Opinion Why is everyone so young?

[Little Lozy]

Really loving the discussion going on guys.

 

[CatGirl]

If they're too young, you'd have to control the description of gore and romance. Some young writers are very skilled, but the majority reflect their age in their grammar, story-preference and logic - so unless you're keen to entertain that, I can understand why some people prefer to write with older/more mature writers.

 

[rae2nerdy]

If they're too young, you'd have to control the description of gore and romance. Some young writers are very skilled, but the majority reflect their age in their grammar, story-preference and logic - so unless you're keen to entertain that, I can understand why some people prefer to write with older/more mature writers.

I am curious on what you mean by control the descriptions of romance and gore? This site does not allow explicit content with romance so I would think there wouldn’t be any issues there.

And just never really heard teenagers being afraid of gore, if anything it’s the opposite in my experience. My little sister and her friends are WAY bigger gore fans than me.

 

[CatGirl]

Not explicit per se, but if the RPer is below 15 I'd feel awkward even making a vague reference to a bed scene. As for gore, even if the kid is into gore, I wouldn't feel comfortable being responsible for exposing him/her to it. He/she can go find it elsewhere.

 

[Onmyoji]

As older roleplayers feel uncomfortable using certain themes with younger roleplayers, also younger roleplayers probably wouldn't feel comfortable interacting with someone much older than them.
I just don't roleplay with people below certain age to save us both from awkward situations.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Not explicit per se, but if the RPer is below 15 I'd feel awkward even making a vague reference to a bed scene. As for gore, even if the kid is into gore, I wouldn't feel comfortable being responsible for exposing him/her to it. He/she can go find it elsewhere.

Ah I see your taking the cut off ages, most of the thread is more talking older teens to early twenties. So like 18-22, and I was thinking you meant maybe 15-17, which is why I was like ???

So I am like, I don’t think 16 year olds in general care about romance at the level we can write it. It’s roughly what you can write for YA. (I would have to double check guidelines by I am pretty sure fade to black is allowed).

I’m thirty and won’t write gore. So I don’t think that guideline is super age based and more generally a personal preference.

That said if you mean fourteen and thirteen year olds I suppose it makes a little more sense. I’m old damn near old enough to be their mom ( double their ages at least) so I don’t roleplay with them for that reason. I don’t have anything like the same interests. I honestly don’t even know what thirteen year olds are into now a days? JPop I think?

 

[rae2nerdy]

As older roleplayers feel uncomfortable using certain themes with younger roleplayers, also younger roleplayers probably wouldn't feel comfortable interacting with someone much older than them.
I just don't roleplay with people below certain age to save us both from awkward situations.

I think the awkwardness in general is related to age range as well. Most teens (16+) I’ve seen are perfectly happy to roleplay with people 25+, which ties into my milestone idea earlier.

They think of older people/characters as more interesting and don’t worry as much about gaps in life experience.

Now once you get to say about 18+ you start to see people put a preference on folks within their own age range.

There are exception, I personally don’t care how old my partners are as long as they don’t expect me to respond too often. But I also don’t write romance as a general rule so I don’t really have to worry about “age-appropriate” content.

That said I can certainly understand people who want to write romance wanting to stick closer to their own age.

I’ve tried writing for instance a single parent uniting with ex storyline (no explicit content more of a rekindling friendship thing) and the teenage partner I had was like bamboozled by my depiction of an adult character in that situation. They had their character acting really immature for her age and I explained why my character (single mom) would not think it was cool.

Totally blew their mind to consider things from an adult perspective.

I mean the roleplay was fine, I think it ended cuz we got busy. But it does showcase how different life points can affect perspectives even outside of “adult themes”.

 

[CatGirl]

Ah I see your taking the cut off ages, most of the thread is more talking older teens to early twenties. So like 18-22, and I was thinking you meant maybe 15-17, which is why I was like ??? So I am like, I don’t think 16 year olds in general care about romance at the level we can write it. It’s roughly what you can write for YA. (I would have to double check guidelines by I am pretty sure fade to black is allowed).

I've witnessed a 20+ gal trying to write a bed scene with a 14 year old, him writing his character running out of the room due to awkwardness, and her taunting him for it afterwards. And yeah I usually fade to black, although before the fade to black I tend to describe emotions with similes in order to avoid it becoming smut.

I’m old damn near old enough to be their mom ( double their ages at least) so I don’t roleplay with them for that reason. I don’t have anything like the same interests. I honestly don’t even know what thirteen year olds are into now a days? JPop I think?

Instagram, slime (don't ask), Roblox, Ariana Grande, Drake etc... I know that because I'm actually a mom of an 'almost' teen.

 

[Idea]

One surprising trend I've noticed is that younger writers actually tend to lean more on gore and sex than older ones (generally speaking), whereas older writers usually aim for more abstract ideas like existencial or psychological horror, themes of more advanced relationship stages (marriages and divorces quite often). There is a general fascination and dare I say naivety to the way less experienced writers approach horror and romance, resulting in a load of horror and sexuality which might disturb the more squirmy but doesn't really have much substance of even visceral appeal to it.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I've witnessed a 20+ gal trying to write a bed scene with a 14 year old, him writing his character running out of the room due to awkwardness, and her taunting him for it afterwards. And yeah I usually fade to black, although before the fade to black I tend to describe emotions with similes in order to avoid it becoming smut.



Instagram, slime (don't ask), Roblox, Ariana Grande, Drake etc... I know that because I'm actually a mom of an 'almost' teen.

Lol yeah this site forbids smut. I think any direct mentions of genitals or bodily fluid at all is a no go.

So like you can say X and Y kissed and went to the bed room, or even flat out X and Y had sex, but that’s fine.

You’d have to ask the Staff specifically how detailed you could get in the - going to bedroom, removing clothes, etc. bit.


Also that 20+ year old seems like the problem in that situation tbh, that is some clear boundary crossing. And they are more than old enough to know better.

...And I think out of that list I only know Arianna Grande cuz she was in Scream Queens and went to Aretha Franklins funeral (and folks had OPINIONS).


I mean I’m not functionally disagreeing with you, I just think it was a misunderstanding the first time around. You and I were thinking different definitions of young, I was thinking my sisters age range (17-18) and you where thinking significantly younger than that.

 

[Onmyoji]

Instagram, slime (don't ask), Roblox, Ariana Grande, Drake etc... I know that because I'm actually a mom of an 'almost' teen.

the only word I understand is Instagram. I guess I have no idea what teens do either. I guess it's a good thing that I prefer to not rp with them ^^'

One surprising trend I've noticed is that younger writers actually tend to lean more on gore and sex than older ones (generally speaking), whereas older writers usually aim for more abstract ideas like existencial or psychological horror, themes of more advanced relationship stages (marriages and divorces quite often).

I very much agree. And that definitely has something to do with the age when people start discovering 'forbidden themes' and usually forbidden fruit is sweet.

 

[rae2nerdy]

the only word I understand is Instagram. I guess I have no idea what teens do either. I guess it's a good thing that I prefer to not rp with them ^^'


I very much agree. And that definitely has something to do with the age when people start discovering 'forbidden themes' and usually forbidden fruit is sweet.

Most definately I think I read more erotica/trashy romance in high school and my early teens than I do now as an adult.

I seriously read my first porn at like 16 I think, a friend of mine let me borrow his book. The plot was some S/M island with a female lead. Learned a lot of words I knew better than to try googling.

And I was reading those ten cent harlequins I almost think at fourteen or so. I don’t remember that far back but it seems about the time I read through all the “kid books” in the library and got started on YA and trashy romance.

My mom was just - eh she’s reading, can’t pay the other one to pick up a magazine.

(To be clear she didn’t know about the porn or erotica, but she did buy me trashy romance books for YEARS that I’m sure some would have seen as age inappropriate)

 

[Onmyoji]

(To be clear she didn’t know about the porn or erotica, but she did buy me trashy romance books for YEARS that I’m sure some would have seen as age inappropriate)

'reading is better than doing' probably. Which is a totally valid attitude. When you're prepared you're aware of what to expect.

 

[rae2nerdy]

'reading is better than doing' probably. Which is a totally valid attitude. When you're prepared you're aware of what to expect.

Well see funny story I actually sat down to map it out and my journey to romance reading did indeed start at fourteen.

Because for some reason I started reading Nora Roberts. At the time I had severe social anxiety and one of her trilogies had a protagonist who also had severe anxiety and panic attacks.

And we discussed it a lot in therapy.

So from there I moved through Nora’s books, then started on Regency novels and Harlequin books.

Eventually I got to “paranormal romance” which led me to Anita Blake, whose later books are soft core porn.

Then moved to a few erotica books and that one porn book.

Oddly enough didn’t read any of them for the sex, mostly skipped over those parts.

Im borderline asexual so the scenes didn’t do much for me

But sure mom was indeed thinking, yeah my best friends kid got pregnant and dropped out of school. Had two kids and pretty much perpetually couch surfing. This one just reads books quietly, I call it a parenting win.

 

[CatGirl]

Do you notice that it's mostly females who come online looking to RP romance as compared to males?
(Sorry, going a bit off topic)

 

[rae2nerdy]

Do you notice that it's mostly females who come online looking to RP romance as compared to males?
(Sorry, going a bit off topic)

Edit - that isn’t surprising romance is marketed at women in pop culture and societally.

Men aren’t taught to value and self-identify with romance in the same way women are.

Not saying it means men can’t like/want romance just that they are inundated with the themes like women.

 

[Onmyoji]

I feel like there are more female roleplayers overall so that also matters when it comes to dominance of romance.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I feel like there are more female roleplayers overall so that also matters when it comes to dominance of romance.

That too, definately more (female player looking for x) than the Reverse.

 

[CatGirl]

Is it a dominating factor for you ladies? Or what is your main focus when you write RP?

 

[rae2nerdy]

Is it a dominating factor for you ladies? Or what is your main focus when you write RP?

Dominating factor societally and pop culture wise? Hell yeah. As a woman who doesn’t put a high value in romance it’s extremely obvious.

As most things that are targeted at “me” (lady in her thirties) include some kind of romance.

Not all, Captain Marvel is a recent exception and I could just about cry in happiness.

But in genera the idea is women “want” to be in a romantic relationship, get married, have babies. 99% of the time pop culture, society, and any media geared directly towards us pushes this narrative.

It’s sloooowly starting to scale back but it’s still pretty prevalent.

Now most women don’t seem to mind, you get used to it if nothing else and ya just accept that is how things are.

But for those of us who don’t fall into the “romance is the most awesome/important thing” demographic than it can be really frustrating.

 

[rae2nerdy]

So for romance, again if you are shown your whole life that the only stories that have value have romance in them than your going to add romance to your roleplays.

If you are taught your sense of self worth comes from romance than you are going to naturally want to write stories that validate romantic feelings for you.

I don’t think this is a conscious decision, it’s really the result of societally training and the prelevance of romance in media geared towards women.

It’s like you aren’t going to notice that the sky is blue most days because you expect it to be. You’ll only notice if for some reason something changes.

Or if your like me and you can’t see the color blue.

 

[CatGirl]

Hm, I don't really see it as society's engineering, but more of a biological preference. Ultimately we're individuals who make up our own mind about what we like and what we don't. I like romance, and I'd like to think I write it quite well, but I don't like it being the sole focus in my story - more of the bonus on top of an engaging and exciting plot. I love good dialogues that bring out the personality of my character. I like complex backgrounds that result in certain life decisions and behavior in my character. This goes back to the downside of RPing with a young person. Someone who hasn't lived to the ripe "older" age like us would not easily see and appreciate details like that.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Hm, I don't really see it as society's engineering, but more of a biological preference. Ultimately we're individuals who make up our own mind about what we like and what we don't. I like romance, and I'd like to think I write it quite well, but I don't like it being the sole focus in my story - more of the bonus on top of an engaging and exciting plot. I love good dialogues that bring out the personality of my character. I like complex backgrounds that result in certain life decisions and behavior in my character. This goes back to the downside of RPing with a young person. Someone who hasn't lived to the ripe "older" age like us would not easily see and appreciate details like that.

Except it’s not a biological preference. I am a biological woman and I have no preference for romance. Nor would any biological woman who was

A. Into different genres of storytelling
B. Asexual
C. Aromantic


Like plenty of biological women don’t prioritize romance. We are just aware that society says we’re supposed to.

Edit- that said the idea that romance is a biological necessity is part of the problem. Romance as we know it is a fairly modern concept. It started I want to say in the 1800s, prior to that the idea of romantic love was seen as foolish and childish. People married for practical or monetary reasons.

So it’s really not a necessity at all it’s just something that society has told us is important.

 

[CatGirl]

As far as I'm aware, you're not obligated to have a preference for romance, nobody does. Nobody should decide for you what you should think, nobody should feel they're being victimized by any external influence. Like I said, you decide for yourself who you are and what you like. I just found it interesting that there's a vast majority of females into romance compared to males, and that's been going on since a long time ago (I've been writing RP since more than 15 years ago). It makes it tough to write romance since most of them request for straight romances, and they want to write their own gender. I've been starting to write male roles so that helps. Most guys tend to like action oriented RP.

Btw when I say biological preference, ofc I'm not trying to stereotype, I'm just stating an observation of what the majority prefer.

 

[rae2nerdy]

As far as I'm aware, you're not obligated to have a preference for romance, nobody does. Nobody should decide for you what you should think, nobody should feel they're being victimized by any external influence. Like I said, you decide for yourself who you are and what you like. I just found it interesting that there's a vast majority of females into romance compared to males, and that's been going on since a long time ago (I've been writing RP since more than 15 years ago). It makes it tough to write romance since most of them request for straight romances, and they want to write their own gender. I've been starting to write male roles so that helps. Most guys tend to like action oriented RP.

Um I literally just explained why in multiple posts. As a woman I think I would know why romance is targeted at my own gender.

I’m not saying all women like romance or even that they should. Again that is addressed in my posts.

I am merely answering your question on why women write romance more than men.

It’s because of gendered expectations in society.

It’s the same reason men like more “action oriented” roleplays. Because that is what THEY are taught to value by society.

Edit : This doesn’t mean every man is forced to like action oriented roleplays, any more than every woman is forced to like romance.

It just means the reason those things tend to be gendered .ie.

Women mostly write romance AND Men mostly write action adventure

Is because society says those interests are tied to those genders

So romance = for girls
Action/adventure = for boys