KasperXIII
Sworn To A Great Divide
While discussions of the bigger picture happened on the outside of the bathroom, on the inside, once Jenny was allowed in for a talk, she and Thalia took a seat side by side on the bathroom floor, both leaning against the locked door, and simply... talked. Not about the danger on the outside of the door, or about whatever they had to overcome to actually be friends again, but about the recent events of Thalia's love life. A comforting shoulder to quite literally lean on, which is what she did with Jenny. It was a time to vent, because she wouldn't get it again. Leaving the mansion was not an option without another lecture or complication, so whatever needed to be resolved, it had to happen here and now. Karin was right in saying that she needed someone to talk to rather immediately. It's not like it would be a permanent patch for the wounds, but it should be enough to keep her head above water, and knowing Thalia's past, Jenny knew she needed that badly.
And so, after the hugs, mild tears, and agreement to take a seat were in order, Jenny sighed and began, "I know this is probably hard for you..."
Sniffling, Thalia replied, "Hard? It feels like my heart just got stabbed."
"I understand." Her hand gently grazed over Thalia's face, her eyes now leaking with a few tears again. A soft touch, but also one for her to relax, because the way she was weeping didn't seem like she was doing a great job at it alone. "It's not easy to get over someone you love. I think you know that we know that better than anyone."
Thalia nodded. "I think our case was a bit different. You pushed me away back then. I pushed myself away this time."
That very wording prompted Jenny to ask a rather skeptic question, but also one for her own information. "Hmm... why, though? Why push yourself away if you love him?"
She caught her breath and continued, "That kid. Jordan. Do I look like I can raise him properly? Do I look like mother material?"
In an attempt not to further put her down, Jenny tried to sugarcoat the situation, "Well... not now, but maybe with time, you could be."
"Exactly. Not now. I can barely make myself breakfast or do my own laundry, and you expect me to feed a kid?"
Jenny didn't respond at first, thinking over those words. For a girl who didn't learn about such responsibilities at a crucial stage of life, she surely wouldn't be a suitable mother at the moment. But would she ever be? "I mean, what did you have planned for if you and Frank ever had kids? It would be the same thing, really."
Thalia lifted her head from Jenny's shoulder and continued, "I'd be more ready? I'd start from the ground up with kids. Not a traumatized kid pissing the bed and waking up and screaming at 2 AM."
"For the record..." Finally, something Jenny could speak from experience from babysitting. "Most babies... do that. They wet the bed at young ages, wake up screaming from nightmares... it's just who they are. Maybe not up till they're six, but again, I think Jordan's an exception. He just lost his family. Cut him some slack. Maybe when he's out of the woods with this tragedy, things will be easier."
The direction of the conversation was becoming one Thalia wasn't fond of. "Jenny, if you're here to get me back together with Frank, then get out."
Hostility was growing in her tone, which needed to be soothed once again. "That's not why I'm here. I just don't want you losing hope in possibly getting back together with him. Who knows? Maybe a family member will resurface in time and Frank will... well, he might be kinda downed, but at least you two can be together without the bump in the road."
Thalia shook her head. "Jordan has no next of kin. And I don't think he's going to leave Frank, and Frank won't let him go."
"Well..." Jenny's hand reached downward into Thalia's, interlocking their fingers together. "At least stay a bit hopeful that maybe, when you're on the road to recovery, maybe you can be that mother figure for him? Be that life partner for Frank?"
Again, Thalia's reaction was just a jolt of her head side to side, her voice continuing to break up. "Stop getting my hopes up. I was selfish for wanting Frank like that. So if he needs to be Jordan's father figure from here on out, then so be it. It's not like this is the first time my heart was broken. Or the second."
Jenny might've assumed the first time was between the two of them. But the second? She raised an eyebrow and asked. "Second? This... I mean, you've been with someone else? In Al-Asheera? I mean, besides Ra's?"
It then occurred to Thalia that Jenny didn't know about her affair with the Bride of the Hand. She nodded, calming down slightly. "Her name was Vanessa."
"Was?"
Telling the story multiple times made it slightly easier for Thalia to deal with. She just tried not to recall the gruesome details of the aftermath - watching her beheaded live and in front of her, then the head hanging like a trophypiece in her room later. "Ra's killed her when he found out we were a thing."
"I'm... I'm sorry, T. What was she like?"
"Honestly?" Her head leaned back against the door once again, remembering a better part of her time as a clanswoman. "A lot like me. Taken when she had nowhere else to go. Really pretty. Kinda goth... maybe more than you."
Jenny scoffed. "I'm not goth. I prefer just... deviant. Artistic. Unique."
It was only then that Thalia cracked a smile over her face and gently nudge her friend's shoulder. "Whatever, Jen... but really, she and I were very alike. Placed to marry the two highest members of Al-Asheera. Me to Ra's, and Vanessa to this other guy we're picking up, Roland. Al-Yed. Either name come up?"
"Roland... yeah."
"Hm. Once we got caught, it was really a choice: me or Vanessa. And... somedays I wish it were me."
Jenny shook her head. "Don't say that. I mean, Vanessa didn't deserve to die either, but don't wish you were dead either..." A reoccurring thought of Thalia's suicidal tendencies in middle school then came to light once again. "Don't tell me you feel like..."
She didn't have to finish the sentence for Thalia to guess her next words. "I might've, Jen. I'm in pain. What were you expecting from me?"
"It's not the end, you know that right?" What else could she tell someone whose mild was as volatile as Thalia's? "Look... you may not work out with Frank or anything, but there's plenty of fish in the sea. I felt the same way when I had my first heartbreak... I mean, not with you. But with some other guy in high school. Complete douchebag. Caught the bastard kissing one of my friends, just using me to get to her. It KILLED. But I got over it with time..."
"I thought you preferred girls." Only curiosity prompted that question from Thalia, only from their conversation on the bus.
Jenny shrugged. "Doesn't mean I haven't been with men. It sucked, but hey, it's all about experimenting."
Cracks of a smile came back across Thalia's face. Undeniably, she found Jenny attractive, and just imagining her in that sense was entertaining for herself. "Is this you inviting me to stop seeing men?"
She lifted a hand to clear Thalia's red bangs from covering her face entirely, giving her a rather teasing smile. "You can interpret that however you want to."
Thalia sighed again, just by hearing about Jenny's life being more productive. That she was emotionally stronger and more secure with her emotions and well-being. The physical contact was pleasant, but it left her mixed on the inside... what was Jenny after here? Was this more than just simple comfort? "It's just... Everything I love... just falls apart and pushes me away."
"...Not everything."
W...What? That was all too intriguing, and forced Thalia into sitting up to face Jenny again. "What do you mean?"
Jenny's hand now drifted over Thalia's cheek, taking its sweet time and moving ever so slowly upon her skin, leaving the redhead's heart to skip a beat. Maybe Thalia was secretly craving some form of intimacy, but from her middle school lover? What are the odds? She simply kept a deep gaze down this semi-goth's eyes, her head almost instinctively moving inward. "You know... I always had a crush on you in middle school, right? Even if I'd bullied you all the time."
Thalia nodded.
"Seeing you on that bus the other day reminded me of what we could've been if I weren't so selfish."
"Is that... why you kissed me?"
Jenny nodded, she herself taking her head into an advance. "I wanted to start over, Thalia. But when you said you had a boyfriend, I figured we couldn't. I'm not trying to sound like the rebound here, but I just don't want you to be alone and sad."
"I just... Um..." Thalia was a loss for words, unsure of how to think. She could still remember how desperate she was for that sort of spark with Frank a few nights ago. Maybe she had that same desire for intimacy with Jenny. It certainly was better than some guy she'd meet at a club. At least it would be with someone she could trust. "Jenny..."
Things were moving so quickly. But Jenny's intentions were sincere. She wanted to be something with Thalia, but also wanted her to get other her other thoughts distracting her. Primarily those of Frank. Maybe they could be something more when this is over, get Thalia's life in order. Let things roll naturally. It could work if her childhood friend just accepts. "Do you still.... like me?"
With the rate that Thalia's head had leaned in, the two had their heads rather, hands interlocked, Jenny's other one feeling over her cheek and down to her neck. Thalia lifted their hands in one another up to Jenny's neck, slowly getting closer. Was this simple desperation to get over Frank? Surely, intimacy was far better than pain. She wasn't thinking clearly at the moment, but she certainly wouldn't regret finally kindling the fire she once craved with Jenny. Her eyelids dropping nearly shut, the two met lips and kissed, rather softly, for roughly five seconds, before Thalia separated herself and whispered, "Can we..."
"...Not tell Karin?"
"I was gonna say not tell Frank or Tony. I don't mind if Karin knows."
"Mmm..." Jenny was certainly pleased that now her friend was happy. Not only that, but it seemed like they had a shot at being what they couldn't be so long ago. "That can work..." She quickly pecked Thalia's lips once more, and in whispers, continued, "I promise you, no curveballs like a kid until you're ready. We'll do this at your pace."
Thalia nodded, then leaning her face in closer to continue their kiss. This moment... was it a one-time thing? Or was Jenny serious about them being what they've both wanted for so long? She was promising things similarly to Frank. What was to guarantee that she wouldn't go down the same dangerous route again? What was important? She needed this, or she would probably never get over her immediate sorrows. A dangerous remedy, but one that she was accepting with open arms. Here goes nothing...
And so, after the hugs, mild tears, and agreement to take a seat were in order, Jenny sighed and began, "I know this is probably hard for you..."
Sniffling, Thalia replied, "Hard? It feels like my heart just got stabbed."
"I understand." Her hand gently grazed over Thalia's face, her eyes now leaking with a few tears again. A soft touch, but also one for her to relax, because the way she was weeping didn't seem like she was doing a great job at it alone. "It's not easy to get over someone you love. I think you know that we know that better than anyone."
Thalia nodded. "I think our case was a bit different. You pushed me away back then. I pushed myself away this time."
That very wording prompted Jenny to ask a rather skeptic question, but also one for her own information. "Hmm... why, though? Why push yourself away if you love him?"
She caught her breath and continued, "That kid. Jordan. Do I look like I can raise him properly? Do I look like mother material?"
In an attempt not to further put her down, Jenny tried to sugarcoat the situation, "Well... not now, but maybe with time, you could be."
"Exactly. Not now. I can barely make myself breakfast or do my own laundry, and you expect me to feed a kid?"
Jenny didn't respond at first, thinking over those words. For a girl who didn't learn about such responsibilities at a crucial stage of life, she surely wouldn't be a suitable mother at the moment. But would she ever be? "I mean, what did you have planned for if you and Frank ever had kids? It would be the same thing, really."
Thalia lifted her head from Jenny's shoulder and continued, "I'd be more ready? I'd start from the ground up with kids. Not a traumatized kid pissing the bed and waking up and screaming at 2 AM."
"For the record..." Finally, something Jenny could speak from experience from babysitting. "Most babies... do that. They wet the bed at young ages, wake up screaming from nightmares... it's just who they are. Maybe not up till they're six, but again, I think Jordan's an exception. He just lost his family. Cut him some slack. Maybe when he's out of the woods with this tragedy, things will be easier."
The direction of the conversation was becoming one Thalia wasn't fond of. "Jenny, if you're here to get me back together with Frank, then get out."
Hostility was growing in her tone, which needed to be soothed once again. "That's not why I'm here. I just don't want you losing hope in possibly getting back together with him. Who knows? Maybe a family member will resurface in time and Frank will... well, he might be kinda downed, but at least you two can be together without the bump in the road."
Thalia shook her head. "Jordan has no next of kin. And I don't think he's going to leave Frank, and Frank won't let him go."
"Well..." Jenny's hand reached downward into Thalia's, interlocking their fingers together. "At least stay a bit hopeful that maybe, when you're on the road to recovery, maybe you can be that mother figure for him? Be that life partner for Frank?"
Again, Thalia's reaction was just a jolt of her head side to side, her voice continuing to break up. "Stop getting my hopes up. I was selfish for wanting Frank like that. So if he needs to be Jordan's father figure from here on out, then so be it. It's not like this is the first time my heart was broken. Or the second."
Jenny might've assumed the first time was between the two of them. But the second? She raised an eyebrow and asked. "Second? This... I mean, you've been with someone else? In Al-Asheera? I mean, besides Ra's?"
It then occurred to Thalia that Jenny didn't know about her affair with the Bride of the Hand. She nodded, calming down slightly. "Her name was Vanessa."
"Was?"
Telling the story multiple times made it slightly easier for Thalia to deal with. She just tried not to recall the gruesome details of the aftermath - watching her beheaded live and in front of her, then the head hanging like a trophypiece in her room later. "Ra's killed her when he found out we were a thing."
"I'm... I'm sorry, T. What was she like?"
"Honestly?" Her head leaned back against the door once again, remembering a better part of her time as a clanswoman. "A lot like me. Taken when she had nowhere else to go. Really pretty. Kinda goth... maybe more than you."
Jenny scoffed. "I'm not goth. I prefer just... deviant. Artistic. Unique."
It was only then that Thalia cracked a smile over her face and gently nudge her friend's shoulder. "Whatever, Jen... but really, she and I were very alike. Placed to marry the two highest members of Al-Asheera. Me to Ra's, and Vanessa to this other guy we're picking up, Roland. Al-Yed. Either name come up?"
"Roland... yeah."
"Hm. Once we got caught, it was really a choice: me or Vanessa. And... somedays I wish it were me."
Jenny shook her head. "Don't say that. I mean, Vanessa didn't deserve to die either, but don't wish you were dead either..." A reoccurring thought of Thalia's suicidal tendencies in middle school then came to light once again. "Don't tell me you feel like..."
She didn't have to finish the sentence for Thalia to guess her next words. "I might've, Jen. I'm in pain. What were you expecting from me?"
"It's not the end, you know that right?" What else could she tell someone whose mild was as volatile as Thalia's? "Look... you may not work out with Frank or anything, but there's plenty of fish in the sea. I felt the same way when I had my first heartbreak... I mean, not with you. But with some other guy in high school. Complete douchebag. Caught the bastard kissing one of my friends, just using me to get to her. It KILLED. But I got over it with time..."
"I thought you preferred girls." Only curiosity prompted that question from Thalia, only from their conversation on the bus.
Jenny shrugged. "Doesn't mean I haven't been with men. It sucked, but hey, it's all about experimenting."
Cracks of a smile came back across Thalia's face. Undeniably, she found Jenny attractive, and just imagining her in that sense was entertaining for herself. "Is this you inviting me to stop seeing men?"
She lifted a hand to clear Thalia's red bangs from covering her face entirely, giving her a rather teasing smile. "You can interpret that however you want to."
Thalia sighed again, just by hearing about Jenny's life being more productive. That she was emotionally stronger and more secure with her emotions and well-being. The physical contact was pleasant, but it left her mixed on the inside... what was Jenny after here? Was this more than just simple comfort? "It's just... Everything I love... just falls apart and pushes me away."
"...Not everything."
W...What? That was all too intriguing, and forced Thalia into sitting up to face Jenny again. "What do you mean?"
Jenny's hand now drifted over Thalia's cheek, taking its sweet time and moving ever so slowly upon her skin, leaving the redhead's heart to skip a beat. Maybe Thalia was secretly craving some form of intimacy, but from her middle school lover? What are the odds? She simply kept a deep gaze down this semi-goth's eyes, her head almost instinctively moving inward. "You know... I always had a crush on you in middle school, right? Even if I'd bullied you all the time."
Thalia nodded.
"Seeing you on that bus the other day reminded me of what we could've been if I weren't so selfish."
"Is that... why you kissed me?"
Jenny nodded, she herself taking her head into an advance. "I wanted to start over, Thalia. But when you said you had a boyfriend, I figured we couldn't. I'm not trying to sound like the rebound here, but I just don't want you to be alone and sad."
"I just... Um..." Thalia was a loss for words, unsure of how to think. She could still remember how desperate she was for that sort of spark with Frank a few nights ago. Maybe she had that same desire for intimacy with Jenny. It certainly was better than some guy she'd meet at a club. At least it would be with someone she could trust. "Jenny..."
Things were moving so quickly. But Jenny's intentions were sincere. She wanted to be something with Thalia, but also wanted her to get other her other thoughts distracting her. Primarily those of Frank. Maybe they could be something more when this is over, get Thalia's life in order. Let things roll naturally. It could work if her childhood friend just accepts. "Do you still.... like me?"
With the rate that Thalia's head had leaned in, the two had their heads rather, hands interlocked, Jenny's other one feeling over her cheek and down to her neck. Thalia lifted their hands in one another up to Jenny's neck, slowly getting closer. Was this simple desperation to get over Frank? Surely, intimacy was far better than pain. She wasn't thinking clearly at the moment, but she certainly wouldn't regret finally kindling the fire she once craved with Jenny. Her eyelids dropping nearly shut, the two met lips and kissed, rather softly, for roughly five seconds, before Thalia separated herself and whispered, "Can we..."
"...Not tell Karin?"
"I was gonna say not tell Frank or Tony. I don't mind if Karin knows."
"Mmm..." Jenny was certainly pleased that now her friend was happy. Not only that, but it seemed like they had a shot at being what they couldn't be so long ago. "That can work..." She quickly pecked Thalia's lips once more, and in whispers, continued, "I promise you, no curveballs like a kid until you're ready. We'll do this at your pace."
Thalia nodded, then leaning her face in closer to continue their kiss. This moment... was it a one-time thing? Or was Jenny serious about them being what they've both wanted for so long? She was promising things similarly to Frank. What was to guarantee that she wouldn't go down the same dangerous route again? What was important? She needed this, or she would probably never get over her immediate sorrows. A dangerous remedy, but one that she was accepting with open arms. Here goes nothing...