Winona
No, I don't have too many characters.
Jules & Ash
Her shopping had went perfectly fine. Maggie's not sex store had provided a gown that she'd totally look fucking amazing in, so... while the company and the weird store had been an interesting experience to say the least, at least JJ got what she needed out of this irritating, difficult, and unnecessary day.
Okay, well, of course it was necessary.
She needed a gown for the ball.
Which meant now she had to figure out what Dorian was wearing in order to match each other, because like she said earlier? This wasn't just a normal formal or whatever.
Class actually needed to like, exist here and she had to instill some into her boyfriend. Her thoughts were halted when Maggie bumped into someone and JJ's gaze fell onto the blonde, almost immediately turning into a scowl.
Yeah, they were pissed at each other.
Why?
...
Not fucking important.
Ash was just being a bitch.
Yeah, so what? It was true. JJ didn't start shit.
She totally did, but that's like, irrelevant.
"Did you find a dress? I bet it's like... really, really pretty. And did umm... did Maggie find hers?"
"Obviously. I see you bought one too, con-fucking-grats. Which boyfriend did you run off with to grab that one? I haven't seen Lucky around..." Juliette glanced around the mall for emphasis on her words.
"Or Javi, for that matter, considering the bitch boy talks about sleeping with you 24/7-- even though I know it's not true, everyone knows your taste is literal trash and every move you make has failed to prove me wrong. How was... the social reject? What was his name? Newt? Is that who you ditched me for? Shocker."
After Maggie had left, Ash had thought that the tension might get a little bit better, but it didn't. It stayed, and it even multiplied as Ash and JJ were stuck there, alone, in the mall. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she drew the dress bag a little closer to her stomach as her arms instinctively went to move around her abdomen.
JJ made some snide comment about boyfriends, and Ash couldn't help her lips turning down into a frown, or the way she hugged the dress a little closer. What she was saying was obviously, just like... obviously lies. Javi was joking, Lucky didn't... want her, and Newt was just a friend, so it was like...
"Mikaela helped me, like umm... she helped me find it," Ash explained, even though it was obvious by the bite of JJ's words that she didn't care. Her fingers still played with the little star pendant, as if that would somehow provide her some solace. "I didn't, like... I didn't run off. I just..." she swallowed a lump starting to gather in her throat. "I just... needed a minute, to umm... to get Newt, but then like, then you... were... gone..."
Ash gave a helpless shrug of her shoulders. "I don't... I'm sorry," she started again. "But I mean, umm... you ran off with Maggie, so like... how was I supposed to find you?"
How was she supposed to find her?
Is she fucking kidding?
“Uh, hell-fucking-lo? It’s like the 21st century, bitch. There’s phones.” Jifted her phone, gesturing towards it.
Okay, quick run down for JJ.
Friends were a really big thing to her— sure, she never admitted to being Ash’s friend but still.
And when a friend invites you somewhere, ditches you and starts giving you an attitude that you didn’t fucking warrant?
(Totally warranted)
Hell fucking yeah she was going to be pissed.
Dress or not.
She wasn’t supposed to go dress shopping with Maggie. Not that she regretted it— but that didn’t matter. The plan was for Ash, Maddie, and JJ to fucking shopping after a forced, unbelievably and slightly fun— and overwhelming sleepover.
It wasn’t fucking fair.
She didn’t care if she was throwing a tantrum right about now.
Blahblahblah.
JJ knew she was wrong and she shouldn’t of sided with Maggie— but Ash shouldn’t have been so— It’s more than her just being a bitch, okay?
Because she has been.
Maybe it wasn’t on purpose, or maybe it was heavily relied on the dinner where she went back and forth with Dorian— or the endless fucking suspicion that something was going on. Because who the actual fucking fuck, just ‘stops’ being friends with somebody.
How do you just grow apart and decide to hate each other with unnecessary fucking tension that eats at JJ every fucking second she sees— or hears that they were together?
But she couldn’t say that.
She couldn’t even ask if it was possible because then she’d be deemed the crazy, overprotective and insecure girlfriend, right?
Yeah. Fucking right.
Maybe that’s why Juliette was so ticked off.
Either that, or it was the fact that Ash was lying about dating Trevor.
Oh, yeah? Didn’t you hear?
Ash was fucking Trevor.
Low life of the century, unlucky leprechaun of the pot of weed, at the end of the shitty rainbow that was his fucking life.
Did she deserve better?
No comment at this exact moment in time.
But it wasn’t a no.
“Maybe you just wasn’t really interested in finding me at all, huh? Isn’t there lucky boyfriend number three around here? Should I take out a pot of gold— sorry, should I take out some pot and see if he comes running?”
For a brief moment, Ash was stunned into silence by JJ's words -- because yeah, even if she was kind of speaking in a bit of a riddle, it was easy enough to know exactly who she was talking about.
Trevor.
And for a moment, the lump that had started to form in her throat fell straight into her stomach, and Ash felt breathless. Like her lungs had just given out, and the pit in her stomach was going to just like, swallow her whole -- because how else would JJ have known if Maddie hadn't told her?
But no, no, Maddie wouldn't have done that.
Because Maddie knew how JJ would react, and there's no way she would've done something like that. And like... like it wasn't a revolutionary remark in Ash's direction, because who at this point hadn't thought there was something going on between her and Trevor?
It was like... she couldn't even breathe in a guy's direction without someone, at some point, thinking they were going to fuck.
"Oh my god," Ash said with a huff of laughter and a shaking of her head. Her fingers let go of the necklace from Trevor, her arm again following to cross over her stomach with her other arm and the dress. "Sorry that this is probably, like, a new idea to you, but surprise, surprise, girls and boys can be just friends."
Yeah, because that was totally believable.
"I mean, you and Dorian were just friends, right? I mean, I guess until you weren't. And like, Dorian and I were just friends."
Until we weren't.
JJ scoffed in disbelief.
She was still fucking lying? How can one person be so completely stupid?
They never trust her.
Why?
Okay, I know what you're thinking, because she's JJ.
But fuck that. JJ kept the secrets that needed to be kept or whatever the fuck, like, at least the secrets she mildly cared about, she didn't give two flying shits if Trevor and Ash wanted to fuck each other behind everyone's back. Ash's sex life wasn't her business by any means, but why was it being kept from her? If someone insists 24-fucking-seven that they're your friend? Act like it?
It isn't that fucking hard.
"I don't understand why you're still lying. Just tell me the fucking truth?! What's the fucking point in lying? Jesus, Ash. You're so--"
She was ready to spit out any and every insult known to man.
But...
Then she brought up Dorian.
"Why'd you even have to bring him up? Huh? Do you think that's instantly going to make me back off? Because you know that--"
She knew she was suspicious.
Ash knew she was suspicious from the fucking start.
Jules shook her head, raising her voice. "I-- fuck you, fuck you, your little fucking leprechaun, low-life, shit fucking ugly as fuck boyfriend that you're so fucking desperate to hide because that's all you do! You just keep lying. You literally refuse to tell the truth about fucking anything and the only people you trust are the ones you fuck you over. Like..."
She couldn't hide it.
And she wasn't about to be a fucking liar like she was.
"Like Maddie. She ratted out your fucking relationship-- but you already know that, if you would've just told me--"
Bull-fucking-shit and they both knew it.
JJ would still give her so much shit even if Ash did tell her.
But it wasn't like she was going to tell anyone.
"If you would've told me..." She started, her tone dwindled down and Juliette's thoughts had started to attack her in an instant.
She couldn't care less about fucking Trevor.
"He started it."
"She started it.'"
"I don't remember what we were talking about..."
"Oh, he was asking me about something for school."
"We grew apart."
"We're just not friends anymore."
"And like, Dorian and I were just friends."
Juliette's demeanor instantly changed, the emotions on her face flickering from confusion, to anger, and a flash of hurt. She didn't say anything. Ash didn't have to say anything. The fucking looks they'd give to each other at dinner, the bickering, the insults, the fucking excuses that they both kept giving to her-- the arguing that they could never explain.
It was there.
It was literally right in front of her fucking face and all Juliette did was ignore it because for a split fucking second, she trusted them.
She wanted to trust them.
But she couldn't trust them anymore than they trusted her.
Boyfriends, best friends, whatever the fuck.
Nothing ever fucking mattered.
JJ threw the bag on the ground with force, gaining some looks from strangers as they walked past. "Just fucking tell me the truth, Ash. Stop lying for once in your perfect fucking life." She wasn't talking about Trevor. Anyone would be able to tell she wasn't talking about Trevor.
Jules scoffed, gesturing towards her and letting her hands fall to her side.
"Or are we still gonna pretend that you're not a lying whore."
She'd fucked up. Ash had fucked up.
The breath caught in her lungs, and she looked at JJ for a moment.
Maddie had told her -- Maddie had fucking told her, not even, what, twelve hours after Ash had told her about Trevor? She'd betrayed her, basically stabbed her in the back, and told JJ and now like... like... god. The oxygen was seizing in her lungs, and she couldn't breathe.
JJ wouldn't tell anyone -- she was, like, pretty sure of that, but it was still betraying her trust. She'd wanted to keep it from JJ because... well because it was JJ, and every comment about Trevor that came out of her mouth already was an insult, so like, imagine if she'd been honest.
There was no way JJ would've ever been nice about it.
And Trevor was going to be pissed.
She was fucking up.
And now she'd dragged Dorian into it, and like to be honest, she didn't really care all that much because like... like... fuck him. He was a dick. He sucked. Telling her to not fuck with Lucky, treating her like she was nothing but a bitch since they're breakup, just because she'd found someone that she was happier with.
JJ was looking at her. JJ had asked her to tell the truth and stop lying and yeah, her choice of her words had hurt.
Fucking lying whore.
Like she wasn't wrong.
"I'm so, so sorry," she started, her voice cracking as she started to speak. There were tears brimming at the edge of her vision. Ash knew that she had no right to cry right now, and she wanted to swallow and stop herself, but she couldn't. She shook her head, breaking eye contact with JJ as she looked down.
"I'm... I wanted to umm... when you guys first got together, I wanted... I wanted to tell you," her voice was cracking more, wavering as she tried to talk. "He didn't want to, like... he really, really cares about you, and Dorian he umm... he just wanted to leave it in the past, but..."
Her mouth felt dry. The words were coming out harder and harder.
She lifted her head to look at JJ once more.
"We... dated," she winced as she admitted to it -- the first time she'd admitted to dating Dorian aloud, "it wasn't... it wasn't that... serious, it was my umm... like my freshman year, and it was only for, like..." she hesitated, pursing her lips for a moment before speaking again, "almost... a year."
Anything would be less painful than this.
"I'm so sorry."
Jules's gaze turned into a glare as she anticipated what she was going to say.
She knew she was right.
She fucking knew and she fucking hated it.
But anything else would've hurt less than the truth.
Although JJ probably couldn't take another lie.
'Just be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt.'
'You're my friend.'
'I'm just looking out for you.'
"I'm so, so sorry,"
There were too fucking many of them already.
Her glare instantly faded as her eyes started to water and Juliette exhaled a stuttered breath, averting her gaze from the blonde as she continued to listen to her shitty fucking excuses to make herself feel better, her lips settled in a frown and she shook her head, listening to every fucking word that Ash continued to spout as if any of that fucking mattered in the first place.
Dorian wanted to keep it from her? No, she didn't believe that. She believed both of them wanted to.
"We... dated, it wasn't... it wasn't that... serious, it was my umm... like my freshman year, and it was only for, like..."
What?
Two months?
Three?
Six?
She believed that Ash wanted to keep this quiet because she was fucking ashamed that another relationship didn't work out. Because she was so fucking stupid she couldn't even a hold a man. She was a worse girlfriend than she was a friend and she didn't want to admit it. Because Ashton West was the fakest person out and Juliette was practically convinced of that fact.
Jules furiously wiped away a few stray tears.
"... A year."
At this, Juliette's gaze instantly snapped back towards Ash.
"I'm so sorry."
No, you're not.
She didn't say anything at first.
She stared at her in disbelief.
Uncharacteristically quiet.
"... a year." She repeated.
A fucking year?
A mother fucking year relationship and neither of the mentioned it? They decided to keep it a fucking secret? Did they ever plan to tell her? No. Of course not. They thought she was too fucking stupid to piece it together, huh? Poor fucking JJ. Looking for attention wherever she'd get it, right? So it wouldn't matter they lied to her because she'd be too caught up in her relationship to notice.
Juliette crossed her arms, "It was only for a fucking year? You're acting like you dated for a week in kindergarten, Ash this--" She lifted a hand to make a gesture and her words fell short.
Her mouth fell agape and she laughed in disbelief.
She literally started laughing.
Tears were falling and Juliette was fucking laughing.
God, what kind of a psychopath was she?
Who the fuck--
You know what?
No, fuck that.
Fuck her.
She shouldn't be judging herself in this fucking situation. Her laughter gradually faded to a stop and she looked up from the floor to meet her gaze.
"Fuck you, Ash." She spat.
She wanted to say so much more.
Juliette wanted to end her.
Curse out every little thing she had.
The audacity she had to pretend to fucking care about her?
The fucking audacity.
"So much for being fucking friends right? You know why I never admitted to it?" Jules said, taking a step closer to her.
She shoved her harshly and the bag she was holding fell to the ground.
"Because you're a fake bitch."
Another shove.
"A selfish, fake, fucking bitch who doesn't care about anyone else but herself but you pretend like you're so fucking amazing because everyone fucking loves--" JJ choked out a sob, but her anger had gotten the best of her and she was able to raise her voice against the lump in her throat.
Another.
Some people stopped to watch the scene, but Juliette didn't give a shit.
"Everyone fucking loves you and for the life of me I can't understand why. You're a liar. You're a whore. You're the biggest fake in the entire world and every guy literally falls at your fucking feet, all your friends actually fucking care about you and all you do is take everything you have for granted, bat your fucking eyelashes, shed a few tears and whatever you want it's yours."
A last shove and Ash stumbled back this time.
Trevor suddenly came into view, his gaze alternating between Ash and JJ.
Juliette moved to get even closer and Trevor stepped between them, holding JJ back from getting to the blonde.
"Fuck you. Fuck your pathetic fucking boyfriend who's worth less than a fucking bum off the street, I was fucking right. You dating Dorian literally fucking confirmed you have the worst taste in men."
"Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but at least I'm not a fucking liar like you. Did you tell your boyfriend yet? Or did you lie about that too?" Jules looked up to Trevor with a death glare.
"She tell you about fucking my boyfriend?" She said, glancing towards Ash for a mere moment before spitting out the information again. "Don't worry McSeany, it was before the two of you were boning each other, did you know it lasted for a whole fucking year? Huh? No? Oh my gosh! Ash lying again? What a fucking shocker."
"You two are fucking pathetic. A perfect fucking match for each other. I hope the pot of gold at the end of hell is worth it."
Juliette channeled all her anger into whatever strength she had to push Trevor's hand away to point a finger in Ash's face, wholeheartedly ignoring the blonde's tears.
Not her fucking crying like she actually cared. She was only crying because she got caught.
"We're NOT fucking friends," Juliette exclaimed, not taking her gaze off of her as she ignored Trevor's attempts to push her away, the lump in her throat had started to hurt and she croaked on her next words.
"And I'm so fucking happy that we aren't."
Jules picked up a bag off the floor, giving Ash a final glare and turning her back before the blonde had the chance to give out an apology she didn't mean. She rushed out of the mall, the fresh air only reminded her of the wet streaks across her face and the eyes that were on her.
She kept her head down, rounding a corner near one of the back exits of the mall and out of eyesight.
The brunette leaned against the wall, dropping the bag once again onto the ground and putting a hand to her chest, attempting to calm her heaving chest from the uncontrollable sobs that escaped her.
Her throat was burning. Her stomach was twisting with guilt, and she was trying to keep back undue tears as she watched JJ fall apart before her, and as she was reminded that this was her fault.
This, right here.
The pain in JJ's eyes, the tears falling down her face, and the venomous hurt dripping from every word that she spat back into Ash's face, it was...
It was all her fault.
There was no way to twist it any other way. It was like... there was no saying "no, no, you're really not to blame," and there was no saying. There was like... there was just like... there was no way to pull the blame and the guilt off of her shoulders. It was completely Ash's fault, because they were friends.
JJ was quiet for a moment, and in that moment, it felt like they were standing on glass. Waiting for it to shatter underneath them. Ash found herself growing completely still, her breath catching in the back of her throat, her tears brimming at the edges of her vision but not falling, as if any wrong move would cause that glass to shatter beneath them.
And then, JJ snapped, and the glass shattered, and Ash exhaled quickly, as if she'd just been punched in the stomach.
"Fuck you, Ash."
That felt like a punch to the stomach.
Her lips parted, trembling, as if she wanted to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. She shook her head, turning her head down, her eyes squeezing tightly shut as tears started to roll down her cheeks.
JJ's words were like knives coated with acid. Like they were slicing into her, and then burning even after the words were gone.
She shoved her, and Ash stumbled back. Her gaze lifted back up, looking at JJ.
"Because you're a fake bitch."
JJ's hands slammed into her again, but Ash didn't do anything to stop it.
There were eyes on them, watching and burning her skin as JJ came again with another shove.
JJ kept yelling at her -- saying all these things that weren't... that weren't true, no matter... no matter how many... how many people said them... what she was saying... they weren't true.
Another shove, and Ash stumbled back more than before, nearly losing her balance.
She was prepared for another shove, a slap, a punch... whatever JJ might decide to do, and she didn't try to move out of the way, or say anything.
There wasn't anything she could say, and moving out of the way...
Well, she deserved it.
It was fine.
But before JJ could come at her again, someone moved into view and blocked JJ from getting to her. Her gaze, once glued to JJ's, now blinked and moved to the figure between them. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion before she recognized the brunette boy before her, but then the confusion just grew.
Why was Trevor--
"Fuck you." JJ started in again, and her gaze moved back to her friend. "Fuck your pathetic fucking boyfriend who's worth less than a fucking bum off the street, I was fucking right. You dating Dorian literally fucking confirmed you have the worst taste in men. Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but at least I'm not a fucking liar like you. Did you tell your boyfriend yet? Or did you lie about that too?"
"JJ, no--" Ash started, but her voice was soft, weak, it didn't matter.
"She tell you about fucking my boyfriend?"
Her chest was being squeezed. She couldn't fucking breathe.
"Don't worry McSeany, it was before the two of you were boning each other, did you know it lasted for a whole fucking year? Huh? No? Oh my gosh! Ash lying again? What a fucking shocker."
"You two are fucking pathetic. A perfect fucking match for each other. I hope the pot of gold at the end of hell is worth it."
And then JJ managed to push past Trevor, and she brought a finger into Ash's face. Ash flinched back instinctively, but then she relaxed, hazel eyes glued to JJ's.
"We're NOT fucking friends," Juliette exclaimed.
"And I'm so fucking happy that we aren't."
Ash winced, her lips parted again, but there was nothing for her to say as JJ grabbed her bag up off the floor and took off. Part of her thought maybe she should go after her, but that would just... make it all so much worse. She knew that. She had fucked up, fucked up, fucked up.
She turned her head down again, tears gathering in her eyes.
Now that the moment was over, she became more aware of the people around them -- watching, pointing, whispering amongst themselves, and she knew it was bad, bad, bad. Bad publicity or... whatever if it got out. Like if it got out what had just happened, that it was her.
Nervous fingers pressed against the star pendant on her necklace again and she lifted her head to look at Trevor, her eyes searching his gaze for a moment, and then she gave a tilt of her head and broke eye contact.
"Let's just umm..." she sniffed. "Let's just go." She mumbled, and turned on her heel to head in the opposite direction that JJ had taken off in and started walking away.
Her pace was quick, and it didn't slow down until they'd exited the mall -- until the pointing, and the whispering, and the staring had all ceased.
Okay, well, of course it was necessary.
She needed a gown for the ball.
Which meant now she had to figure out what Dorian was wearing in order to match each other, because like she said earlier? This wasn't just a normal formal or whatever.
Class actually needed to like, exist here and she had to instill some into her boyfriend. Her thoughts were halted when Maggie bumped into someone and JJ's gaze fell onto the blonde, almost immediately turning into a scowl.
Yeah, they were pissed at each other.
Why?
...
Not fucking important.
Ash was just being a bitch.
Yeah, so what? It was true. JJ didn't start shit.
"Did you find a dress? I bet it's like... really, really pretty. And did umm... did Maggie find hers?"
"Obviously. I see you bought one too, con-fucking-grats. Which boyfriend did you run off with to grab that one? I haven't seen Lucky around..." Juliette glanced around the mall for emphasis on her words.
"Or Javi, for that matter, considering the bitch boy talks about sleeping with you 24/7-- even though I know it's not true, everyone knows your taste is literal trash and every move you make has failed to prove me wrong. How was... the social reject? What was his name? Newt? Is that who you ditched me for? Shocker."
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
After Maggie had left, Ash had thought that the tension might get a little bit better, but it didn't. It stayed, and it even multiplied as Ash and JJ were stuck there, alone, in the mall. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she drew the dress bag a little closer to her stomach as her arms instinctively went to move around her abdomen.
JJ made some snide comment about boyfriends, and Ash couldn't help her lips turning down into a frown, or the way she hugged the dress a little closer. What she was saying was obviously, just like... obviously lies. Javi was joking, Lucky didn't... want her, and Newt was just a friend, so it was like...
"Mikaela helped me, like umm... she helped me find it," Ash explained, even though it was obvious by the bite of JJ's words that she didn't care. Her fingers still played with the little star pendant, as if that would somehow provide her some solace. "I didn't, like... I didn't run off. I just..." she swallowed a lump starting to gather in her throat. "I just... needed a minute, to umm... to get Newt, but then like, then you... were... gone..."
Ash gave a helpless shrug of her shoulders. "I don't... I'm sorry," she started again. "But I mean, umm... you ran off with Maggie, so like... how was I supposed to find you?"
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
How was she supposed to find her?
Is she fucking kidding?
“Uh, hell-fucking-lo? It’s like the 21st century, bitch. There’s phones.” Jifted her phone, gesturing towards it.
Okay, quick run down for JJ.
Friends were a really big thing to her— sure, she never admitted to being Ash’s friend but still.
And when a friend invites you somewhere, ditches you and starts giving you an attitude that you didn’t fucking warrant?
Hell fucking yeah she was going to be pissed.
Dress or not.
She wasn’t supposed to go dress shopping with Maggie. Not that she regretted it— but that didn’t matter. The plan was for Ash, Maddie, and JJ to fucking shopping after a forced, unbelievably and slightly fun— and overwhelming sleepover.
It wasn’t fucking fair.
She didn’t care if she was throwing a tantrum right about now.
Blahblahblah.
JJ knew she was wrong and she shouldn’t of sided with Maggie— but Ash shouldn’t have been so— It’s more than her just being a bitch, okay?
Because she has been.
Maybe it wasn’t on purpose, or maybe it was heavily relied on the dinner where she went back and forth with Dorian— or the endless fucking suspicion that something was going on. Because who the actual fucking fuck, just ‘stops’ being friends with somebody.
How do you just grow apart and decide to hate each other with unnecessary fucking tension that eats at JJ every fucking second she sees— or hears that they were together?
But she couldn’t say that.
She couldn’t even ask if it was possible because then she’d be deemed the crazy, overprotective and insecure girlfriend, right?
Yeah. Fucking right.
Maybe that’s why Juliette was so ticked off.
Either that, or it was the fact that Ash was lying about dating Trevor.
Oh, yeah? Didn’t you hear?
Ash was fucking Trevor.
Low life of the century, unlucky leprechaun of the pot of weed, at the end of the shitty rainbow that was his fucking life.
Did she deserve better?
No comment at this exact moment in time.
But it wasn’t a no.
“Maybe you just wasn’t really interested in finding me at all, huh? Isn’t there lucky boyfriend number three around here? Should I take out a pot of gold— sorry, should I take out some pot and see if he comes running?”
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
For a brief moment, Ash was stunned into silence by JJ's words -- because yeah, even if she was kind of speaking in a bit of a riddle, it was easy enough to know exactly who she was talking about.
Trevor.
And for a moment, the lump that had started to form in her throat fell straight into her stomach, and Ash felt breathless. Like her lungs had just given out, and the pit in her stomach was going to just like, swallow her whole -- because how else would JJ have known if Maddie hadn't told her?
But no, no, Maddie wouldn't have done that.
Because Maddie knew how JJ would react, and there's no way she would've done something like that. And like... like it wasn't a revolutionary remark in Ash's direction, because who at this point hadn't thought there was something going on between her and Trevor?
It was like... she couldn't even breathe in a guy's direction without someone, at some point, thinking they were going to fuck.
"Oh my god," Ash said with a huff of laughter and a shaking of her head. Her fingers let go of the necklace from Trevor, her arm again following to cross over her stomach with her other arm and the dress. "Sorry that this is probably, like, a new idea to you, but surprise, surprise, girls and boys can be just friends."
Yeah, because that was totally believable.
"I mean, you and Dorian were just friends, right? I mean, I guess until you weren't. And like, Dorian and I were just friends."
Until we weren't.
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
JJ scoffed in disbelief.
She was still fucking lying? How can one person be so completely stupid?
They never trust her.
Why?
Okay, I know what you're thinking, because she's JJ.
But fuck that. JJ kept the secrets that needed to be kept or whatever the fuck, like, at least the secrets she mildly cared about, she didn't give two flying shits if Trevor and Ash wanted to fuck each other behind everyone's back. Ash's sex life wasn't her business by any means, but why was it being kept from her? If someone insists 24-fucking-seven that they're your friend? Act like it?
It isn't that fucking hard.
"I don't understand why you're still lying. Just tell me the fucking truth?! What's the fucking point in lying? Jesus, Ash. You're so--"
She was ready to spit out any and every insult known to man.
But...
Then she brought up Dorian.
"Why'd you even have to bring him up? Huh? Do you think that's instantly going to make me back off? Because you know that--"
She knew she was suspicious.
Ash knew she was suspicious from the fucking start.
Jules shook her head, raising her voice. "I-- fuck you, fuck you, your little fucking leprechaun, low-life, shit fucking ugly as fuck boyfriend that you're so fucking desperate to hide because that's all you do! You just keep lying. You literally refuse to tell the truth about fucking anything and the only people you trust are the ones you fuck you over. Like..."
She couldn't hide it.
And she wasn't about to be a fucking liar like she was.
"Like Maddie. She ratted out your fucking relationship-- but you already know that, if you would've just told me--"
Bull-fucking-shit and they both knew it.
JJ would still give her so much shit even if Ash did tell her.
But it wasn't like she was going to tell anyone.
"If you would've told me..." She started, her tone dwindled down and Juliette's thoughts had started to attack her in an instant.
She couldn't care less about fucking Trevor.
"He started it."
"She started it.'"
"I don't remember what we were talking about..."
"Oh, he was asking me about something for school."
"We grew apart."
"We're just not friends anymore."
"And like, Dorian and I were just friends."
Juliette's demeanor instantly changed, the emotions on her face flickering from confusion, to anger, and a flash of hurt. She didn't say anything. Ash didn't have to say anything. The fucking looks they'd give to each other at dinner, the bickering, the insults, the fucking excuses that they both kept giving to her-- the arguing that they could never explain.
It was there.
It was literally right in front of her fucking face and all Juliette did was ignore it because for a split fucking second, she trusted them.
She wanted to trust them.
But she couldn't trust them anymore than they trusted her.
Boyfriends, best friends, whatever the fuck.
Nothing ever fucking mattered.
JJ threw the bag on the ground with force, gaining some looks from strangers as they walked past. "Just fucking tell me the truth, Ash. Stop lying for once in your perfect fucking life." She wasn't talking about Trevor. Anyone would be able to tell she wasn't talking about Trevor.
Jules scoffed, gesturing towards her and letting her hands fall to her side.
"Or are we still gonna pretend that you're not a lying whore."
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
She'd fucked up. Ash had fucked up.
The breath caught in her lungs, and she looked at JJ for a moment.
Maddie had told her -- Maddie had fucking told her, not even, what, twelve hours after Ash had told her about Trevor? She'd betrayed her, basically stabbed her in the back, and told JJ and now like... like... god. The oxygen was seizing in her lungs, and she couldn't breathe.
JJ wouldn't tell anyone -- she was, like, pretty sure of that, but it was still betraying her trust. She'd wanted to keep it from JJ because... well because it was JJ, and every comment about Trevor that came out of her mouth already was an insult, so like, imagine if she'd been honest.
There was no way JJ would've ever been nice about it.
And Trevor was going to be pissed.
She was fucking up.
And now she'd dragged Dorian into it, and like to be honest, she didn't really care all that much because like... like... fuck him. He was a dick. He sucked. Telling her to not fuck with Lucky, treating her like she was nothing but a bitch since they're breakup, just because she'd found someone that she was happier with.
JJ was looking at her. JJ had asked her to tell the truth and stop lying and yeah, her choice of her words had hurt.
Fucking lying whore.
Like she wasn't wrong.
"I'm so, so sorry," she started, her voice cracking as she started to speak. There were tears brimming at the edge of her vision. Ash knew that she had no right to cry right now, and she wanted to swallow and stop herself, but she couldn't. She shook her head, breaking eye contact with JJ as she looked down.
"I'm... I wanted to umm... when you guys first got together, I wanted... I wanted to tell you," her voice was cracking more, wavering as she tried to talk. "He didn't want to, like... he really, really cares about you, and Dorian he umm... he just wanted to leave it in the past, but..."
Her mouth felt dry. The words were coming out harder and harder.
She lifted her head to look at JJ once more.
"We... dated," she winced as she admitted to it -- the first time she'd admitted to dating Dorian aloud, "it wasn't... it wasn't that... serious, it was my umm... like my freshman year, and it was only for, like..." she hesitated, pursing her lips for a moment before speaking again, "almost... a year."
Anything would be less painful than this.
"I'm so sorry."
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
Jules's gaze turned into a glare as she anticipated what she was going to say.
She knew she was right.
She fucking knew and she fucking hated it.
But anything else would've hurt less than the truth.
Although JJ probably couldn't take another lie.
'Just be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt.'
'You're my friend.'
'I'm just looking out for you.'
"I'm so, so sorry,"
There were too fucking many of them already.
Her glare instantly faded as her eyes started to water and Juliette exhaled a stuttered breath, averting her gaze from the blonde as she continued to listen to her shitty fucking excuses to make herself feel better, her lips settled in a frown and she shook her head, listening to every fucking word that Ash continued to spout as if any of that fucking mattered in the first place.
Dorian wanted to keep it from her? No, she didn't believe that. She believed both of them wanted to.
"We... dated, it wasn't... it wasn't that... serious, it was my umm... like my freshman year, and it was only for, like..."
What?
Two months?
Three?
Six?
She believed that Ash wanted to keep this quiet because she was fucking ashamed that another relationship didn't work out. Because she was so fucking stupid she couldn't even a hold a man. She was a worse girlfriend than she was a friend and she didn't want to admit it. Because Ashton West was the fakest person out and Juliette was practically convinced of that fact.
Jules furiously wiped away a few stray tears.
"... A year."
At this, Juliette's gaze instantly snapped back towards Ash.
"I'm so sorry."
No, you're not.
She didn't say anything at first.
She stared at her in disbelief.
Uncharacteristically quiet.
"... a year." She repeated.
A fucking year?
A mother fucking year relationship and neither of the mentioned it? They decided to keep it a fucking secret? Did they ever plan to tell her? No. Of course not. They thought she was too fucking stupid to piece it together, huh? Poor fucking JJ. Looking for attention wherever she'd get it, right? So it wouldn't matter they lied to her because she'd be too caught up in her relationship to notice.
Juliette crossed her arms, "It was only for a fucking year? You're acting like you dated for a week in kindergarten, Ash this--" She lifted a hand to make a gesture and her words fell short.
Her mouth fell agape and she laughed in disbelief.
She literally started laughing.
Tears were falling and Juliette was fucking laughing.
God, what kind of a psychopath was she?
Who the fuck--
You know what?
No, fuck that.
Fuck her.
She shouldn't be judging herself in this fucking situation. Her laughter gradually faded to a stop and she looked up from the floor to meet her gaze.
"Fuck you, Ash." She spat.
She wanted to say so much more.
Juliette wanted to end her.
Curse out every little thing she had.
The audacity she had to pretend to fucking care about her?
The fucking audacity.
"So much for being fucking friends right? You know why I never admitted to it?" Jules said, taking a step closer to her.
She shoved her harshly and the bag she was holding fell to the ground.
"Because you're a fake bitch."
Another shove.
"A selfish, fake, fucking bitch who doesn't care about anyone else but herself but you pretend like you're so fucking amazing because everyone fucking loves--" JJ choked out a sob, but her anger had gotten the best of her and she was able to raise her voice against the lump in her throat.
Another.
Some people stopped to watch the scene, but Juliette didn't give a shit.
"Everyone fucking loves you and for the life of me I can't understand why. You're a liar. You're a whore. You're the biggest fake in the entire world and every guy literally falls at your fucking feet, all your friends actually fucking care about you and all you do is take everything you have for granted, bat your fucking eyelashes, shed a few tears and whatever you want it's yours."
A last shove and Ash stumbled back this time.
Trevor suddenly came into view, his gaze alternating between Ash and JJ.
Juliette moved to get even closer and Trevor stepped between them, holding JJ back from getting to the blonde.
"Fuck you. Fuck your pathetic fucking boyfriend who's worth less than a fucking bum off the street, I was fucking right. You dating Dorian literally fucking confirmed you have the worst taste in men."
"Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but at least I'm not a fucking liar like you. Did you tell your boyfriend yet? Or did you lie about that too?" Jules looked up to Trevor with a death glare.
"She tell you about fucking my boyfriend?" She said, glancing towards Ash for a mere moment before spitting out the information again. "Don't worry McSeany, it was before the two of you were boning each other, did you know it lasted for a whole fucking year? Huh? No? Oh my gosh! Ash lying again? What a fucking shocker."
"You two are fucking pathetic. A perfect fucking match for each other. I hope the pot of gold at the end of hell is worth it."
Juliette channeled all her anger into whatever strength she had to push Trevor's hand away to point a finger in Ash's face, wholeheartedly ignoring the blonde's tears.
Not her fucking crying like she actually cared. She was only crying because she got caught.
"We're NOT fucking friends," Juliette exclaimed, not taking her gaze off of her as she ignored Trevor's attempts to push her away, the lump in her throat had started to hurt and she croaked on her next words.
"And I'm so fucking happy that we aren't."
Jules picked up a bag off the floor, giving Ash a final glare and turning her back before the blonde had the chance to give out an apology she didn't mean. She rushed out of the mall, the fresh air only reminded her of the wet streaks across her face and the eyes that were on her.
She kept her head down, rounding a corner near one of the back exits of the mall and out of eyesight.
The brunette leaned against the wall, dropping the bag once again onto the ground and putting a hand to her chest, attempting to calm her heaving chest from the uncontrollable sobs that escaped her.
˙·٠•●♥ ପଓ ♥●•٠·˙
Her throat was burning. Her stomach was twisting with guilt, and she was trying to keep back undue tears as she watched JJ fall apart before her, and as she was reminded that this was her fault.
This, right here.
The pain in JJ's eyes, the tears falling down her face, and the venomous hurt dripping from every word that she spat back into Ash's face, it was...
It was all her fault.
There was no way to twist it any other way. It was like... there was no saying "no, no, you're really not to blame," and there was no saying. There was like... there was just like... there was no way to pull the blame and the guilt off of her shoulders. It was completely Ash's fault, because they were friends.
JJ was quiet for a moment, and in that moment, it felt like they were standing on glass. Waiting for it to shatter underneath them. Ash found herself growing completely still, her breath catching in the back of her throat, her tears brimming at the edges of her vision but not falling, as if any wrong move would cause that glass to shatter beneath them.
And then, JJ snapped, and the glass shattered, and Ash exhaled quickly, as if she'd just been punched in the stomach.
"Fuck you, Ash."
That felt like a punch to the stomach.
Her lips parted, trembling, as if she wanted to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. She shook her head, turning her head down, her eyes squeezing tightly shut as tears started to roll down her cheeks.
JJ's words were like knives coated with acid. Like they were slicing into her, and then burning even after the words were gone.
She shoved her, and Ash stumbled back. Her gaze lifted back up, looking at JJ.
"Because you're a fake bitch."
JJ's hands slammed into her again, but Ash didn't do anything to stop it.
There were eyes on them, watching and burning her skin as JJ came again with another shove.
JJ kept yelling at her -- saying all these things that weren't... that weren't true, no matter... no matter how many... how many people said them... what she was saying... they weren't true.
Another shove, and Ash stumbled back more than before, nearly losing her balance.
She was prepared for another shove, a slap, a punch... whatever JJ might decide to do, and she didn't try to move out of the way, or say anything.
There wasn't anything she could say, and moving out of the way...
Well, she deserved it.
It was fine.
But before JJ could come at her again, someone moved into view and blocked JJ from getting to her. Her gaze, once glued to JJ's, now blinked and moved to the figure between them. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion before she recognized the brunette boy before her, but then the confusion just grew.
Why was Trevor--
"Fuck you." JJ started in again, and her gaze moved back to her friend. "Fuck your pathetic fucking boyfriend who's worth less than a fucking bum off the street, I was fucking right. You dating Dorian literally fucking confirmed you have the worst taste in men. Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but at least I'm not a fucking liar like you. Did you tell your boyfriend yet? Or did you lie about that too?"
"JJ, no--" Ash started, but her voice was soft, weak, it didn't matter.
"She tell you about fucking my boyfriend?"
Her chest was being squeezed. She couldn't fucking breathe.
"Don't worry McSeany, it was before the two of you were boning each other, did you know it lasted for a whole fucking year? Huh? No? Oh my gosh! Ash lying again? What a fucking shocker."
"You two are fucking pathetic. A perfect fucking match for each other. I hope the pot of gold at the end of hell is worth it."
And then JJ managed to push past Trevor, and she brought a finger into Ash's face. Ash flinched back instinctively, but then she relaxed, hazel eyes glued to JJ's.
"We're NOT fucking friends," Juliette exclaimed.
"And I'm so fucking happy that we aren't."
Ash winced, her lips parted again, but there was nothing for her to say as JJ grabbed her bag up off the floor and took off. Part of her thought maybe she should go after her, but that would just... make it all so much worse. She knew that. She had fucked up, fucked up, fucked up.
She turned her head down again, tears gathering in her eyes.
Now that the moment was over, she became more aware of the people around them -- watching, pointing, whispering amongst themselves, and she knew it was bad, bad, bad. Bad publicity or... whatever if it got out. Like if it got out what had just happened, that it was her.
Nervous fingers pressed against the star pendant on her necklace again and she lifted her head to look at Trevor, her eyes searching his gaze for a moment, and then she gave a tilt of her head and broke eye contact.
"Let's just umm..." she sniffed. "Let's just go." She mumbled, and turned on her heel to head in the opposite direction that JJ had taken off in and started walking away.
Her pace was quick, and it didn't slow down until they'd exited the mall -- until the pointing, and the whispering, and the staring had all ceased.
playing...
Bored
Bored
by Billie Eilish
mentions
Dorian, Trevor, Lucky, Javi, Newt
Dorian, Trevor, Lucky, Javi, Newt
