Story The World. A Joke.

[Drake Derringer]

(Feel free to ask questions)
Forest Gump is funny. He says life is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you're gonna get. I beg to differ. Life is, ah, like . . . a game. Yeah, that's right. Life is like a game. Every new scenario in it has to be approached with caution (or none, if you're like me) and then every time you run into it afterwards it becomes a pattern. Life, and everything in it becomes predictable because that is how everything has been designed (or not, if you don't believe in god).

But our world is constructed. If not by God, then by us. Yes that's right. Us. We the tiny parasites that crawl on this tiny ball of matter, orbiting in this tiny system, which orbits in this tiny galaxy we call the Milky Way which floats in this tiny universe that sits among this tiny collection of tiny universes.

Our spot. Right here. That we see, smell, hear, taste, is where we've built our tiny world. First it started out simple. Everything eating, drinking, fornicating, all the dirty shit. Then we discovered somewhere the complexities of good and bad and eventually our "primitive" ideal for survival became more complex. We started believing in an illusion called selflessness. But no. We've always been selfish. We're still primitive. At the core, we're all just animals. We're so nearsighted, that to plan for "the big picture" has no meaning. It's a joke. And a sick one at that.

So many modern day issues. Right? Politcs. War--wait wait wait, no. War is not new. It's just become way more devastating and results in a bigger boom because of all our new toys. Poverty. Not enough jobs. Endangered species. Like the tiger or the panda. Oh, or maybe the gorilla.

So lets play doctor, and the worl is our patient, ok? Does that sound good? Ok, good. So, I'm going to give you a dose of programs to help raise and patch up members of endangered species to reintroduce them into the wild. Mkay? Oh, we can't forget, we need ah, rehabilitation programs, aaand--oh! homeless shelters. Yeah, that sounds good. How about a war protest prescription. Yeah! Ahhh, and we-we'll start building more places to work and house folks, ok--Oh but remember! no encroutching on the land of endangered species ok? Good. I think our problem is solved.

Next month (Or another 30-50 fucking years if you wanna get literal) The patient comes back and complains that we haven't done enough. All these treatments have gone to waste. And they've been applied. By god! The prescriptions been all used up? Why oh why hasn't it been WORKING?????

Because, sweetie, all these issues you're treating are just the symptoms. Then what's the real issue?
​

Well that's easy honey. The official diagnosis is overpopulation.

So?

So that means you have to stop the population from expanding.

Yeahahahahahahaha! Oh that's funny--that's real funny, say did you make that up yourself?

Except it isn't a joke. We fill every space and as long as we try to treat the symptoms instead of the sickness, we're always going to have issues. China knows what I'm talking about! Look at him! He's growing up so fast! Now he made some mistakes, bumped and scraped a few joints, but he gets it. See America is a prime example of the issue. To control our population growth--OH! it's absurd! We'd be imposing on every person's rights even though NOT doing so is leading to all the issues we currently have!

Letting people have the freedom to have as many kids as they want is the reason our population grows at an exponential rate! But China recently (relatively recently) started to restrict the legal number of children per couple to two. Originally it was one per couple which led to a decline, but they learned from the mistake.

But what about the rest of the world hmmmm? Are we going to fixate so keenly on the fact that following China's example is breaching ethical and moral ground?
Ha ha ha. Well. Let me tell you something boy. It is wrong to allow situations that will put us through torture (And maybe eventual extinction) in the long term. But nobody thinks long term! Big picture! No!

Thing is, we are very tiny. Our world is very tiny. What happens in it is inconsequential to the rest of theoretical existance. So let's do something mate. Let's be a solution, mkay? Let's kill the sickness. One person, one town, city, state-- one country at a time! Because after all, it's only a joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEE!​

 

[Simon_Hawk]

 

[Drake Derringer]

Bravo. Bravo senior. You think I'm crazy. I see you calling me a psychopath, and the sad thing is that asking the question means you've already decided I am. And I don't blame you. Anyone thinking this way would be seen as a freak, but somewhere in there, you know I'm right. Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am crazy. My mind must have grown legs and run away with a cuckoo bird poking it's head out and playing it's music without a care in the world. Now that's funny!

But you see, the thing about sanity is, those who have it, don't know if they do, and those who think they do, don't. Sanity is an illusion-- like selflessness. Insanity is a label that is very much related to the word evil. Everybody is content to just slap the insanity label on any person who's mind they don't understand, and believe me, there's plenty of people deserving of that beautiful word out there. Just watch Dr Phil. You'll get the idea.

It's not my fault if you think I'm crazy. It's understandable. But now I think you're crazy. Maybe. Somewhere in there. Who knows, maybe it'll take just one bad day to bring out that little monster you have hiding under your bed.

Sanity is a mindset that means you follow the rules. But you're following the rules that we created for our tiny world. You see, before life existed, there were no rules. But then a dynamic developed once everything started moving around eating itself and fucking. Survival of the fittest became the one rule, and it hasn't changed, buddy. We still eat eachother and fuck, just in a different "more dignified" manner. But I bet even the pope is hammering away at some young girl while she screams "Thank you Daddy!". Yeah, we're just as sick on the inside now as we've always been.​

I'm a rare breed. Why? Because the rules mean nothing to me. Why should they? Oh because these rules are what keep everyone alive and safe? No buddy. No matter what rules you write down or nail into someone's head, you will always be in danger.

I may be crazy, but at least I question it. What about you?

 

[Drake Derringer]

I love a big bang, don't you? I mean, that's how the world started, so how about we celebrate with a few bombs? Thing is, killing alone isn't enough. It gets boring. And doing it the same way every time gets repetitive, which is what a psychopath does. There's no creativity in their methods. As good ol Dr Emmett Brown said in Back to the Future, "If you're gonna build a Time Machine into a car, why not do with some style?"

When it comes to killing, it's the same deal. But you need variety. Vincent Van Goh didn't make himself famous by only painting his lovely face. He painted all sorts of things, although his greatest work before he died was removing his ear.​

Guns are quick, convenient, but great for tying up loose ends. And in a gun duel, you'd better be the one who shoots first.

Knives allow you to savor the moment, bit by bit. Is it enjoyable? Does torture make you feel good? That's a good question because if you say yes, you're a psychopath, and if you say no, you're sane. That's why anybody would say no, because according to the rules, that's the right thing to say.

But, you see, the rules were made by the people around you. So why care about the rules? Why be something you're not? Why do things based on what others dictate for you?

I don't. And if that makes me insane, then so be it. This is the method to the madness. The reason is written above, but this is the context. See, I'm still playing Doctor, and the way I see it is, this world needs a nice therapy session. Only a few will come out on top. Only a few will finally wake up and see things for what they are, and the rest will fall. It's another old rule from our "primitive" days that still exists today. It's called natural selection, or survival of the fittest, sickest, craziest--if you will.

So let's weed out the sickest. Find em, play with em, and see who comes out on top. And if one of us goes, or both of us, let's hope it's with a really big BANG!

 

[Simon_Hawk]

Hated by many, hero to some.

 

[Drake Derringer]

This is one sad joke. Grand Moff Tarkin is barely a two on the cuckoo scale. He's a tool, not the master. Who cares that he has command over a toy that destroys entire planets? Woop de fucking doo, ha ha ho ho he he, there's nothing impressive about him. He lacks theatrical flair, he lacks enthusiasm--I mean look at that face! Has he no sense of humor? He doesn't even look capable of smiling! His moves are based on revenge and manipulation because he's a control freak! There's no groove in there what-so-ever!

Damn, this guy needs a make over--one second . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Here we go!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Awe! Look at him! Now that is a great improvement!

This man is a joke, his actions are a joke, his role is a joke because he's still going along with the rules of the world. He is still trapped, Certified SANE if you will, because there's nothing fun about him. Just a robot, going through the motions. Afraid to die. Afraid to fail.

Me? I'm not afraid to fail or die, I just hope it happens in a grand finale. Thanks for the laugh Simon_Hawk . That was hysterical.
​

 

[Simon_Hawk]

LOL

 

[Qazi]

Woah. Far out, dude. Tubular. Izzat LSD, man?

 

[Drake Derringer]

Qazi
What's with the hippy act? I know I have the kind of face to trip people out and maybe even scare the shit and daylights out of them, but I am in no way related to LSD. You sure the hell aren't the first to ask me that kind of stupid question. If you want a real answer, you better ask me outside of this thread, because in here, I am the Clown Prince of Crime.

I hope you'll forgive me but I misread your name the first time. It's just a space and letter away from being "Long Anus", which in turn may now become your nickname--just between you and me, ok? Just so you don't soil your panties like a patient in a psyche ward.

Here is where all the fun starts and finishes and always we all will go home (or die) with smiles on our faces, no matter the cause. So hold onto your hats folks, cuz you ain't seen nothin yet!

 

[Qazi]

That's hiiiigh as hell. Fo sho. Surfadelic and everything.

 

[Drake Derringer]

Ok Long Anus. Good to have your expert opinion, yes, I'm sure it'll bring in the viewers.

So people, what other lovely random dead thing is the cat going to drop on my porch? I mean we gotta have something to amp up our ratings, right? See, self entertainment goes only so far, and I am dying to find someone to fuck with. Somebody, maybe a doctor or sexy psychiatrist who wants to pick my brain. (Hint hint) I mean, a man needs a little satisfaction every now and then.

 

[Qazi]

Wowo, you're like wavee gravee, man, like some kinda clown prince shtick.

 

[Drake Derringer]

This guy has no idea who I am!!!! Yee he he, yee he he! I am the Joker! Any of this ring a bell? No? Nah, I think he lost his bells. What to do, what to do, hmmmm . . . . .
Oh I know!

 

[Venom Adhamm]

wow.
we really do live in a society.
gamers rise up

 

[Qazi]

wow.
we really do live in a society.
gamers rise up

Revelation! Hail!

 

[Drake Derringer]

Did I mention that guns are perfect for getting rid of those kinds of people who steal the spotlight or really annoy you till you feel like strangling the idiocy out of them? See, some people think they know what you're doing, like a kid who pops in on an adult conversaton and starts cussing up a storm because he doesn't get what makes an adult conversation an adult conversation.

In this case it's hilarious because the mindset is never outgrown-- which may be due to the fact that they can't or won't grow up. In our primitive days, these people would not have survived. They would have died. But you see, we have to preserve everybody. We pretend the rules of survival of the fittest don't apply, or it's childish wishfull thinking. What a hoot.

Nah, these people are either wastes of time or one-time use tools.

I wanna see a smile on everyone's face. You think you can step up to my level? Prove it. Wreck havoc! Kill whoever you want! But make sure you're having fun. Remember, it drives people insane when they see you're having a good time!

I want to find someone who completes me though. Someone who'll try their DAMNEDEST to take me down. Where is my ultimate toy? Hmmmm? Where is he or she who has the guts and the arrogance to stop me?

I'm waaaaaitiiiing . . . .​