Experiences Your Biggest Flaw

[Shog]

So I'm making this thread in an attempt to help people (myself included) identify their biggest flaw as a role player, and hopefully get some constructive advice on the matter. Is it a character type that tends to cause conflict in an RP, and not the good kind? Perhaps you don't know how to stay motivated to continue replying? Whatever it is, please feel free to share. Just please don't forget to try and dole out some advice along the way.

For me personally, I think the biggest problem for me is that I have trouble reading and trusting people. I tend to moderate RPs more than join new ones (partially because I dislike large group role plays), and this causes it's own set of problems. Starting at character creation: I am very critical. I try not to push it too far, but tend to nitpick character flaws to a nonsensical extent. I've gotten a lot better and make sure to point out which parts are real problems and what annoys me or just causes minor concern. Still, even when I only have a couple small flaws I'd like fixing, I end up with a solid paragraph of text making it look so much worse than it really is. I tend to do RPs with magic and/or super powers, so I don't trust people to have decent limits (and I have plenty of cases to support my paranoia). On the flip side of things, I think people tend to have the same amount of enthusiasm to keep up an RP as I do, leading me to rarely nudge people to reply and eventually killing off the RP. Then there's everything in the middle, where I can't always tell if I'm annoying someone or being too strict. I ask people to be open and honest with me the entire time to help resolve problems, but I understand not wanting to bring a problem up.

Anyway, I don't know what you can say that can really help. I have many of these same problems in real life. So what about you?

 

[Flowiest D]

Sounds honest, Good job friend. For me I’d have to say my problem in roleplaying, moderating or just playing is that my mood and schedule has slipped into said characters or plot at times. I to have/had a problem with rp’s involving magic/skills and players going to far.

Haven’t actually participated in a while and I’m hoping to.

 

[Welwordion]

For me I often just have no idea how to continue, its partially due to my own standards of quality, partially I lack clear categories of peoples psychology . I would really love to plan and balance a story beforehand , but most time I am glad if I can even get enough people interested in an idea of mine that I can not afford to be picky enough to just pick people who enjoy planning.

 

[fleurdelys]

this doesn't apply so much on a site like RPN but before when I'd go on forum roleplaying sites (i.e., ones based on proboards, jcink, etc.) I'd get sort of overwhelmed by the whole experience/trends - making multiple characters, detailed sheets, finding/making templates, plotting with everyone, etc. - and I would just be too busy to keep up. then I'd just sort of fall into inactivity and be too afraid to come back and apologize/start up again/etc. which I still feel horrible about. x( but by switching to standalone, 1x1 roleplays without so many bells and whistles, I think I've been able to improve on this! I can definitely keep up with my partners, communicate better, and overall manage my roleplays better.

other than that, another major flaw that comes to mind is that I should probably do a bit more proofreading after I finish my posts lol ;; the solution to this is pretty obvious though.

now I'm definitely no expert but I'll try to give some advice/thoughts to you guys above me!

For me personally, I think the biggest problem for me is that I have trouble reading and trusting people. I tend to moderate RPs more than join new ones (partially because I dislike large group role plays), and this causes it's own set of problems. Starting at character creation: I am very critical. I try not to push it too far, but tend to nitpick character flaws to a nonsensical extent. I've gotten a lot better and make sure to point out which parts are real problems and what annoys me or just causes minor concern. Still, even when I only have a couple small flaws I'd like fixing, I end up with a solid paragraph of text making it look so much worse than it really is. I tend to do RPs with magic and/or super powers, so I don't trust people to have decent limits (and I have plenty of cases to support my paranoia). On the flip side of things, I think people tend to have the same amount of enthusiasm to keep up an RP as I do, leading me to rarely nudge people to reply and eventually killing off the RP. Then there's everything in the middle, where I can't always tell if I'm annoying someone or being too strict. I ask people to be open and honest with me the entire time to help resolve problems, but I understand not wanting to bring a problem up.

it's great that you are so passionate and have such a good eye for constructive criticism! I can see how this could be a problem though. personally I think I'm pretty verbose myself so I can understand the feeling of coming up with a solid paragraph about just a few little points. maybe next time you could try doing bullet points, and just including 1-2 key sentences elaborating on each flaw? then you can always elaborate afterwards if necessary.

I can see where you come from about magic/super powers too. I'm not too sure what the best way to approach this is, but perhaps if someone offers a good amount of detail to their powers in the CS, and sets limits there, you can leave it at that and then ask them to edit their posts if they take things too far later on? as for nudging people, I suppose that's just a habit that needs to be made. maybe you can make a rule (that can vary person-to-person of course) that after X days/weeks you send a friendly message saying hi/asking if they're still interested in the RP.

it's hard to know yourself if you're coming off as annoying or strict, but I suppose if you use neutral, objective language and don't bombard people with messages, and have some degree of flexibility you should be safe. this is all much easier said than done of course lol. but if you ask people to be open and honest, I don't think the onus is really on you if people don't speak up about things.

like I mentioned I'm no expert and you probably have more experience than I do, but just some thoughts!

For me I often just have no idea how to continue, its partially due to my own standards of quality, partially I lack clear categories of peoples psychology . I would really love to plan and balance a story beforehand , but most time I am glad if I can even get enough people interested in an idea of mine that I can not afford to be picky enough to just pick people who enjoy planning.

I guess it could vary but if people don't enjoy planning with you, isn't it still possible to plan and balance the story on your own anyway? and take on sort of a GM role?

 

[Welwordion]

I guess it could vary but if people don't enjoy planning with you, isn't it still possible to plan and balance the story on your own anyway? and take on sort of a GM role?

Sometimes I do a lot but it simply gets to overwhelming to figure out all details on my own. Its also a problem of communicating my need for planning, cause I expect people to not enjoy it.
Its also a problem of me communicating complicated concepts as I tend to get complex and philosophical occasionaly

 

[Necessity4Fun]

I can't seem to keep my motivation for long, depression most definitely plays a huge part in this. The point is, I often feel my motivation die in the middle of replies and am unable to find it back in the span of what could be hours to days. Thus I take a really really really long time in my replies when other people are capable of sitting down and doing it all in one go... I end up procrastinating and wasting time a lot.

It is slightly worse because I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. CS's take me days to plan and write out, and I simply cannot post what I wrote until I am 100% satisfied with it. I also often come back to fix typos, months after the reply. If I see the typo I MUST fix it.

So yeah, I think it all boils down to, I waste waaaay too much damn time! ^^'

 

[myfanwy]

", however,"
", but"

i just really fvck!ng love commas, okay?? i hate the word but tho if i'm writing a post.

 

[Welwordion]

I can't seem to keep my motivation for long, depression most definitely plays a huge part in this. The point is, I often feel my motivation die in the middle of replies and am unable to find it back in the span of what could be hours to days. Thus I take a really really really long time in my replies when other people are capable of sitting down and doing it all in one go... I end up procrastinating and wasting time a lot.

It is slightly worse because I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. CS's take me days to plan and write out, and I simply cannot post what I wrote until I am 100% satisfied with it. I also often come back to fix typos, months after the reply. If I see the typo I MUST fix it.

So yeah, I think it all boils down to, I waste waaaay too much damn time! ^^'

This probably would not solve all your problems, but when I found RPNation I also searched for alternative forms of collaborative writing and there was this interesting concept of branching stories. Basically each continuation written by someone from a point in the story would be viable and it would be based on a voting system which would be considered the main branch/storyline. I always thought if you combined that with a system were you could first map out a stories progression with all it different plotlines this would be really great for projects with people of varying contribution.
You could branch ther plotline graphs or simple offer different versions for the realizations/actual writing of a plotpoint.
Unfortunately I never found the software for something like this ^^

 

[Risk]

1. Too many commas.
2. Working between present and past tense too often.

Both are something I need to work on.

 

[Idea]

I think you kind of took the words out of my mouth, Shog . That's a problem I face every day as a roleplayer, and especially as a GM, being too untrusting. And the worst part about it is, that even though I know I have this problem, I can't trust myself to be more loose either, because there is always that lingering doubt and so long as it's there I don't feel like I can bring myself to lower that bar. Because it only takes a couple pricks to take a whole roleplay down. I want things to be solid, to be well done, and I want a roleplay I won't come out regretting more than one where I will necessarily have a ton of fun, which makes my compatbility with most people a little...low. Don't take me wrong: It's not paranoic or unreasonable to take into account the fact most people vastly overestimate their own skills as writers, myself included most likely. But it may just be a mistake to put as many borders of criticism and precaution on things people may just perhaps use for plot-shattering purposes or overly convenient devices or something... My only current plan for containing this right now is in RPs I am not GMing trying to isolate my standards to myself, create internal arcs without much regard for whether others are keeping up the style and degree of quality I want to bring to the table. However, this may be dangerous as it may lead me to isolate my characters too much.

However if I had to say another big thing for me, not just as a roleplayer but IRL as well, is how much I freeze when I egt nervous. Which really doesn't help when I have as strong a sense of duty as I do, because I end up always fretting about how much time I take to do anything at all or how respectful I'm being or what I owe people which ironically makes it even harder to type. I think I could triple my roleplay activity and give a boost to just about everything in my life if I could just stop myself from freezing like that, but I just have no idea how.

Lastly, I've been known to be quite opinionated and argumentative in the past. This goes beyond just playing devil's advocate, it's really just easily slipping into a detailed and lengthy argument over minor things. I've worked on controlling this a lot lately, but depending on the topic I can still get slipped into such a matter. This particular flaw is not something I want to change too much, albeit I know it has gotten me problems in the past. But I do believe that criticizing somehting you find wrong and attempting to correct people is not attacking them, if anything it's an attempt to help and treating them with respect. Treating the opinions of others like thye don't matter is, in my eyes, a form of sub-human treatment.

 

[World crafter]

I like normal people.

 

[Welwordion]

I like normal people.

Your flaw? or a comment on the people and their problems in this topic?

 

[World crafter]

My flaw...

And they do seem like normal people.
Just very... Passive.

 

[QuirkyAngel]

I can't seem to keep my motivation for long, depression most definitely plays a huge part in this. The point is, I often feel my motivation die in the middle of replies and am unable to find it back in the span of what could be hours to days. Thus I take a really really really long time in my replies when other people are capable of sitting down and doing it all in one go... I end up procrastinating and wasting time a lot.

It is slightly worse because I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. CS's take me days to plan and write out, and I simply cannot post what I wrote until I am 100% satisfied with it. I also often come back to fix typos, months after the reply. If I see the typo I MUST fix it.

So yeah, I think it all boils down to, I waste waaaay too much damn time! ^^'

You and I share the same problem, though mine might be to a lesser degree. Writing and I share a love-hate relationship at times, which leads to procrastination. Even when I know what I want to write, even when I have everything planned out, I end up finding excuses to delay the actual posting. Might be perfectionism. Might be laziness. But writing is a hobby that takes mental energy...and the more I think about it, the more I delay doing it. When I do find the motivation to write, I usually do it in one go, but it might take me hours to do it as well-which exhausts me. I'm always double-checking things, character sheets, making sure I get descriptions right, overthinking my replies...(I go back and correct typos too)

I waste too much time on one post, going back and forth on details that don't matter, which makes writing a more tiring process then it should be, and causes me to procrastinate. Interestingly, the more I like an idea, the more I plan for an rp, the more I delay in the actual process of writing it. It's like I don't trust myself to put my imagination into words :/ I also have a tendency to flip flop between ideas and take a loooong time deliberating over the pros and cons of each. Then there's my problem with completing what I started..

I think you kind of took the words out of my mouth, Shog . That's a problem I face every day as a roleplayer, and especially as a GM, being too untrusting. And the worst part about it is, that even though I know I have this problem, I can't trust myself to be more loose either, because there is always that lingering doubt and so long as it's there I don't feel like I can bring myself to lower that bar. Because it only takes a couple pricks to take a whole roleplay down. I want things to be solid, to be well done, and I want a roleplay I won't come out regretting more than one where I will necessarily have a ton of fun, which makes my compatbility with most people a little...low. Don't take me wrong: It's not paranoic or unreasonable to take into account the fact most people vastly overestimate their own skills as writers, myself included most likely. But it may just be a mistake to put as many borders of criticism and precaution on things people may just perhaps use for plot-shattering purposes or overly convenient devices or something... My only current plan for containing this right now is in RPs I am not GMing trying to isolate my standards to myself, create internal arcs without much regard for whether others are keeping up the style and degree of quality I want to bring to the table. However, this may be dangerous as it may lead me to isolate my characters too much.

However if I had to say another big thing for me, not just as a roleplayer but IRL as well, is how much I freeze when I egt nervous. Which really doesn't help when I have as strong a sense of duty as I do, because I end up always fretting about how much time I take to do anything at all or how respectful I'm being or what I owe people which ironically makes it even harder to type. I think I could triple my roleplay activity and give a boost to just about everything in my life if I could just stop myself from freezing like that, but I just have no idea how.

Lastly, I've been known to be quite opinionated and argumentative in the past. This goes beyond just playing devil's advocate, it's really just easily slipping into a detailed and lengthy argument over minor things. I've worked on controlling this a lot lately, but depending on the topic I can still get slipped into such a matter. This particular flaw is not something I want to change too much, albeit I know it has gotten me problems in the past. But I do believe that criticizing somehting you find wrong and attempting to correct people is not attacking them, if anything it's an attempt to help and treating them with respect. Treating the opinions of others like they don't matter is, in my eyes, a form of sub-human treatment.

What you want is what you want. I don't think there's anything wrong with having standards (I probably need more of it ^^; )

That said, if you feel you need to lower the bar a tad, I'd suggest joining a relaxed, game-styled rp and seeing how that runs. I once made a fate rp where I allowed the Servants to be as 'powerful' as they wanted. Gilgamesh was there. Several characters were Gods. Yet none of that mattered because there was a set battle system. Doesn't matter how 'overpowered' you want your character to be because there's no 'overpowered' when it comes to chance. Even if the other character is a human, if you want to battle, and your Servant loses the roll, they lose IC. End of discussion. Have fun writing how that worked out.

I think in my case, I just don't have any expectation of other players (not sure if this is a good thing) and simply set rules to ensure that absolute chaos doesn't happen. Never had confidence as a gm to start with, so failing doesn't scare me. As a player, I'm more focused on my own characters, so I can ignore the flaws of others. Bad writing for example...so long as I can read it and respond to it, doesn't really matter to me. I don't mind that another player's ultimate, strong ninja defeats all the villains because, in most cases, I never intend for my characters to beat them from the start (hates spotlight cause it means more writing and work for me =P). I'm probably not invested enough in rps, but in your case, it might be that you're a bit too invested that you're forgetting the fun/game aspect. The point of a group rp is to interact with other players, feed each other's imaginations, and build something grand together. Thinking like that helps me be okay with the bits of holes and inconsistencies I see here and there.

Though, tbh, I think you're fine.

 

[SandraDeelightful]

Sometimes, when I'm really into a roleplay, I rush out responses, just out of enjoying myself too much and being eager to continue.

 

[World crafter]

I sometimes flame at people that make me work on an Rp for 2 days, then pull out, and say they can't handle me, after 3 posts.

 

[elusivethought]

Can I list a few? lol.

1. Action scenes

I have issues balancing between being too specific and drawing everything out, or just coasting over it. I love action, but making it work with a partner can be challenging for me. I never want to step on toes, but I want to contribute, and I want things to move. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯​

2. Character crafting and development

Sometimes I have no idea how a character is going to grow and their arcs are the laziest things ever. Particularly compared to some other amazing partners I've had/still have, it's obvious I lack in this area. I'm all right at establishing a character, but pushing them to their limits and prompting development can be tough for me.​

3. Confronting partners

Yes, yes, I know I'm shit. I'm trying to be better, but sometimes I'm bad at this. >.>​

 

[World crafter]

I hate it when my partner writhes 2 paragraphs about opening a door.

 

[Welwordion]

Taking endlessly to formulate sentences until they sound right to me, beeing to unsure of myself, investing to much into an idea and then beeing disappointed when others don't respond with the same enthusiasm. Giving people the freedom to create the world with me, so they can get more engaged only to be disappointed by their perceived apathy/ lack of response.

 

[World crafter]

Edit: woopz, dark!

 

[MiracleGrazer]

I think my biggest flaw is figuring out how much information is too much for worldbuilding when it comes to introducing a premise. I want to add enough to give prospective players a good idea of how to build their character, but at the same time I don't want to overwhelm them with information that they think is super important. I tend to just try to have a short primer that includes the most important ideas about a setting and a codex that describes the world in more detail.

 

[World crafter]

I think my biggest flaw is figuring out how much information is too much for worldbuilding when it comes to introducing a premise. I want to add enough to give prospective players a good idea of how to build their character, but at the same time I don't want to overwhelm them with information that they think is super important. I tend to just try to have a short primer that includes the most important ideas about a setting and a codex that describes the world in more detail.

You simply use it as theme park.
Everything is there, they just walk into the front door.
After that, their the gods of their experiance.

 

[Niiohontesha]

I feel my biggest flaw in roleplaying is that I like to be spontaneous. I like things to happen as I think of them and this often leads to having poor organization and planning on my end.
Working on it *shakes fist*

 

[MiracleGrazer]

You simply use it as theme park.
Everything is there, they just walk into the front door.
After that, their the gods of their experiance.

I like to liken my primer to a brochure

 

[Necessity4Fun]

I'm putting these two together because what I say may help you two, you can be spontaneous but also have a bit of planning.

2. Character crafting and development

Sometimes I have no idea how a character is going to grow and their arcs are the laziest things ever. Particularly compared to some other amazing partners I've had/still have, it's obvious I lack in this area. I'm all right at establishing a character, but pushing them to their limits and prompting development can be tough for me.​

About character development, you don't need to have planned every single arc and what you want to do with it, just just need to know who your character IS and where they could end at.
Knowing who your character is come to you a lot more fluid if instead of thinking of character is parts you think of it as a whole, as a concept. This is how I do things and it's a great way to make all that pertains them highly connected. It starts with something as simple as 'my character is as rich teenager boy with toy manipulation' and goes on far and beyond to how his childhood was like, how the family reacted, how did past experiences affected him and made him who he is today?

It may seem like a lot to some people, but getting to know more about a character as a person makes it easier to get into it and know the ways they react to things, the ways they prefer acting.
From here you can establish what I call 'end games' for them, one is normally letting the situation control them, the other is striving for change. In the example I was giving you (Yes, he exists, it's my character and I love him) Kendrick has the option of abdicate being himself and obliging with following his father's footsteps despite not wanting to, OR he could turn it all around, which in his case means to leave his home, the place he lived at all of his life, because he'll not have freedom in there.

I don't know where it will end, and I'm not going to force one path over the other, I'll just keep throwing him at various situations and see how he deals with them. Those situations, the way they are solved are the ones pushing him either way, not me. My only 'job' is writing for Kendrick as accurately with his character as possible.

It's really enjoyable for me and I hope others in that RP too. You don't need a huge character arc, you can still let them grow with each new experience, slowly, just like real people do >w<
Think about that~

I feel my biggest flaw in roleplaying is that I like to be spontaneous. I like things to happen as I think of them and this often leads to having poor organization and planning on my end.
Working on it *shakes fist*

Some of the text above may have already given you some ideas, but I like being spontaneous a lot too, but you can't be full on spontaneous, it's what I discovered, especially if you're in charge of a scene : P

Having a vague, just a little vague idea of where you want things to go is a fantastic guideline and helps you not derail things. You don't need to know exactly what you'll do to reach that goal (that takes all of the fun out of it) but at least have one. Don't defend it with claws and fangs either, if a new opportunity come up that gives you a better or more enjoyable idea then pounce on it!

I just cannot say the same for characters themselves, I prefer having these very well structured since the start of at least I go on filling out things as I think of them. My first character for this RP was one I tried thinking things about on the go (especially why her parents were're not with her) and my ways out ended up being the most comic-like improbable one.

Still acceptable, but with a really, really thin probability to happen. I didn't like it, but I'm not one for retcons either ^^'
So yeah, that's my advice, don't do that XD