World Building WIP Idea... Constructive criticism welcome! ^_^

[InsistentPatchwork]

Check further down for the more updated version!

Hey all! Im just playing around with some world building, and would just love some constructive criticism and or advice. There is a bit of info. And I want to stress this is rough rough draft hahaha, so its nowhere near polished! I don't have a crap tonne worked out at the moment but just wanted to throw it out there for feedback! Thank you in advance to any help I appreciate it! Kind of nervous to put this out there as I haven't world built in a bit hahaha (nervous laughter) But please! give it a look and let me know!!

• Ebura

• • Info
  • Magics
  • Guilds/Factions
  • Creatures
  • Map

  • Fantasy "Advanced" Medieval. Has basic technologies such as Electricity but no electronics such as phones, laptops, tv etc. Is a land among the world that is the most explored/inhabited.
    Capital of the land is known as "Wakefield" it is one of the largest cities that is based on the coastal region.
  • • Generational
    • Possessive
    • Contracted

    • Generational is magic that someone is born with, passed through DNA and Genetics. This is the most common type of magic across Ebura. Generational Magic is a stable form of magic. Its power can be increased through the generations as it is practiced but can also decrease as the generations no longer use it. Discontinued use would end with the magic being lost and possibly unable to be recovered.
    • Possessive Magic is a magic that comes from within an arcane focus that the user possess. This is the second most common form of Magic within the Land of Ebura. A focus could be among many things such as a crystal ball, to a small jewel on a necklace or even a set of jewels embedded into the hilt of a sword. Often these focuses require a phrase or word set to unlock the power for the wielder to use which is kept secret from others. A focus is also one of the most unstable variants of magic as its vessel could perhaps only hold it for so long until the power burst out causing harm to those around. A focus also has the possibility of "dying" as if all its power has faded away.
    • Contracted magic is as the name implies. Magic that is given to the user through contract. This is one of the rarer magic types throughout Ebura. The User gains their power through another being who they are in a pact with. This may be some kind of Angel, Demon, Fae, Spiritual being. The power one receives comes at a price in which the contractor and contracted come to an agreement to on their own.
  • • Merchants Guild
    • Mercenaries
    • Swordsmen
    • extra

    • The Merchants Guild is a company that holds a large portion of control over the docks throughout Ebura. They are responsible for a majority of the Lands shipments of goods, ranging from produce, to ores and minerals, fabrics and further items.
      The guild although a "company" is made up of many businesses who work together for a mutual beneficial relationship that provides easier trade, better values and finer goods. This is all done under the major businesses influence within the guild. Using their power to control flow of goods for other businesses who may not be apart of the Guild or support them.
      
    • The Mercenaries Guild is a wide variety of individuals often found in most cities of the Land who are hired swordsmen. They can usually be found in a Mercenary Guild owned tavern within the cities as a second source of income for the guild. The taverns houses a varying number of members depending on the size of the city who are up for hire. These men and women can be hired by anyone for any kind of job, going from hired guards to the dirtiest of jobs such as intimidation on behalf of the merchants guild. The towns they reside in don't often meddle in the affairs of the Guild as they pay their tax so a blind eye is turned.
    • The Swordsmen Guild is what the academy of the Lands army is referred to. Here is where the rookie troops spend their first enlisted year for training. The training extends to swordsmanship, archery training, horse back riding and others of such need. After the year they would be sent out to different cities and towns to do field work that ranges from town guards to highway patrol guards. Fulfilling their orders they could then be called to join the ranks of the armies for potential war, battles or expeditions for monster hunting that could happen within Ebura.
    • There will be other guilds but i want them to be player made for that added fun!
  • Ebura is a land full of many creatures. Hostile to domesticated, small to giant. (I plan to compile a small list of creatures for people to know what may be. This would go on to show some that may be found domestically to wildly to then some rarer creatures)
  • If anyone knows an easy to use (preferably free) map making app/software anything to just do the basics really please let me know!

 

[Chxrry_Bxmb]

˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :;
↳ ❝ I think that it's very good for a rough draft! You certainly use the BBCode well! ¡! ❞​

 

[nerdy tangents]

1. Technology.
So out of curiosity are you just using Medieval to mean a specific aesthetic? Or do you mean the actual time period?

As Electricity would put you closer to the Victorian era.

Also bonus you would be on your way to a flushable toilet (if you follow real world advancements, more on that below)

So by the time electricity was a thing we already had basic refrigeration, elevators, and indoor lightning (albeit less efficient).

For the toilet you could utilize your magical creatures (I am assuming this also means magical plants) and create composting toilets. Just a toilet that has some kind of critter/plant product in it that removes waste.

You can also replace “electricity” with just animal/plant specific conveniences. For that matter you could tie “magical crafts” into your focus magic.

ex. Indoor lighting could be the result of bioluminescent magical plants that open at the sound of a switch OR they could be magical lights that you open by doing a specific action.

And if you explain your technological advancements this way you can basically cherry pick the technology you see rather than just kind of going based on what would be available at any particular time period.

 

[Beckoncall]

InsistentPatchwork :

Need a map utility?

Google "INKARNATE" -- the base version is free, intuitive, and fun to use. I can give you advice with it also.

 

[InsistentPatchwork]

Thank you all! I havent ignored the comments, I have been busy with life and doing more writing in my spare time. Will be posting an update in a bit

˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :;
↳ ❝ I think that it's very good for a rough draft! You certainly use the BBCode well! ¡! ❞​

Thank you! I struggle for BBCode but this is the extent of it atm bahahaha

1. Technology.
So out of curiosity are you just using Medieval to mean a specific aesthetic? Or do you mean the actual time period?

As Electricity would put you closer to the Victorian era.

Also bonus you would be on your way to a flushable toilet (if you follow real world advancements, more on that below)

So by the time electricity was a thing we already had basic refrigeration, elevators, and indoor lightning (albeit less efficient).

For the toilet you could utilize your magical creatures (I am assuming this also means magical plants) and create composting toilets. Just a toilet that has some kind of critter/plant product in it that removes waste.

You can also replace “electricity” with just animal/plant specific conveniences. For that matter you could tie “magical crafts” into your focus magic.

ex. Indoor lighting could be the result of bioluminescent magical plants that open at the sound of a switch OR they could be magical lights that you open by doing a specific action.

And if you explain your technological advancements this way you can basically cherry pick the technology you see rather than just kind of going based on what would be available at any particular time period.

Thank you for this! I have gone over a few basics for tech!

InsistentPatchwork :

Need a map utility?

Google "INKARNATE" -- the base version is free, intuitive, and fun to use. I can give you advice with it also.

Thank you! I am currently using this! its really fun to do!

 

[InsistentPatchwork]

UPDATE
Again all critiques/advice welcome! Just don't be rude about it really XD

• Ebura
• Magics
• Guilds/Factions
• Creatures
• Map

• • Info
  • Technology
  • Class System
  • Places of note
  • Inhabitants

  • Ebura is a vast land of the world and isn't the only land out there, but it is the focus... The capital of Ebura is Wakefield.
    
    Currency
    1 Platinum Coin - 10 Gold Pieces
    1 Gold Piece - 10 Silver Pieces
    1 Silver Piece - 10 Copper Pieces
  • Instead of modern day technology things are done through means of magic and/or use if plants/animals. For example- The home of someone could be lit up via some means of light magic or fire. It could even be some form of bioluminescent plant or fungus. Some fungus even glow when they are tapped by someone and can be tapped again to “turn off the light”.
    
    - Instead of phones people are able to communicate via so many ways. Telepathy for instance, it has become a recent thing where two rings or necklaces are enchanted and linked allowing direct immediate connection for the wearers to talk. It is a lot more common between partners to be used but isnt uncommon between friends.(edited)
    - Transport - As far as transport goes walking is a popular choice for short distances. Other choices for longer distance may include a mount. Mounts can vary from a horse to a giant dog or cat to a giant elk. Anything that can be saddled can be used as a mount. Carriages are also a form of transport used, some are drawn by animals or even bewitched to drive itself. Even objects like brooms or carpets may be bewitched for flying for transportation.
    
    as long as it can be justified you can use it. Be creative!
  • Monarch/Patriarch - Only those of the Royal blood hold the position of Power, So in this Instance it is the Queen who is in charge of the land
    Aristocrats - Nobles - Wealthy
    Knights
    Merchants - Farmers - Craftsmen
    Peasants
    no slaves because no.
    
  • Wakefield - which is the capital of course, one of the most populated surface cities there are.
    
    The Mint -
    Coins of the land of Ebura are forged deep within the mountains by a race of Dwarven Smithers who have passed on the knowledge of how through the generations. The mint is heavily fortified. Naturally its fortified by the mountain it is encased in. But also within, the mint is surrounded by the Dwarven made traps and doors, pathways leading to dead ends made to confuse any potential raid. Anyone who has ever managed to make it to the mint has never returned. The workers of the mint have their own laws. The laws state any intruder will be thrown into the fire of the forge for their crime. This however doesn’t mean people haven’t been inside for work. People have but it always ends up with them affected by a deep old magic. It comes active once you leave the mountain. The effects of it are that the memory of the place and its inner working are no more. This affects all, no matter the spell, spell bound armour or mentality of who has left. Even the crowning family is affected. It is said that those of the Dwarves who were once workers and left for retirement also forget the secret to forging the coin. The origin of the old magic is of speculation within the land. One theory is that an old mage who helped stoke the fire of the ever burning forge cast it himself before leaving to discover more of the world. Another is that the forge itself made of magic ore holds the magic itself and causes such a reaction.
    
    The City of the Underlake - Under the lake that runs partly through Ebura resides a large underwater city in which it house a majority of the Sea humanoid population. Some of these cities are domed in which the water is expelled out causing it to be liveable for those who cannot breathe underwater
    
    More places to be added such as small villages but these are the basics
  • Humans - found all over
    Dwarves - all over but more found in the mountain areas
    Elves - all over but more found in the warm north east
    Swamp Dwellers - found more in the swamp areas, often called as such because they don't tend to leave the swamps. Can be any species
    Aquatic species - anyone who can live under the water in the underwater cities - water filled or not.
    
    This isn't the whole lot of species but its just the basic ones for now i guess, anyone would be welcome.
• • Generational
  • Possessive
  • Contracted

  • Generational is magic that someone is born with, passed through DNA and Genetics. This is the most common type of magic across Ebura. Generational Magic is a stable form of magic. Its power can be increased through the generations as it is practiced but can also decrease as the generations no longer use it. Discontinued use would end with the magic being lost and possibly unable to be recovered.
  • Possessive Magic is a magic that comes from within an arcane focus that the user possess. This is the second most common form of Magic within the Land of Ebura. A focus could be among many things such as a crystal ball, to a small jewel on a necklace or even a set of jewels embedded into the hilt of a sword. Often these focuses require a phrase or word set to unlock the power for the wielder to use which is kept secret from others. A focus is also one of the most unstable variants of magic as its vessel could perhaps only hold it for so long until the power burst out causing harm to those around. A focus also has the possibility of "dying" as if all its power has faded away.
  • Contracted magic is as the name implies. Magic that is given to the user through contract. This is one of the rarer magic types throughout Ebura. The User gains their power through another being who they are in a pact with. This may be some kind of Angel, Demon, Fae, Spiritual being. The power one receives comes at a price in which the contractor and contracted come to an agreement to on their own.
• • Merchants Guild
  • Mercenaries
  • Swordsmen
  • extra

  • The Merchants Guild is a company that holds a large portion of control over the docks throughout Ebura. They are responsible for a majority of the Lands shipments of goods, ranging from produce, to ores and minerals, fabrics and further items.
    The guild although a "company" is made up of many businesses who work together for a mutual beneficial relationship that provides easier trade, better values and finer goods. This is all done under the major businesses influence within the guild. Using their power to control flow of goods for other businesses who may not be apart of the Guild or support them.
    
  • The Mercenaries Guild is a wide variety of individuals often found in most cities of the Land who are hired swordsmen. They can usually be found in a Mercenary Guild owned tavern within the cities as a second source of income for the guild. The taverns houses a varying number of members depending on the size of the city who are up for hire. These men and women can be hired by anyone for any kind of job, going from hired guards to the dirtiest of jobs such as intimidation on behalf of the merchants guild. The towns they reside in don't often meddle in the affairs of the Guild as they pay their tax so a blind eye is turned.
  • The Swordsmen Guild is what the academy of the Lands army is referred to. Here is where the rookie troops spend their first enlisted year for training. The training extends to swordsmanship, archery training, horse back riding and others of such need. After the year they would be sent out to different cities and towns to do field work that ranges from town guards to highway patrol guards. Fulfilling their orders they could then be called to join the ranks of the armies for potential war, battles or expeditions for monster hunting that could happen within Ebura.
  • There will be other guilds but i want them to be player made for that added fun!
• Ebura is a land full of many creatures. Hostile to domesticated, small to giant. (I plan to compile a small list of creatures for people to know what may be. This would go on to show some that may be found domestically to wildly to then some rarer creatures)
• In Progress!

 

[InsistentPatchwork]

forgot to say Religion stuff is being worked on, its just bigger to work on then I previously thought bahahaha