Realistic or Modern Anchored by Love: Draft Three

[Lexus]

Dawson​

I knew once she saw it, it would all feel like a dream. We started dating shortly after Isabel started her career as a journalist, and in the beginning, when I asked her what she looked forward to most in her career, this was one of her answers. She wanted to be accomplished enough to display all her works for her friends, family and colleagues to see, but she told me, secretly, this was for her. In order to believe in the difference she hoped to make, she literally needed to see it blown up and admired by all the people who were important to her. She described this as one of her defining moments and as I picked my brain for a way to remind her of the woman she was, I thought there was no better time for a defining moment than now.

As she was welcomed through the embraces of her loved ones, I stood back and let her have her moment. After all, this was her accomplishment, I just did a little pushing to set it all up.

What I didn't expect was that this showcase would also be a defining moment for me. When we talked about it in the past I admired Isabel for her determindnation to make a difference, but also her ability to eagerly set such ambitious goals for herself. I had never experienced an individual like her. She saw all the world had to offer her and she wanted to go chase it, something about this unheard of perspective excited me not only for her, but it excited me about her as well. When she talked about this showcase, I found myself daydreaming about being there by her side to support her. At the time, we were still new to each other so I had no idea what the future would hold, but watching her with our son in her arms showing him what meant the most to her before he came into the world, I never could have imagined this would be our future together. I'm so proud of you, Amor.

It was in this moment I was reminded that all her differences from my family are what made her into the woman I was staring back at, the woman that excited me to fall in love with her. I fell in love with Isabel because she was unlike any other woman I encountered and I knew if I didn't take my shot at winning her over, I would be the biggest damn fool.

How did you get so lost, Covington? You can't take a woman like that for granted.

Walking towards her, I took the woman I loved into my arms, needing to hold her after feeling so stupid for how I'd been treating her. When she thanked me I felt the guilt eat at the pit of my stomach and was quick to deny my effort in this scheme.

"Don't thank me, this is all you, Isabel. None of us would be here if it wasn't for you," I replied kissing her cheek, letting her go when she pulled away, taking our son from her arms before her and Amelia walked off to go have a celebratory drink together outside away from the noise. It didn't surprise me any, they had a way of soaking in their moments together and I was certain after what they had been through together, they deserved to remember this one. Watching the two women walk away together in their extravagant dresses, I looked over to Jayden who was holding his daughter to his chest and wondered how we got so lucky.

Amelia​

"Of course they want to buy your work, Best Friend, it's worth showing off," I insisted, taking her and Mateo in another hug. As much as I avoided Dallas over the last year and a half, I was honored to be here to pay tribute to my anchor and her achievements. I never doubted how far she would go, but I knew this was important for her, it was meant for her to see the difference and success one person could make, that one person finally being her. I was proud to call myself her best friend even though I knew there were rough patches in our friendship where I didn't deserve to be.

Tonight I was going to shower her in my pride and love for her, taking her hand, I pulled her away from Dawson. I knew all the guests here wanted to see her, but I still wanted to tell her how proud I was of her on my own. Right now, we weren't just mothers, tonight we were reliving our lives as journalists.

"So how does it feel?" I asked looking over my shoulder while the wine was being poured. "You feel like a total badass yet?"

 

[isax]

Isabel​

When Amelia took my hand to drag me away from all the noise, I let Dawson take Mateo from my arms before I walked away with Amelia. When we walked outside to the hotel's bar, I smiled gently as I sat down at one of the stools, watching the bartender pour both Amelia and I a glass of wine. Being here and having so many people admire my work left me at a loss for words. I remember telling Dawson about this, hoping one day it could come true. I always wanted to be established enough to have a showcase and show to everyone I knew what being a photojournalist meant to me. Having a showcase was also a bit selfish of me. I wanted to know that what I was doing in the world was actually making a difference. It was hard to believe that when I was my own critic so being able to have everyone important here and admiring my work is something that would reassure me I was doing what I was meant to be doing.

"It feels indescribable. Being here with everyone as they admire my work is amazing. It makes me feel like I was doing what I was meant to be doing." I said, thanking the bartender when he gave Amelia and I our glasses of wine. Sipping mine, I let out a content hum, admiring the taste of it. "Mm, do I feel like a total badass? I think I do. Everything in that room is my work and seeing it blown up is even more breathtaking. I miss it, honestly. I miss being in the field and taking on assignments. I wish a newsroom would think I'm worth having again but even if they don't, I could always freelance. I think I'm badass enough to do that." I explained to her with a laugh, taking another sip of my wine before I looked at Amelia again. "Thank you for helping Dawson and most importantly, thank you for being here. I know being in Dallas is something you've avoided for awhile now but you being here makes this moment even more real." Smiling at the woman I called my best friend, I looked away from her as I sipped on my wine again, staring off into the distance before I asked her a question that had been bugging me.

"Do you miss it? Being able to help so many people by telling their stories. Don't you want to get back into it? Do you ever think the Straight Scoop can actually be something someday?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Hearing Isabel feel proud in her work brought a wide grin to my thin lips. It was all I hoped for throughout our decade of friendship. Sipping my wine, I kept my gaze on her, a smirk present as I listened to her talk about her promising future. Then of course came her thank yous before she turned the conversation away from herself. Typical. You can only love in a moment about yourself for two minutes before it's back onto me.

"I wouldn't have missed tonight for anything, I love you too much. That and I needed this drink," I said in a laugh, sipping my wine happily, tapping my fingernails on the glass, following Isabel's gaze out onto the lit skyline, shaking my head at her question.

"Oh Isabel, you're so helpless, tonight isn't about me, or us, it's about you. There's plenty of people in there who could offer you a place back in a newsroom and I think you're ready to take it, so you should. You're an amazing storyteller and I love you for it."

Biting my lip, I continued to nurse my wine, knowing Isabel wouldn't settle for me turning the attention back on herself. Sighing, I looked at her with a genuine look of content.

"I'm happy, Isabel. I promise. Stop worrying about me. We'll see what the future holds."

I didn't want to tell Isabel Jay and I were ready to move, but it wouldn't be back to Dallas, instead, it would be to Florida where i would be taking a job at the one place she didn't want me to settle. Now wasn't the time to disappoint her,

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Amelia was right in sense that I never let something be completely about me long. I didn't like being the center of attention for more than I needed to be and that was evident in how I was always quick to ask someone else how they were, changing the topic of conversation from me to them. It was a habit that developed over many years and it was one I wasn't sure I would ever break. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't really care.

"I'm glad you're happy, Amelia. I really am." I replied to my best friend softly, unaware of anything she and Jayden had been planning. I was simply content in knowing that Jayden was the man I hoped he was for Amelia and now my mini me. He made Amelia happy and it didn't take any ordinary man to do so. "I think I'm finally happy again myself." I whispered, finishing up the glass of wine I had in my hand, handing over my card to pay for both mine and Amelia's before we made our way back into the massive room. There were still so many people admiring my work.

I didn't really leave Amelia's side once we were back in all the noise. I never thought I would sell my work but I agreed to let them be bought and Savannah took care of it. It was amazing to see so many of the Covington's here in the same room as Amelia and I because I never thought it would happen again. I never thought they would be here to support me, a person they still only saw as the color of my skin. They had to really be swallowing their pride to be here and acknowledge what I decided to do for a living and I was thankful they were here, despite all the drama. Maybe we can all get along someday.

Walking over to Jayden and Dawson, I happily took Mateo back in my arms while I watched Amelia do the same with my mini me. When I was with these three people, they made the world seem to fade out and my time with them was always happy and memorable. Dawson and Jayden did the usual back-and-forth banter and teasing while Amelia and I simply rolled our eyes at the two. Today didn't seem real to me but it was and I couldn't be anymore thankful for it.

Towards the end when the noise started to wind down, I found myself staring at the very pictures I took of Dawson that started it all for us. Smiling, I took in how beautiful they were and how well they captured who my pilot really was. He wasn't defined by his rank or his stunts, nor was he defined by his last name. Dawson Nicholas Covington defined who he was himself through his actions, his kindness and tenderness. His determination to never give up along with his playful (cocky in my opinion) personality. He was an amazing man and realizing how much he means to me made chills run down my back. Mateo's playful scream was what brought me back to the realism of the room, and I smiled at my son before I kissed him cheek. "Who's that Mateo?" I asked, pointing at his father in one of he pictures. "Is that daddy?" I asked, my mom voice ever so present. I didn't want this night to end but I knew it had to. The room wasn't as full anymore and some of the pictures were taken off the wall and now in the possession of someone who valued their worth. Take it all in while you can.

Watching everyone left chatter from a distance, I cried silently to myself. In this moment I felt like myself again. I hadn't felt like that since Mateo was born. I lost myself in the everyday called life and I let negative events cloud my focus on who I was. I finally felt whole again, even more so when I looked at my email and found job offers for several newsrooms that wanted me. This night was everything I imagined it would be.

With everyone now gone, Dawson took Mateo from me once more while I said my goodbyes to my wonderful family. When Amelia and Jayden came over to say their goodbyes, I hugged Amelia tight, not wanting to let go. I wanted her to stay. I wanted us to have the company we both dreamed of having. That was the only newsroom I wanted to be in right now after such a defining moment in my life. "I wish you could stay." I whispered to her, letting the usual tears fall as I held her tightly. "Come back and visit soon? Or maybe I can go and visit you, wherever you and Jayden decide to move." Winking, I pulled away. I needed Amelia to know that even if she and Jayden weren't moving back to Dallas, she always had my support. I knew my best friend well enough to know where her and Jayden were going to be living and I was excited. Even if I think you're worth being in a different newsroom, I want you to know that I support you. I'll get you out of TB one day and that's a promise. One day, you'll be calling the shots in the SS. That's what I'll be working towards from now on, Melia. "Stay in touch, okay? And let me know when y'all land! Better yet, send me your flight number so I can keep track of ya." Laughing, I smiled brightly.

After saying my goodbyes and giving my mini me as many kisses as possible, I let out a yawn, looking at Dawson with nothing but love and admiration while he held Mateo. "This was a really great night. Thank you." I whispered, leaning forward to kiss him full of passion before I pulled away and rested my forehead against his. "Can we go eat now?" I asked to lighten the mood with a laugh.

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

To my relief, the night was a success. Saying my own thank yous to those leaving, I too kept a grip on my best friend for longer than normal. It was never easy to watch our friends leave, in my eyes they should be a part of our everyday lives rather than just visitors. Despite having to say see ya next time, I was pleased Jayden convinced Amelia to come tonight, I knew it wouldn't be the same for Isabel without her best friend here. I promised Jayden the Covingtons would behave, I knew if my promise fell short it would be my ass he would chew out and not theirs.

After it all, I stood in the middle of the now vacant ballroom still scattered with some of Isabel's prints, holding my son, bouncing him one arm to keep him from fussing. It was past his bedtime for sure.

When Isabel kissed me her lips still tasted like wine, that was enough to make tonight worth it. "We can go out if you want, or we can go home and order something in, it's up to you, journalist of the hour."

Kissing her in return, I took her smooth hands in my free, rough one. There was still one more thing I had to tell Isabel before the night was over.

"I just want you to know, I appreciate the sacrifices you make for me to do what I love every day. I know I don't thank you enough for all that you do for all of us, but I love you for it, Amor and wherever tonight takes you from here on out, I want you to do it, no matter the sacrifice I have to make for you to be the woman you're meant to be, I want you to do it. No more settling just to please me. You've made enough sacrifice and it's my turn to put you first."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

When Dawson kissed me in return, the smile on my face spread from cheek to cheek and the smile was actually genuine. Today was definitely a night I would remember and I never wanted it to end. All goods things must come to an end, though and I had to accept it. The night was a success and I didn't even know where to begin in thanking Dawson for putting it together.

I listened to my pilot tell me how grateful he was that I made sacrifices for him but what caught me off guard was him telling me I sacrificed enough. Now, it was my turn to have his support in what I wanted to do in life, what I loved doing and I couldn't thank him enough for his support. Dawson.

Feeling the tears trail down my face, I cupped his face in my hands, smiling at him as the tears continued to fall. "Dawson, I love you." I whispered softly, kissing him lovingly and full of passion, resting my forehead against his when I pulled away. "Con todo mi Corazon. Thank you for allowing me to grow and do what I love from here. It really means a lot to me." I kissed him again, quick to wipe away the tears when we pulled away from each other once again. Sighing contently, I felt like a whole new person. Now, I felt like the badass that I knew I was. Tonight changed everything. "I would love to go out since we all look so nice but it's way past Mateo's bedtime so maybe we should go home and order something in." I explained, taking Dawson's rough hand back in my soft one as we walked to the truck, hand-in-hand. I was thankful Mateo stayed asleep and when valet brought us the truck, I helped Dawson put Mateo in his car seat before sitting in the front with the man who stole my heart. "What should we order in?" I asked, taking off my shoes since my feet were killing me. The night was still young but I was a mother who needed to tend to her motherly duties. You know you're just as tired as Mateo.

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

"It's still your night, we'll get whatever you want," I whispered, not wanting to wake Mateo. He wasn't the easiest baby to get to sleep, and once he was awake, he would only start to fight his sleep again. I knew my mom would have taken him for the night, but he was going through a phase where all he wanted was his mother and I couldn't deny him that.

Picking up the burgers Isabel requested we headed home for the night. By the end of it, I found her asleep on her side of the bed with Mateo on her chest. It only took the ten minutes I spent in the shower for both of them to give into their exhaustion. Taking in the sight, I took a picture of my little family before I tidied up the house so Isabel wouldn't have to worry about it in the morning. Picking up all Mateo's toys and throwing out our trash from dinner, I wasn't completely exhausted yet, so I sat out in the living room watching tv, where I fell asleep curled up in the blanket my mom crocheted for Mateo before he was born.

The next day...
Saint Petersburg, Florida
Amelia​

One of the reasons I felt so inclined to become a journalist was because of the constant change in scenery. Unlike most people, I openly embraced change. I knew I wasn't one for a predictable career that consisted of the same setting every day, it would cause me to go insane. Rather than finding security in its sameness, I found boredom. I needed constant change to keep me feeling alive. So when Jayden and I boarded a flight to Florida the same night we left Isabel's showcase in Texas, the adjustment wasn't a difficult one for me, it was embraced excitedly.

We hoped if we flew in the same night little Bel would sleep through the three-hour flight. I was still nervous for her though, this was a lot of traveling for a month old to endure. Luckily, as we hoped, she slept through most of the flight, curled into Jayden's chest after we changed her from her poofy dress into soft pajamas.

I didn't know why, but I was nervous for this trip. Maybe it was because my daughter was being introduced to the rest of her crazy family, but I knew it was mostly the thought of moving back home. After being on my own for so long, I knew being surrounded by family was going to take some getting used to, but I knew I would greatly appreciate their help with my daughter.

After a peaceful night's rest, my sister offered to take her niece for the say and I willingly accepted, wanting to explore the beach scene I was craving for months now. I missed the smell and feel of the saltwater air on my skin and I unquestionably needed a tan.

"We're going to my spot," I told Jayden, making the fifteen-minute drive to my favorite beach. Paying for parking for a few hours, I parked the SUV and took Jayden's hand eagerly.

"Get excited, Yankee, you're at a real beach!" I exclaimed in a giggle throwing my shoes in the car and stripping down to the new bathing suit I bought for the trip, a black bikini.

The cement in the parking lot was blistering hot but I was adapted to it, running straight across it and to the soft sand, leaving Jayden behind, running for the ocean. I can smell it. I'm home.

Turning around to hear Jayden curse, I couldn't help but laugh when I saw why he was. He followed my lead and decided to run across the hot asphalt barefoot. "Rookie!" I called out to him while he put his flip flops back on. "C'mon!" I yelled impatiently, the sound of the calm waves calling out to me. It was almost October so the water was still warm and i was about to dive in.

 

[isax]

Saint Petersburg, Florida
Jayden​

The flight over to Saint Petersburg wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I know both Amelia and I were thankful Isabel slept the entire flight. I knew all the travel had to be uncomfortable for our one month old daughter but she seemed to be handling it well. After getting a good nights sleep, Amelia and I woke up rejuvenated and ready to tackle the day. We were here to house hunt but I also knew Amelia wanted to have some fun. She wanted to show me around her home, the place she grew up and I couldn't deny her that. Seeing her face light up as she explained to me every spot we passed was worth taking some time to ourselves. Thanks to Brooke taking Isabel for the day, Amelia and I were able to venture off to the one place I knew she would always love: the beach.

Being from the North didn't prepare me for what a real beach was like and after parking, I cursed to myself for thinking I could tackle the beach like Amelia. My feet burned the minute they touched the burning asphalt so I was quick to put my flip flops back on. Laughing at Amelia, I motioned for her to keep going while I walked over to her with our towels and beach bag. Seeing her in her natural habit, enjoying the feeling of the sand beneath her toes before soaking in the water took my breath away. Seeing her so happy always did that. I would always love seeing how happy she was.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled out to her, setting the stuff I was carrying before I stripped myself of my shirt and flip flops, heading into the water after Amelia. Once I was in, I released a relaxing sigh. Being in the salt water instantly relaxed my normally tense body. This is definitely a real beach. Swimming over to Amelia, I was quick to take her in my arms, kissing the back of her neck with a grin. "You look really good in that bikini, Amelia." I whispered, kissing her cheek before I let her flustered self go so she could continue swimming. "So this is a real beach huh? Nothing like anything I've ever been to before." I said with a laugh, going underwater and coming back up after a couple of seconds.

Dallas, Texas
Isabel​

After such a magnificent night at the Statler, I had to come down from my high and go back to my motherly duties. I was awake by six in the morning but today was different from before. I felt better, stronger and sure of who I was. I no longer doubted who I was or why I did what I did. Now it was time for me to be the badass I know I can be. Today marked a new beginning for me and now I was ready to tackle what laid ahead for me.

The first thing I did when I woke up was go for a run. I needed to be more serious about working out and losing weight which started now. After my run, I came back home to shower, only putting on my red with black lace robe. I brushed out my hair and left it down, letting my curls decide what they wanted to do today. I let my boys sleep while I sat outside on our patio, soaking in the cool and cloudy day. I had my laptop on my lap, reading the emails asking me to be apart of different newsrooms. There's so many, what the heck. I guess I am worth having.

Hearing Mateo begin fussing around ten o'clock, I walked back inside and walked to his room, becoming curious when his cries ceased. Smiling as I leaned against the door frame, I watched Dawson tend to our son gently. Watching my two boys together was something I would never get tired of. Smiling at Dawson when our gazes met, I stayed leaning on the door frame. "Morning handsome. I'm glad you and Mateo got to sleep in today." Dawson being home for the weekend was rare and I was more than pleased that he was. "Mateo has his doctor's appointment at noon. Poor baby is getting another round of shots. Will you be joining he and I today?" I asked Dawson, walking over to him, tip toeing to give him a loving kiss, pulling away when Mateo screamed excitedly. "Well good morning to you too, Mateo. Mommy loves you." Kissing his forehead, I looked over at Dawson who was looking at me in a different way than before. What're you thinking about? "What is it, Dawson?" I asked curiously, biting my lip as my nerves began to rise.

 

[Lexus]

St. Petersburg, Flordia
Amelia ​

This whole scene was surreal to me for many reasons. The first one being, when I grew up here for the first half of my life I was too stubborn to admit this place did hold a sentimental place in my heart. I was so insistent on leaving the mundane place I grew up to travel the world, thinking there had to be something better out there than this town that I had no idea why anyone would ever want to vacation to. It didn't make sense to me. I was convinced I hated here and was itching to leave at the first chance I got. Now, I realized, while I didn't regret leaving to explore, this was still my home and it was something to be proud of. Running down to the ocean, I realized just how much I used to take it for granted. When I lived here, I only soaked my feet in it by the shore, adamant I hated swimming in the Gulf of Mexico because I hated the feeling of my skin being covered in salt and whatever was floating in the merky water, the thought disgusted me, but now, I ran straight for it, needing the same feeling of salt against my skin to remind me I was home.

Ahhh yes, there it is. Soaking my hair into the water, I knew it would get dry in the sun, another thing I used to hate, but I didn't care. Coming up for air, I felt Jayden take a hold of me and I squealed excitedly. I couldn't be happier than I am right now. With my body against his, I felt him relax at the feeling of the warm water against his skin. It's great, isn't it? That's why this is my spot when I'm upset.

Giggling at his subtle comment at my suit, I pushed off of him and backstroked further out. "You're relentless!" I called out to him, stopping when I was a few feet away from him. "This is it," I said watching him soak himself and come back up. "You don't look so bad yourself," I teased, eyeing his bare muscular top half as I splashed him playfully when he came towards me, "What are you doing?" I asked feeling him take me in his arms again, before I kissed him happily, his lips tasting like salt, something I never tasted on him before. Aha I could get used to that.

Dallas, Texas
Dawson ​

Even though I fell asleep on the couch in the living room I didn't hear Isabel leave or return. I honestly had no idea she left. I didn't wake up until I heard Mateo's morning cries. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I yawned, dragging myself to his room, smiling at him standing in his crib, holding on for balance. Being almost six months now, he was starting to become a handful to keep in one place. "What are you doing boy?" I asked, seeing him grin through his pacifier, his dark-colored hair that matched his mother's was naturally tangled in all different directions from his sleep.

Picking him up from the crib I kissed his cheeks, hearing his sweet giggles to be in my arms. "Did you sleep well my little bandit?" I whispered fixing his hair with the palm of my hand. Rocking my son gently, I caught a glimpse of his mother and grinned. There's something different about you. You're so....radiant.

Kissing her cheek in greeting I nodded in agreeance. "I'll go." Voicing over Mateo's excited screams.I was unaware when Isabel spoke to our son that I zoned out from trying to figure out what was so different about her. You're beautiful the way you are. When she caught me admiring her I chuckled, kissing her nose, "You're cute, mama."

 

[isax]

Saint Petersburg, Florida
Jayden​

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm spending time with my beautiful fiancée in Florida, the most southern state around, swimming at a real beach." I replied to Amelia nonchalantly, smiling before I pulled her closer against me once more, kissing her with love and passion. Her lips tasted like salt and that was something I never tasted before. Different but exciting.

Pulling away from Amelia, I kept my arms wrapped around her as I smiled down at her, my expression full of relaxation and contentment. "Who knew living here would be so relaxing. I'm even more excited for our house hunting adventures tomorrow." I whispered, kissing Amelia lovingly once again before I swam backwards away from her, splashing her with water in the process, soaking up and loving the giggles I heard from her. This, I could definitely get used to this.

Soaking in the salty water was more refreshing than I thought it would be. I always found salt water to be rather disgusting but the truth was that it was far from being awful. "Does living here mean we can come out to our spot whenever we need to?" I asked, knowing she would realize how I just made her spot ours. I didn't want to be anywhere else but here, with my future wife. Staying afloat in this water, watching Amelia enjoy being back where she loved, made me more than excited for what the future has in store for us. I could see Isabel growing up here, loving the beach just like her mother. This, this is perfect.

Dallas, Texas
Isabel​

Hearing Dawson call me cute made my cheeks grow warm, a light blush showing up on them. Giggling softly, I tucked a strand of my curly black hair behind my ear, looking away from my pilot before I looked back at him again. "I love you." I said softly, looking at Mateo when he stuck himself out towards me. Taking him in my arms, I kissed his head, sighing softly. "You just love standing in your crib now, huh Mateo? One day you'll drive mama insane by actually getting out." I said to my son softly, taking Dawson's hand in my free one, leading him out to the living. "Do you want me to make you something?" I asked him softly, setting Mateo in his high chair before I walked to the pantry and grabbed his favorite type of baby food: bananas.

Sitting beside him, I opened the glass can and began feeding him small spoonful's of it, watching Dawson as he made whatever it was he decided he wanted in the kitchen. Eyeing him, I took in the view while I could. Dawson was shirtless, as he always was, and his hair was a mess. His slight masculine structure always gave me chills and those eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes were perfect and I was more than thrilled Mateo got them. When Dawson caught me admiring him, I blushed again, looking away with a nervous giggle. "Why did you fall asleep on the couch last night? You know I was all alone once I put Mateo in his crib." Shrugging my shoulders, I grinned when I saw his expression. He knew what the underlying meaning of my previous sentence was.

Once Mateo was finished eating, I cleaned up his mouth, picking him up in my arms, walking back to his nursery so that I could get him dressed and ready for his appointment. I laid him on the changing station, going to the closet and picking out a cute onesie that said 'Dad's Little Buckaroo'. It's fitting. After dressing him, I walked out of the room with him in my arms, handing him off to Dawson. "Want to set him in his play area? I need to get ready and so do you." I also need to finish booking everything for our surprise vacation but you can't know about that. "Do you know where I left my laptop?"

 

[Lexus]

St. Petersburg, Florida
Amelia ​

Our spot. "I guess I can share with you." Splashing him again, I wiped the salt from my eyes, feeling my wet hair stick to my cheeks, tasting the salt dripping from my split ends that were long overdue for a cut. Going under again, I raised my legs straight up in the air before I swam for shore, catching my footing when it became shallow. It was a much-needed dip but now it was time to continue my beach tradition and attempt to gain a tan. Reaching into the beach bag I skillfully packed I grabbed a towel to dry off on, setting out the blanket with the towel on my shoulders. Keeping the blanket mounted to the ground with a shoe in each corner, I sat on it happily, covering myself in suntan lotion. Another thing that smells like home.

Not many people knew, but in college, my roommate, Ella, and I used to rub on suntan lotion when we would sit out in the courtyard to study because we knew if we even tried to study at the beach it would be a failed attempt. Smiling at the memory, I grabbed my phone to take a picture of my sandy feet with the ocean in view and texted it to my old friend to let her know I was back in town. I hoped maybe we could catch up over lunch one day. I wanted to hear all about what she was spending her time researching and to meet Isabel of course.

Laying down on the blanket I opened the music library on my phone and played my country playlist shamelessly. This isn't the north. I was now completely content.

Dallas, Texas
Dawson ​

"Were you expecting me to come back and keep ya company?" I asked Isabel with a knowing wink and a matching smirk while I cooked eggs and sausage to make a quick breakfast sandwich. "Maybe I'll make it up to you tonight, Darlin'."

While Isabel finished feeding and dressing Mateo for the day, I quickly finished and scarfed down the breakfast I made for myself before she returned and handed our son to me. Smiling at his outfit, I grinned. That's cute.

"Mateo, me gusta tu ropa. Eres muy guapo, hijo."

Kissing his forehead, I held him in the bend of my forearm when Isabel needed my attention again. "I don't know, I kinda like the outfit you have one, but that's just me," I replied with a casual shrug of the shoulders. "It's out on the porch where you left it though, Amor."

 

[isax]

St. Petersburg, Florida
Jayden​

Watching Amelia get out of the water, my eyes never left her as she walked towards our stuff, taking out the blanket so she could lay down and soak in the sun. Chuckling, I knew she must have put on tanning lotion. Amelia with a tan, now that'll be a sight to see. Emerging myself in the salty water once more, I stayed under for about ten seconds, taking in everything happening. This, the salt water and sand, scorching heat, and tan-lines was what my future had in store. I'm definitely not in the north anymore and I'm not opposed to it.

Re-emerging, I swam back to the shore, getting out of the water so I could make my way over to Amelia. Smiling at her, I laid out the other blanket we had and laid beside her, soaking in the sun as well after realizing how pale I actually was. I grabbed my phone and positioned the picture to show Amelia with the sand and salt-water behind her. The view was perfect. I posted the picture to Instagram with a cheesy caption along the lines of 'The view here is so perfect'.

"Amelia," I said softly, moving my head to the side so that I could meet her gaze. "I love it here. I think it's the perfect place for Isabel too and having your family close by will help. I'm actually kind of nervous to join the department here. What's it like here?"

Dallas, Texas
Isabel​

A Fort Worth man speaking Spanish. What did I start? Can't say I'm against it, though. It's sexy. It made my heart soar every time Dawson spoke Spanish to our son and encouraged me wanting to teach it to Mateo. Knowing he supported my Hispanic nature, wanting to teach it all to Mateo was something I loved. I never thought a man would actually keep the traditions of my ethnicity a part of our every day life.

"Mm, I bet you do love what I have on right now." I said with a smile, walking out onto the patio, grabbing my laptop. I held it in one arm, confirming the hotel dates and my flight ticket for the vacation. After confirming it, I shut my laptop, walking back to the room where I smiled at Dawson changing. Walking over, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the back of his neck. "Te amo." I whispered before I pulled away to change myself, pulling the string loose that held the robe together, letting it fall to the floor. I walked into the closet, putting an outfit together to wear for today.

After getting dressed, I sat at my vanity, brushing my hair then going through my many lipsticks, deciding on which one to wear for today. I put on a mauve color, looking back at my reflection, satisfied with how I looked for once in a long while. "Listos, Amor?" I called out to my boyfriend, turning around with a smile on my face when I saw his reflection in the mirror as he emerged from the bathroom. "I'm so glad you're home this weekend."

 

[Lexus]

St. Petersburg, Florida
Amelia ​

I ignored Jayden taking the picture of me, I kept my eyes closed, continuing to soak in the sun, the salt water drying into my skin. "Hmm?" I whispered only loud enough for him to hear through my music. Lifting my head I laughed at Jayden's piqued curiosity about what was going to be his new home.

"Well, there won't be a day where you come home and won't have a story to tell. There are some characters you'll get to know out on the streets. I think you'll like it. We haven't lost an officer since I was in high school and every year there is a block party for officers and their families. Every baseball season you get ten tickets, you'll be well taken care of here, I promise." I reassured Jayden, knowing it was important to him to have some idea of what he was getting into, but I found myself thinking about the one person who wasn't present. What about Lincoln? What if he doesn't want to move here and he wants to stay in Chicago?

Dallas, Texas
Dawson ​

"I'm happy to be home," I replied with a smile before going to retrieve Mateo for his appointment, Now that he was older, he resisted his car seat so trying to get out the door with him was a hassle. By the time you got him buckled in, he was screaming bloody murder.

Picking him up from his playmat, i kissed his cheeks, trying to put him in a good mood, hoping he wouldn't notice what I was trying to do, but it was too late. When he saw the car seat and felt me try to lower him in his entire body tensed up and he tried to squirm out of my hold. "Mateo," I said through his angry screams, "Not today, mi amor, please." I pleaded giving him his pacifier. Looking up at Isabel when she came into the room, I gave her a helpless expression. We didn't have time for this fight today.

 

[isax]

St. Petersburg, Florida
Jayden​

I could only hope that Amelia was right when she said I would be taken care of here in St. Petersburg. The more time we spent here, the more time I began to love it and the more I came to the agreement that this city was a good place to raise Isabel. What about Lincoln? I hated given a lot of thought about Lincoln and the bliss I was in immediately went away as I began to panic. Was my son going to love it here just as much as I did? As much as Amelia did? Was he going to hate being here? Was the culture shook going to be too much? Breathe. I knew Lincoln. I knew how open to new places he was. He definitely had the travel bug and I wanted to show him the world. I also knew he wanted to be wherever Amelia and I were. He wanted to be with his family.

"Mm, I'll believe what you say. I look forward to all the stories I get to tell every day after work and boy do I look forward to those baseball games. I assure you, though, Amelia, I will never become a TB fan for as long as we live here." Laughing at my own statement, I smiled at her before I closed my eyes and moved my head looking up towards the sun. Everything will be okay. More than okay. It'll be perfect.

I let the silence consume Amelia and I as we both soaked in the sun. I was hoping to be a nice tan color rather than turning into a burnt looking tomato. I looked forward to moving here. Grabbing Amelia's hand, I held it, smiling as I played with her engagement ring. One day, you'll be my wife. I hope that day comes soon. We hadn't discussed wedding plans at all and it had been close to a year since she said yes. I didn't mind. We both got busy with work and now it was going to be the move, I didn't want to push her into thinking I wanted the wedding now. It could wait because in my eyes, Amelia was already my wife. She was already the woman I would adore and cherish for the rest of my life. She had my heart.

Dallas, Texas
Isabel​

I heard fussing from Mateo as I made my way out to the living room, looking at Dawson's defeated look with our son refusing to go into his car seat. He began to hate the car seat more than ever. "Mateo, amor, por favor. No llores." I said softly, walking over to grab him from his father, kissing his face all over to distract him. "Everything is okay, Mateo. We have errands to run today so please, just let mommy put you in your car seat."

I was able to keep Mateo distracted by agooing to him and getting him to talk back in excited yells. There was no official trick to getting him to calm down so putting him in the car seat would be easier, but I could at least try different methods until one proved the victor. "Hola Mateo. Hola mi amor. Estas bien?" I said in my sweetest mommy voice, finally getting him into the seat without him tightening up and crying. Releasing a soft sigh, I was quick to buckle him in and gave him his pacifier, looking over at Dawson with a gentle smile. "Okay, let's go now before he starts fussing." With that I ran to grab the diaper bag, carrying it out to the car while Dawson carried Mateo.

Getting in the car was a success and I took Dawson's hand in mine as I sighed again. "Okay, to Dr. Toby's office. Afterwards can we go to HEB? I feel like cooking tonight if you're okay with that."

 

[Lexus]

St. Petersburg, Florida
Amelia ​

"See that's how you know you're not from here. No one calls themselves a TB fan, but you will be a Rays fan, it's inevitable. Your own department will disown you." I replied in an exasperated sigh, enjoying the sun.

I knew Jayden was thinking about the future, how perfect it would be, I was thinking about it too, but for different reasons. I was having doubts that it would turn out to be as perfect. Being who I was, I had doubts everywhere I went. I could only hope I was making the right decision

When night fell, I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned for close to four hours before I gave up. Quietly getting up from the bed, I was careful not to wake Jayden, reaching for the keys, kissing his forehead before I went to find comfort in the night.

After a blissful day under the sun together, talking about our future, Jayden had no way of knowing my world actually felt like it was spinning and I know he didn't anticipate after the day we spent together, that he would think that would be the last time he saw me. Watching the man I loved sleep peacefully, I couldn't help but think about how much I loved him before walking out of our room and I hoped he knew that for the rest of his life.

 

[isax]

St. Petersburg, Florida
Jayden​

The following morning, I extended my arm out, reaching to Amelia but was met with cold sheets instead. Opening my eyes, I instantly went into a panic, sitting up quickly. I didn't know where Amelia went but I tried to calm myself down before I did anything. Calm down. There's a chance she's in the shower. I knew that was a lie, I knew she wasn't in the shower because I didn't hear the water running. I looked at the night stand, noticing the keys to our rental car were missing. She's gone. When did she leave?

Throwing on a shirt and some shorts, I ran to the living room, seeing Brooke sitting on the couch with her children sitting next to her and Isabel in her arms asleep. Smiling at her, I tried not to let my panic show. "Have you seen Amelia this morning?" I asked her, feeling my heart drop when she said no. Amelia, where are you? I felt my stomach begin to turn, my heart dropping as an unbearable pain ran through me. She wasn't here. She wasn't anywhere to be found. She left last night. Please.

I didn't know what to do except call Isabel, telling her what I came to the conclusion to. Amelia left last night at some point and never came back. I didn't know if she was still out there or if something happened, but my gut said this was bad. It told me something happened to Amelia. We were just about to start our life together. Fighting back the tears, I listened as Isabel told me she would be on the next flight out. I knew she would come and not leave until we knew something about her best friend. I couldn't report her missing until tomorrow, which wasn't the best thing considering how worried I was.

"I need to look for her, Brooke. Do you have any idea she may have gone?" I asked her a little too quickly, my words squishing together. "Isabel said she would be here on the next flight out. I can't report her missing until tomorrow. I also don't think she would do something like this."

Dallas, Texas
Isabel​

My heart began to break when I got the call from Jayden. I was in the kitchen, trying to make little to no noise because I didn't want to wake Dawson or Asher. I couldn't stop the tears that came once I knew. This wasn't like Amelia. Leaving in the middle of the night, yes if she was restless, but not coming back home? That wasn't like her. Especially not after spending such a beautiful day with her fiancé.

When I felt arms wrap around me, I turned around and curled into Dawson's chest, crying softly against him. "Amelia isn't at Brooke's. According to Jayden, she left at some point last night because their rental car isn't there." I whispered breathlessly, my body shaking as I thought about something horrible happening to her. I couldn't bare the thought of losing my best friend, a constant in my life, so soon after we just started talking again. I couldn't lose her in general. "I don't know where she would have gone but I do know she would've been back already. This isn't like her, Dawson. I don't know what to do but I need to go to St. Petersburg. I need to help Jayden figure this out." Amelia, I'm going to find you. Where did you go last night? Why did you go alone? Who would have taken you? Please God, please don't let anything happen to her. I need her. Jayden needs her. Isabel needs her. Please. We all need her.

 

[Lexus]

Brooke​

When Jayden asked me where Amelia was, I didn't think much of it. My sister hadn't been home in nearly a year, so I thought maybe she went to visit someone, maybe an old friend or spend the morning by herself. In my mind, Jayden's instant panic was uncalled for. My sister had the strongest head on her shoulders, she was never one to get in trouble and she would never go somewhere if she didn't trust it. She had always been like that. The thought of Amelia being missing didn't make sense to me. At the time, I thought Jayden and Isabel were being irrational, jumping to conclusions that weren't anything like my sister.

"Jayden, you need to breathe," I whispered once I put my niece down and told my kids to go play. "So Amelia didn't tell you where she is? that doesn't mean you panic. Did you call her? She has never got to be spontaneous in her life. She was too busy worrying about everyone else, she never let herself be young without being in her means. You have no reason to think she could have gone too far. You didn't have to call Isabel and blow things out of proportion. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want to wake you and went out to the beach for the morning. Stop freaking out." At least until you check every possibility.

I knew Jayden and Isabel were two of the closest people to my sister, so they thought they had reason to be concerned, but their love for her could also be clouding their judgment and I had to be the level-headed one.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

Taking a deep breath, I took into consideration what Brooke said. I knew the love I had for Amelia could be clouding my judgement on where Amelia was. I immediately went straight to thinking she was missing but I hadn't even called her or made the attempt to go look for her at the beach. Sighing, I nodded before I sat in one of the chairs in the living room, rubbing my face before I grab my phone and text Isabel, telling her to stay in Dallas and wait until I absolutely had no other option but to assume she went missing. "I know, you're right, sorry. I haven't called her and I didn't even think about her possibly being at the beach." I said softly, standing up. "I'm going to try and call her."

Walking back to the guest room Amelia and I were staying at, I called Amelia's cell, trying not to go into a panic when she didn't answer. After the second time being sent to voicemail, I decided to ask Brooke if I could borrow her car to go check the beach. Thanking her when she agreed, I hugged her and gave Isabel a kiss on her head before I walked out. Getting in the car, I drove to the same spot Amelia and I were the previous night, where everything felt so peaceful. I went to our spot.

When I arrived, I began to become worried when I didn't see our rental car, so I parked where we did last night, sighing as I got out and stared at the ocean ahead. I grabbed my phone and tried calling her again, hoping she would answer this time.

 

[Lexus]

Brooke​

When Jayden didn't return after a few hours, that was when my own panic began to set in. There were only a few places my sister could have gone if she wanted to be alone to clear her head and she wouldn't disappear off her grid for this long if she had left last night or early this morning. Thinking about where she could have gone and what could have happened, began to eat at me too, but I knew i couldn't show it when Jayden returned because when it came to Amelia he had always been quick to jump to conclusions and Isabel, she was always one to trust in her instincts and if they told her something was wrong with Amelia, all of us knew something must be wrong, because Isabel always knew her every thought, her every move, even when Amelia didn't want to confide in anyone, she always made it a point to tell Isabel so at least someone knew.

Who would want to hurt my sister? I knew it couldn't have been anyone personally, maybe a source felt she did them dirty? That didn't make sense to me either, though. She was working for the CIA now, and as far as anyone knew, she didn't feel in any immediate danger, according to Isabel. None of this made sense to any of us. It was like my sister just woke up in the middle of the night and vanished.

Three anxiety-ridden days past before we found anything that could lead to her. Investigators found the rental car abandoned with all her belongings inside, her wallet, phone, and the most heartbreaking, the ring and necklace Jayden gave to her for their engagement. Authorities were convinced, because there was no note and no body, that she just didn't want to be found. But the ones who were closest to her, we felt something terrible happened. Each of us had our own theories, but I knew in my heart, even after the investigation fell to a standstill and the rest of the family was convinced after three months of her not showing, she was dead, I had to believe she was still out there, somewhere. If I didn't I would lose my sanity.

The most heartbreaking thing about my sister's disappearance wasn't the uncertainty of if I would ever see her again, it was watching it destroy the Jayden and Isabel to their cores. I knew not knowing was she was, made them feel helpless, kept them up at night, wondering where she could have gone, analyzing their last moments with her, trying to think if there was any underlying thing she said that could have given away what she was thinking.

I could only take so much of it before I gave them both an intervention. Amelia's absence was hard on all of us, but I knew, regardless of what happened to her, she wouldn't want the two people she cared about t the most to think their lives were over because she was no longer a part of it, Jayden especially. I knew Amelia would want him to do what was best for their children and his moping wasn't it. Isabel and Lincoln had already lost a mother, they didn't deserve to lose their father too. I hoped that eventually, Jayden would find the strength to pick himself back up and keep going for the sake of his kids.

 

[isax]

Tampa, Florida
Isabel​

Three months. Three months had gone by since the disappearance of my best friend. Three months since I lost such a vital person in my everyday life. Three months since my world turned to black as I felt my life slowly breaking apart.

Knowing Amelia was nowhere to be found made me feel useless. I hated that I couldn’t even begin to think about someone that may be the cause of this. When I was told she left everything in the car, ring and necklace included, something about it threw me off. That wasn’t something Amelia would just leave behind unlike the officers on the case believed she would. They don’t know her like I do.

I thought it was complete bullshit when the officers simply gave up, telling Jayden they could only assume Amelia left and didn’t want to be found. They made it seem like it was intentional, like Amelia, my best friend wanted to leave Jayden and the life she was just about to start. That was bullshit. Amelia would’ve never left Jayden like that. She loved him and she just had Isabel. There was no way in hell what they came to the conclusion of made sense but then again, none of this made sense.

See, Amelia wasn’t working in the field, which eliminated the idea of someone she wrote a story on tracking her down and trying to ruin her. She worked for the CIA now but even knowing that didn’t ring any alarm bells. She never once mentioned anything she did could potentially put her in danger, plus I just didn’t think anything she covered for them would cause someone to kidnap her. The other options that ran through my mind were Nick. Amelia leaving her ring and necklace behind instantly made me think of that asshole. That was something he would have made her do but he was serving life for killing Amelia’s first unborn child. There was no way in hell he was smart enough to find a way out. The last person to run through my head was Josie. She and I still weren’t, and probably would never, be on good terms. She got to me through Amelia once before, so I thought maybe she would’ve done it again but I ruled her out. She didn’t know enough about Amelia to know she lived in St. Pete before starting her life in Dallas. She wouldn’t know she and Jayden were coming her.

Not knowing who is behind Amelia’s disapperance broke me completely.At one point I was the best in the investigative team at the Dallas Morning News despite how young I was. I did a damn hell of a job solving and putting together pieces no other team member could, but now, when I needed that those skills the most, I sucked at it. I had no lead. Not a sing sliver of an idea as to who could pulling the strings. I was probably the only one who thinks someone was behind all of this. Everyone in Amelia’s family already ruled her dead but I didn’t. I wasn’t stupid enough to think she was dead. I wasn’t stupid enough to think no one was behind all of this. I knew damn well she was still out there. And as long as she was out there, I was going to devote time to trying to find her.

The day Amelia disappeared, I broke down in front of Dawson after our son, Mateo, had fallen asleep. I stayed broken, in a depressive state for two weeks but then I got my shit together. Yeah, I wasn’t the same as before. How could I be when I lost my person? How could anyone expect me to be perfectly fine and act like I didn’t lose her? That was insane and impossible.

I did pull myself together for the sake of Dawson and Mateo. They needed me to be apart of their lives and I couldn’t start neglecting them. I took a job offer from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. It wasn’t the DMN but I needed this job. They all made me feel welcomed and was instantly hired as a staff photographer, something I wasn’t entirely trusted to do at the DMN. They valued me and my work and my editor was the sweetest. It was a good place to start and get back into doing what I loved. The only thing I hated about it was the forty-five minute commute but I refused to move to Fort Worth. I wasn’t ready to give up my city view just yet and thankfully, Dawson understood.

My boyfriend, the love of my life, the only man who can make my heart skip a beat has been the most patient man in the world. He’s been considerate and doesn’t push me to do anything he knows I can’t handle right now in my state of mind. He helps as much as he can with Mateo when he comes home from work. Now that I commute to Fort Worth, Shelly watches Mateo every day with Ron and Brett on the ranch and I pick him up before we head back to Dallas. I just love seeing how happy Mateo is on the ranch and it makes me wonder if Dawson and I will ever have one of our own. Probably not. His family are the ones who run the business, not Dawson. Maybe when he retires from the Navy.

I took it upon myself to get my shit together and be strong for the sake of not only my family but Amelia’s family as well. See, if anyone is taking the disappearance of such a strong woman harder than me, it’s Jayden. Him breaking down the way he did the day police officers gave up broke my heart. I had never seen him so weak and vulnerable before and I hoped I would never have to see him like that again. That was the day I suggested he move back to Dallas, to be closer to Dawson and I but he gently declined. He decided to move to St. Pete, because it was Amelia would have wanted for their family and her family agreed to keep an eye on him and help when he needed it.

Did I mention Tori felt horrible about the entire situation and agreed to move to St. Pete herself with Lincoln? Well, she did. She moved in with him about a month ago and honestly, I was relieved that she did. She was able to find a job in Tampa and decided to help her brother through this.

The person who really broke my heart because of this was Lincoln. I had never seen my nephew so lifeless before. He was always energetic, talking my ear off and trying to get me to play with him. When he was told the news about Amelia no longer being around, he cried in my arms for hours, only calming down by falling asleep from exhaustion. The following morning, in such a weak and lost voice, he told me about how much he loved Amelia, about how she really was his mom. “She was always smiling, Aunt Bel. Always telling me how much she loved me. When she said yes to being my mom was the best day of my life. I was looking forward to living with her and dad but now that’ll never happen. I don’t even remember if I told her I loved her the last time I saw her and if I didn’t then I hate myself for not saying it.”

My poor nephew really beat himself up for being so far away and not getting to see Amelia enough. Everyone was grieving in their own way, which is why I couldn’t afford to grieve. I was keeping it together for everyone. It was the only way things would go back to normal. I was doing what I did best. Putting everyone before myself.

When Brooke invited me to St. Petersburg, I agreed to go, not knowing what she wanted me to come over for. When I landed, I left the terminals and headed to baggage claim, grabbing my luggage before I went to Enterprise so that I could pick up my rental.

As I walked through the different terminals, I didn’t really pay attention to my surrondings. I typically zoned everyone out which is what I was doing right now. I had my headphones in, listening to my good ‘ol ‘Broadway Oh Broadway’ playlist. Today was one of those days where Amelia was heavily on my mind. Every memory I had with her was replaying with every Hamilton and In The Heights song that came on. I was in my own world, ignoring the real one but mine shattered when I caught a glance at a face I would never forget. Amelia.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I couldn’t believe that Amelia just walked past me, heading to a gate in this very terminal. Call me crazy for knowing this woman was Amelia. A normal person would have looked at her once and not given any thought to her being my best friend. She changed certain features. She colored her hair, kept it longer which blew my mind because she loathed long hair. She looked thinner and that sent me into a panic. Who are you with, Amelia?

Deciding my rental could wait, I dropped my luggage, leaving it in the middle of the walking space as I turned around and ran after my best friend. I know it’s you, Amelia. Don’t even try denying it.

I didn’t think I could make it to her fast enough. I felt like my heels were slowing me down. Get a grip, Anes. This isn’t the first time you’ve ran in heels. Pushing myself forward, everyone around me began fading out again. The only person I was focused on what the dark hair colored woman only a few feet away, looking around for something. Or someone.

Time stood still with my final strides to her. By now, the only thing I heard was the click-clacking of my heels against the floor. I took my headphones out, needing to fully be in this moment, needing to hear her voice.

Next thing I knew, my arms were wrapping around her thing and fragile body. I held her close, burying my face into her neck as I began to sob, refusing to let her go, refusing to catch a breath. I received stares from people passing by but I didn’t care. I found you. Where were you, Best Friend?

“Amelia,” I said more weakly than I anticipated. “I found you. I know it’s you. What the hell, best friend? Who’s behind this? You're not leaving us again. We need you. I need you. I fucking love you.” I broke. All the emotions I had pent up since her disappearance were finally being released from the box I put them in. This, this is also how I knew this woman was my best friend. I was never this vulnerable with anyone but her. “You're coming home with me. I don't care what anyone has to say or threatens to do, you're coming with me right fucking now."

 

[Lexus]

Tampa, Florida
Amelia​

Three months passed since I left my “perfect” life behind. The truth was, after months of panic realizing what my life was turning into, I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t recognize myself. I was turning into someone I knew pleased everyone else in my life, but the woman I was turning into, was everything I told myself I didn’t want to be. At least not so soon. I still had my whole life ahead of me and I wasn’t ready to accept that I was going to be a wife and a mother with nothing else left to offer. The truth was, I fell in love with Jayden, he made me feel safe and wanting to take in his son, not long after, he was asking me to marry him and then to his surprise and my horror, we were going to have a daughter. When motherhood proved itself to be overwhelming in our isolated bubble in D.C. we agreed to move home. Home. The last place I told myself I wanted to be when I made my plans of who I wanted to become. But when I fell in love with Jayden everything changed, everything was happening so fast, I couldn’t get a grip on myself long enough to comprehend what was happening. I told myself I was happy, that the life I had was the same one so many others prayed for. I wanted to believe that it was okay for plans to change and for Lincoln and Isabel to be my world, that wasn’t a wasted life, but I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it was the life I wanted. What no one knew, not even my best friend, was that I wasn’t happy.

The feeling of displacement, as much as I tried to brush it off, continued to nag away at me until I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. This isn’t the life I wanted. While Jayden worked the night shifts to protect the streets, I cried in agony at how unhappy I was, while trying to lull our newborn daughter to sleep. I didn’t resent my daughter, she was and always would be the most precious thing I ever laid my eyes on. I would still lay down my life for hers without a second thought, this wasn’t her fault and I never wanted her to think that. When I thought about leaving, most of my hypothetical plans involved bringing her with me, but in my spur of the moment dash, I couldn’t bring myself to do that to Jayden. He never got the chance to have firsts with Lincoln, I wanted him to have those special moments with her. I knew they would be Jayden’s saving grace when he realized what I did to him. I knew he would be heartbroken, but I prayed he would be given the strength to move on. I needed him to. He deserved better than me, the woman who ran at the thought of building our perfect life together.

While I knew I wasn’t happy for months before I actually made the decision to leave everyone I loved behind, I left before I originally planned. I agreed to go to Texas because I knew that would be the last time I saw my best friend. It was my final goodbye. That night on the rooftop of the Statler, overlooking the Dallas skyline, it took every ounce of my mental endurance to not break and tell Isabel my plan to leave when she asked if I missed journalism.

Yeah, that’s why this is the last time we’re going to see each other because I can’t be what I want to be with what Jayden wants us to be and I don’t have the heart to tell him this isn’t me.

I couldn’t tell Isabel though. I knew it was selfish of me to leave everything and everyone I knew behind to start over and not be someone I felt I wasn’t. I knew If I told her she would destroy herself trying to get me to change my mind, plead for me to stay, even force me to stay, try to convince me I could be happy in the life I was living, that my career could be salvaged, but I knew it couldn’t. It would be too much of a strain on my relationship with both Jayden and the kids. There was no balance.

As unlike me as this all sounded, I knew I needed to do this for myself. I needed to explore my opportunities, the ones I worked my ass off for up until I met Jayden and he threw my life into a lovely lovey dovey spiral. As I laid next to him that night, my mind was racing with all the thoughts of who I was becoming and who I never had the chance to be and I snapped. I panicked. I had to get out, I couldn’t be in this life for another second, I wasn’t going to leave until Jayden and the kids were settled, all together as one, but I couldn’t pretend anymore, so I left.

I took the rental car and abandoned it a few miles from the airport, left everything that could trace me to being Amelia, that meant then my engagement ring and the necklace Lincoln gave me when I promised to be his mom. Taking them off I shed a few tears, holding them in my sweaty palm whispering an apology to both Lincoln and Jayden I knew they would never hear. I thought seriously about staying, about putting the car in drive and slipping back into my sister’s like this never happened, but I knew if I didn’t go now I never would.

Hitching a ride with someone else who was on their way to the airport, claiming my husband was on the way to get the truck, I booked a flight to California with the cash I deposited in small amounts over the past few months, not wanting to cause suspicion, and took a job as a staff writer at the L.A. Times under an alias I bought over the dark web, my CIA job came in handy it turned out. My new name was Camilla Anderson. Camilla was on her way to climbing the ranks at the Times and was eyeing a potential job in South America as a correspondent. Things were finally heading where I wanted them to, I was happy with who I was, but I was paranoid and guilt-ridden for what I had done and the people I left behind. As distant as I wanted to be, I couldn’t stop thinking about Jayden and what I was missing with Isabel and Lincoln. The only thought that validated my decision was I knew they deserved better than me and I hoped they would find It. I hoped Jayden could let someone else into his life, into his kids lives, they deserved a mother that wasn’t me.

Eventually, though, my self-reassurance wore itself off and I just had to know what they were up to without them finding out I was heartless enough to leave them for myself. So, on a whim I hoped I wouldn’t regret, I booked a flight back home to St. Pete, knowing Jayden made the move there because I checked his social media pages from time to time, just to check in. Whenever I read his posts dedicated to the woman he loved in hopes she was still out there somewhere to be found, I cried myself to sleep. I never deserved him.

Stupidly, I flew there and staked out my sister’s house when I knew she would be there, hoping to catch a glimpse of the family I left behind, but after one day of it, I realized how stupid and risky it was and booked the first flight back to California.
I thought once I made it back to the safety and broadness of the airport terminals I was safe from being found. Once I moved to California, I knew I couldn’t look anything like the woman I left behind so I let my hair grow out, dyed it an ugly shit shade of brown, and completely changed my wardrobe. I thought no one would recognize me, I was wrong.

Searching for the terminal back home, I gripped my boarding passes and ID in my hand, stopping to catch the direction of my gate when I felt arms wrap around me and I went into defense, pushing the unknown away from me, before I turned to face her. Oh no. Please no. Don’t let this be happening. Please, God. I was stupid for coming here. I never should have done this.

It was Isabel. My best friend, the woman I named my daughter after before I left them both in my dust, expecting them to move on without me, together. At first, I just stood there, having not a clue what to do, but I knew I couldn’t give into her grieving pleas. I couldn’t go back to the life I hated. It was too late for that and I knew if she knew the truth it wouldn’t make sense to her. Lie. It’s not you. Shit. You can’t. She’ll recognize your voice.

I thought about pretending to be mute and walking away in confusion, but I knew I couldn’t do that, not after seeing the pain I caused her gloom her eyes. It clenched my stomach and made me want to throw up my heart, there was obviously nothing left of it.

“Isabel stop, please,” I whispered, sounding almost irritated, in actuality I was trying to keep my composure with her in front of me.

“I’m not going back there with you, I can’t.” Trying to turn away from her, I hoisted my bag back on my shoulder, biting my lip when she grabbed me not letting go.
“Stop! Let go! No one’s keeping me, okay? I left.” I confessed, looking at her, hoping she could see the truth and sadness in my eyes for betraying her, for betraying everyone.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Amelia’s hostility towards me made sense. Everything began making sense as the gears in my head began to turn, putting all the puzzle pieces together. She left.

See, in my head, this is what I’m thinking. Of course Amelia left. Now, with her standing before me, confessing to me that she did, it all made sense. In my state of grieving, I was too much of a fool to even think the police officers were right. I thought I knew my best friend well enough to know she would never leave, but it seems I didn’t know Amelia as well as I thought. I failed at being her best friend because during my own emotional roller coaster called life, I didn’t realize how unhappy Amelia was. I didn’t notice the change in her attitude now. I didn’t realize the day of my showcase, her being so close, us leaving the room wasn’t her showing her support. No, that time was for her. It was her goodbye.

As everything came together in my mind, I couldn’t do anything but give Amelia a blank stare, tears slowly streaming down my cheeks with every memory breaking in my mind. She left you. She left all of you. Red. The blistering color of red was all I saw the more I thought about the truth. I was angry, no, more than angry, I was livid. This woman standing before me wasn’t who I thought she was. She wasn’t my best friend.

The scoff came out before I could even stop it, shaking my head back and forth while I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to collect myself. Then came the laugh to mask what I was really feeling. I saw confusion in Amelia’s expression as I continued to laugh but when I finally calmed down, I sighed, looking utterly defeated before the woman I thought I would never lose.

“Of course you left. Of course you fucking left. Now it all makes sense. You were so unhappy with who you became that you ran away. You ran like a fucking coward,” I never talked to Amelia like this but then again, I have never been so livid with her before in my life. “And of course you’re here, in Tampa, waiting for a flight to leave because you’re running away again.”

I tried to collect myself again before I continued but right now I didn’t care about sugarcoating my words. I wanted her to feel pain. I wanted her to know how shitty this was of her. I wanted her to know she broke me, she broke Jayden and Lincoln. One day, she would break my mini me too. She broke all of us because she was unhappy, because she didn’t like the woman looking back at her in the mirror. I know that feeling. I know what she was going through because yes, this life, where she and I were, were not where we wanted to be at this age. We were still young. She missed journalism. She missed helping people and wanted to become that international correspondent I knew she would be someday. I just never imagined she would become something so great after leaving behind the people who would do anything for her. I never thought she would just up and leave me. Guess I didn’t really know who you were, huh?

“I have to go get back to the life you left behind for something much greater apparently. Pick up the mess you created,” I swear, my voice was dripping with venom, “But before I go, I assume you wanted to see how Jayden is doing, right? I can only assume you know he moved here after he lost you and that’s what brought you here. The guilt became too much for you to handle so you thought it was okay to come just get a glance. Well ya know what? You don’t. You don’t just leave someone the way you did and get to come back to check on how they’re doing. It isn’t fair. You don't just leave the people you love behind because you're unhappy with who you are.” The tears kept streaming and my voice started cracking from the anger. “You know as well as I do Jayden would have let you go if you would have just talked it out with him. He would've done whatever it took to make you happy, to let you be who you are. When things get tough, Amelia, you don't get to just run away. But let me put everything into perspective for you. You broke him. You broke us, all of us.” A laugh, a shake of the head. “Jayden will never love someone again, Lincoln’s gone mute and beats himself up constantly over not knowing if he told you he loved you the last time he saw you, and me? Well, I went insane, fell into a depressive episode and pulled my ass right back out of it because someone needs to be strong for everyone else. So there you have it. Everyone’s still pretty beat up over it but I think with time everything will be good, well, as good as it gets without you around.”

Inhaling, I looked away from my best friend, a woman I didn’t know anymore, before I exhaled. I was building up the courage to leave. Despite all the shit I just spoke, I needed to hold her one last time before we went our separate ways again, probably forever, despite being pissed with her, so that’s what I did. I hugged her, not letting go when she tried to push me away again.

“Stop. This is my goodbye since I didn’t get one last time. As your best friend, I hope you live the best life you can. I hope you succeed in the field and become the badass correspondant I know you can be. I hope you surround yourself with people that make you happy because you deserve to be happy. I can handle everything here so don’t come back unless you’re going to stay. Don’t come back unless you’re ready to admit to your family what you did. Maybe when that day comes, they’ll let you back in but I can’t speak for them.” Pulling away, I put up the biggest smile I could form. It was weak, lacking meaning and over all pathetic, “I’ll always love you. I gotta go.” Turning around to leave, I walked away from the terminals, grabbing my luggage where I had left it, trying to pull myself together. I put in my headphones, changing my playlist to something more fitting for my mood as I continued walking away from my best friend, leaving her to live her best life while I put everything she left behind back in order.

No one would have ever thought Amelia left. No one would ever know she did. I wasn't planning on telling a soul I saw her at the airport, that she started another life without us. That was information only I needed to know. Goodbye, best friend. Thanks for all the great times we spent together.

 

[Lexus]

Tampa, Florida
Amelia​

I knew Isabel would feel dilapidated by the truth, but I couldn’t take the lie anymore with her standing here. I wasn’t going to lie and play victim, in the very least, I had to own up to her. I also knew her counter would be brutal, I also knew I deserved it. I tried to brace myself for it, but I was too soft for Isabel’s wrath. You broke her. You broke the one promise you told her you would keep in your moment of selfishness and now you’ll never get her back.

I was hurt, devastated even, but I had no right to express my sensitivity towards Isabel’s stinging soliloquy when I brought it on by my own despicable behavior. The thing that frightened me the most about what I had done was that even with one of my victims standing in front of me, I lacked regret for leaving. I was sorry I turned her world upside down, leaving her to feel like she had to pick up the shattered pieces of my absence, but not regret.

I had a twinge of understanding left in me that told me, I was losing myself. Putting my career before those I was supposed to love, but towards the end, I couldn’t feel love, all I harbored for them was resentment and disappointment that they were incapable to see through my façade. You’re a coward, Amelia.

I knew Isabel was right, I shouldn’t have left the way I did, but when you feel as lonely and isolated as I was, complying, doing everything I was capable of to make everyone else happy, I thought they were better off believing I was dead. If they knew the truth, it would feel like I was dead to them anyway.

I wanted to have the last word. I wanted to tell Isabel Lincoln had told me he loved me, the morning he left from meeting his sister, he took me into the tightest hug and told me he loved me. I wanted to tell her I believed in time, Jayden would love again. He was worthy of the kind of love he thought I was. I wanted to tell her I trusted her to be to my daughter what I was too afraid to be, even though I shouldn’t expect her to be that involved in her life. I wanted to tell her, I never did deserve her but I always tried to make it work, despite all our differences because she was truly the most remarkable person I ever met. But, I didn’t deserve the last word. After everything I put her through, I wanted her to walk away feeling she said all that needed to be said, an ounce of peace in Hurricane Amelia. That was the last time I let myself go to Florida. I vowed if I ever were to return, it would be on someone else’s terms.

​

 

[isax]

Dallas, Texas
Jayden​

An entire year had passed since the light of my life had gone missing. Over the year, I was able to pull myself together for the sake of our children. I needed to stop wallowing in my own misery and be there for them. They lost their mother and I needed to be their father. They needed me just as much as I needed them.

After spending about three months in Saint Petersburg, I came to the conclusion living here in Florida, without Amelia, wasn’t what I wanted. I moved here because I wanted to keep Amelia’s spirit alive for as long as I could but I knew I couldn’t do that by being unhappy for the rest of my life. So I made the decision to move back to Dallas, the place where it all began.

I know moving back to Dallas sounds irrational but I needed to be closer to people I knew would help me through this. I needed my kids to be closer to them too. Really, moving back to Dallas, living close to Isabel and Dawson was one of the best decision I could’ve made for my family. Isabel took on the role of best aunt for both Lincoln and Isabel May. She took them out whenever she could, inviting us over for dinner when she had the chance to cook. I was more than sure Dawson was annoyed with me being over everyday but he didn’t mind. He enjoyed it just as much as I did. We hung out, drank some beers when we had the chance. My best friend and his wife kept me grounded, pushing me to do all I could for my family.

I took on the day shifts at the station I previously worked at. I was given my spot as Lieutenant right on the spot, and I accepted it happily. I enrolled Lincoln at the best middle school in the Dallas Independent School District and he was excelling perfectly. He grew a profound love for STEM, more the Science part than the others. His biggest interest lately was astronomy and studying the stars. He never told me why he took such an interest to this aspect of our solar system, but I loved his rambles of what he learned all thanks to his teacher and the books he had been reading at the school library. I never saw him so passionate about something before. We were also able to find a baseball league he could join and keep up with. He loved the game and I wasn’t going to stop him from playing.

Isabel May was doing just fine. She was healthy and on track with where she was supposed to be right now. Getting her vaccines was a struggle, poor baby cried the entire time and I wished I could do so much more to take her pain away. She was crawling now and boy did she love doing it. She has gotten so fast that it become difficult trying to keep up with her. Over, Amelia and I created a beautiful daughter and watching her grow up hurt. I wanted her to stay a baby forever. I wanted her to always be my little girl.

I was doing much better now that I made the move to Dallas. After being told there was nothing more the officers in Saint Petersburg could do, I broke down, automatically wallowing in my broken heartedness. I never felt a pain like that before in my life. I felt like my heart was taken out of my chest, thrown on the floor, and stomped on. I felt like I lost a part of me and I did. I lost the only woman who ever made me feel safe. The only one who pushed me to be the best version of myself. The only one who made me the happiest man alive. She was everything I wanted and more but every time I thought about her disappearance, the words ‘not wanting to be found’ stuck hard. I didn’t want to think the officers were right. I didn’t want to believe that Amelia would actually leave us behind, breaking all of us in the process. I beat myself up every day about it, wondering if I could have done something to prevent her from disappearing, wondering if I truly made her happy, wondering if I was moving to fast for her.

The kids and I went through the normal routine when I woke them up. Lincoln got dressed for school then dressed his sister afterwards while I was in the kitchen, whipping up the usual pancakes and eggs for he and I. I dropped off my son at school, telling him I loved him before I drove to Tori’s house, leaving her to watch and care for Isabel May since she worked from home before heading to the station to clock in. Nothing about the morning was off but I’m a fool, a clutz when put in intense situations. I regret not taking a second to breathe.

Everything happened so fast. I was patrolling my beat, thoughts drifting off to Amelia here and there while I did. The only thing that brought me out of my daze was the call from dispatch, the call that changed everything from here on out.

Dispatch called a 19 in progress. Normally I wouldn’t rush to the scene but this one was different. This time children had the potential of being harmed. A shooter made his way into a department store, not having any specific target but wanting to cause harm. I reacted irrationally in that moment as I turned my car around, flipping on the lights and sirens as I drove to the scene, alerting dispatch that I was on the way.

When I arrived, I threw my car in park, jumping out as quick as I possibly could. I was the first person on the scene and I should have waited for backup, but again, I lose all common sense when children are involved.

I rushed into the department store through one of the many entrances, carefully analyzing the situation as I stood by the door. I was quick to spot a family of four laying on the ground, hiding as best as they could from the active shooter. I wasn’t stupid enough to move from the door when I had no other form of help but I was stupid enough to forget the most vital form of protection I needed in this moment. I held my gun held up, my hand tightening around it as I spotted the shooter. I needed to pull my trigger but I couldn’t react fast enough. When I heard the glass doors behind me open, I knew backup finally arrived. I felt a hand on my shoulder to reassure me I wasn’t alone but I pushed officer Bellinger out of the way when I heard shots being fired.

Pain spread throughout my body in an instant, my eyes immediately closing shut as I cried out from the intensity of it. I fell to the ground, leaning against the glass window as I cussed silently, raising my gun up at the shooter. I wasn’t strong enough in that moment to pull the trigger. Bellinger was the one who did the final blow needed. I was hurt and I knew by looking at my leg and stomach, the healing process wasn’t going to be easy.

I put a hand on my abdomen, a little below my heart, blood immediately coloring it red. I felt light headed and dizzy, not really able to comprehend how two bullet wounds could cause so much pain. Little did I know the bullet that hit my abdomen broke a rib, fracturing another into tiny as fuck pieces. The bullet to my leg tore right through my muscle. I didn’t realize how much damage was done at the time of the scene because after losing enough blood, I fell unconscious.

In my unconscious state, I scolded myself for being so stupid. How could you forget your fucking vest, Acciolli? I was so pissed off for putting myself through this, for putting my kids through this, but most importantly, for putting Amelia through this if she really was out there. See, the only thing that calmed me during this state was the thought of her, the thought of the love of my life, the woman who was supposed to be my wife. All I could think about was her. Amelia, I’m sorry. Please forgive for me. I love you.

 

[Lexus]

Dallas, Texas
Lincoln​

Sixth-grade has been the hardest grade so far. I knew my dad was proud of me because I only made A’s and B’s, I loved science and math, they were easy to me, kinda like drawing, they just made sense. I wasn’t so good at English and History, they were hard and boring and took way more time to do the homework. I hated writing papers and reading the textbook, but I never asked Dad for help because I knew he wasn’t good at them either, not like Mom, according to Aunt Bel. Dad also had too many other things to do. He was a police officer who protected strangers and us from people who did bad things, it was his job and it made him tired when he came home at night.

Besides that, my little sister took most of his time, but I didn’t mind, she was just a baby and I did everything I could to help Dad with her. Sometimes, when Dad falls asleep on the couch at night, I take her from the playroom into my room and show her all the pictures of Mom that hung on my walls and on the dresser. Telling her about the memories in each picture, telling her all about our Mom. I felt it was something I had to do because it hurt Aunt Bel and Dad too much to talk about Mom. No one knew what happened to her. She just disappeared. Her family tries to say she’s dead, like my first Mom but I don’t believe them because she doesn’t come to visit me in my dreams like my other mom does. I still believe Mom is out there somewhere and I want my sister to know all about her when she comes back. I’m not sure why she left us, at first, I was upset with her for leaving, for not telling Dad or Aunt Bel where she went. I thought it was my fault. That she thought maybe I didn’t love her enough to stay with Dad. I stayed up at night praying to my Mom in heaven to tell Amelia I loved her, that Dad and Aunt Bel needed her to come home. I wanted her to know I wasn’t mad at her if she was scared to love us. She was the best mom and my sister deserved to know the kind-hearted Mom we had. I still prayed for the day she came back to us. Like Aunt Bel said when I wanted Amelia to be my mom and to live with her, Dad and my sister, I had to have faith. I had faith that if I continued to ask my Mom and God to bring Mom home to us, she would come back one day.

Sixth grade was hard, not because of school, but because nothing was the same without Mom. Everyone was so different. We moved once to Florida, and then back to Texas where Mom and Dad went. Aunt Tory said Dad needed to move here because he would feel closer to Mom since that’s where all their happy memories were and Florida made him upset because it reminded him of what happened to Mom. Because it was what was best for dad, I didn’t object. I wanted him to be the same again, or at least try to be. I didn’t recognize him but I was too afraid to tell him that, it would only make him more upset than he already was, so I just didn’t talk to anyone at all, I didn’t want to make them upset. I didn’t want to be a burden. But I missed Mom and I wanted to talk about her, I was afraid if I didn’t, I would start to forget her like I did my other mom. That’s why I put all our pictures up on my wall, so I could remember her face and talk to her when Dad wouldn’t hear me.

One day, I overheard Aunt Tory yelling at Dad, telling him I was growing up too fast. I wasn’t sure what that meant or why she would say that, but I got angry with her for it because it threw my dad right back into his sad mood. I didn’t know what to do to fix it, but after that, he promised me, he would always do his best for my sister and me and I hugged him. Telling him how much I loved him, like I wished I would have for Amelia before she left us.
I really believed my dad when he promised me he would always be there. I knew he loved me and Bel and I believed he was a hero for protecting people he didn’t even know. My dad was a real life superhero, but even superheroes can get hurt without their armor.

When Aunt Bel picked me up from school instead of Dad or Aunt Tory, I was confused at first, but when she looked at me, I knew something was wrong. I saw that look twice before.

“What happened to Dad?” I asked in the middle of the office, in a panic, running out, feeling my chest hurt, I didn’t know what this was, but it happened a lot when I got upset since Mom left. I didn’t know what happened, but I knew something was wrong. Dad was hurt. Letting myself cry, My chest still hurt, I ran right for the car. I needed to see Dad. He needed me. I was al he had left.

When Aunt Bel caught up to me, grabbing my arm, I pulled away from her.

“What happened? Did he die? You can tell me.” You promised you wouldn’t leave.

Before she could answer, I wrapped my arms around her, needing her hug. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend it was Mom. I usually didn’t cry, but I couldn’t help it this time. I already lost my moms, I couldn’t lose my dad too, not now.

“I’m scared, Aunt Bel. I wish Mom was here,” I said through my tears, trying to catch a breath. “Dad promised he would stay, he promised!”