asking her question.

When Elliott made his own remark on the fact all of them knew John wouldn't change his opinion of Zan for love nor money so to speak, Fia couldn't help but smirk as well. The very idea of Zan and John becoming smoking partners was in her eyes, one of the most ridiculous ideas ever. She just couldn't picture it at all and seeing John shake his head vigorously as if the very idea offended his very soul, just made it all the more clear how much John detested the man. Yet the moment John replied with shoving a cigarette in Zan's face, Fia had to snigger and stop herself from laughing any harder at the mental image. She could easily see her father do such a thing to someone, which probably to most people wasn't considered a particularly good thing. Yet here she was, easily able to think it.

 

[_gallifrog_]

The photo Jay handed over was the only one in the bundle she felt completely willing to show Kay. The others were all far too personal in or too painful to share, but this one didn't give away that much about her past, just confirmed what she'd been alluding to in the earlier part of their conversation. The assassin may never have said it directly, but whenever she talked about Quin, or her brother, there was always something else being alluded to in the subtext. She had said that her and Quin were raised like siblings, which was the truth, they'd been raised as siblings because they were siblings (though as the strip of photos Fia and John had found showed, the relationship between the two girls had changed as they got older). "It's not exactly a massive secret." Jay shrugged in response to Kay's (correct) words. "But yeah, he did take in the both of us. It's a sort of Isogrii thing, if you're a kid you can't be an only child. It's actually in the law. But the reasons behind it make complete sense- people tend to be tougher and more rounded around the edges when they have siblings, plus having a sibling around instils a healthy sense of competition in you, as well as giving you an ally in life. And since the Isogrii take in a lot of waif, stray and orphan kids from all backgrounds they all need a proper caring family setting to flourish. So finding them foster families is the logical solution really. And from the perspective of an adoptee, it's a damn good system. Isogrii place a massive emphasis on family- the first tattoos and subdermals any kid gets are at the age of thirteen and show your family lines- parents on one arm, siblings on the other." She traced out a pattern on each of her forearms before gesturing at the photo. "That was taken just before we got them". In the photo Quin's father was the only one with the swirling warrior marks of the Isogrii, all three kids' arms were bare.

Like Fia, Elliott could all too easily imagine John attempting to put out a cigarette on his birth father's face, but unlike Fia, he wasn't sure it was such a good thing. John himself had a scar from where his own father had burned him with a cigarette (it had only happened once, but once was enough to scar) and after finally seeing the extent of the melted flesh that was Rinaa's back, his attitude towards firs-induced scars had shifted somewhat. What was reassuring however was John's consistency on the matter. With all these revelations coming left right and centre to say Elliott was all over the place was an understatement. So for John to be this rock of immovable, unchangeable opinion, it was both reassuring and comforting for Elliott. Dan didn't laugh like the others did at the look of disgust and horror on John's face at the notion of becoming smoking buddies with Zan, but the smirk on the blacksmith's face as he continued to eat his sub made it quite clear he had enough of a read on the man to be amused by the comment.

 

[MzHyde]

Kay listened to what Jay explained about how the Isogrii worked when it came to kids or more precisely,fostering/adopting them. It was interesting to hear how certain cultures saw things and acted on certain actions, thinking how what they did was admirable. The way Jay explained it, it didn't come across as just a means for the Isogrii to raise new assassins or warriors, but actually to do right by children as well. She nodded in understanding as Jay gestured at her arms to explain about the tattoos and subdermals, before glancing back at the photo seeing how the kids' arms were bare. "I'm guessing that was one reason why Jack looked so happy?" she asked, handing back the photo to Jay at the same time. She was beginning to think by this stage it could only be fair that Jay saw a photo of herself at a young age, but she knew that required getting her bag from the room she was occupying for sleeping. "their thought process is similar to my own adoptive parents. The moment they realised what had happened when they brought Sam over for a play date, they knew they couldn't let me go into care and go all round the system. At age 9, it only would have gotten harder and harder to place me anywhere which would have been detrimental to my mental health growing up. So they managed to swing through some loop holes and officially adopt me" she explained.

For Fia it wasn't so much as burning someone was a good thing, more of she wasn't sure if it was a good thing that she could easily imagine and see why her father would want to do such an action if he was given a slither of an opening to do it. Yet she also knew their family was far from normal and thought very differently to a normal average family. She noticed the small smirk on Dan's face at everyone being amused by John's reaction. "and now we've mentally scarred him on that very notion, I think the topic should be changed somewhat" she smirked, switching positions yet again sitting cross legged so she didn't have to lean all her weight on her hands and wrists.

 

[_gallifrog_]

As an adult Jay couldn't help but look back on the Isogrii adoption policies with a sort of awe. The system was one completely accepted by all and just made so much intuitive sense. All kids needed a stable parental influence in their lives (even if it was just that of one parent). Having a sibling also made the transition to the Isogrii life easier, kids were far more likely to ask somebody their age about the nuances of society than they were an adult. It wasn't just about taking kids and turning them into killing machines, the welfare of the child was at the centre of the whole process. And since Isogrii always had a gift related to timelines or manipulating time it was easy for a suitably trained and qualified person to scan a kid's timeline to see which family they'd be compatible with.

Jay nodded slowly as Kay shed a bit of light on her own backstory and how she'd ended up being adopted by Sam's family. Jay doubted that anybody else (with the exception of Fia) knew that story just as nobody except Rinaa knew the extent of the story of how she'd become part of the Isogrii. This definitely qualified as a bonding moment and in a way it was nice to talk to somebody who knew what it was like to go through such upheaval so early on in life. Jay also had that in common with Elliott, though he'd been considerably older when that happened to him. "Among other things, he was the one who was always effortlessly smiling and smirking of the two of us, I was the scowler." She then took the photo back with a nod, tucking it back into the sheaf again. "They sound like good people to do that, taking in a kid at such an age is no easy feat. And the older a kid is, the harder it is to find a suitable family." She added, not saying it out loud, but thinking that Elliott had been incredibly lucky in that regard. It was a very special kind of person that could take in a traumatised teenage alien who couldn't speak your language and raise them to become the person Elliott was. John had Jay's respect when it came to that. "It's probably just as well that we were seven when we became planet-less, any older than that and we would have been REALLY fucked up by it and would remember a hell of a lot more about what life was like before the Isogrii."

"Damn right I'm scarred for life." John replied, shaking his head in the hope that if he shook it enough he'd somehow dislodge the notion of him and Zan becoming buddies of any kind. (Unsurprisingly it didn't work). "Yeah we can change the topic, but in a minute" Cal turned to Dan, wanting to be sure that they'd discussed all and been informed of all insights Dan had gotten into the other man. "So just to clarify that's everything of note from your meeting with him?" The blacksmith nodded, swallowing his mouthful of sandwich before speaking. "Yeah, that's all. I'm probably not the best judge of anything, but as a relative outsider and a low-level empath, he's coming across as genuine. Screwed up in the head, but genuine." Cal gave a slow nod in response, not sure whether it was a good or a bad thing that Zan was coming across as genuine to her adoptive father. She'd rather not be betrayed by Zan again, but at the same time she was far from willing to just forgive, forget and move on. Elliott was of the same mindset, falling quiet as he considered the blacksmith's words. He trusted Cal when she said that Dan was like Chas, a good judge of people and situations, somebody whose opinion you should always keep in mind. But it would still take one hell of a miracle for the siblings to ever fully trust and like Zan again. Glancing at her watch Cliff let out a sigh. "Well looks like we'll have to get moving soon if we want to be back in time for the trial."

 

[MzHyde]

Like with Jay, Kay felt it was most certainly a bonding moment between the two of them. They had something in common, something that although they always knew each other were adopted, neither really knew the full extent of it until now. It really did seem to Kay that it was true about people who were adopted really did always find a way of understanding each other and finding common ground. She was also right in thinking no one else truly knew that extent of her backstory other than Fia, not even John who she had never kept her adoption from him. She just never told him the full story, only that because she was so close to Sam and Sam's family were friends with her own parents, she got adopted by them. She had no doubts though that at some point it would all come out, probably if they ever found Sam as Sam was by far the bigger gossip out the two of them. She listened to Jay's reply about Jack, smiling at the remark, before nodding at her comment about Sam's parents, "they are indeed. I'd be lying if I said I didn't give them a lot of hell for a while out of grief, but they kept going with me and not once gave up. They were friends with my mother and father as well, so they were equally grieving. I just didn't see it for a while" she explained. She listened to Jay say more about Quin's father and the isogrii in general, nodding more. "I can get that, as you may or may not know, I was 9 when it happened with me. Lost my mom, dad just walked out because I looked too much like mom. A completely fucked up reason for giving up on your kid if you ask me, so I'm certainly glad I wasn't any older or it would have been so much harder on everyone involved." she replied.

Fia couldn't help but keep smirking at John shaking his head as if it would dislodge and make him forget the thought or mental image. For some things like this, it really made her see an almost childish side to her father an done that made her see where she got her stubborn moments from. She didn't mind talking about it more but it was clear to her and the others that John wanted nothing more than to change subjects if it was at all possible, so when Cal said her agreement to changing subjects, after she got clarification of whether that was all Zan had to say to Dan, she nodded. She noted how Cal took the news from Dan that it was all and there was nothing else to add, before looking at Cliff who let them knoe they'd have to head back soon. "already? That time has gone fast" she remarked.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay listened quietly as Kay gave some details on her adoptive parents and what type of people there were. It was easy to see how fond of them the other woman was, it could be seen in her tone and the edgings of a smile on her face. She could understand not seeing that her foster parents were also grieving, grief like that was an all-consuming thing, something that blocked out everything else and everybody else as Jay herself knew all too well. In the initial weeks and even months following her brother's death she'd been completely inconsolable, just going through the motions of life, speaking in monosyllables. There had been others around her affected by Jack's death, but she was unable to see beyond her own grief and the pain inside of her that came from having your other half ripped away. She and her brother did share a 'twin connection', they may not have had souls, but they still had that connection on a far deeper level than most other siblings.

"I'm not going to say it sounds like it sucked, because obviously a) it did and b) saying that is an understatement of massive proportions. Nor am I going to say something about everybody grieving in their own way and blocking people out is fairly common, we both already know that." Having a parent just walk out like that was a massive blow to any child, especially one that had already suffered such a massive loss and was left emotionally vulnerable as a result. That reason for walking out was, in Jay's mind, complete bullshit. "And I can't say whether it's better to have the memories and be able to them both when things were good and cling to that, or whether it's better to have nothing but fuzzy fragments and be able to move on as there is so little holding you back and what little you have fades as the years progress."

Cliff nodded "unfortunately yes, it has" she replied, while Cal groaned in annoyance as her watch confirmed her wife's words. Cal was beginning to go a little stir-crazy in the courtroom, the novelty of seeing their side's legal team performing so well was beginning to wear off and seeing the same four walls over and over again for so many hours was getting incredibly boring. Not to mention the fact that these days nothing of great excitement had happened, she fully understood that everything being talked (and argued about) was important, but to a lay bystander it came across as boring. At least when Zan had taken the stand he'd well and truly rattled things up a bit. Dan on the other hand made a disgruntled sound of annoyance having hoped to be able to actually finish his sandwich before they had to head back. He'd spend far longer talking to Zan than he intended and it seemed that this was the price he had to pay. "Whose texting the others back at the apartment with what Dan's learned?" Elliott asked, stretching out his arms as he stood back up. "I'll do it, I can type something up as we head back." Cliff replied, getting up from what had been a very comfortable spot on the ground.

 

[MzHyde]

To say that Kay was finding this a good and almost therapeutic bonding session between herself and Jay was quite frankly an understatement. It was so refreshing to be able to talk about this topic with some people me who truly did understand what it was like. She didn't think she'd ever meet anyone who grew up in a very similar manner to herself, so to find Jay was a bit of a relief in some ways. She had never been able to truly talk this through with anyone before as she always did hold things back, knowing it was safer to not let anyone know anything about her history. Yet here this group was, one by one proving that it was okay to open up every now and then because people might just pleasantly surprise you. She listened to what Jay said, nodding in agreement completely, "agreed, there have been many times over the years when I've debated whether the other option would be better or not and never came to a solid decision" she said back to her. "I'll be right back" she added, getting up and going into the spare bedroom where she got her own photo of her adoptive parents, as well as the one with her birth mother, then walked back handing them to Jay.

"that's my folks and Sam with me in the top photo. Taken the day myself and Sam were heading to the airport to come back to London to study" she explained. The photo showing just how much Sam looked like her parents, all three of them having dark brown hair. Only Sam and their father having slightly olive skin, whereas their mother was fair skinned like the slightly younger Kay. Both Sam and Kay in the photos were nearly up to their chins with luggage, backpacks on their backs, cases beside them and hand luggage ontop of the cases. Sam had the bigger grin on her face out of the two of them, clearly showing the excitement of moving back to the UK, where although Kay's face was showing a smile, it was clear to anyone who could read body language that she was terrified of coming back to the place that in her eyes, abandoned her. "the second photo is of me at aged 7 with my birth mother. It's the only one I have of her left" she then explained the second photo.

Seeing and hearing Cal groan her annoyance at having to get up and head back to the court made Fia glad that she wasn't the only one slightly irked over the time disappearing on them so quickly. Like Cal she was also beginning to feel like the same monogamous droning on of voices speaking back to back heavy legal jargon was getting highly boring. She just hoped it wouldn't have to be going on for many more days and they were etching ever so closer to the end. She pulled herself up off the ground and out of natural habit dusted herself down just incase she had any dirt or loose grass on her trousers. She had a feeling it would be Cliff who would do the texting to Kay's phone, as it was Cliff who did it earlier and said to Kay before they left that they'd keep her and Jay updated. She then began the walk back with everyone when the others started walking, feeling so much better for eating and still feeling well and truly stuffed.

 

[_gallifrog_]

"I don't think it's a question that will ever be answered." Jay replied. She didn't add that she'd also spend a considerable amount of time pondering that question, she felt it didn't really need to be said. She was pretty sure that every child who'd had such experiences in their life had asked some version of that question during their lives. While Kay left the room to get the photograph Jay carefully replaced everything in the secret compartment, taping the two envelopes and phone back into place before carefully lowering the foam and felt inserts over it. Some part of her brain was saying she should take the phone and use it to replace the one she'd smashed, but that part was being firmly overruled by the part of her brain that was saying 'this is one of the few things of Jack's you have left, don't do it, don't risk losing and damaging it'.

Jay took the photos one at a time, scrutinising them as she always did with narrowed silver eyes. The resemblance between Sam and her parents was obvious even at a brief glance. With her hair Kay was the odd one out, but Jay knew it wasn't uncommon for there to be an odd-one-out redhead in a biological family as the gene was recessive and had to be had by both parents in order for the hair colour to manifest. The fear in Kay's eyes didn't go amiss either, it was in direct contrast with the expression of delight in Sam's eyes. Jay didn't comment on it however, not feeling that they were anywhere near close enough to discuss such things. What she'd told Kay wasn't particularly groundbreaking the assassin felt, it was just an extension on what was already known, putting some faces to names and some ages to times. Instead she gave a slight smirk at the sheer amount of luggage the two had deemed necessary to bring with them. "There's got to be enough space in all those bags to fit the building materials for an entire house! And is that seriously a hat box?"

When passed the second photo she adopted a more serious attitude again, understanding the significance of the photo and the privilege she was being given to be allowed to see it. Jay hadn't been present for any of the other MindWalks where Kay's mother had made in appearance so this was her first time seeing the woman. the first thing that struck her was the hair. Having grown up with two redheads Jay was well used to the colour (unlike Cal and Cliff), but even she could see that there was something special about this particular hair. Young Kay was also an interesting sight to behold, not looking as much like a younger version of Fia as she'd been expecting. Anything she was going to say was forgotten about when Kay's phone went off, signalling a message.

Cliff was true to her word and composed the message as she walked, eyes glued to the phone, Cal acting as her eyes and gently nudging her wife out of the way of any obstacles in their paths. Cal did it without thinking, it was something she'd always done after teenage Cliff had nearly been run over because her eyes were glued to her phone attempting to write a big long message to her brother. Cliff went back and forth between words, trying to figure out a way to say 'oh by the way Zan's suicidal' without it being so blunt. By the time she reached the courtroom she'd come up with something she was happy with and sent to before turning her phone firmly off. There was no way she was going to go through the humiliation of getting kicked out of the trial because her phone started ringing.

"As promised, an update on what Dan managed to get out of Zan. I doubt it's come up before but Dan's a low-level empath, just enough power to be able to read a person's overwhelming emotions, but not enough to get the nuances or the motivations. What he got from his read of Zan is enlightening to say the least.
1) Zan's not at all happy with his life- as in struggling with serious depression type of unhappy (which does explain why none of us have seen him smile since we started interacting with him).
2) He's being eaten alive by his guilt over everything that's happened (Dan's exact words).
3) The driving force behind everything he's doing is his desire for revenge- looks like the hatred he showed for those pushing the anti-magic agenda with brainwashing and assassinations was legitimate.
4) This one none of us saw coming, and none of us quite know what to think about it- he's suicidal. According to Dan his desire for revenge is stronger than the suicidal thoughts, and that's what's keeping him from acting on them. Dan is one hundred percent he's right on this, he's seen the empathic signature of a suicidal person before and knows what he's talking about.
No plan has been made about what we're going to do next, but I suspect there'll be some form of confrontation- either right after the trial or later on in the day."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay let Jay scrutinise the photos one by one, seeing that it was only fair after Jay let her see the one photo of her own family. The moment Jay started smirking, Kay could only know that it was because of the sheer amount of luggage the two had between her and Sam. Neither thought that they could just have of had their parents ship things over for them over time, instead thinking that they had to take everything they could for their dorm. At the mention of the hat box she chuckled and nodded, "yeah it is. Sam had this obsession with hats, and insisted on piling as many as she could in that box. Think she managed to get about 6 in there somehow. Always wondered if she is still is a hat person" she said remembering the day well. With the next photo, she let Jay look at it with just as much attention, knowing that she would have never seen her mother in any form before now. In fact she was pretty sure John and Chas were the only ones who had seen what her mother looked like. John because she showed a photo of her and Chas due to the book of information in his head. She could only imagine the kinds of thoughts Jay was thinking at seeing her at a mere age 7 and truly happy. She was right to notice how she didn't look nearly as much like young Fia as one would suspect, though Kay hadn't seen any childhood photos of Fia, she did take alot more of her features from John in her younger years, years that weren't as many as a normal child growing up.

Before either of could talk, Kay got distracted by her phone going off, to which she quickly grabbed and opened the message from Cliff. She decided to read it out loud so Jay could hear it straight away, rather than having to read it for herself as it was a long message. As she got to the bit of I formation of Zan being suicidal, Kay found herself having to pause for a moment as she took in what she just read out. She then continued reading the last of the message out before putting the phone down on the coffee table, message still up on the screen. "well....bloody hell" she replied slowly, not really entirely sure on how else to possibly respond to that information. She knew she'd have to reply to Cliff, just to say she got it, told Jay and they'll see them when they get back but she was honestly processing everything first. "I don't know how to respond to that... It certainly explains a few things" she finally managed to speak.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay couldn't help but smirk slightly when it was confirmed that it was indeed a hat box- one loaded with as many pieces of headwear as it was possible for one to fit in it. She wasn't a hat person outside of wearing one for disguise reasons (beanies for instance were very good at covering up ear pieces from view), because they were a mandatory part of the military formal uniform of for practical reasons because it was incredibly cold and she didn't want her ears to freeze off. Her brother on the other hand had been very much a hat person and wore a wide and varied range of them, often picking the most garish and flamboyant one in the shop just to embarrass the hell out of his sister by wearing it in public.

When Kay said that the text was from Cliff, Jay leaned forwards in interest setting the photo to one side. Hearing that Dan was an empath came as a surprise to her, she really hadn't got those vibes off him, but since he was only a low-level, it made sense that he wouldn't have done the classic move of high level empaths of getting completely overwhelmed by emotions, start bleeding from every orifice then black out while bleeding from every orifice. Jay listened with intense interest as Kay read through the text listening as Dan's discoveries were listed out along with Cliff's annotations and comments which echoed Jay's own line of thought. When it came to point four she let out a 'huh' of surprise having not seen that one coming. Sure it hadn't escaped her attention that Zan was far from happy, but suicidal? She hadn't gotten that at all. Her first thought was Elliott and how he'd have taken that piece of news. She knew he was conflicted over everything that was coming to light, and was starting to see his birth father as both a villain and a victim. He had done a small bit of research on the effects of a MindWalker abusing their powers to destroy somebody's mind, but he'd been so disgusted to the core by what he found that he couldn't go any further.

Jay let out a slow breath after Kay finished, causing a loose strand of hair to hover in front of her. She nodded slowly when Kay said it explained a few things. "Yeah, it does.... I put his lack of reaction and very weird calmness to having a gun in his face down to training- all spooks and to an extent freelancers go through that kind of training, torture resistance training. But looking back, it wasn't quite that kind of headspace he was in. He knew full well I'd put a bullet in his brain and was okay with that. He wasn't exactly trying to stop me, you all heard him say which part of the head was better to shoot him in. There WAS fear when I went right up into his face with it, but again, not as much as one would expect.

 

[MzHyde]

If the text from Cliff hadn't of come through on her phone at that precise moment, she would have shown her a photo that she found on it of when Sam made her wear a hat with her one day for an 'impromptu photo shoot'. She only ever had one photo of it when Sam had all the others, insisting that she was going to use them for an art project as proof that Kay knew how to have fun that wasn't drinking in bars and causing a ruckus. Yet the text put a complete halt to that conversation well and truly, even more so after she read it out loud to Jay and gave their initial reactions to it between each other. She then quickly sent a short text back to Cliff, 'bloody hell. Relayed it to Jay, hope the rest of the trial goes well, see you all when you get back, K.' clicking send, she listened to Jay as she put her phone back down on the coffee table. She figured it was only right to let the group at the trial know that she passed on the message to Jay, even if they would have assumed such a thing would have happened. "he did react in some subtle ways, not just the ones you noticed. There was definitely fear in him that's for sure, from where I was I saw him digging his nails so deep into his palm, he was drawing blood slightly. I noticed because its similar to my own tics. I remember thinking or wondering more to the point, if he was trying to call your bluff, but now I'm wondering if he was thinking if he could have used you shooting him as a way out so he wouldn't have to do it himself" she replied.

"Yet I also think his need to bring down this anti magic law and bring it down hard is overpowering everything else, like the others said in the text. But it does make me ponder what he's going to do once this is over. Suicide won't necessarily give Cal and Elliott closure, just leave them even more conflicted about their father. But if Zan doesn't commit suicide then he'll no doubt be successfully assassinated if this trial goes in favour of magic users. Yet it does also question how safe are we gonna be able to keep Elliott to get him off this place" she added. So many thoughts were rushing through her mind with this new revelation that if she wasn't careful or stopped, it would surely trigger a headache, something she hated greatly. If she felt like this, she could only imagine how this news was affecting Elliott and Cal, making her feel glad that they had the others around them so they weren't alone to deal with this.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay made a slight noise of contemplation when Kay said she'd seen Zan digging his his nails into his palms with enough force to break skin and draw blood. Had they not just found out that he was suicidal, Jay would be delighted as it meant she was indeed terrifying the shit out of him and hadn't lost her touch during the years she'd spent on Earth. Kay's theory was scarily valid, there had been an element of 'go on, I dare you, shoot me. I'm not going to stop you'. Zan had by then already proved that he was more than capable of disarming anybody willing to point a weapon in his face. Jay wasn't exactly sure how she was to feel about the fact that he may have been manipulating her in such a way. "I didn't him do that, but it'd make sense. It's a classic tactic, use pain somewhere else to distract you from whatever it is you fear at that moment in time. As for trying to get me to do the deed..... I can believe he'd do that. H'es clearly read enough of my file to know I can get very murdery when there is somebody worth protecting. I was certainly riled up enough to pull that trigger last night. I probably would have shot him in the foot anyway in order to make a point. it was only the fact he was wearing metal toed biker boots that stopped me. That particular brand is bulletproof for the calibre of gun I was using." She added with a casual shrug.

"Well one things for sure, it just makes him more dangerous. Moreso than a normal person willing to die for their cause. Death threats won't work, they'd just give him what he wants. Ditto for torture. If his will to live is really that tenuous, then he'd happily die rather than give anything up knowing that once the information is out whoever had him captured will be at the centre of an ALMIGHTY shit storm. No wonder he made a dead man switch out of making his findings public. If it isn't somebody with a grudge who takes him out, it'll be Zan himself. Either way the information gets leaked out and the government comes crumbling down." She shook head head with a dark chuckle. "I'm actually kinda impressed by that in a morbid sort of way. Zan knows he's a dead man walking and has turned it to his advantage."

Kay's point about what would happen after the information was released was also very valid. If Dan was right (and Cliff was certain he was) and it was only his desire for revenge keeping him from topping himself then after the trial there'd be nothing or nobody to stop him. Cal and Elliott were hardly considered close, and the only relative of Zan's they knew cared was his sister and Jay somehow doubted Bec alone would be enough. "It definitely won't bring them closure, probably the exact opposite, just more questions. His spook file will be sealed and put somewhere beyond my or even Dakkon's reach and with their mother dead, Zan will take all the answers with him to his grave." She then let out a deep, unhappy sigh "as for Elliott, what we really need is some kind of body double that can take his place, not Deke though, he's too obvious as accomplice. Or some form of impenetrable armour that is completely unrecognisable as armour and can be worn without setting off security measures in the court buildings like his magic armour charm thingy would."

 

[MzHyde]

As Kay spoke, she could tell Jay was taking on board everything she was saying and really thinking about it. From the way Jay was, she could tell she wasn't thinking Kay's theories or obversation were too far fetched or invalid. That she actually had a point in what she was saying, which always gave Kay some form of relief within this group of highly intelligent people. She listened to what Jay had to say at first about her first comments on Zan, nodding slowly she found the whole 'dead man switch' make a great deal more sense than it already did the night before. At Jay's comment about being impressed in a morbid way, she couldn't help but smirk at the remark, seeing where she was coming from. "in an equally morbid way I can see why you'd be impressed by the tactic, no one can accuse the man of being stupid that's for sure" she replied before listening to what else Jay had to say.

Hearing that once Zan passed, his spook file would be so highly and tightly shut and out of reach of just anyone wasn't entirely a surprise to hear. She may not know the real spook code of conduct, but something that high up and confidential, it only stood to reason that past spook's files would be under the tightest of security. She nodded every few words of what Jay said, knowing that whatever happened with Zan, it would just create even more questions for the siblings. She listened to Jay's ideas when it came to Elliott amazed that she had clearly been thinking about this before today. "let's hope it won't have to come either and we can all just walk away from this trial with our and Elliott's heads held high so to speak to get back to Earth." she said back, knowing that neither of them could dismiss those options completely, but they should think of them as a last resort option in her mind.