Experiences Have you ever felt so badly about your writing that you weren't able to post?

[Walliver]

Hey guys. Not to make it about me, but someone struck a real blow to my writing confidence today. I was busy, had better things to do than roleplay. I didn't have any time. And, when they said I couldn't be on their rp anymore, it really hurt. So has this happened to anyone else? If so, would you care to share? I find wallowing in misery is much more enjoyable when not alone.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I mean not gonna lie that sounds like kinda of a dick move on behalf of the GM.

I have been roleplaying for a long time and I have never ever seen someone get kicked out because they had a bad day. At worst the GM/partner usually just asks for the post to be redone.

I think the only time someone kicked me out for bad writing was in the application process. When I first started out I would try to join roleplays that (looking back) where above my writing ability.

And yeah it sucked, because no one likes to hear they aren’t up to snuff. But with experience I can appreciate the honesty, as I would have hated to be put into a position where I was holding everyone back.

 

[R.Storytale]

It totally does effect my writing. Sometimes my work (more so as of late due to being short staffed to hell) has been murdering my muse. Fortunately my partner is so understanding and I love em. But I'm sorry the GM did that! Real life does get in the way and honestly, with the world's current state, who isn't busy these days?!

But I've been kicked out before but in my experience, I wasn't told. I merely assumed that the RP was dropped but wayyyyyyy later was told because one of the writers did not like my writing. Ouch, yet I think it would've hurt a lot less if I told I sucked than not being told at all and having it be carried on without me. Can't improve, if I'm not called out on it, is my way of going about it.

Which makes rereading my early posts help me grow quite a bit! Like its total cringe, but I'm a step above than where I had started and that's what counts. Hugs to you hun.

 

[Walliver]

It totally does effect my writing. Sometimes my work (more so as of late due to being short staffed to hell) has been murdering my muse. Fortunately my partner is so understanding and I love em. But I'm sorry the GM did that! Real life does get in the way and honestly, with the world's current state, who isn't busy these days?!

But I've been kicked out before but in my experience, I wasn't told. I merely assumed that the RP was dropped but wayyyyyyy later was told because one of the writers did not like my writing. Ouch, yet I think it would've hurt a lot less if I told I sucked than not being told at all and having it be carried on without me. Can't improve, if I'm not called out on it, is my way of going about it.

Which makes rereading my early posts help me grow quite a bit! Like its total cringe, but I'm a step above than where I had started and that's what counts. Hugs to you hun.

I love hugs

 

[Onmyoji]

It could be that it wasn't related to your writing but to your presence? Maybe the roleplay required more frequent posting than you could provide. I wasn't straight out kicked out but I left roleplays because of that.

But really, I feel bad about my writing every time I write a post. Like, I send it and immediately think, what kind of abomination my partner is going to read. I don't have much confidence in my writing and it's also part of why I prefer to rp in PM and not threads.

 

[Crayons]

Hey guys. Not to make it about me, but someone struck a real blow to my writing confidence today. I was busy, had better things to do than roleplay. I didn't have any time. And, when they said I couldn't be on their rp anymore, it really hurt. So has this happened to anyone else? If so, would you care to share? I find wallowing in misery is much more enjoyable when not alone.

So.... you didn't have time to roleplay or you didn't feel confident enough to post? Or getting the boot from an RP made you lose confidence? I'm not quite getting the logical sequence here. Sounds like they threw you out for not posting that day rather than because of your quality or posting. (Which seems harsh but some people like it quickfire.)

I've never been thrown out of a roleplay but I have had applications refused. MOI, having applications REFUSED? What IS this!? But I know that when that has happened, or RPs haven't worked out it's usually because of a mismatch of styles/personalities and not because you, as an individual, are bad at RP. You just need to take the inevitable knocks and get back up. This happens to the best of us (ME. I mean ME. I am the BEST OF US.)

 

[Jet]

If you're not confident about your own writing, use that as a weapon. Use your insecurity as a motivation and become undeniably great.

I'm not sure how good or bad you are as a writer, but nobody has ever been great at something without years of thinking "I'm not good enough"

Theres a quote I heard once that says "you have to fall in love with the process of becoming great" and that means looking at yourself and saying "I'm not good enough" while understanding that one day you will be unless you quit. Your self criticism is a sign that you're not complacent. You're not willing to accept anything other than excellence, and that's a good thing. That means you can improve, unlike so many who rest on their laurels and go nowhere.

 

[peritwinkle]

I’m very sorry this happened to you.

We all have bad days. On some days I could feel like writing but nothing comes out right. On other days inspiration just strikes out of nowhere and I find myself writing notes at 4AM on my phone.

My point is, don’t force yourself to write if you aren’t feeling like it. And if your schedule is busy and you need to write to keep up with the other posts, maybe you should stop doing group RPs and stick to 1x1 where you tailor your own posting schedule.

If the reason they kicked you out was because of your writing, especially without a warning, they weren’t worth your while in the first place.

 

[Empress]

It's hard to know without knowing the exact circumstances, but it doesn't seem you were removed for the quality of your writing. It sounds more like there was a miscommunication involving posting time or speed. Which still sucks, but it happens in the Roleplay world. I wouldn't take it too personally though and I imagine that your writing is probably fine. As for your original question, I have to say that it's happened to me before though it has little to do with self-confidence in my case. I suffer from depression (which slows my posting speed to begin with) and OCD (which often makes it difficult for me to post content that I find to be "imperfect" to the point where I may even have an anxiety attack over it). I've managed to find some balance by ultimately pacing myself and simply passing on Roleplay when I feel too stressed to post. Maybe you should consider doing the same? Roleplaying is supposed to be a fun hobby, after all.

 

[Melpomene]

Oof.

I'm sorry bud. I definitely have had those days where the inspiration was fizzling. I think we all have. Not everyone will be on the same schedule, so that can make roleplaying difficult. It isn't your fault, it looks like that was just a pairing that didn't work out. Trust me, I have had my fair share of roleplays ending prematurely due to just being paired with people that I didn't vibe with, whether it be schedule wise, writing wise, or any other reason. And that's ok. We're all different and have different wants and needs. It can take awhile, but look for that perfect roleplay that can give you inspiration and at the same time, work with your schedule.

Group RPs can be a bit more restrictive, but don't give up on them, because plenty of GMs help you out if you aren't feeling up to posting that day. And for 1x1s try to find a partner with a similar schedule or one that doesn't mind waiting (I personally prefer my partners to respond slow anyways haha). You'll get through this and find a wonderful RP to forget this bad experience in.

I wish you the best!

 

[Rusty of Shackleford]

I have some serious problems with writer's block myself. It's gotten to the point I legitimately feel awful for all the RPs I've had to leave or the people I've ghosted because I was so ashamed to tell them I had lost interest. I've had moments where I questioned if writing was for me, and if I should just quit and stop leading people on. But the conclusion I've come to is this: I enjoy writing. I enjoy plotting, world building. That much is true. The problem is me, I have bad ADHD, I can be really lazy. But if I work at it, if I put my mind to it...maybe I can really do it. Maybe not, though. Maybe I'm not cut out for writing and I'm just wasting my time and everyone else's. But it's better to try and fail than to do nothing at all.

Apologies for that nonsensical attempted motivational speech. I'm not good with words, but I just wanted to let you know that it's okay to lose some RPs. You just gotta keep moving forward.

 

[Jannah]

It could be that it wasn't related to your writing but to your presence? Maybe the roleplay required more frequent posting than you could provide. I wasn't straight out kicked out but I left roleplays because of that.

But really, I feel bad about my writing every time I write a post. Like, I send it and immediately think, what kind of abomination my partner is going to read. I don't have much confidence in my writing and it's also part of why I prefer to rp in PM and not threads.

Oh man, I'm the exact same way. Almost all of my RP's are over PM due me being very self-conscious about my writing. The only ones not in PM's are group RP's.

 

[berrybeans]

I have always felt guilty about my writing, I feel at my age I should be better at it and that thought has really hindered me. I feel embarrassed at my writing, that it takes me so long and constant re-reading, even then I feel like it's never good enough to be posted. I never was good at it in school so I feel like that has played a huge role in how well I can write now that I've graduated.

I really do try my best to improve my writing daily, I've noticed that I tend to mirror people to try and see if I can write up a good paragraph.

 

[grimmmy]

I used to struggle with this too, so I try to remind myself, whenever I write for RP, I’m essentially writing a draft. A first draft is never going to be as good as a revised version!

Don’t use RP posts as indicative of your overall writing skill. With enough time and focus, you can always make something great.

I would also focus on the positives. Maybe one sentence in that post has a nice ring to it, or you used a fun turn of phrase somewhere. That’s the stuff that stays in the revision :]

 

[Redfork2000]

So.... you didn't have time to roleplay or you didn't feel confident enough to post? Or getting the boot from an RP made you lose confidence? I'm not quite getting the logical sequence here. Sounds like they threw you out for not posting that day rather than because of your quality or posting. (Which seems harsh but some people like it quickfire.)

I've never been thrown out of a roleplay but I have had applications refused. MOI, having applications REFUSED? What IS this!? But I know that when that has happened, or RPs haven't worked out it's usually because of a mismatch of styles/personalities and not because you, as an individual, are bad at RP. You just need to take the inevitable knocks and get back up. This happens to the best of us (ME. I mean ME. I am the BEST OF US.)

My thoughts exactly. I've had a few times where things just didn't work out, and I didn't end up roleplaying with the group. Most of the time it's not that my application was refused, but rather that I saw something I didn't like and ended up leaving. But I did have experiences with 1x1 RPs where my roleplay partner has literally ghosted me, and upon starting another PM with them months later, they explain that they didn't like the way I writed. Maybe they liked first person perspective, and I only use third person perspective. Maybe they love dark gritty stuff, and I prefer lighthearted fluff.

The point of this is that most of the times, when you are rejected for one reason or another, it's not that one is bad at writing or RPing, but rather that one's RP style or preferences don't mesh well with someone else's. I've been there, and I'm glad to say that I have the self-confidence to know that when I'm rejected, it's not because I'm bad at what I do, but simply because the other person needed something different, something that I can't provide them because I have another roleplaying and writing style.

It's the same thing that happens with the dreaded post length requirements. Personally, I love having 2-6 paragraphs per post, and feel at home with that post length, but I've roleplayed with some people that do only one-liners. I had one RP partner in particular who rarely ever wrote more than one line per post, and I have to tell you, that was one of my best RPs on this site to date. And it's a shame that most times, those people tend to be rejected often for their post lengths.

But if there's one thing I'd like anyone reading this to pick up from this post, it's this: "When you're rejected, it's not because you lack the skills, but because the other person needed someone different." It can sometimes be a bit hard to overcome rejection when you feel like you're not good enough, but I assure you, even if some of the world's best authors came onto this site to RP, not everyone would want to RP with them, because there will always be a difference in styles, preferences. So do not let rejection ever hurt your confidence, and try to just come to the realization that you do have skills, just maybe not the ones that particular roleplayer was looking for.

 

[chuushi]

I'm only 13, but I have felt guilt when writing my posts or replies for roleplay for a really long time, I had a roleplay I did a while ago, very long, at this point it's about 400 pages of a word document by just us two people, but eventually, I had to stop writing it because every time I tried to write I got so damned anxious. Maybe it was because of the actual situations the characters were going through, combined with me thinking that my writing was never good enough or that I'd get something wrong, or that I'd mess up the character I was writing, and ruin the essence of the entire roleplay.

Looking back, it's kind of funny because I was basically haunted by my own character's guilt. Over nothing. Guilty over something they didn't do. I remember this one time where I, in the roleplay, it's a long story but roll with it, asked if Character #2 needed me to help roll their wheelchair as we were leaving the hospital and they said something along the lines of, oh, no I've got it, it's really not that hard. but thank you. and I had a FULL BLOWN DREAM the night after and MANY NIGHTS after that about feeling like an absolute fucking IDIOT and ASSHOLE for even CONSIDERING they might need help to roll their new wheelchair I mean by heavens, I was ABLEIST SCUM in my own mind. But at the same time, it was a part of my character I was having to write, being overprotective, underestimating the other's skill, out of fear. It's so hilarious. And kind of really sucked.

Most of the time when I couldn't bring myself to write replies it was because I was hating on myself so much, I was basically tormenting myself. It was terrible. I'd say the best you can do is stuff it up, realize you're pretty good for where you've started and where you're going, that the journey is your own, and everyone writes different, but most of all, that this is you growing. It shows you can grow. You've got this! (Plus, remember how much better you are than others. It might help slightly. Haha. Unless you're like me and feel guilty for putting people below you when they're trying their best.)

[[Sorry again, I know you're talking about group rps, but this is just my own experience haha.]]

 

[nerdy tangents]

To sort of jump onto what chuushi said, “You will always be your own worst critic.”

Chances are everything your worried about exists in your own head and is not real. Typically speaking if there IS a problem your roleplay partner will either A. Address the issue directly OR B. Let it go because they don’t want to cause a fuss.

But it’s never going to be the case where they are sitting at their desk thinking “Wow this person sucks at writing and they are totally ruining my ability to enjoy this story.”

 

[Zef The Owl]

I've gotten better about it, but it gets to me when I'm ghosted. This is because any criticism towards an RP I usually focus inwardly, I rarely if ever blame the other RPer as I believe all RPers enjoy RP in their own ways and there is no wrong way to enjoy an RP.

So, usually when I RP I try to get a bead on what my partners like, and I play into that. Two partners in the same setting can have very different adventures based on what I figure they enjoy, one might like fighting and exploring more, while another might like inter character intrigue.

That being said, I notice when people are ghosted they tend to blame the ghoster and that isnt my mindset. If someone ghosts me I blame myself and my writing, I clearly didnt write well enough to hold their interests, they didnt like the direction enough to continue or even say something-- So on so on, for me the thought that I was inadequate as a writer really used to get to me and make me clam up a lot in fear. Afterall the ghoster never told me what I did wrong, so my imagination got away from me. Where my characters uninteresting? Was it the premise? Was the prose hard to read?

I'd overanalyze it and it'd bleed into other RPs that were more successful, scared I wasnt good enough and I'd lose more partners. I wish I could say I've gotten rid of those doubts, but I havent. I'm just better at managing them.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Zef The Owl if it helps here are a list of reasons people have “ghosted me” (most of which happens multiple times)

• Death in the Family
• Extended Hospital Stay
• School work
• Long Illness (think food poisoning or the flu)
• Computer Breaks (happened to me currently)
• Loss of Job

I have found that training myself to assume it’s real life issues actually helps me get over ghosting. As it gives you a concrete explanation for people leaving that has nothing to do with writing quality.

 

[Zef The Owl]

Zef The Owl if it helps here are a list of reasons people have “ghosted me” (most of which happens multiple times)

• Death in the Family
• Extended Hospital Stay
• School work
• Long Illness (think food poisoning or the flu)
• Computer Breaks (happened to me currently)
• Loss of Job

I have found that training myself to assume it’s real life issues actually helps me get over ghosting. As it gives you a concrete explanation for people leaving that has nothing to do with writing quality.

Those ones dont bother me as much as the ones that ghost me, but are still clearly on the site striking up RPs with other people.

Even then, I know people get anxious and dont want to face the stress of having to tell someone an RP isnt working out, and I fully underatand that no hard feelings. However the irrational side of my head still nags at me that its my fault, and if I was a more entertaining RPer I could have avoided that.

Its a purely irrational, but I still feel it.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Those ones dont bother me as much as the ones that ghost me, but are still clearly on the site striking up RPs with other people.

Even then, I know people get anxious and dont want to face the stress of having to tell someone an RP isnt working out, and I fully underatand that no hard feelings. However the irrational side of my head still nags at me that its my fault, and if I was a more entertaining RPer I could have avoided that.

Its a purely irrational, but I still feel it.

My thought is that to replace the self hating mantras with alternate explanations. I mean even if someone is online it doesn’t mean they aren’t still having issues.

Just when you start obsessing it’s YOUR fault tell yourself “No they are probably having IRL issues they don’t feel comfortable telling me about.”

 

[Crayons]

Once, years ago, but still when I was old enough to know better I ghosted someone (and this is literally the only time I've ghosted because I'm usually the one who is hyper obsessed with keeping rp going no matter what) because of their writing. They were super nice as well which was probably why I ghosted rather than telling them to their face. They said they wanted to set a part of the story in a setting they had already devised and I was like ok, but it became clear that there wasn't anything my character could actually do to take initiative since I had to wait for them to describe everything each post. He was just mainly waiting around... Even the banter stopped because their character got rendered unconscious somehow... And I got bored. So I just sneaked away. I'm not proud of it but these things do happen. But then do you want to rp with the person who finds your writing boring? No. Go forth and find someone who likes it. There will always be someone.