(Non-Canonical) Exalted DeathMatch!

What group should Silence In Daylight work for?

  • Ligier Enterprises, a division of Malfeas, Inc.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • The Steam Faction

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
Some days, I'd like to work for Noi... but on occasion, yeah, I could see myself subcontracting for Adjoran.  Or the Malfeans, for that matter...


But working for the Neverborn wasn't an option, and rightfully so.  Who wants to share an office with Moliated fanatics and pampered goth-boy princesses?  Fuck that.  Give me the brass-and-balefire delights of the Demon City any day.
 
Some days, I'd like to work for Noi... but on occasion, yeah, I could see myself subcontracting for Adjoran.  Or the Malfeans, for that matter...
But working for the Neverborn wasn't an option, and rightfully so.  Who wants to share an office with Moliated fanatics and pampered goth-boy princesses?  Fuck that.  Give me the brass-and-balefire delights of the Demon City any day.
Click to expand...
 At least your bosses will never yell at you...
 
And let's face it, you get the free makeover.  WHO doesn't want a free make over?


Communists, that's who.  Communists and Trade Unionists.  Unsavory and unpleasant types who Hate America and all that it stands for.


The glories of Malfeas are for those who aspire to be the Rock Gods of the Next Cycle.  


Come, and bring the rock.
 
With communism, there is at least a pretense of camaderie and equality (or at least propaganda to that effect).


The Yozis have a caste system, delineated mostly by power. Those at the top of the pyramid rule by absolute fiat. Hmm...that's an oligarchy, if I remember my governments.
 
Yep, the Yozi's hold the keys and NO ONE can ever step out of line. Not the Thirds, or the Seconds, especially their pet Infernals.
 
Lies.  All lies. And worse, lies from those who haven't bothered to read our mission statement, so they are lies born of willful ignorance.


Yes, there is a strict need for a chain of command--we are, after all, at war with the Gods still.  And during times of war, sacrifices must be made, but to truly understand where we're coming from, you really should read our mission statement, fully.


*hands SiD a copy of The Broken-Winged Crane*


Go ahead and take a good look, especially the fine print.  We want you to be sure that you are ready to accept the grave responsibilities that working for the Returned Master brings.  It isn't all lust demons and torturing miscreants who have evaded justice, but I think upon careful consideration of our Mission Statement, you will find that there is great compensation for your time and trouble...


Take your time with that, and let us know what you think after you go through the fine print.  We really do encourage you to peruse the volume fully, out of a sense of responsibility, and in the spirit of full disclosure.
 
Lies.  All lies. And worse, lies from those who haven't bothered to read our mission statement, so they are lies born of willful ignorance.
Yes, there is a strict need for a chain of command--we are, after all, at war with the Gods still.  And during times of war, sacrifices must be made, but to truly understand where we're coming from, you really should read our mission statement, fully.


*hands SiD a copy of The Broken-Winged Crane*


Go ahead and take a good look, especially the fine print.  We want you to be sure that you are ready to accept the grave responsibilities that working for the Returned Master brings.  It isn't all lust demons and torturing miscreants who have evaded justice, but I think upon careful consideration of our Mission Statement, you will find that there is great compensation for your time and trouble...


Take your time with that, and let us know what you think after you go through the fine print.  We really do encourage you to peruse the volume fully, out of a sense of responsibility, and in the spirit of full disclosure.
Click to expand...
 [flips open BWC to the second page]


 The Li's'tayin translation? Do you truly think so little of me?


 I can understand not offering me the original text--ivory panels a meter square are hard to manipulate--but not the first transcription by Midele? Or even the first translation by The Lost Sage?
 
I offer you a working copy.  Something that you can go over with ease.  


If you want to peruse it further, we can arrange a little trip--think of it as a working holiday.  Bring shorts, and perhaps some lip balm...
 
*Sight-seeing the Yozi Way, see the cool vistas of sparkling essence, the lovely shade of the Ebon Dragon! Hear the stomach beetle bells, come for the Running of Adjoran, the run you'll remember for the rest of your life! Walk the shores of Kimberry Sea! Walk the majestic brass and silver forests of Szoreny! Come for the investments, stay for the pleasure!*
 
There's always room in the glorious realm of Yu-Shan for one with such a glorious past as yourself.


We offer constant enjoyment of the pleasures of existance, both physical and spiritual, a substantial compensation package, as well as an open ended employment with room to expand for the upwardly mobile employee.


You will never be asked to forfeit your soul to your bosses, and may keep all rights and privelages thereof.  We can grant you the same longevity plans as our competitors, with retirement benefits if you need them.


All you have to do is keep up the worship in your assigned area, and we can guarantee you a long and prosperous life*.


And, as a god of death, I am authorized, for a limited time only, to offer you our special '3 Strikes, You're Out' deal.


This deal I speak of will certify that, as long as you are within the Loom of Fate, you will be resurected from final death twice, only dying after the third time your life force is expired.  Each time you are resurected, you will appear in a chamber in Yu-Shan with your personal affects (this includes artifacts, clothing, and significant personal items only) from whence you may go as you wish.


Yu-Shan, Where Men And Gods Can Be Equals.


*Your prosperous life guarantee is only in effect as long as you are not slain in battle, assassinated, or found in violation of any of our more heinous crimes that warrant an execution.
 
You can almost taste the wind.  Actually, if you accept our generous compensation package, we can guarantee that, as well as K'chll* the Essence flows...


*At Ligier Enterprises, we feel that six senses are too limiting, and we are, after all, the faction most concerned with freedom.  In that vein, we generously allow our newest partners and employees a choice of twelve new senses, ten of which have never been offered in the Creation, until now.   Details are confidential, but we feel that K'chll and D''pspqtafjlk are so thrilling and exciting that we can hardly wait to share new vistas with you, and your family.
 
But would you willingly give up your soul to sustain a primordial's appetite?


Would you allow yourself to be absorbed in the throes of the underworld if it destroyed your very being?  Not to mention the possibility of one of your superiors having their way with your body and mind if they so desire...


We offer only freedom and purpose of being here in Yu-Shan.  We will do our best to never decieve you, so that you may make the most of your prefered eternity.


The machine needs your soul to keep it's batteries powered and awaken itself once more.  And Malfaes needs your soul to move one step closer to true oblivion, as the only way that the primordials may be freed is through the destruction of all the realms of reality.


Remember, spirits can't lie, but demons are made for it.
 
*places both on the Balance of Ages* Hmm, both are equal at the moment! We need one more bid from both!!!!!
 
Autocthon:


You gain power, but your position in the heirarchy is well defined and not very mobile.  As for your soul...if the big man gets in the mood, it's off to the refineries for you.


Malfaes:


Your place of power is assured, but at the cost of your soul and your sanity.  Unfortunately, it is nearly imposible to move up into the ranks of the truely powerful, and, if any of your numerous superiors gets the urge, you get to be either their dinner, or their beeech-boy.


But, here in Yu-Shan we can offer you peace of mind, as we will never purposefully endanger your soul and ask that you only do the job assigned.  For as little time as a few hours a week, you can gain unearthly riches, near-supreme power, vast knowledge, and the privilege to party your brains out as often as you are capable of, if you so desire it.


*Hands you the guidlines and laws of Yu-Shan*


As long as you can stay within our rules, you may do anything you wish.
 
*slides note of polite counter offer*


I want Essence 6 at least, a full flock of servitor spirits, three Fire elementals and a God of the lesser lucks with my retinue. Also, I want to be assured a place above most of the pesky little paper pushing Sidereals. I want Ambrosia, cut and coined by my steps every time Quintessence is divided and doled.


Pleasure palaces and seats of power can be bought, so no worries there. I want a five percent share in the Celesital Wine makers and a clutch of trees to be bought and processed under my name.


Take it or I looked for rose tinted sunglasses with the Ebon sigils of Malfeas.
 
* :shock: Stunned look at Cthulu_Wakes as he pulls out the contract and fills in the open areas to your specifications*


An Elder one may be granted anything he requests, your holiness.


If you would sign here, *pointing at the bottom line* stating that you agree to the terms of the contract and that you will not attempt to overthrow Yu-Shan, everything will be taken care of and you will be granted all you have requested, and more.


*thinking of the bonus I'll get from bringing across an Elder One...  I was just trying to convert SiD*
 
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