Chitchat I'm the jerk that disappeared.

[Debacle]

Out of the blue. No warning. Zero communication.

Let me preface this by saying I had a few of the most amazing partners. Astounding, really. Especially this one particular writer.

Things were going great. I had several varied and interesting roleplays, communicative, mature partners; all you could ask for really. But things started feeling.... overwhelming. And I didn't feel like I could go to anyone and say "hey, things are getting hard in my life right now. I'm enjoying this, but it also feels like pressure even though you've never put the slightest bit of pressure on me." I knew they'd understand, but I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. And I thought maybe things would just get better and there'd be no need to send out official declarations of ye olde departure.

So what did I do? The brave thing, of course. I completely fell off the grid and stopped roleplaying for.... a year now, I think?

I just wanted to get that off my chest. So share your thoughts. Has someone done you dirty? Did it wound you? Or did you get it and shrug it off? Have you been the one to disappear? I wanna hear about it.

 

[Lord Food Person]

Yes.....I have had it too many times before where I have created a starter n came up wit idea 4 rp only to be ghosted, unfriended, n ignored. Like, I don take shit personally, but 4 real yo? Dis how ppl be 4 real? I can respect it when u jus say, “Nah, fuck dis. I’m out” a lot more then if u jus up n disappear on me n I gotta find out.

 

[The_Omega_Effect]

This is the sort of thing with Rping though. Are you really going to demand commitment when its just a hobby? At some point, one person is bound to just leave/ghost which will leave to the rp dying. I've had many people suddenly disappear on me and I've done the same to many people. It is just the way things are I guess. All rps die eventually. It only survives when the people who are doing it are good friends and they BOTH want to make it last.

 

[Lord Food Person]

This is the sort of thing with Rping though. Are you really going to demand commitment when its just a hobby? At some point, one person is bound to just leave/ghost which will leave to the rp dying. I've had many people suddenly disappear on me and I've done the same to many people. It is just the way things are I guess. All rps die eventually. It only survives when the people who are doing it are good friends and they BOTH want to make it last.

I never rrly demand commitment. Dat would be weird. I do ask dat they jus give me a heads up when they leave. I don mind it. Even if it’s dis emoji: . Hell, it don bother me cause it is jus a hobby n not me life. I don mind when they up n leave but it bothers me when u ask me to start n do everythin else only to leave. Like damn.

 

[The_Omega_Effect]

I never rrly demand commitment. Dat would be weird. I do ask dat they jus give me a heads up when they leave. I don mind it. Even if it’s dis emoji: . Hell, it don bother me cause it is jus a hobby n not me life. I don mind when they up n leave but it bothers me when u ask me to start n do everythin else only to leave. Like damn.

A lot of people that quit don't actually consciously think about quitting. It just sort of happens. They neglect the rp for so long that they forget it ever existed and when they remember, they just let it die instead of dealing with having to defend themselves for neglecting it for so long.

 

[Lord Food Person]

Thats the thing though. A lot of people that quit don't actually consciously think about quitting. It just sort of happens. They neglect the rp for so long that they forget it ever existed and when they remember, they just let it die instead of dealing with having to defend themselves for neglecting it for so long.

I guess ur right. I always tell em dat they can tell me but since I’ve never done dat to someone, then it’s hard 4 me to understand. Since u mentioned it thou, it does kinda make more sense.

 

[CatGirl]

People ghosting an RP is very very common, in fact I'm more surprised if people actually stay on for more than a month lol. I always think that you should RP with people who are also friends with you, and you can share your problems with. I would feel awkward if I knew everyone in that RP wouldn't give a damn even if I died the next day.

 

[Kylesar1]

Commitment is nice and heavily desired in a RP. I don't think there's a single person on this site who DOESN'T want a committed partner/group to RP with.

However, this is just a hobby. I do this for fun, so when it stops being fun, it's time to leave it behind. If a RP is making me miserable, I'm dropping. I don't take ghosting personally. At most I'll be annoyed that I put in the effort in making a character and building the world (a lot of it in a 1x1 setting), but I don't hold grudges. I guess I just don't care anymore.

If I'm bored of a video game, I'll play another video game. If I don't like a RP (and don't see it improving anytime soon), I'll move to a different RP. Asking for a heads-up is mostly a courtesy thing so they know if they should rewrite things instead of let things stagnate first and risk it dying.

You're not wrong for leaving nor are you wrong for choosing to focus on life.

 

[kevintheradioguy]

Has someone done you dirty? Did it wound you? Or did you get it and shrug it off?

Literally every single person I engaged in a RP with on this website. I am getting frustrated and disappointed. By now I do not believe that RP partners even exist any more. I don't think I trust roleplayers any longer?

"Well, I'd never--" NO. They all swore on their mommas' graves they don't ghost people. At least with no warning. And they all ghosted with no warning.

Thing is, not to get disappointed, you have to not get invested into the game. But I cannot even start it, unless invested. What to do? Idk, I just grow bitchier it seems.

 

[Butcher Bird]

Conflict is hard. Ghosting is the path of least resistance especially in comparison to telling someone that your characters aren't jiving, or your writing styles aren't compatible, or you just don't see this roleplay going in in a direction that is compelling or you just don't have the chemistry. On paper, a number of us would be great roleplay partners but we don't really know each other until we've seen actual words on the screen of actual characters and plot. Sometimes someone is too overbearing or they don't give enough. Sometimes, something in your life happens and it's just not the right time anymore. There are so many factors. For me, I see that the right roleplay happens with the right person at the right time with the right plot. Sometimes, things don't completely match up, for whatever reason. It's always disappointing, especially for the one left hanging, but this is a nature of the game.

I brush it off, move on, and carry my characters and ideas with me. Sometimes, I'll incorporate that failed roleplay into backstory. I feel like I'm always learning something new about my characters and about my writing style no matter the outcome of an interaction or a roleplay. But I've always been writing for a really long time and I've become a lot more easy going. I do think, in a way, it's easier to just start and see where things go before getting invested. Then again, I'm a person who lovesssss my pages and pages of plotting lol.

 

[CatGirl]

I'm with butcher bird here. In every single RP I've been in, I've literally been the last person standing with everyone else going inactive around me. I'm very sentimental about my characters and plots we've built, so I never wanna abandon anything I've written, and oft times I make vague personal references to previous dead RPs I've been in, just so that the story stays alive in my own head. Gotta roll with it and not be stopped by disappointment or frustration. I find large group RPs make it harder to be ghosted. You find someone getting less and less active? Quickly move your character to the next person so that character stays alive and active.