[Critique Wanted!] Dribble

[TheMadIceCreamMan]

I plan to release a roleplay soon. It will be the first roleplay I myself have created, ever. A such I still have a lot of factors I'm scrutinizing such as Character Sheets in this case. I wanted to throw out an example for some seasoned Roleplayers to look at. Constructive criticism on how to improve this character sheet it terms of organization, additions, and appeal is sought after. Thank you and may Lord Helix be with you. Ask me any questions as you see fit.

Dribble

The Pupae

• Formalities
• Characteristics
• History
• Specifics

• 
  
  
  Name: No true birth name
  
  
  Common Alias: Dribble
  
  
  Age: Sixteen
  
  
  Gender: Male
  
  
  Species: [Pupae] Vampiric Goblin~Dwarf Hybrid
  
  
  Birth Place: The swamp lands of Hualo

  
  
  
  Strength
  
  
  Endurance
  
  
  Vitality
  
  
  Agility
  
  
  Dexterity
  
  
  Intelligence
  
  
  Mana Pool

  
  
  
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• 
  
  

  Physical Characteristics
  
  ​

  
  
  
  General Description:
  
  
  Height: 3 feet 8 inches
  
  
  Weight: 98 pounds
  
  
  Strength: Dribble isn't proficient at acts of strength in general. Running is something he excels at considering the amount of times he is forced into the activity.
  
  
  Weakness: His weak back limits his ability to work with bulky weapons or items properly.
  
  
  Handicaps: Due to his irregular genes he was born color blind and has shortsightedness.
  
  
  Defining Traits: Due to being the child a Vampire his skin his a gray color that can be thought of as a sheenless silver.
  
  
  
  
  
  

  Mental Characteristics
  
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  Pleasures
  
  
  Trying new foods
  
  
  Authentic kindness
  
  
  Calm nights
  
  
  Aversions
  
  
  Crowded areas
  
  
  His own blood
  
  
  Misunderstandings
  
  
  Faulty Trait: Due to a life of being constantly shunned and abused he doesn't show trust to any one. He doesn't do it out of malice or hatred, but due to a sense of self preservation. Due to his trust being hard earned working in a group is no easy endeavor.
  
  
  Saving Trait: He is a fine judge at when it is time to turn tail in a given situation. It is natural for him to tell when a situation is about to become unsavory. This factor has played a role in keeping him alive many times.
  
  
  Aspirations: Dribble keeps the fact that he is Pupae under wraps and lives under the guise that others thinks he is a Dwarf~High Goblin Hybrid, which are at minimal accepted as citizens. A desire lurks in him to discover where his vampire blood line came from. He hopes that maybe he'll find acceptance among them.
  
  
  Fears: Walking around the forest his own shadow or a sudden gust of wind is enough to spark a fearful response in Dribble. Truly he is fearful of many things, but a deep seated fear is that he'll be viewed a monster wherever he goes.
  
  
  
• To be discussed
• 
  
  
  Weapon Proficiency
  
  
  

  • Wood Spear
  • Bark Shield

  • 
    
    
    Wooden Spear
    
    
    Type: Piercing [One Handed]
    
    
    Effect: +1 Dexterity
    
    
    

    

    
    
    
  • 
    
    
    Bark Shield
    
    
    Type: Blunt [One-Handed]
    
    
    Effect: +1 Endurance

    
    
    

    

  
  
  
  
  Magic Proficiency
  
  
  

  Minor Healing Spell
  
  Spell
  
  : Minor Self healing
  
  
  
  Chant
  
  : [bios-Korp-Minorlen-Ebe]
  
  
  
  Chant Time
  
  : Low
  
  
  
  Effect
  
  : Repairs minor injuries (cramps,scratches,bruises,light bleeding)