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Multiple Settings "Whoopsie-Doodle! Looks Like I Went to Hell!": Chapter 1 of Against Her Tendrils

[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]-> Groan and listen to what is, undoubtedly, a long and boring backstory[/SIZE]


Knowledge is powerrrrr !  I need more data O.o   .....
 
---> Flip on the television, in the hopes of drowning chester out with The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas


Gotta compare them to see which is worse, after all. For science!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
[SIZE= 14.6667px]> Groan and listen to what is, undoubtedly, a long and boring backstory[/SIZE]
 
With 66.7% of the vote (2/3)...

[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]-> Groan and listen to what is, undoubtedly, a long and boring backstory[/SIZE]



[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]Chester clatters quietly,[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Irene, a long, long time ago, I was in heaven and--"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"No, you're made out of Hitler's bones or something. That's dumb. You're dumb."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Irene, if you could just quiet your infernal yap for more than a nanosecond, I would be amazed."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]You puff angrily, and decide to lay into how absurd the story is at the end.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"You see Irene, I should have been evil, but it turns out that I'm rather terrible at it, as you may have guessed. Being comprised of hundreds of the worst people who have ever graced the planet doesn't guarantee a heart of pure evil." He sighs, and pauses, almost baiting you into a response. You hold your tongue. He continues,[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"When they finally measured my soul value, it was determined that I was to be in Heaven. It was a glorious, transcendent eternity in paradise, but it was ripped cruelly from me when--"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"If it was an eternity, then wouldn't you be sick of it? I mean, I get sick of just about anything after half an hour, let alone an eternity."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Hush! Heaven didn't like the concept of an amalgam of evil being a pure soul, and so I was unjustly thrown from paradise. Away from a lifetime of peace, endless moments of joy, and the love of my life, Salome."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Alright, no way, that's stupid; You're a hairpin."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Really, Irene, you can't dismiss everything that doesn't agree with you as stupid, and besides, I wasn't always a hairpin."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Oh yeah?"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Yes, ages ago, I was a broach and--"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]His story is cut off as you frantically begin tugging at him. He yelps out in terror.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Life forces! Bonded! Remember you idiot?!"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Nope, I want out of this."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Fine, would you appreciate an abbreviated version, you indolent swine?"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Oh God, yes please."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]Chester groans, and composes his thoughts, humming as he does it. Finally he speaks,[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"I fell in love with an angel, and boy, it'd be swell if I could see her again. There, I think that's the shortest I can make it."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Ah, well you can hitch a ride with me when I ascend to my rightful place."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"I...I would appreciate that greatly Irene. I know that you have no say in whether or not I'm stuck to your head now, but your blessing means a great deal to me."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]You chortle, "I know, I'm the greatest. So, where do we go from here then, since you need to help me keep up this ruse?"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]He clears his throat.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Well, Irene, I figured, that if you're going to heaven, you need to look the part. Spiritually that is. You are a profoundly evil person."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]You're a little hurt, and you're honestly surprised by that. You raise a hand to your chest in protest.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Hey, I'm too young to be [/SIZE][SIZE=14.666666666666666px]legitimately[/SIZE][SIZE=14.666666666666666px] evil. I'm just misguided."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Irene, really, let's be honest..."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]He's quiet for a moment. Did he lose track of the conversation or is he peering into your mind?[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Irene, really, you once tried to get your gym teacher fired by loading a thumb drive with your own collection of depravity, and stashing it in her desk. Your evil is very premeditated, and if you're really going to Heaven, we need to heal your soul."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Oh my God, Hell got even worse."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]"Now, the first thing we should focus on is..."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]---> Readers Choice.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]---[/SIZE]


[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]Have fun with this one folks! [/SIZE]What's the best way to make Irene's soul a little less...tainted?
 

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