rambler
The Travelling Storyteller
"How the hell did you end up here!? Sorry... no pun intended, but you just don't seem like the type meant for the eternal fires of hell. As a matter of fact, you are purer than most damned souls in the Limbo! Oh... yes... I forgot you just arrived here. Guess I have to give a proper explanation. You might have heard of this, but a while ago a good ol'chap from the world of the living was sent here to our humble abode to document it - does the name Dante Alighieri ring any bells? Well, anyway, this Dante guy was sent down here due to a misunderstanding on his way to Heaven so the big man in the sky decided that it would be funny (curse him and his sense of humor...) to have a mortal man witness the horrors the sinners have to go through in the abysmal Inferno.
I tell ya, this happened centuries ago but I still remember very vividly how everyone suddenly got their panties tied up in a knot over the fact that this writer or whatever was coming to visit. No joking, they upped all of the tortures just so we could impress him and I think it definitely worked. The guy was scarred for life and even wrote a book then died a year later! "The Divine Comedy" he titled it, and gave all of us demons and spawns of Satan a whole separate section~ It was quite an honor to be included in arguably the most infamous part of his life's work~ I especially enjoyed his description of the heretics burning up in heated tombs as well as others scratching their skin feverishly as it peels off. Hey... hey!? Are you okay!? You looked kinda sick there for a moment, as if you were going to faint and you haven't even entered the Inferno yet!... Don't push yourself. The horrors of Hell aren't that bad! I mean, I already told you that everyone did their best to impress Dante back in the day so the guy was exaggerating! You know, you shouldn't be this gullible and trust in everything you read or hear! Exaggeration has always been an integral literary device.
Plus, we gave up on medieval-style tortures a long long while ago. I mean, that's so 13th century. It's natural that with the advancement of the world of the living we had to step up our game as well! It took us a while but we completely renovated the place. It's quite obvious, isn't it? Merely from the looks of the lobby you can instantly see how much we have changed due to our creativity, strategics, wits, combined with billions of sinners forced into labor! Hm?... no, no, not manual labor. Let's see, how do I put this??? You know how everyone on the surface world loathes work and all that jazz??? Well, our boss thought that it would be a marvelous idea to make eternal suffering composed of working in business. Imagine being stuck at a cubical for all of eternity. This way the souls of the lost will suffer quite enough to retain Hell's purpose, but we will additionally be able to create a huge corporation to pamper to those idiots in the world of the living. Those flesh bags are pretty hilarious in how easily they fall for our marketing tricks~
Ah! Sorry for the short diversion there. Anyway, I will try to keep this short, but you are currently in Limbo - the first floor of "Helel Corporations", Lucifer's domain, catering to all of your sinful desires since the dawn of time. Seeing as you appear to have been sent here by mistake as your case file is missing (or might have been lost along the way), you will have to traverse to the 9th floor in order to meet with our CEO. As a newcomer, you will be personally escorted by me. Additionally, here is a short leaflet giving a retrospect of our 9 departments together with their mottoes."
Circle I - Limbo aka Reception - "Welcome to Hell, you scum"
Circle II - Lust aka Department of Adult-oriented Products - "Love is temporary, lust is eternal"
Circle III - Gluttony aka Department of Food and Addictive Substances - "Eat whatever you want, and if someone tells you otherwise - eat them as well"
Circle IV - Avarice and Prodigality aka Department of Gambling and Banking - "Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery"
Circle V - Wrath and Sullenness aka Department of Planned Assassination - "Anger management is a lie. Just hire a hitman"
Circle VI - Heresy aka Department of Propaganda and Media - "Heresy is another word for freedom of thought"
Circle VII - Violence aka Department of War and Arms Trade - "If violence isn't solving your problems, you simply aren't using enough of it"
Circle VIII - Fraud aka Department of Trickery and the Art of Theft- "If you can't convince them, confuse them"
Circle IX - Treachery aka Department of Selfishness - "Death's too short to think of others"
"Now that that is all done, let us be on our way. Please be careful about who you converse with since not all souls are as friendly and helpful as I am. Also, please watch your step as some demons are not really at the height of an average human but are definitely capable of incinerating one if they are stepped on... Oh, I almost forgot! The elevators are in the bad habit of suddenly malfunctioning for hours on end, which leads to them being attacked by malicious beast residing in the spaces between different floors. Apart from that, be on the look out for any uneven tiles as they might break off at any moment, revealing the cremating hellfires. I sincerely apologize for this but we did everything in our power to attempt to put them out and make the business look more presentable, yet they have a mind of their own. Basically, don't touch anything and always keep your eyes peeled... Fuck! How could I forget! Um, I'm sorry but this is my first day on the job and, well... my name is Vassago, the demon Prince of Prophecy and ruler of Limbo. However, currently I am simply your guide."
Bada-bing, Bada-boom
"What if Hell was a corporation???" Such weird thoughts can only come to a person as weird as me, though I will be honest when saying this roleplaying idea is heavily inspired by Dante's "Inferno" (obviously) together with the movie "Thank you for smoking". Anyway, the gist of the game will be that 6 dead souls are mistakenly send to Hell, despite the fact that they are overly pure (this doesn't make them necessarily good people, but simply individuals that have done nothing wrong or at least atoned for their sins). Greeted by Vassago, the Prince of Prophecy, they instantaneously stand out as he realizes through his abilities that they definitely do not belong here. Not knowing what to do with these... grossly pure humans, he makes the brash decision to help them out through leading them through the... floors of the Inferno, as by now it takes on the form of an endless skyscraper rather than an abyss. In order to do so, he will have to journey along the 9 Departments of Hell, meeting each and every one's chief to ask for permission to move on. The chiefs of the different departments (who don't really like Vassago, despite him being of the same status as them) are known as the "death dealers" - a group of 8 who engage in unorthodox businesses that aim to result in the misery and even death of humans. Every week this gang comes together and they brag to each other about whose business has taken the lives of more people on the surface world. Basically, these demons are terrible, horrible creatures. Due to this, they all take immediate interest in the new "toys", the purity of whom tempt the department chiefs to try their best to taint the humans through convincing them that what their business stands for is ultimately good. Ensue chaos.
So, this will be a rather lighthearted roleplay with some dark-humor thrown in. The playable characters are the 6 humans as well as the 8 "death dealers". I, as the GM, will be taking on the role of Vassago and all NPCs along the way~ The character limit per roleplayer is two - one human and one demon. Additionally, when choosing a demon to play as, please pick one that is actually canonical to Christianity as well as possesses some powers relating to their department. If you are having trouble finding a suitable one, here is a @Dear Inspector
5. @Sizniche
6. @Pretzel Heart
[/Column]
Demons
1. Vassago (@HornedGhost)
2. @CrimsonEclipse
3. @gogojojo331
4. @Abyss
5. Glasya-Labolas (@Cephalo)
6. Bune (@Pushks)
7.
8. Valac (@Dr Nyx)
9.
[/Row]
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