Advice/Help Do I just feel like I can't grasp between RP and reality? Does it become too combined?

[Femboy]

I've not been good for the past however and I've done some bad moments that have more emotionally set me off more than it normally should any person. I feel like all the characters I've made are just projections of some part of me, and at times I'm so defensive and serious about things meant to be for fun. I started and liked RP because it was atleast a chance to get away from the worser parts of life and dream a little, but I feel like I've maybe not had so much outside of RP that my feelings take over any chance they get and I'm never logical or sensible about anything. I don't know if RP is harmful at this point but it feels like not doing it will harm me even more, and it's not something that feels like it can be easily explained to someone when something fictional can take more of a toll on someone from being removed from it more than the loss of a person close to me. It's like it feels like knowing I didn't get to see a good ending let alone an ending at all feels so personal to me and I don't know why.
Maybe it's a hard point to answer but I've been through so many people and multiple therapists and counsellors who just gave up and couldn't help me, and all I needed was something enjoyable to be happy but I don't know how to correctly place or use my own feelings until it's too late and I downspiral into just causing more problems out of my own regret.

If this seems the wrong place to consider such a thing, I was only expecting that maybe someone would be used to the same sort of thing and that I dont really have anyone I want to keep asking, and that writing my thoughts down to someone might possibly help things better.

 

[EmperorNorton1]

you care about roleplaying. you care about the characters you build (especially if there is some piece of you in them. which unless if you are playing with pre-created characters, almost everyone puts a piece of themselves into the people they build.), the connections they have with others, and the connections that you have with the person who you built the world with. it's understandable that you get attatched, that your emotions get pulled in, and you feel deeply when things dont go certain ways. it's normal. and i'd say that just about everyone here shares your passion for the stories we can make, that's why we are all here.

but burnout is reall, and it's rough. and it's easy to get in too deep, feel like you are too involved, and have events from roleplay boost or hamper your mood excessivly when you shut the screen. and i know that odd sensation of something twisting in your chest when you have to put a stop to something that you are in too deep with. and that grief is normal. and your worries are normal, and im glad you are willing enough to trust us to share your thoughts.

roleplaying can be a healthy outlet, with boundries. if you worry too much that this charictar iss you and that the roleplay is a wish fuffillment story, and that isnt what you are here for, then focus on the trasits that are different from you. i've found that this helps, i've made some very cringy charictars who i put through a lot of angst. (the most nutorious one having my deadname and the exact same physical atributes as me. she wasnt quite a mary sue, but she was painfully an edgelord, with the personality of a 14 year old tankie. :| )those charictars are the ones that everyone starts off making, so dont worry about that, you'll grow into it.

it is very very important to not rely entierly on just one source for joy, just one way to de-stress. what else do you enjoy? do you have any other sources of social interaction?

i dont know how best to articulate, but i'm here for you. i've been there before, getting in too deep.

 

[Daisie]

I'm with EmperorNorton on this one - it sounds like you have no outlets outside of RP. I completely understand, as I realized I'd slipped into the same habit about a month ago.

If you've become dependent upon RP to feel a sense of normality in life, I think it's time to begin looking for other outlets. Finding friends, making new hobbies, ect. will help distribute that emotional load more evenly, and you might be able to find enjoyment in RP again, as well as in other facets of your life.

If you find you feel too attached to RP even when trying out other things, it may also be beneficial to take a small break from it. A few days, a week, however long you think you might need to disengage and clear your head a little. It's never easy when you're right in the middle of it.

Take a deep breath. It's not as life-ending as it may seem in the moment. You'll be okay, and the fact that you've recognized the issue is a sign of good emotional maturity

Best of luck, friend!

 

[Femboy]

you care about roleplaying. you care about the characters you build (especially if there is some piece of you in them. which unless if you are playing with pre-created characters, almost everyone puts a piece of themselves into the people they build.), the connections they have with others, and the connections that you have with the person who you built the world with. it's understandable that you get attatched, that your emotions get pulled in, and you feel deeply when things dont go certain ways. it's normal. and i'd say that just about everyone here shares your passion for the stories we can make, that's why we are all here.

but burnout is reall, and it's rough. and it's easy to get in too deep, feel like you are too involved, and have events from roleplay boost or hamper your mood excessivly when you shut the screen. and i know that odd sensation of something twisting in your chest when you have to put a stop to something that you are in too deep with. and that grief is normal. and your worries are normal, and im glad you are willing enough to trust us to share your thoughts.

roleplaying can be a healthy outlet, with boundries. if you worry too much that this charictar iss you and that the roleplay is a wish fuffillment story, and that isnt what you are here for, then focus on the trasits that are different from you. i've found that this helps, i've made some very cringy charictars who i put through a lot of angst. (the most nutorious one having my deadname and the exact same physical atributes as me. she wasnt quite a mary sue, but she was painfully an edgelord, with the personality of a 14 year old tankie. :| )those charictars are the ones that everyone starts off making, so dont worry about that, you'll grow into it.

it is very very important to not rely entierly on just one source for joy, just one way to de-stress. what else do you enjoy? do you have any other sources of social interaction?

i dont know how best to articulate, but i'm here for you. i've been there before, getting in too deep.

I'm with EmperorNorton on this one - it sounds like you have no outlets outside of RP. I completely understand, as I realized I'd slipped into the same habit about a month ago.

If you've become dependent upon RP to feel a sense of normality in life, I think it's time to begin looking for other outlets. Finding friends, making new hobbies, ect. will help distribute that emotional load more evenly, and you might be able to find enjoyment in RP again, as well as in other facets of your life.

If you find you feel too attached to RP even when trying out other things, it may also be beneficial to take a small break from it. A few days, a week, however long you think you might need to disengage and clear your head a little. It's never easy when you're right in the middle of it.

Take a deep breath. It's not as life-ending as it may seem in the moment. You'll be okay, and the fact that you've recognized the issue is a sign of good emotional maturity

Best of luck, friend!

I get that it would make sense to just find another outlet of enjoyment, but I can't. I don't really have anyone else to be around or talk to outside of an RP scenario in which there are people that I dont want to bother anymore with my own thoughts. I've been through so many hobbies and different things just trying to find enjoy and it's myself that keeps messing things up. I have a hard enough time to go back to outside of RP and it feels like I need that encouragement to do it to find motivation to handle anything else, for there isn't another option.