Opinion Am I a horrible person?

[Latios]

I feel like I need to face the facts... I am a horrible person socially.

And I don’t mean that I’m just not good at talking to people. No, it looks to me like it’s much more than that.

This is something that I’ve started to notice ever since I moved to TN 4 years ago. And it starts with my oldest and best friends. These friends I have know since birth. I literally have a pic of us since we were babies. I love these guys and they have provided me with great fun during my childhood. We did tons of things together back in the day. But lately I’ve felt extremely divided among them...

Now that I live in TN and not NY anymore, we don’t meet face to face often. However with the magic of texting we can still talk. I do see them once a year however. However, it seems like when I text them they don’t get back to me as fast as they used to. I can see their online status yet no response for a good solid couple of days. It usually comes down to spamming them now to get their attention.

But this isn’t the worst of it. I went to NY a few days ag as saw them. For the last month my computer has had a problem that I needed fixed. They helped me build this computer so surly they could help me fix it. When we see them they are having a party. I patiently wait for them to get done hanging out with their friends after explaining my problem. They said they’d help me later during the party. The time passes and I keep waiting. Eventually they finally come around to helping me when one of their friends makes a suggestion to head over to their house. Without hesitation they go over... leaving me at their house alone now with my problem not fix. And before they come back I have to leave to go back to where we are staying in NY.

This was the last nail in the coffin for me. After seeing these reactions to me from them I feel like they want nothing to do with me anymore. And I don’t know if it was I who pushed them away or something else.


Now it’s not just this that makes me think I’m a horrible person. For the 4 years I’ve been in TN, I don’t have 1 single “best friend.” Sure, I’ve talked to people at school but I don’t hang out or anything, or have long conversation with them. No, am an absolute loner here in TN. On top of that, I seem to manage to piss off people online once a week without meaning to.

All these instances make me think it’s me who’s just awful at being a person. I’m lonely and the only people I talk to either are pissed off at me or too busy trying to do other things that don’t involve me.

So I’ll say it again, is this me?

 

[Daisie]

Oh, Latios... I'm really sorry your friends did that. From the situation you described, no. You're not the crappy person here. I don't know WHY they ditched you, but whatever the reason, it would have been far more mature of them to talk to you about their issues directly. It would have been polite and more easily handled that way. They were at fault, not you.

I'll be honest, as I've talked to you, I've noticed your inability to read certain social situations, but I've also noticed your strengths in other areas, as well. And either way, whether you're good at reading social situations or not, I still think you're genuinely a good person at heart.

 

[Latios]

I guess I'm just sick of how often I push people away or anger then that I'm beginning to feel that these instances are all my fault

It's just that... I'm lonely. I'm a very lonely person a lot of the time. Nearly every second of my time is spent alone at home with nobody to really talk to. It's beginning to become a little depressing for me and seeing my best friends want to spend less time with me only adds to that

 

[Daisie]

I guess I'm just sick of how often I push people away or anger then that I'm beginning to feel that these instances are all my fault

It's just that... I'm lonely. I'm a very lonely person a lot of the time. Nearly every second of my time is spent alone at home with nobody to really talk to. It's beginning to become a little depressing for me and seeing my best friends want to spend less time with me only adds to that

It sounds like you've had bad luck when it comes to friends - I get how you feel, there was a period in my life where I practically gave up on the idea of friends, and was okay with being a loner. I've had my fair share of bad friends. But the greatest feeling is when you find that group of people who love you for who you really are. It could take a long time, but sure enough, it'll happen eventually, and it's worth the wait. You'll find a few people you know for a fact you can really trust.

You gotta also make sure your friends will be straightforward with you instead of leaving it up to social cues, like what you explained before. Good friends will understand your difficulty in that area and will be sure to communicate with you better because of it. If they have an issue, instead of throwing hints at you that you can't pick up and then suddenly leaving, they'll have to be honest, straightforward, and tell you right off the bat what's wrong. Not because you're "bad", but because you're just different.

You actually remind me a lot of my brother, who has the exact same issue - the inability to read social situations. It causes a lot of the same problems you've described here. You're definitely not alone in how you feel. ❤

 

[FlyingDemon]

But this isn’t the worst of it. I went to NY a few days ag as saw them. For the last month my computer has had a problem that I needed fixed. They helped me build this computer so surly they could help me fix it. When we see them they are having a party. I patiently wait for them to get done hanging out with their friends after explaining my problem. They said they’d help me later during the party. The time passes and I keep waiting. Eventually they finally come around to helping me when one of their friends makes a suggestion to head over to their house. Without hesitation they go over... leaving me at their house alone now with my problem not fix. And before they come back I have to leave to go back to where we are staying in NY.

I don't think you're a bad person, i think they weren't good friends,
and of course, they had time to help you with the computer if they were only at the party (a more important thing would be excusable).

leaving you like that was un-acceptable from them, they should have offered a solution to help you, or recommended someone who could help you, really not leaving you alone..

 

[Sinnama]

It's not that they hate you or that you're a horrible person. Your group of friends just moved on with time, keeping relationships face to face is much easier than over the phone for example. They probably assumed that you moved on as well and only kept in touch every once in a while, again I'm not sure how frequently you talked to them. I'd say it's best to open up to them physically, not over text and see their reaction. Either way, it's best to move on yourself and find some new people to call friends.

This is just my opinion, by the way. Hope it helps in some way.