Other What Makes for the Ideal Roleplay Partner?

[PrincessHimeChan]

Hi guys!

So I am interested in getting people's opinions on the question of "What are the qualities of an ideal roleplay partner?" What I mean by that is what is important to you when picking out a roleplay partner, particularly a long-term (meaning over a month) roleplayer. Does the scheduling availability mean more than the length of the post? Or do you prefer roleplaying with a partner who replies multiple times a day, but it is scripting style or only in a specific POV (such as only using first-person writing?)

I'm also curious what platforms people use for roleplaying the most (for example, I tend to only use Discord, and prefer when my partner and I can both use Tupperbox to play multiple characters, but I have also used forum sites in the past). Do you expect your partner to know how to make a thread, or how to create a server on a site like Discord and use bots in a server to make the roleplays format to your liking.

I'm intrigued to see what people think qualifies the ideal partner, especially in terms of post-length, frequencies of replies, and preferences in roleplay type (do you only do original content, or do you do fandom-based roleplays, mixing in original characters?)

Thank you guys in advance for your opinions! I really am interested to see what people think

 

[Onmyoji]

I feel like the answer to what the ideal partner is will be different for different people.

Things like creating servers or threads or using bots don't matter to me at all because I can set up all that myself if needed, there is no point including it into rp partner requirements.

For me the deciding factor is that we click both OOC and IC. It's hard to explain because there clearly is some magic involved, but it's something like when we are both on the same wavelength and think in similar patterns, can guess each other's thoughts and we write in a similar way. So it can get to a point where you can write your post exactly how your partner prefers it to be and the other way round, without even discussing. And it usually means that OOC friendship builds up as well. My most long-term rp partners became my good friends and we still keep in touch even when we don't rp. If that happens, I can wait for a year for them to reply because when they do, we can pick up the rp and it will still be enjoyable.
So post frequency and length doesn't even matter. I think most magic happens OOC.

 

[Edric Blight]

Someone honest and communicative. Communication is key in forming a story!

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

Like Onmyoji said, I like someone I click with on the creative level, and it's also great when we can be friendly and chit-chat, too.

I like someone who is comfortable writing what they deem is necessary, not being an obsessive size queen (). Maybe that means a single paragraph. Maybe that means five. I think there is wisdom and maturity in the philosophy.

If we're writing fantasy, I like someone who enjoys using a system or randomizing outcomes. It's more entertaining to me than contrived danger or powerplay.

If romance is a focus, then my ideal partner is someone who uses images I'm into. As superficial as it may be, I'm not going to be as into the pairing unless I find the characters attractive. I don't write purely for fantasy, but I still want to indulge in the eye candy.

My ideal partner is someone who is willing to communicate. They announce planned absences, or if they have access to the internet, they let me know about delays. They're comfortable with being upfront when something isn't working for them and are open to overcoming such obstacles, instead of scrapping the roleplay, particularly if we were clicking so well up until that point. They understand that a roleplay partnership is as much a relationship as a friend or a lover, and that such things face hurdles; they need fostering in these moments. If a compromise can't be reached, then that's another matter.

I don't place much importance on posting rate, just that I can't respond every day and don't expect a partner to.

 

[UnhappyUnion]

I don't have to be friends with my RP partners or talk much OOC. I actually do not like talking OOC much if it's not necessary. Usually, how we RP together, what we do in the world, how we interpret things is communication enough for me. So for me someone who is focused on the RP and not trying to send me pictures of their dog is preferable.

Another two shorter things:

1.) Stick to the theme. Keep thematic unity. This is actually in short supply and what results in many of my RPs not working out with others.

2.) Be creative, add things to the world, write side characters... just do things. I do not like partners who are like dragging a sack of bricks along.

 

[Marzopup]

Honestly a big thing for me is that we're invested in each other's characters. I want to feel like we're making a shared world, not that we're just completing a transaction where you write my oc kissing the canon I want, I write it for you, and otherwise we have 0 interest in each other's stories.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I feel like patience and engagement are my big ones.

I have a crazy hectic schedule and will have unplanned medical stuff come up (mostly me pitching in for sick family members). Also sometimes I just get emotionally exhausted with work and can’t get online to post.

So someone who has a lot of patience and isn’t gonna be waiting by the computer screen for me to post at specific times is great.

Also I LOVE it when people get invested in my roleplays. I have a lot of ideas and often times it feels like I’m just kinda excitedly sharing them only to be met with stony silence. So it’s nice every now and again to meet someone who matches my excitement level.

 

[Gorantev]

Reading through this thread, I understand just how much I still have to learn in field of properly roleplaying, without forcing certain outcomes (plot railing) or being a jerk in general (in-Universe jerks are fine, when not overdone though).
My biggest problem, is that I often get into extremes, usually on the higher end, often resulting in powerplay (and I have hard time stopping myself from going overboard and forcing my own story).

As on topic of what RP parther would be preferable to me, it's someone calm, sensible, willing to communicate if something is going sideways (especially if it's my fault - I can use some brinding down to earth), and knowledgable in the setting of whatever RP we're doing (unless it's a completely original one, although in that case it's up to GM or myself to explain what we're into). Optimal time zone location (no more than 5-6 hours from main playing group in either direction) is optional, but appreciable.

And generally, while I don't have concrete requirements for my roleplaying partner, I still have  some standards, which are covered in RPNation rules and community guidelines anyway.

Have a nice day everyone present. While my contribution isn't adding much to conversation, at least I can explain my thoughts on the matter. Good Luck, everyone.

 

[Jannah]

A big one for me is being understanding and patient. As someone who suffers from mental health issues my posting schedule can be sporadic. Sometimes it can take me months to muster up the energy and muse to properly reply to a RP. Because of that I can't have someone who expects posts daily or really on a specific schedule at all. I need space to post when I'm able, otherwise I'm going to come at you with half-assed crap. I'm sure most players don't want that.

Communication is important too. Like, if my partner has triggers then they should tell me. I get into a lot of heavy themes so unless I'm warned beforehand about themes to avoid I could end up accidentally upsetting someone. It has happened too.

 

[Qazi]

Like Onmyoji said, I like someone I click with on the creative level, and it's also great when we can be friendly and chit-chat, too.

I like someone who is comfortable writing what they deem is necessary, not being an obsessive size queen (). Maybe that means a single paragraph. Maybe that means five. I think there is wisdom and maturity in the philosophy.

If we're writing fantasy, I like someone who enjoys using a system or randomizing outcomes. It's more entertaining to me than contrived danger or powerplay.

If romance is a focus, then my ideal partner is someone who uses images I'm into. As superficial as it may be, I'm not going to be as into the pairing unless I find the characters attractive. I don't write purely for fantasy, but I still want to indulge in the eye candy.

My ideal partner is someone who is willing to communicate. They announce planned absences, or if they have access to the internet, they let me know about delays. They're comfortable with being upfront when something isn't working for them and are open to overcoming such obstacles, instead of scrapping the roleplay, particularly if we were clicking so well up until that point. They understand that a roleplay partnership is as much a relationship as a friend or a lover, and that such things face hurdles; they need fostering in these moments. If a compromise can't be reached, then that's another matter.

I don't place much importance on posting rate, just that I can't respond every day and don't expect a partner to.

Word.

 

[Lufiggy]

There's a few key things that I tend to look for. I'm currently in a long-term roleplay. coming up on our year anniversary in a few months.
My partner did loads of the setting, characters, plots, and everything inbetween. It's fleshed out enough to be it's own full DnD campaign. I'm merely the guinea pig who's running the course.

I've done groups long-term in the past, and there's a few things I look for both in partners and players.

1. Someone I get along with and avoids causing unnecessary drama.
The moment you start experiencing problems with someone, feel free to leave. It's not worth it. I've had to leave roleplays open-ended because of the drama involved. I've had plenty of petty dramas that refused to die until I outright left the group.

2. Being able to plan ahead and capable of improv.
While not outright a necessity, having an outline for plots is super important imo. If there's no outline, being able to make stuff up on the spot is wonderful. There's always gonna be creative deadends, but having someone that can quickly make up something with/for you is wonderful. Note that I never have a problem with my partner "controlling" my character for plot. Sometimes there's a need for it in some situations.

3. Availability and punctuality.
So long as there is some communication for absence (or none at all so long as they're not ghosting me for months), then I do not care.

 

[StuartAnderson]

Communication;
I am okay with waiting for people if they're keeping in touch. People have busy lives; I get it. But when they disappear, and you don't know if they're coming back or not, it's irritating. This also depends on how long the post is. If their posts are long and of good quality, I'm willing to wait longer than someone doing a few lines. Having to wait a couple of weeks for a few lines gets irritating as the roleplay doesn't really progress. If someone is writing 10 paragraphs, there is enough for me to get my teeth into for a while.

Also, communicating likes, dislikes, story ideas etc., makes it flow better, easier to keep going long-term and more fun.

Reading
Roleplaying is as much about reading as it is about writing. Reading your partner's work, contributing to it, moving it forward etc., look for what they say and how you can develop it; otherwise, it can feel like you're telling 2 different stories.

Balance of proactiveness and following
I love the collaboration aspect of roleplaying. If I didn't, I'd write a novel on my own! so I will only roleplay with people who contribute to ideas, write twists and turns etc. Of course, it's a balance because I also don't want to be used for their fantasy, so if they only do what they want and do not develop my ideas, too, I'll leave. It's a tricky balance.

Side Characters/NPCs
NPCs are essential. They MUST be able and willing to write side characters and NPCs. I don't understand why some people won't; how can you create a realistic and engaging world when you go through your whole life only talking to one person?

In addition, I won't roleplay with people who won't roleplay side characters of a particular gender. We all have preferences, of course. But it's roleplaying. You're playing a role, and if you aren't able to play a minor side character of someone who's different to you, then that definitely says something about your writing.

Spelling and Grammar
I'm not looking for perfection, we all make typos (I have stubby fingers, so I make a lot, lol), but when there are so many free grammar checks etc., available online, which takes 2 minutes to do, it's frustrating when it's riddled with mistakes.

Enthusiasm!
Someone who is clearly excited for the roleplay and loves the characters and their interaction etc makes it so much more fun!

 

[Chill Alley Cat]

• Long responses that give me a lot to work with and opportunities for my character to react.
• Clear wording! Having beautiful writing and all the details is of course nice too, but useless is I have no idea who’s talking to who.
• Willing to teamwork for major events! Their character can straight up murder mine and I’ll be totally chill because we’ve been leading up to it for months or years!
• Naturally chemistry between characters and us. I like for my characters to be alike, complement, or be polar opposite to the other, and it takes a lot of talking back and forth to do that so it’s nice when another player gets it.

Avoiding pet peeves as well is golden, like Mary sues, and always rights, but overall this is the dream!

(I had lots of players like this by the way so yeah it’s been pretty great : ) )

 

[ash_williams]

For me , I like to see snippets of how they write to see if we’re compatible. Sometimes you can tell by the way that they talk and write normally too.

Personally I’m very peculiar about matching styles. And I need someone who can write off of me and vise versa.

Then there’s also , are they nice ? Do we get along ? Are they organized ?? I cannot stand unorganized roleplays.

 

[Burger King]

Someone who is responsive and communicative.

As I always say, it takes two to tango!

 

[princessxsugarcookie]

I feel like the answer to what the ideal partner is will be different for different people.

Things like creating servers or threads or using bots don't matter to me at all because I can set up all that myself if needed, there is no point including it into rp partner requirements.

For me the deciding factor is that we click both OOC and IC. It's hard to explain because there clearly is some magic involved, but it's something like when we are both on the same wavelength and think in similar patterns, can guess each other's thoughts and we write in a similar way. So it can get to a point where you can write your post exactly how your partner prefers it to be and the other way round, without even discussing. And it usually means that OOC friendship builds up as well. My most long-term rp partners became my good friends and we still keep in touch even when we don't rp. If that happens, I can wait for a year for them to reply because when they do, we can pick up the rp and it will still be enjoyable.
So post frequency and length doesn't even matter. I think most magic happens OOC.

Exactly this!

My long term rp partner became my good friend, and so when we aren’t able to post as much, there is a complete understanding! On days when I can’t post or they can’t, I look forward to our daily updates and sending memes and those kinds of things. Building that friendship is key for me, and it’s something that can’t be forced and the chemistry and all of the magic just has to be there.

 

[ForRpPurposes]

I think what makes a good roleplay partner is someone who is respectful of your boundaries, is good at communication, and contributes ideas for the roleplay.

 

[Naril]

Something that will always get, and hold, my attention is someone who can look at their setting and characters and think critically about them. If the world contains Element A and Element B, what does that mean for the story, for the world, and for our characters? These questions don't necessarily always have to have answers - I don't expect, nor do I want, the Silmarillion for every story - but if we can build a world that has a lot of "Because of A and B, C is true, D is handwaved, and E can happen but only in certain situations," I'm very happy. The world should make sense, it should inform the story, but there should be blank spaces in the map - things we can find out together.

I like writing. I try to bring a tone that suggests that the words aren't like pulling teeth, and that's something I like to see from a partner or partners too. This is a hobby, and it's not my only hobby, and hobbies should be fun. It doesn't make me feel special that a partner descended into the depths of fetishized misery to write me a few paragraphs, it makes me worry about them.

I love reading, too - I read constantly, widely, old and new. If we can talk about the last great book we both read, I am very happy.

I like writing with, against, or alongside, writers who allow their characters to be good at something. I'm not saying I want to play with the Mary Sue types, but the story is about these characters for a reason. They are the protagonists. Being able to own that idea is very important to me - with the understanding that we don't have to all be Wonder Woman or All-Might. But characters that have talents - that have character traits, both good and bad - tend to be catnip for me.

This has come up a few other times, but I want someone who's also engaged with moving the story forward. Have your own ideas, push on the world; be dynamic. I don't like to be in the position of Leader and Follower; we're on the same team.

I love when it's clear that a partner or group has read what I wrote, and responded thoughtfully. I write with more than surface level detail; important things may be between the lines and in the implication. I'll offer that same careful reading to anything my partner(s) write, and it's so exciting to know that someone is reading my words with the same detail that I read theirs.

And in terms of an ideal partner or partners, I'm going to be honest - I'm in my late thirties; I'm old, and I've done a lot of living in the time I've had. I like participating in stories with older writers, where we understand the pace we have to work at.

I cherish the time I have to write, but there's not a lot of it. I'm not going to keep to a fast posting pace, but I'll be proud of everything I hand over. It's so, so much more important to me that the words are lovely and the story is good than the speed at which they arrived. Do something you're happy with and I'll be your cheerleader and your hype woman; all I ask is that effort in return.

 

[Natasha4E]

I only do 1X1 but I'd say something like this:

- Someone who has the same preferences.
- Someone who can read.
- Someone who can communicate.
- Someone who moves the role play along.

Chemistry between the characters makes or breaks the role play.

 

[Gowi]

I think the biggest thing barring compatibility with ideas, style, etc. is flexibility.

 

[GojiBean]

I've only been awake for about an hour and a half as I start writing this. So, hopefully this reply makes sense and doesn't come across as too much of a rant (though I make no promises, lol).

My ideal roleplay partner is someone who understands and makes active use of the following concepts/staples of storytelling:

1) Meaning
2) Show, Don't Tell
3) Subtext
4) Pacing

Although I can roleplay with basically anyone, it's admittedly more difficult for me to be excited about roleplaying with those who don't understand or make use of these four concepts. If my partner knows they're good on two or three of these, but maybe need work on one or two of them, then usually I won't mind that. I can always mentor them on the ones they need help with if they'd like me to. If not, then I'll usually do my best to lead by example and let them learn naturally on their own.


For an example of what I like versus don't like about a partner who understands the aforementioned concepts, let's look at meaning (since that's the one I find most difficult to find in other roleplay partners).

(Also, here's where it might get ranty. Apologies in advance if it does, lol)

To bring "Meaning" literally means that the details you provide contribute to the advancement of either the scene itself, a current/future plot beat, a current/future story beat, your character's current mental/emotional state, or, in the best of cases, all of the above.

I find that a lack of meaning is most prevalent in posts that are filled mostly with descriptive details and very little in the way of dialogue or character interactions. People can get so lost in describing the scenes and environments that they forget the fact that those details simply don't matter unless there's something tying them to the advancement of the scene, the story, the plot, or a character's emotional/mental state.

Let's say one of my roleplay partners writes a post that's 5 paragraphs long, but 3-4 of those paragraphs are just for describing the scenery in our starting city location. Things like the sound of the wind gently flowing between the buildings of a city, the trees in the park nearby waving lazily back and forth, a dog barks in the background, the smell of bread from a nearby bakery fills the air, kids laugh and scream as they chase each other around, and all around us other people are conversing and going about their day, etc.

I would expect at least ONE of these details to actually amount to something and contribute to one of the aforementioned elements of the roleplay experience.

Perhaps that dog barking in the background seems a throwaway detail at first. But then in my partner's next post its barking increases in volume and frequency as it rushes out of a nearby alley with blood on its paws. A woman screams, and we're led to the discovery of a murder scene. Or, perhaps one pair of seemingly harmless NPC's that my partner's character happened to notice in the long post begins to walk past us in their next post. While doing so, they're speaking quietly and something about their body language is suspicious to my partner's character. Their character request to follow the suspicious pair, and as we follow them we stumble upon an inn that serves as a front for a human trafficking network.

In the case of a future plot/story beat, perhaps my roleplay partner's character notices a specific NPC person in the crowd around us and takes a deliberate mental note of them. We don't see that person again for a long time (like, months of real-life posting later). But later in the RP my roleplay partner happens to spot that same character again in an entirely new location wearing all new garb and seemingly acting like a totally different person than they did in their first appearance. This leads my partner's character to be suspicious about them. As we investigate we find out that person is attached to a thieves guild that's suspected of plotting with a mercenary guild to take out a government official. And it becomes a race against time to save said official and prevent this assassination plot.

If nothing else, the plethora of details provided in the long ass scene description should contribute to describing how my partner's character feels in response to their existence. I'll go back to the example of my roleplay partner's character enjoying the scent of the bakery, or admiring the beauty of the trees as they gently and lazily sway back and forth in the wind because these details reveal tiny fragments of who their character is.

There is meaning there. As long as there's meaning, I'm a happy GojiBean. And the folks who understand this and can actively make use of it and bring that meaning make me excited to roleplay with them.

On the flipside, I'll die on this hill: Detail for detail's sake is meaningless, and by itself it contributes nothing to the roleplay other than forcing us to read more while actually experiencing less.

The experience in storytelling/roleplaying doesn't come from standalone details. It comes from whether or not those details actually mean something and can/do lead us somewhere.

The more detail I have to read through which ultimately doesn't contribute to anything except making me read fluff which distracts me from what actually matters, the less happy I am.


ANYWHO!!

Apologies for the short rant.

Like I said earlier, I can roleplay with basically anyone.

However, I prefer roleplaying with those who understand and make use of the four listed concepts the most. People who know how to bring meaning to the details, use "show, don't tell," bring the subtext and leave the clues for me to figure things out for myself, and who can help contribute to a well-paced roleplay experience are my favorite kinds of people to interact and roleplay with.

Cheers!

 

[Serenata]

Starting off by saying, I look for those with similar interests and qualities. I have no particular order but I don't look for anyone who replies multiple times a day. I have a busy schedule outside of online sites and I don't have time for posting every day let alone multiple times in a day so an ideal partner for me would be someone not expecting beyond reasonable posting expectations. I also look for partners who don't mind receiving and giving detailed and descriptive writing in return. I rather have both parties using third person. I personally am writing for a character not myself and first person feels weird unless if it's in solo writing then yeah.

I only write on site. Not looking for any other platform especially not discord. Partners that enjoy this are a plus in my book. Those that want to write and contribute together with me bring a smile to my face not to mention overall friendliness as we are getting to know each other as writers. If a person is unwilling to contribute or even discuss ideas, that's a huge red flag for me. Or one word responses to my questions.

 

[MissyRp]

I've noticed a shared enthusiasm for the roleplay is key. Writing styles that match is also important.

 

[apocalypse tv]

the vibes are super super important for me - just your personalities and tastes being on the same wavelength is something that makes rp a lot smoother. i'm not exactly someone that needs to be best friends with who i write with but i think it's silly to pretend that a lackluster ooc can't bleed into the rp itself.

i also think that a lot of the time godmodding each other's characters is super stigmatized (and for good reason) but that giving and receiving input on the other person's character during character creation will make the dynamic and overall story better. i've noticed a "you can do whatever you want with your character and i can do whatever i want with mine and we don't cross that boundary" vibe with some people i've played with or some people have an oc they created years and years ago with an iron clad backstory and traits fully formed they want to insert into a new universe - and this kind of playstyle can work fine for some people, but i feel like for me that isn't as collaborative of a process that i like my rps to be.

 

[mishal]

I tend to seek out people who play characters that are a bit larger than life (I hang out on multiplayer RP text games, so you get to know a whole cast generally), almost bordering on cringey. Usually they end up being some sort of action hero or supervillain. Something about the combination of cartoonish/sincere really brightens me up, and I always end up bonding hard with those characters.