A.I.S.H.A.
Artificial Integrated Social Human Algorithm
"Pa!" my old Johnny boy called out to me.
"Watcha hollerin' for?" I called back.
"Mama's treatin' a guest to some pie but he came a-comin' for you!" he said to me.
"Hm? Does he have a name?" I took a rag and wiped my brow.
"He dint say but I think he's one 'em devils. He don't look all too human," my boy said.
I stopped, with my brow raised, wonderin' what one of them devils wanted to do with me. Hadn't spoken to one since they last came ridin' causing all sorts of trouble a few years back. Toosookee Valley is usually left to their own. I patted my old girl on her back and stood up. "You just sit tight, Sally, I'll get back to milkin' ya in a jiffy," I slung the rag over my back and walked on over.
"He the type with horns?" I asked my boy, "You know the one's that like to talk and deal?"
Little Johnny shook his head, "No, he dint have much of them horns but I couldn't see his face. Just had some eyes all mean like lookin at me. Told me to come callin' for ya."
"Hmm," I rested a hand on my five iron as we walked. "He lookin' for trouble?"
"Don't think so. He was mighty grateful for Mama's pie," he said, "I reckon he was walkin' a long while. Seemed mighty hungry."
"A runner then. Maybe he got in bad with Sin-O," I said.
"Sin-O?"
"Sin-O Casino. The ole devil's house. Lucifer," I walked up the steps of our porch, "Go on. Get your sister," I patted my son on the head and watched him run off upstairs. I wiped my hands and headed towards the kitchen, rounding the corner and seein' what I prayed never to see in my life.
"Betsy?" I asked, layin' eyes on my wife as she stood frozen with a barrel to her temple. I looked at the man beside her and realized I was in worse than I thought. "The hell's Cain doin' here?"
"Hell is a nice place if you don't mind the heat," the man replied. "Sin's collectin' here now. It'd be nice if we got our due."
"You take your filthy hands off my wife or Lord help me," I growled, gripping my holster.
"I washed my hands and the Lord won't be helping you today. Ain't a saint or angel for miles," Cain's beady white eyes stared back, shrouded by the darkness beneath the brim of his hat.
"You got three seconds before I send you on an expedited trip to go see Him," I narrowed my eyes. Like hell was I going to let some brigand run my home. Damn them all. I suppose that's why folk like Cain are called Damned after all.
"Let me count for you, then," Cain said, "One-"
BANG! I drew my gun, and he drew his, but the first shot to fire came from my girl, with the ole double barrel up the stairs. Blasted his hand right off.
BANG! I smoked a hole right 'tween the eyes and watched his head snap back.
"Get 'im, Ma!" my girl shouted. These sin lickers don't die easy.
Betsy went and snapped the bastard's knee with the heel of her shoe and nabbed a kitchen knife, slamming it over his hand and stickin' it right through the dinner table.
Cain let out a growl like a sick mutt and opened his coat. Out came some blazin' musket barrel gunnin' right for me but I was the fastest hand this side of the Mississippi. I fired another one and split that barrel right through.
BANG! My girl, Amy fired another shot, punching a hole right through the bastard's heart. His body jerked all broken and cracked but his legs ain't give for nothin'. She popped open the barrel and out came two sizzlin' shells. Never been prouder.
Betsy went ahead and grabbed ahold of the roller and gave him a mighty fine wallop upside the head. She raised her arm again and-
BANG! I stopped. Thud! My wife crumpled to the ground, trickling down the side of her forehead. Cain's got two beady eyes and out his open mouth, with pearly white teeth, a smokin' iron. Out came a slitherin' tongue and swallowed it hole right again.
"You sick son of a-"
BANG! He raised his coat again and there waitin' for me was another damned barrel. Bullets were mighty hot when they got cozy right in your chest.
BANG! Cain fired again. BANG!
"If it ain't gold, blood will do," Cain said, low like tar and gravel. "Blood and souls."
"Papa, no!" Johnny cried.
"Go on and git..." was the last I managed to croak out before- BANG!
These red dirt roads ain't for everyone but for those with nowhere else to go, welcome to the old country. I mean the old country. Lord Almighty looks on like the morning sun o'er His sweet kingdom of fire and whiskey, dust and the good soil. Paradiso up Mount Canaan is His city and heaven willing, we'll all grace its pearly gates one day. There's the Darter Desert with the Devil's train, Leviathan burning through blazing sandstorms. They say there's mighty fine treasure awaiting those daring enough to steal from that man-eating metal beast. Most roads will take you through the Plains, though. Calvary Country its called. You can make an honest livin' there. Saints protect the towns and for the odd outlaw, Paradiso will send out its bounty hunters, angels ready to smoke their runners with righteous fury. Hair white as the gates they guard, they come soarin'. On occasion, they'll fly into Hell over yonder past the Georgia line and into Dodger Valley, the Devil Bowl and Pandemonium where atop his unholy throne, Lucifer sits in Sin-O Casino.
According to prophecy, the End comes when the Lord's Christ rides out on his herd of white bison and dusts the Georgia Line for good. The angels will fly forth and set Pandemonium ablaze. Now ain't that funny? Devils burning when they hardly blink at blazing infernos is mighty ironic. But the Georgia Line does end. It don't stretch all the way and for those of y'all that want to bend some rules, Darter Desert is your place. Well, all sorts of chaos happens out there. You got Ripper Canyon, with Molly and Dolly's Gumshot Cabaret, and I hear Beelzebub whips up a mighty wave of locusts that'll pick a man right down to the bone. Then there's East Crickland with them swamps and marshes, some good folk there but some nasty beasties too that'll eat angel and devil alike. Samson's the chief 'round those parts. If you see a fishin' line comin out from the fog, give it a tug and he'll come strollin' to lend a hand.
For us, though, our story starts in probably the wildest town these parts. Toosookee Valley ain't heaven-sent or hell-bound. In fact, it splits the Georgia Line right in two and the town we'll be ridin' into this fine mornin' is none other than sweet Jericho with its golden hills of grain and honey sunsets. Your business here is your own but I think you'll find there's more to this sleepy town than meets the eye and trouble is soon to find anyone it sets out lookin' for. Out here, there's really only a few rules set in stone: Death plays dice and Fortune plays favorites, but God and the Devil deal. The games are just for show.
Playable characters: Humans, Damned (dead humans - Hell), Saved (dead humans - Paradiso), Saints and Angels (Sheriffs and Bounty Hunters), Devils (Outlaws and Villains)
Why are you there? Well... word is Cain is lurkin' round these parts. Bringing his head back Dead or Alive is sure to set you for life and the next. A mighty fine bounty, dontcha think? Good luck. Lord knows you need it. It's why He branded the man.
"Watcha hollerin' for?" I called back.
"Mama's treatin' a guest to some pie but he came a-comin' for you!" he said to me.
"Hm? Does he have a name?" I took a rag and wiped my brow.
"He dint say but I think he's one 'em devils. He don't look all too human," my boy said.
I stopped, with my brow raised, wonderin' what one of them devils wanted to do with me. Hadn't spoken to one since they last came ridin' causing all sorts of trouble a few years back. Toosookee Valley is usually left to their own. I patted my old girl on her back and stood up. "You just sit tight, Sally, I'll get back to milkin' ya in a jiffy," I slung the rag over my back and walked on over.
"He the type with horns?" I asked my boy, "You know the one's that like to talk and deal?"
Little Johnny shook his head, "No, he dint have much of them horns but I couldn't see his face. Just had some eyes all mean like lookin at me. Told me to come callin' for ya."
"Hmm," I rested a hand on my five iron as we walked. "He lookin' for trouble?"
"Don't think so. He was mighty grateful for Mama's pie," he said, "I reckon he was walkin' a long while. Seemed mighty hungry."
"A runner then. Maybe he got in bad with Sin-O," I said.
"Sin-O?"
"Sin-O Casino. The ole devil's house. Lucifer," I walked up the steps of our porch, "Go on. Get your sister," I patted my son on the head and watched him run off upstairs. I wiped my hands and headed towards the kitchen, rounding the corner and seein' what I prayed never to see in my life.
"Betsy?" I asked, layin' eyes on my wife as she stood frozen with a barrel to her temple. I looked at the man beside her and realized I was in worse than I thought. "The hell's Cain doin' here?"
"Hell is a nice place if you don't mind the heat," the man replied. "Sin's collectin' here now. It'd be nice if we got our due."
"You take your filthy hands off my wife or Lord help me," I growled, gripping my holster.
"I washed my hands and the Lord won't be helping you today. Ain't a saint or angel for miles," Cain's beady white eyes stared back, shrouded by the darkness beneath the brim of his hat.
"You got three seconds before I send you on an expedited trip to go see Him," I narrowed my eyes. Like hell was I going to let some brigand run my home. Damn them all. I suppose that's why folk like Cain are called Damned after all.
"Let me count for you, then," Cain said, "One-"
BANG! I drew my gun, and he drew his, but the first shot to fire came from my girl, with the ole double barrel up the stairs. Blasted his hand right off.
BANG! I smoked a hole right 'tween the eyes and watched his head snap back.
"Get 'im, Ma!" my girl shouted. These sin lickers don't die easy.
Betsy went and snapped the bastard's knee with the heel of her shoe and nabbed a kitchen knife, slamming it over his hand and stickin' it right through the dinner table.
Cain let out a growl like a sick mutt and opened his coat. Out came some blazin' musket barrel gunnin' right for me but I was the fastest hand this side of the Mississippi. I fired another one and split that barrel right through.
BANG! My girl, Amy fired another shot, punching a hole right through the bastard's heart. His body jerked all broken and cracked but his legs ain't give for nothin'. She popped open the barrel and out came two sizzlin' shells. Never been prouder.
Betsy went ahead and grabbed ahold of the roller and gave him a mighty fine wallop upside the head. She raised her arm again and-
BANG! I stopped. Thud! My wife crumpled to the ground, trickling down the side of her forehead. Cain's got two beady eyes and out his open mouth, with pearly white teeth, a smokin' iron. Out came a slitherin' tongue and swallowed it hole right again.
"You sick son of a-"
BANG! He raised his coat again and there waitin' for me was another damned barrel. Bullets were mighty hot when they got cozy right in your chest.
BANG! Cain fired again. BANG!
"If it ain't gold, blood will do," Cain said, low like tar and gravel. "Blood and souls."
"Papa, no!" Johnny cried.
"Go on and git..." was the last I managed to croak out before- BANG!
Sin Wagon
These red dirt roads ain't for everyone but for those with nowhere else to go, welcome to the old country. I mean the old country. Lord Almighty looks on like the morning sun o'er His sweet kingdom of fire and whiskey, dust and the good soil. Paradiso up Mount Canaan is His city and heaven willing, we'll all grace its pearly gates one day. There's the Darter Desert with the Devil's train, Leviathan burning through blazing sandstorms. They say there's mighty fine treasure awaiting those daring enough to steal from that man-eating metal beast. Most roads will take you through the Plains, though. Calvary Country its called. You can make an honest livin' there. Saints protect the towns and for the odd outlaw, Paradiso will send out its bounty hunters, angels ready to smoke their runners with righteous fury. Hair white as the gates they guard, they come soarin'. On occasion, they'll fly into Hell over yonder past the Georgia line and into Dodger Valley, the Devil Bowl and Pandemonium where atop his unholy throne, Lucifer sits in Sin-O Casino.
According to prophecy, the End comes when the Lord's Christ rides out on his herd of white bison and dusts the Georgia Line for good. The angels will fly forth and set Pandemonium ablaze. Now ain't that funny? Devils burning when they hardly blink at blazing infernos is mighty ironic. But the Georgia Line does end. It don't stretch all the way and for those of y'all that want to bend some rules, Darter Desert is your place. Well, all sorts of chaos happens out there. You got Ripper Canyon, with Molly and Dolly's Gumshot Cabaret, and I hear Beelzebub whips up a mighty wave of locusts that'll pick a man right down to the bone. Then there's East Crickland with them swamps and marshes, some good folk there but some nasty beasties too that'll eat angel and devil alike. Samson's the chief 'round those parts. If you see a fishin' line comin out from the fog, give it a tug and he'll come strollin' to lend a hand.
For us, though, our story starts in probably the wildest town these parts. Toosookee Valley ain't heaven-sent or hell-bound. In fact, it splits the Georgia Line right in two and the town we'll be ridin' into this fine mornin' is none other than sweet Jericho with its golden hills of grain and honey sunsets. Your business here is your own but I think you'll find there's more to this sleepy town than meets the eye and trouble is soon to find anyone it sets out lookin' for. Out here, there's really only a few rules set in stone: Death plays dice and Fortune plays favorites, but God and the Devil deal. The games are just for show.
Playable characters: Humans, Damned (dead humans - Hell), Saved (dead humans - Paradiso), Saints and Angels (Sheriffs and Bounty Hunters), Devils (Outlaws and Villains)
Why are you there? Well... word is Cain is lurkin' round these parts. Bringing his head back Dead or Alive is sure to set you for life and the next. A mighty fine bounty, dontcha think? Good luck. Lord knows you need it. It's why He branded the man.
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i wonder how an angel like abbadon or a seraphim would work in this setting. im interested regardless, this is a super cool concept
