Looking for WHY CAN'T I FIND THINGS I LIKE????

[Murdergurl]

So I dont know what my deal is... but I just seem to find myself in this frustrated limbo of not being able to find what I'm interested in. And I don't just mean in RP (because my interests on here never seem to appeal to/be hosted by anyone). I try and read books, and I can't find anything that interests me there either. Movies/series??? yeesh! don't even get me started on the hours I've lost just scrolling and scrolling through streaming services and finding nothing appealing. And I've been on a hard search for a video game for the last 4 months or so with nothing to show for it but some misspent money on Steam. Sometimes I think of going back to drawing stuff... but I cant find the motivation whenever I actually do have time to do it.

And I just really dont know what to do anymore. I'm TRYING to give one thing a rest and chill and relax and look into other hobbies. But I can't write or draw, I cant find movies to watch, I can't even find a video game to chill with (as I have made exemplary in THIS thread) . So like... what the fuck? Why is it so hard to find things that I like?

I dont know what it is, but for whatever reason I feel like my interests are always on the outs of whats popular. And it is SO difficult for me to find the things I'm into.

Let's take comics for example. I'm totally NOT into Marvel and DC. My go-to comic interest is the Predator stuff by Darkhorse. But finding Dark Horse comics is tricky enough, much less the specific Predator series. I have gone to like 90% of the comic book stores in my town and none of them readily carry these. Now, I know I can just search and order the comics over the internet. But thats not really my point. I don't actively and regularly seek out these comics. It's more of a "if I happen upon a comic shop, I'll poke in and look to see if they have what I'm looking for" kinda thing. Alternatively, I also collect Conan the Barbarian and Judge Dredd comics. Big surprise! They arent really available, either.

So like... wtf? I feel like I'm perpetually just not going to be able to find my interests out there. And as the years have gone on, I find less and less "new" things appealing. So I'm really not looking to broaden my horizons. I want to find the things I'm already interested in, not sweep them aside for some kinda half-hearted substitute.

 

[Abyss]

Are you feeling depressed? I find that this is similar to how I feel when I'm struggling sometimes. It can feel very frustrating and very disheartening. Sometimes I have to come back and try something when I'm in a different mindset, because I'm just not in the right mood to enjoy something in particular. Although that said, sometimes finding that new thing that I do enjoy is extremely helpful in pushing through depression.

Something that helps me sometimes is to read negative reviews on things. If I really don't like something, it can help to know that I'm not the only one feeling that way. I guess it just sort of validates my feelings, which is sometimes enough to help me move on if something was especially disappointing. Plus, if someone has the same feelings about something as I do, I can always check out their more positive reviews to see if I'll like those things instead. Helps to broaden my search radius sometimes.

Another option that I might recommend is if new stuff isn't sparking your interest, try going back to search through some really old stuff. I sometimes like to try older video games. I find that there is a lot more variety and experimental ideas among PS2 games for example than what I'm seeing in PS3 and PS4 options. Whether it's books, movies, comics, I think that everything goes through phases and maybe you might find something you like by going back to explore what was popular then instead of now if none of the the newer releases are catching your attention. Also, I personally find that I'm more lenient when it comes to older stuff sometimes. I really enjoyed playing Devil May Cry 1 for example, because it was older and I enjoyed it more in part because it reminded me more of playing Zelda Twilight Princess when I was really little and know that I would have loved that game just as much if I'd also played it then. Also, I just really enjoy seeing how much games have changed over time. There were some really neat moments that I genuinely enjoyed just because they are still good as well. Same went for playing Yakuza Kiwami. It was a remake of an older PS2 game, so I went in with a more lenient mindset. Then it turned out that I absolutely adored the game! Alternatively, some games are fun to watch but not fun to play. It might be more interesting to watch some other people review or play some games which might end up building some of your own interest back up a bit (I do this once in a blue moon or so when I can't find games I'm interested in playing. Occasionally I stumble across something that peaks my curiosity). Oh, I also find that I tend to like a lot of older thriller movies than newer ones?

I know this might not be possible, but if you'd like, maybe try going to an expo related to your interests? Maybe you'll stumble across a table with something interesting or absorb some of the general excitement!

Oh, and one thing I find fun to explore is TV Tropes. Lots of fun trivia to read about and sometimes I end up discovering new games/movies/books by exploring the tropes, because I can always go find series/games/etc that include my favorite tropes because they list out examples where they appear in various media. (Some are really specific and others are more broad, so you can look for anything from general settings to specific character archetypes, etc).

 

[Murdergurl]

Are you feeling depressed? I find that this is similar to how I feel when I'm struggling sometimes. It can feel very frustrating and very disheartening. Sometimes I have to come back and try something when I'm in a different mindset, because I'm just not in the right mood to enjoy something in particular. Although that said, sometimes finding that new thing that I do enjoy is extremely helpful in pushing through depression.

lol. No. I'm fine. but thanks for asking. Life is fine for me, outside of not having a proper vent for creativity and/or relaxing. I am gainfully employed, have a place to live, my hubby is happy and in good health and so is my 4 year old son. Nothing to be depressed about. I'm just really frustrated with not having some proper activities to enjoy my downtime with.

Something that helps me sometimes is to read negative reviews on things. If I really don't like something, it can help to know that I'm not the only one feeling that way. I guess it just sort of validates my feelings, which is sometimes enough to help me move on if something was especially disappointing. Plus, if someone has the same feelings about something as I do, I can always check out their more positive reviews to see if I'll like those things instead. Helps to broaden my search radius sometimes.

Another option that I might recommend is if new stuff isn't sparking your interest, try going back to search through some really old stuff. I sometimes like to try older video games. I find that there is a lot more variety and experimental ideas among PS2 games for example than what I'm seeing in PS3 and PS4 options. Whether it's books, movies, comics, I think that everything goes through phases and maybe you might find something you like by going back to explore what was popular then instead of now if none of the the newer releases are catching your attention.

Doen that, already tbh. I have a hard time playing stuff from 15 to 20 years ago because they just seem so unpolished and clunky. Like, well... Mass Effect for instance. Or Spore. or the KotOR games. I have some retro games on my 3Ds that I try to play... but I get bored of them real quick.

Also, I personally find that I'm more lenient when it comes to older stuff sometimes. I really enjoyed playing Devil May Cry 1 for example, because it was older and I enjoyed it more in part because it reminded me more of playing Zelda Twilight Princess when I was really little and know that I would have loved that game just as much if I'd also played it then. Also, I just really enjoy seeing how much games have changed over time. There were some really neat moments that I genuinely enjoyed just because they are still good as well. Same went for playing Yakuza Kiwami. It was a remake of an older PS2 game, so I went in with a more lenient mindset. Then it turned out that I absolutely adored the game! Alternatively, some games are fun to watch but not fun to play. It might be more interesting to watch some other people review or play some games which might end up building some of your own interest back up a bit (I do this once in a blue moon or so when I can't find games I'm interested in playing. Occasionally I stumble across something that peaks my curiosity). Oh, I also find that I tend to like a lot of older thriller movies than newer ones?

I'm not so forgiving. I was a harsh critic even when I was younger. looking back on old games and even a lot of movies and such just makes me think, "man, how did I find this game so awesome? It's kinda whatever by my standards now." I find that the games of yesteryear are best enjoyed through nostalgia, because replaying them feels like you are playing some kind of underfunded indie game now. lol

Of course, there are some classics that can never be redone better. Conan the Barbarian was way better with Schwarzenegger than with Jason Momoa. Mad Max was better with Mel Gibson than with Tom Hardy (though I did thoroughly enjoy Fury Road), etc. But you have to understand that these favorite movies of mine, I've seen so many times that I could recite the lines to you. lmao

I know this might not be possible, but if you'd like, maybe try going to an expo related to your interests? Maybe you'll stumble across a table with something interesting or absorb some of the general excitement!

Would be a nice option... but I think we have like maybe an annual comic con in my town, and thats about it. And it only started being a thing like 5 years ago. There are literally two, TWO local gaming stores that cater to miniature painting and tabletop rpgs and such, and like 5 or 6 comic book stores are half of them are dinky hole-in-the-wall places.

Mostly, all my town has for entertainment is restaurants, bars, and strip malls. yuk.

Oh, and one thing I find fun to explore is TV Tropes. Lots of fun trivia to read about and sometimes I end up discovering new games/movies/books by exploring the tropes, because I can always go find series/games/etc that include my favorite tropes because they list out examples where they appear in various media. (Some are really specific and others are more broad, so you can look for anything from general settings to specific character archetypes, etc).

I'm a really big space opera buff. Space as a wild frontier, with alien species and starship battles and such. that being said, I don't care for the jedi and sith in star wars, and Star Trek is really stiff and boring. Battlestar Galactic is... just bad. and all the stargate Spin offs are the same if not worse. For whatevr reason, sci-fi televison series tend to be pretty terrible. I mean, have you seen the horrid catastrophe that is Lost in Space. The original was pretty silly, but the reboot they have going on is just...ugh.

 

[Jannah]

Sounds like you're just picky and have some niche interests. I have a similar problem with movies and TV shows. It's hard to find stuff I want to watch since stuff I'd actually really enjoy watching is never what's made. It's always the super popular stuff that companies know is going to appeal to a broad audience that gets made. This is why we have like ten million Marvel and Star Wars movies/TV Shows.

 

[Murdergurl]

Sounds like you're just picky and have some niche interests. I have a similar problem with movies and TV shows. It's hard to find stuff I want to watch since stuff I'd actually really enjoy watching is never what's made. It's always the super popular stuff that companies know is going to appeal to a broad audience that gets made. This is why we have like ten million Marvel and Star Wars movies/TV Shows.

I've been told as such before. but it's not like I can magically conform my interests to the flavor of the status quo, ya know?

Funny that you use Marvel and Star Wars, because I've actually used those examples myself when it comes to comparing my interests versus whats popular. Concerning comic book franchises, I've always been a Dark Horse gal. Now, I know Dark Horse eventually got bought by Marvel. But when I was interested in some of their comic book lines, they most definitely were not. Outside of Dark Horse, I also like some image stuff as well as some other, even more obscure brands. I'm not like gung-ho into comic books. But if we are talking about comics, that's where my interests lay. ...is it lay, or lie?

And with star War, I DO actually like Star Wars. BUT with a whole lotta caveats. Like, you cant just serve up anything Star Wars to me and I'm all for it. I actually DON'T like all the Jedi/Sith stuff about the franchise. Which, let's face it, is kind of the defining distinguished element of it. I dont really care about the whole "Force" thing, and honestly, what I like about it is just the whole Wild West Space theme. I could take it in generic flavor and be just as happy with it. If not more so.

My husband tells me I should be the change I want to see. In that, he means that I should write my own stories in the genres I wish were out there. But that's a lot of time and dedication, and my muses simply do not have that kind of endurance. Also, I'm not in any means even remotely close to being any kind of video game designer or programmer or anything of the sort. So my wanting a video game with the stuff I seek out is pretty much impossible for me to make contributions into. As far as RP, well... the problem with running ideas that aren't uber popular, is that you are less likely to get interested participants. And lets face it, RPs are hard enough to get going when they ARE popular themes.

I dotn even really watch tv shows. I waste all my time looking, and never find anything. With movies, I actually have to go back literal decades in my searches to find something I want to watch. I've actually gone through lists on websites that collect and list sci-fi movies, and I've pretty much seen 90% of whats worth watching. And I'm taking about all the way back to the 50's.

So yeah, I'm not only picky... but I've exhausted he supply of whats out there as well.