Fantasy Aedighar [closed]

[scoorpiuuss]

When it came to the child, Leanah imagined they would be like the both of them, though she wondered perhaps too often if they would look more like her or Arthor. The latter wasn’t ideal since she didn’t want people to get suspicious, but both Arthor and her had dark hair and eyes, so she imagined that it wouldn’t be such a problem. Leanah would have loved to discuss all those things with Arthor, but one thing she didn’t like was how he was talking about himself in such a bad way. It wasn’t good for him.

“Stop,” Leanah sighed.

"I'm just saying,” Arthor shrugged.

“Don’t be so negative.”

"I'm not."

Leanah didn’t want to argue so she sighed before laying her head down against his shoulder. The child wouldn’t be loathed if they would be like Arthor. She would love her child regardless of what would happen, and she was certain that Adian and Arthor would as well. Arthor stroked her hair as he mumbled her name, but she didn’t reply. Arguing wasn’t what she needed now, and she didn’t want to hear about how he didn’t want the child to be like him.

"Everything alright?” Arthor mumbled.

“Yes.”

"Good,” he said before pressing a kiss against her head.

At that, Leanah pulled away slightly to look at him as she cupped his cheek. As if it prove that everything was okay, she smiled at him while stroking her thumb over his skin. He smiled back at her, and she stroked her hand into his hair. Now Arthor cupped her cheek, and she chuckled quietly as he stroked it. She became a little embarrassed at her own thoughts as her hand cupped his jaw and her thumb stroked over his chin, close to his bottom lip. He chuckled, causing her to pull away her hand as she laid down against his shoulder again.

Arthor moved his hand to the side of her body, and Leanah kept her arm wrapped around his waist, pressing as close to him as she could. His hand stroked against her, and she knew she could have easily fallen asleep had it been the evening. Leanah wasn’t tired, though. She stroked her fingers along his back, enjoying the silence that had settled between them, until Arthor broke it.

"What are you thinking about?"

“You.”

"What about me?" Arthor chuckled.

“Nothing specific,” Leanah shrugged.

"That's not interesting."

“Well, I’m sorry,” she chuckled.

"Can't forgive you that."

Leanah pulled away from Arthor so she could lean onto her elbow for support as she looked at him, “please, forgive me.”

"I'll think about it."

When they had been lovers, Leanah would kiss him and touch him until he would forgive her. It was always something silly they did. That wasn’t what she wanted to do now. It was inappropriate, and she didn’t want Arthor like that. She chuckled, pulling completely away from as she laid down against her back, looking up at the ceiling as if she was waiting for his forgiveness. Though when Arthor moved his hand to her belly, she shifted her gaze towards his hand. She loved the sensation of his touch now. It felt nice and reassuring in a way.

Arthor chuckled as he stroked his hand over her belly. Leanah closed her eyes, smiling at the sensation Again silence settled between them, but she still didn’t mind it. They could have laid here for hours, but she imagined that Adian would be back eventually. For now, Leanah wanted to enjoy it as she kept her eyes closed. Suddenly she felt herself slowly drifting away, even if she didn’t feel tired.

A part of her hoped that Arthor would stay with her until Adian would come so she wouldn’t be alone. Though she felt as if she was half asleep, she liked his company. After a while, the warmth of his hand against her disappeared as the weight of his body beside her did as well. She didn’t want to protest if he wanted to leave. It wasn’t as if she could force him to stay with her when they were doing nothing together. Perhaps he had found it to be boring while she had found it to be quite enjoyable.

Once she heard his footsteps, Leanah opened her eyes to look over at him with a gentle smile resting on her lips. Arthor met her gaze before he spoke, "I thought you fell asleep."

“No.”

"I can leave if you want to rest,” Arthor shrugged.

“It’s up to you if you want to leave or not.”

"If you fall asleep, I might get a little bored,” he chuckled.

“Is there anything you want to do?” Leanah asked as she sat up on the bed.

Arthor shrugged and sat back down onto the bed. If there was nothing for them to do then Leanah didn’t mind if he wanted to leave. She understood that it could get boring, but it was up to him if he wanted to stay or not. She wouldn’t force him into anything, especially not if he would feel bored.

“If you want to leave that’s okay.”

"If you're not going to sleep then I want to stay."

“I’m not going to sleep.”

 

[desti]

The only reason Arthor considered to leave was because it seemed to him that Leanah had fallen asleep. He figured she needed rest because of the child, so he didn’t want to bother her. It didn’t seem appropriate for him to stay in a situation like that either. So the natural response to that seemed to be to leave her alone and let her rest. When it turned out that Leanah was very much awake, though, Arthor didn’t hesitate to sit right back down.

“Then I’ll stay,” Arthor chuckled.

“Good.”

It seemed like that made Leanah happy and Arthor smiled back at her. He didn’t know what they could talk about, but maybe Leanah would think of it. Arthor’s mind was drawing blank right now. He just wanted to spend time with Leanah, what they did or spoke about didn’t matter that much to him. Or he’d try to not let it bother him, at least, since he knew some of the topics did indeed make him a bit uncomfortable.

"What do you want to do?"

“Anything. I don’t mind. We can keep talking about something,” Arthor shrugged and laid back on the bed.

"Will you ever settle down with someone?"

Though at one point in his life, Arthor had prayed for a wife and a family, he doubted that would happen now. It felt like it was too late for that and he doubted that any woman would want someone like him as a husband and as the father of her children. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to commit to someone like that. Arthor did think he’d be with Elias for as long as Elias would endure him, but that was different from what he assumed Leanah meant.

“Probably not.”

"Is it because of Elias or because you don't want to?"

“The latter. Though, I suppose, Elias is also reason. I don’t know.”

"As long as you're happy."

“I would love to have a family, but I guess that’s not going to happen, which is fine.”

"Maybe you will have a family one day."

At that, Arthor just nodded and chuckled a little, “sure.”

The wish for a real family of his own had always been something Arthor had wanted, but now he was slowly accepting that it would never be something he’d have. Maybe it wasn’t that important, anyways. Arthor did have a family of sorts in the Hastwycks and maybe that was enough. He had Elias too. Arthor tried not to complain about his situation because of all that. At least Leanah chuckled too at his words and it made him smile a bit.

When Leanah touched his hand, it was comforting and brought him out of his thoughts about family. He squeezed her hand and looked at her, his smile a bit more genuine now. Leanah stroked his hand and Arthor’s gaze drifted down to watch her fingers. Maybe someone would see the situation between him and Leanah as some sort of fucked up family because of the child between them.

"Are you okay?"

Arthor nodded at that and smiled at her, squeezing her hand again. Her fingers kept stroking against Arthor’s hand. What if Elias would find someone else and leave him? That seemed plausible, and then Arthor supposed he would be alone. He could always buy whores, though. Arthor figured that would become boring after a while and then he’d just be old, alone and miserable. Maybe he deserved an ending like that, though.

Meanwhile Leanah let go of his hand and instead stroked up his arm. Arthor tried to focus on that, not about how lonely his future might be. In his mind, it sounded so grim and he didn’t want to think about it, because it would surely ruin his mood. It was so hard to switch his thoughts though and Arthor almost desperately looked at Leanah and smiled at her, hoping she’d say something.

"You can stay here until Adian comes back if you want."

“That sounds good,” Arthor nodded.

“Good.”

“This doesn’t bother him, right?”

Instead of thinking about himself, Arthor tried to think Adian instead. It had been a while and Arthor hadn’t really heard any complaints about Leanah and him spending time with one another. That must’ve meant that Adian didn’t protest against it. Maybe Arthor should ask him that, but so far their conversations had been brief and rare.

"I don't know."

“Oh.”

"I don't know what he thinks about you or us being like this."

“Right. He allows you to see me, though. That’s good,” Arthor shrugged.

"Don't worry about it."

“I’ll try not to.”

Arthor chuckled and looked up at the ceiling. Now he thought about Leanah and Adian and that was a welcome change of thought. Arthor was genuinely happy for them and he didn’t want to stand between them in any way. Leanah seemed happy with Adian and that made Arthor happy. She deserved happiness and she deserved a good husband like that.

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Loss
Chapter CXXIX
House Rhyne
May all be as one
Nilfgaard, Northern lands of Aedighar
​

Never had Aryana expected her life to change so drastically. One morning it has felt as if someone was carving her stomach out with a butchers knife. She had cried out in pain as she could barely move her body. Her muscles were so tense, cramping up at any slight movement she made, and she had so desperately clutched onto Brynden as she thought that she wouldn’t live to see another day. That outcome would have been a relief compared to the pain that resided within her now. Aryana wished the Gods had shown her mercy.

The sight of what had happened had been etched into her mind.

Her cries and screams had rung through the whole castle. Constant sobs as she refused to believe that this had happened to her. What had she done to deserve this? The pain lingered. Even when she sat in a warm bath as two women scrubbed her body clean, she ached and longed for the same fate as her child. There were no words to describe what she felt. Not once did she open her mouth to speak. There was nothing to be said.

The Gods were cruel. Aryana loathed them. They had taken her child away from her. All the hope she’d had for a better life had died with the child. Now everything seemed miserable. Everything was miserable. She wanted to open the windows in their bedchamber and fall to the ground beneath it. Perhaps it wouldn’t kill her, but she thought the pain of the fall would be easier to endure than the pain of her lost child.

That evening Aryana had pulled a chair over to the windows. She sat there with her fingers stroking over her abdomen. The thought of what could have been never left her. She was supposed to give Brynden a child, a healthy and strong son, or a kind and sweet daughter. It had been ripped away from her, and she wanted to cry for hours, but it seemed as if she had no tears left to cry. Her cheeks were dry as she looked longingly out of the window.

When she looked at her hands, she could still see the blood on them even if it had all been washed away. Aryana hadn’t understood what was happening at first. It had never occurred to her that she could lose her child. They had been so happy and excited, and now she felt empty. Her chest ached, and she couldn’t remember what it felt like to breathe. Every breath she took trembled, and it hurt.

There was a distant sound of the door opening and closing, but Aryana couldn’t tear her eyes away from her fingers against her abdomen. Her skin was pale, and her throat was sore and dry. If only there had been a way to prevent it. She wished she could have gone back then. Now there were footsteps, and she heard Brynden say her name, but she didn’t respond. How could she look at him now? Could she ever look at him? Aryana knew she must have disappointed him. She had lost their child, their happiness and their hope. She had lost everything.

Once the warmth of his touch has comforted her, but now Aryana felt nothing as Brynden wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He said her name again, and she tried to speak, but all that came out of her was shaky breaths as she pulled her hands away from her abdomen. The throbbing pain in her chest wouldn’t disappear, and Aryana ended up pulling away from his touch, turning her body so she wouldn’t face him.

Aryana couldn’t look at him.

Her body was weak as Brynden attempted to touch her shoulder, and Aryana responded with standing up from the chair. She clutched onto the frame of the window while her knees threatened to collapse. If she had been strong enough, she would have climbed up and fallen out over the edge, but she could barely hold her body up. Her shoulders were so heavy, and her head pounded. Had she eaten anything? Aryana gathered all her strength then to open the window as cold air rushed into the room, sending shivers down her spine.

“Aryana,” Brynden said, and he touched her arm.

“I wish I would have died instead,” Aryana mumbled.

"Don't say that."

“It’s true.”

“Aryana,” he said while his hand stroked over her arm.

All she wanted was to die. She prayed that she wouldn’t wake up in the morning, but she already knew that the Gods were cruel. They wouldn’t show her any kindness and answer her prayers. Aryana knew that everything would have been better then. Brynden could marry someone else who would be able to give him a child as she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to carry a child for him. The thought of this happening again haunted her.

Brynden kept stroking her arm, but Aryana didn’t want it. Perhaps she needed it, but she wouldn’t allow anyone or anything to comfort her now. She pulled away from him again. This time he didn’t try to touch her again, and Aryana was glad. She hoped he would let her suffer through this alone until she would wither away. That sounded pleasant as she assumed that she would never be able to move on from this.

She opened the window up wider, leaning forward so she could see the ground below. If they had been higher up, she thought she would have easily died at the impact of her body meeting the ground. Death was all she could think about, all she could want. Deep down she wanted Brynden to hold her, pull her over to the bed and tell her that everything would be fine, but no. Aryana would never let him do that. There was no way she could.

 

[desti]

Of course the happiness couldn’t last. Brynden had been stupid to think that things would go well for him. After everything that he had done, he didn’t deserve happiness. It was a shame that Aryana had to suffer too, though. Brynden didn’t want that. Not only did she suffer in her mind, but her body too. The one thing that brought Brynden some comfort is that the Maester said Aryana would be alright.

Every inch of his body ached while Brynden tried to accept what had happened. He was told that it could happen to anyone and that it wasn’t anybody’s fault. For whatever reason, though, Brynden felt guilty. He felt responsible about the pain Aryana was going through now and the loss of their child. Brynden hadn’t thought that it would hurt so much to lose someone they’d never even seen yet.

There was no time for Brynden to really grieve, though. Now all he could think about was if Aryana would be alright and what would happen now. Would this tear them apart again? The child had been what had brought them together in the first place, what had created this bond between them. Would that end? Brynden didn’t want that, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to fix this.

Fuck, Brynden would have to tell this to everyone. It seemed like word had already spread by the looks that some people gave Brynden. He fucking hated that. Now, Brynden was just quiet and after some time he would break the silence. Letters would have to be sent to his siblings, to Aryana’s father as well. Brynden dreaded the thought of writing the horrible words on a piece of parchment.

What Brynden did want was to be with Aryana. He thought that she wouldn’t want to be alone through this, so once he was done speaking to the Maester, he headed straight back to their room. Brynden figured that he would neglect his responsibilities for a while so that he would be able to take care of Aryana. He’d ignore both his duties and his own pain so that he could be with her and ease her mind, perhaps.

When Brynden did get to their room, Aryana was about as distant as he’d imagined. When she spoke of death, it made Brynden feel uncomfortable and throughout their conversation, he felt lost as to what to say to her. Aryana was right next to him, but at the same time she felt so far away. Brynden didn’t know what to do or say, but he wouldn’t give up now and he would be there for her.

After Aryana’s words of dying, Brynden immediately tensed up when she leant out the open window. He couldn’t help but grab her by the arm and yank her back inside as he shut the window. Though Brynden didn’t think Aryana would do such a thing, she was fragile at the moment. He was afraid that she’d do something stupid because of the loss she’d suffered.

Because her eyes avoided him and stayed at the window, Brynden moved his hand to cup her chin gently so that he would make her look at him. Maybe that was a bad idea, because Brynden could barely look her in the eyes. She looked so lost and sad, shaking her head a little. Brynden let go of her then and looked away, unable to endure this for much longer. It broke his heart to see her like this.

While Aryana walked away, Brynden stayed where he was. He watched her back as she walked towards the bed, but she stopped abruptly before actually sitting or laying down on it. Brynden knew that there was nothing on it anymore, but even he felt a little apprehensive about sleeping there. It just felt wrong. He remembered so vividly how they’d woken up that morning, and the thought of sleeping there just made him feel strange. Aryana must’ve felt the same way.

Though her back was towards him, it was obvious that she was crying. Brynden sighed and quickly walked over to her, daring to pull her into a hug in an effort to comfort her. Maybe staying here wasn’t a great idea and they should switch rooms either temporarily or permanently. Brynden was glad when Aryana let him hug her, because he needed this too. He stroked his hand over her hair as he held her close against his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Aryana.”

"I was supposed to give you a child to love. We were supposed to be a family."

“This isn’t your fault, Aryana. There was nothing we could do.”

Because Aryana grew silent, Brynden only mumbled quiet, soothing words to her in an effort to calm her down a little. Honestly, he doubted that he would help. Time might be able to help her heal, but right now it was too soon. At least Brynden thought so. But he wanted to be with her now and give her some comfort, even if it wouldn’t really aid her too much.

Aryana’s arms wrapped around his neck then and she lifted one of her legs up, so Brynden bent down a little so that he could pick her up. He would’ve sat down on the bed, but it just didn’t feel right so instead he walked over to the table and sat down on a chair that stood by it. Aryana pulled away a little and Brynden raised his head so that they could look at each other. It hurt to see her so very hurt, but Brynden didn’t tear his eyes away from her this time.

 

[scoorpiuuss]

The attempts Brynden made to comfort her would never make the pain go away. Aryana had wanted to have a family with him. It had been easy to imagine herself giving him many children to love and care for, but now she was doubtful. What if it would happen again? What if she would never be able to carry children? There were too many outcomes to the situation, and Aryana could only focus on the negative ones. Never had she felt more lost and miserable. Gods, how she wanted to rid the world of herself. She couldn’t handle the pain.

When their gazes met, Aryana wanted to apologise to Brynden. She felt terribly guilty for losing their child. Though he had said there was nothing they could do and that it wasn’t her fault, she didn’t believe him. There had to be something they could have done to prevent this from happening. A part of her wanted to pretend it had never happened and force herself to believe that there was still a child in her belly, growing strong and healthy.

“I’m sorry for losing our child,” Aryana sobbed, raising her hand to wipe her tears away.

"It's not your fault, Aryana,” Brynden said as he cupped her cheek.

“It is.”

"It isn't,” he said while stroking her cheek.

Aryana couldn’t believe him. It must have been her fault. Perhaps she hadn’t been careful enough. She should have rested more, made sure to eat and drink more to give the child strength, but she hadn’t. On their journey, she shouldn’t have been riding a horse. There were so many things she had done wrong, and now she wanted to go back and do it right so they child would still be alive. Then they would be happy. Aryana shook her head because it wasn’t true. It was her fault. Everything was her fault, and Brynden had to realise that.

"It's not your fault.”

Since Brynden still stroked her cheek, Aryana tilted her head against his hand as she closed her eyes, “you were so excited, and then I took that away from you. I’m so sorry.”

"Please, it's not your fault. I'm not angry or disappointed in you."

“You should be. I lost our child. Gods, you have already lost so much, and then I do this to you,” Aryana mumbled as she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Aryana, stop,” Brynden said as he cupped her face.

There was no way for her to stop. Aryana couldn’t stop blaming herself for everything that had happened. Though it only made the pain in her chest worse as she believed that Brynden could never love her now. That was all she had wanted for them. She wanted to love him, and now she believed that it had all been ruined. Wouldn’t it have been better if he had married someone else? Someone who wouldn’t put him through this. Aryana felt like a horrible wife, thinking that Brynden must have regretted marrying her now.

Brynden hugged her again, and Aryana couldn’t help but feel like she should have died. At the same time, she wanted to accept his affection and comfort, make him stay with her for days as she would try to move on. She didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of her life, but the grief clouded her mind, and all she could see was her life slowly being filled with more and more sadness.

“You must regret marrying me now,” Aryana mumbled as she nuzzled her face close to his neck.

"What?" Brynden asked, pulling away from her which cause her to raise her head up to meet his gaze.

“Don’t worry. I understand if you regret it. I’m a horrible wife.”

"You really think that low of me?"

“I think you deserve better than me.”

"Stop talking like this, Aryana. None of this is true."

How could she believe him? Aryana only shrugged as she looked away from him, but Brynden still held her face in his hands, which made it difficult for her to look away. All she could do was stare down at herself.

"I don't regret marrying you. I'm not blaming you for any of this."

Aryana wanted to believe him. Perhaps she would be rid of some of the pain she felt then, but she felt so empty and lost that there seemed to be no point in even trying to believe him. Therefore she didn’t respond. Brynden tilted her head up which got her to look at him. Gods, she wanted them to have their child. The happiness they had shared had been blissful, and she had wanted that for them. They should have been happy forever. Brynden deserved happiness. He deserved to be loved, and Aryana wanted to love him.

"What happened is horrible, but I don't want us to fall apart because of it,” Brynden said while stroking her cheeks.

“It hurts so much. I wanted this child so badly.”

"We both wanted it,” he mumbled.

“I’m so sorry.”

"It's not your fault, Aryana. There's nothing we could've done."

All Aryana could do was close her eyes as she felt tears begin to sting in them again. Her hands went to her abdomen as she thought about the child. She wanted to leave their room, get some fresh air at how heavy the atmosphere seemed now. Everything about their room was wrong, and she knew she would never be able to fall asleep in their bed again as the sight of what had happened would forever haunt her mind.

 

[desti]

It was so difficult to watch Aryana crumble in front of him. Brynden felt like if he wouldn’t say the right things to her then she would slip out of his grasp and he would never be able to get her back. There had to be a way for them to move on from this, no matter how hard that would be. Brynden wanted to be as happy as they had been once, he was almost desperate to get them back to that point.

Would they ever have children, though? Brynden was afraid that neither of them would dare to think about that ever again. He had thought about it throughout the day and he knew that he would be so anxious about it happening again. Maybe there was something wrong with them and having children just wouldn’t work out. Brynden wanted children, but he was so afraid that this would happen again.

Again, Brynden pulled her into a hug when he saw her eyes well up with tears. Aryana wrapped her arms around him and pressed close to him. His hands rubbed her back gently while he tried to calm them both down again. The words Aryana had said before about how she was a horrible wife and how Brynden must regret marrying her hurt a lot more than Brynden had expected. He tried to reason with himself that Aryana was just extremely upset and speaking without thinking. It felt somewhat comforting when Aryana gripped so tightly onto him, though.

“Please don’t blame yourself for this.”

"But I can't stop."

“With time you’ll realise that you’re not to blame.”

Then Aryana grew quiet again and so did Brynden. Fuck, this was so unfair. They’d been so happy and excited. Brynden wanted this so badly and Aryana had as well. Now it was ripped away from them and they were miserable. It was so fucking cruel. Brynden just wanted them to be happy and he was afraid that they’d never be able to be as happy as they used to be because of this.

Eventually, Aryana tried to pull away from him and Brynden didn’t hold her tight enough so he let her do it. Then Aryana got up and walked back to the window, which prompted Brynden to follow her. He didn’t quite trust her, if he was completely honest. Brynden didn’t know what to expect from her after something as horrific as this. He thought he wouldn’t be able to leave her alone for a while now.

“This doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all.”

"Why not?"

“Why would it?”

"I don't know."

“You’re my wife, Aryana,” Brynden mumbled as he moved to stand by her with his hand on her shoulder.

Losing each other would make this situation even worse than it already was. Brynden didn’t think he’d be able to handle it then. Maybe it was selfish, but he needed Aryana so that he could get through this. He was certain that Aryana needed him too, though. They needed each other and Brynden was desperate not to let them drift apart. They couldn’t do that. Everything had been so good and Brynden already missed it.

"What if this happens again?"

Then they would be hurt all over again. Brynden wanted to say that there was a slim chance of it happening again, but he didn’t fucking know that. Maybe it would happen over and over again for all he knew. Perhaps they were just cursed to never have children. What if it was just because it was Aryana’s first, though? Maybe the long journey to the North was to blame and that’s it?

“What if it doesn’t?”

"I'm scared."

“Me too.”

Aryana stayed quiet as she watched him. Brynden felt like he had failed her somehow, failed at protecting her and the child. It was stupid, probably, but he couldn’t help it. Regardless of what he’d been saying all evening, maybe there had been something he could’ve done to prevent this. Maybe he just didn’t take enough care of her. Maybe he’d done something wrong.

Her hands raised to hold his face as she cupped his cheeks. Brynden moved his hands to rest on her wrists gently then while his eyes stayed on hers. He felt so lost and the only thing keeping him sane was that need to help Aryana somehow. Brynden wanted to be with her and help her get through this, he couldn’t think too much about the thoughts in his head or they’d ruin him.

It was so comforting to feel her fingers stroking against his cheeks. Brynden knew he felt so much for Aryana and he didn’t want to lose her now. He couldn’t let that happen, he wouldn’t. It would be hard, but Brynden would just try and fight for them to survive this. Right now it seemed hopeless, but most of Brynden’s current thoughts were rather pessimistic because of all the grief.

“I don’t want to lose you, Aryana.”

 

[scoorpiuuss]

The child had taken something from Aryana. There was a certain emptiness in her that she ached to fill, but that was a mission she wasn’t ready to take on now. All she could do now was let herself drift into sadness and grief, letting it eat her up from within, but she also wanted to care for Brynden though she didn’t have the strength to do so. She tried, but she doubted that stroking his cheek would bring him any comfort. There was nothing she could do to help, and nothing he could do to help her. They were seemingly both lost.

Brynden said he didn’t want to lose her, but Aryana wasn’t sure how she could prevent that when it felt as if she was losing herself. Her own life was slipping through her fingers, and she didn’t have the strength to grasp onto it. The will to live had left her, and how could she fight the sadness then? She sighed, pulling her hands away from him and Brynden looked at her so longingly, but she didn’t know how to fix this.

“I don’t know what to do, Brynden.”

"I don't know either,” Brynden mumbled.

Again Aryana walked away from him, this time to the other side of their room. She raised her hands to her face, and as she closed her eyes, all she could see was the mess they had woken up to that morning. While she stood there, she could hear his footsteps as he followed her, and she wondered if she should have left him. Some time alone sounded dreadful, though, but she wouldn’t be bothering Brynden.

“Perhaps I should leave.”

"Why?"

“Then I won’t bother you,” she mumbled.

"You aren't bothering me, Aryana."

Most of the reason Aryana wanted to leave was because of how horrible it felt to be in their room now. She rushed over to the door then. It felt as if she had to puke. Her body tensed up, and she held one hand against the door while the other rested against her abdomen. Suddenly it seemed as if she had forgotten how to breathe. Again Brynden followed her, but her whole body was aching and cramping up. Gods, she had never felt more horrible as she did now. As if the grief wasn’t enough.

"Is something wrong?"

“I feel sick. It hurts.”

"Then I'll take you to the Maester."

“No,” Aryana said as she shook her head.

"He'll be able to help you,” Brynden said as he touched her back.

The last thing Aryana wanted was to be taken to the Maester. Though she assumed he would have something to ease her pain, she didn’t want to. Brynden could try, but she would refuse. At least the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been when she had woken up. She thought she would be able to handle no matter how much she was suffering right now.

“I don’t want to.”

"If you're in pain, then I'm taking you to the Maester and that's that."

“No.”

"Yes."

“I’m not in pain.”

"You said you feel sick."

Aryana was in pain, and she was feeling sick. She could only assume that it was normal after losing a child. Since she didn’t want to go to the Maester, she turned around to face Brynden, leaning against the door. The pain would disappear eventually. If not then perhaps then she could go to the Maester, but for now, she would refuse. No matter how hard Brynden would try to get her to go, she wouldn’t. Now it seemed like she would have to lie to him though, but if that meant she wouldn’t have to go to the Maester, she would do that.

“I’m okay,” Aryana sighed.

"Really?"

“Yes.”

"Right. Either way, I'm not leaving you alone."

“Okay.”

"Do you want to go somewhere else?"

That was exactly what Aryana needed, so she nodded at his question.

"Where?" Brynden asked as he opened the door.

Aryana shrugged as she was quick to cling onto his arm. Though she had thought about being alone, she knew deep down that she couldn’t be alone. She needed Brynden more than ever now. As long as they would leave the room and not go back there for the rest of the evening, Aryana thought she would be fine. Then perhaps the pain would disappear. She didn’t care about where they would go. It didn’t matter to her as everywhere else would be so much better than their room. Gods, she hated that place now.

"Do you want to go outside?"

“It’s cold,” Aryana mumbled.

"I guess you're right. We can just go to another room then? Or walk through the castle? Whatever you want."

“I just want to be with you.”

"Alright,” Brynden sighed as he nodded.

They began walking, and Aryana was slightly regretting their decision to leave the room. Her body felt weak. She imagined that she should have been resting, but she wasn’t sure how she would ever be able to fall asleep again. While they walked all she could think about was the child. How could it have been taken away from them like that? It was so cruel. Aryana tightened her grip around Brynden’s arm then, leaning onto him as she hoped that he would never leave her.

 

[desti]

Obviously they couldn’t stay here. Brynden didn’t know if it was permanent or not, but for now they definitely needed to be somewhere else. It was already hard enough for him to be here, he couldn’t imagine how bad the memories must hurt Aryana. His first instinct was to go outside, but Aryana was right about it being cold. Maybe that wasn’t a great idea.

There was no actual will in Brynden to walk around the castle either. He didn’t want to run into someone who would start asking questions or look at them strangely. Brynden wanted privacy and they wouldn’t get that in the halls. So he lead them to an empty room instead, walking inside with her while closing the door behind them. Still, Aryana didn’t let go of him, though.

“We can stay here for as long as you want and need.”

“Thank you.”

At that, Brynden nodded and pulled Aryana back into a hug. He felt like she probably needed it. Brynden didn’t think he’d be able to sleep tonight, so instead he’d just stay awake and make sure that Aryana was alright. Or as alright as she possibly could be after this. Aryana hugged him back, holding onto his hair while Brynden rubbed his hands over her back again.

It was obvious that Aryana was crying again and Brynden didn’t know what to do. All he could really try was to stand here with her, swaying them a little while he held her close to him. It brought him some comfort to feel her fingers stroke through his hair. Brynden didn’t want her to care for him, though, since he wanted to focus on her. Aryana was more important.

“Do you want to lay down?”

“Yes.”

With that, Brynden pulled away a little from her, but kept his arm around her. He lead them to the bed and laid down with her, immediately pulling her to lay against his chest. Though Aryana pushed him to lay on his back and Brynden didn’t protest. He let her move to lay a little on top of him, while he kept his arms around her and pressed a kiss against her head.

"I wish this hadn't happened."

“Me too.”

"I feel horrible."

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Time would heal them, or so Brynden hoped. He didn’t know how long it would hurt, but since it was their child, he imagined it would haunt them for a long time. Perhaps they’d never truly get over it. At the same time, Brynden didn’t feel like it would tear them apart. Before, it had seemed that way, but now that they laid with each other it felt like it wasn’t that hopeless after all.

"It was all I ever wanted for us. A child and happiness."

“I know, me too. This doesn’t mean that it’s all over, though.”

"I hope you're right."

“I hope so too.”

Obviously Brynden didn’t want to give up. It would take time for them to heal, but Brynden didn’t want them to be miserable for the rest of their lives. He didn’t know if they’d have children or if they even could have children, but right now Brynden didn’t want to think about that. Aryana stayed quiet then, holding onto him while Brynden kept stroking his fingers through her hair.

When Aryana raised her head up from his shoulder to look at him, Brynden could barely stand to look at her. She was so sad, more upset than he’d ever seen her, and he hated that so much. That need inside of him to protect her and care for her was so strong, but Brynden knew that there wasn’t anything he could do or say to make it all better again.

"I want to take care of you."

“Don’t worry about me,” Brynden mumbled as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek.

"But I do."

Then Brynden stayed quiet, stroking his fingers against her cheek while he watched her. Aryana stroked his chest, tilting her head to the side a little. Though she looked a little worse for wear because of obvious reasons, Brynden thought she still looked so beautiful. Brynden hated seeing her this upset, though. Apart from giving her time to heal and being with her through this, Brynden wasn’t sure what else he could do to help.

There was a small, short kiss pressed against his lips then. Brynden brought the hand on her cheek into her hair instead then, stroking his fingers through it. Aryana laid back down then and sighed. Brynden kept his fingers in her hair, playing with the strands while he looked up at the ceiling. Right now it felt like the pain would never leave them, but Brynden hoped that wasn’t true.

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Distraught
Chapter CXXX
House Rhyne
May all be as one
Nilfgaard, Northern lands of Aedighar​

Life in Wheldrake had been more exciting than what Willelm had ever expected it to be. His evenings would often be spent in the brothels with a pretty woman in his lap, or he would be drinking himself stupid with a couple of men. It had to be a miracle that he hadn’t grown poor from the amount of gold that he threw around daily. Since the war was over, he saw no harm in having fun. His true duties wouldn’t begin until he travelled East to his new home in Stormwind. Until then he decided to enjoy his last few months of freedom.

In the castle, Willelm had no real responsibility. Other than being supportive of Antra, he rarely found himself discussing politics and often minded his own business rather than participating in any of the drama that happened at court. He had promised Antra that he would stay to take care of her, and he had also reassured Brynden that he would look after their sister. That was the only reason he still found himself in Wheldrake.

Willelm had grown quite used to his room in the castle. It was bigger than the room he’d had in Nilfgaard, but he knew he wouldn’t be staying here permanently. Getting too attached would be silly. After last night’s events, Willelm was feeling rather exhausted. Though he had been invited to find somewhere to share some wine or ale, he had declined that offer as staying in his room for the rest of the day sounded a lot more pleasant than getting drunk. He would join them tomorrow, as he didn’t want to risk feeling too bored.

The curtains in front of the balcony door were pulled open to let fresh air into his room. Willelm walked over to the balcony, and there was nothing quite like the view he had from there. He preferred the view he’d had in Nilfgaard, but he thought that Wheldrake wasn’t too bad when it came to its scenery.

There was a knock at his door which made Willelm walk away from the balcony and over to see who it was. It didn’t really surprise him when he saw Antra. What he was surprised to see was the sadness in her eyes. Had something happened? Had someone hurt her? Willelm didn’t trust Rydan yet, and his first thought was that he must have hurt her though he had no reason to think such a thing.

“What’s wrong, Antra?” Willelm asked as he grabbed onto her arm to pull her inside.

"There was a letter from home."

Willelm closed the door after letting go of Antra’s arm. Because of how distraught she looked, he could only assume that something terrible had happened. Had Brynden died? Aryana? Had they gotten hurt somehow? So many scenarios rushed through his mind, but he assumed that if someone would have died, Antra would have been a lot more upset what she looked right now. Then he would have expected her to cry and hug him.

“What?”

"Aryana lost the child."

Now Willelm recalled how happy Brynden and Aryana had looked when they had announced the news of the child. He had been very happy for them, hoping that a child would help his brother somehow. This hadn’t been what he had expected to hear, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it either. It was sad that Aryana had lost the child. He couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like for Brynden and Aryana. A part of him felt the need to travel North now to visit Brynden before he would settle in the East.

“The Gods are cruel,” Willelm mumbled as he raised his hand to rub it against his chin.

Antra nodded, but Willelm couldn’t stand to watch her so upset. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her into his embrace. While he held her tight against his chest, his hands stroked over her hair in an attempt to soothe her. He knew she would need it.

There were quiet sobs coming from her, and it broke his heart to hear her cry. Willelm hated seeing her upset. He wanted to take care of her, and he was glad that he had decided to stay in his room for the evening. Gently he stroked his hands down over her back before squeezing his arms around her. Willelm pressed a kiss against the side of her head, hoping that he would be able to comfort her.

"It's so unfair,” Antra said while hugging him so tightly.

“I know. They didn’t deserve that.”

"They were so happy."

“They’ll be okay, Antra. It’s going to be tough now, but they’ll get through it.”

"I want to be with them. This is horrible."

Willelm didn’t think there was a way for Antra to go North to be there for Brynden and Aryana. Perhaps if she left Rydan behind in Wheldrake, she could, but it was a long journey, and by the time she would be there it would already be too late. He was sure that they would be just fine by themselves as he knew Brynden and he had seen the chemistry between him and Aryana when they had announced the news of the child. They would get through it, but he understood that Antra was worried. Of course she was.

“I know, Antra,” Willelm mumbled while raising his hand to comb his fingers through her hair.

 

[desti]

The joy Antra had felt when she was told about Aryana’s pregnancy had been so incredible. She was so happy for her brother and for Aryana that they would have this child together. Obviously the thought of being an aunt was wonderful as well. It also made Antra think about herself and Rydan, and she wondered when they’d have children. So far they hadn’t been lucky, but there was still time.

When a letter came from Nilfgaard, Antra had expected it to just be an answer to the one she’d sent after the wedding. It wasn’t, it was so much worse than that. At first, Antra was surprised to see how short it was. It was just a few short sentences in her brother’s familiar handwriting. Though there weren’t many words, each of them stung as she read them and Antra’s heart broke.

Hadn’t Brynden suffered enough already? The Gods were cruel, they truly were, for making him go through loss all over again. Not to mention Aryana. Gods, Aryana. Antra couldn’t imagine what she must be going through right now. She saw how happy she’d been for the child. Antra thought she must be devastated. Her whole body ached to go back to Nilfgaard and be with them, but she knew it was impossible.

Perhaps Antra should’ve gone to Rydan after reading it, but she just couldn’t. It didn’t seem right. There was nothing wrong between them, but Antra didn’t think he was the right person to go to. Maybe later. Right now, she wanted to see Willelm. Her brother was still, thankfully, in Wheldrake. Antra knew he would leave soon, but for now he was here and she was grateful for it.

The sadness was obvious on her face, though it wasn’t like Antra was trying to hide it. She didn’t care to hide it, she just wanted to talk to him and get this off of her chest. It was all so unfair and Antra couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks anymore. Willelm’s hug was comforting, at least, but Antra thought she would be upset about this for many days.

“This is so unfair,” Antra mumbled.

“It is.”

Again, Antra sobbed and held onto Willelm so tightly while she buried her face against his chest. She hoped that she wasn’t bothering him. Antra probably ruined his evening with all of this, but he had to find out eventually and it was better to tell him straight away. Not like Antra could keep this to herself, anyways. Willelm walked them over to the bed where they sat down.

"It'll be alright, Antra."

“It’s awful.”

"They'll be okay."

“What if they won’t be? They lost a child, Willelm.“

While Antra hoped that they would indeed be alright, she feared that this might hurt them greatly. She knew that Aryana and Brynden had had a rocky relationship to say the least. Losing a child they were so excited about could hurt them, and Antra was afraid that it’d be irreversible. She couldn’t even imagine what that was like and she hoped to never experience something like that.

"And that's horrible, but they're strong."

Then Antra nodded, because she wanted to believe Willelm’s words. She wanted to think that they were strong enough to pull through this, because the alternative seemed dreadful. Antra wanted them to be happy, they didn’t deserve this. It was so soon after the wedding, though.

"With time they'll get through it."

“I hope so.”

"Trust me."

Again, Antra nodded and pulled away a little from him. Antra thought about what she would have to do next and that was probably write a letter to Brynden in an effort to at least be with them in that way. It wouldn't be ideal, but at least they’d know they were in her thoughts. Willelm reached over to wipe her tears away and kissed her forehead, while Antra sniffled a little and tried to calm down so that she wouldn’t begin crying again. That wouldn’t help at all.

It was somewhat easy to calm down while she was with Willelm. He was cupping her cheek and stroking it gently, which felt so very calming. Antra leant against his side then, laying her head on his shoulder. She didn’t want to leave his side tonight, but Antra didn’t know if that would be okay with Willelm. Antra didn’t know if Rydan would mind, but she didn’t really care at the moment.

"Have you sent a letter to them?"

“Not yet, no.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll probably get that done tomorrow. I can’t right now,” Antra mumbled and shook her head a little.

"Don't worry about it."

At that, Antra nodded and closed her eyes as she pressed closer against Willelm and wrapped her arms around his neck. That would likely be the first thing she’d do come morning, but right now that was too much for her. Antra needed to calm down first.

 

[scoorpiuuss]

The sadness Antra expressed was understandable. Willelm felt sad that this had happened as well, but he didn’t want to pessimistic about it. There was no reason for him to doubt Brynden and Aryana’s ability to get through the pain of losing a child. He imagined it would be very tough, but he thought that they were strong. They would be able to get through it that he was certain of. He understood that Antra perhaps found it difficult to believe that, though. Willelm would try to make her understand, but he wouldn’t force her to push her sadness away.

Antra pressed closer against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Willelm responded with wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. Gods, all he wanted was to comfort her through this. If she would want to stay with him for the rest of the evening, he wouldn’t force her to leave. Willelm didn’t mind. If anything he would let Antra do whatever he wanted as long as it would make her feel better.

As the hug grew tighter, Willelm began stroking his hands over her back again. His fingers traced along her spine as he kept his lips pressed against her head. Now he could only hope that Antra wouldn’t lose herself over this. He knew how much she cared for Brynden and Aryana, but she had to be strong as well. No matter how unfair it was or how cruel the Gods were, they would all get through it eventually.

"I wish we could be with them,” Antra mumbled.

“If I have time I might visit them, but I don’t know.”

"Could you?"

“If you want me to then I’ll visit them,” Willelm said as he pulled slightly away from her to look at her.

"Please do."

That was the least Willelm could do for Antra and Brynden. He wasn’t sure what Brynden would think of him coming to visit, but he wanted to be there for them. If it would bring Antra some comfort as well, there was no doubt that he would go North to Nilfgaard. Willelm nodded at her request with a gentle, but sad smile resting on his lips. Antra hugged him again then, and he sighed quietly as he squeezed his arms around her. At least they had each other through this. Willelm was thankful for that, and he was glad that he had chosen to stay.

“And if there’s anything else I can do for you, just tell me,” Willelm mumbled.

Antra only nodded, but Willelm hoped she would come to him if there was anything he could do for her. He only wished the best for her, and seeing her upset wasn’t something he enjoyed. While they sat there, Willelm kept stroking his hands over her back.

"I miss him. I'll miss you."

“I’ll miss you too, Antra. I promise I will come visit you as often as I can.”

"Thank you."

Gods, Willelm would miss her so much. He already missed Brynden a lot. It was easier to get over how much he missed him because he had Antra, but he knew as soon as he would leave Wheldrake he would feel terribly lonely. He imagined that he would be quite busy once he would settle in Stormwind, but he hoped that he would find enough time to visit Antra. She wasn’t too far away, and he thought it wouldn’t it be too difficult to keep in touch with her. Neither would be far away from Brynden so he hoped he could visit him as well.

“It’ll be alright.”

Antra nodded at his words, and Willelm pulled slightly away from her so he could look at her again. He met her gaze, watching her as she wiped her tears away. Like before he raised his hand to cup her cheek, stroking his thumb along her. It seemed like she was trying to smile at him, but Willelm thought she looked so sad still. He prayed that she would feel better soon. She didn’t deserve this pain. Neither did Brynden and Aryana.

“Do you want to stay here?”

Again she nodded, and Willelm knew he wouldn’t mind her company. He stroked his other hand along the side of her body, while moving the hand on her cheek into her hair.

"Is that alright? I can go."

“You can stay. I don’t mind,” Willelm reassured her.

"Thank you,” Antra nodded.

“Stay for as long as you need.”

When Antra hugged him, Willelm pulled her even closer to him as he laid down against the bed. She nuzzled her face close to his neck, and the sensation of her breath ghosting over his skin felt so nice. They had always been quite affectionate. It was normal in their family, and Willelm had never minded the cuddles Antra gave him or the endless hugs Brynden gave him. It had always been pleasant.

Willelm stroked his fingers along her spine again, all the way up to her hair to comb his fingers through it. If she wanted to sleep here with him, then he would let her. He wondered if her husband would like that, but it wasn’t like he cared about that. He wanted to take care of his sister.

 

[desti]

Family was important to the Rhynes and that’s why Antra chose Willelm’s company over Rydan’s at the moment. She remembered that she’d always run to Brynden when something was wrong. Antra would stay with him a lot and she imagined now that she probably ruined his evenings quite a bit back then, but she didn’t think he minded too much. If Brynden was gone or too busy, then she’d go to Willelm or Rhea. Either way, being around family always helped Antra feel better.

“When are you leaving for Stormwind?”

"Soon. If I'm going to visit Brynden as well I should leave in a few days."

“Oh.”

Honestly, Antra thought he would stay longer. At least she had hoped that he would. But perhaps it had been too long already. Still, Antra couldn’t help the slight disappointment in her voice. She figured she could just rely on Rydan then, but Antra didn’t want to lose Willelm. Gods, she wished that he could stay forever. It was hard enough without Brynden, but now Willelm would be gone too. Antra had never been alone before and she was almost afraid of it.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright.”

"I wish I could stay, though."

“I wish you could. But I’ll manage. You can visit,” Antra shrugged.

At least Willelm wouldn’t be too far away from Wheldrake. He was around in the middle between Antra and Brynden, and in a way she envied him because of it. She hoped that Willelm would be able to visit every once in a while. Antra dreaded the thought of seeing her brothers only maybe once a year. It sounded so lonely, even if she’d have Rydan by her side.

"And if you need me to come back, send a raven."

“I’ll be fine.”

The last thing Antra wanted to do was make Willelm worry about her. She wanted him to go to Stormwind and be a good Lord like she thought he would be. Antra didn’t want to burden him with her loneliness, so she wouldn’t do that. Instead, she’d probably end up bothering Rydan. She could only pray that he wouldn’t get tired of taking care of her. Gods, she was so fragile and immature, even after everything that had happened in the war.

“Good.”

“Maybe I’ll be able to visit you someday.”

"I'd like that."

“Good. Maybe I can visit when you get married. Brynden could come, too. We’d be together again.”

Then Antra couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on her face as she thought about that. The thought was so nice that she wanted it to become a reality. Maybe it was stupid of her and overly wishful, but was it? How hard would it be for the three of them to come together every now and then?

"That would be nice."

“It sounds nice.”

"I doubt that will be any time soon, though."

“I guess…”

Again, the disappointment crept up on her. Maybe it wouldn’t happen soon, maybe only in a year or two even. Antra wanted to cry because of how much she already missed Brynden and how much she would miss Willelm once he’d leave. How would she be able to live without them for months? It hurt her heart to think about how they’d be so many leagues apart.

"What?"

“I hate that we’re not together anymore. It feels wrong.”

"I know, but there's nothing we can do about it."

“I know and I hate that.”

When Antra was a child, she thought that a Queen could do whatever she pleased. That was obviously wrong, since everything that Antra wanted was out of her reach. She wanted Elias, but he was gone from her life. Brynden and Aryana were gone, too, and soon Willelm would leave as well. It was unfair. Antra wanted to go home and just go back to how things used to be.

Then Willelm hugged her again and Antra pressed her face against his neck. She pouted a little and closed her eyes, pressing close against him. Willelm’s hands were stroking over her hair and her side and he squeezed his arms around her, which calmed her down again. Antra felt so stupid about how ungrateful she was about everything that Brynden had given her. She should’ve been happy, but she wasn’t, though Antra was trying her best.

“You’ll have to write me letters.”

"I will. I promise."

“Good. Thank you.”

Willelm kissed her head and Antra sighed quietly. She hoped that he would keep his promise. It didn’t take too long to write a letter, after all. It wasn’t that much, but receiving one from Willelm would undoubtedly make her day a whole lot better. A small gesture like that would mean a lot to Antra.

 

[scoorpiuuss]

While travelling Willelm thought it would be rather difficult to write letters to Antra. As soon as he would be settled in Stormwind, he would make sure to send her a letter every now and then. Since he assumed that would mean a lot to Antra, he was determined to remember it. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset her. Right now he would do anything to make her happy, and if that meant he had to make a thousand promises, Willelm didn’t mind. That was what family did for each other. Willelm would do anything for her and Brynden.

The thoughts of marriage hadn’t really lingered for very long on Willelm’s mind. He thought there was no need to rush it as he was still young. First of all, he wanted to settle in Stormwind before he started thinking about settling with a woman. One day he would be ready for that, but it wouldn’t be any time soon. He did want a family of his own, but it could wait. For now, he would focus on himself and his siblings.

Willelm rubbed his fingers gently against Antra’s head, hoping that she was already beginning to feel better. Perhaps he was too wishful, but he wanted her to be happy. Antra cuddled against him, and he closed his eyes as he nuzzled his face against the top of her head. He missed the times the four of them spent time together. Gods, he missed Rhea. The thought of what had happened to her still haunted his mind.

Because of how pleasant it felt to lay on the bed with Antra, Willelm didn’t let those thoughts bother him now. She was stroking her hand so soothingly over his shoulder, making him sigh quietly. He thought he could have easily laid there for hours with her. They were both getting comfort out of it, or at least he hoped Antra felt as comforted as he was.

“Is there anything you want to do? Or do you want to lay here for the rest of the day?”

"Just laying here sounds nice,” Antra mumbled.

“Then we’ll do that.”

"Am I ruining your evening?"

“No. You’re making my evening a lot better,” Willelm chuckled.

Being with Antra was a lot better than spending the evening getting drunk and having some woman try to get in his trousers. Willelm did enjoy that a lot as well, but it couldn’t even compare with the company Antra gave him. If he was planning to stay in Wheldrake for longer, he could have easily made a habit out of it. It reminded him so much of home, and what life had been like before the war.

"Good,” Antra chuckled.

“I hope I’m making your evening a little better as well. I hate to see you upset.”

"You are,” she nodded.

That was good. Willelm smiled as he pulled a little away from her so he could look down at her. Antra smiled at him which made him incredibly happy to see. He smiled back at her before moving his hand so he could pinch her cheek gently while chuckling. Before he could do it again, Antra slapped his hand away and giggled. Willelm was quick to wiggle his fingers against the side of her body then. She kept giggling before she rolled away from him.

Willelm was laughing as well as he grabbed onto her arm to pull her back against him though he didn’t stop tickling her as he moved his hand back to the side of her body.

"Stop."

“Why?”

"Because I'm telling you to."

“Okay,” he chuckled as he let go of her hand and stopped tickling her.

"Rude,” Antra mumbled, and Willelm thought she was pretending to look angry with him, but it only made him laugh at her.

“Oh really?” Willelm asked, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Very.”

In an attempt to earn her forgiveness that he hadn’t even asked for, Willelm scooted closer to her to wrap his arm around her. He stroked his fingers along her spine before he leaned down to press his cheek against hers. Instead of getting her forgiveness, Willelm had to watch as Antra turned her head away from him. It was slightly amusing to watch her be annoyed with him.

“Come on,” Willelm chuckled.

Antra turned her back towards him which made him laugh again. He moved closer to her so his chest pressed up against her back. In case she would try to move away, he wrapped his arm around her waist and held her close to him. That made her giggle, and Willelm was glad that she couldn’t pretend to hate him forever. He nuzzled his face into her hair, sighing quietly again at how nice it felt. He would miss her company so much when he had to leave, but he was sure that they would both survive.

“Does this mean you forgive me?”

“Maybe.”

“Please.”

"I'll think about it."

“Are you going to make me wait for your forgiveness?” Willelm asked while chuckling.

 

[desti]

Even pretending to be mad at Willelm was hard for Antra to do. She wanted to laugh and smile and forgive him, but this was fun as well. This made Antra think about how things were back at home and everything almost seemed normal for a second. She had no idea what she would do without Willelm by her side, but right now Antra didn’t want to think about that.

“Yes,” Antra giggled.

“Rude.”

“No, I think it’s fair.”

"It's not fair."

“Why’s that?”

"Because I'm comforting you now. You should forgive me."

At that, Antra pretended to think. She turned around and chuckled, shrugging a little as she looked at Willelm. As a sign of her forgiveness, Antra hugged him tightly again. Willelm hugged her back, just as tightly while he squeezed his arms around her. Even though pretending was fun, Antra thought this was a lot nicer.

“Alright, I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

Again, Antra giggled while she nuzzled her face against his neck. She had cried just moments before, but Willelm took care of her and took her mind off of things. Antra loved him for that and she was grateful because of it. He was such a good brother and Antra was lucky to have him in her life. Willelm was stroking her hair and Antra felt so much better now than before.

Then she pulled away slightly so she could look at him, smiling at Willelm a lot more genuinely now. Antra still felt so very upset about what had happened, but all she could do was keep Brynden and Aryana in her thoughts and pray for them. Her being miserable would do nothing good.

"Are you feeling better?" Willelm smiled back at her.

“Yes, thank you. I’m still staying here, though,” Antra mumbled and pressed closer to him, just to make the point clear that she wasn’t planning on leaving.

"Are you going to end up sleeping in my bed?"

“Probably. It’s very comfortable.”

Really, Antra didn’t want to get up because she truly did feel so very comfortable in Willelm’s arms. She thought they could stay like this for days and she wouldn’t complain. Antra didn’t think there’d be anything wrong with her staying here, if Willelm didn’t mind. She hadn’t met Rydan that evening to tell him where she was going, but she didn’t think he’d have anything against this either.

"I wouldn't mind."

“Good. Then I’m staying.”

“Good.”

Surely Rydan wouldn’t mind. One night apart wouldn’t do them any harm, since otherwise they were doing just fine. Antra would explain it to him in the morning, though she thought that perhaps a guard would tell him where she went if Rydan would be worried enough to ask. Maybe he didn’t care enough, though, and would appreciate some time alone.
“How come you stayed in tonight?”

Maybe it wasn’t right of Antra, but she grew terribly bored some days and asked the Mistress of Whisperers to tell her some gossip around court. Sometimes she told Antra about Willelm and what he did with his free time. It seemed like Willelm had gotten very lost in the life of Wheldrake, but Antra didn’t judge him for it. He could do whatever he wanted, as long as he didn’t get hurt.

"I didn't want to go out."

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

"Me too."

“So you’d rather spend time with your annoying sister than do all those fun things?” Antra laughed.

“Always,” Willelm chuckled and smiled.

“That’s so sweet of you,” Antra giggled.

Whether or not Willelm was genuine, Antra was glad that Willelm had chosen to stay in his room tonight. Otherwise, Antra would’ve been alone and then she would’ve had to try to let Rydan comfort her. She didn’t know if he would’ve been this good at it, though. Antra never really bothered him with her sadness and she didn’t think she’d ever would. He was her husband, but it just didn’t feel right to Antra, as she’d just feel like she was annoying him.

"It's true."

“I’m happy to hear that,” Antra chuckled and smiled.

“Good.”

“I’m going to miss you so much,” she mumbled as she moved her hand to cup his cheek.

It was hard for Antra to imagine how she’d manage without Willelm. He was the person she was closest to in Wheldrake, someone who she could fully trust in and talk to about anything. The closest to that was Rydan, but it just wasn’t the same. Antra liked him, but she didn’t feel that close to him yet. Maybe that would change over time, but Antra didn’t know that for sure.
"I'll miss you too,” Willelm said, smiling a bit more sadly now.

“You’ll be a Lord. You’ll be too busy to miss me.”

"That's not true."

“Yes, it’s a joke,” Antra chuckled and patted his cheek with her hand gently.

At that, Willelm just shook his head and laid down on his back. Antra leant up on her elbow and watched him. Willelm reached over and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, making her chuckle a little. She moved and pretty much fell half on top of him. Willelm groaned under her and Antra giggled again because of it. She doubted that he was hurt or anything, since she wasn’t that heavy. That was confirmed by Willelm laughing too.

“You really don’t mind me staying here?”

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Willelm wasn’t lying as he told Antra that he would rather spend time with her. Venturing out of the castle every evening got exhausting, and he preferred moments like these where he was truly enjoying himself with the company of someone he loved. He hoped that she believed him as he was extremely happy about choosing to stay inside tonight. A part of him didn’t even want to imagine what could have happened if he hadn’t been there. Antra had been so upset, and he selfishly wanted to be the one to make her feel better.

“I don’t. I like having you here, Antra,” Willelm said as he attempted to reassure her.

"I hope so. I like being here.”

“Trust me.”

There was no reason for him not to want her there. Hopefully Antra was genuine as she nodded and giggled. Willelm trusted her that she believed him since he truly did want her to stay with him. Though he knew because of this, he would only end up missing her more. He raised his hand to touch her arm, stroking his fingers along her while smiling at her. Now he hoped that he would have enough time to visit her. He was still worried that her duties would get the better of her one day, but he was mostly proud of her.

"I love you,” Antra mumbled.

“I love you too.”

"Good,” she chuckled.

“I’ll always love you,” he smiled.

"I hope so,” she giggled.

Gods, Willelm would always love her. Of course he would. Antra was his sister, and he had always loved her. No matter how many times he had tried to annoy her, scare her or tried to make her angry, Willelm had always cared for her. She meant so much to him, just like Brynden also did and like Rhea had. He nodded then, chuckling as he stroked his hand up to rest against her cheek. The smile Antra had resting on her lips made him happy to see. It was much better than seeing her upset. He smiled back at her as she stroked her hand over his shoulder.

With a deep sigh, Willelm wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her even closer to him. Antra was almost laying on top of him already, but he didn’t mind. Hadn’t it been for the slight rush of energy she gave him, he could have easily fallen asleep now with her. It was so fucking comfortable to feel her pressing closer to him while they hugged each other. Willelm didn’t want to let her go.

“So you know what I do in the evenings?”

"Sorry,” Antra chuckled.

“Never thought you would be spying on me, Antra.”

"I'm not,” she said as she raised her head and their gaze met.

“I know,” Willelm chuckled.

It wasn’t as if he cared that Antra knew what he did in the evenings. He wasn’t exactly trying to hide it. There wasn’t anything wrong with him enjoying himself, at least that was his opinion about it. Antra had possibly gotten a little offended by his remark as she slapped her hand against his shoulder before laying her head back down. That made him laugh as he stroked his hands over her back.

"Rude,” Antra mumbled.

“What did I do now?”

"Laughing at me."

“You’re funny.”

"And you're mean."

Willelm squeezed his arms tightly around her then, “no, I’m not.”

"So mean,” Antra giggled.

At that, Willelm turned to lay on his side while keeping Antra close to him. He began stroking his hands over her back again. Spending time with her was always fun. Even if it had started with her coming here because of horrible news, it seemed as if they were able to distract each other from what had happened to Brynden and Aryana. Antra pressed her body close against his, and Willelm closed his eyes as he nuzzled his face against the top of her head. He loved every second of this.

"So you're learning from Brynden?"

“Antra,” Willelm scoffed.

Antra began giggling, and Willelm wasn’t sure what to think of her remark. It wasn’t exactly unknown what Brynden had been up to for the last few years. He clearly hadn’t been able to keep his hands off of Aryana either since she had ended up pregnant. Either way, Willelm felt slightly uncomfortable thinking about how his brother’s habits seemed to have become his habits now. He shook his head, laughing at how silly it all was.

“Don’t say things like that.”

"Why not?" Antra giggled.

“I don’t like remembering Brynden’s old habits.”

"Why? Because you used to make fun of him and now you're just like him?"

“Now you’re being rude,” Willelm pouted.

Now it was his turn to pull away from Antra as he tore his gaze away from her. She was chuckling while she cupped his cheek, but Willelm didn’t look at her. He closed his eyes, still pouting as he pretended to be deeply hurt by her remark. It didn’t really bother him too much, but it was a little strange. Surely Brynden had been worse than him. There was no doubt about that.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to forgive you for that remark,” Willelm sighed.

 

[desti]

Maybe it was rude of Antra to make fun of Willelm, but she couldn’t help herself. It was too easy to do that right now and to her it seemed so funny. While Willelm seemed upset, she figured that he was only acting that way, like usual. Antra didn’t really care about what Willelm did in the evenings, but she thought that it was amusing that he was becoming a bit more like Brynden or perhaps just getting lost in the city life.

“I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me one day.”

"I'll have to think about it."

“Please,” Antra pouted and stroked his cheek.

"Okay, I forgive you."

“Thank you. You’re so kind.”

At her words, Antra giggled and leant over to kiss his cheek. This just felt so sweet to her, and Antra found it somewhat easy not to think about the reason she had come here in the first place. She didn’t want to ruin her and Willelm’s mood, since they both seemed happy now. Antra figured she could go back to her own room and be fine, but she’d much rather stay with Willelm tonight.

"Of course,” he chuckled.

Antra smiled and hugged her brother tightly again. She loved him so much and she hoped that his life would be well in Stormwind. Antra hoped that he’d marry soon, not only because of her selfish need to be with her brothers again, but also because she thought Willelm might feel lonely. She thought that he would definitely need someone by his side, because he was quite sensitive.

Willelm’s arms squeezed around her and Antra laid her head down on his shoulder while she moved her leg to rest just a little on top of his thigh. He kissed the top of her head and Antra smiled as she cuddled closer against his side, moving her arm to lay over his waist. Willelm’s fingers were stroking against her back and Antra thought she might fall asleep now.

“And you really don’t mind me being here?” Antra asked, for maybe the hundredth time that evening.

“I don’t.”

“Alright, good. Just making sure,” she chuckled.

“Don’t worry.”

“I’m just making sure. I don’t want to bother you.”

Though Antra was told time after time that she wasn’t bothering anyone, she couldn’t help but feel like a burden most of the time. It was stupid, probably, but she couldn’t stop those kinds of thoughts from entering her mind. Antra had no reason to think like that, so she wasn’t entirely sure why this always worried her. Maybe it was because of her childish she was.

"You never bother me."

“Good,” Antra chuckled.

“Good.”

Antra smiled and let the quiet settle in the room. She didn’t mind it and it wasn’t uncomfortable. Though Antra did feel like she might fall asleep soon and she wasn’t sure if she wanted that just yet. If Willelm was true and didn’t plan on staying in Wheldrake too much longer, then Antra wanted to spend as much time with him as possible and talk a bit more.

“Tell me something.”

"Like what? I'm sure you already know everything since you're spying on me."

“I’m not spying on you,” Antra groaned and slapped his chest.

Then Willelm laughed and it only made Antra roll her eyes while she giggled quietly. She wasn’t spying on him, truly she wasn’t. People just told her things. It wasn’t as though Antra stopped them from telling her it and she was a little curious to hear all the gossip around Wheldrake, but she also didn’t specifically ask about Willelm. That made it alright in her mind.

"I don't know what to tell you, Antra."

“Boring,” she mumbled.

"Don't call me boring,” Wilelm scoffed.

“Then tell me something exciting.”

"That I'm getting drunk and spending my evenings with whores?"

“See, that’s exciting.”

It was undoubtedly inappropriate for them to speak of such things, but Antra didn’t really care because it was fun, though they often made her blush and giggle. She thought it was amusing and it made their conversation more interesting. At least Willelm’s days were a lot more interesting than hers.

"How?"

Antra shrugged and chuckled, “sounds fun.”

“It is fun,” Willelm chuckled.

“I don’t doubt it.”

"Oh really?"

At that, Antra shrugged again and giggled. It did sound exciting to just go out, drink and share a bed with someone you didn’t quite know. That was something most men did and Antra almost envied them for having such a freedom to do what they wanted.

"I sadly don't have any fun stories to tell you, though."

“Disappointing.”

“I know.”

“Oh well,” Antra mumbled and chuckled.

"Do you have any fun stories?"

“I know it might be quite shocking, but I don’t go out in the evenings.”

Obviously it was better that way. No matter how exciting Antra thought it was, that sort of life obviously wasn’t for her. Her evenings were spent with her husband, usually. That wasn’t bad and Antra didn’t mind, but it definitely wasn’t exactly exciting.

"That is disappointing."

“I know. Sorry.”

"I forgive you."

At that, Antra giggled again, “good.”

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Conversations
Chapter CXXXI
House Hastwyck
Sow knowledge, reap wisdom.
Santrella, Southern lands of Aedighar ​

It had been another month, and Leanah felt as if she could burst any second now. The child had grown so much that she could barely see her feet as she looked down at herself. There was nothing more exciting than that, though. She loved being able to feel her child moving around in her belly and seeing the signs of it growing. Soon it would be time for her to give birth. At least that had been what the Maester had said. Leanah was so excited, but she realised that she wasn’t as prepared as she would have liked to be. Gods, she needed advice.

There was no doubt in Leanah that her mother was the right person to go to for advice. She had been so busy with Adian that she had rarely found time to speak to her. It upset her since she loved her mother so much that she would have liked to spend more time with her, but she was often busy, and Leanah was feeling more and more exhausted. It had become a daily ritual for her to sleep during the day. That was mostly because she couldn’t sleep at night because the child kept her up with how active it had become.

Leanah felt bad for Adian who she kept up with her, bothering him until she became tired enough to ignore the movements of the child. It didn’t seem like it bothered him, which she was rather thankful about. She wouldn’t have been able to survive the pregnancy without him, but the closer she got she realised that it would only get worse. At least it would soon be over, and Leanah thought that it would all be worth it. She hoped it wouldn’t be too horrible as she wanted to give Adian children as well, but she was quite scared that it would be very painful.

It was the afternoon when Leanah found herself walking down the hallway to her mother’s room. When was the last time she had been there? She couldn’t recall which meant it had been too long ago. Once the child would be born, she would definitely need her help. Leanah did worry that she wouldn’t be a good mother. She thought that Adian would be a good father, but she doubted her own skills as she wasn’t sure if she was ready for the huge responsibility yet. There was no going back now, and she knew she had to get ready.

Leanah stopped in front of the door, raising her hand to tap her knuckles gently against the wood. Once her mother opened the door, there was a gentle smile resting on Leanah’s lips. Something she was thankful about was how she hadn’t hurt Arthor because of this. She was so grateful that she didn’t seem to loathe her for carrying his bastard. That made Leanah feel more at ease with her pregnancy.

“Mother,” Leanah said.

“Leanah,” her mother said as she returned smile Leanah had given to her.

Her mother let her into the room, and Leanah stepped inside. Because of how heavy her belly had gotten she didn’t waste any time to walk over to a chair in her room to sit down on. Gods, Leanah worried that her knees would break one day from how weak they felt. Her mother sat down with her in the other chair, and Leanah met her gaze, still smiling. The pregnancy had for sure made her a happier person, or perhaps that was Adian.

"How are you feeling?"

“Exhausted,” Leanah chuckled.

"I hope you're resting a lot,” she nodded.

“I try, but I can barely sleep. The child is very active and strong.”

Instinctively her hands went to her belly as she spoke of the child. Leanah couldn’t imagine what it would be like when it would be born. She would have her child in her arms, and she thought that the sensation of that would be surreal. Perhaps she was getting too excited, but she thought that it was much better for her and the child if she wouldn’t stress herself up too much about everything that could go wrong. She had her mother, Arthor and Adian by her side to help her, and the Maester if anything would happen to her or the child.

"When you or Timos would get a bit too energetic, I'd just get up and walk around for a little while. It helped to calm you down.”

“Did it ever get to the point where you couldn’t get out of bed, though?”

"No. Does it hurt?"

“Never, but it makes me feel so exhausted after a while.”

"You and Timos were quite calm, really,” her mother said while shaking her head.

“Gods, I must be unlucky then,” Leanah chuckled.

The child had only gotten more active during the past few weeks. Leanah knew that Arthor had warned her because he had been quite active as a child. It didn’t hurt, but it could get slightly uncomfortable after a while. Usually it would feel better if she gently stroked her fingers against her belly, or asked Adian to do it, but there had been times she didn’t want to get out of bed.

"Seems that way,” her mother chuckled.

“At least it is strong, very strong. That must mean it’s healthy.”

 

[desti]

The thought that Leanah was with a bastard brought Carlys no joy. Gods, she had wanted to rip Sir Overton’s head right off of his shoulders when she was told of this. As if everything couldn’t get any worse. It was so stupid of Leanah, and Carlys was disappointed in her. It did bring her some pride back when she saw how Leanah was taking responsibility for this. Obviously Carlys would help her wherever she could, but mainly this was something Leanah had to deal with herself.

Really, Carlys wasn’t sure if Leanah was ready to have a child, going by how immature she was sometimes. It seemed like the thought of having it brought Leanah joy, though, and Carlys would just try to believe that it would all go well. The thought of someone finding out the child’s true parentage worried her, of course it did. It would ruin Leanah’s name and the people would look down at her. Carlys would just have to make sure that the truth would never come out.

It always brought her joy to see Leanah. Now it happened rarely, but Carlys understood that she probably didn’t have time. Come to think of it, she thought she had spent more time with Adian over the last few months, rather than with Leanah. Now that Leanah stood at her door, Carlys wouldn’t let the opportunity to spend some time with her pass by. She did love her daughter more than anything else in this world and moments spent with her made her happy.

Speaking to Leanah about the pregnancy made Carlys remember when she’d been with Timos and Leanah. It had been terrifying and beautiful at the same time, and Carlys was glad that she’d had Benam by her side to help her. Leanah had Adian and that was good. Carlys knew that having a husband during this time was so very important for a woman. It made everything easier and more bearable.

“Hopefully, yes,” Carlys smiled.

"I'm very excited."

“That’s good. A child is a wonderful thing.”

Even if it was a bastard, Carlys figured that they’d all be happy to welcome it into this world. She prayed that it would be a girl, but that was out of their control. Carlys hated the thought of the child of Arthor being the one to rule the South in many decades. If that would end up happening, though, Carlys knew that there was nothing they could do about it. They’d just have to deal with it and she would have to pretend like everything was alright.

"I'm worried I won't be a good mother, though."

“You’ll be a great mother, Leanah.”

"What if I'm not ready?"

“You are. You’ll be good, Leanah, and I’ll be here to help you with anything.”

Obviously having a child was nerve-wrecking and Carlys too had worried that she wouldn’t be a good mother when Timos came into this world. It had all happened naturally, though, and Carlys didn’t even understand how she’d grown used to everything so quickly. She had no doubts that the same would happen to Leanah and she’d easily deal with her new role as a mother.

"Thank you."

“It’s scary, but you’ll be fine. I know it,” Carlys said and smiled back at her.

"I'm glad I have Adian to help me."

“I’m glad, too,” Carlys nodded.

It brought her joy to see how well Leanah and Adian got along. She had been worried that Leanah wouldn’t let him in after everything, but they seemed to be happy together. There was a sort of pride in Carlys because she had been the one to make the match and she was glad that she’d chosen the right man for Leanah. Adian was just as kind and good as she had thought he would be.

"And I'm glad I have Arthor as well."

At that, Carlys just nodded a little, because her feelings towards Arthor still hadn’t quite gone back to how they used to be. The things he had done to her daughter always ran through her mind when she looked at him, and Carlys couldn’t help the anger that went through her even at the mention of him. She was trying for Leanah, because she knew that they were still close and, apparently, things were going better between them. Gods, it was hard, though, to not let herself hate him.

"They've both been very helpful."

“That’s good.”

Then Leanah nodded and Carlys sighed. Leanah knew very well that Carlys would’ve much preferred to send Arthor away rather than have him around Santrella. That would’ve been the best action to make, but Leanah loved him and wanted him in her life. Carlys wasn’t cruel and she couldn’t take her friend away from him, even after all the horrible things he’d done. If Leanah asked her to do something, or not do something, then she found it hard to refuse her.

"I shouldn't have brought him up."

“No, I should’ve reacted better. I don’t trust him, Leanah, and you know that. I’d much prefer him to be far away from here.”

"I know, but I have seen him change. He's really trying to do better."

“I find that hard to believe, but sure.”

"We shouldn't talk about him."

“We shouldn’t,” Carlys agreed, “I’d rather hear more about you, the child, your marriage.”

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Suddenly Leanah was reminded of the reason she hadn’t spoken to her mother in so long. It frustrated her that no matter how hard she tried to make everything better, she somehow felt judged and misunderstood by everyone.

When she had been with Arthor, she had been both foolish and naive. It had been a mistake that never should have happened, but there was nothing she or Arthor could do about that now. Though it seemed as if in the eyes of her mother, Leanah was still naive and foolish. Leanah shifted in her seat at the thought of how unpleasant this conversation was. For so long she had believed that she had gotten better, but perhaps she was wrong.

There was a chance that Leanah was still naive to the reality of the situation, but she had been so proud of herself for handling the situation with joy and positivity that it upset her when it seemed as if she was the only one who did that. The whole mood had dwindled for her as she looked at her fingers. Now she wanted Adian to come get her. He must have been the only person who understood her, and the only person who was happy with her.

But Leanah began to doubt that happiness now. If no one else was happy for her, how could Adian possibly be positive towards her having a bastard? It made no sense to her anymore, and she wanted to stand up and leave. Instead, she played with her fingers as she thought about how silly she had been for her excitement towards the bastard. She would love it, but she realised that it could also ruin her life and be the death of her.

“I’m well. The child is well, and so is my marriage,” Leanah replied, raising her gaze to meet her mother’s with a thin smile on her lips.

"I'm happy to hear that, Leanah,” her mother smiled.

“Adian makes me very happy.”

"I'm glad it's working out."

It was working out. Leanah was incredibly lucky to have Adian, even if she sat there now, slightly doubting his happiness. That only meant she would have to talk to him about it later. Honesty was something she had learned was quite important in a marriage, and it wasn’t difficult for her to be honest with Adian. If anything she craved to get up from her chair to go speak to him now, but she didn’t want to leave her mother just yet.

“We’re in love,” Leanah mumbled, genuinely smiling now at how much she cared for him.

"You are?"

“Yes.”

"That's wonderful."

That seemed to make her mother joyful. Leanah let her reach for her hand, but it made her slightly angry that she didn’t want to let her speak about how Arthor had changed. It made her feel as if she was a fool for believing in him, and she knew she wasn’t wrong for believing in him. Everyone made mistakes, and she was certain that her mother had made her own mistakes too. She still smiled, squeezing her hand only because she shared the happiness towards her love with Adian. She was a lucky woman to have him.

“We’re very happy together. I’m very lucky to have him,” Leanah said.

"I'm happy for you."

“Thank you.”

Her mother smiled then while squeezing her hand and Leanah hoped that one day that she would be able to have a conversation with her without feeling dumb or misunderstood. Was it so difficult for her to speak about Arthor? Perhaps Leanah should have asked her to send Arthor away, but she thought it was unfair since Arthor was trying to do better now and she believed everyone deserved to get a chance.

“I think he is happy about this child as well. I hope so.”

"He is. He keeps talking about it,” her mother chuckled.

“That’s good. He must be the only person who understands me,” Leanah smiled.

"Well, I'm glad you gave him a chance."

“Of course. I’m not a fool.”

“Good.”

Leanah became silent then. Would she ever stop feeling like a fool? She should have known better than to love Arthor, but it wasn’t as if she could control her own feelings. Gods, this conversation was making her doubt everything about herself and her own ability to grow up. Perhaps she would always be immature and dumb, but she didn’t want to be. She wanted to be good for Adian and a good mother to her child. It was such a mess that Leanah wondered if she should have run away from Santrella and all the responsibility she had.

"Is there something wrong, Leanah?"

“No. I’m fine,” Leanah said with a slight smile.

“Good.”

“What would you do if this child is a boy?”

Now Leanah wanted to hear what her mother would think of that. She obviously had come to accept the consequences of her child being a boy. It seemed like Adian had accepted that as well no matter how messed up it would be. Since Arthor had been quite nervous, she wanted to hear what her mother thought of that as she wondered if she would be angry if her bastard would rule the South.

 

[desti]

It wasn’t hard for Carlys to see that something was off with Leanah. She had seemed fine at first, but the conversation must’ve changed her mood at one point. Carlys wasn’t entirely sure what she had said that was so wrong, but Leanah wasn’t telling her anyways. Maybe the thought of the child was upsetting her, judging by her next question. Carlys didn’t want to think about this, but Leanah was making her do just that.

“I would do nothing.”

Though Carlys wouldn’t like it one bit, she wouldn’t do anything about it or try to prevent the bastard from becoming the heir of Leanah. It would be awful and not at all what she would prefer to happen to the South, but what was there to do about it? Killing the child or sending it away would make people ask too many questions and Leanah would undoubtedly be upset about it.

“Okay.”

“Obviously, I don’t like the idea of a bastard inheriting the South, but if it happens then so be it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be dead by then, so I guess there’s no reason for me to worry, really.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“It’s alright, Leanah. There’s nothing we can do about it, except just deal with it.”

It was hard for Carlys to take her own words to heart, but she tried to just move on from how angry it made her feel. It was difficult, obviously, and Carlys thought it would take her a long time to stop feeling that anger inside of her. Maybe actually seeing her grandchild would make her a little less appalled by the situation itself. A child was a beautiful thing and at least something nice would come out of whatever it had been that Leanah shared with Arthor.

“I know.”

“Good,” Carlys said, squeezing her hand with hers before pulling it away.

Leanah was smiling at her, which made Carlys think that perhaps she was feeling better. Maybe she was just getting at hiding her sadness or Carlys was just very hopeful. She just wanted her daughter to be happy. Leanah was making it a little hard for her, but Carlys loved her so much and she would never let go of her, even after her mind-bogglingly stupid mistakes.

“I’m having a grandchild. I’m really starting to get old,” Carlys mumbled and chuckled a little.

“But I hope you’ll live for many more years.”

“Of course. I have to take care of the South for a few more years.”

A few more decades, probably. Carlys was in good health so she figured that her life would be long enough to see even the bastard grow up. Then again, maybe she should die before she’d see what kind of person the bastard would be. Just so Carlys wouldn’t be on her deathbed, worrying about the future of the South. Those thoughts were a little morbid, though, and Carlys didn’t want to think about them while she was with Leanah.

"I hope I will be as good as you."

“Of course you will be,” Carlys smiled.

"Do you really think so?"

“Yes, I do. I’ll teach you everything and you’ll be just fine.”

That Carlys was quite sure of. Though Leanah would probably make some mistakes, since that was inevitable, Carlys thought that overall she would do quite well. She was the daughter of her and Benam, after all. Ruling was in her blood. Carlys would teach her what she could and then she and Adian would both be prepared for when they’d come into power. She hoped that it wouldn’t ruin Leanah, because Carlys knew you needed strong nerves to last in a position like that.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Then Leanah was smiling and it seemed to be genuine this time, though Carlys obviously couldn’t read her mind and be certain of it. She hoped that she was happy, because that was all Carlys wanted - for Leanah to be safe and happy. After what happened to Timos, Carlys wanted at least Leanah’s life to be full and enjoyable. She hoped the child would bring her some more joy, as well.

“You don’t have to worry about all that just yet, though.”

"I'll have to take care of the child first."

“That’s true. I’ll be happy to help you, if you need me.”

“I’m sure I will.”

Though the situation was not what she had expected, Carlys was happy that Leanah would be a mother. She was ready to help her out however she could, because Carlys figured that Leanah would likely need her. Carlys would be happy to help, because she thought it might bring them a little closer, considering how they’d drifted apart a little over the last few months.

“Good,” Carlys smiled, “but I’m certain you’ll be a good mother from the start.”

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Evenings
Chapter CXXXII
House Hastwyck
Sow knowledge, reap wisdom.
Santrella, Southern lands of Aedighar ​

Now that it had been months since Elias had last seen Antra, he realised how much he missed her. What they had shared had been something special. He would never forget about the endless evenings they had spent together, all the stories he had told her and how sweet her lips felt against his. To think that she was the Queen of Aedighar now felt surreal. Elias wished he could go back to the beginning and go through that journey with her all over again from how much he missed it, but he was also quite happy in Santrella with Arthor.

There was no doubt that Elias looked at Arthor and saw his lover. They also shared something special. He wasn’t certain about what it all meant, but he knew that he loved Arthor and that he loved Antra. Was it even possible to love two people so much? The situation was strange, but Elias was certain of one thing. He had to visit Antra soon, and his heart ached at the thought of leaving Arthor again.

Gods, if Elias could have decided, he would have made Arthor come with him. He knew that was quite impossible, though. After so many months away from Arthor, Elias felt a little upset with himself for wanting to leave again. He wouldn’t be gone for long. It would take him some time to ride to Wheldrake, but he wasn’t sure if he would stay there for that long. Perhaps for a month or two, but Elias didn’t want to be gone forever. One thing he knew he had to consider was the bastard Lady Leanah was carrying.

Elias wanted to be there for Arthor once the bastard would be born, so he wouldn’t inform Antra on his plans to visit until he had gotten Arthor through that. If it would be okay with Arthor after that, Elias wouldn’t hesitate to travel to Wheldrake. There was not a lot for him to do in Santrella now. If Lady Carlys would need him, he would also have to stay, but he hoped that he would be able to leave as he wanted to see Antra.

It was beginning to get dark outside once Elias left his room to go to Arthor’s. Since there was a chance he was still at work, Elias was in no hurry to get to his room. Though he didn’t mind waiting, Elias had gotten quite bored of laying in Arthor’s bed while doing nothing.

Once Elias reached Arthor’s room, he had gotten into the habit of not knocking at the door anymore. He had gotten called out for it that time Arthor had been taking a bath, but Elias hoped Arthor didn’t mind it. Like usual he opened the door, and he was almost surprised to see Arthor there since he was so used to seeing his empty room. That immediately put a smile on Elias’ face as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

“I’m almost a little surprised to see you here. I’ve gotten used to being alone in your room,” Elias chuckled.

"I can leave, if you want,” Arthor shrugged.

There was a cup in Arthor’s hand, and Elias didn’t have to think long about what he was drinking. Wine was something they both like, though admittedly, Elias had stopped drinking so much of it during the war that he had almost forgotten about it now that he was back in Santrella. Perhaps that was for the better. Arthor stood by the table, and Elias walked over to him to sit down in the chair that stood by it.

“Do you want me to be bored?”

Arthor shrugged and chuckled, which made Elias pout for a moment, “don’t leave me.”

"Where am I supposed to sit now?"

Now Elias was the one to chuckle as he had stolen Arthor’s chair. At first, he shrugged before patting his hands against his thighs with a suggestive smile resting on his lips, though it would likely be very uncomfortable to have Arthor in his lap for long.

"I might be a bit too heavy for that,” Arthor chuckled.

“True.”

“Rude.”

“Perhaps, but you know it’s true,” Elias chuckled.

"Now you've hurt my feelings."

Elias leaned forward while reaching to grab onto Arthor’s hips. While squeezing them tightly, he pulled Arthor closer to him while he looked up at him. Perhaps it looked wrong from the position they were in, but he didn’t think too much of that now. That wasn’t why he was here, though he wouldn’t complain if it happened.

“Forgive me.”

There was no answer while Arthor watched him and took a sip of his wine. Elias wanted some wine now as well, but not yet. Since they were only pretending, Elias wanted to act desperate for Arthor’s forgiveness. With his fingers stroking against his hips he leaned forward to nudge his face against his abdomen while begging for his forgiveness again. This time Arthor laughed before ruffling his hair.

“Hope that means you forgive me,” Elias smiled while pulling away from Arthor.

Elias pulled away his hands from Arthor’s hips as well as he leaned back against the chair again, though he still kept his gaze on Arthor with the same smile on his face. Gods, how would he be able to leave him?

 

[desti]

It had just been another long day. Nothing bad had happened, but it had just been tiring. One of those days that left Arthor feeling drained. Now he just wanted to drink and rest. Though when Elias showed up at his door, Arthor wasn’t one to complain. He did want some company after almost being completely silent for the whole day. Elias’ company was especially nice to have.

Yet as much as Arthor would’ve perhaps liked to sit down in Elias’ lap, he figured that that wouldn’t last too long. They’d have better luck if the roles would be reversed .There was nothing wrong with poking some fun at this, though, so that’s what Arthor did. It was hard to pretend, though, when Elias was begging so nicely.

“Maybe,” Arthor shrugged and drank some more, leaning against the table a little.

"Please."

“Maybe.”

"Come on."

At that, Arthor shrugged a little and looked away from Elias with a small smile. Then Elias touched his hip again and Arthor chuckled a little, but stayed quiet. It was fun to mess with Elias because of how amusing his reactions were to everything.

"I guess I'll live without your forgiveness."

“I guess you’ll just have to do that.”

“How rude.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive.”

"I'm afraid I won't."

Then Arthor laughed and reached over to stroke his hair. He watched as Elias leant back and closed his eyes, making Arthor laugh again. Maybe it was the wine, but Arthor thought he looked so handsome. Gods, Arthor was stupid. Elias slowly slipped down the chair and it was quite amusing to watch that. When he was almost down on the floor, Arthor leant over to push him all the way down. It was funny to Arthor and he laughed as he sat down on the chair.

Elias, however, looked very much betrayed while he got up on his knees to look at him, "you are so rude."

“Oh, really?”

"I think I have to go."

“What? No.”

Now Arthor’s laughter faded, because he wasn’t entirely sure if Elias was joking or not. He did push him on the floor after all, maybe that was a little too far. Elias looked so upset that Arthor actually kind of felt bad, but he also didn’t want to apologise, since then if it was still a joke he would just embarrass himself. Instead of doing that, Arthor set his cup down on the table and leant forwards a little with his elbows on his knees.

Because Elias brought his hands up to cup his face and leant up to kiss him, Arthor figured that he wasn’t upset at all. He smiled and kissed him, while leaning back against the chair again, pulling Elias with him. When Elias got into his lap, Arthor chuckled and wrapped his arms around him. Elias was laughing too and Arthor smiled, kissing him still while his fingers stroked against his back. Meanwhile Elias stroked his hands through his hair. Eventually, Arthor pulled away and reached over to take his cup of wine again, bringing it to his lips to take a sip.

"How are you feeling?"

“I’m alright,” Arthor shrugged and looked up at Elias.

"Not good?"

“I had a long day.”

"Was it boring?"

Most of his days were quite boring, because there wasn’t much to do. Usually Arthor would just stand by Lady Carlys’ side for hours until he’d finally be able to trade with someone else. It wasn’t exactly the exciting life of a knight that he’d dreamt of, but at least he got paid to do nothing.

“Very.”

"I hope I'll make your day more exciting then."

“You always do,” Arthor chuckled and drank some more wine.

"Give me a sip."

Though Arthor would’ve preferred to drink it all alone, he nodded and brought the cup up to Elias’ lips. When it seemed like Elias was going to drink the whole wine, Arthor pulled it away from him again, chuckling a little. Not only did Arthor want to drink the wine himself, but it was also another opportunity to mess with Elias. He couldn’t possibly pass that up.

“Rude.”

“It’s my wine.”

"I thought I mattered to you."

“Of course you do.”

“I want wine.”

“Me too and since it’s my wine, I’m the one that gets more. That’s how life works, Elias,” with that, Arthor patted his thigh and chuckled, drinking again.

“How rude.”

As Elias said that, he tried to move off of his lap, but Arthor kept his arm firmly around him to make him unable to do that. It felt too nice to have him sit here to let him get up, so Arthor couldn’t let him do that, obviously. His legs hadn’t grown tired from Elias’ weight either, so he wanted to have him here for a while longer.

"You're being very mean today, Arthor."

“You think so?” Arthor chuckled and squeezed his thigh.

 

[scoorpiuuss]

Telling Arthor about the plan of going to Wheldrake would be tough. Elias didn’t want to upset Arthor, but he had a feeling that it would make the mood between them dwindle. Leaving him would also be tough, but Elias also thought that Arthor needed some time alone to truly grow and find his happiness. After everything that had happened, though, Elias imagined that it would take a long time. At least Arthor could work on his independence, but perhaps Elias was blind to how tough it would be because he tried to hard to look at the positive side of it.

In the end, Elias knew he would leave, even if Arthor would get very upset with him. He liked to think that Antra missed him as well, and he had promised to come see her again sometime. Perhaps he should have waited for longer, but Elias truly felt a little lost without her at times. He was thankful for Arthor, very thankful, and he would always be the person Elias would come back to, but he also needed Antra in his life.

They could very well only be friends now, and Elias would accept and respect that, but he simply wanted to see her. Arthor would understand that, or at least he hoped Arthor would understand that. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he wouldn’t understand. Elias wanted this to work out.

“You’re not sharing your wine with me,” Elias mumbled.

"Could've brought your own,” Arthor chuckled.

“It’s fine. I don’t need wine.”

"Maybe. Wine makes you weird."

“At least it doesn’t make me stupid,” Elias chuckled.

"That's debatable."

Whenever they had been drunk together, Elias knew that they had both been stupid. Wine wasn’t good for either of them, but he still loved it even though he had somewhat quit drinking it as much as Arthor did. When they had been younger, wine had been very important to them both, and Elias was almost glad that he couldn’t remember half of what they had done, knowing it would only embarrass him to think about it.

“I didn’t come here to talk about wine, though.”

"Oh? Sounds boring then,” Arthor mumbled before taking a sip of his wine.

“I’m afraid you’re going to hate me.”

"Why would I do that?"

Arthor rubbed his thigh which made Elias feel more at ease, but he knew that Arthor could have easily pushed him off and gotten angry with him if he took this the wrong way. He wasn’t leaving him. Their relationship or whatever it was, wasn’t coming to an end. Elias would come back, and he would still be in love with him. Still, he knew it wasn’t ideal for him to leave because of everything Arthor was going through.

“Because I want to go to Wheldrake,” Elias sighed.

There was no reply as Arthor only looked at him and kept drinking. Elias prayed that they wouldn’t fight over this. He didn’t want to argue, that would only make him want to stay which meant that he would likely never see Antra again. That wasn’t what he wanted.

“I wouldn’t be gone for long.”

Again Arthor didn’t say anything. Elias thought that the playful mood they had been it had vanished so suddenly, which he had expected, but he hadn’t expected Arthor to plainly ignore him and not talk about this. It made him feel weird sitting in his lap then, and Elias moved off of Arthor to stand up while looking down at the floor. Perhaps he needed time to think, which was fine. Elias would give him all the time he needed to think.

"When?" Arthor asked as he suddenly broke the silence.

“Not yet. In a few months perhaps. I want to be here for you when it is time for Lady Leanah to give birth,” Elias shrugged.

"Right."

This wasn’t making Elias feel very good about himself. It made him feel selfish. Arthor was his lover in a way, and Antra had been his lover. Now Antra was married, and Elias knew that it would be foolish of him to visit her in case he would ruin her marriage. That wasn’t something he wanted, and it if his absence could ruin what he shared with Arthor as well, then perhaps it would be dumb of him to leave.

They were both quiet now, but Elias wasn’t sure what to say as he doubted if he truly wanted to go to Wheldrake. He missed Antra, but perhaps it was better to let her go, though he knew it was only because of Arthor’s reaction that he was thinking those thoughts. He didn’t want to hurt Arthor.

"And for how long?"

“I’m not sure. For a few months, perhaps.”

"A few months?"

“Well, I’m not certain,” Elias shrugged.

"Right,” Arthor said, and Elias looked back at him to see him take a sip of his wine.

“Are you angry?”

"No."

Elias almost didn’t believe him because of distant Arthor seemed to be now. It made him frustrated as it made him unsure about what to do. Quietly he scoffed as he once again looked away from him. Elias wouldn’t have stopped Arthor if he slept with someone else or fell in love with someone. It wasn’t like the purpose of this journey would be for Elias to get between Antra’s legs. He simply missed her.

“Then what’s wrong?”

 

[desti]

The second Elias mentioned Wheldrake, the happy mood they had created disappeared. Just the mention of that awful place made Arthor feel uncomfortable. Obviously knowing that Elias would leave him for her wasn’t exactly making him ecstatic either. With the wine in his blood and his tired mind, Arthor couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed and jealous. That wasn’t good at all.

Obviously Elias picked up on it, but Arthor wanted to deny the slight anger that had bubbled up inside of him. Gods, it was so fucking stupid of him but he just couldn’t do anything about it. Arthor promised himself that he wouldn’t be jealous and possessive and yet here he was, already overthinking everything and almost trying to think of a way to make Elias stay here with him.

“Nothing?” Arthor shrugged.

"Don't lie to me."

To that Arthor didn’t reply, he just shrugged again. He knew that he had no chance to actually lie to Elias, because he wouldn’t believe a single word he was saying. It must’ve been so obvious in Arthor’s face what he thought about this and he already sucked at lying in general, so there was no point.

"What's wrong?"

“I said nothing.”

"Why are you acting distant then?"

“I don’t know.”

With a sigh, Arthor got up from the chair to refill his cup. The pitcher was on the other side of the table, so he couldn’t have possibly reached it from where he was sitting. At least it gave him a chance to turn his back to Elias. Then he could focus on watching the wine pour out of the pitcher and try not to think about how surprisingly angry this had made him. It was so stupid.

"You don't know?"

“I don’t know,” Arthor repeated.

"So you have nothing against me leaving to be with Antra for some time?"

“Not at all.”

Even to Arthor his words sounded about as genuine as a whore telling a customer that he was special. He tried not to think about it, though, while he drank some more wine. Arthor wasn’t supposed to feel jealous, nor did he have any right to be. He’d slept with women while he’d been with Elias, he’d never gotten angry about it.

"Talk to me."

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Arthor shrugged and turned around to look at him while he leant back against the table behind him.

"Don't lie to me."

For whatever reason, that made Arthor chuckle as he shook his head slightly and took another sip from his cup. This was all so stupid. He was so stupid. Really, so was Elias. Going to Wheldrake was a stupid idea. Arthor could imagine what Elias was going there for, and it was ridiculous.

"What?"

“What?” Arthor mocked him a little, raising his eyebrows.

“Talk to me.”

“I am talking to you,” he shrugged.

"Why are you acting like this? What's wrong?"

The more Arthor thought about this, the less guilty he felt about his emotions towards Elias’ idea. Now it just seemed like Arthor should protect Elias from what would inevitably end up being a shitty, worthless trip. If he was under the impression that things would be the same as they had been during the war, then Arthor was sure that Elias was wrong. Couldn’t Elias see that he should just forget about Antra and move on?

This wasn’t at all about Arthor’s jealousy, not one bit. Obviously this was about Elias’ wellbeing and safety. He belonged here in Santrella with Arthor, not in fucking Wheldrake. Arthor was just looking out for him, that’s all. Eventually, Elias would realise that and he would thank Arthor in the end. While he thought about all of that, Arthor got lost in his own thoughts and the wine, staring at a dent in the wall for no reason.

Just as Arthor was about to take another sip, he saw Elias’ hand shoot forwards and for a moment he thought he would get slapped. Instead, Elias hit the cup in his hand, sending it flying over to the side. Arthor frowned and looked at the mess Elias had made before turning to him, “what the fuck, Elias?”

"Stop fucking lying to me,” at that, Arthor scoffed and rolled his eyes, so Elias continued, "what's wrong with you?"

“What?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Elias repeated.

Arthor frowned and pushed off of the table so he could stand up straight, “what’s wrong with me?”

"Why are you acting like this?"

“Like what?”

"You're acting like a brat."

Gods, Elias really didn’t see that he was just reacting like any other person would in his situation. Arthor was taking it a bit harshly, but overall he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. In the end, he would calm down a little and just let Elias know that this was a stupid idea on his part. He didn’t love her and she didn’t love him. There was no point to waste time and money and go to Wheldrake.

“A brat?” Arthor chuckled.

“Yes.”

“You’re acting like an idiot, so that makes us even.”

"How am I an idiot?"

“Going to Wheldrake is an incredibly stupid idea.”

 

[scoorpiuuss]

The one thing that Elias hadn’t wanted to happen, had happened. Anger pumped through his veins as he looked at Arthor. The immaturity he showed, baffled Elias. Was he not allowed to visit someone who mattered to him? Elias wanted to see Antra, and he had no intentions in ruining her life or risking his own by being inappropriate with the Queen. They had ended on good terms, and Elias liked to believe that even if they couldn’t be lovers, they could be great friends. Seeing her again would make him incredibly happy.

It was clear that that happiness wasn’t something Arthor shared with him. Elias couldn’t understand how Arthor was getting so angry over this, but his words about it being a stupid idea to go to Wheldrake made him wonder.

All this time Elias had been supportive of Arthor and his foolish mistakes. Not once had he told Arthor to quit his friendship with Lady Leanah, or stay away from the bastard she would soon give birth to. Elias didn’t understand why Arthor could be supportive of him wanting to see Antra then. It made no sense, and he found it difficult not to punch Arthor at how fucking stupid he acted right now. Elias had perhaps never felt this angry with him before.

“Why?”

"What are you going to do when you get to Wheldrake?"

“I’m going there to meet Antra,” Elias scoffed.

"Not only her. I'm sure the King will love to meet the man who fucked his wife,” Arthor chuckled.

The words he spoke made him clench his fists. Did he not realise what a hypocrite he was for saying that? Elias wasn’t going there to ruin Antra’s marriage. It wasn’t planned that he was going to visit her. He would send her a letter first, ask if it would be alright for him to come. If it wouldn’t, then Elias would stay in Santrella, but he had wanted to speak about it with Arthor first to prepare him. Clearly that had been a bad idea.

“And I’m sure Lord Adian loves seeing your face every day knowing you put a child in his wife’s belly.”

"I'm sure he fucking hates me,” Arthor laughed.

“If you think I’m going to Wheldrake to spread the Queen’s legs, you are fucking stupid. At least I’m smart enough not to put a bastard in her belly.”

"Oh? Why are you going then?"

“Because I want to see her. She matters to me, Arthor. Even if I’m not her lover anymore, I’m still her friend.”

"That's sweet. I'm sure it's going to go great."

“So you’re allowed to be friends with Lady Leanah, but I can’t be friends with Antra?”

Elias couldn’t believe Arthor right now. It broke his heart that Arthor doubted him like this and because of the anger, Elias could already feel tears stinging in his eyes. The words he had spoken to Arthor hadn’t been right, and he wanted to take them back, but Arthor was a horrible person towards him right now. This wasn’t the Arthor he loved or knew. He wasn’t sure who it was he was speaking to anymore.

"Why should you force yourself back into her life?"

“I can’t fucking believe you right now!” Elias nearly screamed at Arthor before pushing him.

"What the fuck, Elias?" Arthor said after stumbling back and grabbing onto the table.

“I have given you no reason to act like this. What the fuck is wrong with you, Arthor?”

"Nothing's wrong with me. Something's wrong with you, though."

At that Elias took a step back. All this time, he had done so much for Arthor, and now he wanted to do something for himself that he knew would make him happy, and Arthor was treating him like this. Tears ran down his cheeks which he wiped away rather quickly as he turned away from Arthor. When he felt Arthor’s hand against his back, Elias moved away from his touch. At least he didn’t try to touch him again, because right now, Elias didn’t want it. He felt hurt by Arthor’s words, and how he doubted his ability to be Antra’s friend.

“I haven’t even planned the journey. I was going to ask her first, and if she would tell me that she doesn’t want me to come, I won’t go. I don’t understand what I have done to deserve this treatment from you,” Elias mumbled.

"Look, I'm sorry. Come here."

When Arthor tried to hug him, Elias didn’t want that right now. He needed some time to calm down before he would let Arthor comfort him. Therefore, he stepped away again, raising his hands to wipe his tears. Gods, he felt pathetic for crying. It didn’t seem like Arthor understood that Elias didn’t want a hug, because suddenly Arthor was forcing him into his embrace. He had tried to do everything to make this okay with Arthor. Instead of leaving right away he had wanted to stay to support him through Lady Leanah’s pregnancy, and this was what he got back?

“You’re a hypocrite,” Elias said as he struggled against Arthor’s grip.

"Am I?" Arthor asked as he pulled away from the hug, still holding onto Elias’ arms.

“Yes.”

"I'm looking out for you. You're just going to end up hurting yourself, hurting her and her husband. It's not a good idea,” Arthor said as he moved one hand to Elias’ cheek.

Since Elias didn’t want that, he pulled away from him, “not once have I denied you the opportunity of being Lady Leanah’s friend. You are such a hypocrite, Arthor. Why would you be so angry if you're only looking out for me?”