Advice/Help How do I have more confidence in my writing?

[FoolsErin]

I write a character sheet, I immediately chastise myself for the character being overpowered, dumb, and unnecessary. If it's a pre-existing character, this is multiplied by twenty-fold, with an additional 'you didn't describe this character correctly'.

I write a long response and I attack myself for it going nowhere and being really stupid. I write a short response and I nag myself for it being too short and not enough for my group to work off of.

The thought of writing a story absolutely terrifies me. What if people hate it? What if people insult me for writing it? What if this, what if that.

This doesn't seem like a healthy mindset in the slightest, but I don't know what to tell myself to stop my brain from falling into a pit of insulting myself and every syllable I write. This is not helped by the fact most of my previous supporters are teachers that complimented in a way that I think they were just trying to be nice and didn't actually think very highly of my writing ability.

How do I have more confidence in my writing?

 

[FoolsErin]

And while I'm in the venting mood, I admit I die a little inside when I see my fellow group members getting the fancy 'great scene' and 'well written' ratings while I just get likes on my out of character posts that were funny. It makes me think my writing is subpar to theirs, that I'm not as good as them, and that I'm doing something wrong.

 

[Life.]

Admittedly, this is a mutual feeling that more than likely a lot of users experience. I say that you are strong in expressing it. While I am not an expert or professional, the best I could do is lend support. I am unsure if any of these methods may help you, but I shall list them nonetheless;

1) Be proud that you are here rping and recognizing that you seek improvement.
While it may seem like there are a lot of writers due to a large number of members here in Rpn, it is actually small compared to everyone else in the world. You and I and all other users take some time out of our real life schedules to come onto her and write. If your psyche is hard to budge on the concept of social comparison then compare it to the language and grammar used nowadays in social media. It may not be of the same concept as rping, but it is still writing.

2) Quality over Quantity
This is usually a biggie with a lot of users. Personally, I see it that even a paragraph post can convey great tone just the same as a long post. With posts, it really all boils down to the user's style of writing and their quality.
Now if it is quality that is bothering you then perhaps look over the post with a close user friend? Get some second opinions on how they interpret the post before replying if they have time to spare.

3) Likes aren't everything
We're all different, so we all interpret and read things differently. Certain users may receive different ratings due to how other people interpret it. The thing about this is that if it is something that makes you doubt, then look into the post. See what the user did that captured the other users' attention. Learn from what they write, and maybe try to work that into your style of writing.

4) Practice is where it is at
Practice with your mind in that no one is perfect. Step back and appreciate what you have written. You may not realize it but with every post, you are strengthening your writing. You plan, think, and edit a snippet of a collaborative story.

As I stated earlier, these may or may not help you, but I do hope they do.

Personally, I was in the same boat long ago. I felt as though my posts were short compared to those with many paragraphs of great detail. So I read over their posts and noted what was similar and different between theirs and my posts. Eventually, I began to see what fits into my writing. Over time I kept on writing and writing. Moving through various genres to explore my options on what I find is the best fit for me. Although at times it all depends on my mood.
Your mind is a great tool, but as it appears it can be a great obstacle as well.
Try and change the perspective of doubt into motivation. It is a hard step to take, but it's one that can be of great help.

I do hope that this was of some help, if not then I apologize. I'm working on trying to give advice to people.

 

[Zer0]

Hi, Neko of the North, you could try getting into a detailed rp, but without any expectations for yourself and without the goal to please others or be on their standard. Just play there to learn, have fun, and trust the process of practice.

Also, just the way you worded your post already shows that you write good. XD You have a good flow, and you communicated your idea from start to finish well. Check this out.

Spoiler

"I write a character sheet, I immediately chastise myself for the character being overpowered, dumb, and unnecessary. If it's a pre-existing character, this is multiplied by twenty-fold, with an additional 'you didn't describe this character correctly'. " said Mike to John.

"I write a long response and I attack myself for it going nowhere and being really stupid. I write a short response and I nag myself for it being too short and not enough for my group to work off of."

Mike sighed. The thought of writing a story absolutely terrified him. He always kept thinking, what if people hated it? What if people insulted him for writing it? What if this, what if that.

"John, I know this doesn't seem like a healthy mindset in the slightest, but I don't know what to tell myself to stop my brain from falling into a pit of insulting myself and every syllable I write." he slumped on the chair.

"And it's not helped by the fact most of my previous supporters are teachers that complimented in a way that I think they were just trying to be nice and didn't actually think very highly of my writing ability." he added.

"How do I have more confidence in my writing?"

----

See? We got to know the character and what's going on with him. If you just alter it a tiny bit that's a detailed post already! You got this!

 

[Idea]

I am no expert, by no means take what I say as any kind of official advice, but I have dealt with plenty of people with anxiety in the past, in fact a lot of RPN has some form of it. The reality of the situation is, there is no magic trick to make you feel more confident. There are things you can do to rationally improve yourself, and really the only person you should compare yourself to is the you from yesterday. However, your problem does not seem to be one based on your reasoning, but on an internal impulse that makes you feel inferior or be overly critical of your own work.

The only real way to deal with it is to not try to deny it. Staright up denying what you feel like that will only make you dig in more, it's like quicksand where if you struggle too much you only sink deeper. You first need to accept that maybe that critical side of you has a point. Then, you need to see what that point is, and try to gradually improve your mindset by:
---->examining whether it even matters if those criticisms are correct
---->examining where you can improve and what your strengths and weaknesses are
---->focusing on establishing a bond with fellow players other than simply on the content of the roleplay
---->last trying to examine whether there is actual validity to your internal criticism.

It will be a slow and difficult process, especially at times when you find that, yes, you did screw up here or there, just like everyone does. Struggling against the negativity will sink you deeper, but accepting it as a part of who you are, and trying to work with it rather than against it is to my knowledge the best approach you can give. Make humor out of it. Use the internal criticism to help guide towards making better characters and stories. Use it to push conversation and getting along with people. I know this will sound cheesy, but make your weakness into your strength, and you will find yourself being able to live with it much better.

 

[Silanon]

The post of Life. already mentions a few important things - I'll try to add a few more. Be aware that others are better suited to give advice, and that I likely missed the point by a large margin. Perhaps, you'll find a few lines in there that are helpful, take those and forget about the rest.

For character creation - don't ask yourself if you created a great character or not - the answer will most likely be "no", and the "great" characters are those you should porbably be worried about. Ask yourself if there is something you can do to improve it. Backstory? Powers? Whatever else the rp in question offers? Try your best to improve it little by little. Then ask for feedback and advice. See, the doubt you feel is mostly due to the fact that you don't know how others will react. Within the rp (i.e. IC) it's usually hard to make changes, but for character sheets? Just ask people what they think. Ask the gm if he thinks you're overpowered. Communication is key - the best rps I've been in where those where people made sure that, right from the beginning, characters had enough differences to be unique, but enough similarities to find common ground. You rarely get there if everyone blindly submits their own half-decent ideas - talk to each other, use that OOC.
Also, there's nothing like a "wrong" description - we're not in school, after all. Just try your best, if others know the characters, they'll fill in the gaps without even thinking about it. If they don't - your IC posts will show them all they need to know, really.

Lengths of posts, and quality - as mentioned above, quality over quantity, and feedback is always welcome (communication, yay!). But if there's noone else to look at it, try to ask the most important questions you can come up with, like: Does it have something meaningful in it? Do I like it? There are great guides on this site, perhaps take a look there - the authors there know far better what to consider than I do. Most importantly, ask the question: Can other characters respond to that post? Read through the previous posts of them - if you can come up with something reasonable for them to do, they'll likely find an even better option.

What if people hate your writing? Shit happens, sometimes things just don't work out. What if they insult you? I've never had this on RPN, but I can only advice to leave that particular rp immediately - it's not worth your precious free time. It's a hobby, not a profession where you might need to sit it out.

About the doubts about the qualitiy of posts - doesn't matter if you're a good writer. What matters is that you improve little by litte, and your post suggests that that's exactly what's already in your mind. This isn't school, where you need to collect as many good grades as you can, and you don't need to pass any tests to continue, either. With every post, ask yourself if there's something in it that you like slightly more than your previous post - if the answer is yes, then it's a good post already, as long as you covered the basics. Don't aim for perfect posts - aim for small improvements.

And about the likes: I know those feelings, and they are one reason why I really, really rarely like a post. Remember, there are different reasons why people like posts. And keep in mind that this is not a competition. If someone else gets a "great scene", be happy for them. Take a look at the post, see what kind of outstanding thing they did. Sometimes, it's good writing. Sometimes, it's just a particular thing that really mattered for the character belonging to the person who liked it. Learn from it. Be happy about every single cookie you get, but remind yourself that the real value of your post is not on the lower right of it, but in the following posts, where people react to the words you wrote.

As mentioned in the second response: Try stuff. I've been in rps way over my level back when i started, and people took my awful posts and made amazing things with them. I stood there in awe for a while, and then I looked closely at what they did. I never reached their level of writing, but at least from my own perspective, I came surprisingly close. Have fun writing, do your best, and judge your posts by the reaction of others - I'm rarely happy with my posts, and yet some people are happy when I post in their interest checks.

Well, I just wrote this, and then Idea managed to post the real important thing: Don't compare yourself to others, especially not to the very few who literally write like the'yd publish novels. Try your best, see where it leads you. Believe me, in a year or so, you'll look back at some of your first posts and think "holy crap, what did I even think back then?"

Edit: I just saw that you're here for almost a year - have you looked back at some of your first posts, perhaps? Also: For me, it sometimes helps to look back at some of my better posts I've written over the years - reminds you that you're able to create amazing things when the words just don't seem to flow for a moment.

 

[VitricHearts]

For whatever it is my opinion is worth, I strongly believe that belittling your writing in your mind is a form of self-deception and self-destruction.

If you instead focus on the positives of your writing, on what it is about your writing that you take pride in and hone in on those strengths, its allure will manifest on its own. This really all starts with you. Your writing is not sub-par, and it is purely up to you to acknowledge that. You already very much possess the potential to write something of which you should be confident. But if you choose to look down on your writing for its apparent flaws, or as in the shadow of the writing of your peers, then you're doing yourself a disservice.

As an analogy, think of your writing as a gifted child. If, despite the child's best efforts, you continue to insult and degrade the child on what he has accomplished (as slight as that may be), do you believe he will continue to, let alone *desire* to, improve? He may for some time work desperately in an attempt to satisfy, but if you continue with degradation, the child learns hopelessness and whatever existed of his potential will be wasted.

Change the unhealthy and irrational way you perceive your writing and it will prove to be beautiful on its own. Confidence is not an issue with the essence of your writing. It is an internal issue, and it will in fact, quite ironically, only hinder the development of and perhaps even degrade your writing. Also notable is that lack of confidence in your writing is entirely redundant. There's nothing at stake here. So what if your writing isn't yet perfect? Unless you intend to publish this instant, public opinion matters little to none. There is thankfully plenty of room for improvement, and little to no ramification for suffering from whatever flaws your writing might possess. Do not create irrational boulders in your mind, especially when it sounds like the potential for insult is a phantom fear with little to no actual precedent.

Feel satisfied with what you've achieved, and always seek to improve; your writing will flourish accordingly. Be open to criticism, yet recognize your strengths. Recognize the things you did well, and certainly those things you did *better* in. There's absolutely no reason you can't do this. Fail to do either of these things, however, and you'll most certainly be stuck in a self-loathing rut void of long-term improvement. That's simply how it is. You'll need to suck it up if you truly wish to do better, discipline those baseless and unruly thoughts of yours, and you *will* grow.

Also, as a final tip, quit comparing yourself to others. Admire and take on role-models, sure. Experiment with other styles or aspects of writing if you so wish. But do not actively compare in an attempt to self-criticize. That's a sure-fire way to come to hate what you create, because writing is fun for as long as it is characterized as individual expression, and *not* a destructive competition to create a similar or better impression than others. I feel very sorry for anyone who approaches role-play with a toxic mindset like that. Learn from others and adapt accordingly; don't envy them only to degrade yourself.

When it comes to personal writing, what *you* think of your writing takes priority. The public opinion is secondary and a mere reinforcement or reality check. Regulate your standards to what you personally are comfortable with, at a pace that lends into your improvement, and all will go well.

 

[Gilzar]

Don't see critique as a bad thing, criticism when done right is a good thing!

It's a scary thought to post work that you're unsure of, but that's your best way of getting better! I guarantee you that no one was ever good at writing to begin with. Writing at its core is a skill, and like any other skill you have to keep doing it in order to improve. When I look back at my oldest roleplays on other sites, I cringe. My old writings were not organized, my characters were flat, and I had terrible flow in my sentences. Cringey as they are however, I would not be at the writing skill I am today had I not posted them.

People on other websites I roleplayed at long before my time here poked at the holes in my writing. Some did it in a nice way, others not. The bottom line though is that critique helped me improve as a writer. My best advice for you is not only to practice, but to find a group of people who will help you work out whatever you're self conscious about without being rude about it.

My last tid-bit of advice is surround yourself with more experienced/skilled writers. As the metaphor goes, iron sharpens iron. Just interacting with these people and observing their tips and tricks will help you exponentially in the long run!