Stories of Self-Improvement

[sorrow made you]

National Self-Improvement Month!

The philosophy of the wisest man that ever existed, is mainly derived from the act of introspection. William Godwin

Hey guys! September is on it’s way, and it just so happens to be National Self-Improvement month! In light of that I’d love to know of some of your own self improvement stories! Along with that it’d be great to hear some advice regarding self improvement as well!


Self improvement is a large part of life in itself, and something I believe should remain a constant element of our lives as we grow and expand as human beings. One should never stop seeking to improve themselves, striving for greatness in every action. To me I’ve always saw the road to self improvement beginning with a firm goal in mind and ones own confidence in achieving that goal. Of course this is just me, and I’d rather not sit here and drone on about myself. In fact I’d much rather hear some stories from you guys! So please share your own self improvement stories and advice below! I’d love to hear it!




Self-improvements can be anything from serious to silly; anything that you believe you improved yourself with.


Please try to include the following (not limited to nor required):

• What did you improve in yourself?
  
• Why did you want this self-improvement?
  
• What was your end goal/achievement?
  
• Was there a struggle or obstacles you had to go through?
  
• How long did it take you to achieve your goal?
  
• How did it make you feel through the process? What about the end result?
  

Special thanks to @welian and @Atom for thread idea and content

 

[DemonKitten]

I'll contribute while I'm sitting here. I was a very tempered child to the point I would black out and hurt people. I tend to snap and switch from happy to angry in a fraction of a second. One day, my dad went to prison and I became afraid because I thought it was because of his temper. I started to work towards being not as physically violent. I still hurt a few people in the process, stabbed people (oops), threatened people who flirted with me and so on, but it became less frequent. It was a long journey and has caused a lot of emotional imbalance along with it. My emotional stability is still sort of weak but I'm proud to say that my temper is pretty much chilled. Sure I still get annoyed and angry but I'm not violent. Anyway, I still have much more work to do to get to where I need to.

 

[sorrow made you]

I believe so. I was asked to put this up in place of welian.


It kind of slipped my mind that it should be mentioned, right? oAe;;

 

[sorrow made you]

Before August 29th. Shhh shhhh Yuuki is totes wrong. Its k.


Though... I figured people would just post when they felt like it? xD

 

[welian]

stabbed people (oops)

I wanna hear that story over TeamSpeak some day.

Second question: When are stories due by?

Due dates? Nah brah, this is just a casual discussion on how we have become slightly less cruddy people than we were in the past. 'Side, Self Improvement month is allllllll through September.

 

[sorrow made you]

Does @Musician have an inspiring story? oAo?

 

[DemonKitten]

@welian it was a shocking realization in my life lol

 

[welian]

And now I have an inspiring story.


I lost 20 pounds and went from a size 14 jeans to a size 12 over the course of last year. I would say it was because of self-discipline, a new diet, a gym regiment.... but actually, all that happened was that I got my first job. A job that required me to running around a grocery store and bring the carts in from the parking lot. It was a job that gave me hella biceps, got me out of bed for 4-8 hours on random days of the week (seriously, screw that random schedule crap), and most importantly, forced me to drink lotsa water.


Compare: Awkward close-eyed me in September of 2013 (because someone's mother always has to wait for me to blink)

to me in January 2014, where I went with three other friends (@KamiKahzy, @UnquietDreams, @Gellion) to New Orleans and celebrated my birthday.

I kinda stagnated here around 155lb, but that's okay. I like my body, and now I know it won't be that hard to drop another 20 once I put my mind to it again.

 

[Meredith]

I'm kind of going to write this in a sort of reference to the site, because there's not much point in going into childhood audacity. (Though that's still, I could admit, an occasional influence on my behavior.)


I joined RpN a year and a half, almost two years ago. At this point, I'd recently switched back to the public school system after the train wreck that was private school.


I pretty well hated everything and everyone. I was angry, then depressed, then angry again.


Clearly, I was a wonderful child. xD


Anyhow, you can imagine this didn't quite help me out with people. More than anything, I'd run away from my problems - both figuratively and literally.


I got very angry at the slightest issue, and the more I lashed out the more angry I was with myself. Vicious cycle. At this point, as you could guess, I used my below-par (then, at least, I'd hope it's gotten better) writing to escape from reality. Glad I never acted up here, eh?


Now, I try to act with patience and understanding. I think I'm... a lot better at it than I once was.


I guess one day, I woke up. I asked myself, do I want to live this life. Do I want to be the person I am today?


The answer, then, was no.


It's still no. I've a long way to go before I am where I want to be.


But now, I can look at myself and say - hey, today I was good to someone. Today I did something to make someone happy, or said something to make someone laugh. Today I did what I needed to do, what I've taken a vow to do. I'm a girl guide, after all - On my honour, I will try. There's a duty to be done, and I say aye. There's a reason here, for a reason above. My honour is to try and my duty is to love.


Some days I'm good to people. Some days I withdraw and treat social interaction as a plague.


My honour is to try. I prefer to succeed, myself, but failure shows me what mistakes need correcting.


My duty is to love. That's pretty self-explanatory, eh?


My point is, I'd say, that in the past couple years I've pulled myself up from a whiny, self-pitying, self absorbed brat to something I can look at and be happy about - even though I'm not there yet.


Anyone can do it. It's not any virtue exclusive to me that made me change. Motivation and determination. A few good friends.


And when all that fails, ice cream.

 

[The Creator Prime]

A bit of a story.

This was written on an IPad during a vacation trip just now at very:late pm, auto correct might be a thing.


I am currently The Necromancer. Previously I was Malphaestus, Mal, Malph, the list goes on. The reason I feel the need to write this segment in this place is not for the sake of enlightening individuals, but rather to put my terrible past behind me and rise "like the phoenix". To end this quick little introductory paragraph I'd like to speak my apologies for those I have hurt and/or offended in one way or another. This extends to this site, others, but most specifically real life. I am very sorry.


Onto the tale, but beware! It's most certainly long, and not very prideful. Upon writing this, I still feel regret for my deeds, and I'd do whatever necessary to regain the wonderful bonds I had once forged.


Long story

I don't really know where upon I should begin my terrible story, I'm unsure if the words I will utter are against the codes of conduct, but as I've made clear, I am doing this so that I may journey onwards with a rekindled spirit. The root is often where we start, that being family. As a seed, I didn't fall very far from the tree, with a bad family and bad parents, I was raised up in a bad way.


Disconnected from the outside world by a terrible drunkard father, and a mother whom I'd rather not mention, me and my sister were more often than not holed up in our room for the majority of my childhood. With parents screaming and. Fighting and throwing things, my soul and mind was never destined to be normal. My sister and I adored our father and mother dearly, however, past 3pm, it was as if there was a switch, and it was turned.


I love my sister, I love my family, but when I was a child... Those parents were not mine. (I've taken drastic steps, they're not the ones they used to be, of that I am proud.) Those were my roots, and all the fear, hate, violence, and anger had clung to me. In my early days I took to bullying, stretching far beyond what I am comfortable telling anyone.


Later on in life, before high school, I was a terrible child, punching kids, stealing, ganging up on others. It was during this age, however, that my teacher (after giving me the scolding of my life) gave me my first book.i can't remember from whom, or it's name, but it changed me drastically. This book was the introduction of many books whom I'd come to absorb as if downloading files and documents straight into my brain. It catapulted me into the grade A's, but my worst times would come anyway.


I fear that upon my entrance into High School, the book I'd recently read was The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, the greatest detective of them all. As I've always been a bit of a man for villains, I looked upon Professor Moriarty with great intrigue, and before I knew it, he had become a part of my persona. Ruthless, vindictive and remorseless, with a scarily capable intellect (how did I even turn out this way?). All started well, I spoke with my teachers about studies, I worked and did my required part during class, and all went by as it should. All this'd change, however, when people began to explore beyond their pre-determined social circles.


I, the silent academic, was next upon the radar. I seemed harmless, and my smarts seemed easy to utilize. They ganged up on me as I had done many times prior, they forced me left and right, pushed me all the way from hell and back. I had never been ashamed of going home before, but now with my family reforged and strengthened like a newly forged helmet, I held myself from going back home for days, not until my body and mind had healed.


That encounter had unleashed a slumbering beast, a vicious animal with a flair for the intellectual. I don't really desire to go much deeper into the blackest depths of my personal darkness, so I will not say anything beyond the results of my deeds. I graduated and entered one of he best universities my citizenship could allow, harmless, blameless, and those who pushed me down, opposed me, were cast away in every sense of the word.


It was during the same time that I came into the more populated sites of forum RP, but still beyond my arrival here. I'd like to mark an end to the chapters of my misdeeds here, but sadly. It is not over just yet. People who wear masks unleash their true selves upon others, as they say. I have little to say but the fact that I beg of naught but forgiveness.


Yet, there was one whom didn't wish ill will upon me, I believe her forum name was "Kanine", but she changed, so it is not important in the least. She was quite like my beacon on the stormy sea. She meant less to me then than she does now, and I wished I could tell her how very thankful I am of her words. She tol me this: "Seriously, I don't care! Ok? I don't care. But you should know that I should, I should honestly care, but I don't. For some reason I like you, and it won't stop, but when you act this way it pains my heart".


I remember you all too well, Kanine. I'd speak your name, but it is not the place. Since she spoke those words to me, I have done all in my power to change my persona. Many'd say I've failed, I know as much. There is a step I took, and now I've fallen deep, lost many friends, and had my first best friend in many years tell me I've fallen back unto the wrong path again.


So now I once more say my pardons, and as such, I ensure you that all mentioned troubles have been solved. My second word is an assurance that I will never, ever, return to my spiteful, vengeful past. I shall never stray the rightful path, and I thank my best friend for telling me the harsh but necessary truth.


It will never happen again, and yet more, I am sorry.


Other

This is written as both a reminder, but also as a way to put all wrong-doings behind me.


It's purpose is more ceremonial than anything, but I guess it's also a bit enlightening for people concerning the topic of me.


Like Musician said: Here's to change, to never turn into what we most despise and instead lead enjoyable, happy lives. But most of all, cheers to hope.


The Hope for Change.


Sincerely,


The Necromancer.

 

[sorrow made you]

Yuuki isn't going to pretty this one up, since... y'know. Real talk.


I'm actually very surprised at the responses I'm getting so far. This really is Real Talk. And... I feel like I'm not really sure what to say. lol


I was going to talk about my self-improvement with my cooking because dayum, I've learned to cook some good food in the span of two years. xD But... now I'm not so sure xD ;;


Well... I guess I could include it in my big rant, so here we go:


Some of you guys know I have a journal in the Personal Discussion section. One of my first entries is me talking about my anxiety disorder and panic attacks. How crippling it was. Anxiety and Panic Attacks are something that many people actually face at least once in their lives. But its not too common (up until recently, apparently) that you hear about Anxiety Disorder accompanied by panic attacks. There is a big difference between Anxiety Disorder and normal Anxiety. Mainly, Anxiety Disorder never goes away. It doesn't matter how much therapy, how many vacations, what meds you take, what activities you do, it never. goes. away.


I was a relatively normal, albeit shy, kid up until 12 years old. My sister and I are 6 years apart. My mother was a young mother--only being 17 when she had me. I was a good child, never really had problems. Never acted out, never rebelled. I never had any struggles or abuse, never had too much bullying that would trigger anxiety. But around the beginning of middle school, I started to be overshadowed by crippling fear. Fear that would keep me up for nights on end. I would fill journals and journals of dark poetry about unrequited loves resulting in murders, suicide, screaming and pain. I would draw my own anime characters that would escape the boundaries of reality and show strength in unimaginable ways. My drawings were my saving grace. By 13-14, I wanted to commit suicide. But I was afraid of pain, and more than anything, I knew I could never be that selfish. Killing yourself doesn't just hurt yourself, it kills everyone else around you. And I couldn't do that to the family I loved so much.


I became recluse. I didn't like camping anymore. I didn't like outside. I was afraid of going on public transportation and getting out was difficult. Granted, I lived with my mom and sister, who lived with my grandparents and aunt--all conservative Christians, but all caring, loving, and open minded enough to get me help. My parents are divorced, and my dad has always been there for me. My parents are actually best friends. My dad got me into a doctor and I had seen him for about half my life. He diagnosed me early with bipolar disorder. He said I had mood swings, and I was imbalanced. I would get incredibly sad, panicky, I felt like the world was caving in on me and everyone hated me for one thing or another. I couldn't talk about anything without tears welling in my eyes. This doctor would sit there and talk and talk and talk. I didn't even have to say anything and he would prescribe me with a medication and I would be on my way.


That started my 10 year prescription medication addiction.


Middle school was tough for me. I don't remember most of it, mainly because the medication knocked me out. I remember being so much in a panic, I became agoraphobic for my 7th grade year. I literally did not leave the house. It was around this time internet was a thing in my house. I started browsing online, and I found my first rping site by 14-15 years old. Gaia Online had become my life for a good long time.


Fast forward to high school, I don't remember a lot of it. Again, I was medicated majority of the time so I don't even remember. I was asleep. I remember any time I had an anxiety attack, I would be given a pill so I could sleep it off. I never was forced to deal with anything. I made friends... none of them good, but it never changed the good in me. I always had decent to good grades, and was always way too hard on myself. My parents always told me to do the best I could and that was enough. But it was never enough. I always had to do better. I always had to beat my own expectations. And when I couldn't. I would break down and crumble.


There were several times I broke down, became unresponsive. I would take pills and it was almost like I went into a zombified state. I just wanted to be numb. I didn't want to feel or think. I wanted to secretly die. But again, it was selfish. I got together with my current boyfriend not too long after my ex-boyfriend dumped me for my best friend at that time. It was crippling, and I still hold a grudge against my ex and my ex-best friend. He had used me, scarred me in ways that no one had before. And I was far more damaged than I knew. My boyfriend now, honestly, was probably one of the best things that happened to me.


Six years has been rough. He's had to put up with my difficult ass with little to no help. There is no instruction manual in how to deal with me. People with Anxiety Disorder are really hard to figure out. Even the simplest of things are difficult. No one could understand why it was so hard for me to apply for financial aid for school, or why it was hard for me to apply for scholarships. Why couldn't I make my own meals? Why couldn't I do my own laundry? Countless times, I was called lazy and spoiled. That may be true, but that wasn't why I didn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't even explain why I couldn't do it, and that drove me insane. But through all of the fighting and the tears and breakdowns, my boyfriend continued to be by my side. Six. Years.


Fast forward to two years ago, I moved out of my family's house and into an apartment with my boyfriend and some strangers that went to school with us. This was an incredibly huge step for me. Never before him had I ever thought I would leave this house. I thought I would be trapped here till the day I die. I thought I would go crazy here, like my mom. Like my sister. I didn't want that. By all means, I was desperate to leave. Going to this apartment that was way too expensive for us, with a con-artist of a roommate... it was terrible, but it was the beginning of change.


I literally broke when I was there. I was always stressed out. I was always crying and there were a few times where I would shut myself in the closet, or hide on the balcony out in the cold. Too many times I locked myself in the bathroom, sat in the shower, and literally smashed my head into the wall because I couldn't make the pain stop. I couldn't stop my mind from racing. I was on so many medications that I had to physically go to my doctor to get because I was on samples. This man that I'd been seeing for... how many years now? He wasn't a doctor. He was a drug dealer. I was on five different medications, all for different things. Anti-seizure, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant, ADHD (yes, he put me on Ritalin), and then something for sleep, but I think it was another anti-psychotic for schizophrenia. I had NONE of the symptoms he was saying I did and I didn't need to be on any of them.


One day, I called my dad in a panic. I told him that I needed to do something. I felt like I was literally going to die. I wasn't living. I wasn't even surviving. I literally couldn't function. My relationship was in shambles, I couldn't afford to pay rent, my roommate's situation was bleak as well... While I was at school one day, I went up to the Disability office and had them call an ambulance. I told them I had a bottle of pills and I was going to commit suicide if I went home. I was taken to the nearest hospital, and then a few hours later, I emitted myself to a mental hospital for a 72-hour watch.


As bleak as it was.... It was the most humbling experience I'd had. I learned a lot. Time was meaningless there. There were no phones to distract me. No sniping text messages about why can't I be normal. No pressures on me. My dad and my boyfriend visited me every day. They showered me with reassurance that I was going to get out and I was going to be okay. I passed the 72-hour holding, and I was taken off of all my medications. After, I didn't go back to the apartment right away. I went to stay with my family where I could finish going through my withdrawals.


From there, I started taking steps forward. It took a while, but I got a job. I had to walk an hour and a half and take an 8-minute train ride to get there, and an hour and a half plus 8-minute train ride back every day, just to go make sandwiches for four hours. I learned a lot though, and I will never forget that place. I'll never forget the walks, and how it was my first actual step to getting better and becoming independent.


After the lease was up, we moved to another city a good couple hours away for school. I got into a university, and my boyfriend pretty much dropped everything to get me this place for school. There was a lot of stress but when we moved, I promised myself that I would never be that person that I was back at the old apartment. I was growing up.


It was incredibly stressful, and I had to watch my boyfriend crumble. We fought again. He hated me for reasons I couldn't understand. I tried though. I supported us when he couldn't find a job. I pulled out loans to get us through when everything else screwed us over. For every one strike of good luck, we would have 10 strikes of bad luck. It was infuriating. But regardless, we always made it somehow. Roommates came and went, new ones are here now. I got a job toward the end of the school semester, and trying to juggle school and work... was tough for me. I went through many anxiety attacks. Again, I felt like I was weak, worthless, like I couldn't do anything right. I gained a new symptom in the form of high blood pressure and chest pains. I still get them to this day when I'm stressed out too much.


My job screwed everyone over and I had to quit. With a family emergency, I ended up back at my family's place to work here for the summer. I've been here three months now and I feel like I'm going crazy all over again lol. I've thought about picking up smoking to replace my need to take a pill. I've found that I' easily susceptible to pain killer addiction, and now am regulating how much I take.


This last month or so has been an incredible change for me. I have been the strongest and most confident I've ever been. My anxiety is at an all-time low, even if I do still have anxiety and panic attacks. They're not crippling. I'm not bashing my head against walls anymore. I'm not crying till tears can't come out anymore. I'm actually productive. I'm working. I just applied for my first apartment by myself, and it looks like I'll be getting it too.


I'm going to be responsible and in charge of my life. And for the first time ever, I feel like I can do absolutely anything I put my mind to.


I talked to my dad on the phone yesterday, and he admitted to me, "I know its shameful to say that I put expectations on my daughter, but the way you were going, I thought you would be stuck at home forever. You've surpassed any expectation I've had for you. I'm really proud of you, mija."


That hit me hard. I've always been daddy's little girl. But to know that I've actually surpassed and am excelling any and all expectations that were put upon me... its opened my eyes. Even more than him saying he's proud of me, I've finally found the approval that I have been searching for all my life. I'm more than just okay. I'm more than just surviving.


I'm succeeding.


So, really guys. Cheers to new beginnings and striving for the absolute best. Surpass all expectations, because only you can take control of your life and steer it the way you want it to go.


 
Crap, I forgot to mention cooking. >____<;;


Living with a Japanese bottomless pit for a roommate, definitely help when experimenting with cooking. Just saying.

 

[Archie]

Hey hope I didn’t miss the deadline on this


I’ve never written anything like this before, but I hope I can help people by shedding light on my own big change


Just two years ago, I was nobody. Four years before that, I was severely overweight, ADHD, closeted, with a super high voice, no athleticism, and bad grades. I didn’t have any hope, and I was afraid, of everything. I couldn’t want horror movies… hell, I was even afraid of snails. Snails.

Spoiler

Now, everything’s better. I’ve just gotten through selling my third business after a great time racking up cash in Japan, and had all the trappings that came with it, boats included

Spoiler

Ooookay so it doesn't have an engine and sits collecting snow every year in boston harbor but it's still a good photoshoot

I’ve got people I can trust and depend on. I wouldn’t call myself a pro bodybuilder, but my biceps clock in at 16 inches now and I feel great about my shape.

Spoiler

I don’t have to hide my orientation anymore, I’ve become a lot more fearless, and I got my voice to be a lot deeper and am a karaoke champ.


And most importantly, I’ve accepted myself and gotten over conflict. Yuuki really hit it on the head by saying we’re always improving all the time and it doesn’t stop. I only joined an RP site again after 3 years of being off a month before I left Japan, and a couple months ago I’d never post anything about my RL here so people didn’t think it was “weird”


Today though I’ve realized that if people judge it, it doesn’t matter. You’ll love to hear this, but a big part of building what I have actually came from understanding I got RPing and doing creative writing. It’s part of me, like anime and all my quirky habits, and nobody can wipe things away. I don’t just want to tell people what I changed, but how. We can all learn from eachother, and I hope other people are able to do the same things to build the same results.


When I was a freshman in high school I knew things had to change. I was a real history buff… in four years I read almost all the history there was. “We need a five year plan for chess” said a bad man, Mussolini. But however bumbling he was, that sentence was littered with truth. Five year plan? That’s a long, gradual goal. Chess? Something irrelevant for government. Every aspect of your life you can change if you set a long term vision is what it means, and you can change everything at once. People who say you can’t multitask have never seen anyone play the piano, and have never been through those long hours of practice themselves.


So I started small and started on everything, because small victoires really do boost your confidence. My self esteem went from nothing to okay to confident. With grades, I did trial and error, with joining sports nad clubs, I did trial and error, with making more friends, trial and error, with money – I downloaded scottrade – then played the market with my small salary and trial and error. With failures, I always convinced myself something else would work and I still was okay because I’d succeeded at other things before, and eventually, I clawed my way up my class rank, became a good athlete and became a champion debater. I needed to learn more about time management, psychology, and courage. So – you’ll laugh when you read this – I rped and wrote. A lot. Playing all kinds of characters, digging all kinds of challenges.


The issue was how can you succeed without trial and error? That question haunted me forever. I had a lot of ground to make up, and now that I’d won at some things, I wanted to do more. I still had a lot of problems – all the gay kids at my school were bullied in our rich small conservative white town. I was terrified of coming out, or even being nice to them. After all, a couple geniuses in history built brilliant theories from nothing. How?


I took inspiration from weird sources. When I read Caesar saying “victories are in trivial things”, I thought “what?” When I read that Carnegie made his money by pushing his people and machines to the limit, I thought “he’s a psychopath”. When I read Aristotle say that all great ideas came from memories, I thought “well Aristotle was wrong about everything”.


But then I put it together. What if, when I thought of thing,s I thought of what they reminded me of, and hten thought as quickly as I could? What if, solving problems, I thought of the small things as fast as I could, and what they reminded me of, then tried to make them into big things? I don’t know what you’d call it. A marathon of experience? A memory sprint? Whatever it was, it made everything ocme to light nad there was never a problem I couldn’t find a solution to. Always right? Nope. For everyone? No. But this kind of method let me come up with interesting ideas no matter which situation I was in, and fast.


When I graduated in senior year, I was president of a lot of clubs and teams, a good athlete, champion debater, and near the top of my class. I’d come a long way, but was still afraid. Very afraid. Of snails, of butterflies, of horror movies.


A friend took me to a fight club to watch a round, and I’d never seen more bravery. People were fierce like dogs. They just punched, hacked at eachother, unthinkingly. Then I realized, being brave and getting over your pain was just about acting, not thinking so much. Action triggers a weird response in the body. We’re afraid most of all of the unknown, said a famous French author. We think we know situations better if we take action to solve them, even if we’re dead wrong.


I watched horror movies until I wasn’t afraid of them anymore, ate snails. In the jump scares in horror movies, I leaned in or started twiddling my thumbs. Try it – taking any conscious action at all makes you a lot less afraid.


That helped me in my coming out, but coming out created a ton of other problems. I’d already graduated, and wasn’t afraid of being bullied anymore, so what people thought of me was less important. What was more important was that not only did my family not approve, my life plan didn’t either. I wanted to go down the standard path of going to a top university – the one I got into just happened to be in the deep south – become a lawyer, and run for office, preferably where my college was: I’d gotten good at serving a politician back home, and was confident I could do the same kind of interning to build big connections over four years. I was hoping the congressman would give me some encouraging words. “You’d better go to a different school, kid” he told me… except no schools on the same level accepted me from the north. I still went for the first couple months, but I knew I needed a change.


So I started to put it together. I had this outlandish idea after hearing that parents in china, korea, and japan will pay a hundred dollars in yuan per hour just having white people talk to their kids and build accents. China has a lot of poor, but also had many incredibly rich people who wanted their kids to learn the global commerce language like a native. With a relative in China where part of my family comes from, we started my first venture. We’d charge a much lower rate to do skype calls with our family friends in china: our instructors just needed to be comfortable talking with kids, didn’t even need to speak Chinese. I got friends from home to do it by the dozens, and within months, we had enough to go big and hire marketers. I didn’t think about it much, I just rolled the dice. Think about it this way: casinos are rolling the dice with the odds stacked against you. The world always produces more and more. Therefore, it’s rolling the dice with the odds stacked for you. If you roll more than everyone else, you reap more benefits, and if you fail, luck is a big part of everything, so you don’t need to be ashamed. Be more ashamed of not trying than failing.


Umm at this point I realized I was just connecting the dots and bringing that pint to 2 years later, so I put it in spoiler tags.

Spoiler

In the mean time, I’d been scrambling to learn Japanese… to watch more anime. I always loved Japan from a distance, so I started working with a small Japanese firm to spread the service to Japan. We started using a more professional facetime client, and eventually, one of my client’s dads, a big manager, invited me to come over. You can never tell when flattering Japanese businessmen are serious. But my company wasn’t going nearly as well in Japan as in China, for a reason I’d find out. I went over as soon as I could, thinking that if only I was on the front line, marketing in Japan would go better, and not being able to resist the chance to experience the country!


I quickly found out the obvious reason things weren’t going well in Japan. I didn’t have family there, but I did in China. I headdesked at how stupid I was and realized I had to get down to selling things better. My host told me I should do something that connects West and East and where an American would be a more trustworthy provider of service. I tried out import export, and quickly learned that in Asia, it’s very important to come across like you’ve been doing what you’ve been doing for years. I had to learn to sell to people who weren’t family friends and motivate workers who didn’t know me. Over time I built the sales skills – St. Exupery said it really well when he said getting people to build a ship isn’t about drumming them up, but teaching them to dream about the endless sea, and that love isn’t gazing into eachother’s eyes, but gazing off in the same direction. I listened to great pitches I heard nad started talking a lot more simply, visually, and about big ideas people could marvel at, taking after St. Exupery, and got a lot better at it.


The final project was opening a gym, an out there idea one of my buddies at one of the Tokyo fitness clubs had. Japanese gyms have a lot of problems compared to Western ones. Trainers look out for their own interests a lot and keep their cards close to their chest. Machines can look nice, but often aren’t high quality. We bought an older one, renovated it, and gave it an Italian name, giving referral bonuses to our western friends hitting clubs: we marketed socially, and realized that a Western feel for something like a fitness club was a trustworthy marketing scheme in Japan, where most fitness models actually weren’t Asian.


My eyes almost blew out when I looked at the invoice for how much I could sell the club for two months before I left Japan. I got something more out of that experience, though. I’d been bulimic and borderline anorexic in high school and college about weight. Bodybuilding teaches a lot of life lessons. Those who focus on their next rep and don’t take long rests have al ot less fear and can stand more pain. Watching things people don’t watch out for – negative reps, for example – gain a lot more. Counter intuitively, slowly lowering your weight, the “negative rep”, rips you more than pushing your weight up, the “positive rep” that most focus on. I could get built fast. Honestly it teaches you managing stuff in chaos since there are times you feel like you’re gonna fall over squatting, and you try not to. It’s the same motivation to keep things together in other parts of life.


The problem I ran into was trying hard for progress to obliterate who I was before. I had serious thoughts of living in Japan forever so I’d never have to think of that out of shape self I was. Slowly, I realized you can never get rid of those thing sand what other people think can’t bother you. I’d lived way over the top after starting modestly for a couple of months, and my whole time in Japan, spent days working and nights drinking with buddies and people I worked with. It’s pretty normal for Japanese social life to be confined to your business partners and coworkers. I watched only 2 animes my whole time in Japan. Slowly, I picked up my old hobbies, and realizing I do learn and like reading, writing, watching anime, and creating. What was I doing after all acting like a 50 year old when I’m just 20. I’m American, not Japanese, as much as I loved it there.


So just a month ago, I touched down, in a different state from when I was born and with a new house, doing all the things I liked to do before. Right now I want to do something I like and I trying at programming a game. In some months I’m going back to uni to get my degree and settle down.

Aaaaanyway I just took up a lot of your time, I hope you liked it. Big takeaway is if you hit constantly at a lot of small things, before you know it you can build something huge: go out and get it. Now let's keep going and keep this thread alive all

 

[Ktulu]

Well, my only improvement is in art, pretty much. So, not as feelsy and dramatic I'm afraid. ^^' I'm going to share my own improvement anyway, since the theme of improvement is such a broad one.


Art and drawing has always been a big thing in my life, and a huge hobby of mine. I didn't really start seriously seeking improvement and practicing until I was about twelve in the summer of 2012 after a friend got me into anime. The style appealed to me a lot back then, and I immediately wanted to be able to draw like that. I've always been pretty ambitious, so even though I've taken a bunch of breaks in between the past almost four years from drawing, I never gave up on my goal.


I have yet to reach my end goal, and I doubt I ever will, since no artist is ever content with their current ability. I'm certainly not anyway, as I have yet to properly master human anatomy, digital art, etc. Pencil drawings are basically all I've been doing until this summer.


My art improvement is going to be organised in years, from the start to now. The style dramatically changed after I got to start life drawing and stuff in art class at school. Be warned, there will be a lot of cringe-worthiness.

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Like I said, I have a long way to go. But it's been super fun up to now, and looking back on old stuff gives you this sense of fulfillment. I guess I can only look forward to when stuff from this year looks as bad as stuff from 2012 to me, because that would mean I'd have gotten a lot better. xD

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[welian]

//talks about weight loss


//everyone else lays bare their hearts and souls


:')

 

[sorrow made you]

Hey. Ktulu's art progression is awesome too! I want to work on my drawings again too now. ;;A;;


And weight loss is a srs bnss. //nodnod

 

[Ktulu]

Haha, thank you. xD


I know, everyone who has posted here has gone through so much. And then there's me posting drawings, lol.

 

[sorrow made you]

Drawing can be therapeutic, mang. Drawing is awesome.

 

[Poe]

I forgot how much I love this thread. PEOPLE POST MORE.