Journal My Thoughts, My Dreams, My Feelings.

[macathan]

“As a rule, I am very careful to be shallow and conventional where depth and originality are wasted.”

​

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”

​

My Thoughts, My Dreams, My Feelings.


A Guide to Lilah Tunth, also known as Aisuluu Assanova.

Introducing my very sophisticated, important, and strange mind.

Well.


Hi? To be honest, I have no idea why I'm even doing this. I never am able to stick with journals because I find writing down my useless abstract thoughts a waste of paper (prefering to doodle while I still have paper). And yet here I am doing exactly that, while listening to mainstream bands that all girls love for the very "relatable" lyrics.


Got a whiff of the type of person I am?


No?


Well then, I'll tell you. I am the weird kid who sits alone at the cafeteria, waiting for the popular girls to ask for her to join their clique, and become a brat just like them. Bet that's not what you were expecting. You were expecting a sob story about not being pretty enough and being harassed by classmates.


No, don't be silly, not all dorks are bullied, not all people are shy and humble, not all people have happy stories, even if they aren't so sad either. Despite how much of a ditz people think I am, people actually like me! (SHOCKER! Since when do us crazy psychopaths get liked? Well the clever ones do, the ones that can hide do.)


I'm not known for being quite, in fact, I'm pretty much the opposite. Not to the trope of being brash, but I like being heard out. I like pretending my opinions matter to people other than me. They don't, but us humans can place meaning onto anything, like simple sounds suxh as 'love' and 'responsibilities'. But how can I say that?! I'm just a simple girl barely out of her tweens.


As you can see, I rant, and I assure you, that's ALL I'll be doing here.


I felt I needed somewhere to vent, after all, I haven't stayed long enough in one place to have a best friend like I assume most of you do.


My family moved before I made any attachments to my classmates, and even when we settled down again, I found myself unable to connect due to a languages barrier. Then we moved once more, and there I can't get any friends again because of lack of common interest and mental capacity.


I feel quite upset about this, but self pity is common, no?


People lie often to get pitied. I assure you though, this is the truth of my life.


I'll probably post more, maybe I'll just forget about this, maybe I'll delete it later.


You just read all that? Congrats.


And thank you for hearing me out when most never do. From my brothers to my other family members, no one hears me out, so I thank you, for wasting time of day by listening.


This is what I love about RpN. Here people can relate, understand, and don't walk away with heartless apathy.


Thank you.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

​

“Nothing sways the stupid more than arguments they don’t understand.”

​

 

[macathan]

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

​

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”

​

LIlah Recommends List!


Warning, I recommend stupid shit for kicks and giggles sometimes.

Songs/Bands/Music

-Antonio Vivaldi's Four Seasons.


-PATD stuff


-Melanie Martinez music


-TOP is bae


-FOB is also bae


-Halsey is very neat shit


-Fox Stevenson


-Some Nightcore


-Vocaloid stuff (GUMI is life)


-nanobii - Rainbow Road

Shows/Movies/Anime

-Death Note, cuz' L


-No Game No Life :3


-Danganronpa


-Social Network


-Guy Richie Sherlock Holmes


-BBC Sherlock


-Black Butler


-Soul Eater


-Tokyo Ghoul


-Criminal Minds


-PIXAR Movies always


-Dreamworks Beauties


-If you want to die, Adam Sandler movies.

“Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish.”

​

“The truth may work for some people, but I’ve always found it’s best to be flexible”

​

 

[macathan]

July 6th, 09:18 AM, 2016. A Trip to the Village.


So recently (like three days ago), we visited the village and there we stayed in order to make preparations for my dead uncles death day anniversary. he died about two years ago, a time which was very dark for my family. Soon enough my grandmother died, probably due to stress and shock.


Is it strange that I can only miss them so much?


I don't remember them, not much, so I didn't really miss them.


Can you miss someone you never knew?


Anyhow, we held a feast, aunts and uncles I never met my entire life where there like usual.


I didn't like it there, so boring and same as normal.


I hate it.


Well, this is it for now.