JTCRASH
New Member
So I made a self-insert character (Yes I know that rpers hate self-inserts, but screw it I really like this character) along with some other ocs that were made to rp in this rp fandom server on Discord based on the webcomic called Awaken. Long story short, I got benched because my characters have too many problems, and I need help fixing them. These are my first ever official ocs, so they are full of flaws but I don't think that they're irredemable. So can you guys please help me out? I'd like some explaination with your feedback, and any feedback is welcome, regardless of if you've read the webcomic or not.
Here are there bios (I've removed the webcomic-specific information to make it easier for everyone to understand):
Name: John Legend (NOT THAT JOHN LEGEND!)
Age: 21
Birth Date: 5/17/96
Gender: Male
Height: 5’ 8”
Weight: 176 lbs.
Skin tone: Light brown
Hair color/style: Short black curly hair
Eye color: Brown
Clothing:/Accessories: Black t-shirt with blue jeans and black sneakers. Also wears a utility belt with various tools, a black katana with a matching sheath, a black blunt katana, a pair of black headphones that are around his neck when he's not using them, and a backpack. He also has a combat suit, but he only wears it when he knows that he's going to fight.
Personality: A open-minded intelligent man who’s been through all kinds of experiences. Therefore, he understands people very well and is good at understanding other people’s perspectives. He also hates lying in any sort of way and will tell people exactly how he sees something. He usually wants all the facts in any situation before making his move
3 Strengths: Smart, very social, and extremely strong
3 Weakness: Stubborn, sometimes gets obsessed with things, and is brutally honest
Occupation: Traveler, aberration exterminator
Backstory: As someone who has grown up with machines, Legend is someone who has extensive knowledge and skills when it comes to any sort of machinery. He has trained his body, so he is unusually strong and resilient compared to other people. He has had a martial arts teacher in the past, but now he spends his time either killing aberrations, doing research, or building something
Name: Razulla "Goku" Wukong
Age: 32
Birthdate: 10/22/85
Gender: Female
Height: 5' 5"
Weight: 150 lbs.
Skin tone: Pale
Hair color/style: Black and is usually in a bun behind her head. Her hair is shoulder length if it isn't in a bun
Eye color: Light green
Clothing/Accessories: A red combat qipao that has a gold outline and a golden dragon pattern near the right shoulder. She also wears red shorts with then since it's similar to Chun Li's. She wears tight flexible shoes that are meant for combat. She has two red ovals above her eyes that's basically a permanent tattoo. She also has a red staff that can extend to great lengths or can contract. She also has a sling to hold her staff as well as a small bag
Personality: As someone who has always been a lone wolf for the majority of her life, she’s completely closed off from most people and has only recently started opening up to people. Has a cruel outlook in everything and is mostly cold hearted. She is extremely blunt with strangers
3 Strengths: Highly skilled, very practical, and very straight-forward
3 Weakness: Cruel, cold-hearted, and lacks some social skills
Occupation: Master martial artist/teacher of hand-to-hand combat
Backstory: Witnessing the murder of entire family, Razulla has always been cold and cruel lone wolf as a result of that tragic event. She's only recently started taking interest in socializing with other people as a result of a specific student that she had in the past
Name: Sasef
Age: 20(?)
Birthdate: ???
Gender: Female
Height: 4’ 6”
Weight: Maybe 145 lbs?
Skin tone: Pale
Hair color/style: Black hair with white tips. Her hair just goes past her shoulders
Eye color: Light blue
Clothing:/Accessories: Wears thick, grey bracelets on both of her hands. Wears a black leather jacket with blue jeans and black boots. Has small skull earrings. Also usually has black eyeliner. She has small metal balls that she can use as projectiles
Flux color: Dark blue
Flux type: CR-type
Flux abilities: Can move and manipulate objects as well as living people. She can do stuff like move objects around, crush large objects into a ball, stop bullets in mid air and shoot the back, and basically whatever a telekinetic user can do. Although doing something like crushing someone into a ball requires her to overpower their FOA if they have it activated. She can also move herself with her abilities to some degree.
Personality: A woman who’s extremely prideful in themselves. She thinks that everyone is beneath her in every aspect, but she isn’t arrogant enough to not realize true skill when she sees it. She’ll get mad whenever she’s outmatched in anything that she takes pride in
3 Strengths: Extremely smart, observant, and can judge people really well
3 Weakness: Stubborn, self-centered, and a overconfident at times
Occupation: ????
Backstory: The majority of her background is shrouded in mystery. She has lost the majority of her memory and only remembers bits and pieces. All that she knows is that she was born in [redacted], but she doesn't remember the circumstances. She only really remembers something about some sort of lab, and something about a [redacted] experiment. She doesn’t even remember much about her childhood. Everything past the age of 7 is a complete mystery to her.
Here are there bios (I've removed the webcomic-specific information to make it easier for everyone to understand):
Name: John Legend (NOT THAT JOHN LEGEND!)
Age: 21
Birth Date: 5/17/96
Gender: Male
Height: 5’ 8”
Weight: 176 lbs.
Skin tone: Light brown
Hair color/style: Short black curly hair
Eye color: Brown
Clothing:/Accessories: Black t-shirt with blue jeans and black sneakers. Also wears a utility belt with various tools, a black katana with a matching sheath, a black blunt katana, a pair of black headphones that are around his neck when he's not using them, and a backpack. He also has a combat suit, but he only wears it when he knows that he's going to fight.
Personality: A open-minded intelligent man who’s been through all kinds of experiences. Therefore, he understands people very well and is good at understanding other people’s perspectives. He also hates lying in any sort of way and will tell people exactly how he sees something. He usually wants all the facts in any situation before making his move
3 Strengths: Smart, very social, and extremely strong
3 Weakness: Stubborn, sometimes gets obsessed with things, and is brutally honest
Occupation: Traveler, aberration exterminator
Backstory: As someone who has grown up with machines, Legend is someone who has extensive knowledge and skills when it comes to any sort of machinery. He has trained his body, so he is unusually strong and resilient compared to other people. He has had a martial arts teacher in the past, but now he spends his time either killing aberrations, doing research, or building something
Name: Razulla "Goku" Wukong
Age: 32
Birthdate: 10/22/85
Gender: Female
Height: 5' 5"
Weight: 150 lbs.
Skin tone: Pale
Hair color/style: Black and is usually in a bun behind her head. Her hair is shoulder length if it isn't in a bun
Eye color: Light green
Clothing/Accessories: A red combat qipao that has a gold outline and a golden dragon pattern near the right shoulder. She also wears red shorts with then since it's similar to Chun Li's. She wears tight flexible shoes that are meant for combat. She has two red ovals above her eyes that's basically a permanent tattoo. She also has a red staff that can extend to great lengths or can contract. She also has a sling to hold her staff as well as a small bag
Personality: As someone who has always been a lone wolf for the majority of her life, she’s completely closed off from most people and has only recently started opening up to people. Has a cruel outlook in everything and is mostly cold hearted. She is extremely blunt with strangers
3 Strengths: Highly skilled, very practical, and very straight-forward
3 Weakness: Cruel, cold-hearted, and lacks some social skills
Occupation: Master martial artist/teacher of hand-to-hand combat
Backstory: Witnessing the murder of entire family, Razulla has always been cold and cruel lone wolf as a result of that tragic event. She's only recently started taking interest in socializing with other people as a result of a specific student that she had in the past
Name: Sasef
Age: 20(?)
Birthdate: ???
Gender: Female
Height: 4’ 6”
Weight: Maybe 145 lbs?
Skin tone: Pale
Hair color/style: Black hair with white tips. Her hair just goes past her shoulders
Eye color: Light blue
Clothing:/Accessories: Wears thick, grey bracelets on both of her hands. Wears a black leather jacket with blue jeans and black boots. Has small skull earrings. Also usually has black eyeliner. She has small metal balls that she can use as projectiles
Flux color: Dark blue
Flux type: CR-type
Flux abilities: Can move and manipulate objects as well as living people. She can do stuff like move objects around, crush large objects into a ball, stop bullets in mid air and shoot the back, and basically whatever a telekinetic user can do. Although doing something like crushing someone into a ball requires her to overpower their FOA if they have it activated. She can also move herself with her abilities to some degree.
Personality: A woman who’s extremely prideful in themselves. She thinks that everyone is beneath her in every aspect, but she isn’t arrogant enough to not realize true skill when she sees it. She’ll get mad whenever she’s outmatched in anything that she takes pride in
3 Strengths: Extremely smart, observant, and can judge people really well
3 Weakness: Stubborn, self-centered, and a overconfident at times
Occupation: ????
Backstory: The majority of her background is shrouded in mystery. She has lost the majority of her memory and only remembers bits and pieces. All that she knows is that she was born in [redacted], but she doesn't remember the circumstances. She only really remembers something about some sort of lab, and something about a [redacted] experiment. She doesn’t even remember much about her childhood. Everything past the age of 7 is a complete mystery to her.
