Advice/Help How to remove an RPer from a group in a Nice Way?

[KuonnaAi101]

Preface:
I'm running a group RP, not on RPNation, but on another site. I had required my RP to be Semi-literate for the RPers,: my definition of Semi-literate is 4 minimum sentences in 2 paragraphs and having basic understanding of grammar and spelling. My assumption (maybe this is my fault) is that the people who asked to join would understand the requirements and fulfill this. I ran my RP for the first time reading the posts of the other RPers, that's when I ran across the post I'm having problems with. At first, I let it slide in hopes that it was just the first post and it was going to get better. But it pretty much stayed within level and when comparing the posts of the other RPers I felt quite conflicted. I could also see the distance between the RPers from this specific RPer because they probably did not like the way she wrote so none of the characters were approaching her.
The problem I'm facing is that this writer is not writing within the standards of the RP and with the minimum standards of the other writers. As host of the RP, I wasn't sure how to handle this because I feel guilty for the other writers since they clearly did not want to write with her since they were not having their characters approach her. Also, I felt bad for the other writer because after doing some investigation on the person I realized that this person is a non-native speaker (she never referenced this to me when applying) and maybe she is practicing her english. However, to be honest, I personally felt that my RP is not meant for practice as per se I set the writing level to be Beginner, then I would not have mind.

So my question is....
How would you personally handle this in a nice way?

Example Writing of the Person:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Jump little up and down, then look quickly confused around herself in island trying gather herself up. Instead of that jumps few meters up when see the island. `Pull yourself up young woman or whatever you are` I was thinking. `That`s not appropiate` I continued thinking and slap myself accidentally at face. `Great, now I look stupid then` I was thinking embrassed. `Breath Apillonia breath` I repeated myself time after time and breath once more very deep in and out. Then I stretched few times with some yoga movements, then I pulled myself up and looked once again around me wishing that no one did`t see that first reaction, then I refined my glance front and saw girl, women, whatever she was front of me, then I glued my eyes side to that women. `Are that a some kind of bird` I was thinking myself, then I grapped bag side of me. `I hope that no one is bothered, that I took my yoga gear with me` I thinked. `I must be dreaming again` I think in my head. `Hey stop that thinking even for one second` I ordered myself and I sighed deep, I fixed little my clothes before I continued my journey. That women welcomed us all and order us everyone go inside. `That`s fine by me` I was thinking, then I opened door and leap inside. "Woah" I said for my last word.

Example Writing of the Other Writers:

Spoiler: Spoiler

It had been a mostly normal morning, she fed her animals and made sure Emily was coming to take her spot at the RC. She packed her truck and sighed, she knew she was secretly excited to find love. She had driven to the dock that the yacht would pick her up from and she could feel nerves bubbling in her stomach the whole way to the dock. Mae had been the one who signed her up for the show and Blue was the one who had been secretly teaching her how to be a girly girl. Using makeup, getting cute clothes having a sense of style you name it, since she didn’t have a mother or sister who would have taught her. She laughed, the Rayson's were probably the only reason she was alive and as successful as she was today. She sighed as the dock came into view. ”Here goes nothing….”

⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱

This was actually happening, she was actually going to be on a game show where millions of people would watch her for the duration of the show. She had only packed the night before due to her battling feelings on the matter, on one side she wanted to go because there was that slight near impossible chance she could actually find love, and on the other side was the other 99% chance that she would just be wasting her time. Serene finally convinced herself that if anyone asked she would just say she is trying to help fund her rehabilitation center and if they pried further or didn’t buy her story she would go with the corny response of trying to find a connection to someone.

Serene made sure to pack absolutely everything, sunscreen, snacks, all kinds of clothes, and even a first aid kit. She made sure nothing would be overlooked and forgotten, she liked being prepared for all the possibilities. Her eyes moved towards the crystal blue sea, it was breathtaking and she found herself smiling as she stared. Her eyes flicked up as she heard voices signaling it was time to get ready to drop her off on the island. She took a shaky breath before gathering her rather large suitcase and her backpack, which she was surprised the zippers hadn’t busted open yet. She shook her head, the trip had been lonely since she wasn’t allowed to bring any of her animals with her, so she had plenty of time to think. She was going to be on a love show, she had only felt love from the Ryason family and it wasn’t anything romantic so she was wondering if she was even going to feel capable of love for another person not really knowing what it was like, let alone attracting someone to love her.

Serene looked at the island that was even more beautiful than the sea she had spent hours on. She walked towards a mansion where it looked like other people were there. A tal man was standing still with a bird as she walked closer, the sound of her suitcase being the only thing to confirm her location. She gave a quick glance easily identifying the bird’s species from less than 10 feet away, she smiled hoping there were other animals on the island. She wanted to get a good spot and didn’t want to be rude and stare so she quickly looked away. She looked around seeing other men and women. They all had at least one thing in common, they all were wanting to win the grand prize. The prize would help run her rehabilitation center for 3 months at least. They were all so attractive and she started to feel her hope slip away. Of course she wouldn’t find anyone here, this was a stupid idea. She didn’t let the disappointing feelings affect her outward appearance, she wouldn’t allow herself to let others see she felt like she already lost.

 

[rae2nerdy]

So is anyone else writing in first person? Cuz that might be a nice way of pointing out the difference.

ex. “I’m sorry everyone else is writing in third person would you mind writing in third person as well?”

Maybe offer to help her change a recent post just to give her an example. If it continues then get a bit more firm.

“I’m sorry but I would like to keep all post to third person perspective. If you are not comfortable writing in that manner than I would prefer you leave.”

If she causes a scene then just hold firm or block her. Whichever is less stressful for you as a person.

 

[KuonnaAi101]

So is anyone else writing in first person? Cuz that might be a nice way of pointing out the difference.

ex. I’m sorry everyone else is writing in third person would you mind writing in third person as well?

Maybe offer to help her change a recent post just to give her an example. If it continues then get a bit more firm.

“I’m sorry but I would like to keep all post to third person perspective. If you are not comfortable writing in that manner than I would prefer you leave.”

If she causes a scene then just hold firm or block her. Whichever is less stressful for you as a person.

No one is writing in first* person. I'm also worries about the post length since everyone is writing at greater lengths. How could I mention it?

 

[rae2nerdy]

The second post is in third person perspective. I would not mention the length because it seems to fit the requirements you set? (Or that might just be on my mobile)

But because she is writing from first person ( I did blah blah ) and the other person is writing from third person ( she did blah blah ) you can mention that difference as being something that affects the roleplay.

 

[KuonnaAi101]

Sorry I meant to write first. I think it's just your mobile because the average length of the other writers is the Second post I placed and the other writer typically writes a single paragraph a post, which does not meet the requirements.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Ah in that case maybe bringing up that the requirement is two paragraphs not one in addition to the third vs first person.

 

[Crayons]

Tell them that your requirement is X and that they aren't fulfilling it. Ask them if they need help to fulfil it. Give them one more chance with their next post and then if they haven't changed say "Sorry you don't meet the requirements" and bid them farewell.

It's that simple.

Telling people to leave an RP doesn't de facto make you an awful person. It's fine, and you will absolutely have to do it at least once if you're in this game long enough.

 

[rainywrites]

yeah. you do have to remove people from rps if they don't fit the group's style. wish them well, give them some ways to improve, and if they don't... not every group is a perfect fit for everybody

 

[Rusty of Shackleford]

I've had this happen before, so I have some experience. My advice is to contact them privately, and ask them to leave politely. If they refuse, get the admins involved, since most sites allow you to kick anyone for any reason.

 

[MechanicalSnake]

I feel that telling someone to leave is something one has to do sometimes. And sometimes one is told to leave, too. It is always unpleasant, but the clearly and openly you do it, the better.
In this case, I would just tell them what you told us: "Hello, my requirements were this and that, I would really like for people to meet them, could you change this or that about your posts please? Would you like me to help you change it?"
If there has been no change after that, I would probably just tell them "I am very sorry but unfortunately, you are not a good match for this RP,-reasons-" At this point, you will likely make them sad, but if you let it continue, other people there would be sad too, and this person would eventually be sad anyway, cause it couldn't go on like that forever. So it is better just to openly address a problem .
Whatever you do, dont ghost them and/or hope theyll figure out there is a problem on their own!

 

[Franklin]

Preface:
I'm running a group RP, not on RPNation, but on another site. I had required my RP to be Semi-literate for the RPers,: my definition of Semi-literate is 4 minimum sentences in 2 paragraphs and having basic understanding of grammar and spelling. My assumption (maybe this is my fault) is that the people who asked to join would understand the requirements and fulfill this. I ran my RP for the first time reading the posts of the other RPers, that's when I ran across the post I'm having problems with. At first, I let it slide in hopes that it was just the first post and it was going to get better. But it pretty much stayed within level and when comparing the posts of the other RPers I felt quite conflicted. I could also see the distance between the RPers from this specific RPer because they probably did not like the way she wrote so none of the characters were approaching her.
The problem I'm facing is that this writer is not writing within the standards of the RP and with the minimum standards of the other writers. As host of the RP, I wasn't sure how to handle this because I feel guilty for the other writers since they clearly did not want to write with her since they were not having their characters approach her. Also, I felt bad for the other writer because after doing some investigation on the person I realized that this person is a non-native speaker (she never referenced this to me when applying) and maybe she is practicing her english. However, to be honest, I personally felt that my RP is not meant for practice as per se I set the writing level to be Beginner, then I would not have mind.

So my question is....
How would you personally handle this in a nice way?

Example Writing of the Person:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Jump little up and down, then look quickly confused around herself in island trying gather herself up. Instead of that jumps few meters up when see the island. `Pull yourself up young woman or whatever you are` I was thinking. `That`s not appropiate` I continued thinking and slap myself accidentally at face. `Great, now I look stupid then` I was thinking embrassed. `Breath Apillonia breath` I repeated myself time after time and breath once more very deep in and out. Then I stretched few times with some yoga movements, then I pulled myself up and looked once again around me wishing that no one did`t see that first reaction, then I refined my glance front and saw girl, women, whatever she was front of me, then I glued my eyes side to that women. `Are that a some kind of bird` I was thinking myself, then I grapped bag side of me. `I hope that no one is bothered, that I took my yoga gear with me` I thinked. `I must be dreaming again` I think in my head. `Hey stop that thinking even for one second` I ordered myself and I sighed deep, I fixed little my clothes before I continued my journey. That women welcomed us all and order us everyone go inside. `That`s fine by me` I was thinking, then I opened door and leap inside. "Woah" I said for my last word.

Example Writing of the Other Writers:

Spoiler: Spoiler

It had been a mostly normal morning, she fed her animals and made sure Emily was coming to take her spot at the RC. She packed her truck and sighed, she knew she was secretly excited to find love. She had driven to the dock that the yacht would pick her up from and she could feel nerves bubbling in her stomach the whole way to the dock. Mae had been the one who signed her up for the show and Blue was the one who had been secretly teaching her how to be a girly girl. Using makeup, getting cute clothes having a sense of style you name it, since she didn’t have a mother or sister who would have taught her. She laughed, the Rayson's were probably the only reason she was alive and as successful as she was today. She sighed as the dock came into view. ”Here goes nothing….”

⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱⋱ ⋱ ⋱ ⋱

This was actually happening, she was actually going to be on a game show where millions of people would watch her for the duration of the show. She had only packed the night before due to her battling feelings on the matter, on one side she wanted to go because there was that slight near impossible chance she could actually find love, and on the other side was the other 99% chance that she would just be wasting her time. Serene finally convinced herself that if anyone asked she would just say she is trying to help fund her rehabilitation center and if they pried further or didn’t buy her story she would go with the corny response of trying to find a connection to someone.

Serene made sure to pack absolutely everything, sunscreen, snacks, all kinds of clothes, and even a first aid kit. She made sure nothing would be overlooked and forgotten, she liked being prepared for all the possibilities. Her eyes moved towards the crystal blue sea, it was breathtaking and she found herself smiling as she stared. Her eyes flicked up as she heard voices signaling it was time to get ready to drop her off on the island. She took a shaky breath before gathering her rather large suitcase and her backpack, which she was surprised the zippers hadn’t busted open yet. She shook her head, the trip had been lonely since she wasn’t allowed to bring any of her animals with her, so she had plenty of time to think. She was going to be on a love show, she had only felt love from the Ryason family and it wasn’t anything romantic so she was wondering if she was even going to feel capable of love for another person not really knowing what it was like, let alone attracting someone to love her.

Serene looked at the island that was even more beautiful than the sea she had spent hours on. She walked towards a mansion where it looked like other people were there. A tal man was standing still with a bird as she walked closer, the sound of her suitcase being the only thing to confirm her location. She gave a quick glance easily identifying the bird’s species from less than 10 feet away, she smiled hoping there were other animals on the island. She wanted to get a good spot and didn’t want to be rude and stare so she quickly looked away. She looked around seeing other men and women. They all had at least one thing in common, they all were wanting to win the grand prize. The prize would help run her rehabilitation center for 3 months at least. They were all so attractive and she started to feel her hope slip away. Of course she wouldn’t find anyone here, this was a stupid idea. She didn’t let the disappointing feelings affect her outward appearance, she wouldn’t allow herself to let others see she felt like she already lost.

I'm going to give another perspective here. I went though this exact situation. I was writing a role play that was very historically based and I had thought I communicated my expectations clearly. I had a member apply with a character that was very challenging to work with. This person also wrote in mixed first person and even broke some rules of keeping on track with historical accuracy. I don't think this person was doing any of this on purpose but it was a bit disruptive all the same. A lot of players seemed turned off from the disregard for rules. I'm someone who really likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know what its like to feel crushed when people kick you for not meeting requirements. So, generally, I don't boot people out for their literacy. I actually worked with this person and developed some plots. It took some effort but eventually I got this person to the literacy standard they needed to be. I even got to know this person and they were really cute and adorable. They just needed some guidance. However, I know this doesn't always work for every role play situation. You have not only you and this person but a whole group to appease.

It all boils down to how much time you have to invest in helping this person and how much they are willing to invest into improving. Give them heavy feedback and a time limit. Perhaps a week to get their posts in sort? Or whatever time line works. I usually only boot people if they have been significantly inactive or have given some heavy attitude. If you give them an opportunity to change and they don't. That could be seen as not putting forth effort. Even if its not their native language. I'm certain once you communicate this they may bow out naturally.

Use words like , " I really want you to be successful in the role play but in order to achieve this you need to post the required post count. I sincerely apologies this wasn't clearly communicated to you. However, I can try my best to work with you and perhaps we may find a solution. Although, if you don't meet the requirements in (blah blah date) I will have to remove you from this role play. I can empathize with how sometimes meeting goals is difficult.Perhaps I could help steer you into the direction of a role play more geared towards your literacy level. Again, I really love all my writers and members to be successful. How can I help you reach your goal? "


I hope this helps and good luck!

PS: Whatever you decide to do. It's important to note you have to appease yourself as much as everyone else too. Sometimes we really amp ourselves for this conversation to be a negative one. Though, generally if you go into it feeling neutral or positive. The conversation will end positive.

 

[KuonnaAi101]

I'm going to give another perspective here. I went though this exact situation. I was writing a role play that was very historically based and I had thought I communicated my expectations clearly. I had a member apply with a character that was very challenging to work with. This person also wrote in mixed first person and even broke some rules of keeping on track with historical accuracy. I don't think this person was doing any of this on purpose but it was a bit disruptive all the same. A lot of players seemed turned off from the disregard for rules. I'm someone who really likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know what its like to feel crushed when people kick you for not meeting requirements. So, generally, I don't boot people out for their literacy. I actually worked with this person and developed some plots. It took some effort but eventually I got this person to the literacy standard they needed to be. I even got to know this person and they were really cute and adorable. They just needed some guidance. However, I know this doesn't always work for every role play situation. You have not only you and this person but a whole group to appease.

It all boils down to how much time you have to invest in helping this person and how much they are willing to invest into improving. Give them heavy feedback and a time limit. Perhaps a week to get their posts in sort? Or whatever time line works. I usually only boot people if they have been significantly inactive or have given some heavy attitude. If you give them an opportunity to change and they don't. That could be seen as not putting forth effort. Even if its not their native language. I'm certain once you communicate this they may bow out naturally.

Use words like , " I really want you to be successful in the role play but in order to achieve this you need to post the required post count. I sincerely apologies this wasn't clearly communicated to you. However, I can try my best to work with you and perhaps we may find a solution. Although, if you don't meet the requirements in (blah blah date) I will have to remove you from this role play. I can empathize with how sometimes meeting goals is difficult.Perhaps I could help steer you into the direction of a role play more geared towards your literacy level. Again, I really love all my writers and members to be successful. How can I help you reach your goal? "


I hope this helps and good luck!

PS: Whatever you decide to do. It's important to note you have to appease yourself as much as everyone else too. Sometimes we really amp ourselves for this conversation to be a negative one. Though, generally if you go into it feeling neutral or positive. The conversation will end positive.

I really liked what you and everyone else wrote about my situation. To be honest, I did not think of trying to help the writer in improving their writing. I was worried on how I could properly teach her how to improve her English writing because the kind of errors were mostly the sentence structure and grammar, rather than the post length. I feel like I would end up giving a whole English lesson on the Where, What, and Whys of her post and I feel like I am not trained enough to teach her the English writing guidelines while also making sure she understands why you write a certain way and all that. Also, the English language itself can be confusing when teaching it especially when you start inserting colloquialism, haha! Maybe this is more of a me problem because throughout my time in high school and college when it came to revising paper works for group projects I'd try to explain to my peers how to revise it and if the results do not come out as instructed, then I end up revising the whole thing myself.
So this problem reflects in my writing for RPs as well because I did have a similar problem the only difference was the person was not writing enough even though they were given a long post by another person (I had to mediate the situation). I tried instructing the person how they could lengthen their posts by giving them examples and they took my advise, so they revised their post. However, it only worked in that singular post because their next post was short again and I ended up helping the person again to write their post. It felt like I was in a way writing for the person because I was constantly "revising" with them, which took a lot of time in the RP because I was not only writing my posts I was also revising the person's post. In short, I feel like I'm that friend who ends up solving the problem for you after showing you how to do it 2 times and you still don't get it. Aagh! Haha!

 

[Franklin]

I really liked what you and everyone else wrote about my situation. To be honest, I did not think of trying to help the writer in improving their writing. I was worried on how I could properly teach her how to improve her English writing because the kind of errors were mostly the sentence structure and grammar, rather than the post length. I feel like I would end up giving a whole English lesson on the Where, What, and Whys of her post and I feel like I am not trained enough to teach her the English writing guidelines while also making sure she understands why you write a certain way and all that. Also, the English language itself can be confusing when teaching it especially when you start inserting colloquialism, haha! Maybe this is more of a me problem because throughout my time in high school and college when it came to revising paper works for group projects I'd try to explain to my peers how to revise it and if the results do not come out as instructed, then I end up revising the whole thing myself.
So this problem reflects in my writing for RPs as well because I did have a similar problem the only difference was the person was not writing enough even though they were given a long post by another person (I had to mediate the situation). I tried instructing the person how they could lengthen their posts by giving them examples and they took my advise, so they revised their post. However, it only worked in that singular post because their next post was short again and I ended up helping the person again to write their post. It felt like I was in a way writing for the person because I was constantly "revising" with them, which took a lot of time in the RP because I was not only writing my posts I was also revising the person's post. In short, I feel like I'm that friend who ends up solving the problem for you after showing you how to do it 2 times and you still don't get it. Aagh! Haha!

Each situation is unique. I'd say then follow your gut in this instance. Feelings may get hurt but its important to grasp on the fact its the internet. They will get over it. And things will move on. Although, if you let it fester it just gets harder to do. I can empathize with everything your saying. I am not too well versed in grammar or spelling. However, I was raised by an English teacher. So like from an early age my mother showed me how to communicate learning to others. I also went to school to be an educational assistant so it just flows naturally from me. But this isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. It's important to honor that about your situation. Your limitations and expectations. Just word it a way you would want to hear it put. And remember its the internet. Everyone gets over the internet eventually .

I'm certain you'll get resolve. You seem like a nice person =) I'm positive they will understand.

 

[KuonnaAi101]

Each situation is unique. I'd say then follow your gut in this instance. Feelings may get hurt but its important to grasp on the fact its the internet. They will get over it. And things will move on. Although, if you let it fester it just gets harder to do. I can empathize with everything your saying. I am not too well versed in grammar or spelling. However, I was raised by an English teacher. So like from an early age my mother showed me how to communicate learning to others. I also went to school to be an educational assistant so it just flows naturally from me. But this isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. It's important to honor that about your situation. Your limitations and expectations. Just word it a way you would want to hear it put. And remember its the internet. Everyone gets over the internet eventually .

I'm certain you'll get resolve. You seem like a nice person =) I'm positive they will understand.

Haha! Yeah I'm more STEM major, so I have an easy time explaining Mathematics or Physics because explaining formulas, their uses, and how to solve it comes to me more naturally! While things like English which is an art in itself, my brain just farts and stumbles because it is unable to explain the concepts and rules for English in an easy understandable way. My brain goes "I don't know" or "Just because" when I'm faced with an English related question for writing hahaha!

Yeah I'll take this advise and combine it with the others have given to resolve this problem. Awh thanks! I really didn't want my question to be misinterpreted as if I would never want to RP with a non-native English speaker or I'm nit picky, typically I usually let things slide and move on with the RP. This situation was more conflicting than my other experiences because I noticed that the posts were making the other writers to not want their characters to interact with them. So I felt bad for that singular writer but at the same time I understand why the other writers were being that way.

 

[Ganryu]

Rip the bandaid off.

The longer you drag out a conversation, the more emotionally attached they get to it. Don't look at it as being kind to the person you're kicking, look at the perspective of the other players. It makes it harder for them to post. They might be invested in their character, then get a 1 line response in the wrong format. It'd kill motivation to keep going, its ruining their plans.

You don't have to be a jerk, but factual.

"RP rules say this. You aren't meeting it."

I've seen many people improve over my decade plus experience RP'ing. I've never once seen someone improve when threatened 'improve or else'.