The Chronicler
The Flamethrower of Hate
So you know how there's this thing called Election? I didn't know what it was at first but than it grew on me. And I wanted to do one thing... Make America Great Again, but of course that's TM'ed now due to Trump stealing my idea. And with Hillary on the stand too, there's more competition. But than again, I'm just some masked Pyromaniac.. Oh MY GOD!! Imma try for Prez.
Day 1:
Now, Day 1 was hard. I had to burn, I MEAN! Buy, a facility so that I can print all my posters, and hats.. I didn't know you had to print hats, I didn't even know if you could print hats. That's when I had to sign a few contracts, buy someone's YouTube channel so I can make money off of it and whatnot. I also had to threaten, I MEAN! Buy some Lawyers in all skills, entertainment, defense, etc. This is my first day trying out for Prez, and I'm slowly gonna grow.
Day 2:
With everything, my campaign was growing, so I bought a new Gas Mask, a new asbestos-lined suit and a flamethrower covered in my enemies blood, I MEAN!!! Actually, I don't care. I went on a Fox News channel and talked about my campaign and my goals. You can listen to it here:
After that, I was done with that day.
Day 3:
Now, with the Fox Interview, I got a lot more publicity. So, I hopped on Pixlr and started photoshopping some pictures. I made this. It took me at least the whole day to finish, with posing and than converting the pictures of my posing into PNG's. Very difficult. But I got the best person to help me with pictures, Trump helped me with buying the hats in most of the pictures, since such a celebrity like myself can't go walking around in public, plus I don't have bodyguards yet so I contacted Trump on his house phone. I did have some small talk with his wife? Does he still have a wife? Might've been someone else.
Day 4:
With my campaign skyrocketing, due to me tipping off some gangsters, also threatening.. I MEAN! Helping them out, and in favor, they started to draw and spray paint cars, walls, windows, people, etc. Promoting my campaign. I felt good that day forward, until.. I got a call from my bank, telling me to come and check on it IMMEDIATELY!! I rushed out and got into my Pyro-Mobile and raced my way there. Opening my bank account, seeing nothing was wrong, no cash was withdrawed from my Nuke-Savings account, and everything was fine. So I rushed back home, and embraced my flamethrower.. Let me remind you I was in the middle of a date when I got called and, I enjoyed my freshly cooked Human, I MEAN! Cat. Fuck yeah.
Day 5:
This day was horrible, I check my emails on my phone and find all my money was withdrawed from my account. All of my accounts! I was broke, I went bankrupt. I decided, with a few minutes until my house gets burned down my the people I've trusted, I'd alert social media. I arranged a meeting with Fox News, and told them about the heartbreaking situation. They embraced the heat that grew hotter in my body, the hatred for whoever did this robbery, is gonna pay! After a few hours, I reached a conclusion, and asked myself. "Who knows me best and would want to take me down?" And, it hit me! Literally, a flyer hit me in the head. I ripped the piece of paper off my mask and read it slowly. "Hillary Clinton.." I pumped my shotgun that came out of nowhere and told myself. "I'll kill her!"
Day 6:
With time on my hands, I knew that there was only one way to get close to Hillary. To become HILLARY! The original plan was to rip off her face and where it on my mask, but than I noticed she would already be dead and I was probably close to her. So, that was ruled out. But I devised a plan to invite Hillary to my house, with a letter, since I can do anything with this stinkin' phone anyways. The party or killing was planned and the date was tomorrow, and currently, I'm living in a box. My wife left me for that scumbag on Black Market Aisle 2, so currently, I'm alone. But with the night slowly approaching, I knew.. I'm gonna kill Hillary.
Day 7:
The meeting was happening at Chucky Cheese, since Hillary can afford that, plus.. Meh. With a shotgun on my back, I looked at Hillary, with her guards, glaring at me. The man who was manning the prize counter , looked at my shotgun than at me and said. "Well, you walk and look white, so you're probably not gonna do any harm with that shotgun.". And I replied with: "Of course.". I looked at Hillary, than at her child. I cocked my shotgun and shot the child, blasting his head off. "MY BABY!!" Hillary screamed. "Oh come on! He's like, what? Seven? You gotta let go sometime!" I replied. The guards started to get ready to shoot, but than I blasted them right off the ground, at the same time. It's called reflexes. Pumping the shotgun one more time, I shot Hillary in the head, watching her brains blow out. With everyone else in the building, throwing a few grenades didn't hurt. With everyone dead but the man behind the prize counter, I approach him and he asks: "Would you like to get something?" And I replied with: "Yes, what can I get with like.. 19 bloody tickets?" The man looked under the prize counter, and picked out a small plastic ring."You can get this right here." He said. "Is there anything special about it?" I asked. "Uh.. It sparkles." The man replied, showing it off. "Meh. Okay." I take the ring and put it on my pointer finger, watching it.. It didn't sparkle. "YOU LIAR!!" I cocked my shotgun and tried to fire, only finding I was out of shells. "One sec." I load my shotgun back up and blast his head open. And walk my way back to the box.
Day 8:
With Hillary gone, Trump gave me a few billion dollars, thanking me for getting rid of her, but competition isn't what I liked, and with Hillary gone, Trump was left. Actually, isn't there someone else? Meh, worry about that later. My sweet flamethrower came back to me, giving me a warm blast of heat, and I hugged it back. With my honey back, I burned my way through Trump Enterprises and burned Trump to crisps, taking over his tower and renaming it to: Pyro Enterprises. With the period included, so I don't hit any trademarks. With that out of the way, it was finally time to manufacture more things. Things such as, Posters, Hats, Top Hats. I especially like this Top Hat:
But than again, maybe I'm just bloating. Or growing fat, with CASH! I did sorta gain more weight, but not enough that I'd qualify for one of those most fat tv shows. Those are just shameful, and disgraceful to the Pyro family. And with the Pyro family, I have a meeting arranged with them, as they are my family.
Day 9:
With Election Day tomorrow, I decided to meet up with my family, which included: @Shammy the Shamrock @YoungX @TheTraveller and Me! We all discussed how I was gonna be the new president of America and how I'll make it unique again! I can't say good due to it being copyright right now. Actually, with Trump dead, doesn't that make it copyright free? I'll worry about it later. And this is when, I think I reached max happiness with my family.. Mostly because I probably killed the real ones and replaced them with robots that have a happiness system... I probably don't want to ponder on it for too long, the dinner is great! Tastes like fresh skin! Oh god.
Day 10:
With this being Election Day, I went on multiple talk shows, bribed multiple people, and did whatnot. To ensure I got the most votes, and so... I went on the podium, hugged Obama, probably making him sick in the process with my brand new suit: Exhibit A:
It's a really, very beautiful suit. And with that, I stood tall on the podium, looking at all the people, cheering on with their classy cardboard pictures of my campaign slogan, which is nothing by the way. And with that, I spoke proudly, discussing the issues of the world and how I'll fix it, I didn't get a proper recording but everyone should get the idea. And, with that.. I waited. And with no one else to vote for, I WON! With a landslide of thousands and millions of voters, all cheering me on!
Than Russia declared war on us, and I burned the whole country of Russia down to the GROUND! Yeh.
--------------------------------
That was my life story, cuz I got kicked out of the White House due to me having too big a grill party and burning it down. So, Congress voted me off the board and never allowed to do anything political for the next 4 years. Yay.
Day 1:
Now, Day 1 was hard. I had to burn, I MEAN! Buy, a facility so that I can print all my posters, and hats.. I didn't know you had to print hats, I didn't even know if you could print hats. That's when I had to sign a few contracts, buy someone's YouTube channel so I can make money off of it and whatnot. I also had to threaten, I MEAN! Buy some Lawyers in all skills, entertainment, defense, etc. This is my first day trying out for Prez, and I'm slowly gonna grow.
Day 2:
With everything, my campaign was growing, so I bought a new Gas Mask, a new asbestos-lined suit and a flamethrower covered in my enemies blood, I MEAN!!! Actually, I don't care. I went on a Fox News channel and talked about my campaign and my goals. You can listen to it here:
After that, I was done with that day.
Day 3:
Now, with the Fox Interview, I got a lot more publicity. So, I hopped on Pixlr and started photoshopping some pictures. I made this. It took me at least the whole day to finish, with posing and than converting the pictures of my posing into PNG's. Very difficult. But I got the best person to help me with pictures, Trump helped me with buying the hats in most of the pictures, since such a celebrity like myself can't go walking around in public, plus I don't have bodyguards yet so I contacted Trump on his house phone. I did have some small talk with his wife? Does he still have a wife? Might've been someone else.
Day 4:
With my campaign skyrocketing, due to me tipping off some gangsters, also threatening.. I MEAN! Helping them out, and in favor, they started to draw and spray paint cars, walls, windows, people, etc. Promoting my campaign. I felt good that day forward, until.. I got a call from my bank, telling me to come and check on it IMMEDIATELY!! I rushed out and got into my Pyro-Mobile and raced my way there. Opening my bank account, seeing nothing was wrong, no cash was withdrawed from my Nuke-Savings account, and everything was fine. So I rushed back home, and embraced my flamethrower.. Let me remind you I was in the middle of a date when I got called and, I enjoyed my freshly cooked Human, I MEAN! Cat. Fuck yeah.
Day 5:
This day was horrible, I check my emails on my phone and find all my money was withdrawed from my account. All of my accounts! I was broke, I went bankrupt. I decided, with a few minutes until my house gets burned down my the people I've trusted, I'd alert social media. I arranged a meeting with Fox News, and told them about the heartbreaking situation. They embraced the heat that grew hotter in my body, the hatred for whoever did this robbery, is gonna pay! After a few hours, I reached a conclusion, and asked myself. "Who knows me best and would want to take me down?" And, it hit me! Literally, a flyer hit me in the head. I ripped the piece of paper off my mask and read it slowly. "Hillary Clinton.." I pumped my shotgun that came out of nowhere and told myself. "I'll kill her!"
Day 6:
With time on my hands, I knew that there was only one way to get close to Hillary. To become HILLARY! The original plan was to rip off her face and where it on my mask, but than I noticed she would already be dead and I was probably close to her. So, that was ruled out. But I devised a plan to invite Hillary to my house, with a letter, since I can do anything with this stinkin' phone anyways. The party or killing was planned and the date was tomorrow, and currently, I'm living in a box. My wife left me for that scumbag on Black Market Aisle 2, so currently, I'm alone. But with the night slowly approaching, I knew.. I'm gonna kill Hillary.
Day 7:
The meeting was happening at Chucky Cheese, since Hillary can afford that, plus.. Meh. With a shotgun on my back, I looked at Hillary, with her guards, glaring at me. The man who was manning the prize counter , looked at my shotgun than at me and said. "Well, you walk and look white, so you're probably not gonna do any harm with that shotgun.". And I replied with: "Of course.". I looked at Hillary, than at her child. I cocked my shotgun and shot the child, blasting his head off. "MY BABY!!" Hillary screamed. "Oh come on! He's like, what? Seven? You gotta let go sometime!" I replied. The guards started to get ready to shoot, but than I blasted them right off the ground, at the same time. It's called reflexes. Pumping the shotgun one more time, I shot Hillary in the head, watching her brains blow out. With everyone else in the building, throwing a few grenades didn't hurt. With everyone dead but the man behind the prize counter, I approach him and he asks: "Would you like to get something?" And I replied with: "Yes, what can I get with like.. 19 bloody tickets?" The man looked under the prize counter, and picked out a small plastic ring."You can get this right here." He said. "Is there anything special about it?" I asked. "Uh.. It sparkles." The man replied, showing it off. "Meh. Okay." I take the ring and put it on my pointer finger, watching it.. It didn't sparkle. "YOU LIAR!!" I cocked my shotgun and tried to fire, only finding I was out of shells. "One sec." I load my shotgun back up and blast his head open. And walk my way back to the box.
Day 8:
With Hillary gone, Trump gave me a few billion dollars, thanking me for getting rid of her, but competition isn't what I liked, and with Hillary gone, Trump was left. Actually, isn't there someone else? Meh, worry about that later. My sweet flamethrower came back to me, giving me a warm blast of heat, and I hugged it back. With my honey back, I burned my way through Trump Enterprises and burned Trump to crisps, taking over his tower and renaming it to: Pyro Enterprises. With the period included, so I don't hit any trademarks. With that out of the way, it was finally time to manufacture more things. Things such as, Posters, Hats, Top Hats. I especially like this Top Hat:
But than again, maybe I'm just bloating. Or growing fat, with CASH! I did sorta gain more weight, but not enough that I'd qualify for one of those most fat tv shows. Those are just shameful, and disgraceful to the Pyro family. And with the Pyro family, I have a meeting arranged with them, as they are my family.
Day 9:
With Election Day tomorrow, I decided to meet up with my family, which included: @Shammy the Shamrock @YoungX @TheTraveller and Me! We all discussed how I was gonna be the new president of America and how I'll make it unique again! I can't say good due to it being copyright right now. Actually, with Trump dead, doesn't that make it copyright free? I'll worry about it later. And this is when, I think I reached max happiness with my family.. Mostly because I probably killed the real ones and replaced them with robots that have a happiness system... I probably don't want to ponder on it for too long, the dinner is great! Tastes like fresh skin! Oh god.
Day 10:
With this being Election Day, I went on multiple talk shows, bribed multiple people, and did whatnot. To ensure I got the most votes, and so... I went on the podium, hugged Obama, probably making him sick in the process with my brand new suit: Exhibit A:
It's a really, very beautiful suit. And with that, I stood tall on the podium, looking at all the people, cheering on with their classy cardboard pictures of my campaign slogan, which is nothing by the way. And with that, I spoke proudly, discussing the issues of the world and how I'll fix it, I didn't get a proper recording but everyone should get the idea. And, with that.. I waited. And with no one else to vote for, I WON! With a landslide of thousands and millions of voters, all cheering me on!
Than Russia declared war on us, and I burned the whole country of Russia down to the GROUND! Yeh.
--------------------------------
That was my life story, cuz I got kicked out of the White House due to me having too big a grill party and burning it down. So, Congress voted me off the board and never allowed to do anything political for the next 4 years. Yay.
