Walliver
Two Thousand Club
Okay, I am seeking advice, but it is not for anything serious or anything that would require a professional. Honestly it would probably just require some amount of self-reflection and maybe a bit of confidence, but I should probably ask for help anyway.
I have this friend- two different friends actually- that, whenever I think of them, I can only remember the times that they have been mean to me or have said/done things that have unintentionally hurt my feelings or crossed my boundaries. I have constantly meant to address these instances, but each time I do, I feel like I come off as a jerk.
For example, one of my friends has a habit of picking up stuff off my desk without asking because they think it is cool. When I asked them to stop, because it really bothers me when people touch my stuff without asking, they became really closed off and sort of stopped talking to me for that day.
Another example was the other friend talking about my work, getting really frustrated that they weren’t doing as well as I was. They said that I “don’t have to work hard to do well” and implied it was more impressive for them to get a good grade than it was for me or their other “smart” friends. This was really hurtful to me, since I do work hard, study, and try my best.
Other things like this have happened with my friends, but it seems to be a more common occurrence with these two friends specifically. So the question is:
How do I address these problems now (since these happened in the past) without making myself out to be a jerk or a self-proclaimed victim?
The last thing I want to do is ruin any friendships, but I also don’t want to let people say/do rude things and get away with it.
So, uh, yeah. Any and all help that any of you could offer would be appreciated. Thanks.
I have this friend- two different friends actually- that, whenever I think of them, I can only remember the times that they have been mean to me or have said/done things that have unintentionally hurt my feelings or crossed my boundaries. I have constantly meant to address these instances, but each time I do, I feel like I come off as a jerk.
For example, one of my friends has a habit of picking up stuff off my desk without asking because they think it is cool. When I asked them to stop, because it really bothers me when people touch my stuff without asking, they became really closed off and sort of stopped talking to me for that day.
Another example was the other friend talking about my work, getting really frustrated that they weren’t doing as well as I was. They said that I “don’t have to work hard to do well” and implied it was more impressive for them to get a good grade than it was for me or their other “smart” friends. This was really hurtful to me, since I do work hard, study, and try my best.
Other things like this have happened with my friends, but it seems to be a more common occurrence with these two friends specifically. So the question is:
How do I address these problems now (since these happened in the past) without making myself out to be a jerk or a self-proclaimed victim?
The last thing I want to do is ruin any friendships, but I also don’t want to let people say/do rude things and get away with it.
So, uh, yeah. Any and all help that any of you could offer would be appreciated. Thanks.