Request I'll write a shitty SCP based on your favorite pizza.

[adrian_]

Heres my koalafications (sic):

SCP-5000 outbreak located, releasing MTF Septim-12 "IT Department".

SCP-5000

View attachment 396230
Subject's first post

Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

Site is to be given a continual DDoS (Ended after the thread is successfully deleted) and an amnestic cognitohazardous image will be sent to all known viewers of the thread.

Description:

SCP-5000 is a thread titled "The Happiness thread! " created by user [Redacted] on the date of [Redacted]/[Redacted]/2018, on viewing of the page a subject, therein known as SCP-5000-1, will become joyful, dangerously so, after multiple hours after viewing of SCP-5000 SCP-5000-1 will suffer cardiac arrest and ultimately, die of a heart attack.

Spoiler: Experiment Log

Experiment 1:

D-Class subject is shown the image.

Subject died after four hours of pure joy.

Experiment 2:

D-Class subject diagnosed with chronic depression is shown the image.

Subject immediately commit suicide by breaking the one way mirror and cutting their jugular vein, subject screamed the words: "I'll never be this happy again".

Can't we buy something better than one way mirrors? - Dr. Langley

You know thats not in our budget, Langley. - Dr. Rohn

Experiment 3:

Image is shown to SCP-096.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

(Why did i put time into this?)

SCP-5000 is now classified a possible 'XK' Class end-of-world anomaly.

 

[eclipsa]

taco pizza

 

[adrian_]

taco pizza

Spoiler: SCP-4001 resting.

SCP-4001

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4001 is to be contained in a standard avian cage and located in a structurally sound concrete building in [REDACTED], Ecuador, SCP-4001 will have it's wings clipped, so that widespread damage cannot occur.

Description: SCP-4001 is a blue and white coloured parakeet recovered from a suburban home in [REDACTED], SCP-4001 presents standard and healthy behaviour expected of a parakeet. SCP-4001 can create vibrations upwards of [REDACTED] kHz through the beating of it's wings, resulting in the destruction of multiple homes, and injuries upwards of the dozens nearby Site-93. It has been shown that SCP-4001 beats it's wings when distressed, showing that it acknowledges it's ability, experiments are being run to discover whether or not it can be trained to work with MTF groups.

Addendum: I wrote this one because i consider the personality of Parakeets very strange, wholesome, pretty loving. I also consider taco pizza strange, wholesome, and loving. Mmm...

 

[eclipsa]

Spoiler: SCP-4001 resting.

View attachment 451504

SCP-4001

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4001 is to be contained in a standard avian cage and located in a structurally sound concrete building in [REDACTED], Ecuador, SCP-4001 will have it's wings clipped, so that widespread damage cannot occur.

Description: SCP-4001 is a blue and white coloured parakeet recovered from a suburban home in [REDACTED], SCP-4001 presents standard and healthy behaviour expected of a parakeet. SCP-4001 can create vibrations upwards of [REDACTED] kHz through the beating of it's wings, resulting in the destruction of multiple homes, and injuries upwards of the dozens nearby Site-93. It has been shown that SCP-4001 beats it's wings when distressed, showing that it acknowledges it's ability, experiments are being run to discover whether or not it can be trained to work with MTF groups.

Addendum: I wrote this one because i consider the personality of Parakeets very strange, wholesome, pretty loving. I also consider taco pizza strange, wholesome, and loving. Mmm...

incredible. 10/10 stars

 

[adrian_]

incredible. 10/10 stars

thanks dad

 

[eclipsa]

thanks dad

*wipes tear* you're welcome, son. i'm so proud of you.

 

[VioletDieselPunk]

Pizza with chicken with bacon and drizzled with BBQ sauce.

 

[Caroline1539]

Pizza with pepperoni and black olives!

 

[Corrosion]

Anchovy and pineapple pizza is definitely going to be classified as Apollyon.

 

[Daisie]

I'm not a huge fan of pizza.

 

[BushiesHedge]

I'm not a huge fan of pizza.

Why are you here then?

While it's nowhere near as close as my favorite pizza, do Pineapple Pizza.

 

[Daisie]

Why are you here then?

Because I want to see what SCP he makes, if any.

 

[BushiesHedge]

Ok fair enough

But how can you not be a fan of pizza? Are you even a human person?

 

[Daisie]

Ok fair enough

But how can you not be a fan of pizza? Are you even a human person?

Human? What's that?

Actually, pizza is OK sometimes. I just have trouble with the mass amounts of cheese they often pour on there. And the grease. Just not my thing.

 

[BushiesHedge]

 

[adrian_]

Pizza with chicken with bacon and drizzled with BBQ sauce.

Spoiler: SCP-4002

SCP-4002

Object Class: Keter/Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: No effective means of stopping SCP-4002 have been found as of yet, a probe has been launched to study SCP-4002.

Description: SCP-4002 is a spatial anomaly located in the Norma Arm of the Milky Way galaxy, it appears as a blinding light, unlike a neutron star, as it is denser than a neutron star meaning that it is the densest item in the known universe. SCP-4002 emits matter, constantly altering it's density and bringing it closer to a possible XK class scenario. The Foundation currently has minimal information on SCP-4002 and is working to gain more.

 

[A_Writer]

Sicilian, extra cheese, corner piece

 

[adrian_]

I'm currently away from home, so be patient as my connection is trash. I will do my best to write for everybody.

 

[VioletDieselPunk]

Spoiler: SCP-4002

View attachment 451923

SCP-4002

Object Class: Keter/Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: No effective means of stopping SCP-4002 have been found as of yet, a probe has been launched to study SCP-4002.

Description: SCP-4002 is a spatial anomaly located in the Norma Arm of the Milky Way galaxy, it appears as a blinding light, unlike a neutron star, as it is denser than a neutron star meaning that it is the densest item in the known universe. SCP-4002 emits matter, constantly altering it's density and bringing it closer to a possible XK class scenario. The Foundation currently has minimal information on SCP-4002 and is working to gain more.

 

[Zaikeiil]

Chicken and onion

 

[Dreamtique]

Tuna Temptation

 

[adrian_]

Pizza with pepperoni and black olives!

Spoiler: SCP-4003-J

SCP-4003-J

Object Class: Put it in a box and it's fine.

Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: It can be pretty easily be thrown in a woodchipper if it kills somebody or something, i don't know, i'm probably gonna go make Pesterbot watch a re-run of Robot Wars after this, may do something else, who knows.

Description: SCP-Iforgotthenumber-J is a phenomenon affecting multiple staff members of Site-93 at the moment, they can't really explain stuff well, and it's pretty weird, but i mean, it's funny to watch Dr. Parthing try to explain his lunch order to the Cafeteria staff, he just kind of has trouble with it, we should get working on it, but i'm too lazy to try right now.

Spoiler: Addendum

Dr. Lawson has been terminated and [DATA EXPUNGED], SCP-4000-ish has been neutralized.

 

[adrian_]

Anchovy and pineapple pizza is definitely going to be classified as Apollyon.

Spoiler: SCP-4004-J

SCP-4004-J

Object Class: Tiamat

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4004-J will be encased in a layer of bulletproof plastic, then put in the possession of three D-Class subjects, all of them will need to be known worshippers of each Abrahamic faith, and will recite all three main books once a week, if any words are stuttered or skipped, they will be immediately subjected to an occult sacrifice to Baphomet and the remains destroyed in one nuclear explosion.

One singular ash from their corpse will be used in the grain from a singular 50. Caliber, high explosive, armour piercing bullet in an American-made Barret sniper rifle, that bullet will then be used to kill both other D-Class, the sniper will be an E-sports player, they must be well versed in quickscoping and will use a highly detailed humanoid android to kill both D-Class through 360-degree noscope, the remains will be T-bagged and purged by fire.

The E-sports player will then be administered F-Class amnestics and be terminated in a car "accident" and blamed on Google, if the amnestics do not clear the Player's memory completely, the accident will be blamed on Youtube.

The entirety of Site-93 will then be obliterated through use of napalm, but only after a true-to-life rendition of the movie 'Cabin In The Woods' is created in the Site's cafeteria, the Vojvodina province of Serbia will then be annexed by the Foundation under the name: "The United Collective of Brooklyn" and will fight for the purity of all pizza and will ally with a fellow Foundation pizza purity-related terrorist organization set in [REDACTED], New York. SCP-4004-J will then, hopefully, be destroyed.

Description: SCP-4004-J is a [REDACTED], [REDACTED]. [DATA EXPUNGED] created by [REDACTED]. The Care-Bears will be [DATA EXPUNGED]. It was discovered in [DATA EXPUNGED].

Spoiler: Addendum

I hope you got what you wanted, you monster. Corrosion

 

[DarkD1vinity]

Boneless Pizza

 

[AnthonyG]

Hawaiian Pizza without the peppers and with the cherries!