Viewpoint Ghosters, why do you do it?

[ApfelSeine]

Usually I maintain contact with those who I've been rping with for a long time, but I've found that even people I've known for years will disconnect from the internet, sometimes for good. I tend to get attached to people, so I miss them from time to time, but that's just how life is. It is probably presumptuous of me to assume any specific motivation behind it, but having spent years on the site, I'd say that a fair number of my rp buddies either grew out of the hobby, got busy in real life, or had some sort of major change to manage. I rarely get a reason for it, or any sort of formal goodbye, so all I can do is wish them well from where I am. But I enjoyed the times we had, so I can reflect fondly back on many an unfinished rp.

As for more short term partnerships, I've gotten used to the sort of trial and error that comes with finding compatible rp partners. Honestly I think I've found more friends than rp buddies on this site overall, though that suits me well enough. Often I see people continue on with other roleplays after ghosting me, but honestly I figure that's for the best. I'll follow up on things if I felt really invested in a game, but I can understand that it's hard to juggle multiple things at a time. It's only natural that people put most of their attention into what really sparks their interest at any given time.

In my own case, I can be the forgetful type sometimes. Mostly this is due to academics taking priority over everything else, but also there are times I've started more games than I can manage to keep tabs on. I don't believe I've ever intentionally ghosted anyone (other than once with someone who kept pushing my boundaries and would not stop trying to make me respond faster), but there are a lot of times that I have forgotten it was my turn to respond. Some people leave it at that and move on, but it's good etiquette to respond honestly if someone does reach out to ask what's up, so I try my best to do that. Still, knowing that this is how I am, I extend the benefit of the doubt to anyone who disappears on me.

Oftentimes an straightforward answer can be gleaned from sending a respectful follow up message to someone, though in general I'd say it's best not to push things. Better to move on from anyone who you're not particularly attached to if they're not available, or at least that's what I think. That time is better spent with any stronger friendships you've made.

 

[Gowi]

I prefer to be honest with people than to ghost, tbh.

Sometimes I do lose track of conversations and my would-be partner doesn't do a follow-up. That's fine, not really ghosting in my mind though. Ghosting is when you already made a commitment and act like a coward and don't tell your partner you're not interested anymore and you'll be dropping out.

 

[Nostalchiq]

I prefer to be honest with people than to ghost, tbh.

Sometimes I do lose track of conversations and my would-be partner doesn't do a follow-up. That's fine, not really ghosting in my mind though. Ghosting is when you already made a commitment and act like a coward and don't tell your partner you're not interested anymore and you'll be dropping out.

I feel the same way. If you're still in the process of getting something going and someone doesn't respond then it's clear that they aren't interested anymore, and while I still think it's better to let the other person know I don't let it get to me when it happens. It's when I have a friendship and writing relationship already established and they vanish that I consider it ghosting.