Other How would you handle first contact with aliens?

[Windsock]

Let's say we begin receiving signals from an alien species that, either in part or entirely, use similar technology to our own, such as radio waves, laser communications, or whatever other method we can pick up and hypothetically understand. Or they land on the planet. Or the moon. Or we just see a spaceship enter our solar system that isn't one of ours, and we know we can communicate with it. The point is, we can now communicate with sentient or 'aware' life that uses, by the slightest measure or unnervingly similar, technology compatible with our own, so we can both communicate (with possible difficulty).


You were selected to be the central speaker for the entirety of the human race for this momentous occasion.


What do you say or do to the aliens, if they landed on our planet and walked up to you with their own arbitrary number of legs? What if you beamed a signal to their alien spacecraft that landed on or orbits another of our planets? What if their spaceship was just passing into the solar system?



As you can probably guess, you can make your own assumptions and theories why they could be here. I'm trying to keep it ambiguous.


What do you think?

 

[Yang Xiao Long]

So first things first, I would hold a massive reception for our new "friends". Once that is done I would make sure they can't phone home, kill them all, and take their technology. 


I would then reverse engineer the tech to take control of our world and start my own little (or not so little) Terran Empire. I would then widdle away the years creating as big of an army and battle fleet as I could and take the galaxy by surprise conquering as many alien worlds as possible!

 

[Shelter]

Keep them away from television and youtube for now. We need to convince them we are a competent race. Start learning their culture and biological functions, what you don't know can start an alien takeover.

 

[Windsock]

How're you so sure they're bringing their 'intergalactic conquest' levels of technology with them? You can't reverse-engineer what you don't have. A diplomatic or even just exploratory mission isn't going to pack their equivalent of invasion-ready armored fighting vehicles, aerial vehicles, transports, strategic weapons, and even the logistical needs for such weapons.


Plus, how can you be so sure they don't have a 'fail-deadly' switch of some kind for such an occasion? Maybe as soon as they die or their ship can't pick up their life-signs they send a signal to the homeworld that says 'these guys are assholes, blow up their sun.'. They're logically going to be an older and more technologically advanced race; they can cross interstellar distances! That takes tech we don't have. Plus, maybe the way they power their technology is going to be so different from what we can expect and how we even theorize we can construct those things that we'd be like cavemen bumbling with a nuclear reactor.


They could be a hive-mind, and when the central consciousness notes it hasn't felt the sensations of friendly-happy-fun-time-body #30135913592 in a century, it could send a planet-killer our way as a precaution.


Of course, in a perfect scenario, I'd do exactly the same thing lmao.

 

[Windsock]

Keep them away from television and youtube for now. We need to convince them we are a competent race. Start learning their culture and biological functions, what you don't know can start an alien takeover.

It's possible that they'd be more impressed with the existence and the fact we CAN afford to be so stupid as a culture.


What's more impressive; a guy who can get shot in the face, or a guy who can get shot in the face and still function?


Aside, I like your reasoning. Know what you're dealing with is always good.


Edit: wait.. why did I double post?

 

[Lost Swordlance]

Like in the films :


"Ratatatata 'merica"


Unless those are Asari or Twi'lek 

 

[Vudukudu]

Any alien species capable of communicating with us has either mastered vastly faster than light communications or travel, or otherwise it wouldn't be practical. That said, sending a ship to kill us is a waste of time when they could easily smash an asteroid into us at the speed of light. Fair to assume any alien contact we have, then, is of the "We think you guys are adorable and wanted to get a closer look" variety and not the "Here to kill you and take your ______ that we can artificially generate anyway." 


Demonstrate the Pythagorean theorem. Its easily depicted without language if one actually knows the proof behind it, and it shows them we understand mathematical principles. While language is a difficult hurdle to overcome, especially if they aren't like us and don't communicate verbally, we always have the trusty binary system to resort to. Any spacefaring species, save for the unlikely "living ship" variety, is going to have computers. Even in the event that they have outmoded binary for some sort of hyper-efficient, extra-dimensional coding shenanigans, they will likely recognize the concept of binary coding instantly. Frankly, its too simple not to be understood, especially by any advanced species. If basic communication is already achieved, we could quite reasonably compress both languages into code and allow a computer to do the translation for us. While syntax and grammar and sentence structure would take time to learn, you can understand the meaning of the words "Man Jump Distance" to mean something roughly similar to "The man jumps far." 


While that's not exactly smooth, its the foundation for establishing a sensible common language, and from there I politely ask them how they generate enough energy to bend spacetime and if I could please borrow one such power source. If they have the capacity to generate near infinite energy, hopefully they aren't loath to part with one generator.

 

[Idea]

"You come in peace. You come in peace. You come in peace... Have I brainwashed them yet?"

 

[Birdsie]

HOW TO DOMINATE THE UNIVERSE.


GUIDE BY BIRDSIE, IN STEPS.


Hello! With these easy, five steps, YOU can dominate the universe!

1. Wait for the aliens to arrive.
   
2. Greet them and show them the internet.
   
3. Once their brains melt completely, dissect them, take their technology and reverse-engineer it.
   
4. Use the newly discovered technology to assemble a powerful army with immeasurable strength.
   
5. Use it to take over the universe and make mankind reign supreme. All glory to the God-Emperor!
   

 

[Vudukudu]

Also, I give them an mp3 file of "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence as a parting gift and tell them its a key part of our musical culture as a species. 

 

[Novislav Đajić]

I would just yell "Leave! Too many liberals here!"

 

[Axel The Englishman]

I would most likely say "Get me off this damn planet! Nearly everyone's a fucking arsehole!"

 

[Novislav Đajić]

I would most likely say "Get me off this damn planet! Nearly everyone's a fucking arsehole!"

Just make a longer sentence "Get me off this damn planet! Too many people still think Communism works!"

 

[Axel The Englishman]

Just make a longer sentence "Too many people still think Communism works!"

Or possibly, "People drink smart water! SMART WATER!!"

 

[Novislav Đajić]

Or possibly, "People drink smart water! SMART WATER!!"

Or even possibly: "People think communism believes in pacifism!"

 

[Axel The Englishman]

Or even possibly: "People think communism believes in pacifism!"

Or maybe, "Mainstream Pop! MAINSTREAM POOOOOOOOOOP!!"

 

[Novislav Đajić]

Or maybe, "Mainstream Pop! MAINSTREAM POOOOOOOOOOP!!"

Or even "Mainstream Rap! They sound like autobots!"

 

[Axel The Englishman]

Or even "Mainstream Rap! They sound like autobots!"

No wonder we haven't been visited by Aliens yet. It's not like we haven't found them, they just avoid us and our shitty little society.

 

[adrian_]

Fucking run.

 

[Novislav Đajić]

No wonder we haven't been visited by Aliens yet. It's not like we haven't found them, they just avoid us and our shitty little society.

True, true, and if they visit(ed) us, it's probably going to be waaaayyy back in the time, if they discovered time travel.

Fucking run.

But they can just hunt you down...


easily...

 

[adrian_]

Just now, #08 said:



True, true, and if they visit(ed) us, it's probably going to be waaaayyy back in the time, if they discovered time travel.


But they can just hunt you down...


easily...




 

Oh.


I was thinking of the War of the Worlds type aliens but whatever.

 

[Novislav Đajić]

Oh.


I was thinking of the War of the Worlds type aliens but whatever.

War of the Worlds aliens <<<<<<<<<< HL2 Combine


inb4 flame war

 

[Windsock]

Hl2 combine <<< ELS <<< Armored Core 2 Martians <<< Stellaris Unbidden/Prethoryn <<< From The Depths Scarlet Dawn <<< Independence Day Aliens <<< Fallout Zetans <<< Supreme Commander Seraphim <<< Invader Zim


git on my level


@#08

 

[IG42]

Ask if there are any demolition orders we should know about.

 

[Novislav Đajić]

Hl2 combine <<< ELS <<< Armored Core 2 Martians <<< Stellaris Unbidden/Prethoryn <<< From The Depths Scarlet Dawn <<< Independence Day Aliens <<< Fallout Zetans <<< Supreme Commander Seraphim <<< Invader Zim


git on my level


@#08

Hl2 combine <<< ELS <<< Armored Core 2 Martians <<< Stellaris Unbidden/Prethoryn <<< From The Depths Scarlet Dawn <<< Independence Day Aliens <<< Fallout Zetans <<< Supreme Commander Seraphim <<< Invader Zim <<< Little Einsteins 


git gud