NinjaGirlGamer
Call me Ninja
I’m not new to role playing but I’m still working on obtaining my writing skills. Over the years I made some OCs here and there, you might have considered Mary Sues. My recent character is considered my fully functional OC with a compelling story. However, I just want advice on what I can do to prevent my character from becoming a “Mary Sue”
Below is the basics of my character
1. Her whole family died except her sister. She’s thrown into a harsh world by herself. There’s no overnight power gain and the challenges don’t disappear for her
2. The OC is related to a canon character, the sister
3. She’s a human and immortal (cannot age, she can still die)
4. She has a power which enhances her abilities but when activated she has to constantly be active with her body. Standing still depletes her energy. When not activated, the power limits her to be active all the time. Being nonactive or being idle, she can only go 24 hours idle before the power consumes her and kills her.
5. She doesn’t become peak human overnight. She trains every day
6. She’s a traveler, and the townsfolk either fear her, think she’s a monster, are inspired.
7. Ok yes she has beauty
8. While she does have the power. Going against someone with magic, she will instantly lose.
9. She is a master martial artist. Has a large sword. Good with most weapons.
You get the gist. The point of my character is not to show off or make it so you feel sorry for her. However I’m only asking here for feedback on what I can change. Again, I’m trying to improve my character and my role play skills in general
Below is the basics of my character
1. Her whole family died except her sister. She’s thrown into a harsh world by herself. There’s no overnight power gain and the challenges don’t disappear for her
2. The OC is related to a canon character, the sister
3. She’s a human and immortal (cannot age, she can still die)
4. She has a power which enhances her abilities but when activated she has to constantly be active with her body. Standing still depletes her energy. When not activated, the power limits her to be active all the time. Being nonactive or being idle, she can only go 24 hours idle before the power consumes her and kills her.
5. She doesn’t become peak human overnight. She trains every day
6. She’s a traveler, and the townsfolk either fear her, think she’s a monster, are inspired.
7. Ok yes she has beauty
8. While she does have the power. Going against someone with magic, she will instantly lose.
9. She is a master martial artist. Has a large sword. Good with most weapons.
You get the gist. The point of my character is not to show off or make it so you feel sorry for her. However I’m only asking here for feedback on what I can change. Again, I’m trying to improve my character and my role play skills in general