character dump (feedback welcome)

[PhoenixMire]

hey hi
I'm gonna throw some characters in here, but this'll be a WIP for a while. I have a hard time deciding specifics about my characters (especially names ughhh) but I want somewhere I can throw my OCs. I usually put them in the private workshop section, but I'd like to put them here so I can get some feedback and actually start using them for things.
So yeah, feedback is welcome. Although I admit - I don't like making my forms super detailed, so if your critique is "make the forms way more detailed", then... that's not really my style, I'm sorry.

 

[PhoenixMire]

The following are best for: urban fantasy RPs; in which humans know about magic and magical beings

Eli Brown
18; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Sorcerer
  Build ............... A bit short at 5'6, skinny, not very well-built.
  Skin tone ..... Fair
  Eye color ..... Pale pink
  Hair color .... Light blonde
  Clothing ....... He generally prefers to wear light colors and slightly looser clothes, since he finds them comfortable. Can usually be found in sneakers and long-sleeve shirts or hoodies (or T-shirts in warmer weather).
• Sorcerers mingle amongst humans without too much issue. The only feature setting them apart from humans is their eyes; their irises are always varying hues of pink. (This isn't a problem though, since humans know about magical beings and don't take much issue with them.) Of course as their name implies, they have magical abilities. Each sorcerer is born with propensity towards a specific type of magic that most of them spend their lives developing. A lot of them dabble in potion making to some extent.
• Magic
  
  Healing: This ability drains Eli's energy at a pretty quick pace. The bigger the wound, the more exhausting it is for him to deal with. It might be possible for him to heal a devastating injury within seconds, but this would likely sap him of energy so quickly he'd die. He mainly sticks to helping stop bleeding, and if he's feeling more energetic, he can speed up the healing process a bit. This ability is nigh-useless if he's exhausted, and he can't regrow something that isn't there, such as a lost limb.
  Shield: He has the ability to create small force fields. He can form them around himself, other people, or even items, as long as it's within his sight and stays within his sight. The shield will fall when it's out of his sight. He can't create any shields too large (but he can control their size to an extent) and he can't make more than one at once.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: His small size can make dodging, running, and fitting through small spaces easier
  Other strengths: Gentle, empathetic, patient​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Small, a bit weak, poor endurance
  Other weaknesses: Naive, indecisive, not easily motivated​
• Personality
  
  He's sweet, polite, and generally leaves a good first impression on people, but his naivete can pose a problem for him sometimes. There's a lot he doesn't understand. It can be difficult to motivate him to do anything he doesn't want to (or to not do something he does want to), so in that case, he can occasionally be stubborn and even lazy - but it would only take a bit of smooth talking to make him fall for almost anything. As long as he's pushed to, he might be willing to do a lot to help someone he'd consider a good friend.​
  Backstory
  
  Eli's parents were very protective of him. He grew up seeing pretty much only what they wanted him to see. Although he tried not to let this bother him, eventually he got tired of it, and asked to move out the moment he turned eighteen. His parents moved him into a fairly nice loft apartment and continue to pay most of the rent for it. He's taken on a couple jobs in an attempt to become fully independent and pay for his own housing, but he's got a bit of a ways to go.​

Luca Thorne
20; male​

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Shadow mage
  Build ............... Stands at 5'11 and is thin and lithely-built
  Skin tone ..... Medium-dark
  Eye color ..... Golden-red
  Hair color .... Pale silvery orange
  Clothing ....... Often wears fitted clothes, whether it's T-shirts or jeans or jackets. Tends to wear necklaces.
• His race looks like horned humans; they say the longer their horns, the more powerful the individual is. The color of their horns can generally indicate what kind of magical abilities they possess (Luca's horns are dark orange). A lot of them have shadow magic of some kind; some of them have flame magic, and even rarer is necromancy, though this is considered forbidden magic.
• Magic
  
  Shadows: He can manipulate shadows, creating mild illusions from them. In brightly-lit areas with few shadows, there isn't much of anything to manipulate, so his powers are much weaker. It takes a lot of concentration and focus for him to be able to make any kind of illusion. Larger and more complex ones are too difficult for him to bother with most times, so he prefers to create smaller ones if he has to.
  Flame: He can spark a flame to life within his palm and manipulate it. He can even cover his entire body in flame, though that's exhausting to him, and he prefers not to - even if it won't actually harm him. (He's fairly heat-resistant as a whole, not bothered by high temperatures, but easily bothered by cold.) The fire feeds directly into his energy; the larger the blaze and the longer it lasts, the more it saps his stamina.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Quick, light on his feet, somewhat strong, good with magic
  Other strengths: Decisive, quick thinker, honest​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not built for endurance, won't win a battle of brute strength, not as skilled without his magic
  Other weaknesses: Cocky, antisocial, poor listener, quick to make dumb choices, overly blunt​
• Personality
  
  He tends to be antisocial solely because he doesn't like people; for the most part, he looks down his nose at a lot of them. He generally leaves a first impression of being arrogant and rude (and with a scathing sense of humor). His blunt honesty is both a blessing and a curse; while some might take comfort in the fact that he doesn't lie, he does tend to be honest to the point of offending people. Deep down, he's probably got some kindness in there somewhere, but it would take a lot to bring into the open. He isn't good at expressing himself. One might find that he's very reluctant and awkward when it comes to talking about himself, so he doesn't even try.​
  Backstory
  
  He was born to very wealthy parents that never cared for him too much. They looked down on everyone they considered "beneath" them, which was a view Luca eventually accepted as well. When he was nineteen, his parents died in a car crash. He was surprised and upset to find that they had willed their mansion and most of their wealth to his uncle instead of him, leaving their son only enough money to pay an apartment's rent for a while. He moved out of the mansion and into a fairly nice apartment with the money he'd received, and is still trying to figure out how to provide for himself in the wake of his parents' death.​

 

[PhoenixMire]

The following are best for: urban fantasy RPs; in which humans don't know about magic or magical beings

Xavier Benson
20; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Elemental
  Build ............... Standing at 5'11, Xavier is slender and nimble.
  Skin tone ..... Slightly tan
  Eye color ..... Blue
  Hair color .... Blonde
  Clothing ....... He likes to wear T-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and sneakers most the time - though sometimes he can be found without the hoodie. He never reveals his inhuman features unless he knows he's alone, so he always keeps his hood up; when he isn't wearing a hoodie (which isn't often), he'll wear a beanie to hide his horns and ears instead. He always has a silver crescent moon necklace.
• Some legends describe elemental "demons", powerful creatures with control over the weather, the elements, and the very earth itself. Though they aren't actually demons, the myths refer to them as such due to their horns and tails.
  This is what Xavier's supposed to be, though he isn't as powerful as the legends describe. Since humans don't know about the existence of magical beings, they're always in hiding, and it can therefore be difficult to find other members of his race or any accurate information about them that isn't exaggerated by myths. As such, not much is known about the true nature of elementals.
• Magic
  
  Ice: He has slight control over ice. Since he's spent his life being too afraid to use it much, this ability is very unpracticed, and he doesn't know the extents of what he can do with it. He can summon small ice crystals, make his environments a little bit colder, and slowly freeze things with a touch - though this is difficult for him to do. It's easier to freeze smaller, inanimate things. Trying to freeze anything living requires a lot of concentration and energy, and plus it just isn't something he likes to do, so he often doesn't bother.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Light on his feet, fast runner, good at climbing, very nimble
  Other strengths: Kind, laid-back, not easily angered​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not very strong, never been able to hold his own in a fight, always chooses to escape instead
  Other weaknesses: Much too slow to trust, headstrong, doesn't like accepting help, closed-off​
• Personality
  
  Xavier, to anyone meeting him for the first time, seems laid-back and generally nice, even in spite of his occasionally sarcastic humor. One will notice, however, that if they try to get close to him, he's very distant and evasive. He constantly dodges personal questions and never likes to share much about himself. He's distrustful of people, and is generally uninterested in relationships of any kind.​
  Backstory
  
  For his entire life, he's kept to himself and tried to hide the fact that he isn't human. He's done a pretty good job of it. He and his parents (which were also elementals) took good care of each other - up until Xavier was eighteen, when they both died from an illness, leaving him their house on the outskirts of a suburb. He stays there and has since been merely trying to survive by taking up various part time jobs.​

Mia Elwyn
19; female

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Human
  Build ............... She stands at 5'4, with a thin frame and not very curvy.
  Skin tone ..... Light
  Eye color ..... Brown
  Hair color .... Dark, she usually dyes it so it fades to pink
  Clothing ....... She tends to favor pastel colors and likes skirts and tights, but occasionally will wear pants. She likes looser-fitting tops and necklaces.
• Talents
  
  Good with English and grammar, can sew at least a little bit, and is a decent cook​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Has fairly good fine motor skills she uses for sewing and embroidery
  Other strengths: Hard-working, intelligent, focused​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not fit at all, isn't too interested in exercise or her physical wellbeing
  Other weaknesses: Obsessive, stubborn, selfish, easily irritated​
• Personality
  
  She's headstrong, determined, and gets what she wants by her own hard work. She wants to make a good life for herself. However, she can be a little bit too work-oriented, making her obsessed with learning and working, so she has little time for others. She can be very selfish, sometimes without even realizing it - simply because she cares more about furthering herself than caring for others and tends to neglect everyone around her, including her friends. She can be hotheaded at times and gets easily frustrated when someone doesn’t see her point or understand what she wants.​
  Backstory
  
  Her family wasn't the most well-off. Though they weren't rich, they weren't necessarily poor, either; there was just a lot they couldn't afford. Mia grew up with her parents teaching her to only buy what she needed and to be grateful for what she had. Although she's glad for the lessons she learned from them, she decided that the moment she gained independence, she would work hard to be able to enjoy some of the things she never could as a child. Currently she works part-time as a receptionist and does freelance editing on the side.​

 

[PhoenixMire]

The following are best for: medieval fantasy RPs

Freniar Crow
(pronounced 'fray-near')
23; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Nickname ... Frey
  Race ............... Naimar
  Build ............... Standing tall at 6'2, he's wiry and slender.
  Skin tone ..... Very pale
  Eye color ..... He has heterochromia; his right eye is light greenish and his left is purple
  Hair color .... Dark
  Clothing ....... He tends to wear tunics with laced-up fronts and sleeves, and simplistic brown or black trousers that he often tucks into shin-high leather boots. He can often be found with a thin silver chain round his neck and in his pointed ears.
• The Naimar are a horned race that generally lives in Northern areas. A lot of them are skilled jewelers, and make jewelry that they trade with other races and kingdoms. Their build frequently belies their supernatural strength. They can lift and carry ridiculously heavy things without breaking a sweat. Sometimes they might possess a slight propensity towards magic, and some of them will study sorcery, but this isn't necessarily common. It is said that if their horns are cut off, they will lose all their magical abilities and their strength.
• Magic
  
  Strength: Like any other Naimar, he's very strong, even though he doesn't look it in the slightest. It would be unwise to misjudge his strength based solely on his slender appearance. He could easily lift and carry a very large boulder without breaking a sweat, or anything else equally heavy. However, just like any other being, he has his limits, and can get tired easily. Carrying around something heavy for a long time would be exhausting to anyone, after all.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Brute strength and power
  Other strengths: Outgoing, carefree, confident​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Relies too much on physical strength; lacks actual skill
  Other weaknesses: Disloyal, uncaring, fickle​
• Personality
  
  He seems charismatic at first. Despite the fact that he can be a bit of a tease and somewhat sarcastic, he still comes across as friendly and easygoing. However, his personality is a bit 'mercenary' - he has no love for the law, and he lacks conviction and doesn't like being tied down to one specific thing or area for too long. Although he doesn't like to do anything too terribly illegal that would get him caught and thrown in a dungeon, he isn't afraid to bend the rules a bit and do things he thinks he can get away with. He isn't loyal and will easily abandon anyone or anything he grows tired of.​
  Backstory
  
  He was born in a northern kingdom, in a village populated by Naimar that were content to spend their lives farming and selling jewelry to travelers and traders. Frey was restless and bored with this life. One day he merely left home without a word to travel the world.
  He's made a few friends during his travels, a lot of which have ended up betraying him or abandoning him in some way or another, eventually leading him to believe that people don't deserve his trust, and that it's easier to survive if one doesn't get too invested in anything.​

Adri Ward
20; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Fila
  Build ............... Stands at 5'8 and is a little more muscular than he might look through his clothes
  Skin tone ..... Dark
  Eye color ..... Orange
  Hair color .... Blonde with brown tips
  Clothing ....... He likes to wear loose, airy tunics and trousers with short deerskin boots. He always has a bandage over his left eye.
• Fila are a race of magical beings with influence over the earth. They are nomadic, traveling in large groups called tribes and following the paths of various species of butterflies, believing them to be their guardian spirits. Generally they keep to themselves and don't like outsiders, but some of them venture away from their groups and into society.
• Magic
  
  Earth: As the other members of his race can, Adri can manipulate the earth around him. He can convince stones to move, the dirt beneath him to shift, and encourage plants to grow. Of course, as anything does, using his magic takes energy, and performing any large feat is exhausting. He prefers to only use his magic when necessary.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Light on his feet, skilled with a sword
  Other strengths: Loyal, well-meaning, doesn't often complain​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Tires easily, can't hold his own without a sword
  Other weaknesses: Timid, hesitant to take risks, bad at communication​
• Personality
  
  Although he's typically nice, he's a bit timid. He enjoys being around his friends and family but sometimes just doesn't know how to talk to them. Sometimes a sad, almost longing look will cross his face, though he never explains why. He doesn't talk about himself much and doesn't like to complain. He can seem a bit solemn most of the time, but he has a stupid sense of humor that those closest to him like to roll their eyes at. It's always been a dream of his to get out and see the world, though he feels like he would be abandoning his family if he did - and he's a little afraid to leave the comfort of his tribe as well.​
  Backstory
  
  Adri's tribe has traveled between two plentiful grasslands depending on the season for as long as anyone can remember. Although life has been mostly uneventful, his eye was damaged irreparably in a sword practice accident when he was fifteen. He was afraid of swordplay for a few years after that - but eventually got back into it, since he wanted to be able to protect his family against possible threats.​

 

[dazzling]

Best for: urban fantasy RP; in which humans know about magic and magical beings

screw names​

23; male

Spoiler: appearance

will insert a picture later

​

• basics

• Race ............... (I'm bad at naming anything, send help)

• basics
• race
• abilities
• abilities
• personal info
• personal info

• 
  Build ............... Tall, wiry, lithely-built
  Skin tone ..... Medium/dark-ish skin tone
  Eye color ..... Golden-red
  Hair color .... Pale silvery orange-ish
  Clothing ....... (I'll probably come up with this when I draw him oops)
• His race looks like horned humans; they say the longer their horns, the more powerful the individual is. The color of their horns can generally indicate what kind of magical abilities they possess. A lot of them have shadow magic of some kind; some of them have flame magic, and even rarer is necromancy, though this is considered forbidden magic.
• Magic
• 
  
  Shadows: He can manipulate shadows, creating illusions or even forming them into physical objects. However, this only works depending on how many shadows he's surrounded by; his powers are weaker in brightly-lit areas, and stronger in the dark. He's spent his life practicing this ability, but it still requires a lot of focus, and it's difficult for him to concentrate hard enough to make large objects or illusions that are too vivid and detailed. Generally his creations don't last very long, and they can be destroyed by bright lights.​
  
  
  Flame: He can spark a flame to life within his palm and manipulate it. He can even cover his entire body in flame, though that's exhausting to him, and he prefers not to - even if it won't actually harm him. (He's fairly heat-resistant as a whole, not bothered by high temperatures, but easily bothered by cold.) The fire feeds directly into his energy; the larger the blaze and the longer it lasts, the more it saps his stamina.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Quick, light on his feet, somewhat strong, good with magic​
  
  
  Other strengths: Decisive, quick thinker, honest​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not built for endurance, won't win a battle of brute strength, not as skilled without his magic​
  
  
  Other weaknesses: Cocky, not a good listener, quick to make dumb choices, overly blunt​
• Personality
• 
  
  To those who don't know him very well, he frequently comes across as rude, arrogant, and selfish. If one gets to know him, however, they'll find he can be genuine and even sometimes nice - he's just really awkward about it and doesn't know how to express himself. Therefore, he can seem a bit closed off at times. He isn't a good listener and tends to be rash. His blunt honestly is both a blessing and a curse; though it might be comforting to some to know that he's very honest, his straightforwardness can be frustrating and rude at times.​
  Backstory
  
  His family was extremely rich. Although to the outside observer, it seems that he grew up getting everything he wanted, his parents were unfortunately not very loving. They were controlling, expecting him to keep his mind sharp and engaged in learning at all times, and they were strict about having him perfect his magical abilities. They died when he was sixteen, leaving behind a mansion and an ample inheritance for their son.​

Omg! These are all greattt! Tbh tho… I think this character would be BOMB as a girl! Even so, he's great as a boy!

 

[Idea]

Oh there are some actual characters here now.

Alright, so which ones are WIP and which ones are open for feedback?

 

[PhoenixMire]

Omg! These are all greattt! Tbh tho… I think this character would be BOMB as a girl! Even so, he's great as a boy!

Lol thanks! I just don't play female characters often but I should probably try. Maybe I'll make some female OCs to use in future RPs.

Oh there are some actual characters here now.

Alright, so which ones are WIP and which ones are open for feedback?

Basically all of them are open?? They're all WIPs to an extent, but I appreciate feedback nonetheless since it can help me in their development. :')

 

[dazzling]

Lol thanks! I just don't play female characters often but I should probably try. Maybe I'll make some female OCs to use in future RPs.


Basically all of them are open?? They're all WIPs to an extent, but I appreciate feedback nonetheless since it can help me in their development. :')

No prob! Don't go out of your comfort zone or anything, just thought that would be cool

 

[Idea]

Lol thanks! I just don't play female characters often but I should probably try. Maybe I'll make some female OCs to use in future RPs.


Basically all of them are open?? They're all WIPs to an extent, but I appreciate feedback nonetheless since it can help me in their development. :')

Nah, I prefer to go over characters when they are finished. No point in offering criticism only to get responses like "Oh I haven't made that part yet"

 

[PhoenixMire]

Nah, I prefer to go over characters when they are finished. No point in offering criticism only to get responses like "Oh I haven't made that part yet"

Makes sense. They're all pretty much done in terms of personality and abilities and weaknesses/strengths, but I am still trying to work out backstories and... of course, appearances and names.

 

[Idea]

Feel free to let me know when you're finished

 

[dazzling]

Makes sense. They're all pretty much done in terms of personality and abilities and weaknesses/strengths, but I am still trying to work out backstories and... of course, appearances and names.

names.

 

[PhoenixMire]

Wow I actually named my OCs, hell has officially frozen over

Also added a bunch more, organized things a little better, and I'm essentially done except for maybe refining some appearances. That's about it

 

[Idea]

The following are best for: urban fantasy RPs; in which humans know about magic and magical beings

Eli Brown
18; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Sorcerer
  Build ............... A bit short at 5'6, skinny, not very well-built.
  Skin tone ..... Fair
  Eye color ..... Pale pink
  Hair color .... Light blonde
  Clothing ....... He generally prefers to wear light colors and slightly looser clothes, since he finds them comfortable. Can usually be found in sneakers and long-sleeve shirts or hoodies (or T-shirts in warmer weather).
• Sorcerers mingle amongst humans without too much issue. The only feature setting them apart from humans is their eyes; their irises are always varying hues of pink. (This isn't a problem though, since humans know about magical beings and don't take much issue with them.) Of course as their name implies, they have magical abilities. Each sorcerer is born with propensity towards a specific type of magic that most of them spend their lives developing. A lot of them dabble in potion making to some extent.
• Magic
  
  Healing: This ability drains Eli's energy at a pretty quick pace. The bigger the wound, the more exhausting it is for him to deal with. It might be possible for him to heal a devastating injury within seconds, but this would likely sap him of energy so quickly he'd die. He mainly sticks to helping stop bleeding, and if he's feeling more energetic, he can speed up the healing process a bit. This ability is nigh-useless if he's exhausted, and he can't regrow something that isn't there, such as a lost limb.
  Shield: He has the ability to create small force fields. He can form them around himself, other people, or even items, as long as it's within his sight and stays within his sight. The shield will fall when it's out of his sight. He can't create any shields too large (but he can control their size to an extent) and he can't make more than one at once.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: His small size can make dodging, running, and fitting through small spaces easier
  Other strengths: Gentle, empathetic, patient​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Small, a bit weak, poor endurance
  Other weaknesses: Naive, indecisive, not easily motivated​
• Personality
  
  He's sweet, polite, and generally leaves a good first impression on people, but his naivete can pose a problem for him sometimes. There's a lot he doesn't understand. It can be difficult to motivate him to do anything he doesn't want to (or to not do something he does want to), so in that case, he can occasionally be stubborn and even lazy - but it would only take a bit of smooth talking to make him fall for almost anything. As long as he's pushed to, he might be willing to do a lot to help someone he'd consider a good friend.​
  Backstory
  
  Eli's parents were very protective of him. He grew up seeing pretty much only what they wanted him to see. Although he tried not to let this bother him, eventually he got tired of it, and asked to move out the moment he turned eighteen. His parents moved him into a fairly nice loft apartment and continue to pay most of the rent for it. He's taken on a couple jobs in an attempt to become fully independent and pay for his own housing, but he's got a bit of a ways to go.​

Luca Thorne
23; male

Spoiler: appearance

will insert a picture later

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... (I'm bad at naming anything, send help)
  Build ............... Stands at 5'11 and is thin and lithely-built
  Skin tone ..... Medium-dark
  Eye color ..... Golden-red
  Hair color .... Pale silvery orange-ish
  Clothing ....... (I'll probably come up with this when I draw him oops)
• His race looks like horned humans; they say the longer their horns, the more powerful the individual is. The color of their horns can generally indicate what kind of magical abilities they possess. A lot of them have shadow magic of some kind; some of them have flame magic, and even rarer is necromancy, though this is considered forbidden magic.
• Magic
  
  Shadows: He can manipulate shadows, creating illusions or even forming them into physical objects. However, this only works depending on how many shadows he's surrounded by; his powers are weaker in brightly-lit areas, and stronger in the dark. He's spent his life practicing this ability, but it still requires a lot of focus, and it's difficult for him to concentrate hard enough to make large objects or illusions that are too vivid and detailed. Generally his creations don't last very long, and they can be destroyed by bright lights.
  Flame: He can spark a flame to life within his palm and manipulate it. He can even cover his entire body in flame, though that's exhausting to him, and he prefers not to - even if it won't actually harm him. (He's fairly heat-resistant as a whole, not bothered by high temperatures, but easily bothered by cold.) The fire feeds directly into his energy; the larger the blaze and the longer it lasts, the more it saps his stamina.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Quick, light on his feet, somewhat strong, good with magic
  Other strengths: Decisive, quick thinker, honest​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not built for endurance, won't win a battle of brute strength, not as skilled without his magic
  Other weaknesses: Cocky, not a good listener, quick to make dumb choices, overly blunt​
• Personality
  
  To those who don't know him very well, he frequently comes across as rude, arrogant, and selfish. If one gets to know him, however, they'll find he can be genuine and even sometimes nice - he's just really awkward about it and doesn't know how to express himself. Therefore, he can seem a bit closed off at times. He isn't a good listener and tends to be rash. His blunt honestly is both a blessing and a curse; though it might be comforting to some to know that he's very honest, his straightforwardness can be frustrating and rude at times.​
  Backstory
  
  His family was extremely rich. Although to the outside observer, it seems that he grew up getting everything he wanted, his parents were unfortunately not very loving. They were controlling, expecting him to keep his mind sharp and engaged in learning at all times, and they were strict about having him perfect his magical abilities. They died when he was sixteen, leaving behind a mansion and an ample inheritance for their son.​

I really like Eli Brown. He is a consistent, well-written character and definitely falls into that sweet spot of "there's no need to overcomplicate". I would've liked to see more content story and personality-wise, but that is just a personal approach that is probably more detailed than yours.

Thorne on the other hand... I'll refrain from but a passing mention at how utterly generic everything about the character is, and instead I'll try to talk more about just how much of the text there is dedicated to other people. Other people have a good impression of him, an outsider's perspective, "seem" a bit closed off at times, etc... While you aren't entirely doing it wrong as unlike some people you did at least mix it in with actual character traits it dampers a lot regarding the character being an individual in their own right, and if you remove that padding the character ends up really one-dimensional and overly leaning on other player's support to work.
Regarding their powers, I'll just never understand how that kind of shadow powers is something anyone finds acceptable, the limitations are too vague for narrative stakes and the ability is too easily abused if the character is not an idiot.

The following are best for: urban fantasy RPs; in which humans don't know about magic or magical beings

Xavier Benson
20; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Elemental
  Build ............... Standing at 5'11, Xavier is slender and nimble.
  Skin tone ..... Slightly tan
  Eye color ..... Blue
  Hair color .... Blonde
  Clothing ....... He likes to wear T-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and sneakers most the time - though sometimes he can be found without the hoodie. He never reveals his inhuman features unless he knows he's alone, so he always keeps his hood up; when he isn't wearing a hoodie (which isn't often), he'll wear a beanie to hide his horns and ears instead. He always has a silver crescent moon necklace.
• Some legends describe elemental "demons", powerful creatures with control over the weather, the elements, and the very earth itself. This is what Xavier's supposed to be, though he isn't as powerful as the legends describe. Since humans don't know about the existence of magical beings, they're always in hiding, and it can therefore be difficult to find other members of his race or any accurate information about them that isn't exaggerated by myths. As such, not much is known about the true nature of elementals.
• Magic
  
  Ice: He has slight control over ice. Since he's spent his life being too afraid to use it much, this ability is very unpracticed, and he doesn't know the extents of what he can do with it. He can summon small ice crystals, make his environments a little bit colder, and slowly freeze things with a touch - though this is difficult for him to do. It's easier to freeze smaller, inanimate things. Trying to freeze anything living requires a lot of concentration and energy, and plus it just isn't something he likes to do, so he often doesn't bother.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Light on his feet, fast runner, good at climbing, very nimble
  Other strengths: Kind, laid-back, not easily angered​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not very strong, never been able to hold his own in a fight, always chooses to escape instead
  Other weaknesses: Skeptical, slow to trust, headstrong, doesn't like to accept help, a little antisocial​
• Personality
  
  Xavier, to anyone meeting him for the first time, seems laid-back and generally nice, even in spite of his occasionally sarcastic humor. One will notice, however, that if they try to get close to him, he's very distant and evasive. He constantly dodges personal questions and never likes to share much about himself. He's distrustful of people, and seems entirely uninterested in relationships of any kind.​
  Backstory
  
  For his entire life, he's kept to himself and tried to hide the fact that he isn't human. He's done a pretty good job of it. He and his parents (which were also elementals) took good care of each other - up until Xavier was eighteen, when they both died from an illness, leaving him their house on the outskirts of a suburb. He stays there and has since been merely trying to survive by taking up various part time jobs.​

Mia Elwyn
19; female

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Human
  Build ............... She stands at 5'4, with a thin frame and not very curvy.
  Skin tone ..... Light
  Eye color ..... Brown
  Hair color .... Dark, she usually dyes it so it fades to pink
  Clothing ....... She tends to favor pastel colors and likes skirts and tights, but occasionally will wear pants. She likes looser-fitting tops and necklaces.
• Talents
  
  Good with English and grammar, can sew at least a little bit, and is a decent cook​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Has fairly good fine motor skills she uses for sewing and embroidery
  Other strengths: Hard-working, intelligent, focused​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Not fit at all, isn't too interested in exercise or her physical wellbeing
  Other weaknesses: Obsessive, stubborn, selfish, easily irritated​
• Personality
  
  She's headstrong, determined, and gets what she wants by her own hard work. She wants to make a good life for herself. However, she can be a little bit too work-oriented, making her obsessed with learning and working, so she has little time for others. She can be very selfish, sometimes without even realizing it - simply because she cares more about furthering herself than caring for others and tends to neglect everyone around her, including her friends. She can be hotheaded at times and gets easily frustrated when someone doesn’t see her point or understand what she wants.​
  Backstory
  
  Her family wasn't the most well-off. Though they weren't rich, they weren't necessarily poor, either; there was just a lot they couldn't afford. Mia grew up with her parents teaching her to only buy what she needed and to be grateful for what she had. Although she's glad for the lessons she learned from them, she decided that the moment she gained independence, she would work hard to be able to enjoy some of the things she never could as a child. Currently she works part-time as a receptionist and does freelance editing on the side.​

Xavier: minus points for being a demon and not pure evil.
I'm sorry for that but I have to say it. It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine how often the basic concept of a demon is just thrown out the window. Feel free to ignore this tidbit.

Getting into other matters, apart from a slightly convenient time for his parents to both just up and die, he is a pretty solid character again. I like how diverse your characters are in personality and background, even if they are all pretty one-note. Only complaints I have beyond this are "skeptical" and "a little antisocial" aren't really weaknesses. One of them is just a general stance towards receiving new information, it's not a flaw and much less a handicap. "little" antisocial is just way too mild a thing to be registered as a "weakness" it's basically meaningless for a character.

Regarding Mia is, I think, your best one so far. She is a very committed character (on your part) with clear direction and flaws, an intelligently constructed backstory, everything one could ask for. Heck, so far she is your only character I can see to having real depth to her. Small nitpick would be that you kind of abuse "little" there in "little bit obsessed with work". Going by the description, it's not exactly a small amount.

The following are best for: medieval fantasy RPs

Freniar Crow
(pronounced 'fray-near')
22; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Nickname ... Frey
  Race ............... Naimar
  Build ............... Standing tall at 6'2, he's wiry and slender.
  Skin tone ..... Very pale
  Eye color ..... He has heterochromia; his right eye is light greenish and his left is purple
  Hair color .... Dark
  Clothing ....... He tends to wear tunics with laced-up fronts and sleeves, and simplistic brown or black trousers that he often tucks into shin-high leather boots. He can often be found with a thin silver chain round his neck and in his pointed ears.
• The Naimar are a horned race that generally lives in Northern areas. A lot of them are skilled jewelers, and make jewelry that they trade with other races and kingdoms. Their build frequently belies their supernatural strength. They can lift and carry ridiculously heavy things without breaking a sweat. Sometimes they might possess a slight propensity towards magic, and some of them will study sorcery, but this isn't necessarily common. It is said that if their horns are cut off, they will lose all their magical abilities and their strength.
• Magic
  
  Strength: Like any other Naimar, he's very strong, even though he doesn't look it in the slightest. It would be unwise to misjudge his strength based solely on his slender appearance. He could easily lift and carry a very large boulder without breaking a sweat, or anything else equally heavy. However, just like any other being, he has his limits, and can get tired easily. Carrying around something heavy for a long time would be exhausting to anyone, after all.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Brute strength and power
  Other strengths: Outgoing, carefree, confident​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Relies too much on physical strength; lacks actual skill
  Other weaknesses: Disloyal, uncaring, fickle​
• Personality
  
  He seems charismatic at first. Despite the fact that he can be a bit of a tease and somewhat sarcastic, he still comes across as friendly and easygoing. However, his personality is a bit 'mercenary' - he has no love for the law, and he lacks conviction and doesn't like being tied down to one specific thing or area for too long. Although he doesn't like to do anything too terribly illegal that would get him caught and thrown in a dungeon, he isn't afraid to bend the rules a bit and do things he thinks he can get away with. He isn't loyal and will easily abandon anyone or anything he grows tired of.​
  Backstory
  
  Frey was born in a northern kingdom, in a very average Naimar-populated village. His friends and family were happy to spend their lives farming and creating beautiful jewelry to sell to travelers and traders. But the older Frey grew, the more curious he became about the outside world, until he got to the point that he couldn't bear to live in his uneventful village any longer. One day he packed up some of his belongings and left home without a word. He's been traveling ever since, and hasn't ever looked back.​

Adri Ward
19; male

Spoiler: appearance

• basics
• race
• abilities
• personal info

• Race ............... Fila
  Build ............... Stands at 5'8 and is a little more muscular than he might look through his clothes
  Skin tone ..... Dark
  Eye color ..... Orange
  Hair color .... Blonde with brown tips
  Clothing ....... He likes to wear loose, airy tunics and trousers with short deerskin boots. He always has a bandage over his left eye.
• Fila are a race of magical beings with influence over the earth. They are nomadic, traveling in large groups and following the paths of various species of butterflies, believing them to be their guardian spirits. Generally they keep to themselves and don't like outsiders, but some of them venture away from their groups and into society.
• Magic
  
  Earth: As the other members of his race can, Adri can manipulate the earth around him. He can convince stones to move, the dirt beneath him to shift, and encourage plants to grow. Of course, as anything does, using his magic takes energy, and performing any large feat is exhausting. He prefers to only use his magic when necessary.​
  Strengths
  
  Physical strengths: Light on his feet, skilled with a sword
  Other strengths: Driven, strong-willed​
  Weaknesses
  
  Physical weaknesses: Tires easily, can't hold his own without a sword
  Other weaknesses: Distant, shy, easily anxious​
• Personality
  
  Adri comes across as a bit solemn at first. He's quiet and seems to always have a distant, even vaguely sad look on his face. However, if someone gets to know him, they'll find he's nice, if a bit timid and awkward. His timidness can be an issue since it sometimes makes him seem distant and unapproachable. But he doesn't mind talking to people at all - it's just that he doesn't really know how to carry on a conversation. If he gets comfortable around someone, though, he'll feel better about confiding in them, and he might even attempt to crack a joke occasionally.​
  Backstory
  
  Although he loves his people and didn't particularly mind their nomadic lifestyle, Adri decided he wanted to take a different path in life. He left his tribe at the age of fifteen to study swordplay more in-depth in the city. He's always dreamed of working inside the castle one day as a royal guard, but knows this probably won't ever happen; royal guards are usually always nobility, after all.
  He tends to get quiet and evasive if anyone asks him why his eye is always bandaged.​

Freniar goes to back to being one-note, though he isn't a bad character per say. He is quite typical mercenary, but so long as it's handled with skill I am not too mindful of leaning on tropes. I really like the "lacks actual skill" weakness, I think it adds a really fun and unique element to the character that could be a great source of humor. That said, that backstory really doesn't fit the character. It doesn't explain anything about how they became who they are or their current goals, it seems build for an entirely different character.


PS: I also just have to mention, i find it funny this "things in the north always have horns" trope, I have no idea why it exists, but it's a nice lil'easter egg

Andri is probably tied with Thorne for the worst character here. His personality leaks over to the backstory to the point where pretty much what little personality he has is divided between the two sections and as a result there is little backstory and his personality section is a load of nothing. Given some of the race lore and ornament choices for the character, I reckon this has something to do with trying to make this character feel like something especial as compared to others or something- which is backfiring hard.


On the note of the art I will end by saying you made some pretty great artwork, I think. Well done

 

[PhoenixMire]

Yeah, I personally can't stand making my forms overly complex/detailed, because then it feels like referring back to a textbook and doing homework every time I make an RP post, just to make sure everything about my character is in order. It's not enjoyable and I like my RPs to be fun.

Thanks for the crit though! I'll make sure to edit some stuff about Luca's form to make sure it relies less on other people. You complained about him being utterly generic. What would you do to make a character less generic?

And Xavier isn't a demon. I actually agree with your stance on demons, which is why I never make my characters flat-out demons. It's more that people/myths call his race "demons" even though they technically aren't. (Come to think of it, I have no idea why I didn't just put that in his race info?? Brain fart I guess)

As for Adri, I wasn't trying to go for anything "special"; tbh he was the one I was the least inspired for, sadly. I kinda don't know what to do with him. I want to use him for something but who knows what. Not even sure how to flesh him out and make him better honestly.

Thanks for the advice

 

[Idea]

Yeah, I personally can't stand making my forms overly complex/detailed, because then it feels like referring back to a textbook and doing homework every time I make an RP post, just to make sure everything about my character is in order. It's not enjoyable and I like my RPs to be fun.

To each their own of course It's a little harder to review characters for people whose tastes regarding RP type differ so much from mine, but I try to keep it in mind

You complained about him being utterly generic. What would you do to make a character less generic?

Well, the things that are generic about him are his overall "shy person with a heart of gold" persona (which due to how much of it you dedicate to other people really becomes his one thing), his abilities, namely the shadow and fire ones and the backstory (rich kids with parents that don't really give them enough love). These are all endless overused and you're not really bringing a new take on them, as far as the CS shows.

Other than scrapping those elements, all I can really recommend is that you flesh them out more to give them more of a personal take on those ideas and one that feel more unique to the character. I know I'm staying vague but I can't write your character for you.

And Xavier isn't a demon. I actually agree with your stance on demons, which is why I never make my characters flat-out demons. It's more that people/myths call his race "demons" even though they technically aren't. (Come to think of it, I have no idea why I didn't just put that in his race info?? Brain fart I guess)

You later refer to his parents as just "elementals" couldn't you maybe have just done that for the race? Since this is, I assume, your own world these OCs belong to, you probably have that kind of freedom if you want.

As for Adri, I wasn't trying to go for anything "special"; tbh he was the one I was the least inspired for, sadly. I kinda don't know what to do with him. I want to use him for something but who knows what. Not even sure how to flesh him out and make him better honestly.

I'd start by organizing if I was you. As I mentioned, there is stuff there in the backstory that belongs in personality. Personal views and behaviors are part of one's personality, not one's backstory though naturally both affect the other.

Thanks for the advice

You're welcome

 

[PhoenixMire]

Thank you for the tips! I'll be sure to apply them.
As for Xavier, I do want to establish that the myths refer to them as demons even though they're not, so I've just edited it and hopefully it makes more sense now.

Well, the things that are generic about him are his overall "shy person with a heart of gold" persona (which due to how much of it you dedicate to other people really becomes his one thing), his abilities, namely the shadow and fire ones and the backstory (rich kids with parents that don't really give them enough love). These are all endless overused and you're not really bringing a new take on them, as far as the CS shows.

Ah, I didn't describe him well enough then, so that's 100% fault on my part. I didn't want him to come across as shy at all; he... isn't, really. Just doesn't like people. But 'shy' isn't the right word for him, so I'll work on that. I could also try to think of a better and less generic backstory I just suck at backstories and absolutely loathe coming up with them but maybe that might make him fit into more RPs a bit better