Jesus of Suburbia

[erikalalove]

"Well, you know, homecoming is next weekend." Irene didn't think that Jimmy was the type to buy into the high school dance hype, but she thought that she would ask anyways. "If you're not doing anything, I was wondering if you'd want to go with me? As friends, of course." She rushed that last part, not looking to him as she waited for an answer. If he said no, she would just go with Marlee and Cass; she wouldn't be upset if he shot her down.

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy looked down at the steering wheel really not expecting him to be asked to any high school gathering ever. It seemed like it would be cool to go but he didn't know if he could bring himself to it. That wasn't his thing really. "You know I'd love to go, but I don't think I can. Not because I physically can't but because I've been to homecoming with the same person for 3 years and I don't really want to be thinking about that kind of stuff any time soon. I'm really sorry." He decided to be honest since they were both being hella honest lately. 

 

[erikalalove]

Hearing him speak up again actually startled Irene a bit because of the silence that had settled in. She looked back to him and flashed her smile. "Hey, I totally get it. Don't be sorry. I just wanted to ask." She felt a lot better after hearing his reasoning, and she elbowed him softly to really show there were no hard feelings. "If your school has that cheap, girl-ask-guy matching t-shirt dance,maybe we can do that. If you don't get sick of me by then." She looked out the windshield as he turned onto her street. "I hope I didn't make our friendship weird by asking." 

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy had stayed home on homecoming night. He thought he would spend the night with his mom or something but she was working. She had just gotten hired at the hospital as a receptionist and often did graveyard shifts. But she usually didn't come home right away anyways. So who knew when she would be back. The house was lonely for once. Which is what he didn't want. Usually he would be glad but not tonight. When he was a freshman the first time he revealed he liked Jade was at homecoming. He had asked her to go and well things went pretty well. In simple terms, they didn't leave it all at homecoming. So tonight was hard for him. The only reason why they went back because of how amazing of a night it was before. He went to his mother's liquor cabinet. He figured that alcohol wouldn't show up on any drug tests. So he began pounding shots of whiskey and vodka until he felt better. He put on his music loud enough so he wouldn't get a noise disturbance from the neighbors. In 30 minutes or so he was drunk, But it wasn't enough as he kept going. He didn't even want to be able to walk. He laid on his couch with the bottle of Jack Daniels next to him on the floor. He ditched the shot glasses and opted to drink straight from the bottle. He left the front door open because it felt nice outside but shut the screen door. Tonight sucked but he probably wouldn't remember it.

 

[erikalalove]

Irene's father gifted her enough money to get a cheaper homecoming dress, a ticket for the dance, and dinner for herself, and she couldn't thank him enough. He also promised to get Carrie out of the house for the night so they couldn't fight that night, which made her even happier. After they left, she fixed herself up and finished a few minutes before Marlee honked her horn outside. They were all decently broke high school girls so they went to a cheap Chinese restaurant for dinner before driving off to the dance. The girls got in without a problem, and although Irene couldn't take pictures in the venue and checked her camera in with their purses and coats, it was an unforgettable night. Marlee, Cass, and Irene visited the photo booth several times, cycling through the props; danced without any dates, and had their pictures professionally taken together.


The night flew by, and as they went out to the car, she thought of Jimmy. She wasn't when he let her down, but she wondered if she had hurt him more by bringing up Jade and how he was handling the night. Although she knew that she would regret it, Irene asked Marlee if she could drop her off at Jimmy's house, and the two girls immediately started bombarding her with jokes and questions of their close friendship. Marlee admitted she didn't know his exact address, she let Irene off at the corner near his house, and after waving goodbye, she heard familiar music and decided to follow it. As she approached the source, she spotted Jimmy's car parked in front of a house with the front screen door shut. Irene walked up and knocked on the metal frame of the door. "Jimmy? You here? Can I come in?" She called. After no answer, she peered through the screen and found him laying on the couch with a bottle half-empty. She panicked and let herself in, turning his music down first just enough so he could hear her. "Jimmy, are you okay?" Irene asked, standing by the couch.

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy was half awake when Irene came. He didn't know where she came from. He just knew that he was incredibly happy to see her. "H-hey Irene." He had a toothy grin. "Why did you turn my music off? Don't you like The Clash?" Jimmy stood up. He almost tripped but then caught himself last second as he saw the wave of worry go over Irene's face. He chuckled as if he found it funny. He walked slowly to the stereo trying not to bump into anything. Once he reached the stereo he put the volume back to where he had it. "Don't t-t-turn it off please." He plopped back down on the couch and motioned Irene to sit down with him. "What are you doing here?" He threw his hands down on his lap. "Never mind. I know what. You missed me! Or maybe you heard I had Jack. Do you want some?" He said motioning his head toward the floor where his bottle was. 


Jimmy looked over to Irene. He didn't really allow her to speak much between each of his speech. "You are so beautiful tonight. Well not that you aren't always beautiful. I wish I had my camera." He probably smelled of alcohol and sweat but that didn't matter. He didn't care. "I should have went to the dance with you. Look at you. Everyone would have been jealous." He went over to his bed room, Irene going with him to make sure that he didn't fall and bust his head. His room was kind of messy, but he had his own bathroom. He went to his desk and picked up his camera. He snapped a quick picture of Irene, not caring whether or not she was prepared. After a few moments of standing dizzily he ran over to the bathroom and lodged his head in the toilet. He began puking and in moments he felt Irene behind him with a hand on his back. 

 

[erikalalove]

After the first two words out of his mouth, Irene already knew he was drunk out of his mind. His mother and her boyfriend didn't appear to be around, so she guessed he was drinking alone to deal with bad memories that came with homecoming. "Sorry, I didn't know if you could hear me," she said, watching him in disbelief and worry as he wandered to the stereo and back. "Okay, I won't," she promised. She sat with him, but before she could get another word out, he was babbling again. "I'm okay, but I just--" Jimmy cut her off, going on and on about how she looked and how he should've gone with her. As his alcohol-stained compliments kept coming, she tried to get through to him again and again before he was off to his room. "Jimmy," she called, half-frustrated and half-worried, leaving her coat and bag on the couch. Not wanting him to fall through the wall, she went after him. "Did you just--" Irene started to ask if he had 'sneakily' taken a picture of her, but before she could finish, he was off puking in his bathroom. Sighing, she kneeled next to him in the bathroom, rubbing his back gently to try to comfort him. "Oh, Jimmy," she murmured under her breath, more to herself than to him as she shook her head. 

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy finished puking. He breathed heavily and then stood back up. "I feel a lot better." Even though he was still really drunk he had the common courtesy to use mouth wash in front of Irene. He sat down on his bed as Irene sat with him. "I'm so sorry." He told her. "I know I look like an idiot but I wasn't expecting you to be here and it's just supposed to be me here and I just thought it would be okay if I got black out drunk to help me forget about tonight and well everyday because everyday sucks." He rubbed his eyes a little bit. "Tonight three years ago was the first time me and Jade hooked up after homecoming." He seemed to talk slower. Even when he was drunk and speaking irregularly. He began crying. Without thinking about it he threw his arms around her and dug his face into her shoulder. He felt her arms wrap around him too. "I'm so sorry." He choked. "It must be so hard to be around someone like me. I don't give anything away and I don't do anything productive. I'm just a stupid junkie you should be around someone who is way cooler than me. Your parents would hate me. Everyone hates me. My parents even hate me." He confessed everything like a drunken idiot would. And the saddest part was that he felt like everything he was saying was the truth. That's what alcohol did to him. 

 

[erikalalove]

People vomiting didn't bother Irene so she cleaned up a little and flushed after he got up. "It's okay, really," she assured him as she rubbed his back. She tried to follow up and apologize for just showing up at his doorstep uninvited, but he interrupted her again and kept his drunken babble. It hit her all at once, everything that Jimmy felt about his ex-girlfriend and their friendship and himself, and all she could do for him was hug him in return and let him get it all out, like he had done for her a few weeks ago. After his sobs grew quieter, she decided to take her chance to talk, even if he was better with words than she was. 


"Don't be sorry, Jimmy. If anything, I should say sorry for just showing up without asking." Irene spoke softly, still hugging him loosely so he could break away if he wanted to. "No one hates you. Even if you think so, I don't hate you, and your other friends don't hate you either." She pulled back a bit so she could see his face and gauge his reaction. "You're a really good friend. My mom would have liked you a lot if she had met you." Sighing sadly, she rubbed his back again as he continued sniffling. "I'm sorry that some people can't see how cool you are and just shit on you. That doesn't make you a bad person, Jimmy."

 

[Juliolele]

"It must be so embarrassing for you." He pulled Irene close again when she started to back away. "One of your only friends is a stupid punk. Just look at how ridiculous I am. I look like an idiot and my hair is always crazy colors. I do this because it's to scare people away and you see me and you just think I'm so great. I can tell. I think you're great too." He cried for a few more minutes. 


Jimmy didn't speak after that. For once in a very long time someone had seen him break down. Which wasn't anywhere near as bad as his sober break downs. The drunk break down was something that was completely different and in a way more controlled. He still said what he felt though. "Thank you." He said as he laid on his bed. "Please don't leave." He told Irene as he wasn't even sure if he was going to remember what had happened the next day. He shut his eyes and let the alcohol do the rest of the work for him. He last remembered Irene draping a blanket over him and then the weight of her body filling the space next to him. 

 

[erikalalove]

Irene laughed under her breath as he pulled her in closer. She couldn't find the words nor the energy to argue with him anymore, and she knew that it wouldn't matter anyways. While he cried on her shoulder for a few more minutes, she continued rubbing his back and generally comforting him. It broke her heart to see him in tears over so many different things.


After he backed away from the hug and didn't speak for a while, Irene started to clean up a little. She turned off the stereo in the living room, placed the bottles back where she assumed they belonged, left the shot glasses in the sink, closed and locked the front door, and grabbed her things before walking back to his room. Irene suggested he sleep, and she started to put her coat on to walk home before he asked her to stay. She looked to him seriously for a long minute, and she knew that she couldn't stop taking care of him now. She found a t-shirt of his, vanishing to the bathroom to change from the dress to his shirt, and when she came back, he was already almost asleep. Irene turned off the light, covered him with a blanket, found one for herself, and laid down next to him. What the hell am I doing here, Irene thought as she looked to Jimmy. His hangover would probably be his worst yet, and he probably would forget everything, but that was okay. She was just glad that he was safe. Soon, she fell asleep as well, hoping her father and Carrie wouldn't notice her absence.

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy woke up in the morning. No one is home because he would have been woken up by his mom and her boyfriend yelling or something. He looked over and saw Irene laying next to him. He was shocked for a second and then remembered her coming over and that he had asked her to stay. How stupid was he? Not that he would have been in trouble or anything if someone found her there but he still could have gotten her in trouble. Maybe she actually is in trouble. Jimmy shook Irene gently until she was awake. He had realized that she was wearing one of his shirts and no pants. That didn't seem too good. 

 

[erikalalove]

Irene felt someone gently nudging her, and because she was so used to Carrie waking her up in new, cruel ways, her adrenaline rushed through her, waking her up quickly. Once she saw Jimmy instead of her stepmother, she was relieved and stretched her arms over her head as she yawned. She had actually slept well, her energy completely spent at the dance and taking care of him. "Morning, Jimmy." She said as she rubbed her eyes. "How're you feeling?" Based on how drunk he was the night before, she expected him to have his worst hangover yet, and she didn't know if he would want her to continue taking care of him or to just get lost. 

 

[Juliolele]

"Did we uh..." Jimmy hesitated and swallowed a little bit. "... have sex?" He said after a few moments. He had hoped that he didn't do anything too stupid. Calling her pretty or whatever isn't really a big deal but if he did things that he didn't even remember he can be in deep trouble. Jimmy noticed he was still wearing clothes though. That didn't mean it wasn't possible. Hopefully she didn't get drunk with him because she thought it would be a good idea or something. Then possibly they could have made a few mistakes. And he wasn't ready for any kind of emotional attachment. 

 

[erikalalove]

Irene laughed nervously. "No, nonono. We didn't." She shook her head, driving the point home. "I'm not surprised you don't remember much, though. I came over after homecoming, let myself in, you were drunk, threw up in your bathroom, and when you were falling asleep, you wanted me to stay so I did." She, of course, left out the parts of him crying, telling her how beautiful she was, and how he regretted rejecting her homecoming proposal. "Are you hungover, like at all?"

 

[Juliolele]

"I have a slight head ache and I feel a little dehydrated but I should be good." One of the perks of constantly abusing substances. He didn't say that part out loud though. He made sure he was wearing clothes before he rushed to the bathroom. He knew he said some dumb things but he wasn't sure if he could remember them all. He went back to his bed room still feeling a bit awkward. "Um, you didn't have to stay you know. Despite what my drunk self said." He felt hella embarrassed. No one was supposed to see him like that. 

 

[erikalalove]

"That's good," Irene mused. When he ran off to the bathroom, she took her chance, standing up and wrapping the blanket around her shoulders like a cape before sitting on his bed. "Well..." She thought about it for a while, then shrugged. "I didn't have a ride home, and you looked pretty bad last night. Believe me, I had my coat on and everything." Irene looked to him. "But you asked me to stay. So I did."

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy honestly didn't remember asking Irene to stay at all. Well whatever happened already happened and there wasn't really anything to do at this point. As long as they didn't do anything stupid they should both be good. "Make sure you tell your friends you went home last night." He didn't care what they said about him but the last thing he wanted was there to be rumors about Irene that would embarrass her. Not that he thought she was embarrassed of him but that can't be good either way. 

 

[erikalalove]

Irene was surprised at how Jimmy brushed off the past twelve hours, especially after all of the compliments and hugs; of course, he probably didn't remember most of that, but that didn't mean that she didn't. She felt her hands get warm as she stood up from his bed, the blanket still wrapped around her. "Why should I tell them that?" She asked with a slight scowl. "Who cares if I stayed here last night? I thought you didn't give a shit about what other people said."

 

[Juliolele]

Jimmy sighed and put his head in his hands. He knew what he said had come out wrong as soon as her tone of voice had changed. "It's not like that, Irene." He got up too happy the he had clothes on from last night. "I don't care about what people think about ME. But I know you care, at least in some way, about what your friends think about you. I know you think you can trust them, and maybe you can, but you know they have a loud mouth. You don't want people talking about things that never happened. I've been there it's annoying." 

 

[erikalalove]

"I don't care." Irene shrugged. "Marlee and Cass are my friends, I guess, but they don't even know about my mom. I don't know, we just talk about surface stuff: guys, clothes, grades." Once she had realized how wrong about Jimmy Marlee had been, she stopped telling her as much, regardless of whether it included Jimmy or not. Marlee was a temporary acquaintance, but not a forever friend. "And who cares? I'm only going to be here for another semester, and I'll move far, far away from here. But," she got back on track, "I won't tell them if you don't want me to. But only if you let me borrow some sweats and drive me either home or to get breakfast." Irene grinned. She appreciated that he was looking out for her, even if it was over something dumb.