Your Roleplaying Fears

[Bone2pick]

I'd like this to be a thread where you can share and discuss the elements of roleplaying that intimidate you.  Have there been any roleplays whose concept and pitch excited you, but you were too afraid of rejection to pitch a character?  Do you regularly suppress the urge to create your own roleplay because you're worried it won't attract enough interest?  What other fears are holding you back.


And for those of you like me, who view themselves as virtually fearless, what advice can you give to those who lack creative courage?

 

[KiKi Kitsune]

As a GM I always found it difficult to be hard on my players and tell them if they were doing something wrong. I couldn't reject people either, even if their CS clearly showed that they would not be suited for the RP. I didn't even want to confront them if they had been absent for long periods of time, despite me setting rules up allowing me to kick them from the RP. 


Basically, I was a scardey wimp who was too afraid I might hurt someone's feelings. Luckily, I've grown out of that for the most part thanks to my friends repeatedly chanting "IRON FIST" whenever I had to be mean to someone. 


I'm not against being nice to people, but the extent it went to meant I couldn't enjoy my own RPs because others were getting out of hand. I can't blame them because I didn't say anything. 

 

[Thalia_Neko]

Ive had both those fears you put in the opening. Quite often in fact lol.


But my primary fear, is when someone joins my rp, that they'll just make a character, then ultimately wont do much because THEY are to fearful to engage in the plot going on. I get so scared that I cant keep people interested, even when its incredibly easy to just put your character right in the middle of my plot and be instantly involved.

 

[RatFlail]

Usually it's fear of missing a detail in another RPers post. This gets worse the more active and better the other RPers are. I love the precise descriptions, but it gets difficult when I return to find 3 pages of posts at least 20 lines apiece. The creative part of the brain gets in a logjam trying to process it so I don't contradict another post until all of the enthusiasm has drained out of the RP. It's the reason that I've stuck with 1x1 lately.

 

[Bone2pick]

As a GM I always found it difficult to be hard on my players and tell them if they were doing something wrong. I couldn't reject people either, even if their CS clearly showed that they would not be suited for the RP. I didn't even want to confront them if they had been absent for long periods of time, despite me setting rules up allowing me to kick them from the RP. 

It sounds like you have a general fear of confrontation.  That's a flaw that often gets magnified when you become the GM.  Kudos to you for growing and having the resolve run your RP to your standards.

But my primary fear, is when someone joins my rp, that they'll just make a character, then ultimately wont do much because THEY are to fearful to engage in the plot going on. I get so scared that I cant keep people interested, even when its incredibly easy to just put your character right in the middle of my plot and be instantly involved.

You're concerned that players are too intimidated to push the story?  I can understand that.  It's certainly something a GM should keep in mind, but not fear.  

 

[call me rae]

I don't intimidate easily, I might be too lazy or busy or stressed to read like half a novel in order to join up in a roleplay but that's about it. 


if I had to pick anything that kind of throws me off it's - lack of a setting or spontaneous roleplays.


That whole concept of just starting with - Character A and Character B at a Place doing a Thing - and Go!


I just can't. It's not fear so much as I get paralyzed by choice and start micro-managing in a desperate effort to understand how things work. 

 

[Windsock]

I fear my AUTHORITAY not being respected.

 

[call me rae]

I fear my AUTHORITAY not being respected.

lol about 95% of why I don't do groups at all right there. The best way I know how to handle that is two fold


1. No the difference between hard limits and guidelines.


For instance if you say that you want characters to post two paragraphs but you'd be fine with five sentences that's a guideline and something you can work with someone about.


If however you say no sexy times and you are willing to kick someone out if they go against that - it's a hard limit.


2. Stick to your hard limits no matter what. People will try all kinds of ways to get around pretty much every rule/guideline you post. However if something is a hard limit for you than you stick to it. No. You can't do XX. If they don't want to abide by that kick them out. 


I believe in a one strike then your out policy. Especially if it's something I believe is a hard limit and will negatively effect the roleplay for everyone else. 


tl:dr - don't be afraid to give people the boot if they don't respect your AUTHORITAY. being respected can be better than being well liked.

 

[Windsock]

lol about 95% of why I don't do groups at all right there. The best way I know how to handle that is two fold


1. No the difference between hard limits and guidelines.


For instance if you say that you want characters to post two paragraphs but you'd be fine with five sentences that's a guideline and something you can work with someone about.


If however you say no sexy times and you are willing to kick someone out if they go against that - it's a hard limit.


2. Stick to your hard limits no matter what. People will try all kinds of ways to get around pretty much every rule/guideline you post. However if something is a hard limit for you than you stick to it. No. You can't do XX. If they don't want to abide by that kick them out. 


I believe in a one strike then your out policy. Especially if it's something I believe is a hard limit and will negatively effect the roleplay for everyone else. 


tl:dr - don't be afraid to give people the boot if they don't respect your AUTHORITAY. being respected can be better than being well liked.

you got that shit.

 

[Viper]

Personally I have a fear about contacting old RP partners. Sometimes I stumble onto an interest check where everything looks great until I see their profile picture and realize that I had a role play with them once upon a time. Knowing me, I probably dropped the RP I had with them for some reason (no time in real life, I lost interest, etc) and so because of that I have this huge fear that they will remember me too and instantly refuse to RP with me due to me leaving them the first time.  Even if it wasn't me who dropped them, I worry about contacting people I RPed with in the past. 

 

[Umbrie]

As a GM I always found it difficult to be hard on my players and tell them if they were doing something wrong. I couldn't reject people either, even if their CS clearly showed that they would not be suited for the RP. I didn't even want to confront them if they had been absent for long periods of time, despite me setting rules up allowing me to kick them from the RP. 


Basically, I was a scardey wimp who was too afraid I might hurt someone's feelings. Luckily, I've grown out of that for the most part thanks to my friends repeatedly chanting "IRON FIST" whenever I had to be mean to someone. 


I'm not against being nice to people, but the extent it went to meant I couldn't enjoy my own RPs because others were getting out of hand. I can't blame them because I didn't say anything. 

we have that in common. it is why i can't be a dungeon master. because i am too nice and too non-confrontational.  literally let people get away with far too much, which kills the RP for me and makes me kind of cower. because i let myself be stomped by overpowered characters.

 

[The Comet]

I have alot of fears, really. I fear I may be pressured concerning how long my posts are and usually try to brandh into two paragraphs even though I know I usually only get lucky when done. Recently I've been on a roll with double paragraph posts so I feel like the fear is fading.


Then there's GMing. I've been thinking of making a roleplay but aa said in the first post, I'm scared it won't attract interest or I won't be able to GM it properly. I've been thinking of making a roleplay more thoroughly now and am thinking of a bold long laating idea, maybe even conquer this fear.


Then there's the spotlight. Yes, I want attention in roleplays but sometimes I feel like I generate too much and become the center of attention. This worries me because what if I can't post? What if I have a bad post? What if I have the spotlight for too long? What if someone gets jealous? How can I reply to various characters in one post?


I know these all seem like insecurities but these are my fears. I didn't list all of them cause I'm on mobile but I hope you get the gist.

 

[Saccharine Cyanide]

I guess this applies more broadly to my writing than just roleplaying, but I'm afraid I'm not making anything of value. I feel like my writing isn't saying anything important, that it's not speaking to some sort of truth in the world. And then I fight myself over whether it's okay for me to just write something that doesn't have any deeper meaning and feel like I'm being ridiculous, which I probably am.   (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

[Literary Revenant]

I think, the thing I find intimidating is when one of my characters has an encounter with a character that has an intensely detailed backstory and lore that sort of... puts them above all other creatures. There is one experience where I had in my RP someone had made a super detailed custom character that was... not fitting with my lore. This character was a super powerful sorceress lady who was from a hyper advanced race. She wore a mask, and was sort of rude to other characters so my character, who also wears a mask, challenged her "Super high class sorceress ladyness" with some cleverly hidden PG-13 jokes. When I was expecting the character to be incredibly insulted, she was in my opinion wrongfully ignorant. If I basically compared the character to an insulting object so blatantly, there SHOULD be some form of anger or something. When I spoke to the player behind the Character, he basically told me that she 'got' the joke or he 'got' the joke and decided to blow my character off and go about her day. 


In short, I am afraid of not getting a desired response to certain actions. Then again most RPs I joined ended up with a simple "Starting period" where people try to get others to interact with their characters and just try to make friends while the story is never expanded upon.

 

[Thalia_Neko]

Then there's the spotlight. Yes, I want attention in roleplays but sometimes I feel like I generate too much and become the center of attention. This worries me because what if I can't post? What if I have a bad post? What if I have the spotlight for too long? What if someone gets jealous? How can I reply to various characters in one post?

This is a big insecurity/fear I have, when I roleplay. Farrr too often I find my posts are more frequent then others, include more imagery/ideas/character moments. They tend to worldbuild, have suspense/an air of mystery, and foreshadowing, and are more involved. They are generally larger than a lot of posts as well. Even when Im basically saying nothing, my post will be around 3-4 pargraphs longer than my fellow rpers (some of them anyway). I tend to think my characters end up getting more fleshed out, find their way into the spotlight far more often (even if they have no business being there), and I feel really bad about it. But I cant be the one who roleplays in the roleplay. It isn't my fault that others dont make bigger, more elaborate and engaging posts. I cant just make a small post with no effort put in, if others do it that way.


So uh, yeah, what to do? :<

 

[The Comet]

This is a big insecurity/fear I have, when I roleplay. Farrr too often I find my posts are more frequent then others, include more imagery/ideas/character moments. They tend to worldbuild, have suspense/an air of mystery, and foreshadowing, and are more involved. They are generally larger than a lot of posts as well. Even when Im basically saying nothing, my post will be around 3-4 pargraphs longer than my fellow rpers (some of them anyway). I tend to think my characters end up getting more fleshed out, find their way into the spotlight far more often (even if they have no business being there), and I feel really bad about it. But I cant be the one who roleplays in the roleplay. It isn't my fault that others dont make bigger, more elaborate and engaging posts. I cant just make a small post with no effort put in, if others do it that way.


So uh, yeah, what to do? :<

I feel kinda guilty, that was the word I was looking for. Guess there's nothing to do but get over it, right? 

 

[Thalia_Neko]

I feel kinda guilty, that was the word I was looking for. Guess there's nothing to do but get over it, right? 

Guilt definitely factors in. Yuh, I guess get over it and ignore it. :S

 

[Whisker]

I wouldn't say this is a fear as much as it is an aggravation, but worrying that my post won't convey a particular scene how I picture it in my head is a big one for me. I think more in pictures than I do words. That's just a fact. When I write, I got this running cinema going on in my brain, and I try to transpose it to paper as cleanly as I can. That always leaves me wondering if it came out alright, but I scarcely bug any of my roleplaying pals about it unless their post is completely off the wall or in contradiction to my own. 

 

[Bone2pick]

I guess this applies more broadly to my writing than just roleplaying, but I'm afraid I'm not making anything of value. I feel like my writing isn't saying anything important, that it's not speaking to some sort of truth in the world. And then I fight myself over whether it's okay for me to just write something that doesn't have any deeper meaning and feel like I'm being ridiculous, which I probably am.   (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I'm invulnerable to this fear.  I write what I love so the value is never absent.  There is no "deeper meaning" that I pursue.  And once I lock in on what I love: that perfect scene, that perfect bit of dialogue... then I know I've hit gold.  


My humble advice would be to always, always, write for yourself.  

 

[Lord Pug]

My fear is making my character say or do something that conflicts with their character sheet. For instance:


Character sheet: Luke's parents are dead.


Me: When Luke came home, his mom was angry because he had been out all night.


My partner: Wait...aren't Luke's parents dead?


Me: ...Yeah...

 

[Vupie]

This whole thread pretty much sums up why I don't do groups role-plays. I'm terrified I wouldn't be able to reply accordingly, or I would do something that wouldn't match up with what someone else was planning to do. I mean, 1x1 has the same issues, but I get overwhelmed with groups. I get scared any time I start a new RP though, I get over it eventually, but everyone types differently or has different ideas, so it can be nerve racking (for me) to adjust because I don't want to screw up and scare off a good partner.
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[Esper Alucard]

I have a deep fear of rping with ANYBODY that has a horror rp character. Im just scared of rping on a peacful night and suddenly, i witness someone getting gutted and eaten. IVe seen that once, and i dont want to see it again. What also scares me are people that counter my char without even knowing. I have a blood mage, so pretty useless against a vampire, forcing me to spam her pistols

 

[Sizniche]

Literally nothing but the fact that I live in a <2k population town, where there isn't a single tabletop roleplay handbook for several hundred miles.

 

[Truthblade]

A bit of a paranoid one, but my biggest is making a character that turns out to be a Mary Sue, mostly because I am somewhat new.  This is my main reason why making backstories is so hard for me in other people's roleplays, because If i make it too dull, my character is dull, but if it is too unique and unusual, then their a Mary Sue. The last thing I want is to end up being "that guy"....

 

[call me rae]

A bit of a paranoid one, but my biggest is making a character that turns out to be a Mary Sue, mostly because I am somewhat new.  This is my main reason why making backstories is so hard for me in other people's roleplays, because If i make it too dull, my character is dull, but if it is too unique and unusual, then their a Mary Sue. The last thing I want is to end up being "that guy"....

And this is why I don't use terms like Mary Sue in my threads. Because it confuses newbies and makes them think that all their characters have to come with a verified autobiography that is vetted by five people in real life. 


No. You can give your character whatever backstory you want as long as it fits the universe. Don't be playing an alien in roleplay taking place in feudal japan or anything but if you want to give your character a "tragic" backstory, make them over the top, or tropey that's all fine. 


We all make characters like that. The people who say differently are either lying to themselves or they spend truely staggering amounts of time making vetted autobiographies and to be perfectly frank most of us don't have time for that.


No the problem isn't making a character that is a bit over the top or one note. The problem is when your character breaks the flow of the roleplay. 


And that's a player issue entirely and has nothing to do with the character itself in anyway.



As long as you are not creating your characters for the sole purpose of winning the roleplay and destroying the story. And your okay with the idea that other people might not like your character as much as you do than you're fine.