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Fantasy The Land Of The Rising Sun (CS Thread)

Kitsune's have their own version of a "fire" but its really spiritual energy given form. Kistunes are the only ones capable of this ability as well.

Besides demons of course. Which are almost entirely spiritual in nature

So you're telling me I have to be some half animal thing, or some demonic being in order to use some fancy nature?
 
Name: "I am Sir Lancelot of the Lake."

Fucking liar, he's just Walter.

Appearance:

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No, wait, I've got a better one. I'm sexy and that's true!"

ARMORED

"I've got looks that can kill in bed."

horseless_knight_by_althwen.jpg


UNARMORED

"Just who is that handsome devil over there? Oh wait, that's me."

cahir___the_witcher_s_team_by_evolvana-d9lk7k1.jpg


Nicknames:

"My fellow Englishmen simply call me the Black Knight."

Nah, the English actually call him the Lord of the Wankers when he's out of earshot.

That's not all, Walter has many names for people of different kingdoms. It's too bad he isn't aware of them because he doesn't realize how these people repeatedly insult him behind his back. If only if he could just speak their language then he would be more apt to take his revenge on these suckers.

To the French, he is known as "Il qui bouffe les queues".

To the Italians, he is known as the Destructive Savior.

To the Slavic peoples, he known as the Nightmare.

To the Church, he is known as the Godblade.

To the peoples of the Middle East, he is known as the Peace-loving Murderer.

To the Indians, he is known as the Fastest Sword in the West.

To the Chinese, he is known as the Violent Tourist.

Age: "Nearing the prime of my manhood, a solid 32 years of age."

Gender: "I'm not just a man, I'm superman."

Male.

Species: "I'm a little mermaid."

Haha, I love this guy already. Walter's human if you were wondering.

Appearance description/extra details:

"Any significant features? Black hair. Green eyes. A few scars on the side of my face after being sliced by a sword. There's nothing much besides that except if you count a tattoo in the shape of a cross on my chest."

Personality:

"I joke a lot most of the time, it helps keeps the stress away. I deal with a lot of shitty people in my time, angry knights, jealous siblings, obnoxious pagans, by-the-book priests, corrupt clergy, to name a few assholes I bump into regularly. I spent days fantasizing about killing them right on the spot, but I'm not allowed to just kill them off like that, so I've got to be creative. That's why I delight in torturing them by mocking them and watching their reactions as I slowly tear them apart with my words alone.

"On the job, I like to kill people, it's my passion. Well, I don't do it all the time, but I do it when I'm excited. I've got to get riled up before I get into a really violent bloodbath, but once I'm in the thick of it I become some sort of a party animal. Few people can match the level of pain I dish out when I'm in the field. This eagerness towards bloodshed has earned me little friends and a whole lot of enemies, but at the end of the day most people would rather have a war freak like me on their side.

"Am I religious? Of course I am, I believe in the glory of our Almighty God and the existence of a rebellious devil and an eternal struggle between good and evil over the souls of men. Personally, I think I am an evil man fighting for a good cause. My sins will probably never be forgiven but I don't really care because I know my good works will save more men than I ever killed. Am I deluding myself a little? Yes, but allow me to be vain for a while, I think I've deserved it, darling.

"Do I regret killing so many people? No, I never have and never will regret it. Every man I faced died with dignity. Some fought for themselves. Some fought for their families. Some fought for their kingdoms. But each man that dared face the violent champion of the Christian army fought with courage. They gave their lives willingly, and I shall treasure the lives I took. If I ever regret taking their lives, I believe I will do them an injustice. Because I will shame their sacrifice when they gave everything they had just to fight me.

"I've always had a passion for war, and I've solved most of my problems with the tip of my sword. People are often shocked that a holy warrior of the Church could be so dependent on violence when Jesus relied on the message of peace. I say that peace does not exist, at least not in this world. Some men fight with swords, some men fight with words, but it's all the same to me. Peace is an illusion and there will always be war. And when evil gets on my doorstep, I'll be ready to kill whatever devilry is in store for me with my sword in hand.

"I'm Lord Walter and I'm gonna kick your ass."

Abilities:

"As you know, I'm an expert swordsman and I'm pretty decent with all other types of European weapons. I'm a good unarmed combatant but I'm not that great since that's not my forte. I'm surprisingly good at throwing stones and I'm super accurate in my throws. I can lead about a 100 men with little to no problems at all, but when the number starts to get higher my competence decreases dramatically."



Weaknesses:

"My weakness? I'm addicted to killing people. Yep, biggest weakness I've got. Other than that, I'm pretty intolerant of most cultures and I would most likely kill any pagans in sight. I often can't speak the local language and I'm unwilling to learn it anyway."

Backstory:

"My name is Lord Walter, a champion of the Christian warriors of the bloody Northern crusade. To the vile pagans and heretics, I am simply known as the nightmare that destroys all hope. To my fellow Christians, I am known as the godblade that strikes fear into the hearts of sinners. The good Lord God has bestowed on me the gift of violence and I, the good Christian, have taken full advantage of this gift by using it for the greater good.

"Now, I'd like to tell you what happened during my childhood, but we haven't got the time for that now. My story begins at the age of 21, when I was recently knighted by Lord Adamar Falco, my father. I was his favorite child of his three sons and his four daughters. The funny thing is that I was the illegitimate one, the bastard of the family, and every single one of my siblings was jealous that I received all the attention.

"It was a proud moment for me and my father on the day I was knighted, and this accomplishment of mine made my half brothers and sisters green with envy. The next day, one of my older brothers and his gang of thugs took their swords out and wanted to start some shit with me. The fool wanted to kill me right then and there, and he would have succeeded if one of the servants didn't toss me a sword in the middle of the fight.

"Long story short, I killed my brother and his whole retinue while I fled into the woods. The whole shire was in an uproar, I had committed a massacre, a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. Search parties have been sent out to catch me, but every time they found me I just simply fought them off at first. I would have become an outlaw for the rest of my life if my father, Lord Falco, came with his armed knights and brought me this ultimatum. I was to redeem myself by joining the Northern crusade against the pagans and the heretics in the East or I was going to die ignoble death at the hands of my own father.

"I decided that I'd take my chances with the pagans and for five years I have participated in numerous campaigns against the pagan Slavs in the Northern crusades. When my time was up and my sins were forgiven I came home back in England only to find my father dead and my siblings ready to kill me the moment I came back. So I killed them all and fled the country, fled the continent and kept running all the way to Asia.

"This is the shortest summary of my story. If you want to learn more about me then you better ask me specific questions, mate."


Equipment:

"A full suit of knight's armor. Complete with plate armor, mail armor over most parts of my body and I've got a leather padded jacket underneath all that. Aside from all that, I've got a large dueling shield and a bastard sword as my weapons. That's all I've brought."


*Extra:
"I'll let you know when I've got some more for ya."

*Quote & Theme Song:

"When life sucks, stab life in the face with a bastard sword while laughing like a madman."

-Lord Walter, the best Christian ever

Medieval Music - Draig Llofrudd (Metal Version)

 
Last edited:
CS Sheet- (*= Optional)

First Name:
魔 Reijingu 魔
Appearance:
19AD9A8B-9310-4715-A0AC-D96443793881-12479-000016701E37F6C5_tmp.jpg

Name:
レイジング・デビル
Reijingu debiru

Age:
23

Gender:
Male

Species:
Half-Demon

Appearance description/extra details:
Black flowing hair, Torn outfit, Gaping hole in his chest, Red eyes, Blood covered gloves

When not using Killing Intent:
Hair and outfit is the same, Blood is gone, Gaping hole in chest is hidden, Eyes are blue


Personality:
He disregards everyone's lives and emotions and will destroy anyone who gets in his way. He likes a good challenge during a fight. If they are weak, he will kill them instantly for they are not a true challenge. Reijingu is fueled on rage and can not be sated.

When he hides the Killing Intent energy, he is peaceful and will act friendly towards others. He is good hearted and can be friends with anyone when hiding his true form. He will still enjoy a good challenge but will unleash his Killing Intent if he must fight.

Abilities:

Cannon:

Kills or knocks out his opponents quickly

Killing intent:
Does not hesitate to eliminate his opponents with lethal means if he/she was not a challenge

Ki Energy:
Can fire concentrated balls of Ki Energy at opponents to damage them and use it to propel himself during an uppercut and do more damage.

Terror:
His appearance induces terror naturally



Weaknesses:

Made of Glass:
Can not take as many hard blows than someone else.

Inhuman:
Lost his humanity and is now filled with killing intent, making everyone his enemy who does not like killing or do not wish to be killed. (Unless he's hiding the Killing Intent of course)




Backstory:

Offspring of a Demon and Human couple. His life as an infant was surprisingly very dull. His parents never payed much attention to their child and only came to feed him and give him a nap at the very most.

His parents were brutally murdered by a man covering his face, in his mid-50s. Albeit the child was to young to know what was going on, so it didn't shock him or scar him for life. The man took the child and from then on he blacked out.

He raised the child until he was 9 years old and then taught him martial arts. It started small at first with only basic punches and kicks. Then teaching him things like uppercuts and ki energy. They continued this for 5 years

Once he reached the age of 14 they would begin to train in channeling Killing Intent energy. He would get more powerful the more he channeled it, turning his eyes red. Eventually the former half demon child would have only some of his humanity left in him and would now have the desire of utter destruction.

After 6 full years of channeling the evil energy. The man was ready to teach him his final lesson. They both stood in a fighting stance, eyes staring in to the other's. They began basic punches, kicks, and grabs. Then they proceeded to move to more intense moves, uppercuts, fireballs, and others.

They both received many scars. The man lost his eye, purple flames erupting from it's former position. The boy; Reijingu, had received a scar from a fireball which hit the middle of his chest.

At last, when the battle was over, the man was on his knees. The man looked up at Reijingu, purple flame erupting from his right eye. The boy raised his fist and sent it through the man's chest, killing him instantly.

He tossed the body away, covering his gloves in blood. He never wished for a life of violence, but it belongs to him now, it's his burden and his strength. He decided he would hide this dark energy until he has to battle, using the rest of his humanity to enjoy the remains of his normal life. He will be peaceful and will not use Killing Intent.

But when he must use his power...

THE PLANET WILL SPLIT IN TWO!!!


Equipment:
Martial Arts

*Extra:
None

*Quote & Theme Song:

Battle Theme:



Appearance Theme:


Winning Battle Theme:
 
Last edited:
CS Sheet- (*= Optional)

First Name:
魔 Reijingu 魔
Appearance:
View attachment 296834

Name:
レイジング・デビル
Reijingu debiru

Age:
Early 20s

Gender:
Male

Species:
Half-Demon

Appearance description/extra details:
Black flowing hair, Torn outfit, Gaping hole in his chest, Red eyes, Blood covered gloves

Personality:
He disregards everyone's lives and emotions and will destroy anyone who gets in his way. If they are weak, he will kill them instantly for they are not a true challenge. Reijingu is fueled on rage and can not be sated.

Abilities:

Cannon:

Kills or knocks out his opponents quickly

Killing intent:
Does not hesitate to eliminate his opponents with lethal means if he/she was not a challenge

Ki Energy:
Can fire concentrated balls of Ki Energy at opponents to damage them and use it to propel himself during an uppercut and do more damage.

Terror:
His appearance induces terror naturally



Weaknesses:

Made of Glass:
Can not take as many hard blows than someone else.

Inhuman:
Lost his humanity and is now filled with killing intent, making everyone his enemy and having no allies except for those who are filled with the same killing intent as he is.




Backstory:

Offspring of a Half Demon and Human couple. His life as an infant was surprisingly very dull. His parents never payed much attention to their child and only came to feed him and give him a nap at the very most.

His parents were brutally murdered by a man covering his face, in his mid-50s. Albeit the child was to young to know what was going on, so it didn't shock him or scar him for life. The man took the child and from then on he blacked out.

He raised the child until he was 9 years old and taught him martial arts. It started small at first with only basic punches and kicks. Then teaching him things like uppercuts and ki energy. They continued this for 5 years

Once he reached the age of 14 they would begin to train in channeling Killing Intent energy. He would get more powerful the more he channeled it. Eventually the former half demon child would have no humanity left in him and would only desire utter destruction.

After 6 full years of channeling the evil energy. The man was ready to teach him his final lesson. They both stood in a fighting stance, eyes staring in to the other's. They began basic punches, kicks, and grabs. Then they proceeded to move to more intense moves, uppercuts, fireballs, and others.

They both received many scars. The man lost his eye, purple flames erupting from it's former position. The boy; Reijingu, had received a scar from a fireball which hit the middle of his chest.

At last, when the battle was over, the man was on his knees. The man looked up at Reijingu, purple flame erupting from his right eye. The boy raised his fist and sent it through the man's chest, killing him instantly.

From then on, to this day, he looked for worthy opponents to test his strength and satisfy his urge to kill. If he cannot find someone strong enough to fight, he'll just kill everyone until that person shows for him. When he's done HE'LL SPLIT THE PLANET IN TWO!


Equipment:
Martial Arts

*Extra:
None

*Quote & Theme Song:

Battle Theme:



Appearance Theme:


Winning Battle Theme:

Ok ok. So pretty good. Just a few things.

First is age. Like I said, no "arounds" or appears to be" exact age.

Second off (and this is a big one), he is not a demon that is out to kill everything and everyone. In fact, even demons arent completely like that. If you wanna make him a vicious fighter with a penchant for murder and violence thats fine. But there is more to a sentient being than nust that. Give him some more character.

Third, is history inconsistencies. So according to the history, he is a....quarter demon? Since one of his parents was already half? Might be a mistake. In the history it said he can use fireballs...thats a no. No fireballs. This is only IF he is a quarter demon. "Ki" abilities are fine but dont expect much damage out of them.

Also, just a disclaimer, if he gets cut apart he will still die. I hope thats clear. He doesnt have armored skin or anything and is as vulnerable as any other human being by the looks of him. Keep that in mind
 
Ok ok. So pretty good. Just a few things.

First is age. Like I said, no "arounds" or appears to be" exact age.

Second off (and this is a big one), he is not a demon that is out to kill everything and everyone. In fact, even demons arent completely like that. If you wanna make him a vicious fighter with a penchant for murder and violence thats fine. But there is more to a sentient being than nust that. Give him some more character.

Third, is history inconsistencies. So according to the history, he is a....quarter demon? Since one of his parents was already half? Might be a mistake. In the history it said he can use fireballs...thats a no. No fireballs. This is only IF he is a quarter demon. "Ki" abilities are fine but dont expect much damage out of them.

Also, just a disclaimer, if he gets cut apart he will still die. I hope thats clear. He doesnt have armored skin or anything and is as vulnerable as any other human being by the looks of him. Keep that in mind
Cut in half?

Is another RPer going to PK my character by cutting him in half or something?
 
Cut in half?

Is another RPer going to PK my character by cutting him in half or something?
It was an example. Cut, beat, shot, burned, whatever. From the way you described him, he is as human as can be other than in offensive capabilities. So if someone (with a decent amount of strength) punches him in the face....its gonna hurt and you'll have to acknowledge the fact that it did do some damage
 
It was an example. Cut, beat, shot, burned, whatever. From the way you described him, he is as human as can be other than in offensive capabilities. So if someone (with a decent amount of strength) punches him in the face....its gonna hurt and you'll have to acknowledge the fact that it did do some damage
Yeah, it's called painRP, I know.
 
Yeah, it's called painRP, I know.
Uh....no not that. Its called your character doesnt have any supernatural defenses so I dont wanna see a "person stabbed me but Im a demon so rawr ignore it and kill u" type of situation.

Not saying you'll do that but I am giving you the heads up. Anything that would hurt or stop a human applies to you too. Thats all.

Now, the other issues if you dont mind?
 
First Name:
Suzume Shiroi-Kūdō

Appearance:
kate-fox-evolution.jpg

Name:
"Sparrow White-hollow", Suzi.

Age:
147

Gender:
Female

Species:
Kitsune (One tail)

Appearance description/extra details:
To the far left is her fox form, a little unstable with recent shifts in the world's magic. Even in her fox form, her ears are pierced. Worry not, Suzi does wear more than just the vest. At all times she has a knit brown poncho/shawl with a fluffy, scar-like neck and more often than not, a simple cloak to help hide her tail and ears. She also keeps a small pouch and a dagger looped around her sash/belt.

Personality:
Suzi is gruff but not uncompassionate. Rather than the typical mysterious enchantress of hearts, quite young in the world and alive long enough to have gotten control of her powers for only a short time before the world went weird, she is merely trying to survive in her newly weakened state and is of the ilk that the world is slowly but surely changing- and not in her favor. Suzi can be quite pessimistic and cold, making her good days more relieving than sun and summer after a blizzard. If she has an idea or something to contribute to a conversation, she’ll rarely say it unless it’s pointing out a flaw in someone else’s words. Suzi’s grand scheme is: don’t call attention, don’t rise above the crowd. Ignore the world and the world will ignore you.

Abilities:
-Weak flames: She still has some of her fire, but it’s not hot enough or long-lasting enough to boil water. More akin to wisps than actual flames, these little blue lights are dim at best and short-lived. Sometimes, on a really really good day, she can keep one going long enough to make herself a small campfire.
-Change forms: At will, Suzi can become a black fox, other than its color and size an animal not entirely out of the ordinary, thanks to her having only one tail.
-Some night vision/speed and dexterity: Standard Kitsune things. She favors speed and nimbleness and usually sleeps during the evenings, though.
-Makes fantastic tea.
-Survival sense: Out on her own, Suzi can hold up pretty well against the elements, able to hunt as a fox, find water, ect.

Weaknesses:
-She is a horrible swimmer and afraid of water. During a thunderstorm, she will refuse to go outside for more than a minute.
-Blunt and cold: Suzi making friends takes a lot of work, hence she has spent most of her life as a loner. Working with others can be tough and contributing to a team is like pulling teeth.
-Magic, of course- Suzi is still adjusting to these changes and oftentimes gets her into tough situations by overestimating how much power she actually has access to.

Backstory:
The first decade of her life, Suzi spent her time calling a remote shrine her home, one the humans lost the way to long before she arrived. Life was lonely but far from boring for the young kitsune as as every day she traveled further and further from the shrine, exploring her new surroundings. She had no parents, no friends to call family, and no place to call home but for the shrine.Three more decades passed quietly, Suzi slept for most of it.

When she was 32, a girl hiking with her parents came upon the napping kitsune and awoke her.- the girl’s parents were looking for the girl as she’d strayed from the path to the old shrine. While her parents called the girl’s name, Suzi had a friend! The two played for hours, odd for the kitsune but she impressed the girl with small acts of magic and amusement. Finally, as the day ended and the parents were going home distraught, Suzi guided the girl down the mountain back to her parents and just before letting her loose, a nagging voice told Suzi to do a little magic on the girl, something to make her forget.

But she didn’t. And the girl ran into her relieved parents arms as Suzi watched from the bushes. The girl went on and on about a “girl with ears and a tail and blue fire!” but the parents didn’t believe her.

After that, the years drew on again with little variation. She hid under the shrine when it rained and covered her ears when it thundered with a few bowls that had been left in the shrine that she kept out to get water. When it was dark, she hunted, and when it was light she practiced her magic.

That was all.

One night, she fell asleep and when she awoke, 100 years later, the world had shifted.

132, Suzi found herself in the same shrine, vines having grown over her, the grounds in disrepair, a budding village not far away, with a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. A few weeks of practicing confirmed it: Her magic was depleted. She felt strange, and not in a good way, and had to start all over again…

She found her way to the village nearby and with the guise of her fox, begged for scraps. One villager tossed the “dog” a blanket in the rain. Taking her two-legged form, the next day she went into town with that wrapped around her waist as a kind of skirt to hide her tail. She’d put her ears hidden beneath a large bun. From there, she begged, then got a job, then bought enough for a simple traveling life and left. She’s set off searching the world for answers: where has her magic gone? Is it others too? What caused it? ...Can this be fixed?

For a while, she was an apothecary, then a librarian, then a scholar, then, just starting to settle down in one city with a large library that gave her plenty of knowledge of the time before her years, Suzi left. She’d taken an apprentice to help her study what texts they could find on the demons and on magic. The apprentice put two and two together and discovered what Suzi was. The kitsune panicked, packed up, and left.

Equipment:
Cloak: A heavy-weight cloak that can provide protection from the winter, rain, and snow. It’s quite large and sweeping, just big enough that, if pitched, it can double as a one-person tent.
Shawl: Knit of a lighter material, Suzi has found she prefers this over any sort of shirt. She is too poor to buy a kimono.
Satchel: holds a few coins, a canteen, some food for the road, a flint, a tinder wad, a heart-shaped stone from the shrine she grew up in. She keeps a few herbs for healing basic illnesses- sore throat, runny nose, cough, infection, upset stomach. A pouch of tea. A small bowl for cooking over a fire. A notebook and ink set.
Belt: belt has a sheath for a small knife. The blade is 6 inches long and kept well.
Scarf: Thick-knit and comfy, she often uses it as a pillow.
Scroll: A small, well-kept scroll telling the story of Waking Light.

*Extra:
-Will silently judge a person based on how well they can make tea.
-Will vocally judge a person on if they can manage to burn the tea.
-Has quite some trouble writing.
-Scared of being trapped anywhere- underground, in a cage, in a house.
-For a decades-old being, Suzi is not all that reverent…
-Bit of a clean freak. She doesn’t take well to those who haven’t had a wash.

*Quote & Theme Song:
“There is a fine line between worrying for someone and pitying them. Don’t cross it.” -something I had another character of mine say once...





(Let me know if anything needs changing!)
 
I had some coffee and haven't stopped typing for half an hour ;---;

Well, there's a reason why I can't just type. There are people behind me when I'm typing up in my laptop since we share the same room. And I'm afraid they're looking at my posts. I know they aren't looking, but I feel that they're looking.

Oh, and I kind of hate them too. So it's just hard to post in front of them.
 
Well, there's a reason why I can't just type. There are people behind me when I'm typing up in my laptop since we share the same room. And I'm afraid they're looking at my posts. I know they aren't looking, but I feel that they're looking.

Oh, and I kind of hate them too. So it's just hard to post in front of them.
Hahaha!

When I hate people, I threaten them with bodily harm! They don't talk to me after that, and give a wide berth of space: exactly what I was hoping to achieve with them!

It's good to tag in a brute in your place sometimes, for things like that.
 
When I hate people, I threaten them with bodily harm! They don't talk to me after that, and give a wide berth of space: exactly what I was hoping to achieve with them!

xD that's hard to do if you have to deal with the person EVERY day. Like today... I have someone that infuriates me constantly and I just wanted to punch him in the head all day. lol
 
Hahaha!

When I hate people, I threaten them with bodily harm! They don't talk to me after that, and give a wide berth of space: exactly what I was hoping to achieve with them!

It's good to tag in a brute in your place sometimes, for things like that.

Nah, they're family. I know they're good people and they love me, but... I just can't find a way to love 'em back. It's really awkward to be in the same room with the people you can't have some peace with. First of all, nagging, they don't do that often but the very possibility of having someone talk you down is enough to terrify me every day. Second of all, I don't trust them, because whenever I share my feelings with them something ugly happens. Thirdly, well, I basically view life as pretty worthless if I have to deal with a problem that I think I can't solve.

I don't have the courage to face this, and well... I've accepted that I'll carry this emotional baggage for the rest of my life.
 
xD that's hard to do if you have to deal with the person EVERY day. Like today... I have someone that infuriates me constantly and I just wanted to punch him in the head all day. lol

I will admit, I am a bit of a sociopath at times, and openly let people know my negative opinions of them. At that point, I have ceased to care that I meet them every day, because I am simply waiting for a reason to deck the guy right then and there.
 
xD that's hard to do if you have to deal with the person EVERY day. Like today... I have someone that infuriates me constantly and I just wanted to punch him in the head all day. lol

If I am really pissed off, well, let's just say that I can assert myself just fine.

But when someone just ticks me just a little bit? My response is usually to pretend it never happened or to cower in a little corner at the side...
 
I can totally feel all of that. xD I settled it by telling him that he could kiss my ass and he didn't know what to say after that so I had a good laugh. rofl
 
I will admit, I am a bit of a sociopath at times, and openly let people know my negative opinions of them. At that point, I have ceased to care that I meet them every day, because I am simply waiting for a reason to deck the guy right then and there.

Ah, you're a lucky one. Most of the time, I'm nice to other people, partly because... that's somewhat innate in my nature and partly because that's what I've been doing this entire time so I don't know what else to do except be nice.

But when it comes to family? I just numb myself.
 
Nah, they're family. I know they're good people and they love me, but... I just can't find a way to love 'em back. It's really awkward to be in the same room with the people you can't have some peace with. First of all, nagging, they don't do that often but the very possibility of having someone talk you down is enough to terrify me every day. Second of all, I don't trust them, because whenever I share my feelings with them something ugly happens. Thirdly, well, I basically view life as pretty worthless if I have to deal with a problem that I think I can't solve.

I don't have the courage to face this, and well... I've accepted that I'll carry this emotional baggage for the rest of my life.

I don't know how to help you man. I am generally confrontational, and at times incredibly aggressive. Usually, this is between myself and 'friends' and the only thing that stops me from inflicting bodily harm is the fact that they are people too, they probably have ajflakgdas;gahjghaglkjgh, and dahfjakslfhds. I would suggest bringing up this issue, but you said that 'something ugly happens.'

I don't know man. I'll come up with a solution later for you then.
 
I don't know how to help you man. I am generally confrontational, and at times incredibly aggressive. Usually, this is between myself and 'friends' and the only thing that stops me from inflicting bodily harm is the fact that they are people too, they probably have ajflakgdas;gahjghaglkjgh, and dahfjakslfhds. I would suggest bringing up this issue, but you said that 'something ugly happens.'

I don't know man. I'll come up with a solution later for you then.

Nah nah, it's not that serious. When I mean that something ugly happens, they just give me a verbal beatdown...

And the verbal beatdown they give is more like helpful advice than cursing and yelling and all. And most of the time, they do give me a shouting or two but it's really my fault. But it's been happening so much that I've really lost trust in my family and I see no hope of improvement... when it reality all I have to do is just... grab my bootstraps and stand up.

It's just a few hurt feelings that I haven't really faced up to until now.
 

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