thefierysiren
The Feisty One
I just had to say it. I needed to get it out.
I'm actually an opera singer, but I just moved to another state and I'm not familiar with the area enough to pull singing jobs yet. I did however find a job that I love. I currently work at a treatment center/high school of the arts for teens. I am an RA and I spend most of my days helping kids with various trauma and mental illnesses learn to build relationships, cope with their demons, and learn to lead a life as a functional human being.
Day after day I build relationships with these teens and talk them out of moments where anxiety cripples them or pull them up when they're drowning in depression. I listen to their stories and give advice. I let them cry on my shoulder. I play bad cop when they're in need of tough love. But it's days like today when I feel like a hypocrite.
I do all that for them and then try my hardest not to leave my house on my off days because the thought of talking to people I don't know makes me anxious. When I'm depressed or thinking irrationally, I feed them with my thoughts and actions and make them a lot worse than they need to be. I'm aware that I'm doing this, but I don't care in the moment. And then it's time to go back to work and I slip right back into my role like I wasn't doing the things that I try my hardest to keep these kids from doing.
I feel hypocritical.
I'm actually an opera singer, but I just moved to another state and I'm not familiar with the area enough to pull singing jobs yet. I did however find a job that I love. I currently work at a treatment center/high school of the arts for teens. I am an RA and I spend most of my days helping kids with various trauma and mental illnesses learn to build relationships, cope with their demons, and learn to lead a life as a functional human being.
Day after day I build relationships with these teens and talk them out of moments where anxiety cripples them or pull them up when they're drowning in depression. I listen to their stories and give advice. I let them cry on my shoulder. I play bad cop when they're in need of tough love. But it's days like today when I feel like a hypocrite.
I do all that for them and then try my hardest not to leave my house on my off days because the thought of talking to people I don't know makes me anxious. When I'm depressed or thinking irrationally, I feed them with my thoughts and actions and make them a lot worse than they need to be. I'm aware that I'm doing this, but I don't care in the moment. And then it's time to go back to work and I slip right back into my role like I wasn't doing the things that I try my hardest to keep these kids from doing.
I feel hypocritical.
