Bad boy x Good girl (Closed!)

[SecretsInTime]

"OW! Shit!" I say as my arm comes in contact with the ground. I look up through foggy eyes up at Clarissa - I suddenly remember why I'm here. I reach up with my good arm and run my eyes and get my hair out of my face - she looks much better this morning.


Now the alarm penetrates the block I created to keep out unwanted sound. Clarissa explains why she... Pushed me off the bed?! I roll my eyes at her suppressed laughter. "Good morning to you too..." I grumble, attempting to hide a smile at her laughter. "You're lucky I'm used to bruises - this is my fretting arm." I smirk. (Fretting - the arm I use to press the strings on the guitar, not the strumming arm)

 

[Asteria]

"OW! Shit!" I say as my arm comes in contact with the ground. I look up through foggy eyes up at Clarissa - I suddenly remember why I'm here. I reach up with my good arm and run my eyes and get my hair out of my face - she looks much better this morning.
Now the alarm penetrates the block I created to keep out unwanted sound. Clarissa explains why she... Pushed me off the bed?! I roll my eyes at her suppressed laughter. "Good morning to you too..." I grumble, attempting to hide a smile at her laughter. "You're lucky I'm used to bruises - this is my fretting arm." I smirk. (Fretting - the arm I use to press the strings on the guitar, not the strumming arm)

''Well excuse me because you don't wake up when the alarm rings, like a normal person would. And you're lucky I didn't damage that arm when it was laying on my back.'' I say as I roll my eyes and get out of the bed. My knee feels better and I can finally move my leg, even though I should change the bandage. '


''Now if you could jump back in your room before my dad comes home and finds you with no t-shirt on, in my room.'' I say as I move my torso above his head as he remains on the floor so I could turn off the alarm and check the phone, no message or phone calls. That's good. I tried to act like nothing happened the other night, no crying, no sleeping next to him, no remembering my mom. I should just keep my distance from him for a while, be just a nice neighbor and school mate and that's it.


''Could you get up, or you need help?" I say as I place my hand in front of him, in case he needs some help.

 

[SecretsInTime]

What I thought was playful banter turns into normal stranger conversation. She checks her phone while I stare at her, bewildered, and then she asks if I need help.


"I'm just fine, actually." I accentuate each word, getting up easily. I grab my soiled t-shirt, looking at the blood on it for a moment. I know she's watching me do it - I want her to see. I look from the t-shirt to her with an unreadable look, and then wordlessly swing out the window into mine.


I get into my room and turn off my alarm that was going off - I did set it last night. I frustratedly throw my shirt in the trash - won't be needing that anymore. After I clean myself up, I grab one of my many shirts with the band logo on it and put my leather jacket on over it. I grab some different jeans and get my boots again. I don my various accessories and shake out my hair - it's good enough. Right now I can't really care.


I storm out the door, my mother watching without saying anything. She can tell that the cloud I have around my head is different in some way - she won't "poke the bear", as she says sometimes, this morning.


My motorcycle is in the shed - I drag it out to the driveway and shoot out of it to school.

 

[Asteria]

What I thought was playful banter turns into normal stranger conversation. She checks her phone while I stare at her, bewildered, and then she asks if I need help.
"I'm just fine, actually." I accentuate each word, getting up easily. I grab my soiled t-shirt, looking at the blood on it for a moment. I know she's watching me do it - I want her to see. I look from the t-shirt to her with an unreadable look, and then wordlessly swing out the window into mine.


I get into my room and turn off my alarm that was going off - I did set it last night. I frustratedly throw my shirt in the trash - won't be needing that anymore. After I clean myself up, I grab one of my many shirts with the band logo on it and put my leather jacket on over it. I grab some different jeans and get my boots again. I don my various accessories and shake out my hair - it's good enough. Right now I can't really care.


I storm out the door, my mother watching without saying anything. She can tell that the cloud I have around my head is different in some way - she won't "poke the bear", as she says sometimes, this morning.


My motorcycle is in the shed - I drag it out to the driveway and shoot out of it to school.

''That is bad.'' - I though to myself when I noticed how he looked at me when he picked up that shirt and he stormed off. I sit on my bed as I start to bite my finger, a bad habit I had when I knew I did something wrong, and this time I did a big wrong thing. He helped me at 4am and then he even remained with me in the night and I just acted like I just needed comfort when I felt bad, and now that I am finally good, nothing matters. "That was what you wanted Clarissa, stop making such a deal out of it.'' I say as I finally get up and prepare myself for school, I pick out a long shirt, some black jeans and my ankle black leather boots and I take out my jacket as I let my hair down.


I had to take the bus again and that made me go sick, and every got badder when someone just hit my knee and that made it even more painful. When I finally got inside the school everyone was storming around and mostly talked about the concert that will be tonight and that made me think about Decklan again. Another bad thing - I had to face him when I will get inside the Art room, as Allison told me they will mostly practice all day when they have a concert. I stared at the door for a little and then I took a deep breath and opened the door and got inside. I get back into my corner that I used yesterday to draw and place down my bag and my notebook. When I look at Decklan I just make a faint smile and wave my hand a little bit. ''Of course that will help, Clarissa.'' I mutter to myself.

 

[SecretsInTime]

Getting to school, there was a large crowd around us, like there normally is on a concert day. I make my way through the crowd, bumping here and there to get to the middle with my crowd. When we reunite, they notice the mood I've got today. We make our way and walk in front of the people so we can talk. "Decky-boy, what's the matter?" James creeps up to me, calling me that god-awful nickname.


"You know I hate that nickname," I say in monotone, looking ahead.


"Oh come on, we've got a concert tonight. Lighten up bro!" Aaron claps me on the back, and I flinch but don't change.


Kurt says the thing that he knows will get me into a better attitude. "Or are you not feeling up to it tonight, Decklan? We'll have to find a sub on short notice, but it's possible if you're too -"


"I'll be ready for tonight, don't worry." I pronounce, up to the silent challenge he set before me.


"Alright, let's go make the setlist then!" Ryan says, relieved that we can get to work now.


We arrive in the art room and set up the little fold-up table and chairs we had in the corner. We always take a couple classes off the day of our concerts - we get the homework from the teachers the next day. We also always make the setlist before practicing - afterwards we practice the hardest songs on the list, newer ones or ones we didn't do great on last time. We break for lunch - for which we stay in the Music Room - and then run through the set one or two times before resting and going to our last two classes; for me that's Shop and Physics. I won't be seeing Clary - Clarissa - in Biology today.


Speaking of, she walks in as we're assembling the furniture. She sets up in the art corner and looks at me, almost shyly, with a small smile and wave. "So now she wants to pleasantly greet me. Great." I think bitterly in my head. I look to her blankly for a beat too long, and then look away, back to making the setlist.


We sit around the table, the complete list of all the songs we've created in the middle. We begin to assemble it, agreeing on the pros of starting with the one we want to make really popular and putting the most popular second to last. We continue to argue, though, about what to put last - the newer single, or the newest and most challenging song. This one has me doing more intense guitar back up than normal while still following the lyrics, a hard solo for Kurt, more cymbals for James, more shifting for Ryan, and more combos for Aaron. It's the type of song we would make more of to be in the bigger leagues.

 

[Asteria]

Getting to school, there was a large crowd around us, like there normally is on a concert day. I make my way through the crowd, bumping here and there to get to the middle with my crowd. When we reunite, they notice the mood I've got today. We make our way and walk in front of the people so we can talk. "Decky-boy, what's the matter?" James creeps up to me, calling me that god-awful nickname.
"You know I hate that nickname," I say in monotone, looking ahead.


"Oh come on, we've got a concert tonight. Lighten up bro!" Aaron claps me on the back, and I flinch but don't change.


Kurt says the thing that he knows will get me into a better attitude. "Or are you not feeling up to it tonight, Decklan? We'll have to find a sub on short notice, but it's possible if you're too -"


"I'll be ready for tonight, don't worry." I pronounce, up to the silent challenge he set before me.


"Alright, let's go make the setlist then!" Ryan says, relieved that we can get to work now.


We arrive in the art room and set up the little fold-up table and chairs we had in the corner. We always take a couple classes off the day of our concerts - we get the homework from the teachers the next day. We also always make the setlist before practicing - afterwards we practice the hardest songs on the list, newer ones or ones we didn't do great on last time. We break for lunch - for which we stay in the Music Room - and then run through the set one or two times before resting and going to our last two classes; for me that's Shop and Physics. I won't be seeing Clary - Clarissa - in Biology today.


Speaking of, she walks in as we're assembling the furniture. She sets up in the art corner and looks at me, almost shyly, with a small smile and wave. "So now she wants to pleasantly greet me. Great." I think bitterly in my head. I look to her blankly for a beat too long, and then look away, back to making the setlist.


We sit around the table, the complete list of all the songs we've created in the middle. We begin to assemble it, agreeing on the pros of starting with the one we want to make really popular and putting the most popular second to last. We continue to argue, though, about what to put last - the newer single, or the newest and most challenging song. This one has me doing more intense guitar back up than normal while still following the lyrics, a hard solo for Kurt, more cymbals for James, more shifting for Ryan, and more combos for Aaron. It's the type of song we would make more of to be in the bigger leagues.

He ignored me, actually he tried his best to look at me like I was the last human on Earth and it could be better if I ended in a ocean, drowning. The guys looked a little bit at me and then at him, but they continued to talk about the songs. I dropped my smile in the corner of my mind and I dropped my hand too as I continued to draw some figurines. Sometimes I found myself just playing with my bandage again, as I stared at Decklan but then I returned back to what I was doing. The bell rang and I sighed relieved as I just got my bag, jacket and notebook fast and exited the room, without even looking at him or at least throwing him a smile. Why do I feel bad? I always ignored guys and I always didn't care about them, but right now I felt that my heart was breaking. I moved fast to my classes and tried my best to seem like I didn't care about anything but Allison didn't let me keep the: ''Fuck off world.'' sign on my forehead as she started to speak with me.


''You have to come with me to the concert. You just have to, I'll drive you there, just show up.'' She asked me as her eyes looked like they were made of glitter, and of course that was because James. Allison finally told her she had a small crush on James and she just wanted to be there for him. ''They will have pizza, drinks, THE PLACE IS NEXT TO A FUCKING BEACH. We could go swimming and alcohol, and James. Please, I work there too and like, it will be great.''


''Fine...'' I mutter as I smile at her. Maybe deep inside me I wanted to be there to show Decklan that I actually support him too and that I was sorry for this morning. And when it came the talk about the job, I forgot that I actually wanted to search for a job too.

I skipped lunch and got into the Art room again and I was surprised to notice that Decklan was alone as he kept staring at a piece of paper. I stopped in the door and looked at him for a moment, because I was sure they never practice in time of lunch and I asked myself where were the others and I looked at the clock. ''Maybe they left to get food.'' I mutter to myself as I close the door and placed my hands back in the pockets as I moved to my corner.

 

[SecretsInTime]

Though Ryan and I were advocates for the newest song, we eventually agreed that we wouldn't do the challenging song this time - there was no reason to risk it if it wasn't a huge concert. We would save it for another day. I could feel Clarissa's stare at me sometimes, and I knew Kurt noticed too. I could practically feel the hurt that I caused her - but why would she hurt if she was just trying to get rid of me? I shook it off.


So we ran through some set songs a couple times, and even ran through that newest one we weren't going to do - couldn't hurt to practice it, right? Eventually we got through much of the practice and it was time for lunch. The guys went to go get their food - I never really ate much on the days of concerts. Odd for a person of my size, everyone says, I know, it just doesn't happen. Can't explain it.


I sat staring at the lyrics for the newest song in the room, hearing it in my mind through the silence. It was a more emotional, painful song than some others - that's why I liked it. Then in the middle of Kurt's solo in my head, Clarissa came in. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. But I didn't look at her. She was the one that initiated the separation, I told myself, though I wanted so much to just glance. If she wants to talk, she'll talk to me. If not, so be it.

 

[Asteria]

Though Ryan and I were advocates for the newest song, we eventually agreed that we wouldn't do the challenging song this time - there was no reason to risk it if it wasn't a huge concert. We would save it for another day. I could feel Clarissa's stare at me sometimes, and I knew Kurt noticed too. I could practically feel the hurt that I caused her - but why would she hurt if she was just trying to get rid of me? I shook it off.
So we ran through some set songs a couple times, and even ran through that newest one we weren't going to do - couldn't hurt to practice it, right? Eventually we got through much of the practice and it was time for lunch. The guys went to go get their food - I never really ate much on the days of concerts. Odd for a person of my size, everyone says, I know, it just doesn't happen. Can't explain it.


I sat staring at the lyrics for the newest song in the room, hearing it in my mind through the silence. It was a more emotional, painful song than some others - that's why I liked it. Then in the middle of Kurt's solo in my head, Clarissa came in. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. But I didn't look at her. She was the one that initiated the separation, I told myself, though I wanted so much to just glance. If she wants to talk, she'll talk to me. If not, so be it.

''No you won't talk to him. You'll wait like a nice puppy until the concert.'' I muttered to myself as I kept glancing at him, time to time. Why he felt so important and why I wanted to just say sorry and get with it. I was mean, but I just wanted to protect myself from my emotions that started to build up inside me and he saw the weak part of me last night and that just never happened with anyone else.


''Look, I'm sorry, I just-'' I started to talk from that corner only to get his attention. I wanted to tell him I'm sorry and I wanted to tell him why I acted like that, but just in that moment, the guys opened the door and got inside the room with some food for Decklan too as they were laughing and smiling. I just picked up my bag again and exited the room, not before I looked at Decklan one more time as I exited the room and made my way outside the high school, it seemed they canceled some classes only for everyone to get ready for the concert. It seemed that they really cared about their rock starts.


The time on the bus felt like hours, I even snapped at a woman because she hit me. I was mad that I didn't have the time to tell Decklan what I wanted to tell him, but I knew I will tell him tonight, if the right moment came. I just made my way inside my room and placed myself on the bed as I placed a pillow over my head.

 

[SecretsInTime]

The silence seemed like hours but must have been only minutes. The tension between us started to get heavy, and I was seriously considering breaking it and just asking her what was up. Then suddenly she started to apologize. I looked up over to her corner, surprised - but then the guys came into the room, laughing and talking amongst themselves about how there was a big gap in the cafeteria since we weren't at our table. Apparently everyone missed us. Then Clarissa simply walked out, and that was that.


We ran through the set and then dispersed happily, going off to do our good luck routines. These were the ones that no one knew about. Aaron, for example, drinks a homemade cucumber, lime and kale juice - he called it "Green Machine" and said it helped his fingers be lightning fast. I tried it once. I nearly puked. But he likes it, so...


James breaks a pair of even-length sticks he found outside so he wouldn't break his drumsticks during the concert. Kurt listens to his inspiration bands - from Dragonforce to Aerosmith to Guns and Roses to all sorts of things. Ryan solves a Rubix Cube - yeah, he's the weird one - and me, well, I draw.


I draw anything that comes to mind. Usually it involves the band, but sometimes it's other things. This is why no one knows about my good luck rituals - because I refuse to let anyone know I draw or see any of them. Today I decide to draw the sunset on the beach by the performance place tonight. When I start to draw two people together on said beach, however, I let it be finished and shade and color it in.


By this time, it's time for the concert. The manager drives the van around and picks us all up with our equipment - first Ryan, who's the farthest out; then Kurt, me, Aaron and then James. We arrive at the scene pretty early, but there's still a small crowd of fans. We pull around back of Tourigia's and start to load supplies in, as normal. They have a stage in the center of the back we perform on. But today, before we get very far, the owner stops us.


"Oh no, boys, you're playing outside today. We set up a stage for you, see?" The owner of the restaurant said happily, pointing out to the beach stage.


"And why is that?" I ask, getting an odd feeling.


"You didn't find out yet? It's in all the gossip. There's a reporter from Hollywood and a recording studio recruit coming to see you. We thought we'd give you the best surroundings possible."


The five of us look at each other in fear. This was not part of the plan. Our manager and the owner try to reassure us, but we just wordlessly start to go out to the beach with our supplies. When it's loaded up, we huddle in the backstage area for a big talk.

 

[Asteria]

The silence seemed like hours but must have been only minutes. The tension between us started to get heavy, and I was seriously considering breaking it and just asking her what was up. Then suddenly she started to apologize. I looked up over to her corner, surprised - but then the guys came into the room, laughing and talking amongst themselves about how there was a big gap in the cafeteria since we weren't at our table. Apparently everyone missed us. Then Clarissa simply walked out, and that was that.
We ran through the set and then dispersed happily, going off to do our good luck routines. These were the ones that no one knew about. Aaron, for example, drinks a homemade cucumber, lime and kale juice - he called it "Green Machine" and said it helped his fingers be lightning fast. I tried it once. I nearly puked. But he likes it, so...


James breaks a pair of even-length sticks he found outside so he wouldn't break his drumsticks during the concert. Kurt listens to his inspiration bands - from Dragonforce to Aerosmith to Guns and Roses to all sorts of things. Ryan solves a Rubix Cube - yeah, he's the weird one - and me, well, I draw.


I draw anything that comes to mind. Usually it involves the band, but sometimes it's other things. This is why no one knows about my good luck rituals - because I refuse to let anyone know I draw or see any of them. Today I decide to draw the sunset on the beach by the performance place tonight. When I start to draw two people together on said beach, however, I let it be finished and shade and color it in.


By this time, it's time for the concert. The manager drives the van around and picks us all up with our equipment - first Ryan, who's the farthest out; then Kurt, me, Aaron and then James. We arrive at the scene pretty early, but there's still a small crowd of fans. We pull around back of Tourigia's and start to load supplies in, as normal. They have a stage in the center of the back we perform on. But today, before we get very far, the owner stops us.


"Oh no, boys, you're playing outside today. We set up a stage for you, see?" The owner of the restaurant said happily, pointing out to the beach stage.


"And why is that?" I ask, getting an odd feeling.


"You didn't find out yet? It's in all the gossip. There's a reporter from Hollywood and a recording studio recruit coming to see you. We thought we'd give you the best surroundings possible."


The five of us look at each other in fear. This was not part of the plan. Our manager and the owner try to reassure us, but we just wordlessly start to go out to the beach with our supplies. When it's loaded up, we huddle in the backstage area for a big talk.

I just prepared myself and I didn't try my best, I just picked a t-shirt, a skater skirt, my leather jacket and my converse. Like promised, Allison came in front of my house and picked me up. I didn't tell my father where I was going mostly because he would lock me in my room forever and never let me out.


Allison drove to a beach and there was the pizzeria she was talking about, but the scene was outside, on the beach. ''A beach concert.'' I mutter to myself, as I kid I was always to attend to one of those, mostly because I saw them all around the TV, the sun was almost ready to set and it all looked good and perfect.


''I told you this will be fun!'' She says as she starts to pull my hand and make me run through the sun until we get to the front of the stage, I take a deep breath as their manager announces that the concert will start soon.


They make their way on the scene and everyone starts clapping and then I notice how many people where on the beach and how many of them were so excited to be there for them. I was uncomfortable, I couldn't lie, I was in the front row and of course I could easily be spotted by Decklan and that made my heart beat way too fast than normal.


''Come on Clarissa!'' Allison shouts at me as she starts to pull my hands up and move them around, and I couldn't help to laugh, it felt good to be so happy after such a long time, I felt whole when I looked at Decklan preparing to sing in front of so many people.

 

[SecretsInTime]

"Alright, guys, we all know this is the biggest show we have done." I say hesitantly in our meeting.


"And quite possibly the last big one," Aaron says, looking a bit sick like his green juice was coming back up.


"Oh come on, Aaron, we need you to be strong, like we needed Decklan to be happy this morning, remember?" Kurt says. I could see he was nervous but was hiding it. "We can do this guys. I know we can. Really! Think about all that will open up for us -"


"We need to do the newest song." Ryan declared. There was a brief silence, with all of us looking at each other. We nodded our agreement after a few seconds.


This might go badly...


We grab our individual instruments and position ourselves behind the concert. I can hear Aaron nervously tapping on his seat behind me and Kurt muttering to himself. James was twirling his stick nonstop. Ryan and I just looked at each other, wide eyed as our manager announced us. "Now what you've all been waiting for... Fifth Rebellion!!"





The crowd was very loud - louder than it had been before. Many more people must have showed up. The curtains open and I am faced with a huge crowd... suddenly my throat goes dry. I swallow quickly, trying to be able to sing in a few seconds. I hear James ticking off the beat almost in slow motion behind me when I see Clarissa in the front row, seemingly with a friend who was cheering us on. We make brief eye contact before we burst into song.


And then the concert officially began.


All the songs were going well, everything was going according to plan. I threw in a couple extra spins here and there, on one of the middle songs I slid the guitar behind my back, the strap still around me, and leaned the mic closer to the crowd on the left. Kurt even played part of the most popular song behind his head. I was totally into it - I think everyone else was too - and all the nervousness melted away... until the last song. That was when reality hit us. This was what would make or break us.


I ran up the the mic, flipping some of my hair out of my face. "Alright, everyone, this'll be a new song you haven't heard yet." I shout to the crowd. I tell everyone its title, feeling the nervousness close in on me. James clicked off the beat.


We put everything we had into it. It really was a blast - everyone was super loud out in the audience. In the end, when we closed out the show, we thought we did well - but did we do famous-reporting-and-record-deal well? That was the question. We did forfeit some of the last song's choreography for accuracy...


I could hear the audience funneling out. The manager came up to us and said he would be watching for any offers or magazine appearances, but we'd have to wait and see. Now it was afterparty time on the beach. "Put on your best brave, happy faces, guys," the manager said. "It's time to be sociable."


We arrived at the small party and they started to serve out the drinks. They were playing one of our albums. I needed to loosen up - maybe I could find a couple shots somewhere.

 

[Asteria]

"Alright, guys, we all know this is the biggest show we have done." I say hesitantly in our meeting.
"And quite possibly the last big one," Aaron says, looking a bit sick like his green juice was coming back up.


"Oh come on, Aaron, we need you to be strong, like we needed Decklan to be happy this morning, remember?" Kurt says. I could see he was nervous but was hiding it. "We can do this guys. I know we can. Really! Think about all that will open up for us -"


"We need to do the newest song." Ryan declared. There was a brief silence, with all of us looking at each other. We nodded our agreement after a few seconds.


This might go badly...


We grab our individual instruments and position ourselves behind the concert. I can hear Aaron nervously tapping on his seat behind me and Kurt muttering to himself. James was twirling his stick nonstop. Ryan and I just looked at each other, wide eyed as our manager announced us. "Now what you've all been waiting for... Fifth Rebellion!!"





The crowd was very loud - louder than it had been before. Many more people must have showed up. The curtains open and I am faced with a huge crowd... suddenly my throat goes dry. I swallow quickly, trying to be able to sing in a few seconds. I hear James ticking off the beat almost in slow motion behind me when I see Clarissa in the front row, seemingly with a friend who was cheering us on. We make brief eye contact before we burst into song.


And then the concert officially began.


All the songs were going well, everything was going according to plan. I threw in a couple extra spins here and there, on one of the middle songs I slid the guitar behind my back, the strap still around me, and leaned the mic closer to the crowd on the left. Kurt even played part of the most popular song behind his head. I was totally into it - I think everyone else was too - and all the nervousness melted away... until the last song. That was when reality hit us. This was what would make or break us.


I ran up the the mic, flipping some of my hair out of my face. "Alright, everyone, this'll be a new song you haven't heard yet." I shout to the crowd. I tell everyone its title, feeling the nervousness close in on me. James clicked off the beat.


We put everything we had into it. It really was a blast - everyone was super loud out in the audience. In the end, when we closed out the show, we thought we did well - but did we do famous-reporting-and-record-deal well? That was the question. We did forfeit some of the last song's choreography for accuracy...


I could hear the audience funneling out. The manager came up to us and said he would be watching for any offers or magazine appearances, but we'd have to wait and see. Now it was afterparty time on the beach. "Put on your best brave, happy faces, guys," the manager said. "It's time to be sociable."


We arrived at the small party and they started to serve out the drinks. They were playing one of our albums. I needed to loosen up - maybe I could find a couple shots somewhere.

Allison was right, this was actually fun, this was actually full of life and I felt better than ever. She kept dancing and screaming, it seems she really knew how to act at times like this one, she was really into it and she seemed like she was proud of James, even if I didn't knew what was actually between them. They did their best on the stage and seemed that every single human from there loved them, as they were screaming and singing with the band. They even sang a new song, and I was sure I heard that they won't play this one when they were rehearsing in the Art room, but it was a good one even though it seemed it had a special meaning.


The concert was finally over and the guys went with a man, mostly their manager it seems, as Allison dragged me inside the small place. It was a nice pizzeria though, it won't be bad to work here.


''I told you this will be fun!'' Allison had to scream so I could hear her over the music and over all the noise people made. She kept dragging me until a small bar where she handed me a shot. ''Like, you have to try them, we're known for our shots.'' Said Allison as she made sweet eyes to me, she seemed like the party got way too much inside her head. I took the shot and 2 more as Allison told me I can't taste the party unless I am a little bit drunk. The problem was that I never got along with the alcohol and it always made me dizzy. Allison just vanished and left me alone as I was sitting on a chair, I wasn't such a nice girl, but parties never got along with me. ''Of course she was searching for James.'' I mutter to myself as I roll my eyes. Decklan was nowhere to be found it seem.

''You have to cancel your plan to say sorry it seems.'' I think to myself as I exit the the party and make my way on the beach, as I place my hands in my pockets. It was quiet and calm, and the sunset was ready to let the night come. I throw my converse and my jacket in the sand and I start to run like a little child with my feet in the water and every time a wave would come back, I just ran back on the beach.


That brought me memories from when I was a small child and I would run into the water and my mother would just freak out and shout at my father to pick me up. I would always just shout: ''Let the water take me!'', that memory made me smile and I continued to just stay in the water, even if it was a little bit cold.

 

[SecretsInTime]

I located the shots, finally: I slam two down my throat and look for the others to make sure they had some too. The warm Amber liquid is comforting as always to all of us. We can't have any panic attacks tonight, or freaking out publicly. That wouldn't be good for image.


I find a couple of the guys and check in with them. It's good reassurance that they had at least a few. I find James, though, without any in his system - seems he was cornered by a fan. The one standing next to Clarissa earlier... Odd.


"You have to drink this, before you collapse before all of us," I say to James, shoving a double at his face.


He rolls his eyes. "You only got me a double? Wow, Decklan, I thought you knew me better." James slams it down and I continue back to the bar to look to "socialize."


Along the way, I think 2 more shots were offered to me by various fans - can't turn one down! When I was offered another double though, I considered doing just that - when I saw a familiar flash of dark curly red hair, coming my way. My eyes widen and I grab whatever was in front of me - the double - and chug it down. I'll be needing it.


Talia comes up to me with the smirk that can make any guy's heart repair itself or shatter. For mine, it was the last one. She's middle height, with long legs, skinny and exactly as I remember her.


"You haven't changed a bit, Decklan." She says, rolling my name off her tongue like it belongs to her.


"Neither have you..." I say, growling, wanting her to go away immediately.


"Look, we need to talk. Do you think we could go...?" She dragged my arm to a private room on the side. The idea of being alone with her revolts everything I have, but I let her drag me. Once we get inside, she backs up to talking distance.


She starts right in. "I've been thinking about you lately, Decklan," she says, looking around flirtatiously. "I've missed you. It's been so long -"


"Stop." I say darkly. "You don't miss me. I know you don't. You stayed with me because you thought my band would be huge. You gave up. Now that it could be, have you decided to grovel at my feet?"


"Oh, Decklan, don't be so dark." She says, getting a little closer. "I didn't mean anything I said. I was just sad -"


"You didn't mean to say I was worthless, you didn't mean that you hated me, you didn't mean everything was fake and -"


She cuts me off with a swift kiss. It's aggressive, and over within a second. I push her off and watch her almost fall back on her stilettos.


"I don't want to ever hear from you again. Don't touch me, don't touch any of the guys, don't come near my manager, don't go see my mother. nothing." I threaten. "You hear me?"


"But Decklan... " she says, pouting as I bust my way out of the door. I need air. I need a lot of it before I explode in front of everyone.


I crash through the back door to the beach - luckily no one from the party follows me. I fall into the sand on my knees, holding my head. The alcohol swirls in my system and Talia breaks through my conscience, everything painful back to me at once. I breathe heavily.

 

[Asteria]

I located the shots, finally: I slam two down my throat and look for the others to make sure they had some too. The warm Amber liquid is comforting as always to all of us. We can't have any panic attacks tonight, or freaking out publicly. That wouldn't be good for image.
I find a couple of the guys and check in with them. It's good reassurance that they had at least a few. I find James, though, without any in his system - seems he was cornered by a fan. The one standing next to Clarissa earlier... Odd.


"You have to drink this, before you collapse before all of us," I say to James, shoving a double at his face.


He rolls his eyes. "You only got me a double? Wow, Decklan, I thought you knew me better." James slams it down and I continue back to the bar to look to "socialize."


Along the way, I think 2 more shots were offered to me by various fans - can't turn one down! When I was offered another double though, I considered doing just that - when I saw a familiar flash of dark curly red hair, coming my way. My eyes widen and I grab whatever was in front of me - the double - and chug it down. I'll be needing it.


Talia comes up to me with the smirk that can make any guy's heart repair itself or shatter. For mine, it was the last one. She's middle height, with long legs, skinny and exactly as I remember her.


"You haven't changed a bit, Decklan." She says, rolling my name off her tongue like it belongs to her.


"Neither have you..." I say, growling, wanting her to go away immediately.


"Look, we need to talk. Do you think we could go...?" She dragged my arm to a private room on the side. The idea of being alone with her revolts everything I have, but I let her drag me. Once we get inside, she backs up to talking distance.


She starts right in. "I've been thinking about you lately, Decklan," she says, looking around flirtatiously. "I've missed you. It's been so long -"


"Stop." I say darkly. "You don't miss me. I know you don't. You stayed with me because you thought my band would be huge. You gave up. Now that it could be, have you decided to grovel at my feet?"


"Oh, Decklan, don't be so dark." She says, getting a little closer. "I didn't mean anything I said. I was just sad -"


"You didn't mean to say I was worthless, you didn't mean that you hated me, you didn't mean everything was fake and -"


She cuts me off with a swift kiss. It's aggressive, and over within a second. I push her off and watch her almost fall back on her stilettos.


"I don't want to ever hear from you again. Don't touch me, don't touch any of the guys, don't come near my manager, don't go see my mother. nothing." I threaten. "You hear me?"


"But Decklan... " she says, pouting as I bust my way out of the door. I need air. I need a lot of it before I explode in front of everyone.


I crash through the back door to the beach - luckily no one from the party follows me. I fall into the sand on my knees, holding my head. The alcohol swirls in my system and Talia breaks through my conscience, everything painful back to me at once. I breathe heavily.

''Come and take me!'' I shout at the waves again, as I smile even if I have some tears on my face. I continued to do that since I came here and I got already tired from all that running, but it calmed as it was already dark and the cold water moved around my ankles. It was like you make the waves think you want them to kill you, but you don't let them. I was drunk, way too drunk even if I had only 3 shots as I though to myself how pathetic I was. I stop doing that when I hear a loud bang coming from the pizzeria, as I pick up my converse and my jacket.


I notice a dark figure that just stands on the sand, not too far from the building.


''You're ok there?'' I kind of shout as I try to do a little sprint till that place, maybe it was someone that took too many drinks or too many pills. Or maybe someone just felt bad. I finally get next to the person and look more closely to him. ''Decklan?..'' I let out a little sigh as I notice that it was actually Decklan, as he didn't even look up at her, keeping his head in his hands.


''Decklan? Hey..'' I say as I kneel in front of him, placing my jacket and my converse next to him, as I try to take his head from his hands. ''Come on, Decklan, talk to me. I am not good at comforting people, you need a hug? More drinks? Another hug? Blanket? Kisses?'' I say as I start to talk a little bit fast, that always happens when I just get drunk and I don't know what do.

 

[SecretsInTime]

In my rage I snap my head up to her, my eyes fiery and I start to say something I'd regret.


"Just -" I stop myself. The rage on my hmface just turns to make me look crestfallen. "I don't know Clarissa. I don't know." I lower my head back down, my head between my hands and knees. My breathing is slowing but my heart is stil beating, the alcohol still swirling and rage remains. I'm shaking slightly.

 

[Asteria]

In my rage I snap my head up to her, my eyes fiery and I start to say something I'd regret.
"Just -" I stop myself. The rage on my hmface just turns to make me look crestfallen. "I don't know Clarissa. I don't know." I lower my head back down, my head between my hands and knees. My breathing is slowing but my heart is stil beating, the alcohol still swirling and rage remains. I'm shaking slightly.

''Ok then, no hug and kisses.'' She said as I placed myself next to him, the alcohol hit me pretty well and she knew that. I placed my hand on his back and start to pat him slowly, drawing small circles.


''Look, Decklan I was stupid, I know that, I mean, you helped me and everything. I just felt bad that night and the next morning I just got it all on you. If there is something going on, just tell.'' I said with a low, drunk voice as I got closer to him nd kept patting him.

 

[SecretsInTime]

I shake my head, realizing she's completely drunk. I keep my head in my hands but talk loud enough for her to hear. "This isn't about you, Clarissa." I pause. "At least, not directly. But I appreciate the apology." I choke out and squeeze my eyes shut tightly.


The depression swirls in my stomach and around my chest. The alcohol doesn't help much. I feel I might get sick, but I don't move. I thought I'd gotten through this feeling. I briefly think about telling her as she asked, because she might not remember it in the morning, but I don't want to risk it.

 

[Asteria]

I shake my head, realizing she's completely drunk. I keep my head in my hands but talk loud enough for her to hear. "This isn't about you, Clarissa." I pause. "At least, not directly. But I appreciate the apology." I choke out and squeeze my eyes shut tightly.
The depression swirls in my stomach and around my chest. The alcohol doesn't help much. I feel I might get sick, but I don't move. I thought I'd gotten through this feeling. I briefly think about telling her as she asked, because she might not remember it in the morning, but I don't want to risk it.

''So this wasn't about her being a bitch? The who was this about? Oh God, Clarissa stop asking yourself questions.'' I say as I think about a way to bring out that Decklan she knew and actually, the Decklan that everybody knew. She didn't actually care what was all this about but Decklan felt bad so she needed to help him.


''Ok then, big boy, jacket and sneakers down. No complaining and you follow me.'' I say as I start to walk on the beach, sometimes looking back to see if he did what I askedhim.

 

[SecretsInTime]

I raised my eyebrows as I looked down at the beach, and looked up slightly to see Clarissa walking down the sand. She looked over to me and waved me along.


I felt like I was going to fall over, dizzy with rage and sadness and alcohol. But somehow, through a mood that would normally have me swinging at people, Clarissa was able to get me up and walking. How did she do it?


Beats me.


I slowly take off my jacket and shoes, leaving them behind me in the sand. I stand hesitantly, feeling my head reel, but then take small steps after her. Whatever she's doing, I'm curious enough about it to find out.

 

[Asteria]

I raised my eyebrows as I looked down at the beach, and looked up slightly to see Clarissa walking down the sand. She looked over to me and waved me along.
I felt like I was going to fall over, dizzy with rage and sadness and alcohol. But somehow, through a mood that would normally have me swinging at people, Clarissa was able to get me up and walking. How did she do it?


Beats me.


I slowly take off my jacket and shoes, leaving them behind me in the sand. I stand hesitantly, feeling my head reel, but then take small steps after her. Whatever she's doing, I'm curious enough about it to find out.

I was kind of proud that I actually made him get up from his shitty state and made him follow me on the beach.


''First of all, no, it is not a pervert thing, second, it is gonna sound stupid, but it will help.'' It will help, the running around thing from the waves sounded like a kids thing but it will surely help. We finally get next to the water and then I stop.


''Ok, now you imagine the waves are your problems, like every single problem you could have on this planet and you stand and wait for them to hit you, but when they least expect, and yes, the waves expect things, you run from them. I mean if you can scream: Come and take me! it could help more, but you know. For a starter the running could be good enough.'' I say as I put my hand in front of you like an invitation to hold it.

 

[SecretsInTime]

I cringe a little. This definitely wasn't something I normally would do. Even in my slightly drunk state I wasn't often found doing things childishly. But if Clary says it will help, well... Worth a try I guess.


I take her hand after a brief pause, her small hand fitting perfectly in mine. I close around it tightly, and she pulls me towards the waves. I wait where the waves are going to wash up to soon. I envision the problems - Talia, my parents and stepdad, the band's impending judgement, Morgan and her dolls, being judged by everyone and anyone - all swirling in the upset water. As it comes closer, I step backward a couple steps, so it doesn't hit me by just an inch.


I smirk. Take that, waves. I think to myself.


I get a little closer this time, getting more confident. When it comes faster this time, I almost hop back. The small smirk remains on my face.

 

[Asteria]

I cringe a little. This definitely wasn't something I normally would do. Even in my slightly drunk state I wasn't often found doing things childishly. But if Clary says it will help, well... Worth a try I guess.
I take her hand after a brief pause, her small hand fitting perfectly in mine. I close around it tightly, and she pulls me towards the waves. I wait where the waves are going to wash up to soon. I envision the problems - Talia, my parents and stepdad, the band's impending judgement, Morgan and her dolls, being judged by everyone and anyone - all swirling in the upset water. As it comes closer, I step backward a couple steps, so it doesn't hit me by just an inch.


I smirk. Take that, waves. I think to myself.


I get a little closer this time, getting more confident. When it comes faster this time, I almost hop back. The small smirk remains on my face.

''Like that!'' She said as she kept following and looking at him. He enjoyed it and it seemed his smirk came back to life on his face and that made me smile too, as I threw some water with my legs on his jeans.


''Mister Rebel came back to life it seems.'' I said rising her eyebrow as I left a wave hit my long and skinny legs.


''Catch me if you can! Catch your problems and throw them in the water!'' I said, laughing as I started to run through the waves, letting out some excited squeals.

 

[SecretsInTime]

I look down at my jeans as they are splattered with water. I pretend glare at Clary, as she laughs and runs away into the waves, daring me to catch her.


Well I've never refused a challenge, so...


I wade into the water slowly, then faster as I start to forget. As I resume my previous somewhat good mood, there's a small voice in the back of my head telling me that that fit about the past was not the last one I'd have in the coming days. But for one of the first times, I was okay with that. I'd take it as it came.


I catch up to her as she squeals and scoop her up out of the water, much like last night when I helped her with her knee. I believe people call it "bridal style?" Either way I spin her around a little to get a reaction, laughing, then set her down again. It was a brief moment of contact - I find myself wishing for more, but I'm not exactly sure I want to go down that road, what with the breakdown I just had.

 

[Asteria]

I look down at my jeans as they are splattered with water. I pretend glare at Clary, as she laughs and runs away into the waves, daring me to catch her.
Well I've never refused a challenge, so...


I wade into the water slowly, then faster as I start to forget. As I resume my previous somewhat good mood, there's a small voice in the back of my head telling me that that fit about the past was not the last one I'd have in the coming days. But for one of the first times, I was okay with that. I'd take it as it came.


I catch up to her as she squeals and scoop her up out of the water, much like last night when I helped her with her knee. I believe people call it "bridal style?" Either way I spin her around a little to get a reaction, laughing, then set her down again. It was a brief moment of contact - I find myself wishing for more, but I'm not exactly sure I want to go down that road, what with the breakdown I just had.

I kept running, sometimes looking back and noticing him after me as I keep screaming a little. He finally looked better and he wasn't a wreck anymore so it seems my weird thing actually worked.


I actually squeal when he picks me up and I laugh when he spins me around making my head going dizzy for a moment, spinning and alcohol didn't work good together. When he sets me down I keep laughing as I hold his arms only because I was dizzy and I felt a kind of tension between us, but I ignored it.


''Ok, ok, you've won. You can pick a prize.'' I have always left people pick a prize after I dare them to do something and they win, mostly I got this from my father. ''Come on, don't be shy.'' I continued as I kept looking at him, the alcohol speaking instead of me.

 

[SecretsInTime]

"Pick a prize?" I wondered to myself, as Clarissa's beaming face swam through my vision. The alcohol was messing with my sight, and apparently also my head, because the first 'prize' that came to mind was simply swooping down and kissing her. "I'm just an emotional wreck," I think, "thinking about kissing another girl right after being so torn up by another."





And the scary part about it: there was no other prize I could think of that I wanted more than that.


I steadied Clary a little as she gripped onto my arms. "Come on, don't be shy," she said, beckoning me to choose something. I couldn't decide... But I ended up choosing one that doesn't seem too forward and won't automatically get me involved. The safest prize.


"Ride to school with me. For at least a week. " I say, smirking. To cover up why I want her to do this, I say, "I want to see your reaction to a motorcycle."