Long developed character in need of opinions

Mystikelh

Boop-inator
Hi. So this character is my favorite OC. He's pretty old and went through the embarrassing "edgy phase" with me. But I worked a lot on him to make him better and better, and I feel pretty good about how he is right now. Nevertheless, I would appreciate opinions from people who aren't clouded by creator favoritism like I am, haha. Good thing I have this character sheet already all done.
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The character.

Name: Metaralis Outteridge.

Species: Human. (+Voidler)


Gender: Male.


Sexual Orientation: Pansexual.


Age: 25 years old.


Class/Status: Always had to work for what he wanted.


Physical Description: Has a pale white skin, long midnight blue hair, and silver-colored eyes with the pupils barely visible. Is slender (weighs about 85 lbs), and short (5'4''). His nails are thick and sharps. His molars are pointier than normal humans. Has a black mark on his back, running along is spine and spreading on his shoulder blades.


Quirks: Suffers from nosocomephobia (fear of hospitals). Sometimes seems to talk to somebody that isn't there. Eats a lot, much more that you would think for a small man like him. Sleeps a lot and tends to get tired fast. Doesn't know how to swim.


Personality Strengths/Weaknesses:

  • Peak Virtue: Compassion.

     
  • Second-Tier: Courage and Consideration, Cynicism and Resentfulness.

     
  • Third-Tier: Daring, Curiosity, Humility, Stubbornness.



Skills: Swordsman; is very skillful with a sword. Mechanic; is knowledgeable in machinery and advanced technology. Agile and fast; can move easily in flight or on the ground. Pilot; is a very good spaceship pilot.


Education: Stopped going to school at the age of twelve because of the destruction of his home, but has learned a lot of things on his own through his travels from planet to planet.


Likes/Dislikes: Favorite kind of food is sweet. Is very interested in advanced technology. Enjoys stargazing. Likes high places, and flying. Likes to watch TV. Does not enjoy when food is too salty. Is not afraid of water, but does not enjoy being near deep water.


Childhood/Backstory: When he was a child, his planet was attacked by creatures of the void called the Voidlers. He was injured badly in the chaos, but one of those creatures invested his body, keeping him alive. Shortly after, he was found by soldiers before the destruction of his planet.


Upon discovering that one of those creatures was now living in him, he was brought into some kind of medical facility where scientists studied him like some kind of animal with a deadly virus. This made the child very scared, and the creature reacted to protect him. It took possession of the boy and killed all the researchers. Traumatized, the child fled.


Not wanting that to happen again, he hid the existence of the Voidler inside him that he called Wraith. He was still grateful to have it since it was the reason he could still walk and live. To be able to feed himself, he started doing random innocent jobs for people that would gladly give money to a homeless child. But as he grew up a little bit, he wanted to do more. He took the path of the mercenary and learned how to wield weapons, fight, and pilot a ship. Over the years, he gained some reputation and connections to find more interesting contracts.


During a contract, he crossed paths with another mercenary named Delastarh. They decided to work together for this contract, figuring it would be easier like that. A bond formed between the two, and they decided to continue to work together as a pair.


Profession: Mercenary.


Relationships: Is very close to Delastarh, his best friend and partner.


Location: Travels a lot.


Time Period: A distant future where traveling through the galaxy, colonizing planets, and interacting with alien species has become possible and a normal thing.


Religious Beliefs: Does not believe in any divinity, but respect people who do.


Fantastical Traits:

  • Symbiosis: The user is able to become the host to another being or entity that lives in or on the user's body and generally grants them enhanced condition and new abilities.
     
  • Body Manipulation: User can grow additional appendages and body-parts, remove them or otherwise manipulate bodies, in visible, chemical and cellular/sub-cellular levels. User can grow additional appendages and body-parts, remove them or otherwise manipulate bodies, in visible, chemical and cellular/sub-cellular levels.











  • Enhanced Durability: The user's physical durability (ability to endure/resist damage) is extremely high, allowing them to take numerous blows of internal or external assaults before succumbing to the effects.




About the Voidlers (Original species):
The Voidlers, as the name suggests, are creatures from the void. They cross into our universe through black holes, and some even speculate that they are somehow their creators. Without real form and more resembling slimy shadows, they devour everything. In swarms, they can even make a whole planet vanish. This has made them a very dangerous enemy to the whole galaxy, and more.

Not much is known about the Voidlers, though. Their composition makes them impossible to be captured at the moment, so they can't be studied by scientists. What is known is that they can absorb anything to grow and become stronger. They can also, strangely enough, take control of a living being and deform its body to fight. Theories say that the reason of this possession is that they can't stay in our universe for too long. But the host dies pretty fast because of the energy used and pain inflicted by those deformations. Observations point to the possibility of the Voidlers working as a hive mind, with some controlling the others. But it is unknown if those ones are more sentient and/or intelligent.

Wraith is an unusual case. Given this name by its host, Metaralis, they developed a symbiosis over the years. Metaralis can use Wraith's powers and Wraith feeds off Metaralis' energy to continue to live. This makes his host more endurant and powerful than normal humans but causes him to become easily tired and his body to not develop normally. Wraith doesn't think or isn't intelligent enough to communicate and feel. It can still understand his host's wellbeing and will do everything to keep him alive.

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There you go. What do you think?
 
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Greetings and salutations.  Also, congratulations!  The cringe factor is not very high with this one.  I half expected it after your comment about an edgy/emo-phase.  I do believe that this fellah needs a little more details, though.  So, here are some random thoughts about several topics. 

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual.



Unless you to use this term to state that he'd do humans and aliens alike, I see little use for pansexuality  Perhaps that's just because I'm a dinosaur, but there's heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality.  The whole gender-identity classification thing going on nowadays is the new 'emo'-trend ( in my opinion).  Consider refactoring this part to be inclusive in the universe(s) in which you wish to employ the character.  


Also consider how the presence of the symbiote affects his sexuality, behaviour in terms of sexuality and what happens if he were to produce offspring?   This ties in to the descriptions of the voidlers. Something to think about.


Edit:  I forgot asexuality.  

Skills: Swordsman; is very skillful with a sword. Mechanic; is knowledgeable in machinery and advanced technology. Agile and fast; can move easily in flight or on the ground. Pilot; is a very good spaceship pilot.



Swordsmanship might not be the preferable mechanic to use for this character.  While plausible, consider his other skills.  He's a mechanic and a pilot.  He has blunt objects like hammers and wrenches on his person, more than sharp objects.  Perhaps using those or variations thereof as weapons is more suitable ( and original)? Perhaps the use of engineered peripherals such as improvised explosives, drones, etc.  

Education: Stopped going to school at the age of twelve because of the destruction of his home, but has learned a lot of things on his own through his travels from planet to planet.

In light of his specialized skills, consider detailing how he was educated as a pilot/engineer. You don't learn that sort of thing just like that.  

During a contract, he crossed paths with another mercenary named Delastarh. They decided to work together for this contract, figuring it would be easier like that. A bond formed between the two, and they decided to continue to work together as a pair.

This part needs a lot more detail.  Why did they decide to work together?  What were they doing?  What made this bond come into existence?  etc.  

  • Symbiosis: The user is able to become the host to another being or entity that lives in or on the user's body and generally grants them enhanced condition and new abilities.
     
  • Body Manipulation: User can grow additional appendages and body-parts, remove them or otherwise manipulate bodies, in visible, chemical and cellular/sub-cellular levels. User can grow additional appendages and body-parts, remove them or otherwise manipulate bodies, in visible, chemical and cellular/sub-cellular levels.











  • Enhanced Durability: The user's physical durability (ability to endure/resist damage) is extremely high, allowing them to take numerous blows of internal or external assaults before succumbing to the effects.

For all of these, going off of the description of the 'voidlers', perhaps explain at least partially why this specific being is far more beneign and symbiotic.  Consider first writing more details on the voidlers, then expanding on this part of the character.  Why isn't he being consumed?  Possibilities such as 'the being cannot return to it's natural habitat' and variations thereof could play a part, or disconnection from the hive mind, etc.  Explain why a parasitic being is not following its instinct, but exists as a symbiote instead.  Perhaps because it was changed/damaged/only a part of a voidler.  

Physical Description: Has a pale white skin, long midnight blue hair, and silver-colored eyes with the pupils barely visible. Is slender (weighs about 85 lbs), and short (5'4''). His nails are thick and sharps. His molars are pointier than normal humans. Has a black mark on his back, running along is spine and spreading on his shoulder blades.

Make sure to include the influence of the symbiote on his physical appearance, I suspect the eyes and claws are a side-effect?


Hope these comments help out in some way.  Have fun. :)  
 
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