cure
ephemere
Not too long after she had gotten off the phone with Brooklyn did she get a notification at the top of her screen saying that her Uber had cancelled. Chanel pursed her lips before giving a final huff and hurriedly walking down the street. It might have seen like it would make the most sense to just wait for another, but she didn't feel like doing that. If it wasn't evident by her calling Brooke, to which she had probably said more words then than she had since she'd known the girl, then she was clearly in an impulsive mood. Chanel thought of herself as more spontaneous, not someone stupidly reckless, but just like anyone, she could fall on the other end of the spectrum when enough. The nervous jitters and anxious feeling she had seemed to be the cause. She needed to be doing something and not just standing around because that would give her nerves more time to brew and settle. So pushing through the cold for some ten odd minutes instead of waiting for another ride not only made the most sense to her in the moment, but also felt the best. It eliminated having to worry about the next Uber cancelling, and it already seemed like she was on a poor streak of luc, so even if it did come on time, she wasn't going to risk getting into a car accident or something.
Now that she was not only in the cold air, which was doing wonderfully at cooling her off because she was burning up under all of her layers, but was moving through it, she progressively felt more and more at ease. Her mind was slowly moving towards being preoccupied to trying to cool down but also stay warm against the frigid air, and she herself was trying to catch her breath as she relentlessly moved faster and faster down the block. She did want to get to Holly as quickly as possible, but she wasn't walking that fast because of it. She just needed to be moving. That was her thing. She always needed to be preoccupied. She was the kind of person who, when interested, would have to put her all into something, but the shortcoming of that was that once something else was thrown into the mix, she would come to a halt and stumble, just like when she received Ruby's response and she was walking too fast to focus on the contents, type up a response, and and navigate around people. Chanel wasn't helpless enough that she couldn't text and walk, but she was doing absolutely too much at once, and as was her tendency, she had to completely stop the car to shift gears, instead of just slowly down.
She moved out of the way of the traffic and looked at her phone once more, her face contorting into slight confusion. She couldn't really gauge how seriously to take Ruby. She couldn't exactly picture the scene, whether it was Holly just getting reprimanded and Ruby taking it to the extreme (which Chanel really only considered because of her initial introduction to the girl) or if Makayla had really gone apeshit and verbally slandered and abused the girl. One seemed more likely, but Chanel was still struggling with separating what Ruby would consider normal and what Chanel would, so it was easier for her to feel like the panic would only be warranted by the latter, though realistically she felt like it had to be the former because of what she knew of the two girls. It wasn't like Makayla was yelling at Holly day in and day out. There were parents who only knew how to scream at their children and threaten to beat them, but Makayla wasn't that. Her panicky mood made her feel a bit more defensive, but she finally took a step in the right direction and thought out her actions before just doing them and contemplating after the fact. Did Ruby really think Chanel was the kind of person to just live with a child abuser for years? Her quieter, more reasonable voice told her that not only did Ruby not know Chanel, but she didn't know the girls either. And if Chanel remembered that Ruby was a mandated reporter, she would have also been more understanding.
To: Ruby
I'm still not sure what's happened there, but no, I wouldn't say this is normal. I asked Brooke to check on her in the mean time. My Uber just cancelled, so I'm walking. Should be there in ten minutes or so, but I'm about to call Makayla now
Chanel considered also explaining that Holly actually was in trouble for something, but she wasn't sure if it was necessary for her to go into that much detail. Her discretion was notably coming back, perhaps thanks to actually just being still for a moment and taking multiple deep breaths since she was still trying to catch it after the quick surge in pace. All the clarity that she was supposedly feeling from the weather still wasn't enough for her to realize that she wasn't doing all great things. She was being reckless. Bringing more people into the mix probably wasn't the best idea, despite being well meaning. Though that is likely more excusable than the fact that even Chanel finally saying something to Cara was ultimately Chanel just sticking up for herself. If it hadn't been for the fact that she was already a little anxious and on edge, and then having her plans ruined, she likely wouldn't have gotten offended and spiraled. It didn't negate Chanel's words at all, but the sincerity of it, at least at its core, was not all that of a saint. While her actions weren't malicious so to speak, it was the tone that changed the light of it.
She began walking, this time a bit slower as she called Makayla. She pursed and released her lips continuously, an impatient tic, as though she was tapping her foot. When she heard Makayla on the other line, casually asking "Hey, what's up?" Chanel didn't immediately have anything to say. Not only was she not expecting the girl to answer, presumably being too consumed being in shambles, but she also thought she would have answered differently. "Errrr...umm...hey, girl. Um..." She was still used to the past couple of minutes being a bit chaotic, so that was what she had prepared for. Not having to respond in such a way had thrown her off and quite honestly confused her. "How are you? Um, where are you? Like, don't freak out, but I heard from Ruby and she said some stuff went down? She said Holly's fine," Chanel mentioned, assuming that that would be Makayla's next question, but she didn't know that Holly technically had no reason to not be fine since she was supposed to be in bed. "So I just wanted to make sure you were taken care of, because I mean I really don't know what happened, if anything? But I wanted to just be on the safe side, sooo." She was going to end things there, but she realized that left Makayla with an opportunity to say everything was fine and then disappeared, so she quickly continued. "Just tell me where you be and I'll come to you because I'm already out," she said with a chuckle as she intended to be lighthearted, but there were still residual nerves in her laugh.
Now that she was not only in the cold air, which was doing wonderfully at cooling her off because she was burning up under all of her layers, but was moving through it, she progressively felt more and more at ease. Her mind was slowly moving towards being preoccupied to trying to cool down but also stay warm against the frigid air, and she herself was trying to catch her breath as she relentlessly moved faster and faster down the block. She did want to get to Holly as quickly as possible, but she wasn't walking that fast because of it. She just needed to be moving. That was her thing. She always needed to be preoccupied. She was the kind of person who, when interested, would have to put her all into something, but the shortcoming of that was that once something else was thrown into the mix, she would come to a halt and stumble, just like when she received Ruby's response and she was walking too fast to focus on the contents, type up a response, and and navigate around people. Chanel wasn't helpless enough that she couldn't text and walk, but she was doing absolutely too much at once, and as was her tendency, she had to completely stop the car to shift gears, instead of just slowly down.
She moved out of the way of the traffic and looked at her phone once more, her face contorting into slight confusion. She couldn't really gauge how seriously to take Ruby. She couldn't exactly picture the scene, whether it was Holly just getting reprimanded and Ruby taking it to the extreme (which Chanel really only considered because of her initial introduction to the girl) or if Makayla had really gone apeshit and verbally slandered and abused the girl. One seemed more likely, but Chanel was still struggling with separating what Ruby would consider normal and what Chanel would, so it was easier for her to feel like the panic would only be warranted by the latter, though realistically she felt like it had to be the former because of what she knew of the two girls. It wasn't like Makayla was yelling at Holly day in and day out. There were parents who only knew how to scream at their children and threaten to beat them, but Makayla wasn't that. Her panicky mood made her feel a bit more defensive, but she finally took a step in the right direction and thought out her actions before just doing them and contemplating after the fact. Did Ruby really think Chanel was the kind of person to just live with a child abuser for years? Her quieter, more reasonable voice told her that not only did Ruby not know Chanel, but she didn't know the girls either. And if Chanel remembered that Ruby was a mandated reporter, she would have also been more understanding.
To: Ruby
I'm still not sure what's happened there, but no, I wouldn't say this is normal. I asked Brooke to check on her in the mean time. My Uber just cancelled, so I'm walking. Should be there in ten minutes or so, but I'm about to call Makayla now
Chanel considered also explaining that Holly actually was in trouble for something, but she wasn't sure if it was necessary for her to go into that much detail. Her discretion was notably coming back, perhaps thanks to actually just being still for a moment and taking multiple deep breaths since she was still trying to catch it after the quick surge in pace. All the clarity that she was supposedly feeling from the weather still wasn't enough for her to realize that she wasn't doing all great things. She was being reckless. Bringing more people into the mix probably wasn't the best idea, despite being well meaning. Though that is likely more excusable than the fact that even Chanel finally saying something to Cara was ultimately Chanel just sticking up for herself. If it hadn't been for the fact that she was already a little anxious and on edge, and then having her plans ruined, she likely wouldn't have gotten offended and spiraled. It didn't negate Chanel's words at all, but the sincerity of it, at least at its core, was not all that of a saint. While her actions weren't malicious so to speak, it was the tone that changed the light of it.
She began walking, this time a bit slower as she called Makayla. She pursed and released her lips continuously, an impatient tic, as though she was tapping her foot. When she heard Makayla on the other line, casually asking "Hey, what's up?" Chanel didn't immediately have anything to say. Not only was she not expecting the girl to answer, presumably being too consumed being in shambles, but she also thought she would have answered differently. "Errrr...umm...hey, girl. Um..." She was still used to the past couple of minutes being a bit chaotic, so that was what she had prepared for. Not having to respond in such a way had thrown her off and quite honestly confused her. "How are you? Um, where are you? Like, don't freak out, but I heard from Ruby and she said some stuff went down? She said Holly's fine," Chanel mentioned, assuming that that would be Makayla's next question, but she didn't know that Holly technically had no reason to not be fine since she was supposed to be in bed. "So I just wanted to make sure you were taken care of, because I mean I really don't know what happened, if anything? But I wanted to just be on the safe side, sooo." She was going to end things there, but she realized that left Makayla with an opportunity to say everything was fine and then disappeared, so she quickly continued. "Just tell me where you be and I'll come to you because I'm already out," she said with a chuckle as she intended to be lighthearted, but there were still residual nerves in her laugh.