Fandom Under The Bat's Hood {TallyHoe & Ashman74}

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As he spoke, she listened carefully to his words, her fingers digging into her palms by now. Enough to draw some blood, but she didn't notice. A little blood was nothing anymore. Once he left, she felt her body sink slightly into the seat, putting her hand to her temple and closing her eyes tightly. Another friendship ruined... She wondered if it was even considered friendship. It was the closest she had gotten to someone in a while, and if it was Jason then that was really saying something. Normality would never be something she would be able to have in her life. How could someone hate themselves so much? Disgusted by themselves? Maybe she deserves it... All of it. Maybe she deserved what her thoughts included of Jason. If she was going to act hurt, might as well be actually hurt. Yes, that's all this was. Some dumb act she couldn't pull herself out of. She liked the sound of that. An act. Of course, it was anything but. Hopefully, she could convince herself otherwise.

The rich douche bag. She looked down at the hundred dollar bill on the table and sighed before slowly rising from her seat finally. She hadn't realized she had been sweating. After running a hand through her hair, she decided to walk back home. Not to the Batcave, not to Wayne manor. All she wanted was her own bed. Besides, Bruce would be back soon enough, and who was dumb enough to commit any major crimes the police couldn't handle in the morning? Most criminals liked to sleep in and attack at night. Bruce and Tim could handle it for a few days without her hopefully. She didn't think she would be able to hold back from those monsters on the street in the state she was in. Just a few hours of a break. Only a few hours then she would return. Never again would she let herself get like that again, not when it was someone as important as he had been to her. The only one besides a few doctors that knew what had happened. Now, she wasn't sure what he was feeling about her. Her mind would have her believe that he hated her, but something kept her from fully believing that. Maybe denial. How long had it been since she just laid in her bed, curled up like some child. She was acting like a child with all she had just done.

By that night, Barbara still didn't feel herself. She never did. Still, she knew she still had a duty to Gotham even after tirelessly working for the past few days. It had been an emotional rollercoaster, but walking into the Batcave, she felt numb. Her eyes glanced to Bruce at the computer with Tim training. She remained quiet, already slipping into her suit, putting her glasses on the table with a sigh, running a hand through her hair while she still had her cowl down. It wasn't long before they heard Bruce's voice.

"Amusement park behind the water tower." Was all they heard before the rushing sound of Batman and Robin were heard, making their way to the Batmobile.

"I'll meet you there," Barbara mumbled, pulling the cowl over her head as the Batmobile left. Her eyes narrowed at the computer screen, clearly a camera. A clown, the same deranged one like usual. A hint of red in the corner of the screen and Barbara's heart sank into her stomach before running quickly out of the cave, making her way to the amusement park. She liked making her way through the city alone as Batgirl, it made her feel strong in a way that she never did as Barbara Gordon.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Jason knew what he had to do. Not just for the sake of revenge anymore, though that still played a pivotal role. He didn't bother recovering his helmet from the Batcave. He didn't have time to waste. He started by going to his bunker. Another helmet, his jacket, a pistol, and a crowbar. He was prepping for what he had to do tonight. He took a usual dose of pain killers. As his wounds were starting to hurt again. Using his own personal 'Bat-Computer' he got into Gotham's systems. It's cameras to be specific. Watching the abandoned carnival grounds as he planned. There were several 'goons' there, but it seemed as though they were packing up. Relocating. Good. That'd make life much easier if there was as few bodies between him and the clown as possible. He'd need to save some bullets for what came next.

When it was dusk out he was driving through the streets. Avoiding cars, though traffic slowly came to an end as he left the large part of the city. He went off road, he didn't know when the Bat's and boy wonder would show up. He was sweating. Things could get difficult. He wouldn't be able to take Bruce, not without preparation. So having a kid, and possible Barbara, who he'd hold back against, would guarantee his loss. He had to be quick. In. Do his thing, and out. Like a ghost. The carnival grounds became visible in the distance, which slowly became less and less. Until he was parked right in front of it. Jason wasted no time. His pistol had a suppressor on it, and he could be incredibly quiet. He moved, each time he aimed a body dropped. Bullet going clean into their skulls. He used one and a half clips on them. He was lucky the population of the place had gone down. He had a rough guess of where the Joker was, one that would prove true.

Had Barbara remained watching she would have seen another figure enter the room.

The Clown clearly wasn't happy to see an unrecognized man enter his current hideout, even if it was temporary. "Tell me who you are..." The Joker said, looking up at him. "Or I'll kill you." He was very blunt on the matter. But the figure didn't answer. Instead getting closer and closer. "Do you think I'm kidding?" He asked. Whatever the figure looked like was hidden by his helmet. "No, I'd never think that." The Red Hood said. Grabbing the clown by the wrist before bringing the crowbar down against his skull, once. He brought it against the side of his face, then the other side. Down on his back when he fell, down on both knees. He Broke the clowns arm, knocked a few teeth out, blackened his right eye until it couldn't open, and with one final strike left him unconscious. After this he ditched the crowbar, picking the clown up instead, and heading back to his vehicle.

By the time the Bat's arrived the Carnival was empty, save for the bloody crowbar, and a small puddle of blood near it.

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[sodium]

By the time Barbara was even near the carnival, she received an incoming message from Bruce explaining what he found left of the Joker. Blood and a crowbar. Hearing this caused Barbara to lose balance, stumbling off a roof and into a garbage dumpster to break her fall. Bruce and Tim were going to follow tracks. But she was making her way to the Batcave, moving quickly. The first thing she did was remove the intercom from her own cowl. Then, she picked up the original Red Hood she had specifically modified and hidden from Batman and Robin. Under the GCPD. If she ever needed him, that was where he would be he told her. A part of her would always need him. The second Boy Wonder. One who understood her in a way no one else could no matter how hard they would try.

Before Batman and Robin could somehow manage to track down Jason, though it would take some time, Barbara headed straight for the location. Jason knew the detective skills of Batman well. So well, he could avoid them. But Barbara wasn't Batman or Robin. Even dressed in her suit, she felt more like Barbara Gordon than the strong Batgirl. Still, she continued, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand which was currently finding a way under the GCPD. Bruce wasn't the only one with incredible detective skills. After all, Bruce had taught her all of his detective skills, but she also picked up the rest from the GCPD. Being the daughter of the Commissioner did have it's perks sometimes. These skills were what helped her notice one odd brick that wasn't secure in the wall. She carefully pushed it in, stepping back as the wall opened to reveal a staircase.

For once, she didn't hesitate before doing something. Instead, she headed straight down once she was sure the wall was closing behind her. Bruce wouldn't know how to handle this. Hell, maybe he did for all she knew. But it wouldn't be good, wouldn't end well. Like Jason said, she was the gentler one when it was called for. Someone committing a crime who was alone, lost, afraid... She knew how it felt. Bruce had seemed to forget that feeling. She could recognize it easily by now. Jason was an example of that, otherwise, she would have had no problem explaining it all to Bruce.

"Red Hood," She called out, stepping on the ground after the last step and was completely taken aback by her surroundings. Being careful not to call out his real name, 'Red Hood' seemed like the next best thing. In her hand was the original Red Hood in all its glory. Fixed and adjusted to Jason Todd. Half of her mind was desperate to try and block out all the nightmares she had that had turned from the clown prince to the Red Hood. All the overthinking she had done of every word he spoke, every action he made towards her. The other half, was trying to take over. The half of her that was terrified of something happening to her again.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Jason hadn't brought him to the bunker. The Joker being in his home was not an appealing concept. The Joker was in one of Gotham many abandoned buildings only this one was filled to the brim with explosives. Just waiting to purge the clown from existence. That said. Jason was there. "He's not here, Barbara." He said. Sitting in the chair in front of his own personal computer. He didn't turn around. His hands were resting on his keyboard. Several images up on the computer, though they held little relevance to the situation a hand. "I know you're here for 'him'. I have no intention on telling you where I put him."

Finally, he turned. Leaning forward. "Go home. Relax. By next week the Clown will be dead. He won't be able to hurt you again." He let his fingers meet one another, both hands together. "You're not going to though. Are you." His head shook, then he turned back to the Computer. "You can take the Batman route and beat me to an inch of my life if you think that'll work. It won't." He sighed. "Please, just go home, Barbie." He requested, again. Typing on the large keyboard, not looking at her, yet again.

**


Bruce was investigating the carnival. Looking for anything he could use to locate the Joker. He winced at the sight of a bloody crowbar. That brought bad memories. Ones he'd tried to bury long ago. But moving on was far from the Bats strong area. Seeing what caused him to become what he was.

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(Super sorry for the shortness, I couldn't think of much to write.)

 

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With a small sigh, she moved towards him, carefully placing the Red Hood she had altered for him on the desk in front of him. Then, she moved to pull down her cowl, rubbing her arms slightly and taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry about earlier..." She mumbled, unable to look at him, clearly hesitant to bring up the situation from the diner. "Even if you kill him, it won't erase his damage. There will always be someone to live up to him." She explained carefully, glancing at the computer screen. Once again, she found herself in an unlikely position, practically pleading for Joker's life. In reality, she was pleading for Jason's sanity. There was a reason she didn't kill. She wasn't sure of Bruce's reason or Dick's reason.

"If you kill him, you won't be able to pull yourself back out from that path. It's hard. Please, don't waste your time and breath letting him win." She explained to him, now watching him as she wrung her gloved fingers. For a few more moments, she was silent, just staring at him. The scruff on his chin, the scar on his cheek. Most likely from the Joker's crowbar. A part of her was still scared of Jason, the same part that was scared of anyone she was even remotely close to. But she ignored that fear. This was much more important. "There's not a day that goes by where I don't want to bash his deranged brains out, but it's too easy. I know I won't be able to ever be myself again. Worse than I am now. I'd be a killer, another killer in Gotham. Just what he wants." She explained, moving to carefully place her hand on his forearm as she squatted down to be more at his level in the chair. "Don't let him ruin you."

**

Tim approached, gently placing a hand on Batman's shoulder as he glanced down at the bloody crowbar, sighing a bit. Jason Todd. The second Robin. It had taken months for Bruce to stop accidentally calling Tim by Jason. But he knew Bruce never fully got over it. Wouldn't let himself. "There's no tracks. Nothing left behind but this." He explained before crouching down to examine the crowbar closely. A crowbar and Joker never meant good news.

"Do you think he attacked someone?" He asked, now examining the blood. It was clearly still fresh. "We hadn't taken that long to get here."

(No worries at all! )

 

[Ashman74]

Jason sighed. "The whole argument is based around not becoming a killer." He reminded her. "Do you I need to remind you of the fact I crossed that line a long time ago?" He turned around again. "I've been going down that path for months now, Barbie. I ruined myself. The night I threw a serial rapist to his death." He told her, a frown on his face. He looked at the hand on his forearm and sighed. "You and Bruce aren't capable of understanding this. Not everyone can be fixed. Some people need to be put in the ground. Because there isn't another solution. Especially in Gotham. "Do you think I enjoy being the only person who understands this? Being the only one here willing to do it?" He sighed, resting his head in his hands, palms covering his eyes.

"I don't expect you to ever understand. I don't think you're even capable of it." He unknowingly dug his fingernails into his own forehead. "But then again, you were trained by someone who's gone out of his way to save the Joker. Even when he himself didn't put the clown in harms way." Jason moved his hands away from his face. "Frankly, you all enable them to keep going." His jaw tensed. He was getting sick of this city. Sick of everyone in it, good and bad. He was starting to see that the city deserved itself. "How many of those scumbags have you gone out of your way to save, Barbara? I can already put the Joker on the list."

**

Bruce took the crowbar from Tim's grasp, looking it over. "Send a sample of the blood to Alfred." If they could find out who was on the receiving end of the crowbar then they might have a lead. He continued looking around the room. Blood on the floor, blood on the walls, even a few spots on the ceiling.

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[sodium]

Her eyes remained glued onto him, moving her gentle hand from his arm to his back when he buried his face in his hands. "I understand more than you know." She mumbled a bit, looking away from him. "It was my first night back as Batgirl. A night of patrol. Batman had one part of Gotham, I had the other. In an alleyway, there was this man, laughing as he forced this woman." Her words were starting to go quiet, still unable to look at him. "All I saw was that clown. I killed him with a rock. The woman took the blame for the murder as 'self-defense'. I never told anyone, afraid that they might look at me even more differently than they do now." A long sigh escaped her lips, not realizing she was slowly and soothingly rubbing his back with her hand. "It felt... Right. Imagining it was him I was killing. It felt too nice. I couldn't stand myself." She added, finally looking back at him. Her gaze was gentle and still a bit hesitant to look at him, to have his attention.

"I know you've taken a good amount of lives. None of them deserved it more than the Joker. I know. Since I returned as Batgirl, I haven't gone out of my way to save any of them. If they die, they die. But I won't intentionally put them in the ground." She explained, carefully pulling her hand away before standing up. Another sigh escaped her lips, rubbing her temple. "If you kill him, you let him have the easy way out. I don't want him to just be finished. I want him to have a life of torture and torment, paranoid of every person near him, afraid they might hurt him, force him, always afraid. I want him to suffer. Death is too good for him." Her words were clear and mostly simple. But most of all, they were true. The Joker deserved nothing less than the worst. And death wasn't near that.

She remained quiet, arms lightly folded over her chest as she looked down at the floor. "I want him to go through everything he put me through, put you through, put everyone through. And when he's pleading for death, I'll only bring him just an inch away from it." It was violent, but it was what he deserved. "Some people deserve death. Like that rapist, you pushed. Some deserve worse than death."

**

Tim nodded and was quick to take a sample before the dynamic duo returned to the Batcave, awaiting the results to the sample. Only one match. The Joker. Her narrowed his eyes, frowning before looking back at Bruce. "Maybe he cut himself of something while attacking? We must have gotten his blood." It sounded ridiculous. Someone purposefully going after the mad man, to beat him, to take him. It was quite the thought.

 

[Ashman74]

Jason shook his head. "Funny. You don't even know how to kill the Joker properly." He told her. "Granted, I have no intention of doing it that way, because I have uses for him." He heard her go on about wanting to make him suffer. Seemingly unphased, or simply not caring, about the fact she'd just admitted she took a life. "That sort of thing, it's what he wants. Shooting him in the back of the head, out in the middle of nowhere, with you being the only one to know what happened." He stood up. "That would be the proper way of doing it. Maybe even telling him that it was someone else who made you cross the line. You send him off to hell as a failure, if you really want to torture him. Pain, it means nothing to his type. Because he'll know he's responsible for all the effort. But killing him like an average no named thug..." Jason turned his back to her. Not bothering to continue. He leaned against the computer, hands on the smooth portion of it. He considered just doing it. Blow up the explosives. Screw making Bruce cross the line. Screw Gotham itself. He finally asked himself one simple question. Why bother coming back? Not to life, he didn't really get a say in that, but to this god forsaken city. But he didn't activate the detonator. Because he knew the moment he did, his purpose, the thing driving him, would be gone. Maybe that's why Bruce keeps him around. He thought. Though it wasn't the Joker himself that was Jason's motivation, but the fact he was a key in breaking Bruce, which ever since he'd been training had become his goal.

"I don't know why we're still talking." He said, speaking again after a short time. "In a moment of anger you killed someone, big deal. Watch the news. Happens all the time." My first kill was because of that.

**

Bruce sent samples of the other blood stains to Alfred, each came back the same. It was all the Jokers. There were no fingerprints on the crowbar. Which was rather hindering. They'd find out who did this. It might take time however. But they'd do it. Bruce was silent while Tim spoke. Something about the particular choice of blunt object felt...Off.

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[sodium]

"Jason..." She shook her head slightly, rubbing her temple. "I don't think there's any win or lose with him. Kill him, he wins, keep him alive, he wins. He doesn't care either way. Don't do something stupid like this." Her words were stern as she now stood in front of him as he leaned against the desk. "Letting him rot away, knowing he had done nothing to leave any kind of mark... He doesn't deserve to get off easy. It's only a moment of satisfaction, one look in his eyes knowing he had failed compared to the rest of his life of it." All the suffering he had caused, Barbara wanted to make sure he received it back. Now wasn't the time for it. There was a specific cell in Arkham awaiting the Joker. A cell all by it's lonesome in a separate wing where no sunlight came in. So many locks and doors were being set up even as they spoke.

All of this was so frustrating. So exhausting. "Give it some time. Just a little more. I'll take him to Arkham where there's a new cell made specifically to hold him in. Not even someone trying to break him out would get through." Her voice was a bit shaky as she took just a small step away from him. "If he manages to get out again, then you can do whatever you want with him. No interference from me, from Bruce, from anybody." No, not now, not again. Another hesitant step back, keeping her eyes on him, fighting to keep her stern gaze. She wondered if he ever had the same thoughts, thinking about pursuing them on her. Another step back. Even talking about the menace was enough to do this to her. From now on, she would make sure to focus solely on forgetting all of it by any means necessary.

Had he thought in detail what the Joker had done that night? Did he even care enough to give it any thought? Most likely not. He hated her. Of course he did. She wasn't stupid enough to not realize that. "Please, try this." She pleaded quietly, swallowing hard as her hands clenched into fists at her side, her body becoming tense. All she wanted was to walk away. To forget about everything, to forget about herself, about Batgirl. All of it. What other option did she have anymore? A few strands of auburn hair had now fallen into her face. One that was now always stained with tears, puffy eyes that she had usually been able to conceal with glasses or a cowl.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Jason sighed as his head shook again. "We both know he'll end up getting out. We both know that he's made more of a mark on this city then any of us." He turned to her. "You're a prime example of that. So am I." He looked back to the computer. "I'd rather not let him live to change himself from a failure." He turned, sitting down on on the 'counter'. "But keep telling yourself that locking him away is the right option." He put a hand in his pocket, pulling out a detonator. Eyeing it. Rubbing the button which could put an end to the clown at that very moment. Thinking. Then he placed it down. Gritting his teeth. He knew he should press it. End it, right now. Leave nothing left of the Clown to recognize. He let it drop to the floor. A part of him hoped it would have landed on the button, it would have been rather funny thinking about it.

He stood up again, taking a step towards her. "I can understand you, but if you really Bruce will stay on the sidelines then I'm pretty sure you've taken a bad blow to the head." He said, smirking slightly. "Like, worse than the seven I took." It was seven, right? It was hard to keep track when you were getting brain damage from a crowbar. He took note of the fact she'd taken several steps away from him. Probably expecting a violent outburst. Not exactly something he could blame her for. He was completely unaware of the actual reason of course. He'd been able to put together the fact that what the Joker did still had a huge impact, but not to this degree. Nor did he suspect.

When he'd managed to close the distance he stopped moving, looking the woman right in the eyes. "Fine." He watched her body tense up, her fists clench. Am I really that ugly? He thought, not saying it out loud, because to anyone with half a brain it was clear that wasn't the reason. He reached out, grabbing one of her arms by the wrist. "There's one thing though, and if everything else I've done didn't warrant a punch, well, this probably will." He pulled her closer to him. Damn it Jason, you've wanted to do this for how long now? He asked himself mentally, now tensing up himself. Well, that made things sufficiently awkward at this point. Under the assumption that it wasn't just that already.

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[sodium]

The more he moved towards her he more she wanted to step away. But she didn't. She couldn't. Instead, something was bringing her closer to him. Soon enough, she realized it was his hand on her wrist. Before he could go any further she tried to tug her hand away, but his grip was tight and she was getting overwhelmed with her thoughts. All those thoughts of him doing just what that clown did to her, doing worse. It all felt like it was coming true. She kept her eyes glued to his. It took everything she had just to keep a firm, strong gaze on him instead of something fearful. How could she not be terrified though? But she could play it off as if she wasn't. "Let go," Her words were spoken simply, without any shake or waver in her voice while staring at him. By now, their bodies were only mere centimeters apart, and she had to tilt her head up a bit to stare at him. She remembered the days when it was the short boy who would look up at her.

Once again, her hand moved to try and pull out of his grip, but it was unsuccessful. Instead, she received the collision of their lips. Her body tensed up completely now, a small hitch in her breath, trying her best to keep her eyes open. It was hard not to simply melt into the touch, not to just give in. She wanted to believe that the kiss was all he meant, all he wanted. Her mind wouldn't let her believe that not at all. Not when she had previously been so fearful of what he would do, what he could do. She stood frozen, afraid to even move the slightest. So much that she refused to even let herself breathe. "I'm sorry," The moment she managed to pluck up the strength to pull her lips away from his, those were her first words. "Please... I'm sorry, I shouldn't... I didn't..." She was flustered. And it was more than just some kind of flirtatious fluster. She was scared. Scared of Jason. Actually, genuinely scared of him for once. Before, she had been scared of what he could do.

It hadn't been this bad since the hospital that night when she was fighting off doctors coming near her, even without her legs. How many times had she managed to beat people up as well as Batgirl had as Oracle? It was an amusing thought, one that often brought her pride. There felt like a ton of bricks on her chest, no, a dozen tons. She couldn't breathe and everything was spinning. Her hands were moving to hit him quickly, her breathing heavy as she closed her eyes tightly. Everything was alright. Nothing was wrong. Everything was fine. Still, she continued to plummet her fists to his chest, letting out her first sob. The first sob she had let out in front of anybody since that night. "Get away!" She cried out, hanging her head slightly, keeping her eyes closed tightly in an attempt to hold back any tears.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Why did you pick now of all times to decide to do it!? Jason mentally screamed at himself. He probably shouldn't have done it at. Kept the thought buried in the back of his mind like he did as a kid. The word stupid repeatedly went through his mind, directed at himself. He hated his stupidity at that moment. Hated his actions. He knew her mental state, it obviously wouldn't have ended well, and if it had all he'd be doing was taking advantage of her. He felt like a scumbag. Maybe someone would come along and shoot him so he wouldn'thave to think about it anymore. He wasn't that lucky. He took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at his feet.

"N-no. It was my fault." Did he really just stutter? It wasn't like this was the first time he'd kissed someone. Though it was just as bad. Just as wrong. Granted, he hadn't been the instigator of it, but now he was. He hated himself for it. Several of his previous thoughts ran through his mind. Scum. Pathetic. Disgusting. By God he really was a villain. He winced when she yelled at him, and did as she said. Several steps back. She reminded him of a cornered animal, and as someone who been in that position many times, he knew how dangerous she could be. Plus he should probably be a far away from her as possible. The strikes she'd delivered to your chest hurt. Like hell. But he didn't retaliate. He'd promised he wouldn't hurt her, and though he might have just done it mentally, and probably emotionally, he wouldn't do it physically. Never again. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He said, letting some of his thoughts take verbal form. He could see what he caused much clearer now that he had some distance from her. He hated himself ten times more how. He turned, keeping his anger at himself in check. Just in case the possibility of making things worse existed. He pressed his palms to his forehead. Both were hot, and his palms were incredibly sweaty.


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[sodium]

Once he had backed away, she had sunk to her knees on the floor, her hands tightly grasping her hair as she heaved. Her entire body shook with shaky breaths. Her eyes remained closed as she trembled. At least he wasn't continuing, not at the moment at least. Barbara Gordon needed to pull herself together. But forcing her to be better wasn't working. She couldn't act like everything was fine while she was hyperventilating on the floor. His words didn't go to waste. She listened to them, analyzed them. The stutter. The apology, his soft voice instead of rough and violent. Reluctantly, she finally opened her eyes, feeling a stray tear manage to escape her when she looked up at him. Her arms had wrapped tightly around herself, staring up at him while still heaving. Maybe, just maybe, someone didn't intend to harm her. Not the way she thought. If it had been his intentions, he wouldn't be far away from her.

"You're not him..." The words were more towards herself than to him. Jason Todd. After all, he had done, she still let herself act like this in front of him. After he helped her that night the Joker took the citizens and her father, after he saved that child after he let her just hold him that night... How could she still be so afraid of even the smallest contact? She was disgusted with herself. "I'm sorry," She murmured, her voice still shaking. Lord, she was still just as pathetic as ever. No one had ever seen her this weak before. No one had seen the effects of that night on her. She wanted to be okay, to let other's believe she wasn't affected. Trying to force it all away only worked for so long.

Even after some time, she was still taking shaky breaths, just sitting on the floor, staring at the ground. It would have been nice. She could have enjoyed the sweet kiss, let herself just melt into his hold for once. How long had it been since she had felt such affection? The last time was with Dick who had been a victim to the same thing Jason was now. They ended it all the next night. "I didn't mean to... It's not your fault, I'm sorry." She swallowed hard, slowly moving a hand through her hair while breathing heavily, her body still tense yet trembling slightly.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Jason refused to look in her direction. He didn't deserve to. Couldn't bring himself to see what he had caused. A rare that. He could normally take pride in seemingly breaking someone. But Barbara wasn't some street thug. Not a drug dealer, not a Criminal. She wasn't a murderer, though he wasn't sure if she'd believe that, she was a good person who'd been through things Jason would only wish on his worst enemy. Somewhat funny considering it was that very person who was responsible. He bit his inner cheek, opening a wound which had barely healed over, feeling warm blood againsthis tongue.

He finally turned when she spoke. Though remained at a distance. He watched her. More self hatred. He could barely hear her words. But he did. "No. You have no reason to be." He told her, kneeling down. Now she reminded him of a wounded animal. He felt like the hunter who pulled the trigger, but couldn't bring himself to finish the animal off. Instead leaving it in agony until it died. A coward. A scumbag. A pathetic excuse for a human being.

Over time he made his way closer to her. Not wanting to make things worse, assuming he could. He hoped he could. Not because he wanted to. But because it's mean he hadn't screwed up as badly as he thought he did. "You don't have a reason to he sorry." He said again, not making eye contact. Another thing he didn't deserve to do. He moved closer, within arm's reach, but didn't make any contact with her. Out of fear of making the situation worse.

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[sodium]

"I have everything to be sorry for..." Her words remained quiet and shaky as she looked at him, trying to keep any more stray tears away from escaping. He shouldn't have to be forced to deal with her like this. If she just stayed away, left him to his own devices. Something was always bringing her back to him. Ever since she found he was alive, she didn't want to leave him to never see him again. He was really beating himself up over this. Maybe even more than she was. She could tell. Another skill she had managed to acquire while as Oracle. Reading people. He wasn't making eye contact with her, wasn't even looking at her. God, she really screwed things up. A part of her was sure it was easier if she just... Let him. Let him continue and remained silent, deal with it all later when she was alone just like she did any other night.

Clearly hesitant, Barbara gently reached a gloved hand out to his, another shaky breath as she took the other as well. He was no longer the little Robin by Batman's side. Even his hands were now bigger than her's. "You didn't do any of this, I should control myself more... I'm sorry." A few moments later after her quiet words, she moved one of her hands to his chin, carefully moving to have him look at her. She could only imagine how terrible she looked. Maybe almost as bad as she felt for doing this to him. He had already been through enough, she wasn't helping. It was selfish of her. The difference between an injured animal left to die and Barbara at the moment was that she would eventually build her strength back up. Long enough until she had another outburst, hopefully, while alone. She didn't need the word getting out of how she was acting. If she had been normal, just some girl who hadn't been a victim of a deranged clown, she would have enjoyed the kiss.

Tears were silently making their way down her cheeks still, she gave up trying to force them away. Everything had become about force with her. Forcing herself to her limits, forcing herself to hide away. It was too tempting with Jason, she didn't have to force things away. Maybe that was why she kept after him, making sure he wouldn't eventually fall into the same state she was. She wouldn't be able to live with herself. Her eyes remained on his now while she continued to take deep breaths, blinking a few times, tears in her eyelashes. "It felt nice."

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Jason didn't pay much attention. To focused on self loathing. He cared about Barbara, as more then just a big sister, and to know what he caused...Sure, it was no where near about what the Joker did. But it ate him inside. Tearing his heart apart at a molecular level...Well, not that extreme. His vision went blurry, on account of not blinking. Apparently beating yourself up took precedence over moistening eyeballs. With the relative silence in the room his breathing was also quite audible. His hand went to the back of his neck again, rubbing it. But when he felt something on his hand his focus went away from himself.

"You shouldn't have to be in a place where something like that can be terrifying." He told her, feeling hand on his chin. He didn't resist as she lifted his head, and he managed to hide the frown which threatened to form on his face at the sight of her. Knowing that he was partly responsible, if not primarily. He extended one of his hands, resting it against one of her cheeks, for once it wasn't gloved. Unlike hers his hands were incredibly rough. Scarred from nights of punching without the proper protection they had. He still had bandages around his knuckles from a few nights before. He finally looked her in the eyes, and forced a smirk to form on his face.

"I guess I'm pretty good for it only being my second time." He said. He brushed away some of the tears the moved near the hand he had resting on her. He watched her blink, breath, unsure of what to think, what to say. "You'd better not be lying to make me feel better." He said, putting on a somewhat teasing tone. The joke that followed was probably in bad taste, all things considered. "I have the emotional stability of a sixteen year old girl."

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[sodium]

"I think I had more emotional stability when I was a sixteen-year-old girl than I do now." The return to his tease was still spoken quietly with a shaky voice, but she did give him a flicker of a smile. Purposefully, she ignored his first comment. No, she didn't believe she deserved to be in a position where something like that was so terrifying. It sucked, to say the least. Unlike Dick, Jason seemed... Patient with her. That was quite the statement considering who she was talking about. Who would have thought? At the raw touch of his fingers, she couldn't help but tilt her head gently into the touch. It was so warm and soft, how could she not now that she was calmed. Now that she was almost fully sure she had gotten it through her thick head that he wouldn't hurt her. At least not like the clown. Her hand held tightly onto his as if she was afraid to let go.

The idea of having anything serious between them was non-existent for her. If anything, she needed time. More time than she had already had to heal from that night, to focus on it instead of ignoring it. After her last relationship, she was reluctant to let herself in another. But that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy this, let herself finally enjoy another's company, just for a little bit. "Is this more than just the mandatory 'Robin having a thing for Batgirl'?" She asked, her own small tease as she carefully moved her body closer to his, moving to gently take his other hand into her own. Her grip on them was tight as she brought them to her hips, feeling her breath hitch in her throat for a moment before calming down, looking up at him the entire time, making sure she knew it was Jason. Just Jason.

"I'm sorry that I keep putting you through this... If I could just let go of it, I would. I've been trying to force it away for years. I'm sorry." She whispered to him, slowly removing her hands from his on her waist before moving to hold his face. "I don't want to ruin another friendship because of him, I won't let him."

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

Jason couldn't help but change his forced smirk to a genuine smile when he felt her head tilt into his hand. "Maybe. But if you were sixteen what I'd just done would be incredibly creepy." He said. His poor quality jokes already making a return. "I think I like adult Barbara more, anyway." He added on. "She's got the whole 'Hot Librarian' thing going." His joke was a bit more flirtatious in nature now, probably a bad decision. But not one ever said he was good at those, and history showed he was quite bad at them. He began thinking, he'd probably done more damage tonight then he'd fixed. He wanted to change that. Her own teasing drew his attention back to reality. He looked upwards, as though deeply pondering her question. He already knew the answer. "I think it's delving into the cliche territory of Jock and Nerd." He told her, cringing slightly at the fact he'd actually referred to himself as a 'Jock'. He was never going to do that again, he'd rather the Joker kill him a second time.

His hand was removed from her cheek as she took it with her free one, he didn't even notice she moved closer to him for a few seconds. He nodded at what she was saying. He knew how hard letting go was. "Maybe you need stop trying to do it on your own." He suggested to her. "I know that's a bit ironic coming from me. But it's true." He went from kneeling to sitting cross legged, far more comfortable and less painful on his knees. "I'm here, Alfred is, hell, in his own weird way I bet Bruce would be there for you." He intentionally left Dick out of the question, he didn't know what happened between them, but he felt as though he were someone who probably wouldn't help much. He felt her hands against his face, far softer then his own. "I wont let him ruin it either. Maybe I'll use my brain for once. So I don't ruin things in my own way."

sodium

 

[sodium]

Her hands remained on his cheeks, a small smile now on her lips that held a nice rosy color, the same her cheeks held after a good run. "Oh God, don't ever refer to yourself as a jock again. Doesn't fit you. If anything you're one of those cliche bad boys in the movies that all the girls fall for. Except the one girl he does like, isn't interested. So, by the end of the movie, he manages to catch her interest " She continued to tease a bit, making sure they remained close. For once, she was able to find comfort in another's touch, in his warmth, his hands. "Except, you know, you're a little more extreme than those high school bad boys in the movies." Her smile remained as she looked at him Eventually, she found herself slowly leaning towards him until her lips met his. This time, it didn't feel violent or harmful. It wasn't malicious or rough. It was gentle and slow. The two things Barbara had never allowed herself to have.

Jason was right. It was time for her to let other's in for once instead of pushing them away with anger. By the time she pulled away, she took a deep breath, still smiling gently at him. Slowly, she moved to wrap her arms around him, letting her body lean on his now as she let herself relax. "And you don't either." She pointed out, her head resting on his shoulder. "I'm here for you. And when you're ready, if you're ready, so is Bruce and Dick in their own ways. You know Alfred would do anything for you too. You're still part of the family, whether you like it or not." With that, she moved to gently place a soft kiss on his cheek, letting her eyes fully take in his features. He was tired. Well, he certainly looked it at least. How had she not noticed the streak of white in his hair? Most likely from shock. Her heart ached for him. He didn't deserve all that pain.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

"Trust me Barbie, I won't. I died a bit inside when I did." Jason said, he never intended to even use the word again. "So, how many more kids do I have to save to get the girls interest?" He joked. "Or is it her dad I have to rescue instead?" He asked after. "What? I thought all highschool kids spent their nights beating up Criminals, and shooting the hell out of them." He feigned surprised, letting out an overly dramatic gasp. When she began to lean towards him he responded in kind, wrapping his arms around her. He couldn't help but smile Against her lips once they met. Fifteen year old Jason had no idea what he was missing out on. One of his hands moved up her back to rest against the back of her neck.

When she pulled away he took several breaths of his own. "I think I'll pass on Dick. Wasn't a fan of him before I died." He told her, smirking again. "On that subject, you sure you should be kissing a zombie?" He asked her. "I mean, I was buried underground for over a year. Who knows what parasites I might have." He moved one of his hands to rest on the back of her head when she leaned against him. One of his eyebrows was raised as he watched her look him over. "Do I meet your standards?" He inquired. Rubbing the inner side of his mouth against one of his canine teeth. "I know I'm pretty damn ugly..." He winked at her when he said that. "Hopefully my personality makes up for that."

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[sodium]

As he moved his hand over her, she didn't flinch, she didn't cry or anything. Instead, she took a deep breath, enjoying the gentle touches he was offering to her. Her Dad had been saved enough times for a lifetime. "Do you want me to stop with the kisses?" She challenged, raising an eyebrow as she smiled. Already, her lips were moving to lightly brush against his again. "You do kind or smell like dirt." Another tease, another joyful grin as she finally allowed someone to just hold her. "But like you said, your personality make up for it. And your looks. It's not every day a girl manages to find someone to kiss that's come back from the dead and still have a jawline for days." Her hand moved to brush against his jaw. Eventually, their 'perfect' moment would come to an end. But she tried to ignore it for as long as she could.

"We should... Um, we should, before Bruce figures out..." She couldn't even say what she needed him to do, what she needed him to tell her. The location of the deranged clown to take him into Arkham. Slowly, and reluctantly, she moved to sit up from his arms, sighing. Ashamed, she kept her head down a bit. It felt like she was leaving him forever as if she was never going to see him again as if he wouldn't ever want to see her again. There was a slight panic in the idea of trusting him. She didn't know when she would see him again if she would see him again. But she needed him more than ever. He understood what the other's didn't. No one had felt the Joker's wrath more than them while the other's watched from the sidelines. He understood. Still reluctant, she slowly moved to her feet, moving to put her hands on her hips where the ghosts of his own hands had been.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

"I don't think my answer will ever be no." Jason told her. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah? Well you smell like..." He made sure the sound of him sniffing wash heard. Then his eyes narrowed even more "...God damn it." He said, not finding anything to retaliate with. "What can I say? I'm special, and not in the 'Rides on a shorter then usual bus' type of way." He didn't realize how big of a step this really was for the woman in front of him. Primarily because he was focusing on how big of a step it was for him, not even close to how much it was for her obviously. But it was big, and that was ignoring the fact it was with Barbara Gordon of all people. He ignored the fact he'd gone from one of Bruces ex's to one of Dick's. That looked really bad when looked at from an outsiders point of view.

"Yeah...That's a good idea." He agreed, taking out his cellphone and opening google maps. He held it out to her. "You should probably take the detonator. I might be tempted while you're gone." He said, holding it out to her afterwards as well. Grip tight on it. His reasoning for wanting to blow the clown up now wasn't out of revenge, but the chance he could do something to Barbara when she went to get him. Eventually his grip around it loosened, and it was actually possible to remove it from his grasp. "Come back in one piece, or just stay in one piece no matter where you go when you're done." He told her. "If you die I'll never talk to you again." He added on afterwards, literally one of the stupidest threats a human being could ever make. "Scratch that, I'll throw you in the Lazarus pit. Then make fun of you because a white streak in red hair would look horrible."

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[sodium]

Her eyes quickly scanned the map he showed her and nodded slightly. Quietly, she pulled the cowl back over her head. There was a hesitance she had when she took the detonator as if she didn't fully trust herself not to push it either. A smile soon returned to her lips as she listened to him, a playful roll of her eyes before she stepped towards him to wrap her arms around him once more. "I think I could pull off the white streak. Better than you at least." She teased a bit before finally pulling back and inhaling deeply and pulling away. "Find me afterward... I'm not done making fun of you smelling like dirt." Another quick kiss to his cheek before she moved quickly to leave for the location.

It felt nice to act like everything was okay. To act like she could have a normal relationship with another person. There was nothing normal about the whole situation, of course. Not at all. Approaching the location, Batgirl was cautious, knowing the Joker was awake due to the voice of him talking to himself. She would have to be quick. And quick she was. Despite the clown attempting to talk his way out of things, he was blindfolded, assuming he was talking to the Red Hood. Jason would have easily beat the Joker to an inch of death if he heard any of this. Once he was unconscious, she made a quick drop off at Arkham, making sure to give them specific directions. "More than two guards on duty at all times with him. Gas masks, all that fun stuff. Keep him in the straight jacket and don't open the door for anything. Remember, he had no power in there." Her words were stern to the Arkham officials.

After all that, all she wanted to do was go home, sleep if she was lucky. Forget about even looking at that clown. She wasn't interested in some interrogation from Bruce about how she knew where he was, why she didn't communicate. All the same.

Ashman74

 

[Ashman74]

"Guess I'll have to find something to make fun of you for." Jason told her, prior to receiving a peck on the cheek. After she left he decided to deal with a few problems he had. While his plan for the Joker was gone, for now at least, he still had a few other things to attend to. Primarily Black Mask. Jason walked back to his computer. While he had access to many of Gotham's security cameras, he had to set up a few of his own. One in particular was set near the bridge people often used when coming from Bludhaven. He went over what it had recorded during everything with Barbara. A particular moving truck, one he was waiting for, had come by ten minutes ago. "Sonofa..." He said. Grabbing one of his helmets, he wasn't sure if Barbara had brought the one she'd worked on, and if she had he himself had zero idea where it was.

Twenty minutes later he was racing down the street on his motorcycle. This wasn't the only truck, but Sionis was using his head. Move several through the city. Jason wondered how many of them actually had weapons inside of them. He used only one hand to steer, the other holding a lit Molotov cocktail. When he pulled up beside the truck he smirked, the drivers seat window was open. He threw the flaming bottle inside and quickly steered away, just in case it came towards him. Being hit by a flaming truck was not appealing, at all. This whole thing was risky now. With Bruce back in town. But he managed to avoid his attention that night. Getting home four hours after the first truck was dealt with. Leaving a grand total of six smoldering husks of a vehicle around Gotham for the GCPD to deal with in the morning.

sodium

 

[sodium]

In the morning, the scenes of the trucks had GCPD around it. Even Batman and Robin were investigating. Barbara knew too well of the situation, even from her desk at the Gotham Library, smiling slightly to herself. At least there was a good news website for Gotham, set up by your's truly. No one down at GCPD knew how to do anything advanced when it came to a computer. But, there were a few trusted news reporters who were able to update the site constantly for a good wage. Good to keep Gotham updated. It was a Sunday, not many people came in the Library on Sunday morning. Except for maybe a few kids, and a good amount of elders who were friendly. For once, Barbara felt content as Barbara. The Joker was, as far as she knew, in the highest security he had ever been, away from the streets, away from her. And even after hours, she could still feel the gentle touch of Jason he had given her the night before.

"Get 'em Red Hood..." She murmured softly to herself as she watched the broadcast, glasses on the bridge of her nose and red hair piled in a bun on top of her head. Black mask. A famous drug lord in Gotham and Bludhaven. Jason was getting himself in a drug war... God, what had she gotten herself into with him? At least he was honest, he was taking care of crime just... In the wrong way. But none of those truck which had surely been full of drugs and weaponry wouldn't make it into the wrong hands. Batman and Robin were on the scene while Batgirl took a little vacation for the day. She had neglected herself for so long, especially while they had been away. Gotham was a handful. Food and sleep had become a luxury for her body which she had tried to deprive it from.

Ashman74