JayTee
Eight Thousand Club
That's just what he wanted you to think!Bromsy said:
Things you would only say in an RPG
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gatherer818
One Thousand Club
I've had several, but I think "I want to start a religion... based around smoking pot.... and then I can be the 'high' priest!" might be my favorite. I'll try to keep an eye for the best of the best when I meet with my players 
Lady Jane
Senior Member
"Well, then I would shoot an anti-planet arrow!"
(In a tabletop Shadowrun game)
"Use your levitation to throw the troll into the back of the van, so he can get the goods and we can get out of here."
"The van's moving at ninety miles an hour!"
"Thats why we have to do it now!"
To my credit, the plan worked xD
(In a tabletop Shadowrun game)
"Use your levitation to throw the troll into the back of the van, so he can get the goods and we can get out of here."
"The van's moving at ninety miles an hour!"
"Thats why we have to do it now!"
To my credit, the plan worked xD
JayTee
Eight Thousand Club
This one requires a bit of setup, but here goes:
It was the start of an Exalted game with a GM who was running it for the first time. He started off things high, with a zombie hoard attacking the city (chiaroscuro, I think?). I'm pretty sure he intended it to be a horror game, but the problem is that even a starting Solar halfway invested in combat charms finds zombies to be a trivial opponent. This lead to my Zenith singlehandedly annihilating a zombie hoard that had taken over roughly two thirds of the city.
The GM realizes that he needs to challenge us in ways other than physical combat, so he sets us up in the middle of the post-infestation intrigue. Apparently a mob boss was trying to perform a takeover of the city and turn it in to a criminal empire.
When told that the mob had a majority control over the city, I responded with an exasperated "Goddamnit, I'm going to have to murder half the city again, aren't I?"
It was the start of an Exalted game with a GM who was running it for the first time. He started off things high, with a zombie hoard attacking the city (chiaroscuro, I think?). I'm pretty sure he intended it to be a horror game, but the problem is that even a starting Solar halfway invested in combat charms finds zombies to be a trivial opponent. This lead to my Zenith singlehandedly annihilating a zombie hoard that had taken over roughly two thirds of the city.
The GM realizes that he needs to challenge us in ways other than physical combat, so he sets us up in the middle of the post-infestation intrigue. Apparently a mob boss was trying to perform a takeover of the city and turn it in to a criminal empire.
When told that the mob had a majority control over the city, I responded with an exasperated "Goddamnit, I'm going to have to murder half the city again, aren't I?"
lordofthestorm
A Great Big Goose, Clad in Orange
Here's something from a Vampire game I did way back when.
My character is Ordo Dracul in a city controlled by the Lancea Sanctum. As we try to run, three vampires corner my character and two of his friends. I basically say "oh screw this," stand right up to them and use Monstrous Countenance. I bluff my way saying we loaded the place we just escaped with enough C4 to blow up the entire block and all of us with it and one push of a cell phone button and we all die. I end with "You may be bulletproof, Spearman. But are you fireproof?"
Now imagine that with a very thick Russian accent.
My character is Ordo Dracul in a city controlled by the Lancea Sanctum. As we try to run, three vampires corner my character and two of his friends. I basically say "oh screw this," stand right up to them and use Monstrous Countenance. I bluff my way saying we loaded the place we just escaped with enough C4 to blow up the entire block and all of us with it and one push of a cell phone button and we all die. I end with "You may be bulletproof, Spearman. But are you fireproof?"
Now imagine that with a very thick Russian accent.
JayTee
Eight Thousand Club
Comrade, did you not know? In Soviet Russia, vampire runs away from you!
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Grey
Dialectical Hermeticist
I once played a Norvegus fixer in a Requiem game.
One of the PCs was a Mekhet damn near confined to her apartment, but with a huge array of computers and hacking tools. So when the Ordo sent some goons to her apartment while she was hiding in mine, Sweeney (who had Circle of the Crone sympathies insofar as he served any Covenant) visited the nearby liquor store.
He went to the basement apartment door, reined in his Beast long enough to light an Everclear molotov cocktail, and knocked.
"Who's there?"
"Technical support. I'm here to install your firewall."
*WOOMPH*
I don't think she ever forgave me for that one.
One of the PCs was a Mekhet damn near confined to her apartment, but with a huge array of computers and hacking tools. So when the Ordo sent some goons to her apartment while she was hiding in mine, Sweeney (who had Circle of the Crone sympathies insofar as he served any Covenant) visited the nearby liquor store.
He went to the basement apartment door, reined in his Beast long enough to light an Everclear molotov cocktail, and knocked.
"Who's there?"
"Technical support. I'm here to install your firewall."
*WOOMPH*
I don't think she ever forgave me for that one.
Melissia
August Personage of Jade
"You are now a little girl."
-- Punishing a psyker in DH for abusing his psychic powers and trying to metagame their way out of perils of the warp.
-- Punishing a psyker in DH for abusing his psychic powers and trying to metagame their way out of perils of the warp.
gatherer818
One Thousand Club
Priceless. Absolutely priceless. I wonder whether it was torching her equipment or the terrible pun (or both) she couldn't forgive...Grey said:
Alexandra
The black-eyed cousin
Given my understanding of the situation, it was the equipment. But it was the rest of the table could barely forgive the pun....gatherer818 said:
KyoDemer
D^3 CEM Team Leader.
I know that one all to well. Of course with the groups I'm in, it may just start a pun off.Alexandra said:
Thorn Darkblade
I know lots of things. Lots of things...
"The Scarlett Empress? Hell, I'd rather shag her than kill her. Talk about a MILF..."
-Captain Kye Anrai of the Underhanded Venture, Eclipse Caste Solar
-Captain Kye Anrai of the Underhanded Venture, Eclipse Caste Solar
JayTee
Eight Thousand Club
"I basically own this entire building. I have access to everywhere in the place, even the places I shouldn't."
Ownership in this case was more metaphorical than literal. I had/have the master keys.
Ownership in this case was more metaphorical than literal. I had/have the master keys.
Captain Hesperus
Harbinger of the End Times and Apostle of Ghan
"Trust me. The last time I did this, there were only forty unintended casualties. I'm getting better..."
Captain Hesperus
Captain Hesperus
JayTee
Eight Thousand Club
"Next time, lets rob the armory before we set the building on fire."
The result of our lack of forethought blasted an area the size of a football field in to the city. Thankfully it was mostly gangster-controlled territory, so no loss of life worth mentioning.
The result of our lack of forethought blasted an area the size of a football field in to the city. Thankfully it was mostly gangster-controlled territory, so no loss of life worth mentioning.
Grey
Dialectical Hermeticist
"Was Sir Bedeghaine there?"
"Yes, it seems so."
"Then I guess Risa won't be... taking him to bed again *YEEEAAHHH*"
"I don't know which is worse; the pun or that you made the pun immediately following news of his death. Either way you've earned something experimental from my bestiary."
"Yes, it seems so."
"Then I guess Risa won't be... taking him to bed again *YEEEAAHHH*"
"I don't know which is worse; the pun or that you made the pun immediately following news of his death. Either way you've earned something experimental from my bestiary."
PirateLexi
All Hail Cthulhu
Shadowrun can be just as fun...a stoner mage detective + an Ork bruiser with low intelligence.
While waiting for our dwarf hacker to break the lock on the durasteel five foot thick door.
"I'm boooooooooored. I bet you ten credits you can't open that door."
"ORK SMASH!"
*alarm goes off*
*sheepish look* "What? We're inside, isn't that what we wanted?"
While waiting for our dwarf hacker to break the lock on the durasteel five foot thick door.
"I'm boooooooooored. I bet you ten credits you can't open that door."
"ORK SMASH!"
*alarm goes off*
*sheepish look* "What? We're inside, isn't that what we wanted?"
gatherer818
One Thousand Club
Ah, good ol' Shadowrun. Brian Clevinger (sp?) of 8-bit Theater once described it as a game where "a discussion about getting a can from a Coke machine could involve a rocket launcher within three steps, and no one would balk." Good times.
Misanthrope
Junior Member
In a DnD game where the players were playing dragons and were faced with others of their kind bound by mind-controlling collars, one of them yells... "Lets kill their children and stop them from growing up evil..." In character, on a forum based game, where minors are not allowed to be used in graphic depictions of death and destruction >.<
In a Werewolf game, where the pack found themselves across the gauntlet with some evil tree spirits trying to eat them.... Werewolf 1: "I knew I should have brought my chainsaw..." Werewolf 2: "Wrong game, this isn't 40K" Werewolf 1: "No, Chainsaws do exist in real life too... and we use them to cut down trees. I should know, its what I do for a living."
In an exalted game, where I was running a bit of a dungeon crawl.... one wise ass Eclipse shouts "I search for traps and secret doors" before they were even in the dungeon...
In a Werewolf game, where the pack found themselves across the gauntlet with some evil tree spirits trying to eat them.... Werewolf 1: "I knew I should have brought my chainsaw..." Werewolf 2: "Wrong game, this isn't 40K" Werewolf 1: "No, Chainsaws do exist in real life too... and we use them to cut down trees. I should know, its what I do for a living."
In an exalted game, where I was running a bit of a dungeon crawl.... one wise ass Eclipse shouts "I search for traps and secret doors" before they were even in the dungeon...
gatherer818
One Thousand Club
Eclipse have to deal with the Fae as part of their caste role. It's only natural that they detect damage to the fourth wall and respond to it.
"it's a dungeon crawl... I only brought d10's, I'll need a d20 and three d6 if we're going dungeon crawling. And some Mountain Dew."
Besides, I think that Charm exists, check Investigation... it allows you to take 20 as a standard action on Search checks. I mean, to make Perception+Investigation rolls to search a room by sight in 6 seconds and accomplish an hour's searching.
"it's a dungeon crawl... I only brought d10's, I'll need a d20 and three d6 if we're going dungeon crawling. And some Mountain Dew."
Besides, I think that Charm exists, check Investigation... it allows you to take 20 as a standard action on Search checks. I mean, to make Perception+Investigation rolls to search a room by sight in 6 seconds and accomplish an hour's searching.
HumanPlus
Sleeper Agent
Here's one from less than two minutes ago in our Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay game
"Since i am poor i will drag my dwarven butt onto the inn counter and intimidate the barkeep to give me a meal."
"Since i am poor i will drag my dwarven butt onto the inn counter and intimidate the barkeep to give me a meal."
Alexandra
The black-eyed cousin
From an Exalted game; a snippet of in character and out of character conversation that should remind people of the huge difference between roleplaying and rollplaying...
Player; Can I roll to seduce the diplomat's daughter?
GM; ...do you maybe want to try and roleplay it a little? Maybe get a stunt dice or two?
PC; So what kind of meat do you enjoy? ::chewing::
NPC; Oh, I enjoy game. The fowl here at the feast is very good indeed.
PC; I see. ::chews some more:: I prefer squid myself.
Player; So can I roll to seduce her now?
GM; Sure; because the bitches love squid....
Player; Can I roll to seduce the diplomat's daughter?
GM; ...do you maybe want to try and roleplay it a little? Maybe get a stunt dice or two?
PC; So what kind of meat do you enjoy? ::chewing::
NPC; Oh, I enjoy game. The fowl here at the feast is very good indeed.
PC; I see. ::chews some more:: I prefer squid myself.
Player; So can I roll to seduce her now?
GM; Sure; because the bitches love squid....
Kasheal
Senior Member
A friends line from a Dragon-blooded game where we were just misunderstood.
"We're not evil, we are just efficient."
And to be honest we did get stuff done and those cities were hiding Solars.
"We're not evil, we are just efficient."
And to be honest we did get stuff done and those cities were hiding Solars.
nulla rimane
New Member
Shining Lotus Sage
Avatar of Vanity
"Did either of you have to stab one of their friends in the throat today? Okay? So dont get on my case about this."
<ST> With all the clarity of dream-logic, it's obvious. The golden frobbit has the key.
Or the whole following conversation:
<Malito> "If it screams it can be interrogated."
<Malito> "Why do I have to keep explaining this to people."
<NMP> "Because most people don't like interrogations." Moon deadpans.
<Malito> "That is the point of an interrogation."
Malito clearly completely missed the joke
The mayor is looking a bit uneasy, and the open door seems to be incrementally closing.
<Mistral> "I'm terribly sorry about my companions. So... when did the flowers appear?"
<ST> With all the clarity of dream-logic, it's obvious. The golden frobbit has the key.
Or the whole following conversation:
<Malito> "If it screams it can be interrogated."
<Malito> "Why do I have to keep explaining this to people."
<NMP> "Because most people don't like interrogations." Moon deadpans.
<Malito> "That is the point of an interrogation."
Malito clearly completely missed the joke
The mayor is looking a bit uneasy, and the open door seems to be incrementally closing.
<Mistral> "I'm terribly sorry about my companions. So... when did the flowers appear?"
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