Realistic or Modern City Living

[lauren.]

Holly couldn’t resist letting out a belly laugh at Roman’s “mispronunciation”, once Cara played it. Poor Roman! Holly didn’t mean to make him the butt of the joke, but garage wasn’t even a hard word! She couldn’t imagine who had taught him to say it so incorrectly, but perhaps it had been a practical joke that he hadn’t caught onto. She wasn’t going to be the one to break the bad news to him and embarrass him though. Holly understood that Roman had an accent because he wasn’t from here (kind of), but that didn’t mean that he had to say things really differently.

“Oh yeah, Roman can show us where his mom and dad live too!” While Holly had thought about Chanel’s home life before, she hadn’t really considered Roman’s. She knew that he didn’t have any siblings, that he didn’t have a Golden Retriever, and that his bedroom walls weren’t pink or purple, but that was about it. Come to think of it, it was very secretive of him to never tell her if he owned a lava lamp, if he had a backyard with a swing set, a trampoline, and a pool with a slide and diving board, or if his mom and dad measured how tall he grew on some wall in their house with little markings like Holly saw families do in television. She nearly laughed as she imagined how the markings would almost be hitting the roof with how tall Roman was! Even though Holly’s upbringing was quite untraditional, she seemed to understand that her situation was an outlier in that sense. She didn’t see it as being strange, but she did default to thinking that most people lived the picturesque childhoods that she saw on television. ”Roman does have a mom and dad, and Chanel does have a mom and dad, and Brooklyn did have a mom and dad but her dad killed himself,” Holly explained, as if it somehow related to what they were talking about.

“Can you blame him after having to deal with her for all of her life?” Cara remarked, knowing the comment was inappropriate even as she was saying it, but finding it hard to bite her tongue. She didn’t like Brooklyn so she didn’t care about it from a moral standpoint, but she did know that it was inappropriate to say to Holly. Besides, it wasn’t her fault. Makayla being a rude bitch was what had set the stage for Cara having to turn her bitch mode on, she justified internally.

“What do you mean?” Holly asked, head tilting slightly in confusion as she looked to Cara for clarification.

“It’s not like she’s the easiest person to live with,” Cara said, attempting to choose her words at least somewhat more carefully now. “Most people don’t like being around someone whose always so angry. You’re the exception, since I know you like being friends with her for some mysterious reason!” she teased. She picked up her phone again, this time to text Chanel again.

To: Chanel
Also Holly’s one wish for graduation is to go to Pennsylvania sooooo invite us
​

 

[A_Writer]

“Well, she isn’t always angry,” Holly reasoned, pausing for a moment to think about it. To her, it would be a no-brainer that living with Brooklyn would be fun. While there had been a few occasions where Brooklyn’s attitude had been pronounced enough for Holly to realize and feel hurt, she didn’t typically take it personally (if she even managed to pick up on it). Holly’s upbringing had desensitized her to a lot of bad things. She had seen her own mother nearly overdose on many occasions, and listening to her stepfather scream that he was going to kill someone followed by the sounds of shattering glass had nearly been a nightly event. While she did consider him to be a bad person, along with other men that she had grown up around who had abused her in one way or another, it was otherwise hard to earn that label in a sincere way from Holly. Whether she even considered her own mother, who subjected her to said abuse, to be a bad person was a complex issue in itself for her. So, compared to all of those people, Brooklyn was nice. Even if she wasn’t, Holly wasn’t sure that would warrant her dad killing himself over it. The sarcastic remark had obviously went over Holly’s head as she tried to reason why Cara would feel that way.

“Do you and Brooklyn ever have sleepovers together?” she asked, since that too seemed like something that they obviously should have been taking advantage of, since they were lucky enough to be roommates. Makayla deprived her of the opportunity to take advantage of it herself with Chanel, but she had slept in Ruby’s room before, and that had been fun! Maybe if Cara had a sleepover with Brooklyn, she would understand how nice she really could be! “Because I think you would like that, and I know Brooklyn would! That’s what you do when you live with someone, and I did it with Ruby but I was only allowed to sleep in the same room as Chanel in Disney World—oh, and remember when we were at your beach house and I got to have my own room, just for me, because Makayla and Ruby shared a room instead? I liked that! When I finish school, I’m going to buy a house with my own bedroom in it!”​

 

[lauren.]

Cara opted against commenting on Holly’s question about sleepovers with Brooklyn, but nodded with interest as she explained how she wanted to buy a house with her own bedroom in it. To an extent, Cara was just as ignorant as Holly was when it came to the realities of purchasing a home in current times. It wasn’t the way it was 30 or 40 years ago where middle class young adults could save up within a few years to put a downpayment on a home, and pay it off without being tied to a life sentence of work to keep their mortgage lender off their back. Homeownership was out of reach for many working middle class Americans, so that obviously spoke to the likelihood of it being a feasible dream for Holly. At least on her own. Though Cara didn’t think this now, it was quite possible that her relationship with Holly would fade away once she moved out of this building. She truly loved the girl, but life was life, and if she wasn’t living across the hall from her, it was hard to say with certainty that Cara would prioritize time for her five or ten years down the line. Both of their lives would likely be completely different by then, or at least Cara envisioned her own to be.

With that being said, with how much Cara cared for Holly now, she would gladly ensure Holly’s rent was taken care of in a cute little dog friendly, full service building if Holly asked her to. That was the thing — Cara’s generosity was often thoughtless. It probably wouldn’t occur to her that Holly couldn’t afford a suitable lifestyle on her own, and therefore she should step in and help out. If Cara were to do something like that, it would be because she felt like Holly would like it - not that she needed it. Maybe Cara would have toured the building for herself, but didn’t like the finishes in the kitchen, but thought that the rooftop pool would be fun for Holly. That would be her train of thought over “Holly could never afford an apartment of her own, but she deserves it just as much as anyone else, so let me be a good person and help her”. Even if the end result was the same, the motive behind doing it was different when it came to Cara. It was no less genuine and not necessarily a bad thing, but it was why it wouldn’t occur to her that she could easily change Makayla and Holly’s lives by paying their rent for a year, or by paying off Chanel’s student loans.

“I don’t get why you didn’t just take Ruby’s room before she moved in,” she offered, stirring her drink gently before sipping it. “You should really tell Makayla that you want your own space,” she suggested. “And who knows, maybe Ruby will move in with that Elijah guy soon anyway,” she added, a bit more coyly now, as she knew that there was trouble in that paradise. ​

 

[BurningBridges]

"Whatever," Nick scoffed through a smile. He would let Brooklyn rag on him about his career choice without retribution for now, but in reality, they both made enough money to get by, so what was the big deal? It wasn't like being a stripper came with a 401(k) either. He stole a few french fries out of one of the containers on the counter, but they didn't remain on his plate for more than a few moments before being shoveled into his mouth. "Speaking of rich people, did you bag any this weekend, bro?" he said, looking to Roman. He knew that they had just discussed this sort of thing a few minutes ago when they were alone, but he figured Brooke would get a kick out of it too. "Slide into a few of those DMs and get us a weekend trip to a Miami penthouse. I feel like we could ball out in Miami," he imagined aloud. Bottle service, nightclubs, oceanfront hotels, lots of girls in bikinis... "And it's the land of your people, so you'll fit right in too," he said, nodding to Brooklyn, as he envisioned all of the strip clubs there.

“Would you leave him alone?” Brooklyn chided half-heartedly as she rolled her eyes at Nick. “Just because you feel the need to fuck every girl with a heartbeat doesn’t mean that Roman can’t have standards,” she stated. She didn’t immediately catch what Nick meant by calling Miami the land of “her people” or else she would have smacked him for it. She was somewhat preoccupied by her food, and Nick was just also being particularly dumb today, so she wasn’t paying him much mind. “Have you ever actually dated someone?” she said, as she glanced towards Roman then. While her tone was less charged compared to Nick’s, she was also being more serious than Nick, which probably didn’t make her question much more preferable to his. Regardless, she was curious. She couldn’t recall a time when Roman was actually dating a girl, in the way that she and Nick dated each other. Perhaps not dated in the sense of where she and Nick were now, but even just the early stages stuff. If Roman did sleep with girls, which Brooklyn didn’t necessarily doubt he did, he didn’t ever seem to want anything beyond that with them. It wouldn’t occur to her that he could have potentially been doing that stuff on the low though, simply because she considered Roman to be pretty straight forward. He wasn’t an open book, but Brooklyn felt confident in believing that she knew all she needed to know about Roman. That if she asked, he would give her an honest answer... at least about most things. Drugs were another story, but one that she didn’t typically venture into with him. She preferred to send Nick in with her questions on more loaded topics like that, and find that out indirectly.​

 

[cure]

While these were all innocent, straight-forward questions, for Roman they bordered on invasive. Not in a way where he felt personally uncomfortable, but the closed off part of himself did start a bit at Brooklyn and Cara's questions. What surprised him about Cara's question the most, though, was the fact that she was talking to him like he could afford to travel leisurely. It certainly didn't fit the aesthetic and disposition she had made of him during their more tumultuous period. It did make him wonder if she was therefore being genuine because she saw him as more of an equal now, or if there was something else she was trying to get at.

To: Cara
don't tell me you're already trying to meet the parents

It wasn't the oddest question, but considering Roman's only connection (in his mind at least) was just that he spoke like he was from London, he didn't understand why he would have any real reason to visit. Of course, this was his own bias talking. It wasn't as absurd as it was in his mind. To get on a flight and go back home? To what?? To say the thought had never crossed his mind would be a lie; he used to consider going home about a year or so after moving to New York. But that's because he was homesick and didn't have what he had no: friends, distance, his own autonomy. Of course, the way he chose to distance himself and gain autonomy was a large part for why he felt virtually exiled from returning home anyway (that was excluding the words from his father which were as good as an exile charge). Having a bunch of tattoos alone made it difficult to return to London. It was easier to not feel like a failure in New York City.

"Actually?" Roman said, raising his brow as though he were shocked at the audacity of Brooklyn's choice of words. "I've dated many girls, Brooklyn," he explained, a coyness to his tone. The closest he'd really had to a girlfriend was just some girl he had seen for about six months. As soon as she wanted to put labels on things and talk about being exclusive, Roman had to dip. While he could be a bit loose sexually, he also wasn't an extrovert by nature, so having a consistent lay actually was preferable to just shagging a bunch of randoms. Being exclusive wasn't the problem since he didn't have an issue with monogamy; his issue was with what it represented. Had she not said anything for another few months, Roman would probably have ended up inevitably calling her a girlfriend out of lack of choice. He was more of a 'Oh, yeah. I guess we are dating' type than the 'What are we?' kind of guy. Things were still too fresh and new for him to not be scared of the prospect of settling.

"I had a legit bird back home," he said after taking his time to chew and savor his food. "We grew up together, so I don't know if that counts." Did he have experience with modern dating? Downloading a dating app with the hopes of deleting it? Nope! Ending up dating your childhood crush was also different from typical dating since things just sort of fall in place on their own over several years, so he wasn't sure if that was the example Brooklyn was going for. "But she was my only girlfriend. I'm not trying to change that though, if that's where this is going." He wasn't trying to change his ways even when he was regularly sleeping with Cara. He was the kind of person where things just fell into place. He did take a bit of a dive with Cara because hooking up for a season or two was fast for him, but he clearly cared about it enough to want to keep it a secret. Not because he was ashamed of Cara, but because he didn't want to scare her off the way he typically would be by commitment. That, and Brooklyn and Nick and everyone else inevitably being involved made keeping things a secret more preferable. Roman valued his privacy, and right now he wanted to enjoy Cara to himself while he still could.​

 

[lauren.]

"Oh no, I don't want her to move," Holly clarified quickly, with a slight frown. It was inevitable, obviously, that at some point, Chanel and Ruby would no longer live with her, but Holly didn’t like to think about that. This apartment represented the first time she was able to experience a stable household. Even if that primarily came in the form of “luxuries” like having her own bed, not having to worry about a rat scampering across the floor while she tried to fall asleep, and just simply feeling safe when she was home, her roommates were associated with it as well. Outside of them both being immensely good and kind to Holly, they were some of the first relationships that she was able to create in this newer and brighter stage in her life.

While she understood that one day Chanel and Ruby would move out, it was something that would be distressing and anxiety-inducing if she truly thought about it. There were few things that Holly was typically anxious over, but that would probably be one of the thoughts that would keep her up at night. “But maybe she’ll want to share a room with Makayla and I’ll move into her room! Or maybe if you tell Collin to find new friends, I can move into his room and live with you, because one time Chanel told me I was being mean and I didn’t want her to say that about me because that really hurt my feelings.” She diverted midway through that sentence from one thought to another, but it made sense in her mind to a point where she didn’t even think to clarify what she was talking about.

Although Cara loved Holly, the idea of living with her seemed a bit... excessive. Even living with her brother and Brooklyn, both of whom quietly did their own thing 99% of the time, made Cara feel claustrophobic sometimes. Holly’s presence was felt much more boldly regardless of the circumstance, and even if Cara was much kinder and sensitive towards Holly than the general public, she didn’t have the Chanel level of kindness in her. “As much as I’d love that, Collin’s so lame that I don’t think he’ll ever make friends,” she replied with a sigh, dramatized to seem more disappointed than she genuinely was. For a moment, her gaze shifted to her phone, and she couldn’t resist smirking through an eye roll as she read Roman’s texts. As if, she thought, though in a less snarky way, she was, perhaps, curious to meet them, now that he mentioned it. Or at least know who they were... Cara complained to Roman often about her father and stepmother, but she rarely heard about his own family. It didn’t come across as him being secretive (probably in part because she liked to vent about her own issues to a point where he likely couldn’t get a word in edge wise anyway), but now that he mentioned it... “Why did she call you mean?”

To: Roman
Even though I’m sure they would be shocked over how you managed to find someone like me ... no, I won’t do that to you

To: Roman
But considering how much of my family drama you hear about and how little of yours I hear about, it’s hard to tell if your parents are even real ​

 

[cure]

“I don’t blame you," Nick nodded. He was saying it in part to tease Brooke, but also because he genuinely didn’t blame Roman for not wanting a girlfriend. Nick had never been the type of person to want to be in a relationship. That was until he met Brooklyn, and realized that he’d found his person. Before that, though, the mere thought of a relationship felt tiring. Even if he had been interested in an array of girls throughout his life, the attraction had never truly pushed past a physical one. He didn’t “click” with any of them, and sealing with a relationship and all that came with that would have felt forced and draining. It wasn’t like that with Brooklyn, because even when they would fight, there was still passion behind it. If he wasn’t into relationships, he felt like that would be ten times as true when it came to Roman (whether that was fair or not). “Although once you do get one, maybe Brooklyn will finally make her first friend,” he added.

"You know Brooklyn would bully the hell out of any girlfriend I had," Roman began. He turned his attention to Brooklyn so that she knew he was addressing her specifically: "And don't act like it's not true. I think I'd be more nervous to introduce my girlfriend to Brooklyn than to my parents," he said with a hearty laugh behind his words. While it wasn't obvious to them, or even really to himself, that he was addressing this pretend girlfriend as 'his' instead of a fictitious 'a' spoke to how he was thinking of Cara in this scenario, at least subconsciously. He still believed what he said to be true; Roman wouldn't be the most thrilled to introduce any girl because despite what Brooklyn might say, or even do, he knew that she was protective over him. He didn't really get the chance to do the same for her in the same capacity because, well, Nick was a thing. He didn't have to worry about that. Roman knew, however, that he'd be an absolute dick—more than he already was—to any new guy she brought around. Combined with the fact that he was protective of her as well with the fact that he already wasn't the more intrigued by strangers, it was most beneficial for all parties that Roman didn't have to worry about Brooklyn dating around. Even with knowing that, Roman couldn't understand why Brooklyn would care about who he dated. In reality, what with Cara being his girlfriend, he knew why though.

His phone chimed again, alerting him to turn it on silent so as not to get called out. Roman wasn't really attached to his phone, so that he was eating mostly with just one hand might have been enough of an alert that something interesting was going on. Under normal circumstances, Roman would have been aware of this and cared enough to just put the person on hold; he was more interested in talking to Cara though. He gave Cara's message about his parents being shocked around bagging a girl like her a thumbs up because, well...it was definitely true.

To: Cara
If my parents didn't have it out for me, they would probably really like you actually.

He wasn't sure what else to say because he was a little uncomfortable talking about his parents. He wanted to swear that he'd told her about his upbringing, but he knew that wasn't entirely true. In his mind, though, 'telling her' about his upbringing was equivalent to passive aggressive comments about his childhood.

To: Cara
No drama over here though.

To Cara:
Just because I don't really have a relationship with them to be honest lol.

He held his breath before sending his last message. That felt a smidge too vulnerable for him, but he wasn't sure how else to respond without making it weird by blatantly changing the subject. In an attempt to still shift some of the spotlight from himself, he sent another text:

To: Cara
I thought you knew about this stuff already? Proof you tune me out when I wear my heart on my sleeve

“You say that as if Roman isn’t your only friend,” Brooklyn shot back at Nick. At least her comment was true. While Brooklyn wasn’t a Chanel in terms of socialization and overextending herself with a million friendships, she had people she considered to be friends. Most of them were girls that she worked with, and because of that, she didn’t feel inclined to see them every free moment she had, since she saw them while she was on the clock. If she was feeling more petty, she could have launched into a segment on how she was sure Nick would love it if she had more friends so that she would be busier and not notice how much of a shitty boyfriend he was, but she held her tongue because she was feeling playful enough today too.

“And for your information,” she said, addressing Roman in between bites. “I wouldn’t bully her to her face, at least not the first time meeting her. Some of us have manners.” Brooklyn wanted to believe that was true, at least. She imagined that if Roman ever did get into a relationship, the girl of choice would at least be somewhat likable.. at least to an extent where Brooklyn wouldn’t be forced to bully her to her face. Granted, she wasn’t the best at holding back if she felt like someone really was a complete idiot, but if that was the case, she assumed she’d bully Roman about it rather than the girl. Informing him about how horrible his taste in women was in front of said woman would likely validate Roman’s claim regardless, but whatever.

“You know you can just block her, right? She won’t even know and will continue to text you daily, so you won’t even be a bad person for it,” she added more dryly, as she watched Roman fiddle with his phone. Since he had just been pronouncing words for Holly, she assumed that was who he was still talking to, since like Nick, she considered Roman to be more friendless and she was too.​

 

[lauren.]

Holly frowned slightly as she replayed the scene in her mind. Collin had kidnapped the dog at Cara’s dad’s party, and then went on to brainwash Chanel into thinking that Holly was being mean. It wasn’t really Chanel’s fault, it was Collin’s, but still, it was mean of Chanel to call Holly mean when she most certainly was not mean! In a childlike manner, those were the words that felt more insulting to Holly than the actual insults that someone like Brooklyn would say to her regularly. “Because she was taking Collin’s side after he stole the dog from the party away from me,” she explained. “I wish we could have kept that dog for us,” she added more solemnly. “I wish Collin was a dog instead of a person.” She wasn’t saying that to be offensive—thinking about Blue had reminded her of how blue the dog’s eyes were, which had in turn reminded her of Collin, and allowed her to consider that maybe he would look like that as a dog.

“Oh yeah, that dog was cute!” Cara said, remembering how Holly had made her grand entrance in the midst of a conversation with her dad and stepmother while chasing the dog. “My dad thought you were very funny when he met you at the party, by the way” she added. She glanced at her phone, returning to her conversation with Chanel, and rolling her eyes upon confirmation that she still hadn’t responded. Seriously, why was she being so dramatic over this? Like, sorry for trying to protect you??? “Oooh, you know what we should do?” she said, though she paused in her revelation for a few seconds as she read the texts Roman had just sent her. She continued talking, albeit distractedly, as she typed back a response.

To: Roman
Yeah right ! You barely tell me anything like that

To: Roman
When was the last time you went home?

“I need you to help me clean out my closet. I’m holding on to way too much and it’s really weighing down my energy, so I need your opinion on a bunch of stuff,” she explained as she stood from the couch.​

 

[cure]

"Oooh, you'll have to come visit me! I work Monday and Wednesday mornings!" Dominique gushed, before being flagged down by a customer a few feet away who wanted something. She managed to mask her annoyance well as she excused herself from Elijah and Chanel to tend to him.

"I promise you don't wanna hear that voice nonstop while you're trying to workout," Elijah warned Chanel lightheartedly as he sipped his drink. "And if I was into your friend the way I'm into you, I wouldn't be trying to get her behind this bar either," he offered. It wasn't like working here was that bad; Dominique was definitely dramatic. Still, Elijah definitely didn't have a kink for watching other men flirt with the girl he was into, so that wasn't going to happen. Chanel was bubbly and had an energy that attracted people, so she honestly would have made a great bartender. She was attractive, trendy, and all of that. Plus, he assumed she had just as many wealthy friends looking to shell out money and make her workplace their new "spot", so she would have been an equally attractive choice, but yeah, no. As Dominique pointed out, the guys that came to this bar (and honestly, probably any bar) had a tendency to get rowdy after a few drinks and he wasn't interested in exposing her to their obnoxious comments and attempts. Besides, he didn't need Chanel hanging out with his employees without him there because god only could predict what ludicrous shit that they would come up with to embarrass him. "You could do much better than here anyway. Do you have a job?" Despite feeling comfortable around her, Elijah didn't actually know much about Chanel. He still didn't really understand her living situation, her financial situation, her drug dealer neighbors... nonetheless the basics of if she had a job, if she was still in school, and so on.

Chanel considered joking that she was a full time social media influencer but figured that probably wouldn't help disproving Elijah's rich girl theory. "Full time student," she offered. It was a nicer way of saying she was basically just living off loans right now. The on-campus gigs and barista work weren't really going to do much by way of her student debt, but she tried to tell herself that every little penny counted. After last week's party, though, she was feeling a bit more confident about her financial prospects. She didn't even have to sell all of her jewelry to pay off her loans and the rest of her lease. Still, that was a lot of money to handle and Chanel wasn't trying to deal with it just yet. "But I might work for my aunt this summer. She has an event planning company and my mom keeps telling her that I would be great at it, for whatever reason." She laughed off her mom acting as a publicist, as she was sure it was really her mom being concerned that her eldest daughter would become a failure and not that she really believed Chanel had any event planning skills. When she asked her mom about why on earth she would lie to her aunt like that, her mother was dumbfounded. "What do you mean? You're so popular and have all the Instagram people that like you." Chanel knew that didn't correlate to knowing about event planning, let alone being good at it, but given that her mother couldn't really come up with any of hard skills when Chanel pressed her about it was a bit of reality check. Even her own mother seemed to see her the way everyone else did, which wasn't a smart, capable young woman, but instead a pretty girl with a pretty life to look at it. She still needed to respond to her aunt's texts, but she had been avoiding them namely because she was afraid of failing. It would just prove that she really didn't have much to offer. But perhaps that would be less embarrassing than doing nothing all summer while her peers got internships and the like.

"You're not in school, are you? What do you have to do get this kind of set up in New York City?"

"Oh, nice," Elijah nodded. He could definitely see Chanel in event planning, though he only really had this past weekend's party to go off of. Then again, that party spoke for herself. It was the kind of event that you'd see the Kardashians posting about, just casually shelling out a couple million dollars for a birthday party. And not even a twenty-first birthday, or something "monumental" like that, just a random birthday! "I could definitely see you doing that too, and after that party last weekend, don't even try to play the confused why anyone would think that card," he teased. She was modest, which was cool. She didn't need to be, and he didn't expect her to be given how cool of a girl she seemed to be, but it was still refreshing. A lot of girls and guys who had a lot less going for them than Chanel did were way less humble, so it just spoke to her character a bit.

"I'm not in school anymore, nah," he added. "You gotta be dumb as hell to get this kind of set up in New York City. Between the rent costs in this city, and this one giving away one hundred free shots a night," he said, nodding to Dominique, who had shifted to the other side of the bar to help patrons, "I'm just reminded on a daily basis that I should've went the finance bro route," he joked. "What are you majoring in? I feel like you'd be into communications, or design or something."

"Pretty close!" She exclaimed, not hiding the impress from her face. "I'm graphic design. I've been all over the place since I graduated high school though. So long as I graduate before my brothers, I'll be happy. I don't have a summer internship, and my aunt would pay me, so it's probably not something I can really say no to. I also minor in marketing so that I feel like I have some chance of getting a job after I graduate." She phrased her statement more like a question because even she wasn't sure what she was going for. It seemed to make the most sense in her mind. It was business...y. Besides not taking too many credit hours each semester, and taking a bunch of breaks, she also kept taking her time with her major classes. She didn't feel ready to graduate, so she would throw in a business class as opposed to one of her required art classes. She was treating her degree like her younger brother thought of his diploma: a resume that needed to be padded to the brim.

It was one of the areas of insecurity for her. It was just hard to focus and act like she cared when she felt burnt out, and then felt guilty for feeling burnt out because she clearly didn't have it as bad as her eldest brother who literally tried offing himself because of it. She didn't feel like working towards it, but she also felt she didn't deserve to push through it either. If anything, she was afraid her karma was waiting on the other side of the graduation stage. Limbo was fine for now. Her voice dropped some and she pursed her lips as she looked towards Elijah. "It made more sense back then, but New York City just makes you a bit of a realist." She didn't want to do the whole starving artist thing, so the chances of her staying in New York for graphic design were slim. "If I can keep freelancing and hold a more regular job, I think I'd be okay with that for a little bit. Not that you asked for all of that information."​

 

[lauren.]

“Okay!” Holly said, popping up from her seat eagerly. She picked up her now-empty glass and carried it inside, trailing just a few steps behind Cara. “Is your dad home?” she asked, now that Cara had put him on her mind. Holly hadn’t paid too much mine to the man when she had met him briefly over the weekend. Perhaps she would have cared about him a bit more if he hadn’t been competing for her attention with a puppy, but with the dog there, he didn’t have a chance. Plus, Chanel and Collin had lured her away from Cara’s dad within seconds, which may have been for the best. One of the first things that Holly had noticed about him and Cara’s stepmom was how much older he appeared to be compared to her. It wasn’t that he looked bad for his age either, but rather that his wife looked young, and it said something that Holly of all people would pick up on that. While Cara remarked frequently in ways that suggested she didn’t like her stepmother, Holly had never grasped that explicitly. “Does your stepmom sleep in the room where your real mom used to sleep?” she asked once they were inside.

While she had been to Cara’s house before, it was still a special occasion in her mind when she was invited over. Like her summer home, everything here felt fancy and expensive and breakable. Everything had a spot it belonged in, was neat, and felt like a museum. Even in museums, “look but don’t touch” wasn’t something that resonated with Holly, so it was even less of a thought on her mind here. She was touching everything from the walls to the picture frames to the furniture, oftentimes for no reason at all other than a desire for stimulation. Her question about where her stepmother slept probably felt random, but it was tied into a long, hard to follow train of thought about how the house was so big that there had to be enough bedrooms for Cara to sleep in a new bed every day of the week if she wanted to! “And why do you have this house and a house on the beach? Because it’s only you, and your dad, and Collin, and your stepmom, and that means you have two houses plus your apartment for... three people! That’s a lot!” she exclaimed through laughter. “When we go to Chanel’s house, I think probably her brothers have bunk beds because they’re twins and that’s what twins do, and maybe they’ll let me sleep on the top bunk and you can sleep on the bottom bunk and they can sleep here at your house while we sleep at their ho—“ She couldn’t finish that thought, because they were headed down a hallway that was long enough to remind her of a hotel.

The doors were all shut, which meant that Holly instinctively felt compelled to knock on each one as they passed them, laughing to herself every time. “Your house has a lot of doors!” she declared, still laughing. “Roman’s house probably has one door, but we’ll see when we get there! And I know Chanel’s house has a lot of doors. A lot of very tall doors because I know her brothers and they’re very tall like her and if their doors are small then they’ll get stuck and—“ Again, she didn’t finish her thought, as a newer and more important one took over. “Have you ever read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Because that’s my favorite book and I can get it for you at the library if you haven’t read it yet!”

“I definitely read that book when I was a kid, it sounds familiar,” Cara answered. “What made you think of that?” She didn’t feel compelled to address Holly’s other questions. If it wasn’t Holly asking it, the one about her stepmother sleeping in her mother’s bed might have struck a chord with her, but she didn’t take those types of questions to heart when it came from Holly’s mouth. She knew that Holly wasn’t asking in an attempt to get an emotional response out of Cara, and she moved past it without demanding a response, so Cara wasn’t going to return to a subject she didn’t want to address in the first place.

“Hmmm... I don’t know!” She answered with a laugh. And she really didn’t. Most of the times her thoughts had links between each other, even if they seemed random, but other times, even if they did, she couldn’t really grasp what the link was. Her mind moved too quickly for her to completely realize why she was jumping from one thing to another.

“You always say the most random things. I can only imagine what goes on in that head of yours,” Cara noted with a curious smile.

“Did you know that I have ADHD?” Holly answered, eyes wide and a smile on her face as if she was revealing an exciting secret. She was aware of her diagnosis; it had been mentioned many, many times in doctors appointments, teacher conferences, trips to the principal’s office for talking too much... “But with my medicine it’s fixing it! And Ruby said that my brain is like a race car and it goes faster than other people’s and that’s good because then I can have lots of ideas and think about lots of stories and people but if I don’t take the medicine then it’s like the race car doesn’t have brakes so even when I want it to stop or slow down it won’t be able to but since I take medicine it helps it to have brakes! And if your race car has brakes then when you pass by a dog and you want to stop to get out and pet it, you can do that instead of zooming past it!” The Adderall was helping her. It probably didn’t seem completely obvious on the outside, especially since Ruby was still working out the kinks with dosages and combo medications, but Holly could feel the difference herself. She had recently switched over to an extended release version of the medication. It helped in terms of compliance, since she only had to take it once a day instead of three times, but it also wore off faster than it was supposed to, so she could feel the difference by early afternoon some days.

“Mmm... that makes sense. Do you think it’s helping?”

“Yes!”

“Well that’s good! What is she giving you? Adderall?”

“Yes, but there’s two! That and another one!”

“I feel like I should be on that too, honestly,” Cara groaned, pushing open her bedroom door and flopping back onto her bed. “I need to reorganize my life and that’s probably the only thing that will give me the motivation to do so. I bet I would have cleaned out my closest weeks ago if I could take that.”

“Well, you can just ask Ruby because then she puts it in the computer and then when you go to CVS the lady behind the counter gives you a whole bottle!” Holly exclaimed. They could be medicine twins! How fun would that be?!

“Yeah, but she’s not nice to me like she’s nice to you,” Cara countered, reaching over to plug her phone in to charge. She leaned forward, propping herself up with her elbows. If she wanted Adderall badly enough, she could get it, but it was more of a fleeting desire. “I will literally pay you to help me sort out my closet,” she offered, allowing her head to fall back on the pillows. Between her drinks with Roman, and the ones with Holly, she was feeling tipsy enough that she wanted to continue relaxing. The idea of sorting out her closet sounded dreadful enough that she was happy to incentivize the deal to get Holly to do most of it, even though she had already agreed to do it with no strings attached just a moment ago.​

 

[lauren.]

Obviously, Cara didn’t need to offer Holly money to help her. Not because Holly was above accepting money from a friend, but because there was nothing she wanted more than to have permission to go through someone else’s things. With her consistent (and much needed) daily reminders from Makayla that she wasn’t allowed to go into Chanel or Ruby’s room on a whim and look at their stuff, it was exciting to be invited to do that at Cara’s. A lot of things fascinated Holly, so maybe that didn’t hold much weight, but Cara’s closet was truly mesmerizing. It was larger than the bedroom that she and Makayla had grown up in, and was probably even larger than the one they shared now. Her clothes were so neatly organized, and she had a million shelves with shoes of every style and color, and a big island in the middle of the room which Holly, knew from previous visits, was filled with beautiful jewelry and accessories. There was even a couch!

As Cara stopped short in her bedroom to lay on her bed, Holly was already venturing inside of the closet, laughing with excitement. “You have a lot of clothes!” she pointed out, immediately reaching out to run her hand over all of the garments hanging on one of the walls in front of her. “Why do you need to sort it out?” she asked from inside the closet. ““It looks super neat to me!”

“It’s like the opposite of neat, Holl," Cara groaned, pulling herself up from her bed to check out the closet for herself. "I need to get someone to come in and like really really organize it for me." What she really felt like she needed was for her room to be completely redone, maybe knock down a wall to extend the closet. Even though she didn't live here any more, it would be hard to tell that based on how much she still stored in her childhood bedroom. She would leave clothes she didn't wear frequently, or clothes of another season here, since her actual closet was so tiny compared to this. Holly was right, though; her room and closet did appear to be neat, but mostly just in the sense that everything had a place. Most of the things here were items that she didn't even remember she had, and therefore, it just innately felt overwhelming and disorganized to her. "But until then, help me pick out stuff to give away! Ooh, and don’t let me forget that we need to go shopping before you start school! Girls can be so mean in high school, so we’re going to dress you so well that you get to be the mean girl.” Cara was a little buzzed or else she wouldn't have been so careless with her speech, but at the same time, she felt like it was important to converse with Holly in at least a semi-mature manner... especially now that she was going into high school! She needed to be prepared!

“Why are they mean?” Holly asked, the question stemmed more from curiosity than concern, because she wasn't really sure where Cara was going with that. Why would having new clothes make someone mean?

“I mean, the only time anyone was ever mean to me in high school was because they were ugly and jealous of me. People like me and you really take it for granted that we were born with good noses, Holl. You don’t even think about it, but let me tell you, so many of the jealous, nasty girls I went to high school with were so insecure about the horrible genes their parents gave them that they were getting work done at sixteen and would make up rumors about us pretty people to deflect from their own insecurities. Really pathetic. But you won’t have that problem; you’re going to public school, right? I would be more worried about being stabbed during gym class or something.” Okay, so maybe Cara was a bit more than a little buzzed. Not necessarily because she didn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth, because she did, but because she was probably more comfortable than she should have been verbalizing them aloud to Holly of all people.

Holly had picked up a sweatshirt from one of the shelves, and was trying to focus on Cara's words despite being more captivated by how soft it felt between her fingers. “Why would someone get stabbed during gym class?” she asked, visibly confused then. That sounded scary, but Holly had taken physical education classes throughout her entire life, and there were no stabbings involved in them. She was semi-aware that she hadn't been following Cara's entire spiel, so she supposed that maybe she had just missed certain words that would have given that claim context.

“They wouldn’t, I’m being dramatic, don’t listen to me. But really, Chanel went to public school and was def a mean girl, so you’ll probably deal with her type. We can ask her about it when she decides to stop being dramatic,” she insisted, before pointing to the sweater that Holly was holding. "That can definitely go in the donate pile."

“​

 

[A_Writer]

“Chanel’s not a mean girl,” Holly countered, in what wasn’t exactly a defensive tone, but definitely a confident one. She was still kind of confused about what Cara was saying, but she knew for certain that her claim about Chanel definitely being a mean girl couldn’t be true. If her perception of Brooklyn said anything, it was that Holly struggled to see the people she loved in anything less than a perfect light, and perhaps that was true of Chanel too. In Holly’s defense when it came to Chanel though, she really behaved in the opposite of a mean girl manner in her interactions with Holly, so Holly had even less of a reason to think it was plausible for her to have ever been one. If she would reject Brooklyn being labeled as mean even after being yelled at by the blonde just for laughing too loudly, then she understandably was going to reject Chanel being called it when she was consistent in being able to put on a smile and cheery tone even when answering a question Holly had asked her twenty times before. What added to Holly’s confusion was that she didn’t really grasp pettiness and the backhanded compliment type of behavior that a lot of girls, Cara included, partook in.

She knew that Cara and Chanel were friends, and while she understood that sometimes friends could be annoyed at each other, Holly took Cara’s words at face value. It didn’t register with her that Cara really was just being dramatic (and probably the mean girl, herself) by throwing little jabs at Chanel right now just because she was annoyed by her ignoring her. She just assumed that Cara didn’t realize that what she was saying could be taken as mean, in a similar way to how Makayla would often correct her for saying inappropriate things that she didn’t realize were inappropriate. “And… I don’t think that—well, because Chanel is my friend and your friend so I don’t think we should say that she’s dramatic or mean because that would make her feel bad,” she explained. “We can say that she’s a nice girl and has very smooth legs because one time when she was sitting on the couch I touched her leg and it felt very soft!” she said, laughing aloud by the end of the suggestion.

“And I think you should keep this because he’s going to be so upset if he goes to the donation pile!” she insisted, clutching the sweater in her hands a bit tighter. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt defensive over Cara giving it away, but after feeling like Cara was being too harsh regarding Chanel, her thoughts of someone’s feelings being hurt were somehow bleeding into feeling like Cara was hurting this sweater’s feelings too. “And your closet is really big so maybe you can just keep everything!”​

 

[electric]

Cara sighed, though it was more of a light hearted and dramatic sigh than a frustrated one. Still, Holly didn’t get it, and she needed to. Cara appreciated Holly’s naivety and her positive outlook on life, but high schoolers had the potential to be mean. She didn’t want to scare Holly but she did feel like she owed it to her to at least prepare her for what she was going to be dealing with. It was ignorant on Cara’s part, perhaps, simply given how Holly had likely dealt with far more bullying than Cara would ever experience in her lifetime. While she assumed that Holly didn’t have many friends at school, she also didn’t really know what Holly was like around people of her own age. She wasn’t sure if people coddled her in the way that the people on their floor did, because while they were all able to note her differences, kids around her age were likely less empathetic. Holly didn’t look any different than your typical teenager, and there were times when she probably could fit in with the masses… at least for a few minutes. Cara imagined that she would be shown less compassion by her peers than someone with a visible disability might have been, and would probably just be labeled as being ”weird”.

She paused for a moment as she noticed a text on her phone, and it came in at a good time, since she was tempted to insist that Chanel was being mean and that was unnecessary at this point. The text was from one of her best friends who she had known since childhood. While she had seen her just recently at Chanel’s party, her half-joking text about how she was offended that Cara hadn’t invited over, likely after seeing the Instagram story she had posted of she and Holly’s drinks on the roof, wasn’t entirely shocking. Cara had been a bit flighty when it came to hanging out with her friends in recent months. She went out and did things and it wasn’t likely she had completely ghosted them all, but it was clear to them that she had been distracted by something. Cara didn’t care to really address it, though, especially since it was possible that her prioritizing hanging out with Roman when he was free, even if sometimes meant canceling on plans, was part of what was going on. Her response to the text telling her friend and her twin sister, who Cara was also close with, to come over was impulsive and also half-joking, but she wasn’t flustered when Elisha said that they actually would, since it worked out perfectly. They could help her teach Holly how to stick up for herself. While Cara didn’t consider her or her friends to be mean girls, growing up it was possible that other people did, but beyond that, she was certain that they all at least knew how to be bitches when necessary.

Holly and Cara ended up going downstairs to have a snack, and just as they were finishing up, the girls arrived. Cara left Holly to let them in, and Holly wandered back over to the pantry to see if there was anything else that looked tasty. The food that they had here were mostly brands that Holly wasn’t familiar with—lots of organic stuff, and not a lot of junk food. Holly didn’t want to eat kale chips, some sort of Cheez-It like cracker made out of cauliflower, or Cheetos made out of chickpeas. While she probably would have been fine eating them had she not read their packaging, she was picky and didn’t like trying new things that weren’t clearly loaded with sugar. Luckily, as she ventured to the fridge, she realized that they had ice cream, and she was never not in the mood for ice cream! “Can I have some of this?!” she asked, laughing to herself as she was already scooping some into a bowl when Cara and her friends came in. “You’re twins!” she exclaimed, pausing mid-scoop as she looked at the two brunettes. Chanel’s brothers were also twins! Just like the girls in “Parent Trap“, and Phil and Lil, and Zack and Cody, and Chip and Dale! “And Cara said that you’re her friends and you were at Chanel’s birthday party but you didn’t say hi to me so I don’t know if I like you,” she said, with a deadpan frown. She burst into laughter just a second later though, exclaiming, “Just kidding! I do like you!” before looking to Cara. “Does your dad have any sprinkles?”

“Literally shocked that you were ‘free’ today,” Elisha teased, nudging Cara as they walked through her house. She was quite familiar with the space as she had spent a lot of time here growing up, but it had been a minute since she had been here as an adult. While Cara had been flakey lately, it had less to do with that and more to do with them all just growing up. Instead of hanging out at their parents homes, they would meet up at restaurants or clubs, or their own apartments. Oddly though, Cara had never invited them over to her apartment. Elisha knew that she didn’t like her apartment as that was always Cara’s excuse, and if she had ever been there or seen it for herself, she wouldn’t have blamed Cara. What they were used to and had grown up with meant that a walk up apartment building, roommates, and a lack of amenities could easily be mistaken as being part of “the projects”.

”Right? You make one new friend and suddenly we’re second class,” Renee quipped, speaking of Chanel. She had found Chanel to be delightful and fun over the weekend, but she had to tease too because Cara did deserve it. It wasn’t like she was working forty hours a week or anything, so didn’t get to be as unreliable as she had been lately! Blowing off a weekend in Nantucket, their annual spring trip to Saint Tropez, and ignoring half the texts in the group chat on a daily basis… something was off! She and Elisha would find out what that something was after getting a few glasses of the bottle of Pinot Noir that they had brought over into Cara.

The girls didn’t know that Cara had another friend over until they walked into the kitchen to see a younger girl. They knew of Holly because of the photos that Cara had posted during their trip to Disney World over the winter, but they were still confused on what their relationship entailed and currently, why she was here. They looked between each other curiously at her peppy behavior, before looking to Cara for some sort of explanation.

 

[lauren.]

“Why are dramatic people drawn to me?” Cara commented, as if it wasn’t a perfect example of your vibe attracting your tribe. Cara was the queen of drama herself, but it was easier to pretend that the girls were over reacting and being dramatic than to own up to being hard to pin down recently. “I literally just saw you guys this weekend, so I don’t have a single clue as to what you’re referring to,” she continued teasingly, opting to feign ignorance.

They were in the kitchen before Cara could give them a heads up about Holly being over, but she didn’t think anything of it. Holly was sweet, everyone loved her. As she greeted the girls in her typically quirky manner, Cara supposed that maybe she should have given them a little warning, though. “You know my stepmother is evil, Holly so definitely no on the sprinkles,” she replied, slipping away from the twins sides in route to the pantry. “But there might be M&M’s in here. Those are usually good on ice cream,” she suggested, retrieving a sharing sized bag of mini M&Ms. She poured some into a small bowl, and returned the tub of ice cream to the freezer once Holly had helped herself to a few scoops.

“This is Holly,” Cara eventually said, looking back to her friends with a smile. “She… lives with Chanel,” she said, though she was sure Holly had come up before in conversation with them. “And Holly, these are my friends, Elisha and Renee. They’re going to help me teach you how to make sure no one tries to mess with you now that you’re going to be a high schooler,” she insisted, before looking back to the girls. “Holly’s very nice, but maybe too nice for her own good,” she explained. “And since you two were both bitches growing up, I wanted you to help me teach her how to deal with your type now that she’s going to be starting high school,” she continued with a playful smile. “And to make matters worse, she’s going to a public school,” she added in a whisper. “And her sister is a ‘crackhead’ so she definitely didnt try to get her into a good one,” she added, still in a whisper, and mouthing “crackhead” instead of whispering it aloud. ​

 

[electric]

Collin was in a good mood… no, a great mood. This past weekend had been wild and not even the very, very rough comedown from the drugs had managed to cripple the way he felt. Maybe calling it his awakening would be pushing it, but he really did feel like a new person. It wasn’t like he had lost his virginity this weekend, but he might as well have with how renewed he felt. He had been a lucky man to sleep with Brooklyn, but that came with so many complications that it barely felt like a good thing after all was said and done. This time, there were no strings attached. No sister drama. No drug dealing boyfriend. Nothing. Just a body built for Playboy, and lots and lots of coke.

For once in his life, he felt cool. He felt like he was doing what young people were supposed to be doing. He was being reckless and stupid, but it was fun, and that was all that mattered. Moving forward, that was all that mattered. He didn’t want to let his anxiety and insecurities hold him back anymore. Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy to turn his back on everything he knew without the help of drugs in his system, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t get his hands on more if he needed it.

He was riding this high and if there was anyone who would test whether he could keep up this new persona or not, it was Cara. She didn’t need a reason to humble anyone, especially her brother.

“Renee, Elisha and Holly? It must be my lucky day,” he announced as he entered the kitchen, flaunting a smile that bordered a smirk. He knew that Cara would be bothered by his mere presence, despite this being his space just as much as it was hers, but that was kind of the point.

“Is there a reason for why you need to be here right now?”

“Other than to annoy you? Not really, but it’s been a minute since I’ve been able to catch up with the most beautiful set of twins in the Upper East Side, so… perfect timing.”

“No one wants you here, get out.”

“Yeah, get out before we make Nick punch you in the head again!” Holly chirped, though it was followed by laughter. Collin was on her bad side after the dog incident this past weekend, but it wasn’t as deep as she would make it seem. In her next thought, she was already thinking about asking him what his favor ice cream flavor was, but then she spotted a blue M&M on her ice cream, and reached in to pluck it out. The blue dye leeched onto her fingers as she popped it into her mouth, and then she laughed again, because she felt like she was eating Collin’s eye since it was the same color.

“Just for that, I think I’m gonna buy a puppy and never let you see it. Or maybe I’ll teach it to bite people with red hair.”

“That’s not ni—“

“He’s joking,” Cara said, cutting Holly off more sharply than she intended to as she rounded the island and grabbed Collin’s arm, digging her fingernails into his skin. “I’m serious, get out,” she said.

Long were the childhood days where Collin could get away with hitting Cara back. When they were kids, they would fight all of the time, and it was oftentimes physical. Nothing crazy, just your typical sibling shit, but as they got older, Collin was taught that boys weren’t supposed to hit girls… even if girls hit them. Cara was barely a girl though, so he always considered that he had some sort of technicality on his side there. Could a part ogre, part witch, part serpent really be held to the same standards as a normal and kind person? He didn’t think so, and it was why he pinched Cara’s claw-like hand in an attempt to get her to relinquish her grip on him.

“Ruby said there’s never a good reason to hurt someone,” Holly offered, commenting semi-distractedly as she continued to enjoy her ice cream. It didn’t strike her that Collin was behaving more boldly than his typical self, but that was probably because the dog situation had cast him in an extreme villain light in her mind — even if only temporarily. “Not even if they hit you first.”

“Ruby doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Cara snappes, releasing Collin’s flesh from her grip, but giving him a solid slap across the head for good measure. “Some people are so stupid that the only way they’ll understand that they’re unwanted is by hurting them.” Seriously though, what was wrong with Collin? Now that Holly mentioned it, was it possible that a concussion from months ago could randomly spur bizarre behavior like this…?

The twins wore expressions that blurred the lines of amused and uncomfortable. Like Cara, they were confused because the Collin that they knew was shy, if not awkward. Unlike Cara though, they didn’t despise Collin. In fact, if he wasn’t Cara’s brother, they would probably willingly admit that he was hot, at least appearance wise. Then again, as Renee eyed him with a bit of curiosity, maybe this personality he was suddenly donning was attractive too. She knew better than to verbalize that, though. Not only because it would be inappropriate in this specific moment, but also because she knew that Cara wouldn’t like that.

Collin wasn’t quick enough to dodge Cara’s hand before it connected with his head, but it wasn’t like it really hurt anyway. “I’ll go, but only because I have plans,” he reasoned, grabbing a drink from the drive before retreating towards the exit. “And II’ll let Brooklyn know that you girls said hi when I see her in a bit,” he called out, just to piss Cara off. It felt like forever ago, but it hasn’t been that long since he had awkwardly run into his sister and Chanel in this exact room with said roommate.

As he turned away from them, the new Collin decided that he didn’t just have to talk a big talk, he could walk it too.

To: Brooklyn
Hey

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t bold enough to make a move, but he didn’t even know if he actually wanted to make a move. He knew that he didn’t want to deal with drama with his sister, but the more he thought about it, the more it felt like a risk worth taking. Maybe it was time to put Nick in his place, too. That would prove that he was a new person, if nothing else did…

To: Chanel
Hey

And for safe measure, he’d throw his hat into the ring for another of Cara’s friends that he had no shot with. He refused to acknowledge that what he was doing was out of character because he didn’t want to second guess himself. How hard could it be to behave like a fuck boy? He’d grown up with enough of them to understand how it worked, and to understand how in reality, those were always the guys that finished first.

 

[cure]

"Oh come on, if you didn't like her, which we all know would be 99% more likely than not, there's no way you'd sit there with a smile on your face," Nick contended lightly, as he dipped a piece of lobster in butter. Brooklyn was lying through her teeth if she seriously thought she would accept anyone Roman brought around as a girlfriend. It didn't matter if the girl was perfect in every way, shape, and form--Nick was convinced that Brooke would find a reason to criticize her, or decide that she wasn't right for Roman. It stemmed from protectiveness, something that Nick was aware Brooklyn felt towards Roman more than Roman probably even realized, but maybe there was even jealousy there too. He knew that Brooklyn didn't like being anyone's second choice, and even if you had good reason to tell her "no", or back out of a plan, she was going to be spiteful about it. In some cases deserved, and in others, she was just being petty. Since they all apparently were mostly friendless (at least in terms of close friends) outside of their little circle, Nick knew that it would take time for Brooklyn to adjust to no longer being the woman closest to Roman. Obviously Nick didn't think that Brooklyn felt any sort of romantic way towards Roman, but he just was convinced that she wouldn't like playing second fiddle to someone, even if that someone made him happy. Not being able to demand that he come over and hang out whenever she was in the mood, or being able to joke around with him without another set of eyes watching them, was bound to irk her, even if she didn't want to admit it now. It wasn't something they had to worry about, since Nick doubted Roman would jump into a relationship ever, nonetheless any time soon, but it was still funny to think about. Part of him almost wanted Roman to, just to prove to Brooklyn that he was right.

"If Roman brought Cara over here, and called her his girlfriend, you're really telling us you'd be able to sit across from her with a smile on her face and be nice?" he suggested, laughing out loud at the mere thought of it. He and Roman had briefly spoken about Cara a little while ago, so she was on his mind because of that, but she also came to mind because she was the easiest example of how wrong Brooklyn's blanket claim was. If she hated anyone, it was Cara, and even if Roman claimed that she was his soulmate, Nick doubted Brooklyn would be able to be civil, nonetheless kind to her.

“Unlike you, Roman would never betray me like that, so I’m not even humoring that question.” Brooklyn lived with Cara, and that was more than enough of the girl in her life. She didn’t need Nick bringing her up for no reason, especially since she knew that he was aware of how Cara could instantly ruin her mood thanks to his actions. It was unnecessary, especially since the hypothetical question seemed incredibly unrealistic.

It was a decent point. Nick figured that Roman probably was too good at heart to do that to Brooklyn (even though in truth, Nick didn’t think it would really be deep enough to count as a “betrayal”). “Alright, alright,” he agreed before shoving more food into his mouth. By the time he finished chewing, he had another point to contribute, though. “What if she’s just a random girl, someone he works with, but when you meet her and are talking and all, and tell her you’re a stripper, she makes the face you used to make towards Roman when you’d find him just waking up at 4:00 PM on a Wednesday?” It was a specific example, but Brooklyn‘s expressions, especially those containing negative emotions, were worth a thousand words. The one that Nick was describing now was a classic “you’re pathetic but I almost feel bad for you because of it” look of hers. “You still think you’d be able to play nice?”

“Really?” she questioned, sincerely trying not to get annoyed. She knew that Nick was joking around, and yes, Brooklyn could take a joke (sometimes), but he was getting on her nerves. She didn’t like stupid what-if scenarios. If Roman dated some dumb bitch who wanted to test her, then yes, Brooklyn would put her into her place whether Roman liked it or not, but Roman wasn’t an idiot. Well, he was, but he wasn’t that inconsiderate. That was probably the better word. He was a dumbass just like Nick was, but Brooklyn didn’t think that Roman would date someone who Brooklyn would obviously clash with. Not because of anything personal to herself, but more so because Brooklyn didn’t think that she was that hard to get along with. An ounce delusional, maybe, but she truly did think she would be able to keep it pleasant if he brought around someone normal. But no, Nick, if some bitch wanted to look down on her for how she paid the bills, then no, she wouldn’t play nice, and she shouldn’t be expected to. However, she felt like it shouldn’t ever even get to that hypothetical point, because Roman would know better than to bring some disrespectful little bitch around.

“You’re both annoying,” she decided. “But considering that I still live with the bitch you slept with, I’m pretty sure that I’m better at ‘playing nice’ than anyone gives me credit for.”

Yikes, Roman thought silently to himself. "I'm not even a part of this conversation," Roman said passively. He really was just trying to focus on eating his food, but now he knew even more than before that him and Cara staying under wraps was for the best. Of course, if Roman was with someone who looked down on Brooklyn (which he kind of was,) he wouldn't expect Brooklyn to play it cordial. But he also knew that Brooklyn playing nice was her playing petty, at best. "But if I was," Roman said, extending his hand and raising his brow. "I'd say that you already know I'm not the girlfriend-boyfriend type. You both already know this. Dating you two is enough for me as it is."

To: Cara
Couple years. I haven't been back since I left.​

 

[lauren.]

(Time skip to whenever cure wants )

“Okay, so let’s pretend that you’re at the store, and you want to buy this box of tissues, this bag of chips, and these sunglasses,” Ruby began, picking up three of the items that lay beside her on the rug, and placing it on the coffee table that separated her and Holly. Each of the items, as well as the array of others scattered beside her, had a post-it note stuck to it with a price written on it: the tissues were priced at $2.00, the chips $3.50, and the sunglasses $8.00. She slid the three items over towards Holly, as she continued. “So, I’m the cashier, and you’re coming to check out, right?”

“Yup! Because I’m on my way to the beach, so I need sunglasses, and of course I’m going to be hungry!” Holly exclaimed, laughing. “So I definitely need chips! And I need the tissues to make little blankets for the sand crabs that live there!” So far, this game was fun. She liked pretend play, and she liked spending one-on-one time with Ruby, so it was a win-win. They hadn’t gotten to the math part yet, so maybe that would change, but for now, she was enjoying herself.

“Okay, perfect. And how much money did you bring to the store with you?” she prompted, nodding to the twenty dollar bill she had given Holly a few minutes earlier to use during the scenario.

“Twenty dollars!”

“Great! So if your items cost $8.00, $3.50, and $2.00, how much will it cost all together?”

“Well, actually, Ruby, I think you’re supposed to tell me that because you’re the cashier, remember?”

”Right, right, but we’re pretending this is real life, right? So before you get to the register when you’re in a store, you want to know around how much money you’re going to be spending, so you know you have enough money on you. So let’s see, what’s eight dollars , plus three dollars and fifty cents, plus two dollars?”

Holly reached picked up the box of tissues and slid it across the table. “Beep!” she said, laughing again, before repeating the motion with the other two items. “I scanned them, so now it will tell you on the screen how much it costs!” she explained. Holly wasn’t incapable of doing simple math, but she definitely didn’t enjoy it enough to want to try doing it right now. While most people could do math like this in their heads, she simply couldn’t. Her brain didn’t work that way, and even if she had a pencil and paper, or something physical to count with, it would probably take her a try or two to get it right.

“Now you’re just being silly!” Ruby complained light heartedly. By now, Ruby was familiar with Holly’s youthful personality, and that was why they were doing this to begin with, but how she behaved was still sometimes curious, even to Ruby. “It’s important to know, because you don’t want to get ripped off, right? Some people aren’t as nice as you and I, and they might try to trick you and take more money from you than you actually owe. If you already know how much you should owe, then they can’t fool you, and since you love shopping so much, we definitely want to know this kind of stuff, Holls!” She wasn’t feeling impatient because she knew that this wasn’t Holly’s favorite subject, but she did hope to spin it in a way where Holly understood how important it was. Ruby honestly didn’t know how independent Holly would be able to be in life, but she deserved a fair chance at independence. She didn’t need to be fluent in trigonometry or global history, but knowing how to count money, or how to use the oven were essential to her survival. Even if she wasn’t feeling impatient or frustrated (yet), she also understood why Makayla didn’t want any part in this. Ruby wasn’t an educator by trade, and she didn’t always know how to explain things that just seemed to be common sense to her. “Let’s just start with the eight dollar sunglasses,” she began, holding up eight fingers. “And the two dollar tissues,” she continued, adding two more. “So how much do you owe for these two together?”

“Ten!” That was easy enough.

“Right! And now let’s add three dollars and fifty cents to the ten, so you put out three fingers and we’ll add the fifty cents to whatever that equals!”

It was the fifty cents that threw Holly off, so much so that she was now completely lost. Sometimes her brain worked in the way where once it got lost, she became frustrated and just didn’t want to attempt whatever she was doing anymore. Other times, it really just left her confused and unsure of where to even start again, even if she wanted to. That was how she was feeling now, as she stared at Ruby’s hands. She was trying to figure out how to convert fifty cents into fingers, and when it didn’t make any cents, she lost track of where they were all together. “How many fingers makes fifty cents?” she asked, looking away from the hands to Ruby.​

 

[lauren.]

"Perfect timing, I was just on my way to file a missing person's report," Cara quipped sarcastically, just after turning the stairwell from one floor to another, and spotting Chanel coming up that flight towards her. Chanel had been radio silent since her dramatic response to Cara looking out for her, and while Cara had already justified the fact that she could be mad at Chanel for worrying her like that, she was going to be the bigger person and let it go. It wasn't right for Chanel to have ghosted her, potentially leaving Cara worried that Elijah had killed her on their little date or whatever the hell they had been doing, but whatever, she would let it go for the sake of being a good friend.

If her tone didn't speak to how she was being sarcastic, her outfit did, as it was evident that Cara was on her way out. Maybe running into Chanel was a sign from God though, she surmised. She had been headed out to meet Alex, her ex from years ago, and though she had eventually decided on going ahead with it, there had been a lot of flip-flopping on whether that was smart beforehand. She and Roman were doing well... sort of. It was hard to decide what was good or not, when she didn't know what she wanted, or at least not what she wanted that was realistic. In a fantasy world, she wanted to date Roman in the way that she would date any normal guy, but it was just so complicated here. It didn't feel complicated when she was with him. It felt the opposite, surprisingly. Easy, natural, comfortable, right. After they parted ways, or when anything happened to remind her of reality, like him receiving a call from Brooklyn or Nick when they were together, things would go back to feeling complicated again. Was it realistic to believe that you could date someone long term, with such a difficult history behind it? And if not, was it worth even pursuing in the short term when in the end, your heart would essentially be guaranteed to be broken? Cara didn't know the answers to those questions, but her agreeing to see Alex spoke to her uncertainty, even if she was positive that nothing would come of this. After all, Roman hadn't broken her heart yet, and Alex already had, so it wasn't like Alex was the better option in all of this.

"And I don't know how many times I have to tell you that you can just call the lady who picks up my laundry and she'll do yours too," Cara said, grimacing as she glanced at the laundry basket in Chanel's hands. "Those machines down there are probably filthy," she added, though she had admittedly never even been in the laundry room in the building's basement before. The idea of putting her clothes into a communal machine where other people's disgusting, dirty clothes had been sounded nightmare-ish in itself, but add in that it was set in a dark and dingy basement, and it was basically a horror movie plot.
​

 

[cure]

"I was going to do the same for my apology," she retorted through a labored grunt, alluding to the apology she felt she was still due for. Chanel didn't know how many times she needed to convince herself to finally take Cara up on that maid offer either. Each time she did laundry, she mentally sparred with herself as she climbed up the multitude of stairs. But the moments like these, when she was upset with Cara, she felt like she was making the right decision. "And they do have...character," she said, hauling her full hamper onto the step just above her and resting it there. "But then I'd have to be on my best behavior so you don't cut me off. Though maybe I should start applying for some benefits if you're going to keep trying to sabotage my relationships." Chanel was basically over Cara trying to act like a mob boss. She didn't care for all of the details either; she just knew Cara had someway, somehow been involved with sending the Vape Twins her way to stir trouble with she and Elijah. As far as Chanel knew or was concerned, Cara was just trying to be messy.

As she picked up her hamper once more, seeing that Cara appeared to be on her way out, she noticed the girl's get up. "Where do you think you're going showing all of those legs, ma'am? Has your entourage approved this outing?" she asked, referring to Nick and Roman since they were apparently Chanel's keepers and Chanel could only hope the favor was being extended to all the girls on the hall. "And I've never heard of him? And don't tell me it's not a boy because you would have mentioned brunch by this point." Chanel had met Cara's friends before, and while she typically didn't intrude, if it was casual enough and didn't feel too much like charity, Chanel would take her up on her offer and tag along for some activities. Not that this couldn't be different, but Chanel's reasoning wasn't far off base in her mind. ​

 

[Collapsed]

Nick wasn’t the kind of person who ever really woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Part of that was probably that he set his own schedule, and didn’t have to suffer through the dreary and tedious routine of being forced awake by a blaring alarm clock each morning. He woke up when he felt like it. Sometimes, it was before sunrise to make a last minute delivery. Oftentimes though, especially on weekends when Brooklyn was working and would get home in the early hours of the morning, he would sleep deeply into the day. It didn’t really have any downsides, at least not in his opinion. Then again, it had been a minute since he’d been able to time getting a McGriddle from McDonalds… Regardless, Nick usually slept until his mind and body were ready to be awake, and he did so comfortably and on his own terms. That was just one of the reasons for why Brooklyn was wrong right now. Disturbing a man while he was sleeping, and all for some bullshit? That was enough to put him in a bad mood straight out of sleep.

They were arguing over Brooklyn being shady as fuck, or at least that’s what Nick would tell you. How it really started was still kind of blurred by sleep to him, but he was pretty sure it went something like Brooklyn forcing him awake just to continue on with what the had been arguing about before she had left for work. She had been refusing to let Nick look at her phone, which felt warranted in his opinion, considering how she refused to admit whether Collin was actually texting her or not. Nick had half a mind to just go over to Brooklyn’s place and wait around for Collin to beat the shit out of him, but he knew better than to risk going to jail when Brooklyn could have just been lying about the whole thing, egged on by Roman, to get Nick pissed. Nick would have been willing to let it go, at least until Brooklyn brought Collin up again with that snide smirk on her face, but apparently, Brooklyn just couldn’t let it go.

”You really are such a pathetic little dumbass bitch.”

“Oh yeah? I’m the dumbass, Brooke? You’re the one throwing thousands of dollars away to get a community college liberal arts degree. I mean, really? You think a fucking piece of paper telling the world that you retook high school math and took a poetry class is going to scream ‘HIRE ME, GOOGLE’? Or do you think the people you wait tables for are gonna tip you better once you can recite Shakespeare for them, because that’s exactly where you’ll end up with that shit, just ten grand poorer than you were before you started.” So yeah, Nick was pissed. Rightfully so. Brooklyn could certainly dish it when it came to going low, so she would get to experience taking it today, too. Nick didn’t like to argue, but sometimes it felt like the only option with her.​

 

[Bandit_]

Makayla had never been much of a cook, despite having had to cook for herself for as long as she could remember. She had never enjoyed cooking growing up, but that was mostly because she didn’t enjoy being in the kitchen. In fact, she didn’t enjoy being in any of the public spaces of her childhood home. Their home wasn’t comfortable and warm, but rather a shell of a home that was constantly filled with strangers, smoke, and drug paraphernalia. Makayla was able to fly under the radar for the most part. While her father wasn’t a devoted father, he took offenses against his daughter as offenses against himself, so he didn’t let anyone mess with her, and he didn’t direct much anger at her either. She was definitely lucky in that sense, though it still wasn’t easy when he was constantly beating the shit out of Holly’s mother, or Holly, in front of her. It was safer to be away from home, which was what Makayla tried to do. She didn’t mind going to school like so many kids did, because at least in school there was some semblance of structure. She knew how to get through the day without any surprises, and she could also rest at least semi-easy knowing that Holly was somewhere safe as well. As soon as she was old enough to get an after school job she did, and when she wasn’t at school or work, she tried to stay out and about too. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do when you lived in the neighborhood that Makayla lived in, but she tried to take advantage of the city being fairly accessible by train. She would take Holly to the playgrounds in Central Park, or to walk around the streets of the Upper East Side, looking at the big townhouses and fancy stores. Sometimes, when she didn’t have the energy for any of that, she would just get on the subway with Holly and take it all the way downtown to the financial district, and then back up, just to kill time.

Needless to say, Makayla didn’t have the ability to get to know what it was like to cook for any reason outside of needing to eat to survive. It was only recently, really, that she had started to try to branch out with what she cooked. She had Ruby to thank for that mostly, not only because it was easier to cook when someone else was buying some of the ingredients, but also because she now had someone else to cook for. It was no secret that Holly was an extraordinarily picky eater, and on their budget, Makayla couldn’t justify cooking two meals every single night. She had gotten used to eating whatever chicken nuggets Holly felt looked too weird to eat herself, or the piece of toast that had accidentally been left in the toaster too long and burned. She was so used to it that it had never really bothered her much, but having a companion in life, even just in a platonic sort of sense, was proving to be beneficial in more ways than one.

“Wanna take a break and eat?” Makayla called over to Ruby and Holly. What she really wanted to say, as she looked to Ruby with an amused “having fun?” Expression was: I told you so. Ruby had the patience of a saint, but as much as Makayla hated to say it, when it came to this sort of stuff with Holly, it seemed pretty hopeless. She knew that Holly was capable of a lot more than most people thought of her, but math wasn’t one of those things that Makayla imagined she would one day be even halfway decent at. It had just never clicked with Holly, and not in the same way that reading, or history, or spelling had never clicked with her. Those areas were ones where she had made considerable progress in over the years once teachers adapted to her learning needs. Math, however, was still a challenge, and there were only so many ways to explain that five plus zero equaled five, not fifty, before giving up. Ruby was welcome to take a swing at it, but it was one more reason for why Makayla found herself making a late breakfast this morning. Even just listening to them go back and forth gave Makayla a bit of second-hand stress, so there was no way that she was going to participate too.

She hadn’t gone crazy for breakfast, though she had cooked enough to ensure that it would hit once her high set in in a few minutes. She honestly wasn’t sure if Ruby would even eat any of it out of anything other than pity, though. That wasn’t because it was bad, but because Ruby didn’t give off bacon, egg, and cheese New Yorker energy. She had insisted that she wanted one, but she definitely seemed more like an avocado toast and açaí bowl kind of person. If she didn’t like it, there was always extra bacon on skillet, and chocolate chip pancakes made at Holly’s request. It probably wouldn’t come to that though, Makayla guessed, knowing Ruby was too nice for her own good.

She had already plated a pancake, scrambled eggs, and some fruit for Holly by the time she invited the girls over to eat, and she quickly fixed a plate for herself and Ruby too, before setting them on the table. She had purposely cooked enough for Chanel too, but she was overly conscious about boundaries when it came to Chanel. It didn’t show in any obnoxious kind of way, where it was glaringly obvious that she was anxious about it, but it was something that she was consistent with. Chanel was young and cool and so sweet, and Makayla often felt like they were infringing on her vibe just by being in the apartment. She didn’t ever want Chanel to feel guilted into hanging out, and Holly’s incessant requests for Chanel’s attention meant that Makayla had to overcompensate by being much more laid back. She had mentioned to Chanel earlier that she was welcome to eat with them, but wouldn’t push it if she was busy when she got back up.

“Have you ever even had a bacon, egg, and cheese before?” she asked Ruby with a curious smile, before clarifying, “One from a bodega, not the kind you get at Starbucks.” ​

 

[BurningBridges]

He was wrong for that, he really was. It might have seemed like a petty surface level insult on the outside, but Brooklyn was more offended by him insulting her in that way than she would have by the usual insults of her being a bitch, or selfish, or any of that. On one hand, who the fuck did this man think he was? Nick of all people had the nerve to insult her for trying to improve herself? Of all the people on the planet who could possibly speak on their place in life over her, he had the audacity? If it proved anything, it was that whoever said that if men have anything, it's the audacity, was right, because Nick sure as hell had that right now. If Brooklyn was even half as stupid as he was, that would be all he would be ending this fight with, too.

She wanted nothing more to punch his teeth out right now, but somehow she managed to restrain herself. She wasn’t scared to do it, she had gotten physical with him many times before. Hell, she hadn’t even thought twice about slapping him to wake him up. It wasn’t healthy, especially how she felt like it was different when he did it to her, even when she started it, and Brooklyn knew that. Still, in the moment, it sometimes felt like the only way to express just how angry she was with him. She didn’t always want to fight, but sometimes she wanted a reaction, a response, something to show her that Nick cared at all, one way or the other, and this was the only way to get that out of him. She only didn’t move to hit him because she didn’t know what she wanted right now. Not after that fucked up comment from the biggest loser on the goddamn planet.

“All you need to say is that you’re threatened by Collin Fortester because you know you’re going to account to nothing in life. You’ll always be beneath even someone as pathetic as him, and that says something. You’re a loser, a complete fucking loser,” she shot at him, before turning for the door. Nick was lucky that she headed for Roman’s room instead of the kitchen, because maybe this time he wouldn’t have been lucky enough to leave an argument without a kitchen knife wound. “Roman, beat the shit out of your roommate, for me,” she demanded, flipping the lights on as she stormed in. She expected him to be in bed, but respecting boundaries obviously wasn’t one of her main concerns right now, and if Roman wanted to be a punk ass bitch too, then he would be catching her at the very wrong time for that.​

 

[Collapsed]

“You always do this shit, you know that? You talk a lot of shit, and then run away because you know the only way you’re leaving an argument without looking like a complete fucking idiot is if you get the last word in and refuse to hear what I have to say,” Nick snapped. “And I know Roman would agree with me that that’s basically the only reason for why you’ve been able to keep this hard little persona you cling to like a fucking security blanket. You’re all fucking talk, Brooke. All fucking talk.” He had followed Brooklyn into Roman’s room by that point, standing in the doorway, though just as comfortable as Brooklyn was in acting like this was a public area of the apartment and not the bedroom of his rudely-awoken roommate.

By now, Nick obviously knew how Brooklyn worked. He could have been the bigger person in all of this, and just told her to fuck off and leave, and deal with making it right later. He could only take so much though, and beyond that, Nick wasn’t a saint either. He had flaws, with one being that it was very hard for him to manage his temper when something set him off. In his defense, it took the perfect storm to get him angry, but if someone managed to catch him in the right mood, he usually ended up digging his own grave somehow. Knocking out Collin a few months back was a good example of that, as were the arguments he sometimes had with Brooklyn that would turn physical somehow. He knew he couldn’t blame her for that, at least not in full. He didn’t want to be that person, or even the person he was being right now, but he also didn’t take well to his ego and pride constantly being attacked by her.

Why they didn’t just break up for good was a fair question, but Nick did love her. Maybe in a way that was toxic and unhealthy, and maybe they both would’ve been happier with other people, but she was all he had, really. Roman too, but it wasn’t like Roman provided him the same level of comfort and love that Brooklyn did on their good days. And to be fair, the good days outnumbered the bad. The little squabbles that he and Brooke had on a daily basis were nearly a part of their love language at this point, so he didn’t mind that bickering. It was this that was bad, though. Nick had never really been in a serious relationship with anyone other than Brooklyn though, so he was typically okay with convincing himself that this was just how relationships were. Things would get rocky, but if you were really meant to be with a person, you’d figure out a way to move past it.

Most of the time, the day following their worst fights would somehow be the complete opposite. They’d have amazing makeup sex, she’d cook him a nice breakfast, and he’d pay for whatever retail therapy she felt was necessary the next day, after getting high as fuck himself. It worked for them, but right now, or any time in the moment when the argument was happening really, the idea of that being the fix was laughable. She could burn in hell for all he fucking cared. Not really, but still, the love just felt… gone. “You want to be with Collin? Go for it, Brooke. No one’s stopping you. Just don’t come running back here once you realize his limp dick shit isn’t it,” he added angrily. “Maybe you’re on to something, though. Something tells me I’d be much happier with Cara, too, so why don’t we both go back to the Forresters? I’ve been due for an upgrade for a while now, anyway!”​