Please help me. I am so lost.

[kibou]

Hello all.

I am stuck in aaa v e r yaab i gaacave, and I do not know the way out.


There's all these TWisTY and tuRNy passages, they twwwist and turrRRn like they're trying to dance really swaggy and woo themselves a new gf.

I am very lost and I fear for my life. My cheap USCellular flip phone has no bars as if it was a box that used to be full of sweet, sweet radio-wave filled granola bars and some greedy little child came and ate all ten of the bars and they landed in it's cavernous cave-like stomach I bought them for myself why do my siblings do this I swear I will consume everything they own, and I left my computer at home.

I am so afraid. Somebody please help me. I am inside a cave and I cannot find my way out.


I stress that this cave is VERYBIG and very SCARY.

EVEN SCARIER THAN STOLEN UNCREDITED BOX-CAPTURED PEOPLE-LIKENESSES AND BAD KENNING! THIS SITUATION AND CAVE IS EVEN MORE EVIL THAN EVERY EXECUTIONER ELEPHANT AND AWFUL, ATROCIOUS ALLITERATION.

I am also very bored. A boredom of this level is almost torture, and is very inhumane. Once I get out, I am calling the police on this cave. It's disgusting.


There's nothing to do in here for entertainment. I have popped all of my pimples and there is nothing left for me. I tried scraping cute drawings of my favorite kawaii moe waifus into the walls, but they were made of rock and my nails are weak napkins and wear taped glasses.

 

[Prizzy Kriyze]

I suggest you return to where you took that first photo and continue walking something 20-feet forward, and I believe you'll find yourself outside.


Also, ain't it convenient you've got internet but no bars down there? Alas, I hope certainly hope you'll find your way out


- A concerned Kriyze

 

[The One Eyed Bandit]

this gets my vote for best choose your own adventure of 2015

 

[kibou]

I cannot, I am so lost! The entrance eludes me!


I don't have any internet either!? It's a cheap flip phone!

But I'm so glad you wish me success. I am doing my best.

 

[Life.]

Ghost! I apologize for all those bad things I said about you!!! I didn't mean for you to get lost in a cave with a crappy flip phone and notorious sounds of things you can't see!!! But alas no solution comes into mind for me to help you! Perhaps as a Ghost you should become one with the cave and haunt all those who get lost in it like you!!!

 

[kibou]

It's all very okay, Auto. Your words aren't the reason I'm stuck in a cave- these things just happen sometimes.


That would be a very fun idea I think, but I'd like to have Wi-Fi


Plus no probably ever comes to the cave- haunting bugs wouldn't be that fun!

 

[Atom]

Take a left


then a right


then another le- hey what's that loud buzzing noise..?

 

[The One Eyed Bandit]

So many greenies in this thread, gosh


at this rate you're going to catch on to me...

 

[kibou]

I s2g if there are bees in this cave I will climb onto a stalactite and then throw myself onto the ground repeatedly.

 

[The One Eyed Bandit]

I s2g if there are bees in this cave I will climb onto a stalactite and then throw myself onto the ground repeatedly.

Make sure you crush some of those damm bumblers for me.

 

[kibou]

If I even so much as touch a bee I will aim for a stalagmite on my way down.

 

[The One Eyed Bandit]

wait.


WAIT


WAIT WAIT WAIT.


Aren't you like, a ghost?


Can't you just wall-phase out of the cave?

 

[kibou]

Um. no?

 

[The One Eyed Bandit]

Um. no?

...


i'm on to you

 

[kibou]

i am stuck in a cave and very scared. how dare you mock me

 

[The One Eyed Bandit]

HOW CAN BEES EVEN TOUCH A GHOST

 

[kibou]

 

[Verena]

Well that explains it. What do you think dead bees become? I would suggest following a stream of water. It will always be flowing out of the cave. Maybe even the breeze of fresh air coming from outside. Trust me, I'm a wolf. I've spent plenty of time in caves.

 

[kibou]

Well duh. People who assume there's only human ghosts are crazy. How else would I be able to take care of my cat!? By writing in blood on strangers' mirrors, "Hello pls come to this address 64057 Ghosty Lane please feed my cat and give her some pets" and hoping they help me out? I'd be such a bad owner.


There is the sound of dripping water, I followed it but it just led to the floor. There aren't any breezes though. :,(

 

[Snickersnack]

WAIT WAIT, Ghost's in a cave?


Oh, god,

 

[kibou]

Whhhaaat?? Calling me a trOLL?

IM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THOSE LOWLY, SLOW-WITTED, STINKY HUMANOID BEASTS

 

[Snickersnack]

Keep calm, my Phantom. The Opera must go on!


...I mean the escape from the cave.

 

[Gabauchi]

The key to this situation is to fall asleep and pretend that you aren't in a cave.

 

[kibou]

But if I'm sleeping, how can I pretend!?

 

[Gabauchi]

Good point. For a more possible option then, I suppose you could pretend to fall asleep.